 Hello, everyone. James Swanick here. And today I'm talking about my mental health challenges. I actually recorded this about three or four days ago as I was walking on the beach in Chengdu in Bali, Indonesia. And yeah, it's something I've been thinking about for a while, but have never really hit record on it until now. So I'm going to put it out there and see how people respond. During this episode, I talk about waking up in the morning feeling kind of like depressed at times. Talk about how I get out of that, including journaling. The Positive Shift Journal is a journal that I created with my partner, Juliana. Very recently, you can check it out at positiveshiftjournal.com. There's also a link in the description of this episode. If you look in the show notes there, there'll be a link where you can go and check out the Positive Shift Journal, which encourages you to write down things that you're grateful for in the morning. So it rewires your brain essentially and helps you get out of negative thinking and negative thoughts and feelings and move into a state of feeling happier. Yeah, some other stuff in the show notes as well. If you're struggling with alcohol and you feel ready to quit for at least 90 days, you don't have to quit forever, but I invite you to try quitting for 90 days with our support, then you can go to alcoholfreelifestyle.com forward slash schedule, where you can book a complimentary call with one of my coaches to see if our 90 day quit drinking program is for you. It's really for over 35, so if you're under 35, just digest my free resources, which are plastered all over the internet. I tend to do my best work with people who are professionals or entrepreneurs, people in their 30s, 40s, 50s and 60s, parents, husbands, wives, in that midlife phase where maybe you're drinking too much and you haven't been able to stop and you'd like to. If that's you and you want to have a chat and see whether we can help you, alcoholfreelifestyle.com forward slash schedule, the link is in the show notes. Also, I write a daily email. I was about to say I write a daily email every day, but that would be redundant, the everyday part. I write a daily email. If you want to get on the list, there's a link in the show notes. Again, alcoholfreelifestyle.com forward slash guide that will get you access to my daily email. Now, just a warning, that means 365 emails a year, one a day. I do make them very educational and informative, at least I hope I do. My name will show up in your inbox daily. If you don't want that, then don't do it. If you do want it and you think that reading it might help you curb your drinking habits or feel happier or just listen to my ramblings on life, then sign up to the guide and make sure that when you get the first email, it might go to your promotions or junk or spam folder, whatever they call it these days. Just got to move it over your inbox and white list it. I don't really know the technical way to do it, but there's some way that you can just say that the email from me, which will come from James at alcoholfreelifestyle.com, you give the two thumbs up to and that way you'll get the daily email instead of trying to find it in your spam or junk folders. All right. Also, if you are struggling with mental challenges, whether it's sadness, depression, anxiety, reach out to me. My email is James at alcoholfreelifestyle.com. I would love to support you, love to hear from you. Let's get into that to today's episode. This is a raw and a raw me, I guess, walking on the beach the other morning and talking about some of the mental health challenges that I have. All right, here we go. Hello from Bali, Indonesia. It is 8.24 in the morning. I'm walking along the beach in the beach side town of Chengdu. And today I want to talk about my mental health challenges. Before I get into this, I just want to be clear that my life is pretty damn good externally. In fact, it's terrific, terrific externally. And for the most part, it's also equally terrific internally except for those times when it's not. So I would probably say 70 to 80% of the time I feel very fulfilled. I feel good about my life. I have a positive outlook. And then for the remainder of that time, I find life challenging. I experience it to be challenging. I go into these doldrums where I get very sad and I compare myself to others. I have a lot of self-judgment. I beat myself up mentally for not doing certain things or not having achieved certain things. Or I go into regret. And when I'm in that, let's call it 20% of the 20% of my internal world, it's like I go into that kind of sad time. I don't really want to call it depressed because I think that would be unfair to people who experience real depression. I would describe it more as sadness and self-judgment. Yeah, but when I'm in that stage, man, it's like my shoulders slumped forward. I can't really do anything. I just get stuck in my mind, stuck in my brain. And I logically know how to get out of it, which is through meditation and through journaling and to try to switch off the brain and switch off trying to think things through and just start to feel a little bit more. And even though logically I know to do that, it's almost like I try to take a step and it's like someone's got a big rubber band around my waist pulling me back, preventing me from taking that step. And so therefore I just stay in the doldrums. Can you relate to any of this? It's kind of crazy because I was sitting in a massage parlor the other day because there's you can get lots of very cost effective massages here in Bali. Just to give you context, you can get a 60 minute full body back and shoulder and leg massage for the equivalent of seven American dollars. It might be $10 Australian for one hour. It's pretty terrific. And then you can get a foot massage for an hour for the same price. So I was actually getting a one hour foot massage a couple of weeks ago, which just feels terrific. Feels terrific in the body. It's supposed to be very relaxing most of the time it is. But on this particular day, I was getting this massage and I was deeply sad and my mind was switching from topic to topic. And each topic was why I wasn't good enough or why I was so stupid because I could compare myself to other people who I perceived to be not as stupid. And you know, all the self judgment kept coming up. And it was just crazy to me. I mean, logically, I was like, I'm in paradise. I mean, Bali is considered paradise and it is in many respects. It's wonderful. Getting a $7 foot massage. So literally another human being is kind of like bowing to my feet and working on my body. And my mind couldn't relax. My mind was just like, this is wrong. And this is wrong. And this is wrong. And this is wrong. And everyone else has figured it out. And you're the only one who hasn't figured it out. And it was such a startling time for me to realize that even though in my life I have incredible external freedom, I don't have internal freedom for big chunks of time. I feel I do most of the time, but that time when I don't have it, I'm like, oh, this sucks. So I get a glimpse of what it must feel like for someone, maybe you if you're listening, to go through extended periods of maybe depression, maybe deep sadness, maybe feeling misguided, maybe not feeling like you have a strategy or direction being unclear. And it's debilitating. It's draining, emotionally draining. My mind feels like in those moments that it's like a computer processor, for example, and it's overheating. You know, when you use a computer too much, you've got too many tabs open, you're trying to download something, you're watching a video, and then the computer starts to make a sound like the fan, the internal fan of the computer starts to turn on and makes the sound and you feel the body of the bottom of the computer and it's warm. Kind of feels like that in that moment when my thoughts are just going back and forth and back and forth and up and down and around and different different different topics, incredibly emotionally and physically draining. So if you experience even a glimpse of that, I get it. And I'm sorry. And I realized how challenging it is. And I want you to know that I get you. And I'm here for you. I support you. And if you ever want to reach out to me and let me know what's going on, I am here to listen. And because one of the things I found is that keeping it inside and not communicating what's going on extends the sadness, extends the depression, extends the feeling of helplessness. When I have finally got out of the doldrums or I just through pure will, I'm able to take an action to get me out, either through picking up my journal and writing things down or whether it's just moving my body, whether it's just quite frankly laying down and closing your eyes and trying to take a nap or whether it's walking on the beach or what I'm doing. I do feel better. I like to go back to the basics when something like that happens and the basics are good food, lots of water, movement, nature. So for me that means I try my best to eat as clean as I can. That means lean meats and vegetables. I'm not eating sugar or certainly not drinking alcohol obviously. Movement. So even though I may feel physically drained, I might just through willpower get myself into a gym and even if it's not a really amazing workout by my usually high standards, even if I just run on a treadmill for 10 minutes or I lift a few weights, that is often enough to get me out of that mental despair and into feeling a little better. And of course movement you'll get endorphins. Endorphins obviously like a natural happy drug you could say. I mentioned journaling before. Neuroscience shows that the act of writing down your thoughts and emotions on a piece of paper reduces feelings of depression and helplessness. Of course you may have heard me speak about the positive shift journal that I created for some of my clients which is now available to the general public and that has been specifically designed to help, first of all me quite frankly, selfishly me and then selflessly others to process their thoughts and emotions and get out of those delusions. So what else is there? That's what's that positive shift journal movement. Oh yeah, drinking lots of water. I mean a lot of times we're dehydrated. Most people are dehydrated anyway or maybe not dehydrated. They just don't have enough water in them. So I like to just drink copious amounts of water. Nature, that's right, nature getting out. Now I'm walking on the beach so I'm looking at ocean, I'm smelling ocean, the sea air. I deliberately am walking on the sand and bare feet. I don't have shoes on which means I'm connecting to the human resonance and the human resonance is an energetic pulse from the earth that makes us feel connected and makes us feel calm, helps us reduce stress and anxiety levels. So I'm walking on the beach at the moment but for you it might just be me going to the park. It might be just taking your shoes off and walking around your garden if you have one. And then the last thing is community. I mean it's definitely not the last thing but I guess the last major thing for me has been community and community means engaging in social activity. It means engaging in reaching out to a friend and saying hey I want to meet up, hey you want to get on a zoom call or a FaceTime and have a chat. Because I tell you when I go into my doldrums my natural inclination is to isolate and that for me, I mean of course there are times where removing yourself from social activities can actually be energizing for you. I mean introverts naturally feel drained when they're amongst big groups of people for extended periods of time and they need to withdraw and go and spend me time essentially and that is very healthy. However if you spend too much time in that isolation in that me time that's when you can start to feel cut off from society and that's when you have lots and lots of time to be stuck in your head and in your thoughts comparing yourself to others and beating yourself up and having self-judgment and that can be crippling mentally crippling. So I'm not inviting you to like all of a sudden be the most social butterfly in the entire world because for some people that can feel overwhelming and draining but just a simple act of reaching out to someone and telling them what you're feeling and just saying hey I'm not feeling so great can we can we talk can we chat and then just sharing just getting it out not even asking for advice and if you are the listener someone has asked you if they can share or talk about it I would also encourage you not to give advice unless they specifically ask for it because often the simple act of just listening in the self-development world they call it holding space if you can just hold space for that person to share that is often the greatest gift that you can give them in that moment yeah and the other thing is that you never know what is going on with people you just never know I mean many people have been very kind to say to me over the years wow you have such a wonderful life James what an incredible life you travel and you stay in these exotic places and you've got successful businesses and you seem very healthy and fit and it's so nice and I'm so appreciative to get that feedback and at the same time most people would not have a clue that my internal world is often not so great it's often it often feels challenged or challenging I can say you just never know have you ever known someone in your life or you thought wow that person has all of their stuff together they seem so happy and so wonderful and then something happens or you find out something or that person reveals something and then you go wow I had no clue it happens a lot you just do not know what is going on with people and a lot of people are very guarded I mean I know I'm I'm getting better at being less guarded I mean even talking about this topic here on this episode is me I guess practicing being more vulnerable and opening up a little bit more less guarded so there's a there's an element of fear or discomfort about revealing this but yeah people just you just never know what's going on with people seemingly happy people could be fighting an internal war an internal mental war in their brain that's leaving them drained and sad and depressed and unhappy and you just never know so you know I try to I try to be as nice and as open and as comforting and as loving and as powerful as I can be I haven't always been that way I think I'm getting well actually I know I'm getting incredibly better at it I'm getting a lot better at it in fact I have a three word mantra I am a powerful open loving man well that was more than three words but the three words that the adjectives I guess powerful open loving I'm a powerful open loving man and so when I am in situations sometimes I'm very quick to judge people I'm not sure if you can relate to this but I might meet someone and for whatever reason instinctively I am like oh I don't like this person I don't gel with this person this person's kind of not my vibe or and I start to judge them as if they're like unworthy of my attention or they're unworthy of my time or whatever or I don't want to really get to know this person and you know that's just in itself a defense mechanism that's my own ego talking maybe it's all maybe it's a lot of my vanity talking and what I've learned is that in many cases when I've just been open and loving and not judged a book by its cover often I can have truly incredible connections with people and realize that my initial thought generated from my ego was completely inaccurate so do you look your barista in the eye when you buy a coffee in the morning do you know what their name is do you say hello John hello Christie do you strike up a conversation with someone as you're walking along the beach do you ask their name and the next day when you bump into them have you remembered their name and said to them oh hi John or hi Vanessa how are you or do you when you ask for the person's name or they give you the person's name does it go in one ear and out the other because you haven't taken the time to just stand there and connect and to get to know someone and to be open to getting to know someone or have you had so much internal resistance that you wanted to just go on your way so these small little seemingly innocuous unimportant chance meetings that we have with people in our lives we can have we can leave incredible impressions on people we can lift them up or we can lift them down I call it elevator theory so any person you meet you either take them up in the elevator or you can take them down in the elevator so even though you might be also struggling with your internal world by inviting you and reminding myself to understand that lots of people are on the ground floor of the elevator and they need and they want and they're desperately crying to be taken up and sometimes to just go up in the elevator can be as simple as listening to someone touching base with someone hey how are you doing and sometimes they can be reaching out to someone and say hey I'm struggling my my internal world is feeling challenged right now and I know logically that it's ridiculous but emotionally physically I am struggling right now it takes courage it takes vulnerability and the growth is where you will feel the most resistance or the most resistance is where you will get the growth Marcus Aurelius the great Roman emperor who wrote the book meditations and as renowned as being the godfather I guess of stoicism the obstacle is the way you know the challenge the problem the struggle you have that's the way to overcome that in other words we can't avoid these things we have to move towards the things that are causing us the most resistance and in this moment I guess you could say what my small act is just recording this episode putting it out there seeing how I feel about talking about my own internal challenges because I have external freedom no question but I don't fully have internal freedom 75 80 percent of the time yes 20 25 percent of the time I'm in those old rooms so let me know what you think if you want to send me an email and let me know if any of this resonated with you or you want to just share with what's going on shoot me an email at James at alcoholfreelifestyle.com and I'd love to hear from you likewise you can send me a direct message on my instagram and at James Swanik and I would love to hear from you I'd love to support you as well if you feel like you want support I'm not assuming that everyone does of course there are many people who don't go through this or go through this very infrequently but whether it's frequent or whether it's infrequent reach out say hello I'd love to hear from you and love to support you anyway I can all right from the beach in Bali Indonesia I will catch you on the next one thanks again for listening to the show I want to load you up with some free stuff now there are some links in the description of this podcast episode including the free guide which you can download read process and go ahead and use yourself to successfully reduce or quit alcohol the process and system that I outline in that guide is the same process and system that I have my project 90 clients walk through so please do steal it have it use it and you can go to alcoholfreelifestyle.com forward slash guide or you can just click the link which I've left for you in the show notes section of this episode you may have heard me talk about project 90 if you would like to book a complimentary coaching core with one of my coaches to see where the project 90 is for you again there is a link in the show notes section you can click on that or you can go to alcoholfreelifestyle.com forward slash schedule or you can text me at the number 44222 if you're in the US of course it only works on a US mobile phone text me the word project 90 to that number 44222 and I'll text you back a link where you can schedule a core my supplement line swan vitality check it out at swan vitality.com I'll also put a link down in the show notes section I have a liver support product called loving liver take that and that will help heal your liver after years of alcohol consumption you also got a cool green supplement there and a magnesium which helps me to fall asleep at night helps me relax if you want to get my daily email you can do that just by grabbing the guide I write 365 emails a year which is a lot for some people but some people love to get it I talk about nutrition exercise health mindset just go to alcoholfreelifestyle.com forward slash guide lastly if you enjoyed this episode would you please leave a review it really does help us helps the show climb the rankings helps introduce the show to more people if this show has helped you in any way and you'd like to pay it forward I would so appreciate it if you would write a review right now because the best time to do anything is right now right thank you so much for listening and I will catch you on the next one