 The Jell-O program coming to you from Camp Callan, California, presented by Jell-O and Jell-O putting starring Jack Benny, with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Dennis Day, Rochester, and yours truly, Don Wilson. The orchestra opens the program with The Real American. Jell-O Friends is the word well known to dessert lovers everywhere. It's a trademark, the property of general food, and the name of America's favorite gelatin dessert. For years J-E-L-L-O has stood for Grand Dessert flavor, and today those big red letters on the box mean more flavor than ever, because now by means of a new Jell-O process, Jell-O's delightful goodness is made extra delicious. Nothing you know is more attractive than a big glistening mold of rich radiant Jell-O with its bright beauty and scintillating color, and you've never enjoyed anything more than you'll enjoy the swell tangy flavor of Jell-O. Jell-O's flavor is lively and refreshing as the juicy ripe fruit itself, and locked in for your added pleasure. Prove to yourself that Jell-O's flavor really is locked in. Open a package of Jell-O. Notice that there's no tell-tale aroma, no sign of escaping flavor. Then dissolve the Jell-O, and notice how Jell-O's captive flavor comes pouring out, gloriously rich, thrillingly good. Get Jell-O tomorrow, friends, and enjoy its extra rich, locked-in flavor. Ladies and gentlemen, from Camp Callan, California, we bring you a man who, in my opinion, is the greatest comedian in the world, which is also his opinion, Jack Benny. Thank you. Jell-O again, this is Jack Benny talking, and Don, that was a very nice introduction, but you didn't have to make such a ham out of me. I'm a great comedian. Let it go with that. Say. Well, Jack, you are a little hammy at times, but it's just my nature to be frank and outspoken. I see. Well, Don, one more introduction like that, and you're going to be outspoken on some other program. Oh. Oh. Oh. So, uh, so watch it. Oh, for heaven's sake, Jack, what's the matter with you? Can't you take a rib? Only if it's got meat on it. To hear, to hear you talk, Don, we're the only two people alive who think I'm clever. Oh, I don't mean that you're not clever, Jack. All I say is, in this great big country of ours, there must be some people who don't like you. Hmm. The man is obviously out of his head. Listen, Don, now, listen, I want to ask you something. Would you say that these 1,200 soldiers sitting here are a typical cross-section of the American people? Well, yes, but what's that got to do with it? Just this. I'm going to prove to you that there isn't one guy in this audience that doesn't think I'm great. All right, fellas, everybody here that likes me and hates the Japanese, raise your hand. Love me here. Thanks, fellas. I appreciate your loyalty. Now, wait a minute, Jack. All that question proves is that these boys don't like the Jacks. That's my analysis. Oh, you and your big fat analysis. I never, I never saw such a stubborn guy. Here we are at Old Camp Callan. All right, boys. Come on. Start yelling. Now, Mary. Now, listen to that. Thank you, boys, from Living Sun. Crestview 4, 6, 8, 8, 1. Mary, what's the idea of shouting out your telephone number in front of all these fellas? The shop ones will write it down. I don't care. You can put that silly poem away, too. I'll let you read it later. You better. Or I'll tell everybody what happened when you were in swimming at La Jolla this morning. I just, I just took my usual plunge in the surf. That's all. What happened to La Jolla, Mary? Well, Jack was out swimming when all of a sudden a big wave hit him and he started yelling, help, help. Oh, quiet. So a lifeguard went out, grabbed him by the hair and swam for sure. The lifeguard saved him, huh? Only his hair. Another guy had to go out for bending. Mary, it's nothing to joke about. I darn near got drowned. But Jack, a fellow who can't swim too well, shouldn't go so far out in the ocean. Oh, I'm a good swimmer, Don. This was one of those silly accidents that could happen to anybody. What do you mean? Well, I was paddling along and all of a sudden my left foot got caught in the right sleeve of my bathing suit. It was a terrible experience. Sleeves. Do you mean to say that it has sleeves? And that's another thing. Imagine being at a Ritzy beach like La Jolla. Never mind. And wearing a bathing suit that says, chew paw boy on it. Oh, don't pay any attention to her, Don. Now, Mary, you know darn well that bathing suit is plenty modern. Well, there's no cuffs on the pants if that's what you mean. I mean, it's got a two-way stretch and everything. Of course, the top piece is a little baggy there. Did that annoy you when you were in swimming? Not so much when I was in the ocean, Don. But when I took it off in the locker room, about four buckets of grunion fell out. A policeman told me I'd either have to get my suit fixed or a fishing license. The beach there is wonderful though. I imagine it is. By the way, Jack, where are you stopping? In La Jolla, I'm at the La Jolla Auto Court. It's a lovely place, Jack. That's not La Jolla. It's La Jolla. That's how you pronounce it in Spanish. Oh, oh, I didn't recognize it in print. I'm usually very good at Spanish. As a matter of fact, I used to go with a Spanish girl, Estralita Fink. Swell gal. Is that the one that used to duck baseballs at Ocean Park? She sold the baseball. Get it straight, will you? That's all she did. Say, Mr. Benny, I tried and I tried, but... Oh, hello, Dennis. Hello. Thank the boys, Dennis. Thank you, boys. Say, Mr. Benny, I tried and I tried. How, uh, how do you feel, kid? Oh, fine. Good. I thought I had dandruff yesterday, but it turned out to be rice from a wedding. From a wedding? Who got married? My girl. You didn't make me jealous. Well, don't, uh, don't fall for it. Not me. Say, Mr. Benny, I tried and I tried. Yes. But nobody wants to buy those grunnions you caught. I didn't, I didn't tell you to sell them. I told you to clean them. We're going to have a big fish fry tonight. I couldn't sell any tickets to that either. I made a fish fry for our own gang. Anyway, kid, the, uh, the boys here are all waiting to hear you sing, so how about it? All right. Say, where's Phil Harris? The maestro? I'll show up. I'll tell you, Jack, Phil's been in the clouds all week. Well, why not? He's a daddy. Just think, a seven pound baby girl. You know, when I was born, I weighed seven and a half pounds. You did? I weighed eight. I weighed almost nine pounds. Well, I weighed 43. He's not kidding, fellas, the stork that brought Wilson had to make a force landing. Sing, Dennis. The memory, the moment of love, haunts me far. Baby Lagoon sung by Dennis Day. Say, Dennis, while you were singing, I noticed something flopping around in your coat pocket. What is it? A grunion. A grunion? Yeah, I picked the best one out for a sample. Well, put it with the others, we're going to fry them. And now, ladies and gentlemen, you're not going to fry this one, we're pals. Folks, I've got a very important announcement to make. You'll have to save it, Jack. Look who's here. Well, the proud father. How are you, daddy? How are you, Jackson? Hello, fellas. Applaud yourself. Mr. and Mrs. Harris are the proud parents of a bouncing baby girl. Well, Phil, congratulations, but you know it's customary for a proud father to pass out. Oh, yes. Come on, fellas. Have a cigar. Here you are, Jackson. Well, a Corona Corona. Say, they're expensive. Have a cigar, Don. Thanks, Phil. Daddy, what? No, thanks. I too, plow boy. Oh, so nervous. Here you are, Dennis. Have a cigar. No, thank you. Hmm. Go ahead, kid. Take one. But I don't smoke, Mr. Benny. Hmm. Now, Dennis Day, you take that cigar. Oh, let the kid alone, Jackson. If you don't want a cigar, that's up to him. You stay out of it. Now, Dennis, are you going to take that Corona Corona or not? Okay, but you'll have to smoke it for me. All right. And now, ladies and gentlemen, Mary, stop staring at me. And now, ladies and gentlemen, as I, and now, ladies and gentlemen, as I started to announce, say, Jackson, I wasn't going to bring the baby down here to watch our program, but Alice wouldn't let me. Well, naturally, the child is only five days old. My goodness. What are you talking about? When I was five days old, I could lace my own shoes. Well, the reason I know that's a lie, Phil, is because you didn't wear shoes until the day after I hired you. You dragged your whole band over the floor shine. Remember? Oh, yeah. Took four salesmen to hold my guitar player down. That's right, but you can't blame Frankie. He thought they were going to brand them. And when they put the shoes on your piano player, he tried to gnaw his right foot off at the ankle. He thought he was caught in a trap. Thanks, Tuffy. What a bunch. And now, fellas, for that announcement I was going to make, it's a very important message about next season. So everybody pay attention. You too, Dennis. OK, hold my grunion. Put that back in your pocket. Now, get this, fellas. As you all know, next Sunday will be our last performance for Jell-O. And beginning October 4th, we will be on the air for a different product. Great Nuts Plates. Oh, that's a great prize. Yes, sir. It's for the same company. General Pooja will be on at the same time every Sunday night over the same network. And we'll have a lot of fun. Say, Jackson, I just happen to think of something. How are you going to identify yourself with this new product? What do you mean? Well, you always start off with Jell-O again. What are you going to do with Grape Nuts Plates? Yeah, that's right. Grape Nuts Plates. Gee, I can't say grape again. Or flakes again. Why don't you say nuts again? That wouldn't work, would it, Don? Don't ask me, Jack. You know, I'm pretty upset about leaving Jell-O. But, Don, folks will still be buying Jell-O, and there'll be another Jell-O program. We're just going on for another General Pooja product. Well, maybe you're right. I guess I'm just a little bit too sentimental. You certainly are. Now, you still have this week and next to talk about Jell-O. So go ahead. Okay. Ladies and gentlemen, the next time you go down to your neighborhood grocer, why not ask him for a package of tempting and appetizing Jell-O? It's not only economical and easy to make, but with its new locked-in flavor, you will find that Jell-O. Leave him alone, Jackson. The guy has the right to be legubrious. Legubrious. That means sad. I know it does, and you've got it right. Where'd you ever get hold of a word like that? My baby taught it to me. Don't stop with that. He's so proud of his child. Say, Dennis, you want to come out to the house and see the baby distort brought me? It's all the same to you. I'd like to see the stork. Who's waiting? I got to have a talk with that kid. Laughing or crying, let's have a band number and brighten up the atmosphere around here. Okay. Jellations, Phil, what is it? A boy or a girl? Seven-pound girl, Andy. Well, girls are all right, but don't get in a rut like Eddie Cantor. Say, Andy, you forgot to say hello to Don Wilson. Oh, yeah. Hello, Don. Glad to see you, Andy. You put on a little weight. The second time that gag was good, well, a little load of this pair, folks. They look like a couple of barrage balloons in civilian clothes. Fishing down at San Diego, and I thought I'd drop in and say hello. Oh, fishing, eh? Have any luck? No, didn't catch a thing. You should have had Jack's bathing suit on. Never mind. Say, Andy, how are your folks? Are they still Batman? Yeah, they're at it worse than ever. Pa came home with a snootful the other night and Ma knocked him cold with a welcome mat. Oh, Michael, what's your father ever learned to behave? Well, Buck, I figure it's the ever-ratchet gasoline in California. He'll straighten right out. Why, Andy, you don't mean to say your pa drinks gasoline? He's gotta. He swore off a liquor 10 years ago. What? He's working out at Lockheed as a blowtorch. That's the worst yet. Stick around, Andy. Phil's gonna play a band number. They will go out and have something to eat. Well, I'd love to, but I gotta go now. My girl's waiting for me out in the car. What? Your girl's outside alone with all these soldiers around? You're liable to lose her. Oh, no, I won't, Buck. I got her chained to the front bumper. Good to see Andy again. God, I should have sold him a bucket of grunion. Play, Phil. Musical meaning what the boys think they are. And diapers meaning I'm gonna change him. Not bad, eh, Phil? That's a fine way to talk after I went and named my baby after you. What? Same the kid after me? Certainly. Alice J. Harris. Jay is for Jacqueline. Jay for Jacqueline. After me. Jay for what? You heard him. Jacqueline. Well, thanks, Phil. That's quite an honor. And now, folks. Oh, Camp Callan. Oh, Camp Callan. Near La Jolla. Wait a minute. Wait a minute, Mary. If you insist on reading a poem about Camp Callan, do it right. What's the title of it? Can't you hear me, Callan Caroline? Well, I guess that's silly enough. Go ahead. Oh, Camp Callan. Oh, Camp Callan. Near La Jolla by the sea. Where Jack Benny goes and swims and catches fish for you and me. That's right. That's plenty for all. I met a soldier here last eve who had chevrons on his sleeve. He kissed me, and I must confess, if he's not a bugler, I miss my guest. Mary, do you have to kiss every soldier you meet? Well, I'm not stuck up like you are. What's that got to do with us? Go ahead. We went walking underneath the moon. I said to him, come on, let's boon. But he wouldn't even clench. You think I was an oozle-finch? Oozle-finch, what's that? A goofy-looking bird. It's the mascot of the Coast Artillery. Oh, oh, I see. Last verse. Good, good. Here's to the Coast Artillery. You defend us by the sea. If Jacks come near, you won't be nice because AK guns ain't filled with rice. You set him. Mary, that's one of the finest poems you've ever written. Thanks, Bob. Go on, go on. My daughter can write a better poem than that. Well, your daughter's only five days old. Well, I don't care. She's very talented, and when she grows up, she's gonna be a musician. Well, she'll be the first one in your family. And I'm not kidding. Since when ain't I a musician? Since any time. That's since when? At a boy, Jacqueline. Then take your grunyan out for a drink of water, will you? Ladies and gentlemen, as I said before, next Sunday will be the last broadcast of the season. So for this occasion, we have arranged a special... I'll take it. Hello? Hello, Mr. Benny, this is Rochester. I found out that's pronounced La Jolla. It turned out to be a Spanish word. Don't I should have known that. You? Never mind that. What did you call me about? I'm having a little trouble packing your bag, boss. What do you mean trouble? After I got all them. What, you put those grunyan in my brand new alligator bag? But boss, how... Only if they're alive. This alligator happens to be a suitcase. Well, just the same every time I snap it shut. Just take those fish out of that bag. Okay. Then get in the Maxwell. Come right over here to Camp Callum. But Mr. Benny, that's about a 12-mile trip, is it not? Yes. And it's uphill, is it not? Yes. Now, when will you be here? Boss has a mechanical and a military secret. Now you're going to be here before sundown. Goodbye. Goodbye. Oh, say, boss. Now what? I took your bathing suit down to the serve and missed it like you told me to. You did? This time... Oh, my goodness. What did you do with the jabs? They're in the suitcase with the gruny. Nice going, Rochester. So long. So long. I'll be out and turn my bathing suit over to the government. I think I will. Play, Phil. Think of spring and you think of strawberries. Think of strawberries and quick as a wink, your thoughts turn to strawberries and jello, one of the grandest of all desserts. Just try jello's new recipe, Fresh Strawberry Supreme and see if you don't agree. It's gloriously good and so simple to make. All you do is dissolve a package of jello imitation strawberry flavor in one pint of hot water. Chill until cold and syrupy. Then place in a bowl of cracked ice and whip with a rotary egg beater until fluffy. Next, fold in one half cup of heavy cream whip. Then arrange sweetened sliced strawberries and sherbet glasses and pile the whipped jello lightly on the berries. Chill and serve and you'll have one of the most delightful flavorful desserts you ever tasted. Rich, juicy red strawberries covered with a creamy topping of whipped strawberry jello. Order strawberry jello tomorrow and try this marvelous treat. And be sure when you buy to get genuine jello, because jello gives you the extra goodness of locked-in flavors. This is the last number of the 34th program in the current jello series and we will be with you again next Sunday night at the same time. Now I'd like to thank General Hardaway and Captain Westerfield and all the boys here at Camp Callan for a swell time and a thrilling visit. Hope we get a tune in next week, ladies and gentlemen, for our last broadcast of the season. I know I will. Good night, folks. Two facilities to our armed forces throughout the world. The presentation of this program from Camp Callan has been for the entertainment of the personnel facing here and is that constituted endorsement of our product by the War Department Art Personnel. Hey, have you tried those new jello puddings? They're made by the makers of jello and like jello, they're swell. Try jello butterscotch puddings. It's gloriously smooth. A rich, mellow pudding that simply tops for golden butterscotch flavor and so creamy and good. Jello puddings require no additional sugar to make. So tomorrow, when you order jello, order jello puddings too in all three flavors, chocolate, vanilla, and butterscotch. Jello puddings are just like grandmas, only more so. The program came to you from Camp Callan. This is the National Broadcasting Company.