 Stay tuned now for Robert Young starring in Father Knows Best which follows this listening reminder Tomorrow evening on the NBC radio network You'll enjoy the Bob Hope show as film star Tarone Power joins the program as special guest in an hilarious takeoff on a motion picture As well as guest Tarone Power the Bob Hope show will feature singing star Margaret Whiting and the music of Les Brown's band of renown Later tomorrow evening listen to the scintillating Phil Harris and Alice Faye show a riot of laughs from beginning to end Listen and laugh tomorrow evening when it's time for both the Bob Hope show and the Phil Harris Alice Faye show And now hear Father Knows Best on NBC Now listen to Father Knows Best transcribe starring Robert Young as father Field in another half hour visit with the folks in the white frame house on Maple Street sit back and enjoy life with the Anderson Kathy but Betty Margaret and Jim has the head of this typical American household again sets out to prove that Father Knows Best There was a good bit of excitement and no little dismay stirred up at the white frame house on Maple Street at noon today On the surface things seem fairly normal and peaceful About the only indication of anything out of the ordinary was expressed in a casual remark of Jim's as he entered the kitchen Like this Hello, honey What's the matter with bud with bud he's out in front leaning against the mailbox staring off into space Oh, I didn't even know he was home from school yet The strange thing is that he didn't budge an inch when I said lunch was probably ready That is strange Honey, would you fill the water glasses the pictures right there? Oh, yeah, okay? Usually when I mentioned the word food to bud I quickly jumped to one side so as not to get caught in a stampede Well, I wish he'd come in and eat everything's ready Betty Kathy Bud mumbled something about waiting for the mail carrier. I wonder what crazy thing he's sent in for this time Not much is going to cost me Betty Kathy lunch wouldn't be so bad if he didn't always have everything sent COD Sometimes I think COD stands for clobber old dad Oh and that reminds me I send your old leather chair out to be recovered, but it won't cost much You did what? Well, it was all sunken down in the middle. I spent 20 years getting that chair to fit me Now just one is getting nicely broken in broken down you mean it was a disgrace You'll have to tell me one thing though. You want it done in brown again, or would you like red leather this time? Well, it has to be done. I've always sort of liked the idea of red leather. Oh, that's good because that's what I told him to do Oh, you did As long as this is your chair. I want you to be happy with it Betty don't scream mother. I'm coming but don't fix much lunch for me. I'm getting so fat. I'm positively hello father ugly I Wish you wouldn't refer to me as father ugly What makes you think you're fat well my stars I've gone up from a hundred and eleven pounds to a hundred and thirteen horrors We'll have to widen the doorways so you can get through What's Kathy doing? Well, I can tell you but you'll never in the world believe it with her. I'd believe anything She's upstairs cleaning Bud's room for him cleaning Bud's room. I withdraw my statement She actually is I mean actually what's going on around here anyway, but turning down food Kathy cleaning his room strange things are happening She says Bud's paying her for it Now I've heard everything Maybe I should have stayed in town until things blow over Well, both of those children had better get in here and either they'll never make it back to school in time Kathy Oh, don't give me any of that salad mother the dressings fattening. Oh Piffle eat what's on your plate. I'm not running a restaurant Hurry up Kathy. Hello kitten. You sound pretty cheerful today. I ought to I'm getting rich. Well good. I'm glad we've got one wealthy member in this family How much is bud paying you all the bubblegum you can chew? No a dollar a week a dollar My gosh, he doesn't make a whole lot more than that himself What does that drugstore job pay him two three dollars a week? I don't know if you ask me He's missing a few of his marbles Well, I wish he'd come in before he misses his lunch to kitten Are you sure bud's paying you a dollar? Yep, pass the jelly Betty. You must know where the body's buried, huh? How did you talk bud into this dollar deal? I didn't talk him into it. It was his idea Are you sure? Uh-huh. He said he needed to keep out of a higher income tax bracket That he should worry about Betty, how about a cinnamon roll? Don't you realize that each one of those rolls is simply an utterly crammed full of carbohydrates? Really, I thought those were raisins Father please. Hey mom. What time does that darn mailman get here anyway? Maybe he's already been here and didn't leave anything could be a better sit down neat No, I'm not hungry. Just give me a couple of those rolls and some ham and potato salad and beans and jelly and stuff Poor kid hasn't got any appetite at all Where's my dollar bud? I can't give it to you yet. I'd like some milk, please I got your room all clean and I want my dollar You'll get it as soon as my money comes in as soon as what money comes in from the government Those watermelon pickles there. I'll try a couple from the government. No wonder. They can't get the budget balanced. I Want my dollar bud. Look shrimp if you don't pipe down. I won't let you talk on the tape recorder Tape re what tape recorder? Well, I haven't got it yet. I just sent in for it a couple of days ago Just a minute bud. How are you getting all this money? Exactly what kind of an arrangement do you have with the government? Well, you see Claude Masner and I I might have known Claude was mixed up in this some way Claude and I got to talking about income tax and Claude said that I have to start making out an income tax thing now That I'm working steady at the drugstore. I see You don't have to file an income tax return stupid. I'm working aren't I I've got income haven't I? What income those two or three dollars you get for burning toasted cheese sandwiches at the drugstore? Let's hear bud story. This intrigues me well I'll gladly listen to anyone who's got a system whereby the government pays you instead of you paying them Well, I just wish you'd brought this up before March 15th. I could have used it. Well the way I was my dollar will you pipe down turn blue Look sunny boy, this is going to be quite a shock to you But the income tax is something you have to pay not get Not the way Claude figures it. I may have been misjudging this boy Go on according to Claude. I ought to get a refund of a Well, wait a minute. I got the blank in my pocket here. I'd love to see it. It's kind of wrinkled up Where are we now? Oh? Oh, yeah, right here. I get a refund of $1,071 and 28 cents what I'm gonna raise my price to two dollars I told Claude I thought that was awful high, but he said as long as I have it coming. I might as well take it Just how did Claude arrive at that figure? Well, he just worked it out the regular way and a line six on line x and subtract line two and all that I know but exactly how did Claude get that figure? That's what I want to know. He ate too many starches You can save that for the Southmore spring follies Let's see that blank bud. Well Claude's got it all worked out. See here's drugstore income here $32.90 that includes tips. I see Claude says they can be rough on you if you cheat on your tips He's right Then here's that hundred dollar savings bond aunt Maddie gave me for Christmas. You put that under income Well, it came in What's this item here, bud lost from storm 298. Oh, that's my baseball med. I lost it in a storm Never did find that thing Anyway, my net income comes to a hundred and twenty eight dollars and twenty eight cents. See that yeah Now over here, I put myself down for an exemption and right here I put Kathy down as a dependent Kathy Oh boy, I'm a dependent. Don't I know it? Now then we turn back over here. How do you figure that you can claim Kathy as a dependent? Well, she's dependent on me for our salary. That's why I hired her It was Claude's idea I don't doubt that at all He pointed out that even though it cost me a little money. It was worth several hundred bucks to me in the long run I'm going to raise my price to three dollars. Don't start getting grabby. You're all drop years a dependent Then let's see now with two exemptions. That's $1,200. Yeah, that's the way Claude has it right there See and your net income is only a hundred and twenty eight seventy two Which leaves a difference of one thousand seventy one dollars and twenty eight cents Now you haven't figured any actual tax here. Well, of course not. I shouldn't have to pay tax on money. They owe me Well, no, I Guess you're right Do they send that money in cash for check? I don't know they've never sent me any Betty wouldn't you eat just a little something an apple or glass of milk? Oh, I haven't time now mother I've got to get back to school early this noon. I decided I'll settle for thirty five cents Look, I can't change it now. It'll fill my whole income tax off Well, how soon will I get it as soon as the mailman brings it? I'll go out and check them again. Wait a minute, bud There's a few things you ought to know about income tax and this is a good time to learn them Claude told me everything. Oh, sure in the first place Even if you were supposed to file a return, but I am supposed to know you're not you didn't make six hundred dollars I will when you add in my thousand dollar refund You can't count that But even if you were supposed to and even if it was correct, which it isn't what you couldn't get a refund without first sending it in But I did send it in in the second place. You can't list Kathy as a depend What did you say? You sent it in sure you actually sent it in Yeah, to the district director of internal revenue. Oh, no Isn't that the right place? Oh, bud bud, why don't you check with me before you do these things? Wouldn't it be funny if they sent in that refund This is no laughing matter Do you realize his name is the same as mine? Wait a minute. Did you sign it as bud Anderson? Of course not James C. Anderson Well, did you put the junior on? Oh Claude thought I ought to leave that off sounded too kiddish Oh Jim, what are you so worried about they can see that it's all a mistake Sure, but it's going to be a pretty suspicious looking kind of a mistake They'll get two returns from James C. Anderson both the same address both claiming Kathy is a dependent both claiming James Is an exemption and one of them asking for a thousand dollar refund Well, you can explain it all can't you sure but are they going to believe it? They're checking everything that looks the least bit suspicious now. Well, I think you're just making a mountain out of a mold skin Nothing will come of it. Oh No Gosh dad You don't think they'll throw me in jail to you. No, of course not but all the red tape I'll have to go through explaining this Kathy go see who that is. Okay Gosh, what am I gonna do when my tape recorder gets here? Just send it back and after this don't send in for any more things until you've got the money to pay for it Well, I thought I would have don't send in for anything until after you've checked with me I just hope I don't get arrested you won't bud. Well, that's what they get all the big gangsters on income tax Well, you're not a gangster. I hope Claude doesn't sue me Why should he sue you? I promised him ten dollars for making out my income tax Oh Ten dollars well sure you pay a man to do yours. Don't you? Well, yes, but how much do you pay him? 25 but you ought to get Claude and save 15 bucks Yes, kitten, there's a man here. He wants to see you see me. Who is it? I don't say he wanted to ask you something about your tax tax. Oh, no Margaret. He's here already Oops but bud bud come back here. Don't run down in that you a father knows best in just a moment One week from tonight all of Hollywood's most glamorous personalities will gather for the fabulous Academy Award presentations of the motion picture industry and NBC will be on hand to bring you a complete and exclusive report of the proceedings of the 26th annual Presentation of the Academy Awards. You'll hear Donald O'Connor as master of ceremonies of the presentations You'll hear the five nominated songs sung by your favorite singers You'll hear the acceptance speeches of the Oscar winners tuned to NBC next Thursday evening for the exclusive NBC broadcast of the Academy Awards Who will win the Oscars listen next Thursday on this NBC station and learn the answer to that question Well, it looks as though the long arm of the internal revenue department has found its way into the white frame house on Maple Street Right now James jr. Who filled out an income tax form in a fairly unorthodox manner has taken refuge in the basement While James senior prepares to go into the living room and talk to the man who has come to see him about his tax Like this well dear you can't keep the man waiting all night go in there and talk to him. I'm going I'm going I just want to Well organize my thoughts Make a good presentation of all this all you have to do is just tell the truth I know but in this case the truth just sounds like a flimsy alibi for a clumsy triad getting away with something Oh, it does not you're just building this up in your own mind. You haven't done anything wrong. I know that Margaret I know that But it's a funny thing. I almost feel like I have And I'm afraid I'm going to go in there acting suspicious Man City was in a hurry. Okay. Okay. Where's the copy of that income tax blank that bud sent in? I think bud took it down to the basement with him Well, would you get it for me? It might be a good idea to send bud in there, too One look at bud will explain this mix up quicker than anything All right, I'll get bud you go in there and start talking. Okay No, you wait there Well, how do you do sir? How do you do are you mr. Anderson? Uh, yes, I hate to bother you at lunchtime. Oh, that's all right perfectly. All right. Well, I know it's pretty hard to catch you fellas, so I Wasn't planning on running away. Oh, I know that what I meant was actually there's a simple explanation of this mr. Haggerty, and I think I have one of my cards here. Never mind. This whole thing is really a pretty funny story Oh Yes, you see a young friend of my son's Claude Missner Appointed himself as my son's personal business manager. Oh, yes Now then this brand is in about your tax. Well, that's what I'm coming to Oh, this Claude filled out the blank and the way he figured Well, wait, I can explain this better by showing you the blank. I've got a copy of it. I'll go get it Well, look mr. Anderson, don't worry. I'll be back. I'm not running away I know but I matter of fact. I want you to meet bud because actually he's more concerned with this than I am Oh, he is I thought you were the one. No, you see there are two James C. Anderson's junior and senior That's the whole trouble I'll I'll be right back. Well, all right, but I wish you'd hurry Oh, excuse me, I didn't know anyone was here. It's quite all right Does anyone know you're here? Oh, yes, I was just talking to mr. Anderson I didn't mean to make so much fuss. I just wanted to talk to someone about the chair. Oh You mean the leather chair we're having done over. Yes. I just wanted to know what kind of tax you want to decorate Yes, there were bronze headed ones on it before but I think brass would look better with a red leather Well, you'll have to ask father I could have phoned but I was in the neighborhood and I thought you could get a better idea if you could see the Tax yourself. Yes. Well, I'm sure father will be right. Oh, there's my purse Look, mr. I'm in a hurry. Would you give father these letters? They just came. Yes. All right. Thanks. Just loads. You're a doll Come on, but he's not going to arrest you. Are you sure of course? I'm sure Well, here we are mr. Haggerty. Sorry to have kept you waiting. Yes, uh-huh. This is my son James junior Oh, yes, so this is the young man who's going to get the chair, right? What? What's the matter with him? I'm I'm afraid your little joke was too much for him. What little joke? About the chair He's quite emotionally upset over this whole deal. Hmm. He must be an extremely delicate child Well, I wouldn't say that you should see him eat sometime Well now let's get this straight just which one of you is getting the chair Your wife told me it was your leather chair And then you said you wanted to call your son because he was more wait a minute. What did you say leather chair? Yes, certainly I'm not in the wrong house You're the one who's redoing our leather chair. Well, certainly who did you think I was? You'd be surprised Well, I'm sorry, this is gotten so complicated I merely dropped by to ask you whether you want it decorated with bronze or brass tanks Mr. Haggerty Excuse me for laughing, but we thought you were from the Bureau of Internal Revenue Internal revenue it's it's too long a story to explain but on account of you My son has probably holed up in the darkest corner of the basement believing. He's a fugitive from justice Very amusing. Well now how about it? Do you want bronze or brass? What's that do you want bronze or brass? Tax? Yeah, that'll be fine What will sure oh, you don't know what a relief this will be the bud Anything else you want to get straightened out about the chair, mr. Hacker? No No, I've got all the information I'm going to get I can see that Well fine nice to have met you Yes, oh Here's your mail your daughter handed it to me. Oh, fine. Thank you. Good. Bye, mr. Haggerty. Goodbye, mr. Anderson Margaret Margaret was that a good joke on us that wasn't an income tax man. That was the furniture man. Mr. Haggerty you mean yeah Well, I couldn't imagine what was going on in here bud shot out of here looking white as a ghost He called Claude on the phone and told him he'd better get out of town Where's bud now, I don't know he ran out the back door. I hope he hasn't gone out of town, too Look kitten, you'd better just write that off as a bad death, but he promised it to me Well, I'll pay it to you this time But after this don't make any more deals with bud unless you check with me first Would you like your room clean for a dollar? No, no, thanks. You can use me as a dependent I'd rather not hear any more about that The coast clear Huh? Oh hi bud. Come on in. I saw him leave. What happened? Do you think we've got a chance dad? Oh sure. I took care of that baby. I told him off, but good Of course, we might have to slip down to Mexico. They loathe for a few months Mexico He's just kidding you bud. That man was just here to see about recovering your father's leather chair Leather chair? Mm-hmm. Is that the chair he was talking about? That's all it was bud Shumpin catfish boy. What a relief What do you have there, Jim? It's a male. Huh? Oh, yeah, I guess Betty brought it in Let's see. Here's one for you bud from the Ajax mail order house Oh, that's about my tape recorder and this one is oh my gosh This is from the Internal Revenue Office, huh? I was just thinking you still don't have that little problem solved Dad, how far is it to Mexico? Before daddy goes anyplace, I want my money first Well, open the letter and see what it says Jim before you start building this up into another big thing Yeah, yeah, you're right What's it say dad? Well, where do I look? What's in your letter bud? Oh, I forgot to look Well, I'll be darned Well, what does the director of Internal Revenue say dear? What does he say? He says please send me COD one number 602 tape recorder What? Bud sent the order to them by mistake But but what about the income blank? I just got it back. I must have sent it to the Ajax mail order house Dear if I may quote the children this is sure a crazy mixed up house The Andersons will be back in just a moment again Let me remind you about the exclusive NBC radio broadcast of the Academy Awards next Thursday evening Your host will be motion picture star Richard Carlson and he'll describe this fabulous night of nights as the spectacle unfolds On stage in Hollywood the NBC microphones will pick up the voices of the stars all America loves as they present gold and Oscars to 25 winners and from New York and Philadelphia You'll hear the voices of winners who may be in those cities only once each year is so much talent gathered together for one Broadcast here the excitement tension and surprises of the Academy Awards ceremonies next Thursday evening on this same NBC station Well at last the hectic noon hour is over all the mistakes that were made finally Neutralized each other and the children are now on their way back to school and Jim is about to depart for the office Like this well, I can get back to work now and get a little rest Well, we certainly had a comedy of errors going full blast here I don't see how bud can get so many things mixed up so completely He must practice nights Well He's a boy. I don't know where he gets that ability Certainly not for me Well, I'd better be going. Oh, wait a minute dear that might be for you. I hope not Hello Yes, that's right. Oh Oh, I see Well, well just a minute. I'll ask him Dear this is about your tax telling to put the brass-headed ones in No, this is the internal revenue office. What? My gosh, what have I done now? They want you to drop by there and pay them some more money More money. Mm-hmm When you send in your return you apparently enclose that letter I asked you to mail to Aunt Matty Huh? They put a stamp on it so you owe them three cents When we'll be back with father knows best starring Robert young as Jim Anderson Father knows best is an NBC radio network production in cooperation with Cavalier enterprises in our cast were Ted Donaldson His bud Gene Vanderpile wrote a Williams Helen strome and parley bail Father knows best is based on characters created by Ed James written by Paul West and Roswell Rogers Directed by Arthur Jacobson and transcribed in Hollywood. This is Bill Foreman speaking Truth or consequences with Ralph Edwards on the NBC radio network