 Hello, I love welcome back to another reading vlog and today we're going to do a chill reading vlog for those of you that are here a lot. We are going to be spending the vlog reading the books that T-Rail Cluteau picked for me this month. So excited. So not all of them are going to be reading three that they picked for me. We're going to be reading the three that the super prompts picked for me. So a goal this year is to read more of the super prompts from TBR Cluteau. So these are the ones that aren't the little books that are on these spaces but they are the weapons that I can pick and I basically have not been using them enough. So it's a real goal for me to use them more and so I thought it would just be fun to do a dedicated vlog for the books that have been picked for me this month using the super Cluteau prompts and then we'll just integrate them into other videos but I thought this month it would be fun to do. So I will leave this month's January TBR Cluteau linked down below if you want you to go back and watch the whole experience you're a little bit crooked. Yeah if you wanted to go back and I feel like you're still crooked. If you wanted to go back and watch the whole experience because for some of these it wasn't experience okay. So first we have The Weight of Blood by Tiffany D. Jackson. This was picked by the magnifying glass which is recommended by the viewer. So I have my all my unread books video that I do every year. When I get the magnifying glass I have to go randomize the comments from that video and the first book that appears that someone loved I have to read. This is in the list with a few other books so if that does happen I do get to pick whatever book from the list I want to read but I'm a little bit nervous about this because me and Tiffany D. Jackson I have read two books from her and I gave them three stars and I think of 2.5. Tiffany D. Jackson's synopses excite me like no other. I get so excited for her books but then I'm seeming not to love them but I feel like I should get a five star I feel like if I don't give this like at least a 3.5 or a 4 I kind of have to stop reading D. Jackson. I don't know I just feel like it's not fair to her to keep picking up her books and reviewing them badly and rating them low so I really hope that we're gonna have success this one. I just know it's a carry retelling focusing on like racial inequality and injustice. Then we have The Echo Wife by Sarah Gailey. This was picked from the Rose Prompt which is if I get that I have to pick a book out of this jar that my patrons have chosen for me it's very full now and two of my patrons had picked this when I pulled it out it was either one of them we don't know who's it was but it was one of theirs. I don't really want to know much going into this I just know it's a very weird book and we are following a woman and her husband has left her for a younger better newer woman a woman that looks just like her. Okay. That's suspicious that's weird. It's pitched as Big Little Lives meets Black Mirror and I loved Big Little Lives when I read it so very intrigued about this. I don't I feel like I could fall on either side of loving or not liking this. And then finally we have The Dagger which is a random number generator I have to go to my TBR and pick a random number and the one it picked after a few attempts of picking books that were already on TV ugly day was The Cartographers by Peng Shepard. This one has had mixed reviews I know it's like magical realism-y and we're following a girl who her and her father were really renowned map makers and her father has been killed and she thinks it's to do with this particular map. I've heard not the best things about this but I'm really excited to see what I think and to give it a go. So those are the three books that we're going to be reading in this vlog and let's just get into it and see what we think of TBR Crudeau's picks. So I have started with The Weight of Blood by Tiffany D Jackson. I don't know what I said to you in the intro but this is me and Tiffany Jackson's last chance. That's quite dramatic. I just kept feeling like it's not fair on her really for me to keep reading her books if I keep writing them low. So this is my last chance. I have read the first 100 pages that we have got to the end of part one. I'm loving it. I'm really enjoying this. This is by far the best initial reaction I've ever had to a Tiffany D Jackson. Oh my god okay it's happening everybody sit calm. What's the procedure everyone? What's the procedure? Stay f***ing calm. This is a carry retelling but very much focused on kind of racial injustice and racial injustice and racism. So we know kind of from the beginning there's a podcast set I think about 10 years in the future from the events that we're reading about in the book and from the podcast we know that at the end of the book there's going to be a prom where most of the kids you know and everyone says that Maddie did it and then in the past we're following Maddie who at the beginning is trying to pass as white but then there's a rainstorm as she gets caught in her hair becomes like an afro. She had straightened it previously and everyone kind of finds out that she's black and she's bullied for it. I don't want to say much more because I think there's a few elements to this book that I didn't realize we're going to be in it and have been a pleasant shock so I don't want to say too much but I'm loving it. I'm really enjoying the audiobook so I think the audiobook is the way to read this. I'm debating just listening to the whole rest of it just via the audio. I'm gonna go cook dinner. Now it's my night I'm making an enchilada mix so I'm going to listen to the audiobook while I do that and then I have got reading sprints that are my patrons but I could just like play some games on my switch and listen to the audiobook in the sprints because I've read like I read probably the last 20 pages physically and audibly and I didn't quite enjoy it as much as just audibly. So we've got a podcast section I'm really enjoying. We've got like a full cast for this. It's really really good and then we're following different storylines. We're following Maddie's storyline. She's got a very strict racist essentially dad who's forced her to pass as white. We're following a black I think he's American football player in the school who kind of doesn't want to get involved in like race and stuff like that. He wants to focus on going to university and then we're following one of the girls who kind of bullied Maddie when it first was revealed that she was black and they were throwing pencils and into her hair and we're kind of following her grappling with she wasn't necessarily the ringleader of that but she did participate in it and think at the time it was funny and now she's kind of looking at what she did in a different light. The writing in it is really great. I think all the character voices are interesting are you know there's characters in this that you don't like but they don't almost feel like unrealistic you know as terrible as it is to say I've met people like this and not quite on the same time because obviously I live in England and I think this kind of like America South racism is like a different it's not something we necessarily have an equivalent of here but you know I've met people with along similar lines and it feels I feel like Tiffany Jackson is writing this from a place of not this isn't like something that I would wish for anyone but of experience and of living something similar I will say I have not read Carrie and I feel like there's probably a lot of direct parallels to Carrie all I know about Carrie I think is that there's like mixed media like news reports and stuff and I guess that's the function of the podcast is serving in this but I think I've heard people say that there's like real direct mirroring of some scenes and that is going over my head so there could be aspects of this that I really enjoy that are like I really enjoy because they were something that Carrie did did first and then this is kind of copying not that that's a bad thing but I just don't know where the references begin and end if that makes sense but I think this could be me and Tiffany Jackson's like our success story we're finally gonna be friends hello cuties how are we doing so I have to apologize to you I have to apologize okay I'm sorry I last activity when I was a hundred pages into the weight of blood and then my mental health she had an episode okay actually can't do the last time I was happy I literally can't tell you nothing bad but just the past few days I just had a bit of a dip where like I did not want to film I did not want to be on camera when I get like that I don't want to be perceived I don't want to be seen I don't I don't want to have to come on here and I don't know I don't think I'm very good acting like everything's okay but it's not I think you guys know by now a bit of an open book and I don't know when I'm in that mood I just don't make myself film it's my shirt okay good sometimes I put this on inside out when I film it's so embarrassing so yeah I just don't make myself film when I get like that and I was still okay to read and so I finish the weight of blood okay now what rating am I giving this drum roll please five stars I know Tiffany Jackson had a five star enough for me I knew it all along I just kept trying I kept searching all five stars I'm so happy so I actually listened to all of this I think via the audiobook I was really enjoying just the speed of the audiobook that I was listening to and I wasn't really physically I was just really enjoying consuming it that way so I addressed that myself play my switch game unpacking where you're unpacking a little house so cute yeah listen to all of this via the audiobook and I'm so glad I did that I think the audiobook is great I would recommend reading this via the audiobook like the podcast the sound effects I think all the narrators do such a wonderful job and I just loved it I thought it was great now I do just want to preface this review by saying I have not read Carrie I have not seen Carrie I have I know nothing about Carrie right and some of the reviews that I've read on Goodreads and seen people say from people who have read Carrie like it's a bit too close like it's a bit too like direct and adaptation and so when I in this there were moments I was like oh my god like gagged a little bit gagged by stuff I think my enjoyment is probably higher because I have not read Carrie I think people's enjoyment will probably be higher if they have not read or consumed the story of Carrie because I was kind of shocked at moments but obviously wouldn't be if you have read Carrie and what I thought this book did so well was just showing the different levels of racism that exist because I think I think something that people often say I mean in this book there's like outright terrible racists like evil human beings but there's also people a lot of people in this book that like would just say oh I have unconscious bias oh it's unconscious bias but unconscious bias is still racism right it's still racist it's still rooted in racist beliefs unconscious bias oh I have unconscious bias it's still racism right and I think this book did a good job of showing that and unpacking I guess the beliefs that people can have especially when they grow up in a small town like this it doesn't question biases and just allows them to fester and rot kind of the assumptions that people can have and I think I had a good job of having characters who were kind of like villains that we could just hate and then having other characters that like I feel like Tiffany D Jackson was kind of trying to get you to sympathize with or to connect to in a way but like I didn't want to I was kind of resisting that and I think that was an interesting play for her to kind of use but I really loved the way that this hopped between like perspectives like we'd be in a chapter but there'd be lots of different scenes in a chapter and lots of different perspectives I loved the podcast element I loved the full cast audiobook I thought it was incredibly well written I loved it I loved it I knew me and Tiffany D Jackson would be besties one day I kept trying this is my third guy and we've finally got a five star and also this was the first I think YA like set at high school like YA high school book that I've really loved in a while like at the last one I can think of it maybe cracked up to be by Courtney Summers like I haven't been having the best luck with like you know YA books set at high school I felt like the characters were really realistic for that kind of age Maddie our main character was a very interesting character because she's grown up so sheltered and given so much misinformation and I just thought I don't know I just really loved seeing her character develop so yeah I loved this the audiobook was perfect unpacking was great to play with it so yeah I'm so glad that I finally got around well it hasn't been out that long but I really wanted to get to this last year so I'm really glad that I finally got around to this I think next we will read The Echo Wife by Sarah Gailey I don't know if I'm gonna start it today I do have some patron reading sprints later it is Saturday today but I don't know if I might read other stuff I've got some like patron events I need to read so this will be the next book I'm starting for this vlog but I don't know if it'll be the next book I start in general but yeah I don't know what to think of this I know it's gonna be weird but um I've already really heard good things and it's pretty short and pictures big little eyes meets black mirror so it's made for me so hopefully we'll have good luck we are gonna go head out on a new walk today that we've never been on that's nearby so I'm very excited I love a new walk and I just got the audio book for The Echo Wife to try and make myself read it quicker because I'm not feeling super motivated I'm hoping the audiobook will help me because it usually does when I am like struggling to get into a book so I'm gonna try and read some of that in the car and I'll see you later I always am way more chaotic when I feel on my phone I'm like whoa halfway through The Echo Wife by Sarah Gailey you better f***ing take that back right now you better f***ing stop right now okay um I don't think you should know much going into this I didn't know much I don't think you should go know much just know her husband is left of this other woman who looks just like her and our girlie is perhaps a scientist who is renowned for cloning basically and I'm just bored I don't want to spoil much for you but like I don't think I'm really enjoying the narrative voice she's very like cold and hard and scientific but I feel like that I mean that's sort of a perspective I've enjoyed reading from before but it's without much like when I've read from it before it's like oh I'm this but I'm something else and I feel like we're not getting much nuance or variety to her character and here's the thing a lot of this book is she's reflecting on the way that our husband her ex-husband viewed her and the kind of perception he had on her and why that meant that he has this new wife and I just don't I don't like throwing us about husbands and wives it's pitched us big little lies and I liked big little lies because it was it was why it was like that mother's but I think I like reading about that more than like always talking about how she was perceived through his eyes and like bringing the male gaze into this yeah I want women I want women enough of this man women's stories matter yeah yeah they just matter I liked big little lies because it can't the husbands were kind of like irrelevant like it was all about the women and their relationships and like their interactions with each other and yes this is about the two wives kind of I don't want to spoil anything but like you know interactions I want to say but it's there's a lot about her through her ex-husband's eyes and how he viewed her and how that's left her here or like her her dad's eyes like the the way that he perceived her and I'm just not into the male gaze I don't want to hear about these men I don't want to hear about what they thought I don't hear that effect I'm bored I'm really bored I had to get the audiobook to make myself get through it I'm gonna edit what I've got in this video so far and then I'm gonna go ahead and finish this today and just like speed read it I'm really not enjoying it I don't know what to say I just think it's so boring and I also think you know it's about cloning her as a scientist she's known for cloning we're not really questioning whether cloning is a good idea I don't know perhaps subliminally we are but I think there's more nuance and conversation that we could open up about like cloning isn't the best and I feel like we're not questioning certain aspects of it or like what kind of person is that and like we are but I feel like it's surface level even it's if it's subliminal it's surface level we're not getting into the nitty gritty and it just makes me a bit like I'm just bored I don't want to say to you I'm really not enjoying it it's a short book so like it shouldn't have the time to leave me bored we should just go go go I feel like nothing's happened I'm really bored so I'm having to like make myself read it you know I have no inclination to read this I have to read it in order to get this video up that's the only reason I'm reading it so yeah I'm gonna go edit for a bit and then I'm gonna finish this book and hopefully I'll like it a bit more but I don't know if that's gonna happen hey so I just finished The Echo Wife by Sarah Gailey and I'm actually gonna end up giving us a three star I much preferred the second half particularly I would say oh am I gonna give it a three star it is teetering on 2.5 I'm not gonna lie to you but I'm feeling generous I feel like it the last 50-ish pages kind of got it a three I did like the ending of this I thought that we got into some more interesting questions I thought that particularly like the ending ending I thought where it left our main character was very interesting but I I doesn't check the fact I felt bored the whole time really it's the truth maybe not that last 50 pages but like other than that I was so bored I was thinking about it and I was thinking about how this felt to me like a book that was published in like 2018 it wasn't it was 2021 but it felt like a book that was published in 2018 and if I had read it in 2018 I would have loved it I would have thought oh my god this is the most like crazy thing amazing premise ever but I feel like you know a with the times you have to keep innovating and keep doing something new keep doing something fresh but also like I've become much more well read you know and particularly in like thrillers and stuff that it just felt about commonplace do you know I mean I never felt like I was doing something particularly exciting also don't think it helps that so much the book is in our protagonist head with her thinking over things and talking us through her inner feelings and just got a bit repetitive I just got a bit bored of it okay I also think it's a difficult book to discuss without spoilers like to discuss in depth without spoiler spoiling but I liked that left certain questions unanswered I do appreciate that um I'm trying to think and I think so say I don't know if I would rush to pick up another Sarah Gailey the writing just I don't know if it was my flavour and that's fine you know like not every book has to be for everyone as we know in this life I'm glad that I've read it but it was a slog for a 250 page book I'm probably not gonna think of this book much but that last 30 50 pages did enough to push it over into a three star so it is about six o'clock I think I'm gonna try and rouse myself to do yoga I've just been reading this in bed and I've gone way too comfy cozy so I'm gonna try and rouse myself I've been doing I've been doing yoga every day in January and I know I'm like tired now but I know I'll thank myself for it later because I'll fill so I love yoga particularly yoga with Adrian I've been doing yoga with Adrian on and off since I was probably 14 and I love her I think my mental health is like entirely dependent on Adrian I'm kidding but yeah I've got two instalments to do tonight because I missed yesterday's so I need to do that and have a bath and have dinner but then I'm gonna start the cartographers and I would really like to I'd like to finish this by tomorrow that's not happening all right so I would like to get at least a hundred pages in tonight and have a little little chat with you but we'll see we'll see how it goes one thing that's exciting me that I've noticed already is that there's like logs throughout and let me find a let me see if I can find an example yeah there's pictures of maps throughout which really excites me that's different I'm there's a cat hair in my eye the cats have been cuddling me a lot today which I'm very lucky for but oh my god they're fat I feel like I am I don't know if you can see I'm probably covered in it I didn't change my top before coming and speaking to you ah okay I'm gonna go I'm gonna try and rouse myself to do some yoga have my dinner have a bath and then I might see this evening or I might see you in the morning a hundred pages in I've also got the audiobook for this one and it looks like it is full cast in some way or does have multiple voice actors or the maps makes me excited okay I know this is gonna be iffy because it has been controversial but I'm excited to get into it I am a hundred pages into the cartographers I wanted to finish this today it is only half eight so I can get some good reading done this evening but I am not feeling super motivated to read it so so so so so our protagonist and her father are both cartographers they both love maps they both love looking into maps learning about maps but her dad and her had this massive argument about seven years ago where he like got her fired from the library that all the big cartographers worked at and she's been kind of blacklisted because of that and they've never spoken and then he dies he dies and in when she goes to the library to kind of go to see the police and stuff she finds in his briefcase the map that caused him to have this big argument that she found one day amongst other maps and that's why he like blew up at her and got her fired over this map it becomes clear that perhaps there's some people who want this map it is a very ordering map it's like a map of like some old gas station highway in america like it has it we can't understand yet why it's so important but it becomes clear that people are willing to kill for this map too much drama for me I do want to say a hundred pages in we don't yet like people have been listening this is fantasy magical realism that hasn't come into play yet it's all very much our world our world's rules at the moment and I'm just like where's this gonna go it's not bad I'm enjoying it but I don't feel connected to it I don't feel like inspired to read you know I'm just it's fine if I had to rate it now I'd say 3.5 you know that's my current enjoyment where when I'm reading it I'm like oh yeah good fun you know but but when I'm not I don't feel particularly yeah excited to read it I guess so I just I don't know I think what some people have not liked about this is the ending it doesn't really succeed with what it wants to do and I think this is gonna go off the rails a bit and go get a bit weird I'm excited that I'm finally reading it I just don't know if it's not what I necessarily want to be reading at the moment or if I'm making myself read because I really want to get this video done and move on with my life because this video for some reason has been really delayed I don't really understand why or if it's just not grabbing me you know I don't know and the audiobook is fine the audiobook isn't making me get through it any quicker so anyway I'm gonna try and chill out this evening and I guess we'll just see what happens we'll just see how it goes hello hello apologies if I look a bit rough it's the end of the day if you're a One Direction fan back in the day that it's gonna give you wall flashbacks I'm on page 270 of the cartographers Miko I just sat down can you don't wait like two minutes for me to let you out Miko Miko whenever the door shut he acts as if he's never gonna escape he's like let me out come say hi yeah me and Miko have been having so many cuddles lately but he doesn't like cuddles if he's not in the mood if he doesn't instigate them he says no way Jose right shall I let you out before I start talking come on then apologies if you hear noises from downstairs I've left a gap oh he's now rubbing up on the tripod oh yeah we love the tripod so much my dad's watching a video downstairs so apologies if you can hear the noise but he couldn't decide to leave or not and he loves the tripod so much yeah but you know unlike being on camera huh you say that's not a mad jab cut the cameras anyway yeah I'm on page 270 of the cartographers and I keep oscillating between being really interested and like interested in the concept and what's going on and what's happening and then being really bored I actually felt the last section hi I'm just gonna get distracted by your beauty I actually feel like the last section was pretty good I've really enjoyed I've just been making Shepard's pie and I've really been enjoying the last section oh we love the book yeah I keep going between the two I think the pacing hasn't been the best right I think the pacing the little work and I think it's waited too long to get into the fantastical element of the book I feel like I don't know I feel like there was a section a good maybe 80 pages where that needed to come into play for the book to be more interesting it just kind of has which it's quite a late stage in the book and this whole other storyline is kind of happening that wasn't happening at the start but you know I love I do love the kind of map studying setting like they're at the the public library this is described as like ornate and detailed and like it reminds me of how I loved babble and the study of linguistics I think I love reading about like people who are scholars who are passionate about their area of study like I just think that's something I do really enjoy I don't think the writing is incredible but I don't dislike it but I'm not I'm sitting here right now I'm not looking forward to reading it but when I'm reading it I'm like okay yeah fine you know but I'm not like oh I can't wait to read it I am gonna read it tonight I'm gonna finish it tonight because I'm a determined woman and this video has to finally go up I was supposed to go up on Sunday I'm not supposed to go up on Tuesday now it's hopefully going up on Thursday this cannot this vlog I don't know what's happened like my life has fallen apart a little bit in the past couple of days but that's kind of my prevailing feelings on it is that yeah it's enjoyable I have a lot of things like I think it's fairly obvious what's going on and all the reviews that are negative don't like the ending so I'm intrigued to see where I fall on that line but I would say I'm enjoying it like I'm not hating it yeah I think the ending is either going to be the kind of ending that I love and everyone else hates or I hate because everyone else hates I don't know but I will see you probably in the morning with my final thoughts do we want to do this or should we just like cut the video here and pretend that this hasn't happened no okay right let's talk about it I finished the cartographers I feel like you're very close in to me oh that's even closer I finished the cartographers and I'm giving it a 2.5 oh no this has now gone downhill and that's like a very conflicted 2.5 because there's a thing there's elements of this that I love like I keep saying this I kept going back and forth between loving it and being so incredibly bored I don't know what the next book I'm reading yet is I might be unwrapping it today and finding out wink wink for what's coming next week I need the next book I read to not be one that bores me like the last two books they haven't necessarily been bad but I have not felt excited to read that's all I ask for is I want to feel excited to read you know a book doesn't have to be good for me to be excited to read it I can be like hate reading a book survives nights always my top example but like at least get me feeling something the ending to this just wasn't it wasn't good so to be honest I have like almost zero understanding of what actually happened at the ending of this like what actually was the resolution I just feel like the book the pacing was not good right we'd go through moments where like oh great I'm finally so excited to read I have to not happen and then we'd like go on these long guess what dual timeline stories and it will be ruined the ending it was incredibly obvious once you got to a certain point you're like hang on I'm connecting the dots here and it's pretty obvious what's about to happen and who's going to be the bad person here you know and the like resolution just like makes the whole rest of the book feel pointless to me right and if you want me to care about the characters and like what all these different characters have gone through and the pain and the trauma and the tragedy tragedy tragedy yeah if you want me to care about that don't make the ending something that just makes that all a waste I also think it's forgettable I don't think I'm gonna remember much of it but like I said that it's a conflicting review it's a conflicting rating because there were elements that I loved I love the scholarly vibes there were moments where a plot twist happened or we were given some information I was so into it I was like yeah let's go and then I was like oh they're feeling quickly dissipated it was a rollercoaster me in this book in this vlog of what TBR Kudo picked we had one roaring success I am so happy that I finally got round two and then we had two pretty disappointing books I mean it was like a three star but I was bored these are boring these are boring I'm just really hoping whatever book I have to read next is always exciting it gets me going you know so that's it for the vlog this vlog has been going on forever for no reason by the way I've had the weirdest week in terms of like productivity and like getting some I don't even know what's happened to me it's been a weird week okay so thank you for watching it I'm glad it's done I'm gonna go edit these last few clips and then it's out of my life and I'm pretending this vlog never existed because for some reason it was very painful I feel like I'm getting ill and it's all this vlog's fault no um if you got into the end of the video what should we comment comment the map emoji or like the push pin like the location push pin emoji comment any of them down below thank you guys for watching we will see if we ever trust TBR Kudo again and I hope you have a good rest of your day bye