 CHAPTER 5 THE BUSHERS KID Well Al, what do you think of little Al now? But I guess I better tell you first what he done. Maybe you won't believe what I am telling you, but did you ever catch me telling you a lie? I guess you know you did not, Al. Well, we got back from the east this a.m., and I don't have to tell you that we had a rotten trip. And if it had not been for me beating Boston once, and the athletics two times, we would have been shamed to come home. I guess these heroes are the only ones I guess these here other pitchers thought we was having a vacation, and when they go up in the office tomorrow to get their checks, they should ought to be arrested if they take them. I would not go nowhere near Kamiski if I had not have did better than them others, but I can go and get my pay and feel all OK about it, because I done something to earn it. Me losing that game in Washington was a crime, and Callaghan says so himself. This here weaver throwed it away for me, and I would not be surprised if he'd done it from Spitework because him and Scott is pals, and probably he did not want to see me winning all damn games when Scott was getting knocked out of the box. And no wonder when he has not got no stuff. I wish I'd known for sure that Weaver was throwing me down, and if I'd known for sure, I would put him in a hospital or somewhere. But I was going to tell you what the kid done now, so here goes. We are still living in Allen's and his wife, so I and him come home together from the train. Well, Flory and Marie was both up, and the baby was up too. That is, he was not up, but he was woke up. I beat it right into the room where he was at, and Flory come in with me. I says, hello Al, and what do you suppose he done? Well Al, he did not say hello Pa, or nothing like that, because he is not only one month old, but he smiled at me, just like as if he was glad to see me, and I guess maybe he was at that. I was tickled to death, and I says to Flory, did you see that? And she says, see what? I says the baby smiled at me. Then she says, there is something to matter with his stomach. I says, I suppose because the baby smiles, that is a sign, there is something to matter with his stomach, and if he had the toothache he would laugh. She says, you think you're smart, but I am telling you that he was not smiling at all, but he was making a face because there is something to matter with his stomach. I says, I guess I know the difference if somebody is smiling and making a face. And she says, I guess you don't know nothing about babies because you never had none before. I says, how many of you had? And then she got sore and beat it out of the room. I did not care because I wanted to be in there alone with him, and see would he smile at me again. And sure enough, Al, he did. Then I called Allen in, and when the baby sees him, he began to cry. So you see, I was right and Flory was wrong. It don't take a man no time at all to get wise to these babies, and it don't take them long to know if a man is their father or their uncle. When he began to cry, I chased Allen out of the room and called Flory because she ought to know by this time how to make him stop crying. But she was still sore, and she says, Let him cry, or if you know so much about babies, make him stop yourself. I says, maybe he is sick. And she says, I was just telling you that he had a pain in his stomach, or he would not have made that face that you said was smiling at you. I says, do you think we should ought to call the doctor? But she says, No, if you call the doctor every time he has the stomach ache, you might just as well tell him he should bring his drunk along and stay here. She says, All babies have a colic, and there is not no use fussing about it, but come and get your breakfast. Well, Al, I did not enjoy my breakfast because the baby was crying all the time, and I know he probably wanted I should come in and visit with him. So I just ate the prunes and drunk a little coffee and did not wait for the rest of it. When I went back in our room and started talking to him, he started smiling again, and pretty soon he went to sleep. So you see Al, he was smiling and not making no face, and that was a whole lot of bunk about him having the colic. But I do not suppose I should ought to find fault with Florie for not knowing no better because she has not never had no babies before, but still in all I should think she ought to have learned something and now Al has woke up again and is crying, and I just about got time to fix him up and get him to sleep again, and then I will have to go to the ballpark because we got a postponed game to play with Detroit, and Callahan will probably want me to work though I pitched the next to the last game in New York, and would have gave them a good beating except for short dropping that ball at the plate. But I got it on these Detroit babies and when my name is announced to pitch I will get the ball out because I want them to hit the first ball and get the game over with quick so as I can get back here and take care of little Al. Your pal Jack PS Babies is great stuff Al and if I was you I would not wait no longer but would hurry up and adopt one somewhere. Chicago, Illinois August 15 Old pal What do you think Al? Tomorrow when we don't have no game scheduled but we have to practice in the AM because we have been going so rotten I had a hard time making him promise to come but he is coming and I bet he will be glad he come when he has come. I says to him in the clubhouse do you want to see a real baby and he says You're real enough for me boy I says no I am talking about babies but you was talking about ice cream soda or something I says no I want you to come over to the flat tomorrow and take a look at my kid and tell me what you think of him he says I can tell you what I think of him without taking no look at him I think he is out of luck I says what do you mean out of luck but he just laughed and would not say no more I asked him again would he come over to the flat and look at the baby he said troubles enough without that and kidded along for a while but finally he seen I was an earnest and then he says he would come if I would keep the misses out of the room while he was there because he says if she seen him she would probably be sorry she married me he was just joking and I did not take no exception to his remarks because Florie could not never fall for him after seeing me because he is not no big dropping man like I am and look at how old he is but I am glad he is coming because he will think more of me when he sees what a fine baby I got though he thinks a whole lot of me now because look what I done for the club and where would they be at if I had jumped to the federal like I once thought I would I will tell you what he says about little Al and I bet he will say he never see no prettier baby but even if he don't say nothing at all I will know he is kidding the Boston club comes here tomorrow and plays four days including the day after tomorrow when they is not no game so on account of the off day maybe I will work twice against them and if I do they will wish the ground set of burned down yours truly Jack Chicago Illinois August 17 Al well old pal what did I tell you about what I would do to that Boston club and now Al I have beat because yesterday was the first time I beat the Boston club this year but now I have beat all of them and most of them several times this should ought to have gave me a record of 16 wins and no defeats because the only games I lost was throwed away behind me but instead of that my record is 10 games win and 6 defeats and that don't include the games I finished up and helped the other boys win which is about 6 more altogether but what do I care about my record Al because I am not the kind of man that is always thinking about their record and playing for their record while I am satisfied if I give the club the best I got and if I win all okay and if I lose whose fault is it not mine Al I asked Callahan would he let me work against the Boston club again before they go away and he says oh yes I will have to because you are going to be better than anybody else on the club so you see Al I appreciate my work and from now on I will pitch in my regular turn and a whole lot oftener than that and probably Kamiski will see the stuff I am made from and will raise my salary next year even if he has got me signed for 3 years and for the same salary I am getting now but all that is not what I was going to tell you Al and what I was going to tell you was about Gleason coming to see the baby and what he thought about him I sent Florian Marie downtown and says I would take care of little Al and they was glad to go because Florie says she ought to buy some new shoes though I don't see what she wants of no new shoes when she is going to be tied up in the flat for a long time yet on account of the baby and nobody cares if she wears shoes in the flat or goes around in her bare feet but I was glad to get rid of the both of them for a while because little Al acts better when they is not no woman round and you can't blame them the baby was woke up when Gleason come in and I and him went right in the room where he was laying Gleason takes a look at him and says well that is a mighty fine baby and you must have bought him I says what do you mean and he says I don't believe he is your own baby because he looks humaner than most babies and I says why should not he look human and he says why should he then he goes to work and picks the baby right up and I was scared he would drop him because even I have not never picked him up though I am his father and would be scared of hurting him I says here don't pick him up and he says why not he says are you going to leave him on that bed the rest of his life I says no but you don't know how to handle him he says I have handled the bigger babies than him or else Callahan would not keep me then he starts patting the baby's head and I says here don't do that because he has got a soft spot in his head and you might hit it he says I thought he was your baby and I says well he is my baby and he says well then they can't be no soft spot in his head then he lays a little owl down because he seen I was an earnest and as soon as he lays him down then Gleason says see he don't want me to lay him down and I says maybe he has got a pain in his stomach and he says I would not be surprised because he just took a good look at his father but little owl did not act like as if he had a pain in his stomach and he kept sticking his finger in his mouth and crying and Gleason says he acts like as if he had a toothache I says how could he have a toothache when he has not got no teeth he says that is easy I have saw a lot of pictures complaining that their arm was sore when they did not have no arm well he asked me what was the baby's name and I told him Alan but that he was not named after my brother in law Alan and Gleason said I should hope not I should hope you would have better sense than to name him after a left-handed so you see Al he don't like them no better than I do I am going to make a hitter out of him so as he can join the White Sox and then maybe they will get a couple of runs once in a while he says if I was you I would let him pitch and then you won't have to give him no education besides he says he looks now like he would develop into a great spitter well I happen to look out for him and he says he looks now like he would develop into a great spitter well I happen to look out of the window and seen Florian Marie coming across Indiana Avenue and I told Gleason about it and you ought to have seen him run I asked him what was his hurry and he says it was in his contract that he was not to talk to no women but I know he was kidding because I already seen him talking to several of the players wives when they was on trips with us and they acted like as if they thought he was a regular comedian though they really is not something funny about what he says only it is easy to make women laugh when they have not got no grouch on about something well Al I am glad Gleason has sawed the baby and maybe he will fix it with Callahan so as I won't have to go to morning practice every a.m. because I should ought to be home taking care of little Al when Florian is washing the dishes or helping Marie round the house and besides why should I wear myself all out in practice because I don't need to practice pitching and I could hit as well as the rest of the men on our club if I never seen no practice after we get through with Boston Washington comes here and then we go to St. Louis and Cleveland and then come home and then go east again and after that we are pretty near through except the city series Callahan is not going to work me no more after I beat Boston again till it is this here Johnson's turn to pitch for Washington and I hope it is not his turn to work the first game of the series because then I would have gotten no rest between the last game against Boston and the first game against Washington but rest or no rest I will work against this here Johnson and show him up for giving me that trimming in Washington don't lucky stiff I wish I had a team like the athletics behind me and I would lose about one game every six years and then they would have to get all the best of it from these rotten umpires your pal Jack New York New York September 16 friend Al Al it is not no fun running around the country no more and I wish this damn trip was over so as I could go home and see how little Al is getting along because Flory has not wrote since we was in Philly which was the first stop on this trip I am as scared they is something to matter with a little fellow or else she would have wrote but then if they was something to matter with him she would send her a telegram or something and let me know so I guess they can't be nothing to matter with him still and all I don't see why she is not wrote when she knows or should ought to know that I would be worrying about the baby if I don't get no letter tomorrow I am going to send her a telegram and ask her what is the matter with him because I am positive she would have wrote if they was not something to matter with him the boys has been trying to get me to go out nights and see how little Al is not gave us no past and no show on this trip I guess probably he is sore and a count of the rotten way the club has been going but still he should not ought to be sore on me because I have win three out of my last four games and would have win the other if he had not started me against them with only one days rest and the athletics at that who a man should ought not to pitch against if he don't feel good I asked Alan if he had heard from Marie and he says yes I am going to send her a telegram tomorrow that is if I don't get no letter if there is something to matter with him I will ask Callahan to send me home and he won't want to do it neither because who else has he got that is a regular winner but if little Al is sick and Callahan won't let me go home I will go home anyway you know me Al yours truly Jack I am going to send her a telegram tomorrow that is if I don't get no letter if there is really Jack Boston Massachusetts September 24 Al I bet if Florie was a man she would be a left hander what do you think she done now Al I sent her a telegram from New York when I did not get no letter from her and she did not pay no attention to the telegram then when we got up here I sent her another telegram and it was not more than five minutes after I sent the second telegram till I got a letter from her and it said the baby was all okay but she had been so busy taking care of him that she had not had no time to write well when I got the letter I chased out to see if I could catch the boy who had took my telegram but he went already so I was spending 60 cents for nothing then what does Florie do but send me a telegram after she got my second telegram and tell me that little Al is all okay which I know all about then because I had just got her letter and she sent her telegram COD and I had to pay for it at this end because she had not paid for it and that was 60 cents more but I bet if I had knew what was in the telegram before I read it I would have told the boy to keep it and would not have gave him no 60 cents but how did I know if little Al might not have taken sick after Florie had wrote the letter I am going to write and ask her if she is trying to send us both to the poor house or telegrams I don't care nothing about the 60 cents but I like to see a woman use a little judgment though I guess that is impossible it is my turn to work today and tonight we start west but we have got to stop off at Cleveland on the way I have got a notion to ask Callahan to let me go right on through to shy if I went today and not stop off at no Cleveland but I guess they would not be no use because I have got that Cleveland club lick the minute I put on my glove so probably Callahan will want me with him though it don't make no difference if we win or lose now because we have not got no chance for the pen and one man can't win no pen and Al I don't care who he is your pal Jack Chicago Illinois October 2 friend Al well old pal I am all through to the city series and it is all fixed up that I am going to open a serious and pitch three of the games if necessary the club has went to Detroit to wind up the season and Callahan did not take me along but left me here with a couple other pitchers and Billy Sullivan and told me all I would have to do was go over to the park the next three days and warm up a little so as to keep in shape but I don't need to be in those shape to beat them cubs Al but it is a good thing that Alan was talking on a trip to Detroit or I guess I would have killed him he has not been going good and he has been acting and talking nasty to everybody because he can't win no games well the first night we was home after the trip little Al was having a bad night and was boiling pretty hard and they could not nobody in the flat get no sleep Flory says he was having a colic and I says why should he have the colic all the time when he did not drink nothing but milk she says she gets the milk did not agree with him and upset his stomach I says well he must take after his mother if his stomach is upset at every time he takes a drink because if he took after his father he could drink a whole lot and not never be affected she says you should ought to remember he has only got a little stomach and not a great big reservoir I says well if the milk don't agree with him why don't you give him something else she says yes I suppose I should ought to give him weenie worst or something Alan must have heard us talking because he hollered something and I did not hear what it was so I told him to say it over and he says give the little cross-eyed brat poison and we'd all be better off I says you better take poison yourself because maybe a rotten picture like you could get by in the league where you're going when you die and I says besides I would rather my baby was cross-eyed than to have him left-handed he says it is better for him that he is cross-eyed or else he might get a good look at you and then he would have to shoot himself I says is that so and he shut up little Al is not no more cross-eyed than you or I are Al and that was what made me sore because what right did Alan have to talk like that when he knowed he was lying well the next morning Alan nor I did not speak to each other and I seen he was sorry for the way he had talked and I was willing to fix things up because what is the use of staying sore no better but all of a sudden he says what are you going to pay me what you owe me I says what do you mean and he says you've been living here all summer and I've been paying all the bills I says did not you and Marie ask us to come here and stay with you and it would not cost us nothing he says yes but we did not be that was a life sentence you are getting more money than me and you don't never spend a nickel all I have to do is pay the rent and buy your food and it would take a billionaire or something to feed you then he says I would not make no holler about you grafting off of me if that brat would shut up nights and give somebody a chance to sleep I says you should ought to get all the sleep you need on the bench besides I says who done the grafting all last winter and without no invitation if he had said another word I was going to bust him Marie come in and he shut up the more I thought about what he said and him a rotten left-hander that it should ought to be hustling freight the more matter I got and if he had opened his head to me the last day or two before he went to Detroit I guess I would have finished him but Marie stuck pretty close to the both of us when we was together and I guess she knowed there was something in the air and did not want to see her husband get the worst of it though if he was my husband I would push him under a streetcar but Al I won't even stand for him saying that I am grafting off of him and I am Florie will get away from here and get a flat of her own as soon as the city series is over I would like to bring her and the kid down to Bedford for the winter but she won't listen to that I almost forgot Al to tell you to be sure and thank Bertha for the little dress she made for little Al I don't know if it will fit him or not because Florie has not yet tried it on him yet and she says she is going to use it for a dish rag but I guess she is just kidding I suppose you seen where Callahan took me out of that game down to Cleveland but it was not because I was not going good Al but it was because Callahan seen he was making a mistake wasting me on that bunch who almost any pitcher could beat they beat us that game at that but only by one run and it was not no fault of mine because I was taken out before they got the run your old pal Jack Chicago, Illinois October 4 friend Al well Al the club winds up to season at Detroit tomorrow and the series starts the day after tomorrow and I will be in there giving them a battle I wish I did not have nobody but the Cubs to pitch against all season and you bet I would have a record that would make Johnson and Matheson and some of them other swell heads look like a dirty deuce Florey and Marie has been having an argument about how could Florey go and see the city series games when there is not nobody here that can take care of the baby because Marie wants to go and see the games too even though there is not no more chance of Callahan starting Alan than a rabbit or something Florey and Marie says I should ought to hire a nurse to take care of little Al and Florey got pretty sore when I told her nothing doing because in the first place I can't afford to go nurse a salary and in the second place I would not trust no nurse to take care of the baby because how do I know the nurse is not nothing but a grafter or a dope fiend maybe and should ought not to be left with the baby of course Florey wants to see me pitch and a man can't blame her for that but I won't leave my baby with no nurse Al and Florey will have to stay home and I will tell her what I done when I get there I might have gave my consent to hiring a nurse at that if it had not been for the babies getting so sick last night when I was taking care of them while Florey and Marie and Alan was out to a show and if I had not been home there is no telling what would have happened it is a cinch that none of them bone head nurses would have knew what to do Alan must have been out of his head because right after supper he says he would take the two girls to a show I says alright go on and I will take care of the baby and Florey says do you think you can take care of him all okay and I says have I not taken care of him before already well she says I will leave him with you only don't run into him every time he cries I says why not and she says he calls it is good for him to cry I says you have not got no heart or you would not talk that way and she gives me the laugh but I let them get away with it because I am not picking no fights with girls and why should I bust this Alan when he don't know no better and has got no baby himself I did not want to do nothing that would stop him taking the girls to a show because it is time he spent a piece of money on somebody well they all went out and I went in on the bed and played with the baby I wish you could have saw him now because he is old enough now to do stunts and he smiled up at me and waved his arms and legs around and made a noise like as if he was trying to say paw I did not think Flory had gave him enough covers so I wrapped him up in some more and took a blanket off of the big bed and stuck it around him so as he could not kick his feet out and catch cold I thought once or twice he was going off to sleep but all of a sudden he began to cry and I seen there was something wrong with him I gave him some hot water and made him cry again and I thought maybe he was too cold yet so I took another blanket off of Alan's bed and wrapped that around him but he kept on crying and trying to kick inside the blankets and I seen then that he must have colic to something so pretty soon I went to the phone and called up our regular doctor and it took him pretty near an hour to get there and the baby boiling all the time and when he come he says there was nothing to matter except that the baby was too hot and told me to take all the blankets off of him and then soaked me $2 I had a notion to bust his jaw well pretty soon he beat it and then little Alan began crying again and kept getting worse and worse so finally I got scared and run down to the corner where another doctor is at and I brung him up to see what was the matter but he said he could not see nothing the matter but he did not charge me a cent so I thought he was not no robber like a regular doctor even if he was just as much of a boob the baby did not cry none while he was there but the minute he had went he started crying and bawling again and I seen they was not no use of fooling no longer so I looked around the house and found the medicine the doctor left for Alan when he had a stomach ache once and I give the baby a little of it in a spoon but I guess he did not like the taste because he hollered like an Indian and finally I could not stand it no longer so I called the second doctor back again and this time he seen that the baby was sick and asked me what I had gave it and I told him some stomach medicine and he said I was a fool and should not ought to have gave the baby nothing but while he was talking the baby stopped crying and went off to sleep so you see what I had done for him was the right thing to do and then doctors was both off for their nut this second doctor soaked me two dollars the second time though he had not did no more than when he was there the first time and charged me nothing but there is all a bunch of robbers out and I would just as leave trust to policemen right after the baby went to sleep Flory and Marie and Alan come home and I told Flory what had come off but instead of giving me credit she says if you want to kill him why don't you take an axe then Alan butts in and says why don't you take a ball and throw it at him then I got sore and says well if I did hit him with a ball I would kill him while if you was to throw that fast ball of yours at him and hit him in the head he would think the mosquitoes was biting him and brush them off but at that I says you could not hit him with a ball except you was aiming at something else I guess there was no comeback to that so him and Marie went to their room Alan should ought to know better than to try and get the best of me by this time and I would shut up anyway if I was him after getting sent home from Detroit with some of the rest of them when he only worked three innings up there and they had to take him out or play the rest of the game by electric lights I wish you could be here for the serious Al but you would have to stay at a hotel because we have not got no spare room and it would cost you a whole lot of money but you can watch the papers and you will see what I done yours truly Jack Chicago Illinois October 6 dear old pal probably before you get this letter you will have saw by the paper that we was licked in the first game and that I was taken out but the papers don't know what really come off so I am going to tell you and you can see for yourself if it was my fault I did not never have no more stuff in my life than when I was warming up and I seen the cubs looking over to our bench and shaking their heads like they know they did not have no chance O'Day was going to start Chaney who was their best bet and had him warming up but when he seen the smoke I had when I in shock was warming up he changed his mind because what was the use of using his best picture when I had all that stuff and it was a cinch that no club in the world could score a run off of me when I had all that stuff so he told a couple of others to warm up too and when my name was announced to pitch Chaney went and sat on the bench and this here left hander Pierce was announced for them well Al you will see by the paper or I sent the first three batters back to the bench to get a drink of water and all three of them good hitters bleach and good and this here sire that hits a whole lot of home runs but would not never hit one off of me if I was okay well we scored a couple in our half and the boys on the bench all says now you got enough to win easy because they won t ever score none off of you and they was right too because what chance did they have if this thing that I am going to tell you about had not have happened we goes along seven innings and only two of their men had got to first base one of them on a bad peg of weavers and the other one I walked because this blind evans don t know a ball from a strike we had not did no more scoring off of Pierce not because he had no stuff but because our club could not take a ball in their hands and hit it out of the infield well Al I did not tell you that before I come out to the park I kissed little Al and Flory goodbye and Marie says she was going to stay home too and keep Flory company and there was not no reason for Marie to come to the game anyway because they was not a chance in the world for Alan to do nothing but hit fungos well while I was doing all this here swell pitching and making them cubs look like a lot of rummies I was thinking about little Al and Flory and how glad they would be when I come home and told them what I had done though of course little Al is not only a little over three months of age and how could he appreciate what I had done but Flory would well Al when I come in to the bench after their half of the seventh I happen to look up to the press box to see if the reporters had gave Schultz a hit on that one weaver throwed away who do you think I seen in a box right alongside of the press box it was Flory and Marie and both of them clapping their hands and hollering with the rest of the bugs well old pal I was never so surprised in my life and it just took all the heart out of me what was they doing there and what had they did with the baby how did I know that little Al was not sick or maybe dead and bowling his head off to hear him I tried to catch Flory's eyes but she would not look at me I hollered her name and the bugs looked at me like as if I was crazy and I was too Al well I seen there was not no use of standing out there in front of the stand so I come into the bench and Alan was sitting there and I says did you know your wife and Flory was up there in the stands he says no and I says what are they doing here and he says what would they be doing there bending their stockings I felt like busting him and I guess he seen I was mad because he got up off of the bench and beat it down to the corner of the field where some of the others was getting warmed up though why should they have anybody warming up when I was going so good well Al I made up my mind that ball game or no ball game I was not going to have little Al left alone no longer I mean there was not no use of sending word to Flory to go home because they was a big crowd and it would take maybe 15 or 20 minutes for somebody to get up to where she was at so I says to Callahan you have got to take me out he says what is the matter is your arm gone I says no my arm is not gone but my baby is sick and home all alone he says where is your wife getting up there in the stand then he says how do you know your baby is sick and I says I don't know if he was sick or not but he has left home all alone he says why don't you send your wife home and I says I could not get word to her in time he says why do you have only got 2 minutes to go and now I am gone the game will be over in 10 minutes I says yes my baby might die and are you going to take me out or not he says get in there and pitch you yellow dog and if you don't I will take your share of the serious money away from you by this time our part of the inning was over and I had to go out there and pitch some more because he would not take me out and he has not got no heart Al well Al how could I pitch when I kept thinking maybe the baby was dying right now and maybe if I was home I could do something and instead of paying attention to what I was doing I was thinking about little Al and looking up there to where Florian Marie was sitting and before I knowed what come off they had the bases full and Callahan took me out well Al I run to the clubhouse and changed my clothes and beat it for home and I did not even hear what Callahan and Gleason says to me when I went by them but I found out after the game that Scott went in and finished up and they batted him pretty hard and it was like three to two when I got home the baby was crying but he was not all alone after all Al because they was a little girl about 14 years of age there watching him and Florian hired her to take care of him so as her and Marie could go and see the game but just think Al of leaving little Al with a girl 14 years of age that did not never have no babies of her own and what did she know about taking care of him Al you should ought to have heard me ball Florian when she got home and I bet she cried near enough to flood the basement we had it hot and heavy and the Alans butted in but I soon showed them where they was at and made them shut their mouth I had a good notion to go out and get a whole lot of drinks and was just going to put on my hat when the doorbell rung and there was kid Gleason I thought he would be sore and I was not going to stand for nothing but instead of bowling me out he come and shook hands with me and introduced himself to Florian and asked how was little Al well we all sat down and Gleason says the club was depending on me to win the series because I was in the best shape of all of the pictures and besides the cubs could never hit me when I was right and he was telling the truth too so he asked me if I would stand for the club hiring a trained nurse to stay with the baby the rest of the series so as Florie could go and see her husband win the series but I said no I would not stand for that and Florie's place was with the baby so Gleason and Florie goes out in the other room and talks a while and I guess he was persuading her to stay home because pretty soon they come back in the room and says it was all fixed up and I would not have to worry about little Al the rest of the series but could give the club the best I got and Gleason just left here a little while ago and I won't work tomorrow Al but I will work the day after and you will see what I can do when I don't have nothing to worry me your pal Jack Chicago Illinois October 8 old pal well old pal we got them two games to one now and the series is sure to be over in three more days because I can pitch two games in that time if necessary I shut them out today not to have had four hits but should ought to have had only two but Bodie don't cover no ground and two fly balls that he should ought to have eat up fell safe but I beat them anyway and Ben's beat them yesterday but why should he not beat them when the club made six runs for him all they made for me was three but all I needed was one because they could not hit me with a shovel when I come back to the bench after the fifth inning there was a note there for me it was a call park and it says that somebody just called up from the flat and says the baby was asleep and getting along flying so I felt good Al and I was better than ever in the sixth when I got home Flory and Marie was both there and asked me how did the game come out because I beat Alan home and I told them all about what I had done and I bet Flory was proud of me but I suppose Marie is a little jealous because how could she help it when Callahan is depending on me to win the series and her husband is wearing out the wood on the bench but why should she be sore when it is me that is winning the series for them and if it was not for me Alan and all the rest of them would get about $500 a piece instead of the winners share which is about $750 a piece Seacott is going to work tomorrow and if he is lucky maybe he can get away with the game and that will leave me to finish up the day after tomorrow if necessary I can go in tomorrow when they get to hitting Seacott and stop them and then come back the following day and beat them again where would this club be at Al if I had jumped to the federal yours truly Jack Chicago Illinois October 11 friend Al we done it again Al and I guess the Cubs will never want to play us again not so long as I am with the club they will know what we done and who done it but probably you could have guessed that Al without seeing no paper I got two more of them phone messages about the baby during the game and I guess that was what made me so good because I know Den and Flory was taking care of them but I could not help feeling sorry for Flory because she is a bug herself and it must have been pretty hard for her to stay away from the game especially when she knowed I was going to pitch to sacrifice her own pleasure for little Al Seacott was knocked out of the box the day before yesterday and then they give this here favor a good beating but I wish you could have saw what they done to Alan when Callahan sent him in after the game was gone already honest Al, if he had not been my brother in law I would have felt like laughing at him because it looked like as if they would have to call the fire department to put the side out they had Bodie and Collins hollering for help and with their tongue hanging out from running back to the fence anyway the serious is all over and I won't have nothing to do but stay home and play with little Al but I don't know yet where my home is going to be at because it is a cinch I won't stay with Alan no longer he has not come home since the game and I suppose he is out somewhere lapping up some beer and spending some of the winners share the money which he would not have had no chance to get in on if it had not been for me I will write and let you know my plans for the winter and I wish Flory would agree to come to Bedford but nothing doing Al and after her staying home and taking care of the baby instead of watching me pitch I can't be too hard on her but must leave her have her own way about something your pal Jack Chicago Illinois October 13 Al I am all through with Flory Al and I bet you when you hear about it you won't say it was not no fault of mine but no man living was any kind of man would act different from how I am acting if he had been deceived like I've been Al Flory and Marie was out to all them games and was not home taking care of the baby at all and it is not her fault that little Al is not dead and that he was not killed by the nurse they hired to take care of them while they went to the games when I thought they was home taking care of the baby and all them phone messages was just fakes and maybe the baby was sick all the time I was winning them games and boiling his head off instead of being asleep like they said he was Alan did not never come home at all the night before last and when he come in yesterday he was a sight and I says to him where have you been and he says I've been down to the YMCA but that is not none of your business I says yes you look like as if you've been to the YMCA and I know where you have been and you have been out lushing beer and he says suppose I have and what are you going to do about it and I says nothing but you should ought to be ashamed of yourself and leaving Marie here while you was out lapping up beer then he says did you not leave Flory home while you was getting away with them games you lucky stiff and I says yes Flory had to stay home and take care of the baby but Marie don't never have to stay home because where is your baby you have not got no baby he says I would not want no cross-eyed baby like Jordan then he says so you fake Flory stayed to home and took care of the baby do you and I says what do you mean and he says you better ask her so when Flory come in and heard us talking she busted out crying and then I found out what they put over on me it was a wonder Al that I did not take some of that cheap furniture them Alans got and busted over their heads Alan and Flory this is what they done Al the club give Flory $50 to stay home and take care of the baby and she said she would and she was to call up every so often and tell me the baby was all okay but this here Marie told her she was a sucker so she hired a nurse for part $50 and then her and Marie went to the games and beat it out quick after the games was over and come home in a taxi cab and chase the nurse out before I got home well Al when I found out what they done I grabbed my hat and goes out and got some drinks and I was so mad I did not know where I was at or what come off and I did not get home till this a.m. and they was all asleep and I've been asleep all day and when I woke up Marie and Alan was out but Flory and I have not spoke to each other and I won't never speak to her again but I now know what I am going to do Al and I'm going to take little Al and beat it out of here and she can sue me for a bill of divorce and I should not worry because I will have little Al and I will see that he is taken care of because I guess I can hire a nurse as well as they can and I will pick out a trained nurse that knows something maybe I and him and the nurse will come to bed for Al and I will write and tell you as soon as I make up my mind did you ever hear of a man getting a rotten ordeal Al and after what I done in a serious too your pal Jack Chicago Illinois October 17 old pal I and Flory has made it up Al but we are through with Marie and Alan and I and Flory and the baby is staying at a hotel here on Cottage Grove Avenue the same hotel we was at when we got married only of course they was only the two of us then and now Al I want to ask you a favor and that is for you to go and see old man cutting and tell him I want to renew the lease on the house for another year because I and Flory has decided to spend the winter in Bedford and she will want to stay there and take care of little Al while I am away on trips next summer and not staying no high price flat up here and maybe you and Bertha can help her around the house but I am not there I will tell you how we come to fix things up Al and you will see that I made her apologize to me and after this she will do what I tell her to and won't never try to put nothing over we was eating breakfast I and Flory and Marie Alan was still asleep yet because I guess he must have had a bad night and he was snoring so as you could hear him in the next street I was not saying nothing to nobody but pretty soon Flory says to Marie I don't think you and Alan should ought to kick on the baby crying when Alan snoring makes more noise than a whole wagon load of babies and Marie got sore and says I guess the man has got a right to snoring his own house and you and Jack has been grafting off of us long enough then Flory says what did Alan do to help win the series and get that $750 nothing but sit on the bench except when they was making him look like a sucker the one in him he pitched the trouble with you and Alan is you are jealous of what Jack has did and you know he will be a star up here in the big league when Alan is tending bar which is what he should ought to be doing because then he could get stewed for nothing Marie says take your brat and get out of the house and Flory says don't you worry because we would not stay here no longer if you hired us so Flory went in her room and I followed her in and she says let's pack up and get out then I says yes but we won't go nowhere together after what you done to me but you can go where you damn please and I and little Al will go to Bedford then she says you can't take the baby because he is mine and if you was to take him I would have you arrested for kidnapping besides she says what would you feed him and who would take care of him I says I would find somebody to take care of him and I would get him food from a restaurant she says he can't eat nothing but milk and I says well he has the colic all the time when he is eating milk and he would not be no worse off if he was eating watermelon well she says if you take him I would have you arrested and sue you for a bill of divorce for desertion then she says Jack you should not find no fault with me for going to them games because when a woman has a husband that can pitch like you can do you think she wants to stay home and not see her husband pitch when a lot of other women is cheering him and making her feel proud because she is his wife well Al as I said right along it was pretty hard on Flory to have to stay home and I could not hardly blame her for wanting to be out there where she could see what I had done so what was the use of arguing so I told her I would think it over and then I went out and I went and seen an attorney at law and asked him could I take little Al away and he says no I did not have no right to take him away from his mother and besides it would probably kill him to be taken away from her and then he soaked me ten dollars the robber then I went back and told Flory I would give her another chance and then her and I picked up and took little Al in a taxi cab over to this hotel we are through with the Alans Al and let me know right away if I can get that lease for another year because Flory has gave up and will go to Bedford or anywhere else with me now yours truly Jack Chicago Illinois October 18 friend Al hold pal never forget your kindness and this is to tell you that I and Flory accept your kind invitation to come and stay with you till we can find a house and I guess you won't regret it none because Flory will liven things up for Bertha and Bertha will be crazy about the baby because you should ought to see how cutie is now Al and not yet four months old but I bet he will be talking before we know it we are coming on the train that leaves here at noon Saturday Al and the train leaves here about twelve o'clock and I don't know what time it gets to Bedford but it leaves here at noon so we shall be there probably in time for supper I wish you would ask Ben Smith will he have a hack down to the depot to meet us but I won't pay no more than twenty five dollars and I should think he ought to be glad to take us from the depot to your house for nothing your pal Jack PS the train we are coming leaves here at noon Al and we'll probably get us there in time for a late supper and I wonder if Bertha would have spare ribs and crowd for supper you know me Al end of chapter five chapter six of you know me Al this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Rick Rodstrom you know me Al by Ring Lardner chapter six the busher beats it hence Chicago Illinois October 20 friend Al I guess maybe you will begin to think I don't never do what I am going to do and that I changed my mind the whole lot because I wrote and told you that I and Flory and little Al would be in Bedford today and here we are in shy yet on the day when I told you we would get to Bedford Bertha and you and the rest of the boys will be disappointed but Al I don't feel like as if I should ought to leave the White Sox in a hole and that is why I am here yet and I will tell you how it come off but in the first place I want to tell you that it won't make a difference of more than five or six or maybe seven days at least and we will be down there and see you and Bertha and the rest of the boys just as soon as the New York Giants and the White Sox leaves here and starts around the world and remember I told you to fix it up so as a hack would be down to the depot to meet us tonight and you won't get this letter in time to tell them not to send no hack so I suppose the hack will be there but maybe they will be somebody else that gets off of the train that will want to hack and then everything will be all okay but if there is not nobody else that wants to hack I will pay them half of what they was going to charge me if I had of came and wrote in to hack though I don't have to pay them nothing because I am not going to write in to hack but I want to do the right thing and besides I will want to hack at the depot when I do come so they will get a piece of money out of me anyway so I don't see where they got no kick coming even if I don't give them a nickel now I will tell you why I am still here and you will see where I am trying to do the right thing you know of course that the White Sox and the New York Giants was going to make a trip around the world and they've been after me for a long time to go along with them but I says no I would not leave Florian the Kid because that would not be fair and besides I would be paying rent and groceries for them somewhere and me not getting nothing out of it and besides I would probably be spending a whole lot of money on the trip because though the clubs pays all of our regular expenses they would be a whole lot of times when I felt like blowing myself and buying something to send home to the Mrs mine like you and Bertha so I turned them down and Callahan acted like he was sore at me but I don't care nothing for that because I got other people to think about and not Callahan and besides if I was to go along the fans in the towns where we play at would want to see me work and I would have to do a whole lot of pitching which I would not be getting nothing for it and it would not count in those standing because the games is to be just for fun and what good would it do me and besides Flory says I was not under no circumstances to go and of course I would go if I wanted to go no matter whatever she says but all in all I turned them down and says I would stay here all winter or rather I would not stay here but in Bedford then Callahan says all right but you know before we start on the trip the Giants in us is going to play a game right here in Shoei next Sunday the fans would be sore if they did not get no more chance to look at you so would you stay and pitch part of the game here and I says I would think it over and I come home to the hotel where we are staying at and ask Flory did she care if we did not go to Bedford for another week and she says no she did not care if we don't go for six years so I called Callahan up and says I would stay and he says that's my boy that's my boy and now the fans will have another treat so you see Al he appreciates what I've done and wants to give the fans fair treatment because this town is nuts over me after what I've done to them cubs but I could do it just the same to the athletics or anybody else if it would have been them instead of the cubs maybe we will leave here the AMF to the game that is Monday and I will let you know so as you can order another hack Alberta I hope she did not go to no extra trouble about getting ready for us and did not order no spare ribs and kraut but you can eat them up if she already got them and maybe she can order some more for us when we come but tell her it don't make no difference and not to go to no trouble because most anything she has is okay for Flory and I except of course we would not to make no meal off of sardines or something well Al I bet them New York Giants will wish to get home before they come for this here exhibition game because my arm feels great and I will show them where they would be at if they had to play ball in our league all the time though I suppose there is some pictures in our league that they would hit good against them if they can hit at all but not me you will see in the papers how I come out and I will write and tell you about it your pal Jack Chicago Illinois October 25th old pal I have not only got a little time but I have got some news for you and I know you would want to hear all about it so I am writing this letter and then I am going to catch the train I would be saying goodbye to little Al instead of writing this letter only Flory won't let me wake him up and he is asleep but maybe by the time I get this letter wrote he will be awake again and I can say goodbye to him I am going with the white socks and giants as far as San Francisco and Vancouver where they take the boat at but I am not going around the world with them but only just out to the coast to help them out because there is a couple of men going to join them out there and until them men join them they will be short of men and they got a whole lot of exhibition games to play before they get out there so I am going to help them out it all come off in the clubhouse after the game today and I will tell you how it come off but first I want to tell you about the game and honest out them giants is the luckiest team in the world and it is not no wonder they keep winning the pen and in that league because a club that has got their luck could win ball games without sending no team on the field at all but staying down to the hotel there was a big crowd out to the park so Callahan says to me I did not know if I was going to pitch here or not but the crowd is out here to see you so I will have to let you work so I warmed up but I know the minute I throwed the first ball warming up that I was not right and I says to Callahan I did not feel good but he says you won't need to feel good to beat this bunch because they heard a whole lot about you and you would have them beat if you just throwed your glove out there in the box so I went in and tried to pitch but my arm was so lame it pretty near killed me every ball I throwed and I bet if I was some other pitchers they would not never have tried to work with my arm so sore but I am not like some of them yellow dogs and quit because I would not disappoint the crowd or throw Callahan down when he wanted me to pitch and was depending on me you know me Al so I went in there but I did not have nothing and if them giants could have hit it all instead of like a lot of little girls they would have knocked down the fence because I was not myself at that they should not ought to have had if Weaver and them had not have begun kicking the ball around like it was a football or something well Al what with dropping fly balls and booting them around and this and that the giants was gave five runs in the first three innings and they should ought to have had just one run or maybe not that and that ball Merkel hit into the seats I was trying to waste it and a man that is a good hitter would not never have hit at it and he would not tell me in nine years when I was coming into the bench after the third inning this here smart Alec McGraw come past me from the third base coaching line and he says are you going on this trip and I says no I am not going on no trip and he says that's too bad because if you was going we would win a whole lot of games and I give them a hot come back and he did not say nothing and I went into the bench and Callahan says them giants is not such rotten hitters is they and I says no they hit pretty good when a man has got a sore arm against them and he says why did you not tell me your arm was sore and I says I did not want to disappoint no crowd that come out here to see me and he says well I guess you need not pitch no more because if I left you in there I would be watching you about 10 o'clock tonight and I says what do you mean and he did not say nothing more so I sit there a while and then went to the clubhouse well Ale after the game Callahan come into the clubhouse and I was still in there yet talking to the trainer and getting my arm rubbed and Callahan says are you getting your arm in shape for next year and I says no and he says I bet if you was feeling good you could make those giants look like a sucker and I says you know I could make them look like a sucker and he says well why don't you come along with us and you'll get another chance at them when you feel good and I says I would like to get another crack at them but I could not go away on no trip and leave the missus and the baby and then he says he would not ask me to make the whole trip around the world but he wished I would go out to the coast with them because they was hard up for pitchers and he says Mathewson of the Giants was not only going as far as the coast so if the Giants had dare star pitcher that far the White Sox should ought to have Darren and then some of the other boys coaxed me when I go so finally I says I would think it over and I went home and seen Florie and I says about three or four weeks and she says if you don't go will we start for Bedford right away and I says yes and then she says alright go ahead and go but if they was anything should happen to the baby while I was gone what would they do if I was not around to tell them what to do and I says call a doctor in but don't call no doctor if you don't have to they ought to know by this time what to do for the baby when he got sick and she says of course I know a little but not as much as you do because you know it all and I says no I don't know it all but I will tell you some things before I go and you should not ought to have no trouble so we fixed it up and her and little Al is to stay here in the hotel until I come back which will be about the 20th of November and then we will come down home and tell Bertha not to get too impatient and we will get there some time it is going to cost me 6 dollars a week at the hotel for a room for she and the baby besides their meals but the baby's meals don't cost nothing yet and Flory should not ought to be very hungry because we've been living good and besides she will get all she can eat when we come to Bedford and it won't cost me nothing for meals on the trip out to the coast I have not even had no time to look up where we play at but we stop off at a whole lot of places on the way and I will get a chance to make them giants look like a sucker before I get through and McGraw won't be so sorry I am not going to make the whole trip you will see by the papers what I've done to them before we get through and I will write as soon as we stop somewhere as long enough so as I can write and now I am going to say goodbye to little Al if he is awake or not awake and wake him up and say goodbye to him because even if he is not only five months old he is old enough to think a whole lot of me and why not I also got to say goodbye to Flory and fix it up with the hotel clerk about she and the baby staying here a while and catch the train you will hear from me soon old pal your pal Jack St. Joe, Mississippi October 29 friend Al we are on our way to the coast and they is quite a party of us though it is not no real white socks and giants at all but some players from off of both clubs and then some others that is from other clubs around the two leagues to fill up we got speaker from the Boston club and Crawford from the Detroit club and if we had them with us all the time Al I would not never lose a game because one or the other of them too is good for a couple of runs every game and that is all I need to win my games if I had a couple of runs or only one run and I would win all my games and would not never lose a game I did not pitch today and I guess the giants was glad of it because no matter what McGraw says he must have saw from watching me Sunday that I was a real pitcher though my arm was so sore I could not hardly raise it over my shoulder so no wonder I did not have no stuff but at that I could have beat his gang without no stuff if I had had some kind of decent support I will pitch against them maybe tomorrow or maybe someday soon and my arm is all ok again now so I will show them up and make them wish Callahan had left me to home some of the men has brung their wife along and besides that there is some other men and their wife that is not no ball players but are going along for the trip and some more will join the party out the coast before they get aboard the boat but of course I and Matthewson will drop out of the party then because why should I or him go around the world and throw our arms out pitching games that don't count no standing and that we don't get no money for pitching them outside of just our bare expenses the people in the towns we played at so far has all wanted to shake hands with Matthewson and I so I guess they know who was the real pitchers on these here two clubs no matter what them reporters says and the stars is always the men that the people wants to shake their hands with and make friends with them but Al does hear Matthewson pitch today and honest Al I don't see how he gets by and either the batters in the National League don't know nothing about hitting or else he is such an old man that they feel sorry for him and maybe when he was about 10 years younger than he is maybe then he had something and was a pretty fair pitcher but all he does now is stick the first ball right over with nothing on it and pray that they don't hit it out of the park if a pitcher like Key can get by in the National League and fool them batters there is nothing I would like better than to pitch in the National League and I bet I would not get scored on in two to three years I heard a whole lot about this here fade away that he is supposed to pitch and it is a ball that is throwed out between two fingers and falls in at a right hand batter and there is not nobody can't hit it but if he throwed one of them things today he done it while I was asleep and there was not no time when I was not wide awake and looking right at him and after the game was over I says to him where is that fade away I heard so much about and he says oh I did not have to use none of my regular stuff against your club and I says well you would have to use all you got if I was working against you and he says like you done Sunday I would have to do some pitching or they would never finish the game then I says about me having a sore arm Sunday and he says I wished I had a sore arm like your and a little sense with it and was your age and I would not never lose a game so you see Al he has heard about me and is jealous because he has not got my stuff but they can't everybody expect to have the stuff that I got this smart Alec McGraw was trying to kid me today and says why did not I make friends with Matthewson and let him learn me something about pitching and I says Matthewson could not learn me nothing and he says I guess that's right and I guess there is not nobody could learn you nothing about nothing and if you was to stay in the league 20 years probably you would not be no better than you are now so you see he had to admit that I am good so even if he has not saw me work when my arm was okay McGraw says to me tonight he says I wished you was going all the way and I says yes you do I says your club would look like a sucker after I had worked against them a few times and he says maybe that's right too because they would not know how to hit against a regular pitcher after that and he says but I don't care nothing about that but I wished you was going to make the whole trip so as we could have a good time he says we got Steve Evans and Doug Schaefer going along and they is both of them funny but I like to be around with boys that is funny and don't know nothing about it I says well I would go along only for my wife and baby and he says yes it would be pretty tough on your wife to have you away that long but still in all think how glad she would be to see you when you come back again and besides them dolls across the ocean will be pretty sore at I and Callahan if we tell them we left you to home I says do you suppose the people over there has heard about me and he says sure because they have wrote a lot of letters asking to be sure to bring you and Matthewson along then he says I guess Matthewson is not going so if you was to go and him left here to home there would be nothing to it you could have things all your own way and probably could marry the queen of Europe if you was not already married he was giving me the straight dope this time Al because he did not crack a smile and I wished I could go along but it would not be fair to Flory but still in all did not she leave me and beat it for Texas last winter and why should not I do the same thing to her I am not that kind of man you know me Al we play in Kansas City tomorrow and maybe I will work there because it is a big town and I have got to close now and write to Flory your old pal Jack Abilene, Texas November 4 Al well Al I guess you know by this time that I have worked against them two times since I wrote to you last time and I beat them both times and I will tell you how I know because after the game yesterday he wrote down to the place we dressed at a long time with me and all the way in the automobile he was after me to say I would go all the way around the world and finally it come out that he wants I should go along and pitch for his club and not pitch for the white socks he says his club is up against it for pitches because Matthewson is not going and all they got left is a man named and not got no experience and will see that is a left hander so he says I have talked it over with Callahan and he says if I could get you to go along it was all okay with him and you could pitch for us only I must not work you too hard because he is dependent on you to win the pen and for him next year I says did not none of the other white socks make no holler because maybe they might have the bad against me and he says yes Crawford in speaker says they would not make the trip if you was along and pitching against them but Callahan showed them where it would be good for them next year because if they hit against you all winter the pitches they hit against next year will look easy to them he was crazy to have me go along on the whole trip but of course out there is not no chance of me going on account of Florian little Al but you see McGraw has cut out his trying to kid me and is treating me now like a man should ought to be treated that has done what I done there was not no game here today on account of it raining and the people here was sore because they did not see no game but they all come around to look at us and says they must have some speeches from the most prominent man in the party so I and Camiskey and McGraw and Callahan and Matheson and Ted Sullivan that I guess is putting up the money for the trip made speeches and they clapped their hands harder when I was making my speech than when any one of the others was making their speech you did not know I was a speech maker did you Al and I did not know it neither until today but I guess there is not nothing I can do if I make up my mind and one of the boys says that I done just as well as Dummy Taylor could have I have not heard nothing from Florie but I guess she is too busy taking care of little Al to write no letters and I am not worrying none because she give me her word she would let me know was they something to matter yours truly Jack San Diego California November 9 friend Al Al sometimes I wished I was not married at all and if it was not for Florie and little Al I would go around the world on this here trip and I guess the boys in Bedford would not be jealous if I was to go around the world and see everything they is to be saw and some of the boys down home has not never been no farther away than Tera Hope and I don't mean you Al but some of the other boys but of course Al when a man has got a wife and a baby they is not no chance for him to go away on one of these here trips and leave them alone so they is not no use I should even think about it but I can't help thinking of the boys after me all the time to go Callahan was talking about it to me today and he says he know that if I was to pitch for the Giants on the trip his club would not have no chance of winning the most of the games on the trip but still and all he wished I would go along because he was scared the people over in Rome and Paris and Africa and them other countries would be awful sore if the two clubs come over there without bringing none of their star pitchers along he says we got Spaker and Crawford and Doyle and Tharp and some of them other real stars in all of the positions except Pitcher and it will make us look bad if you and Matthewson don't neither one of you come along I says what is the matter with Scott and Benz and this here left hander will see and he says there is not nothing to matter with none of them except they is not no real stars like you and Matthewson and if we can show them foreigners one or two of you we will feel like we was cheating them I says you would not want me to pitch my best against your club would you and he says oh no we would not want you to pitch your best or get yourself all wore out for next year but I would want you to let up enough so as we could make a run once in a while so the games would not be too unsighted I says today is not no use talking about it because I could not leave my wife and baby and he says why don't you write and ask your wife and tell her how it is and can you go I says no because she would make a big holler and besides of course I would go anyway if I wanted to go without no yes or no from her only I am not the kind of man that runs off and leaves his family and besides there is not nobody to leave her with because her and her sister Alan's wife has had a quarrel then Callahan says where is Alan now is he still in shy I says I don't know where he is at and I don't care where he is at because I am through with him then Callahan says I asked him would he go on the trip before the season was over but he says he could not and if I ignored where was he I would wire a telegram to him and ask him again I says what would you want him along for and he says because McGraw is sure you have pictures you know he says I would try and help him find one I says well you should ought not to have no trouble finding a man like Alan to go along because his wife probably would be glad to get rid of him then Callahan says well I wish you would get a hold of where Alan is at and let me know so I can wire him a telegram well Al I know where Alan is at all okay but I am not going to give his address to Callahan because McGraw has treated me all okay and why should I wish a man like Alan on him and besides I am not going to give Alan no chance to go around the world or nowhere else after the way he acted about I and Flurry having a room in his flat and asking me to pay for it when he give me an invitation to come there and stay until late now to cry into sour milk but I wish I had not never saw Flurry until next year and then I and her could get married just like we done last year only I don't know would I do it again or not but I guess I would on account of little Al your pal Jack San Francisco California November 14 old pal well old pal what do you know about me being back here in San Francisco man such a treat two years ago and then I was not nothing but a busher and now I am with a team that is going around the world and are crazy to have me go along only I can't because of my wife and baby Callahan wired a telegram to the reporters here from Los Angeles telling them I would pitch here and I guess they is going to be 20 or 25,000 out to the park and I will give them the best I got but what do you think Flurry has did Al her and the Alans has made it up their quarrel and his friends again and Marie told Flurry to write and tell me she was sorry we had that their argument and let bygones be bygones well Al it is all okay with me because I can't help not feeling sorry for Alan because I don't believe he will be in the league next year and I feel sorry for Marie too because it must be pretty tough on her to see how well her sister done and what a mistake she made when she went and fell for a left hander that could not fool a blind man with his curveball and if he was to hit a man in the head with his fast ball they would think their nose itched in Flurry's letter she says she thinks us and the Alans could find another flat like the one we had last winter and all live in it together instead of going to Bedford but I have wrote to her before I started writing this letter already and told her that her and I is going to Bedford and the Alans go where they feel like and they can go and stay on a boat on Michigan Lake winter if they want to but I and Flurry is coming to Bedford down to the bottom of her letter she says Alan wants to know if Callahan or McGraw is shy of pictures and maybe he would change his mind and go along on the trip well Al I did not ask either Callahan nor McGraw nothing about it because I know they was looking for a star and not for no left hander that could not break a pane of glass with his fast one so I wrote and told Flurry to tell Alan they was all filled up and would not have no room for no more men it is pretty near time to go out to the ballpark and I wish you could be here Al and hear them San Francisco fans go crazy when they hear my name announced a pitch I bet they wish they had have had me here this last year yours truly Jack Medford, Oregon November 16 friend Al well Al you know by this time that I did not pitch the whole game in San Francisco but I was not taken out because they was hitting me Al but because my arm went back on me all of a sudden and it was the change in the climate that done it to me and they could not hire me to try and pitch another game in San Francisco they was the biggest crowd there that I ever seen in San Francisco and I guess they must have been 40,000 people there and I wish you could have heard them yell when my name was announced a pitch but Al I would not never have went in there but for the crowd my arm felt like a wet rag or something and I know I would not have nothing and besides the people was packed in around the field and they had to have ground rules so when a man hit a fly ball it went into the crowd somewhere and was a two-bagger what them giants could do against me was pop my fastball up in the air and then the wind took hold of it and dropped it into the crowd the lucky stiffs Doyle hit three of them pop-ups into the crowd so when you see them three two-bays hits opposite his name and the score you will know there was not no real two-bays hits and the infielders would have catched them had it not have been for the wind this here Doyle takes an awful wallop in a ball but if I was right hanging a ball the way he done in San Francisco the catcher would already be throwing me back the ball about the time this here Doyle was swinging at it I can make him look like a sucker and I done it both in Kansas City and Bonham and if he will get up there and bad against me when I feel good and when they is not no wind blowing I will bet him a $25 suit of clothes that he can't foul one off of me well when Callahan seen how bad my arm was he says I guess I should ought to take it out and not run no chance of you getting killed in there and so I quit and Faber went in to finish it up because it don't make no difference if he hurts his arm or not but I guess McGraw knowed my arm was sore too because he did not try and kid me like he done that day in shy because he has saw enough of me since then to know I can make his club look rotten when I am okay but he is good on the train that night he come up and says to me well Jack we catched you off your stride today or you would have gave us a beaten and then he says what your arm needs is more work and you should ought to make the whole trip with us and then you would be in fine shape for next year but I says you can't get me to make no trip so you might as well not do no more talking and then he says well I am sorry and the girls over in Paris will be sorry too but I guess he was just joking about the last part of it well now we go to one more town in Oregon and then to Washington but of course it is not the same Washington we play at in the summer but this is the state Washington and have not got no big league club and the boys gets their boat in four more days and I will quit them and I will come straight back to shy and from there to Bedford your pal Jack Portland, Oregon November 17 I have just wrote a long letter to flurry but I feel like as if I should ought to write to you because I won't have no more chance for a long while that is I won't have no more chance to mail a letter because I will be on the pacific ocean and unless we should run past the boat the other way they would not be no chance of getting no letter mailed old pal I am going to make the whole trip clear around the world and back and so I won't see you this winter after all but when I do see you Al I will have a lot to tell you about my trip and besides I will write you a letter about it from every place we head in at I guess you will be surprised about me changing my mind and making the whole trip but there was not no way for me to get out of it and I will tell you how it all come off while we was still in that there Medford yesterday McGraw and Callaghan come up to me and says was they not no chance of me changing my mind about making the whole trip I says no they was not then Callaghan says well I don't know what we're going to do then and I says why and he says Kimisuke just got a letter from President Wilson to the United States and in the letter President Wilson says he got another letter from the King of Japan who says that they would not stand for the white socks and joints coming to Japan unless they brought all their stars along and President Wilson says they would have to take their stars along because he was scared if they did not take their stars along Japan would get mad at the United States and start a war and then where would we be at so Kimisuke wired a telegram to President Wilson and says Matthewson could not make the trip because he was so old but would everything be all okay if I was to go along and President Wilson wired a telegram back and says yes he had been talking to the priest from Japan and he says yes it would be all okay I asked him would they show me the letter from President Wilson because I thought maybe they might be kidding me and they says they could not show me the letter because when Kimisuke got the letter he got so mad that he tore it up well Al I finally says I did not want to break up their trip but I know Flory would not stand for letting me go so Callahan says alright I will wire a telegram to a friend of Moynih and Shoi and have him get a hold of Alan and send him out here and we will take him along and I says it is too late for Alan to get here in time and McGraw says no, there was a train that only took two days from Shai to wherever it was the boat is going to sail from because the train come around through Canada and it was downhill all the way and I says well if you will wire a telegram to my wife and fix things up with her I will go along with you but if she is going to make a holler it is all off so we all three went to the telegram office to gather and we wired Flory a telegram that must have cost two dollars but Callahan and McGraw paid for it out of their own pocket and Danny waited around a long time and the answer come back and the answer was longer than the telegram we wired and it says it would not make no difference to her but she did not know if the baby would make a holler but he was hollering most of the time anyway so that would not make no difference but if she let me go it was on condition that her and the Allens could get a flat together and stay in shy all winter and not go to no Bedford and hire a nurse to take care of the baby and if I would send her a check for the money I had in the bank so as she could put it in her name and draw it out when she needed well I says at first I would not stand for nothing like that but Callahan and McGraw showed me where I was making a mistake not going when I could see all them different countries and tell Florie about the trip when I come back and then in a year or two when the baby was a little older I could make another trip and take little Al and Florie along so I finally says okay I would go and we wires still another telegram to Florie and told her okay and then I sit down and wrote her a check for half the money I got in the bank and I got 500 all together there so I wrote the check for half of that $150 and mailed it to her and if she can't get along on that she would be an awful spend drift because I am not only going to be away until March you should ought to have heard the boys cheer when Callahan tells them I am going to make the whole trip but when he tells them I am going to pitch for the Giants and not for the White Sucks I bet Crawford and Speakers and them wished I was to stay home but it is just like Callahan says they bat against me all winter the pictures they bat against next seasons will look easy to them and you won't be surprised Al if Crawford and Speakers hits about 500 next year and if they hit good you will know why it is Steve Evans asked me was I all fixed up with clothes and I says no but I was going out and buy some clothes including a full dress suit of evening clothes and he says you don't need no full dress suit of evening clothes because you look funny enough without them this Evans is a great kidder Al and nobody never gets sore at the stuff he pulls something like Kid Gleason I wish Kid Gleason was going on the trip Al but I will tell him all about it when I come back well Al old pal I wished he was going along too and I bet we could have the time of our life but I will write to you right along Al and I will send to some postcards from the different places we head in at I will try and write you a letter on the boat and mail it as soon as we get to the first station which is either Japan or Yokohama I forget which goodbye Al and say goodbye to Bertha for me and tell her how sorry I and Florie is that we can't come to bed for this winter but we will spend all the rest of the winners there and her and Florie will have plenty of time to get acquainted goodbye old pal your pal Jack Seattle Washington November 18 Al well Al it is all off and I am not going on no trip around the world and back and I've been looking for Callahan or McGraw for the last half hour to tell them I have changed my mind and I'm not going to make no trip because it would not be fair to Florie and besides that I think I should ought to stay home and take care of little Al and not leave him to be taken care of by no train nurse because how do I know what she would do to him and I am not going to tell Florie nothing about it but I am going to take the train tomorrow night right back to shy and surprise her when I get there and I bet both her and little Al will be tickled to death to see me I suppose McGraw and Callahan will be sore at me for a while but when I tell them I want to do the right thing and not give I guess they will see where I am right we was to play two games here and I was to play one of them in the coma and the other here but it rained and so we did not play neither one and the people was pretty mad about it because I was announced to pitch and they figured probably this would be their only chance to see me in action and they made an awful holler but Kamiski says no they would not be no game because the field neither here nor in the coma was in shape for a game and he would not take no chance of me pitching and maybe slipping in the mud and straining myself and then where would the white socks be at next season so we've been laying around all the p.m. and I and Dutch Shaffer had a long talk together while some of the rest of the boys was out buying some clothes to take on the trip and now I bought a full dress suit of evening clothes at Portland yesterday and now I owe Callahan the money for them and I'm not going on no trip so probably I won't never get to wear them and it is just $45 thrown away but I would rather throw $45 away than go on a trip around the world and leave my family all winter well Al, I and Shaffer was talking together and he says well maybe this is the last time we will ever see the good old US and I says what do you mean and he says people that cross the Pacific Ocean most generally always has their ship wrecked and then they is not no more ever heard from them then he asked me was I a good swimmer and I says yes I had swam a good deal in the river and he says yes you have swam in your river but that is not nothing like swimming in the Pacific Ocean because when you swim in the Pacific Ocean you can't move your feet because if you move your feet the sharks come up to the top of the water and bites at them even if they did not bite your feet clean off their bite is poisoned and gives you the hydrophobia and when you get that you start barking like a dog and the water runs into your mouth and chokes you to death then he says of course if you can swim without using your feet you are all ok but there is very few that can do that and especially in the Pacific Ocean because they got to keep using their hands all the time they are the sword fish away so when you don't there use your feet and your hands is busy you got nothing left to swim with but your stomach muscles then he says you should ought to get along ok because your stomach muscles should ought to be strong from the exercises they get so I guess there is not no danger from a man like you but men like Wiltsie and Mike Donnan that is not hog fat like you is not got no chance then he says of course there have been times when the boats got across all ok and only a few lives lost but it don't often happen and the time the old Minneapolis Club made the trip the boat went down and only thing that was saved was the catchers protector that was full of air and could not do nothing else but float then he says maybe you would float too if you did not say nothing for a few days I asked them how far the man got to swim if something went wrong with the boat and he says oh not far because there is a whole lot of islands along the way that a man could swim to but they would not do a man no good to swim to these here islands because they don't have nothing to eat on them and a man would probably starve to death unless he happened to swim to the sandwich islands then he says by the time you have been out on the Pacific Ocean a few months you won't care if anything to eat or not I says why not and he says the Pacific Ocean is so rough that nothing can sit still not even the stuff you eat I asked them how long did it take to make the trip across if there was not no shipwreck and he says they should all to get across along in February if the weather was good I says well if we don't get there until February we won't have no time to train for next season and he says you won't need to do no training because this trip will take all the weight off of you and everything else you got then he says but you should not already be scared of getting seasick because there is one way you can get away from it and that is to eat nothing at all while you are on the boat and they tell me you won't eat hardly nothing anyway so you won't miss it then he says of course if we should have good luck and not get into no shipwreck and not get shot by one of them warships we will have a great time when we get across because all the girls in Europe and in places is nuts over ball players and especially stars I asked what did he mean saying we might get shot by one of them warships and he says well you would have to pass by Switzerland and the Switzerland warships was all the time shooting all over the ocean and of course they was not trying to hit nobody but they was as wild as most of them left handers and how could you tell what they was going to do next well Al after I got through talking to Schaefer I run into Jack Sheridan the umpire and I said I did not think I would go on no trip and I told him some of the things Schaefer was telling me and Sheridan says Schaefer was kidding me and they was not no danger at all and of course Al I did not believe half of what Schaefer was telling me and that has not got nothing to do with me changing my mind but I don't think it is not hardly fair for me to go away on a trip like that and leave Flory and the baby and suppose some of them things really did happen like Schaefer said though of course he was kidding me but if one of them was to happen they would not be nobody left to take care of Flory and little Al and I got a thousand dollar insurance policy but how do I know after I am dead if the insurance company comes across and gives my family the money well Al I will mail this letter and then try again and find McGraw and Callahan and then I will look up a timetable and see what train can I get to Schaefer I don't know yet when I will be in Bedford and maybe Flory has hired a flat already but the Alans can live in it by themselves and if Alans says anything about I paying for half of the rent I will bust his jaw your pal Jack Victoria Canada November 19 Dear old Al well old pal the boat goes tonight and I am going along and I would not be taking no time to write this letter only I wrote to you yesterday and says I was not going and you probably would be expecting to see me blow into Bedford in a few days and besides Al I got a whole lot of things to ask you to do for me if anything happens and I want to tell you how it come about that I changed my mind and I am going on the trip I am glad now that I did not write Flory no letter yesterday and tell her I was not going because now I would have to write her another letter and tell her I was going and she would be expecting to see me the day after she got the first letter and instead of seeing me she would get the second letter and not me at all I have already wrote her a goodbye letter today though and while I was writing it out I almost broke down and cried and especially when I thought about leaving Al so long and maybe when I see him again he won't be no baby no more or maybe something will have happened to him or that train nurse did something to him or maybe I won't never see him again no more because it is pretty near a cinch that something will either happen to I or him I would give almost anything I got Al to be back in shy with little Al and Flory and I wish he had not have never wired that telegram telling me I could make the trip and if something happens to me think how she will feel whenever she thinks about wiring me that telegram and she will feel almost like as if she was a murderer well Al after I had wrote you that letter yesterday I found Callahan and McGraw and I told them I have changed my mind and am not going on no trip Callahan says what's the matter and I says I don't think it would be fair for my wife and baby and Callahan says your wife says it would be all okay because I seen the telegram myself I says yes but she don't know how dangerous the trip is and he says who's been kidding you and I says they has not nobody been kidding me I says Dutch Schaefer told me a whole lot of stuff but I did not believe none of it and that has not got nothing to do with it I says I am not scared of nothing but suppose something should happen and then where would my wife and baby be at then Callahan says Schaefer has been giving you a whole lot of hot air and there is no more danger on this trip than there is in bed you've been in a whole lot more danger when you was pitching some of them days when you had a sore arm and you would be taking more chances of getting killed in shoy by one of them taxi cabs or the dog catcher than on the ocean and this here boat we are going on in is the umpires of Japan and it has went across the ocean a million times without nothing happening and they could not nothing happen to a boat that the New York Giants was riding on because they is too lucky then I says well I have made up my mind to not go on no trip and he says alright then I guess we might as well call the trip off and I says why and he says President Wilson says about Japan and they won't stand for us coming over there without you along and then McGraw says yes it looks like the trip was off because we don't want to take no chance of starting no war between Japan and the United States then Callahan says you will be in fine with Kamisuke if he has to call the trip off because you are scared of getting hit by a fish well Al we talked and argued for an hour or an hour and a half and some of the rest of the boys come round and took Callahan and McGraw's side and finally Callahan says it looked like as if they would have to postpone the trip a few days until he could get a hold of Alan or somebody and get them to take my place so finally I says I would go because I would not want to break up no trip after they made all their plans and some of the players wives was all ready to go and would be disappointed if they was not no trip so McGraw and Callahan says that's the way to talk and so I am going Al and we are leaving tonight and maybe this is the last letter you will ever get from me but if they does not nothing happen Al I will write to you a lot of letters and tell you all about the trip but you must be looking for no more letters for a while until we get to Japan where I can mail a letter and maybe it's likely as not to Japan here is the things I want to ask you to try and do Al and I am not asking you to do nothing if we get through the trip but if something happens and I should be drowned here is what I am asking you to do for me and that is to see that the insurance company don't skin Flory out of that $1000 policy and see that she also gets that other $250 out of the bank and find her some place down in Bedford to live to live down there because she can live there a whole lot cheaper than she can live in shy and besides I know Bertha would treat her right and help her out all she could also Al I want you and Bertha to help take care of little Al until he grows up big enough to take care of himself and if he looks like as if he was going to be left handed don't let him Al but make him use his right hand for everything well Al there is one good thing that is if I get drowned Flory won't have to buy no lot in no cemetery and hire no hearse well Al old pal you always been a good friend of mine and I always tried to be a good friend of your and if there was ever anything I done to you that was not okay remember by guns is by guns I want you to always think of me as your best old pal goodbye old pal your old pal Jack yes Al if they should not nothing happen and if he was to get across the ocean all okay I'm going to ask McGraw to let me work the first game against the White Sox in Japan because I should certainly ought to be right after giving my arm arrest and not doing nothing at all on the trip across and I bet if McGraw lets me work Crawford and Speaker will wish the boat had of sank you know me Al end of chapter 6 end of you know me Al by Rick Lardner recording by Rick Rodstrom Los Angeles California R-R-O-D-S-T-R-O-M at earthlink.net