 Ladies and gentlemen Tony Gaskins here, let me see remember I Still learning how to work this here um chat now the way I'm gonna do it I was gonna get questions in advance, but I just you know, I'd rather be on the fly So what you'll do is put a question in the chat and then when I see it Then I'll answer that question and then after you see me done with that question then post your next question Versus posting a question while I'm talking because I'm not really reading while I'm talking Is it deceptive to not tell a man you are a virgin being that you said you should not tell him That you are waiting for marriage. That's a good question When I said you shouldn't tell him that you're waiting for marriage What I really mean by that is you shouldn't tell him within like The the first month the first maybe even two months like it shouldn't be on your calling card It's not something that you have to keep secret forever But you want to allow a man the opportunity to get to know you and to fall for you Before you go and tell him you're waiting until marriage now when it comes to being a virgin the same almost applies but virginity is different because Unless with your virginity, you know for a fact like if most virgins if you've come past, you know 21 22 then you're pretty much committed until marriage. So when you say I'm a virgin That's different than saying I'm waiting until marriage because when you say I'm waiting until marriage meaning that I want to be absent until marriage That means you've already Been there you wrote that bicycle before and you know what that is like So it's easier to slip up whereas when you're a virgin, it's much harder to slip up So and in virginity to be honest with you now if it's an absolute doll Then it's a challenge to him but if it's not an absolute doll then virginity is a huge huge plus to a real man because He will appreciate that and he will say wow I'm I'll be special like this will be special He might not be a virgin, but he will appreciate you and and that also gives you the opportunity to be a little picky too Because there are men who are virgins actually NFL game going on right now and one of the guys Tyler Lockett, I've talked to him a few times. He follows me on Twitter. I think a Article came out about a poem. He wrote he's a virgin and I think he's 27 So there are men who are waiting until man who are virgins and waiting until marriage as well And I coached another NFL player who was a virgin and I know another guy who's around that same going on 30 Who's a virgin so it's out there So when y'all see me answering the question, don't post your question wait on until you see me done Then post it so it'll be fresh and I will not be able to get through all of these Does moving to a new city or state make sense when pursuing love to meet new people? Yes, it makes sense it makes sense because not only will you be in a different place where you can Meet someone but you also will be in a different place where you can spread your wings You can get better jobs. You can you know do more you can have a better quality of life You you have more so that when you attract your husband and you have children They're being raised in a place that has more to offer like for example where I live at I mean where I grew up at if I went back there to Arbandelle, Florida They don't even have high quality travel teams for for soccer So I have to be in a bigger city so that my son can play on a higher level Elite soccer team because his goal is to go pro. So I say that to say yes Sometimes it is time for you to move from your hometown or from wherever you're staying if you see that It's not offering enough for your growth Is it ideal for a man to not date because he's focused on himself and his career Or is that his way of saying he's not interested? That's a good question and Typically Hey for one Before I go too deep I just want to thank all y'all for being members anybody who is confused anybody you see who writes a question and They have that little green sign or any color sign That means that they are a member of the channel Part of the blessed tribe and they committed to give a dollar ninety nine a month for Exclusive content, but more so really just to support me. So I really really appreciate y'all a Lot of men to be honest with you That is an excuse for most men to say I'm focusing on me. I'm focusing on my career It's an excuse for most men You will find some men though, but but with those men understand this He will have everything else in his character that lines up with it So this guy will be a you will be able to see with the way he carries himself his faith His speech meaning the way he speaks the way he dresses where he goes what he does Now if this old guy who he's getting drunk, he's going to the club You know, he's smoking weed. He cursing like a sailor. He doesn't really have any faith a belief system Then it's a complete excuse and even it doesn't have to be that drastic either But if you see that his lifestyle does not line up with someone someone who is focused and driven then it's an excuse and Men will hit you with that and the reason why men will hit you with that is because To be honest with you men don't like to directly hurt a woman's feelings. So The alternative of that lie would be to say, uh, I'm not really into you because of You ain't got no booty and I'm looking for one with with booty, you know, like the alternative would be him having to say something I'm clicking these button and to go on. I really really appreciate you. I really thank you for for your support I see I think you're in another country because it is it says SEC so I'm thinking that Hi, Tony, where's a man coming from thoughts and motivations and goals when he is operating from his ego in dating Also, how does a man move from operating from ego to operating from love? That's a great question. Um a Man who's operating from ego Essentially what that is is a man who was Kind of lame growing up. He was kind of ostracized. He was kind of left out. He was kind of overlooked He was hurt by women that the woman he wanted the women he wanted didn't want him He maybe had some other type of insecurities or issues So and it can range from anything. It could have been his skin tone It could have been his his teeth. It could have been his weight his race It could have been anything being privileged amongst people who were poor being poor amongst people who were privileged So just a man's childhood wounds makes him Insecure which makes him weaker and so that causes him as an adult to operate from ego Because when someone is operating from ego, they are operating from a place of weakness Because when you are humble and when you are truly confident confidence is rooted in humility and When you are humble, you don't operate from ego So what has to happen really with that type of man is he has to meet someone male or female a mentor a Woman he's trying to sleep with and he has to be called out Someone has to speak right to The issue someone has to say listen You faking and you front and you more than that and you need to grow up and get it together And that's what happened with me. I was operating from ego just from my insecurities And my wife she looked me in the eyes and she said listen You you in the streets, you know trying to sell drugs, you know trying to be tough But that's not you you're not a goon. You're not a goon like you better than that You're smart you gifted your talent it use your gifts Stop trying to be something that you're not and I was highly offended. I'm like really you're gonna tell me I ain't no goon like you're gonna tell me Ain't real, but it really was a gut punch and I was like wow, okay Let me get out these streets cuz she just pulled my car and that's what has to happen a man somebody that a man respects Values or it's trying to get to that place Erica. Thank you so much I'm 31 and he's 45 if there's too much of an age gap He has no kids and has never been married and a great career any red flags Me or thank you for being a member y'all forgive me for the other questions I answered it out and say your name some are I can't hardly see your name. Okay you 31 He's 45 that age gap is way too big The reason Ben is he old enough to be your daddy. It's it's men who it's women who had children At 12 13, I know one woman had a child at 10 another one had a child at 13 a whole bunch to have 14 15 So he old enough to be your daddy in this day and age to be honest with you and this what a lot of times we don't think about and I want y'all to really think about this is When somebody when you look at age difference you really have to take it all the way back Somebody had her child at 15 Glenn Ross So that's that's my point exactly like when you get across that 10 year difference that that person could be your parent and so What you have to do is when you're looking at age difference A lot of people don't like to do this don't like to think about it like this But you got to look at it like a newborn dating a 14 year old and then ask yourself How does that look and the reason why I say that is because Them 14 years that he has on you That's 14 years a game that he knows that you don't know that's 14 years of lines That he knows that you don't know that's 14 years of of tricks and and Tools that he has that you don't have and so that's why it's dangerous when you date so far Apart now if it's just a couple years a few years that's different But when you think about it that other way now you get to see like That's why they say it's like taking candy from a baby Because imagine a 14 year old walking up to a baby and the baby holding that 14 year old's Favorite piece of candy Thank you the baby just screaming and yelling What the baby gonna do swaying on you know baby can't even walk baby don't know how to defend itself baby Don't know what to do and that's why These age gaps in relationships can be dangerous because it literally becomes like taking candy from a baby And so I'm 35 If I'm dating a 21 year old. Oh, it's a route. It's a route She don't know nothing She knows nothing none of the games none of the none of the tricks and trades and under tools That's in my belt. She won't see what hit him and so you got to be careful and then the other thing What you got to think about is Y'all from two different Generations so essentially you like different type of music you want to do different type of things so When you got 14 years apart and you thinking about marriage and you thinking about until death does us part You can't just think about the right here and now you also got to think about when he's 60 and you are 45 and 45 you might be in your prime 60 he might be getting ready to go down the other side of the mountain and When when he's 74 and you're 60 like We all know somebody a woman that's 60 years old a lot of women at 60 years old still vibrant, you know still You know rocking and rolling But then you think about a man that you know that 74 that's gonna be something that's real vibrant But a lot of them they walking slow they talking slow or they acting different They really ain't with all that that they were with 15 14 years ago 15 years ago at 60 so You kind of you got to think long term not just like oh, I'm 31 and I'm looking for some security and he 45 And he got that bag because he got a great career and we could travel around the world right now You got to think beyond that Does a grown boy ever miss the access to the other woman after she has found her worth? Does a grown boy ever experience pain or regret? Um, that's a great question and the answer is no so when a person is doing something that is In their mind acceptable and normal you can't really regret something that is acceptable and normal and It's even I say this the same thing right now with like the me too movement it's like we live in a world that has normalized so much stuff and It has made like a Lot of women have accepted a role of being ran over being the other woman Being you know less than and and men have been reinforced for it So when it's normalized in society, it's hard to have regret Over something that's so normal and so a grown boy never really regrets Anything in the true sense of the word regret Which would mean to me to come back and apologize and to repent I know it's not real and and the other thing you have to say to yourself is why am I worried about that? Why am I wasting time on that? Why am I asking that question? Like let me just forget it Let me work on me. Let me heal. Let me grow and it's it's easier said than done, but Anything worth doing is easier said than done, but it has to be said in order to be done So you kind of got to look at it differently. I'm starting to focus on healing myself How can I help my sons become functional and no love when you heal yourself and you work on yourself? You will be the example What you deal with what you tolerate how you carry yourself? That'll be their example It's 12 months after dating too soon to get married No, if y'all were consistent for 12 months and you're talking an hour a day, then no, it's not too soon But if you were every other day Every four days once a week you took a month off took two months off. Yes, it's too soon How do you support a man and his growth without becoming Bob the builder? um You know, it's real, you know cute when somebody said Bob the builder and But it doesn't mean what it sounds like So to support a man and his growth means that he is actively growing It means that he is progressing. It means that he's getting better every day It means that he's moving forward So to support him is to be there to be beside him You know not to enable him not to be a crutch not to give him something He doesn't deserve not to carry him not to pay his bills paying his bills letting him live off of you letting him hold Your car. That's not support. That's enabling him But if he's doing the right thing speaking life into him affirming him Hey, I really respect what you're doing, you know, keep going. It's it looks amazing on you do your thing Melanie Reed, thank you so much for your support for your donation I see you you're not a member But for those of you who not members and I don't even know if members have that option in the super chat It has like a dollar sign and it may say a number when you hit that I think you can you pay something or it charges you I Haven't been on that side of it But it shows you even if you're not a member it'll show me your question and and and your Submission so I thank you for what you submitted it Can a man change After messing with married women Yes, a man can change any man can change look you you talking to one that was the absolute worst That was the absolute worst, so I'm I am a firm believer in change, but hey, it has to be changed like it really You are no change You will no change when you see it, but If it's still doing the same things didn't know I am Pentecostal and have a very conservative lifestyle Men are typically attracted to me upon my appearance, but once they learn how modest of a life I live we encounter issues. How can I help this? You can't help it, you know, you can't help it and you should not change But it's plenty of Pentecostal men out there So you might need to go to a bigger church join the singles group Get out more join the life groups get on the bowling team Start serving more go to the soup kitchens Just get out create a routine that has you out and about it's plenty of Pentecostal men That's that single and that will understand your lifestyle I told them guilty of enabling my husband. We have been together since we were teens How do I support him becoming more independent? He doesn't even try anymore You know, I hate to lie to you I mean I hate to tell you the truth, but those situations is is they they they they are It's pretty tough because once a man has your number and He's complacent and he's used to you It's just ran its course if a man is in that space and he's been with you since y'all were teens then Something very drastic has to happen something traumatic may have to happen a lot of times teen relationships Last long out of an addiction out of familiarity out of soul ties but not out of real love and Eventually 15 20 years down the line y'all wake up and realize that you totally different people and And it just doesn't work But it's hard for a man to change when he's familiar familiar arity Breeds contempt and when a man knows you like his shoe size like the back of his hand It's hard for him to respect you and and what you add to his life How long should you date before? Going into a relationship Three months three months and if at three months the man is not ready Then it's time to keep it moving. Why would a runaway husband come back after years away, Ingrid Thank you so much for your for your gift. I really appreciate you a runaway husband would come back because He thought he wanted something else. He thought there was better out there. He thought that The grass would be greener on the other side, but come to find out It wasn't his upgrade turned out to be a downgrade and he realized that if if he's not willing to change then Nothing changes. Elaine. Thank you so much. It says your message is retracted. You may have to submit it again And so that's why he comes back really just out of familiarity. Really. It's the soul tie. It's that Situation where he thought he was going to be upgrading but He didn't change in between you and whoever else he went to and those women Kick got tired of him kick him to the curb or he realized what he was trying to get one gonna happen Hi, Tony does asking a man for advice create connection or can it put you in the friend zone? It does create connection. It does create connection because men love to be needed men love to be needed. That's why a lot of self-proclaimed independent women struggle because they say hey am I intimidating men am I intimidating men and It's not that men are intimidated It's just that a man may feel like there's no use for him in your life If you know it all and you have it all and you got it all together and you don't value outside input So to ask a man for advice It really really really creates connection. It's actually I've never even spoke on that, but that's actually like a secret Way to Get a man to fall in love with you Because the more a man expresses himself the more he falls in love. And so that really is Why teachers fall in love with the mint tea the mentor falls for the mint tea You know the the boss man falls for the assistant That's really why because that man is is feeling needed Hey, Tony, I'm serious about God and growing my relationship My boyfriend said and showed he wanted the same at the beginning Don't want to force anything, but I want him to grow also any suggestions It depends on how long y'all been together and this is here boyfriend So now if y'all been together for more than a year and he's still stagnant then you could be wasting your time but Growth should be something that it comes natural. You can speak into his life You can encourage him, but you cannot carry him. So if he's not actively Seeking growth and trying to get better then you could be barking up the wrong tree And so you got to put a timeline on your energy and your effort and then see If he's going to respect it We broke up four years ago and I'm happy now because he was never going to love me the way I needed him The love I gave away to him. I'm giving to myself and children now Okay, you have a question on God bless you that that's amazing what you're doing and that's powerful When you get into that space How can you build the foundation of friendship without becoming a forever friend? You should be dating but being friends. So being friends don't mean you're not in a relationship Y'all can be exclusive and being in a relationship But being friends just mean that you conversating you talking you going to the movies, you know me and my wife are friends We and we still building our friendship When you get stuck in the friends zone is when y'all don't establish that you're attracted to one another and that you can see yourself being with each other and Becoming exclusive. That's when you get stuck in the friends zone. Hi Tony. Why would my ex? Who basically told me he was in love with his ex-girlfriend who he was seeing while dating me be looking at my pics and liking on social media Um He's just bored, you know, he's just bored. He just want to keep you in the roller-decks He want to keep you in a rotation. He want to mess with your head Anointed stilettos. Thank you so much for your gift. You are already a member I believe you a member and and you blessing me a I really really appreciate you that that really blessed my heart Hi Tony, what does it mean when a man likes other women's pictures on Instagram? He is 27 years old He is African man, I'm 26 years old Woman three months in a relationship. Let me see you You got you ain't got no real picture So I could you say here African man I was if you were trying to make a point because if you are European or Caucasian Because I wonder why you making a point that he African Now if you mean African, I don't know if you mean from Africa if you mean he live in Africa He live in Africa. Yeah, he African American, but either way Anything relating us with Africa Got some gusto in him got some libido got some testosterone and I'll tell y'all the truth a man liking a woman pictures on Instagram Especially like The only pictures that I like of a woman on Instagram is if she posts my book if she posting something of me She posts a picture with me from a seminar. She posts my book. You know, she posts a screenshot or something But if she posts a selfie, I'm not liking another woman I am Persian and he is African and Gola. Okay, you Persian Mm-hmm Do y'all have money because I heard Persons have money I they had a show it didn't have a show about Persons they have money and I'm curious if y'all live in the same city or if y'all online dating now if you met him online and you online dating and he is Liking other women pictures from the internet and you met him from the internet and if you in Persia and he in Africa You wasting all of your time you wasting every second of your time now You have to be living with him in the same house for Y'all to even have a chance like in the same city Seeing each other every week Um For you to have a chance if he's on if he's online liking women pictures and what I was gonna say Okay, y'all close That means he's still dating that means he's still open that means he's still looking and the reason why a man likes a woman's Pictures online is because it comes up in her notifications. So what he's trying to do is get her attention That's the only reason because men don't care that much men is not you know pat on the back tight You know unless it's a friend unless it's something charitable unless it's like something real But if you see him like a selfie if you see him like a bathing suit picture If you see him like an outfit of the day if you see him like something. That's just Irrelevant then he's trying to get her attention point blank period and he's not serious about you He's still very wide open. He's very wide open Tips to creating multiple revenue stream That's that's a great question out of the Outside of the relationship space. She say hey, I'm trying to get to this bag now y'all ask about the immense Well, I tell you what this is what I do I Identify my natural gifts and I got a course on this on Tony gaskins academy calm So y'all know how to spell my name Tony gaskin and then you know how to spell Academy So put in Tony gaskins academy calm and I got all these courses on there where I really go in depth on it and Again for me, that's another stream of income I took my knowledge I took my experiences and I put it into a course and then I market it online That's an example of another stream of income I'm taking my knowledge right now and I'm putting it online on YouTube That's another stream of income because YouTube will pay you they'll put ads on your videos and then if your videos get ads or Advertisers want to put their ads with your video Then you can earn income It all varies. It's no salary. It's nothing set. It could be zero It could be a million not me a million, but some people make a millions so I say that to say Identify your gifts your natural gifts then identify your passions and then see which can be married Because I can have a passion for singing, but I can't sing so your passion may not be your gift and Your gift may not be your passion But you can become passionate about your gift So I was not passionate about giving relationship advice because I'm a man and it's breaking the man law and It's hard to go against your nature and against the laws of the land Every single day day in and day out. That's very very hard but I had to become passionate because I realized that I have Wisdom in the space and that I can articulate what I'm thinking and feeling and that not everyone can do that That not every man can do that. So your gift is something that not everybody can do Equally as well. That's your gift and then you take that gift and you put it in the marketplace wherever You can be compensated for your gift So that that's how it works and then so you can put it on YouTube But then you also can put it on iTunes, but then you also can put it on Amazon calm Barnes and Noble calm all of those are Revenue streams and so that's how you create Blessings coach, where'd you get the inspiration for your message on blackbook syndrome? Did someone email you about it? No? I came up with that years and years ago years ago when I Just was talking about you know how men always coming back men always coming back men always And so the inspiration the title I just made it up You know just knowing a black book is where people used to keep their contacts and then syndrome I don't know what syndrome fully really means technically means, but you know So I just kind of put it together play on words And I try to do that because you know when you're giving out information you you want to try to label some stuff Give it your own coin phrase Hello, Tony my ex-boyfriend tells About his house guests and I can't come visit when I found out it was a female and To introduce me he says it would be weird. Why? And still wants to be friends your ex-boyfriend. Okay. Okay your ex Um, yeah, you got to cut him all the way off cut him all the way off move on with your life Put your track shoes on stop looking back at him stop asking questions about him Stop thinking about him and move on with your life Don't don't ever entertain an ex ever entertain an ex because your energy Become x energy and it block your next energy So you cannot attract your next if you still entertaining your ex so you got to remember that But Tony if an ex-husband comes back how to tell if the return is genuine and not ego. It's always ego. It's always ego It's always ego uh a man If a man wanted you he wouldn't have left you And so that's what you always have to realize now if what he was doing made you leave him Then that's different But if you left him And he really really wanted you and he's of age and this your husband He would have been working with you the next day working for you the next day And working for you non-stop so hard so consistently and then if if he's an exception to the rule and it's real then what happens is He will look different. He will Walk different talk different not literally walk different, but you know what I mean So if he looked like Judas when you was married to him when he come back He's gonna look like christ And that's what I mean. So he you his energy will feel different But if he's using the same words he got the same demeanor He he'd get into the same little Sit the same little ways about himself every now and then It's ego My ex tried to cheat on me, but the girl rejected him Then he introduced me to her without Me knowing anything. Why did he introduce the girl to me? I do not know. I do not know why he did that He just real confused. I do not Understand that one I don't understand that one Ingrid I wish I would put that on instagram Uh cj Appreciate you appreciate your brother appreciate you. I'm not used to seeing men on here. I sure appreciate you I don't know if you're married or if you're single, but if you're single you're in the right place Might meet your wife How to deal with a co-parent who is twice my age a co-parent Who is twice my age? And Uses my child To spite me by blaming me for not seeing her Every time I bring up his child. He takes personal shots at me He will never be with me Um to deal with somebody like that. You just can't deal with them The point blank period. It's no remedy for insanity. It's no remedy for stupidity It's no remedy for ignorance when somebody just acting ignorant on top of ignorant I just don't deal with them. You know, I focus 100 solely on you and your child Focus on your child and don't give him any energy that you are not required to give him by law by the court And don't go up and down with him highs and lows. Just focus on your child Ulysses a I really appreciate you. Thank you so much for your blessing. That means a lot my brother Tony had my brother Tell me all stressing about the fact that he was on the phone The other day with his lady and then she got a call from some guy she worked with she must didn't know he was still on the phone I don't I ain't get to see the end of you your question He was stressing Oh, he heard their conversation and he asked her About it if they were friends and she said yes, and he also Asked to hang out with her She said okay, but he didn't hear nothing else Because it hung up Hmm, let me see this other one So you say this your brother Sound like he's been thinking about what to say when he addresses this to her especially for the fact He feels it was disrespectful, especially for her to hang up on him for The guy who called her should he be worried And upset at the least He ought to be leaving JC now don't tell Ulysses to become a member because you listen Hey, you listen Look here Ulysses got a bag on here. You listen. Hey, I appreciate you brother Ulysses If you a member for $199 Brother a god trying to use you you hear me god is trying to use you brother cuz you just That's $40 that you just Bless your brother with a brother looks here brother listening on you listen Hey God bless you I'm I'm commanding heaven sent a blessing your way You hear me You about to have me on here like peter pop off with some with some holy water And a rag to put in the mail to your brother. Hey, I really appreciate you, but I'll tell you this right here When a man dealing with a woman and tell your brother this hell When a man dealing with a woman who She she moving Like a man meaning that She's learned how to how to juggle Men she learned how to date multiple men Because it's not natural for a woman like a lot of women they say listen Tony all this multiple men dating and all this too much for me for a lot of Women that's not natural. So when a woman taps into that and she learns how to do that That's some savagery on her hands, you know, like she's she getting good and when she gets savagery like a lot of men get that savagery She's smarter than a man women naturally smarter than men because they think with both sides of the brain So what happens is When you dealing with a woman that's smarter than you and she's slicker than you she's smoother than you She ain't that smooth because she got caught but That's dangerous. That's a danger zone. That's a danger zone and he got to pull back. He got to pull back He got a sitting he got to watch He got a sitting he got to watch and he got to pay attention He got to listen Don't even tell her that he know that he knows she he just got to watch her behavior for a little bit if he really Like her but it sound like to me um beyond switch brother he uh He dating out his lead So what I mean by that is It might not technically be out of his league But what I mean is it sounds like to me He's into her But she's not sold on him and so She might have him in that box of um He nice But i'm not attracted She might have him in that box So with that type of situation She's still looking for her bad boy. She's still looking for the man that she's attracted to and He gonna end up, you know paying a price for it Because when a woman is into a man It's gonna it's easy for a woman to shut everything down if she into a man She she could lock it down and be focused on one man Way easier than a then a lot of men can Sometimes men they automatically and think it's exclusive, but it's nice. Hey, that's that's a good thing looking for a question How can I be more assertive when I know a relationship won't work? And break it off. I'm too nice If if you're not gonna be assertive then life just gonna eat you alive And it's gonna get you to a place to where you're gonna have to Be assertive you you just ain't been broken enough You ain't been beat down enough by by life And if you keep playing with it, that's what's going to happen So I advise you to get real assertive and be very intentional about your dating before You lose your legs Any tips on dating in your 40s? um Create a routine Create a routine create a schedule I think a lot of us don't have a day schedule and what I mean by this is you have to be very intentional So you have to have a situation to where you Every saturday you say i'm going to starbucks from 10 a.m. To 2 p.m. I'm working on my business plan I'm working on my business working on my dream, but i'm out of the house Every friday from six to seven. I'm walking through the mall. I'm walking around the mall I may pop in one store get me one little gift 12 dollar shirt out of h&m But i'm walking through the mall then i'm gonna sit down in the food court for 30 minutes and i'm gonna have me a little snack my little um, acai berry Smoothie or whatever and i'm gonna sit there, you know by myself on sunday I'm going to church on wednesday. I'm going to the life group on so you create a A schedule to where you getting out of the house And when you do that because most people Just go to work and go home and then or they go to Same thing for the fifties or they go to the grocery store or the gas station, but they head down They on the phone they talking you're not with your head up on a swivel looking people in the eye speaking You're not doing those things I don't know if anyone could say I don't know if anyone could say she out of his league because she really out of his league because she's 36 And he 29 and she has an eight-year-old daughter And she only works part-time while he makes 160 a year um That's a good point. You listen. Hey now you listen. Now, you know the question you have brother Because hey Because no, hold on hold on you listen you listen Okay, you asking this question about yourself because the way you blessing me is Reminiscent of a man who make 160 thousand a year because brother You blessed me with fifth at all tonight So you almost them paid for a session well session is 200, but you almost paid for a session and I just I'm when I say lord Bless you list is I really mean that I really mean that brother But this one I'm gonna tell you is that a lot of women Because I think I have a video That talks about standards versus preferences and the issue is is That some women can't differentiate between standards and preferences So your brother may make 160k a year And here she is, you know got kids and only working part-time but your but Her type might be a thug So her preference may be tattoos Bunch of muscles Gold teeth whatever it may be And I'm saying this because I know a lot of women like this whereas your brother may be head on right Good man 160k a year just Mr. Mr. Right mr. Perfect and and she won't uh She won a bad boy She won't the thug and so I see this happen all the time where a woman have a man who got good money Good morals everything going for him will give her the world will treat her like a queen but She wants a thug she won't a thug with money She won a bad boy and the reason why is because she's looking for a daddy She's looking for A dad that she could sleep with Now you listen the ladies is telling you that they have come to the conclusion They think that man is you and they saying let her go you listen and you listen if that is you it's a lot of It's it's a lot of You know single ladies in here and your head on straight Your good man. Okay, you listen. I see you your donation to went down to five now I appreciate that brother. Like I really don't want you to keep You know doing those donations like that, man You you really bless my heart trying to see you listen. I can't really see and I don't want to come too close Because I don't want all my flaws and imperfections to be all in the camera Trying to see you listen, but you're in the car with the sun. I can't really see Now I make money but Not like my brother I'm just concerned about him to get advice because he has been really depressed and losing it you listen Tell your brother sign up for a session, you know, I got him. I help him out, but it sounds like honestly that he It sounds like honestly that that he he wants a woman That he's seeking approval not love He's seeking approval And so what happens is a man set his sights a man set his sights on This woman And she may have a perfect body or all of this and so he wants her and that's what happens a lot of times with us as men I call it Nichols wanting dimes they're not in a disrespectful way, but to say like A man might see himself as a dime, but the woman might see him as a nickel And so she look at that like a nickel and then she thinking she a dime So nickels dating dimes. And so what happened is it take you for for granted Hey, I only got 10 more minutes So if you got a question and and I'd have missed it Now see some of y'all keep getting y'all question in And um Some of y'all good with timing that question Angelique let me get somebody else Angelique because Because you timing that question right Angelique listen to what I said in the beginning I say post your question when you hear me done answering the other question Don't post it while I'm talking because I won't see it Dating a guy for four months. He confessed to lying about not Doing Two dealbreakers of mine I forgave him, but now I have trust issues with him. How do I rebuild trust and how do I know? He's not lying You know what because you at four months you safe, you know, you safe because He's still getting to know you. He's still learning you the issue is when a guy is the breaking dealbreakers After 12 months, but at four months and then now these dealbreakers now you you didn't mention And now look at a Ashley you list is are you a man of God because actually say she's trying to shoot her shot now ask the calm down now so What's happening is at four months a man is still getting to know you so that's different but what you have to do Well, you listen don't worry about the videos for me and all these donations you didn't gain man listen Every video I do is for a man if you just listen to it from the other side if you if you listen to it as A man versus listening to it don't listen to it like you a woman listening to it or like i'm talking You got to listen to it and say okay. Let me not be this guy Okay, this is the type of guy a woman has to stay away from am I that guy So you have to listen to it in a different way, but it just it would not do me any good to Now i'm gonna do a man series. I'm gonna do a man series I talked to my wife about that but only five percent of my views come from men So it just would not be a smart use of my time to do a bunch of videos for men When 95 percent of my views come from women the same thing with books You know books 75 percent of books are read by women So even in the publishing industry as bad as I want to write books for men They won't even let me they won't even publish a book for men because Only 25 of the readers are men So it's just it's just kind of the way it goes but You listen with the bag that you got on you you could be doing one-on-one sessions And I'm trying to get back to this later question So what I was saying about the four months is that He's still learning you but you didn't state what those dealbreakers are now if your dealbreaker was Him cheating on you Or him beating on you or him abusing you verbally any type of abuse or any type of cheating then Hit the road jack and don't you come back? But if the dealbreaker was like he said i'm gonna call at nine and then he called at 10 or he didn't call Then then that's different. He's still learning you Okay, she says cigarettes. Is that what you talk you we talk about the same person Oh If she says cigarettes if you talk about the same person that asked me the question about the dealbreaker Then cigarettes. Yeah, you're gonna have to let him go because one thing nobody is going to be is a An addiction And nobody's gonna be the Addiction you came if you up against a man in his addiction you wasting every second of your time Would you recommend googling someone you are dating or interested in especially if something doesn't add up Also, when do you think is the right time to introduce children? if if you have not googled them, but you've thought about it then That question you could have been typing in google, you know, you could have been googling him right then Google him in a heartbeat Google is your friend google is your matchmaker google is your consultant google is a life coach google Is your friend google him in a heartbeat you hit me? google him But not everybody gonna hit google though. So you might not find what you're looking for Is dating a man who cannot provide financially, but is a good guy wise Is it wise okay, you know a country we say wise like good guy wise like that like We use wise and so I was reading it a little different Like money wise um, but you saying wise like is it wisdom If he has character then he can get money If he does not have character then no amount of money will buy character so I say that to say It also matters how old he is Now if he's you know Up there up there And he still is not where he needs to be financially then that may be a reflection of his character Because if you are honest and you're hardworking and you're loyal and you're faithful Then you're gonna Work a job and you're gonna get moved up the ladder in your job And so that also says something now if he's in his 20s Then that's totally different when I met my wife I didn't have a job and then when I got a job I was making $8.50 an hour So she could have said to me I can't marry this man He can't provide and she married me and then she had to quit her job because our son was born early And we had to live off of student loans um student refund checks and and my 850 an hour Which my pay was 20 000 a year my wife Student stuff was like 10 k a year and I think my no 20 k a year and mom's like 10 k a year So that was 30 k from school and then 20 so that was 50 k We would pay all our bills and sometimes have 25 cent for the for two weeks to the next paycheck, but We made it because we had real love so and then now our life today is totally different because I instill my integrity and I instill my character and I started living as a man of character and that Built me in the world um, let me see uh, is this Uh, coach rod. Hey, I really appreciate you. Thank you so much. Hey god bless your brother Okay, we got a few men in here now. I don't know what y'all up to You know men a lot of time we don't trust each other But I appreciate y'all trusting me now. I gotta try to trust y'all Somebody told y'all hey, there's a lot of women over here and he lies. Hey over here So, hey, I hope y'all have a good intention Well, all y'all ladies if y'all end up in somebody dms of coach rod or you listed and they Dog yeah, y'all send me a message and let me know so I could put the apb out on them and and uh Do a video on coach rod or you listed but now I respect any man that come You know in here talk about learn about listen about relationships Can an insecure man miss 60 510? I thank you so much. God bless you. Can an insecure man Can change I keep meeting good on paper successful Highly manipulative controlling fearful and insecure men The beyond which is uh miss 6510 you just describe men Really, you just describe humans. It's not just men. You just describe humans So all of us gonna struggle like that. Um I find myself even today still having to fight insecurity. I'm 13 years in You know, I find myself even today still want to you know, say something to my wife when she's Doing too much key Ken at the soccer game with, you know, one of the Caucasian men And they be doing all that key Ken. I still go through my head I just look back to the old me and in my head. I'm like Asking that question that me and ash like So so what you and him were talking about? But you sure we're doing a lot of key Ken. He that funny? So what y'all so I have to fight all of that in my head and just realize Tony come on now You're in a hole another come on man. Come on. And so I say that to say That's just that's humans and as long as It doesn't become like for real like abuse like control But just like look conversation here and there That's you know, that's kind of normal How long does a woman need to wait on a guy to ask her on a date after they meet to be honest with you if a man is You right. I'm human too. Um, Nicole if a man Andrea, I thank you so much. God bless you. I really really appreciate you If a man is into you he's gonna ask you on the day ace out He's literally gonna be asking you on the date that next day when he calls you if he's really into you and he's available He's gonna ask you on the date Well, some men may say well, no, I need a time to get to know her. So I give him that he may talk to you a day You know like for a couple hours, but then after that, he know you and he's gonna ask He's gonna ask Hey, y'all my 60 minutes and hit and I told my wife I said baby last time, you know, I did an hour and 20 I said man, I wish I really could do 30 minutes, but it'd be hard when you See see so many questions and you don't want to leave anybody hanging Because some people act like they question the only question in the world and I mean I have people DMing me mad with me You ain't answer my question yet And I'm like man Am I on your payroll? You need to answer my question. I'm like wow I'm not finding birth your book on amazon or your website need to purchase that one Birth your book is on tony gaskins academy dot com tony gaskins academy dot com And you got to scroll down But before you buy birth your book look at the bundle that says authorpreneur just in case you want all of those courses in there Because it'll save you getting the bundle versus Buying birth your book and then going and buying the other courses that come after that See love. I really really appreciate you. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you for your heart Is it bad to date multiple men? I've been considering it to increase my odds of meeting the right person for me No, it's not bad to date multiple men because dating literally means going on dates It means getting to know a man. It means being a friend Now it's bad to sleep With multiple men, uh, coach rod was somebody that gave a donation to cold But it moved his name you could click on the the colorful things with the money And certain people They they give a donation and so they pop up and so coach rod was one of them So no, it's not a bad thing The only thing is you can't if it gets to where you calling tom jack And you calling jack tom now you're doing the most, you know, you're doing too much But as long as you can keep track of it and as long as you're not kissing them all you're not sleeping with them all and and you're not telling any of them that y'all are exclusive And when they say if a man asks you will you be my woman? Will you be? My girl will you be my girlfriend and you say yes now you've got to shut down everything else But if he does if he hasn't asked you that And y'all just talking y'all just kicking it y'all just going out then okay cool Talisha lord. Thank you so much. God bless you Natasha. I really really appreciate you. God bless you How to politely hold a guy accountable early in dating Um, just politely, you know, just just do it as if You talking to A friend at at work, you know do it as if you talking to Somebody that you would talk politely to and so You just you sit down and you have a conversation. You're not yelling You're not cursing. You're not pointing your finger in his face. You're not going off You literally just say hey, you know, I want to talk to you about this a situation that happened and y'all on the phone and You know, it really wasn't cool and I really don't appreciate that and And if we're gonna continue to move forward, I really won't be able to tolerate that And so I just wanted to let you know he may get an attitude and leave you for good He may get defensive, you know What have you nobody likes to be check but you got to do that because if you ignore the little stuff That's what makes him believe that you'll be okay with the big stuff To bella she say When they get to talking like that let her Share no a not to bella I don't know if i'm saying name right to bella and share h those right there Those the old mehiddles right there now They do not be playing. I done seen somebody I done seen them both to bella and share h Anybody get sideways? I am gonna hate the day that I offend y'all But anybody get sideways in them comments. They be on them. They be on them Some people just understand you some people understand you some people can read you and they can read me and they can understand Me and they get my intentions. They understand my intention. They understand that what i'm trying to do They understand why i'm here And so even if I say something wrong because all my videos just like y'all see tonight, this off top of my dome I didn't have these questions prepared, you know, this just i'm just a vessel, you know of the most high And so they get that they get that. Okay. He's human He may slip up and say something out of order say something the wrong way because he's talking And I'll tell y'all the truth When I do videos, I don't like most people I talk to they say man, tony Man, i'm working on my videos and man, I had to shoot it five times six times I keep having to stop I shoot my video one time and I don't watch it back and I upload it So i'm gonna have some missteps here and there But the reason why I don't is because I just don't have the time to be doing that because It's hard enough just to get a video up every day Let alone having to shoot it watch it back edit it all of that. I just you know, I got the I got the I'm trying to get the stuff out there So I don't be having the time to go back through it and they'll see that and they'll see and they'll Get where I'm coming from And the people who come and trying to start fights and trying to be ignorant And just trying to sow discord share and to bella they they they be on them. They be on them Coach rod, I listen to all your videos. Tony. I learned a lot from you There are still some good men out here the reason why I support you because I'm a real man of god Keep up the good work, brother. Hey coach rod. I really really appreciate your brother I really appreciate you and man We need to go on start a movement and just I hope more men are willing to grow and And just become better men every day We we all in perfect, but I really appreciate your example and what you're doing And and just showing up here because you could be here and be quiet and be Spectating, you know, like a lot of men do but you actively supporting and I appreciate that brother How soon is too soon for a man to ask you to enter in the relationship? It's really not too soon if Unless he needs you If if a man doesn't need you financially, but he don't need a place to stay He doesn't need you as a rebound because he just broke up with a woman yesterday. Then He a man knows when he when he knows I knew from the first day I sat down with my wife That was my wife. So you just have to look at the The circumstances if he homeless then okay, that's a red flag if he asks you to be with you and you got a place to stay He carless and you got a car That's a red flag, you know, he he needs some money and you got money That's a red flag, but when a man does not need you for anything And he's serious about you Then, you know, you got to just wait wait your spirit and see You listen my brother my brother my brother my brother Phew, man I'm gonna have to be your matchmaker if you single because man you really You really showed up tonight. God bless you and let me know you listen when you get that blessing that I don't pray it on you tonight Let me know Listen here you listen I was telling my wife earlier today. I said baby man. Hey, I'm gonna have to go strip. I'll say man because My fun tight you listen came in The lord say man, just get online and you ain't got to go out there and strip no more I ain't no strip, but I'll tell the wife if she say well go on here go on up there And then you listen and came up here and bless me Tony how should a man pray to meet a woman? Better Find his wife I feel like I've been praying for so long that I must be praying wrong even though I have faith and put my trust in the lord The thing about it is you listen and and I think I'm gonna try to end this on you listen question because uh My wife don't really care about me serve and she she uh She she's doing a whole bunch of stuff right now sunday is her her work night. So she let she let me work Because she ironed all the clothes for the week And do all this stuff. So she let me work But you listen I tell you this and this what you're gonna have to realize is The women that you meet the women you come in contact with You have to look at them and you got to pray to god for his lenses For his vision so that you see her Hold on before I finish that because Antogona She keeps asking a question and I need to try to read this and remember it before I finish yours I used to call my ex crown and the girl's name was princess And the girl's name was princess. I wonder if he wanted love the girl He tried to cheat on me with and why introducing the girl to me Oh, okay. You don't want to ask a question about introducing the girl to me No, they ain't have nothing to do with it But you listen you got to pray to god that you have his lenses and his vision so that you see her the way He sees her and so what I mean by that is when we look at people the way god looks at them He's judging their heart. He's not judging anything else, but their heart and height weight income Complexion all of these other things. He's not judging any of that a good night to all of y'all got to go to bed God bless you and this will be archived so you can Go back and fast forward to where you had to left let off at and um Catch the rest if you won't god bless y'all So that's what you have to ask and even with my wife, you know me being in the south Being around women with with, you know, derriere's I Was used to that my wife had a different shape and so had I just been looking through my eyes I would have said well, oh, she's not shaped like this. So let me keep it moving but I looked at her and I had to look at her through god's eyes and then guess what now 13 years. Well, really it's been Since probably eight nine ten years now. She has the shape that I was desiring when I got married You know if she grew into it, you know after two kids her body changed But I realized my vision was being superficial at the time when I was 21 And I'm looking around and so sometimes we looking at a person through our lenses We praying to god, but we keeping our lenses on instead of looking at people Through the way he wants to look at them But hey, thank you so much. God bless you Erica, I really thank you. God bless you. I hope you plan to do a book tour for the new book Hey, y'all do me a favor before you go, um or the night My new book is called a woman's influence a woman's influence And it's with my wife. It's me and my wife and please pre-order the book It does not charge your card now It'll authorize it, but then it falls off in a couple days But then it'll reauthorize your card next April 6th April 6th on 2020 Well, if you pre-order amazon bars and over wherever books are sold if you pre-order it lets the publisher know How many orders coming in so that they know how many books to print? So it's called A woman's influence is the book for men and women to read. Yes, it is And you can read make make it work You know, you can read make it work if you rather Read that but a woman's influence it is I think every book is for men and women to read because I can read something for a woman and still get knowledge Um, a woman read something or listen to something for a man and still apply the message to her Thank you naturally me for pre-ordering on amazon Um singles retreat not necessarily a singles retreat, but next year i'm doing a self love retreat It'll be in the redwood mountains of california I think the end of july beginning of august But hey god bless y'all. I went another you know hour plus hour and 15 God bless y'all a Share share got to go to bed. Good night share when share got to go to bed. I got to go to bed And when my hither when my uh security guard got to leave I got to leave But god bless y'all and uh, we will talk soon for everybody that blessed me tonight That hundred and fifty seven dollars. Look here that thing came right on time You hear me got bill collector's calling me left and right And they bill collector probably on this youtube on his live Now he gonna Hidden ignore all day now. He on on instagram give him a call now give him a call now But I put my phone on do not disturb because bill collector they start to track in you And they want to call you while you working And so they kept always interrupting my lives with them one eight hundred numbers So I put it on do not disturb But hey god bless y'all we'll talk soon