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STILL THE GREATEST ZOO EVER!!!

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Uploaded on Mar 30, 2010

GET ON DOWN TO OUR FRIGGIN' PARK AND CHECK OUT OUR FRIGGIN' ZOO!! IT'S GOT ELEPHANTS!! IT'S GOT HIPPOS!! I THINK I EVEN SAW A LION OR TWO IN THERE I'M NOT SURE ANYMORE, BUT THERE IS STILL A WHOLE LOTTA GOOD OL' AMERICAN FECES!!

MY RIVALS LAUGHED AT ME WHEN I DECLARED THAT I WAS GOING TO BREAK THE LAWS OF TIME AND SPACE IN ORDER BRING YOU, OUR GUESTS, THE GREATEST ANIMAL VIEWING EXPERIENCE POSSIBLE BY MAD SCIENCE!! WELL LOOK WHO'S LAUGHING NOW, JERKWADS!! MY GUESTS GET TO EXPERIENCE WHAT IS STILL THE GREATEST ZOO EVER TO EXIST!!

AND IF OUR COMMITMENT TO BRINGING YOU MORE ANIMALS PER CUBIC MILLIMETER THAN IS PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE WASN'T ENOUGH, NOW WE HAVE A SAFARI JEEP TOUR RUNNING RIGHT THROUGH IT, SO YOU CAN GET SO CLOSE YOU CAN PRACTICALLY TOUCH THEM (simultaneously, since half of them will probably be occupying the same volume of space at any given time).

SO COME ON DOWN AND CHECK OUT OUR ZOO!! YOU'LL HAVE FUN!! YOU'LL BE AMAZED!! STEPHEN HAWKING WOULD SCRATCH HIS HEAD IF HE COULD!! ONLY $2 ENTRANCE FEE, AND ALL RIDES ARE FREE!!


YES, WE ARE AWARE THAT THE DOORS ARE OPEN ON THE PEN, MANAGEMENT IS AWARE OF THIS. THE ANIMALS DON'T SEEM TO NOTICE ANYWAY, SO PLEASE STOP TELLING US ABOUT IT.

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