 Is Maxwell House really the only coffee in the world? Well, your father says so, and your father knows best. Yes, it's Father Knows Best, transcribed in Hollywood, starring Robert Young as father. A half hour visit with your neighbor, the Andersons, brought to you by America's favorite coffee, Maxwell House. The coffee that's always good to the last drop. Since the dark beginnings of time, superstition has played a dismal part in the fumbling progress of man. We, however, live in an enlightened age, and, thank goodness, we've thrown off the yoke of ignorant superstition. Well, I mean, knocking on wood isn't really a superstition. You do it just because? Well, anyway, in Springfield, in the White Frame House on Maple Street, we find Jim Andersen packing for a trip to Chicago. And for a change, everything is peaceful and quiet. Like this? Jim, it certainly won't hurt to take him along. Margaret, I'm only going to be gone three days. How many pairs of socks do you think I can wear? Well, you never can tell, dear, and it's best to be on the safe side. 12 pairs of socks? Anybody think I was going to Alaska for the entire winter? Jim, they weigh practically nothing, and I certainly think... All right, all right, put them in. I'll have enough socks for everybody at the whole convention. Dad? We're upstairs, bud. Jim, you don't need all those shirts. What do you mean all those shirts? I'm only taking six. But you'll only be away three days. You said so yourself. But, honey, I've got to look neat. All the big shots from the home office will be there. I think three shirts are quite enough. You just have to be a little careful, that's all. OK, three shirts. Fine thing, a man can't even pack the bag away once, too. Say, Dad, can I talk to you for a minute? About what? Well... Handkerchiefs. Mustn't forget handkerchiefs. I've already put them in, dear. Oh, thank you. Well, what is it, bud? Could I have three dollars? No. What happened to that bottle opener I had in the top drawer? Jim, if it's going to be that kind of convention... It isn't, Margaret, but I just thought... Well, never mind. Dad? But I said no. I know, Dad, but this is an emergency. What kind of an emergency? The worst kind. I've never known you to have any other. Why do you need three dollars? Well, it's for the baseball team. I need another bat. You mean you've broken the old one already? No, but, well, I think I've used up all the hits. You what? I'm in an awful slump, Dad. I haven't had a hit in two weeks. And if I can just buy a bat with some hits in it... That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my life. You've got a perfectly good bat. Why waste three dollars on another one? But, Dad, I've got to do something to change my luck. Luck? Superstitious twaddle. If you can't get a hit with the old bat, you won't get one with a new one either. But, Dad... Particularly if I have to pay for it. Well, I guess I'm all packed. You haven't forgotten anything, have you, dear? I don't think so. But how about taking the bag downstairs like a good fellow? OK. But look, Dad, we're playing a very important game this afternoon. Mother! Just a moment, Bud. What is it, Kathy? I don't care what she says, you can't go. Mother, Betty says I can't go to the club with her this afternoon. And you said I could. I said I'd ask her, dear. Mother, it's bad enough going out with a boy I don't even know. But if I have to drag her along... They're going to play tennis, and I want to watch. Kathy, if Betty says you can't go, then you can't go. Now stop arguing. You love her more than you love me. That's why you're always sticking up for her. I'm not sticking up for anybody. You can watch Bud play baseball. No. What? Holy cow, Dad, you don't know what you're doing. Oh, I don't, huh? She's worse than a black cat. She's worse than an umpire. Now listen, Bud, there's no reason... But, Dad, you've never heard her. She sounds like a fire siren. She gets both teams rattled. Hmm. Bunch of sand-lotters. It's all right, Kathy. You can stay home with me this afternoon. But I want... We'll find something to do. How about the bag, Bud? OK. Not having enough trouble. They want me to take her along. Father? What is it, Betty? Is Mr. Davis's nephew tall and dark? How do I know? I've never even seen him. What difference does it make, anyway? Well, Janie Liggett told my fortune yesterday, and the card said to be careful of a tall, dark man. And if he's tall and dark... Betty, if he's eight feet tall and has hair made of licorice, you're still going out with him. He's only going to be in town this weekend, and I gave Ed Davis my word. But, Father... Most idiotic thing I've ever heard in my life. Just because Janie Liggett hasn't got a brain in her head... It wasn't Janie's idea, Father. She has a fortune-telling set, and it's wonderful. It cost four dollars. Oh, pardon me. I thought it was one of the cheap two-dollar cents. Jim, I know you're going to say it's silly, but I did have a dream about a wedding last night. Margaret, not you, too. Well, you remember my grandmother, Williams? The hot-and-tot kid. Jim, grandmother Williams was a very sweet woman, and she said when you dream of a wedding, it means trouble. Oh, well, that depends on who's getting married. Jim! You certainly don't believe in that poppycock, do you? Well, no, but if Betty's going to feel uneasy... Feel uneasy about what? Since when is a dream something to be afraid of? I'm not afraid of dreams, Daddy. Nine years old, and she's the only intelligent one in the whole house. You're a very sensible little girl, Kathy. I'm not afraid of anything, because I've got a lucky penny and a rabbit's foot and a horseshoe. Margaret, what's gotten into this family, anyway? These aren't the Middle Ages. This is the 20th century. We're supposed to be intelligent human beings. Jim, it's not that we believe in these things. Then what does it mean? All this quadril about dreams and fortune tellers and bats with hits in them? You sound like a bunch of stone-aged simpletons. Why, Father? Now, just a moment, Jim Anderson. You have just as many silly little superstitions as anyone else. I certainly do not. You most certainly do. Kathy. Yes, Daddy? Go downstairs and help Bud. What's he doing? How do I know what he's doing? Go downstairs and find out. And help him. Gee whiz. Now, see here, Margaret. In my time, I've walked under hundreds of ladders, broken thousands of mirrors, ignored millions of black cats. You can call that being superstitious. I'll bet that's Charlie. Who? Charlie Davis. And Father, if he's tall and dark. But Father, Janey said... I don't care what Janey said. You are going out with Charlie Davis. Oh, poo. Betty, it's for you. She'll be right down, Bud. Go ahead, Betty. If this is the 20th century, why do I have to be treated like somebody's slave? I don't know what's gotten into that girl. Right up here on the shelf. It's downstairs in the hall closet. I mean, my old gray hat, the one I always wear to conventions. Jim, it was all worn out. It was dirty and the ribbon was faded. Margaret, what did you do with my hat? Well, I gave it to Mr. Adams. Mr., you mean the junk man? Yes, dear. You gave my hat to the junk man? Jim, you have a brand new hat. Oh, Margaret, how could you do a thing like that to me? That was my luck. I mean, how could you? But you said... I've worn that hat to conventions for 15 years. You know I never go to a convention without it. What were you thinking of? Father, he is tall and he's got the blackest hair you ever saw. I won't go with him and you can't make me. Oh, I can't, can't I? Betty Anderson, you'll go out with that boy or you'll never go out again. But, Father... You're the man's hat away at a time like this. Betty, after all, your father knows best. And if he thinks... All right, I'll go. But if anything happens to me, you'll have no one to blame but yourself. Betty, your father's going away, aren't you going to say goodbye? Sure, goodbye. And I hope you have a very nice time. Most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. A perfectly good hat, sitting up on a shelf, not hurting a soul. Jim, you said you weren't superstitious. Superstitious? What has superstition got to do with it? I like that hat. It was the best hat I've ever had. But it was all worn out. It was a perfect hat for going to conventions and you know it. But... Jim... You want me, Dad? Get Mr. Adams on the phone. Who? Mr. Adams. The junk man? Tell him I want my gray hat back. It's in the closet, Dad. My old gray hat. Tell him I'll give him $5 for it. For that hat? But... Okay, Dad. Jim, you're being very foolish about this whole thing. Oh, I am, am I? Just because I have a lucky... Just because I happen to like a certain hat, I'm being foolish. That's fine. Jim, your train leaves in less than an hour. Well, let it leave. I'll take a plane. I'll walk. But until Mr. Adams comes back with my hat, I'm not going to... What is it, Kathy? Mr. Adams. Oh, what does he want? I'll be right down, Ed. Take your time, Jim. No hurry. Jim, please don't make a fuss in front of Ed. Of course not. You know I've got better sense than that. I do? Well, I guess I've got everything except my hat. I don't understand, Jim, after that long speech you made about dreams and fortune tellers. Margaret, my hat has nothing to do with dreams and fortune tellers. Isn't the question superstition or anything like that? I merely want my hat. And in the future, will you please leave my things alone? Yes, dear. I'm not asking for anything unusual. Just don't give my hats to the junk man. All right, dear. Jim, I'm sorry to barge in at a time like this. I know you must be kind of busy. Well, it's all right. How are you, Ed? Fine, Margaret. That's fine. Jim, I have some property in Chicago. And I wonder if you'll do me a big favor while you're there. Sure, Ed. I'll be glad to. Dad, Mr. Adams wasn't there. That's impossible. He must be there. Okay, but Mrs. Adams said he wasn't. She's going to see if she can find him. Margaret, now do you see what you've done? Jim, you said? I know what I said, but good grief. Anything wrong, Jim? Everything's wrong. We've had nothing but trouble all day. My good hat's gone. The junk man's gone. Betty didn't even want to go out with your nephew just because he's tall and dark. You mean Charlie? Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous? Well, I don't understand. Oh, Janie Liggett has some kind of an idiotic set that tells fortunes, and she told Betty... Well, I understand that part all right. It used to be quite a hand with a Ouija board. But I don't understand about Charlie. Oh, there's nothing to worry about, Ed. She went with him even though he is tall and dark. But he isn't. Charlie's sharp, and he has red hair. Oh, come on. What news about coffee? You've been seeing it in stores everywhere in recent weeks, seeing lower prices on Maxwell House coffee, and the news gets better and better, because grocers today are featuring Maxwell House at the lowest prices in months. Yes, you'll find the lowest prices in months on the coffee with that wonderful good to the last drop flavor, a welcome occasion for everybody, you, your grocer, and for us at Maxwell House, too. You see, we have one aim with our coffee to bring you the most in flavor and enjoyment every pound you buy, to bring you truly good coffee at the lowest possible price. That's our way of doing business, and seems you folks like it. You've made our Maxwell House coffee, America's favorite brand, and you can count on that famous flavor every cup you pour, because you find more flavor for your money, vacuum packed in that familiar blue tin. And at today's prices, Maxwell House is more than ever today's coffee buy. Look for it. Featured these days at the lowest prices in months. Enjoy the coffee that's always good to the last drop. Double, double, toil and trouble, fire, burn, and cauldron bubble. It's a far cry from the witches of Macbeth to the Andersons of Springfield, but not as far as you might think. An hour has passed, and the situation has altered only slightly. Bud is out playing baseball. Kathy is out playing, well, whatever it is that nine-year-old girls play. But in the White Frame House on Maple Street, the air is charged with nervous tension. Not a word has been heard from Betty, and the Andersons and Ed Davis can do nothing but wait, like this. Don't like this. Don't like it at all. Look, Ed, I don't care what you do, but do something. Well, let's try this. Hmm, let me see now. Jim, I don't understand how you can sit there at a time like this and play canasta. Well, what do you want me to do? Margaret, we haven't left a stone unturned. We've called all her friends, the club, all the authorities, and they've promised to let us know the second either one of them turns up. There must be someone else we can call. Like who? I'm not even sure calling the police was such a good idea. Jim, you've got to understand my position. After all, Charlie's my nephew, and we don't know where he is, the idiot. We don't know where Betty is, or how the boy with the dark hair got into it. Very confusing. Whose turn is it? Well, the whole thing is certainly nothing to worry about. That's because Janie Liggett is a superstitious little twerp. Jim, after all the fuss you made about your hat, how can you call anyone superstitious? My hat has nothing to do with it, and I didn't make a fuss. Then why did you miss your train? Because I decided to fly, and I wanted to find out what happened to Betty. That's all. Nothing complicated about it, and it has nothing to do with superstition. I guarantee that when Betty shows up, there'll be a perfectly logical explanation of the whole thing. Well, I hope you're right. Of course I'm right. Go ahead, Ed, it's your turn. You haven't put down a card. Oh, well, just a minute. Certainly taking long enough. I have a right to think about it, don't I? Just don't rush me. You know, when I was a boy, we lived in an old house on the north side, and the place was simply crawling with ghosts. Well, one day... Wait a minute, Ed. Don't tell me you believe in ghosts. Why not? Well, it's ridiculous. Everybody knows there's no such thing. Oh, they do, do they? Well, let me tell you, Jim, there wasn't a night went by. Betty? It's me, Mom. I'm sorry, Ed. What are you doing home, bud? Thought you were going to play baseball. Well, I started to play, but... Gosh, Dad, I told you that bat wasn't any good. But what on earth happened to your eye? God's another shiner. But have you been fighting again? I got hit with a baseball. That's great. You know if this keeps up, you're going to have that eye worn out. I couldn't help it, Dad. I asked you to let me buy another bat. You were hit with a ball. What does a bat have to do with it? Well, they took me out for a pinch-hitter. And while I was sitting on the bench, I got hit in the eye. There you see. That's what you get for being superstitious. Why aren't you on the train? Who said anything about a train? Jim, bud, is only doing the things you taught him. I taught him? When did I teach him anything about a bat with no hits in it? Well, it amounts to the same thing. Just because you're concerned over a silly old hat. I'm not concerned about my hat. The hat has nothing to do with it. And, Margaret, will you please stop changing the subject? Oh, no, not again. What was that? The Glacier's delight. Kathy? Bud, tell Kathy to come in here, please. Okay. Tells me I can't get a new bat and then blames the whole thing on me. As I was saying, Jim, we had a rocking chair in our living room. And every night it went back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. What does that prove? Well, it certainly wasn't moving all by itself. You know, Ed, you certainly have some very peculiar ideas. I don't say anything peculiar about them at all. And if you weren't so dogged on stubborn, stubborn, me, you're the one who's being stubborn. I'll show you a dozen books that prove there's no such thing as a ghost. And I'll show you two dozen books that prove there are. Jim, my grandmother, William, said that when she was a girl... Now, there's a great authority for you. A dame who spent half her life running around with hotentots. She was a very sweet woman, and you have no right to make fun of her. I'm not making fun of her. I'm merely trying to tell you that superstition is silly. Where did you get that hat? What? Oh, nothing. I was just thinking. Come on, William. Well, stop pulling me. Why do you always have to pull me? Kathy, what did you do out there? I was trying to make everybody lucky. She heaved a horseshoe through the garage window. Oh, fine. We just had it fixed. But, Daddy, I was worried about Betty, and they told me if I threw it over my right shoulder. Your left shoulder, Dopey. Oh! Well, no wonder. Kathy, do you see what you've done? She was just trying to be helpful, dear. Sure, and I'm going to be set back another $4.20 for a window. I said it was lucky. Who said it was lucky? The man who fixed the window. Look, Kathy, let's examine this thing calmly and with simple logic. Why is a horseshoe lucky? Well, everybody says it is. Horses have millions of them, and are they lucky? Some of them are. That idiotic rabbit's foot you carry around. What rabbit used to belong to? Did it bring him any luck? Well, he was lucky while he had it. It didn't keep him getting shot, did it? He had four feet, four nice lucky rabbit's feet, and he still got shot. He must have looked at the moon over the wrong shoulder. Now look, Kathy. Jim. I'll answer it. Dear, if it's Betty, please don't lose your temper. The silliest family I've ever seen. I think we were living in the Middle Ages. Horseshoes and rabbits feet. Father, how could you do this to me? How could you? You get inside. I'll talk to you later. Officer. We found her at Crandall's drug store, Mr. Anderson. She was having a soda. And he wouldn't even let me finish. Oh, well, uh, sorry you were put to all this trouble, officer. I'll see that it doesn't happen again. Oh, that's okay. We're used to it. Jim, is it Betty? Mother, why did you do this to me? Having me dragged home by the police and everybody looking at me. Darling, we were so worried. Where is Charlie? What did you do with that rattle-brained redhead? Did you want the boys? Nobody told me to bring them. You mean there were two of them? Father, why didn't you listen to me? I told you I didn't want to go with Tommy. You said it was Charlie. I didn't say it was Charlie. I said he was tall and dark, and Janey Liggett said I was going to have trouble. But you wouldn't listen. I'm sorry I listened in the first place. Who was the other boy? Tommy. Tommy who? I don't know, but he's a friend of Charlie's, and Charlie was trying to get a date for him. And he knew he was going to be late, so he sent Tommy and we met him down at Mr. Cranwell's, and it's all your fault. What's my fault? If you hadn't started that ridiculous thing about Janey Liggett and the tall, dark man. Will you be needing me for anything else? Hmm? Oh, thank you, officer. I think everything's under control now. Well, I wouldn't be so sure. Sounds to me like the whole house is infested with leprechauns. Better leave a bowl of milk out for them tonight, otherwise you'll have nothing but trouble. Thank you, officer. We'll, uh, do just that. Now we've got leprechauns. Betty, what happened to that idiot nephew of mine? Nothing. When the policeman came, he and Tommy didn't know what to do, so they're having another soda. Just wait till I get my hands on that carrot-headed numbskull. Just wait. It wasn't his fault, Ed. The whole thing was a very unfortunate misunderstanding. That's all. It's more than that. It's a perfect example of what I've been trying to tell you. Do you see what superstition has done to this family? Jim, it's not that important. It is important. We're supposed to be a healthy, normal American family. And what happened to us? We've become involved in a bunch of old-world superstitions and all of our lives are affected. Bud gets a black eye, Kathy breaks a window. Betty gets the whole neighborhood upset with her tall, dark stranger. Jim, it's very well to scoff at superstition, but when I was a boy... God, now what? I tell you that chair rocked back and forth. Back and forth. Mr. Anderson, my friend, my wonderful friend, it's about time you got here. Where's my hat? Jim, you mustn't blame Mr. Adams. I gave him the hat. Mrs. Anderson, look what I brought for you. The biggest box of candy I could find. This is the biggest box of candy in Springfield. Why, Mr. Adams? Go ahead. Take it. Take it. I want you to have it. It's for you. Mr. Adams, all we want is the hat. May I please have it? See, I brought a doll for the little girl. Presents for everybody. A baseball bat and perfume. Mr. Adams, I have to go to Chicago. May I please have my hat? Look, Mr. Anderson, cigars. The biggest box I could find. Mr. Adams. Three for a half. That's expensive. But nothing is too good for my friend. Thank you very much. Now may I have my hat? The hat, that wonderful hat. You know, all my life I've been an unlucky man, a junk man, a poor petler. And then you gave me that hat, that beautiful hat. I said I'd give you five dollars. Oh, I couldn't sell that. Not that hat. Ten dollars. Jim. Mr. Anderson. Fifteen dollars. I wouldn't sell it for a million dollars. Haven't you heard what it did for me? I just won the Irish Sweepstakes. It's been wonderful news the past few weeks. Maxwell House Coffee featured at lower prices. And today in big stores and small, grocers are featuring America's favorite brand of coffee at the lowest prices in months. I know how welcome that news is for you folks who know and love Maxwell House. And for you folks who haven't been getting that wonderful good to the last drop flavor in your cup, now's the time. Open up a blue tin of Maxwell House and see how much more pleasure you find in coffee when it has the world's most famous flavor. Flavor you can count on always because we're proud of it. And we'll never compromise on the quality of a single pound. For the wonderful coffee that's today's coffee by, look for Maxwell House featured at the lowest prices in months. It's always good to the last drop. It doesn't take long for three days to come and go. Just about three days. And that's precisely what's happened in Springfield. Jim Anderson has gone to Chicago and come back again. And now for the first time in three days, he's at the breakfast table with his family, like this. I guess I made them sit up and take notice. Right in front of everybody, Mr. Craig said they couldn't have placed the Springfield area in more capable hands. Jim, he didn't. He certainly did. And he's only the president of the company, that's all. Boy, you should have seen the eyes pop. Say, Dad, you know how many hits I got yesterday with the bat Mr. Adams gave me? Six. That's fine, bud. How come you had a game yesterday? Well, it wasn't a regular league game. I was just fooling around with Kathy's team. He hit three home runs. Oh, it wasn't so much. A father. Yes, Betty? I'm going to a formal next Friday, and I saw the most beautiful dress. Again? Betty, your father just got home. But mother Tommy said it was going to be the most exclusive formal of the year. Tommy, you mean the tall dark one? Uh-huh. You know, maybe we're going to have trouble with him after all. Jim, let's not get started on that again. It was a very successful convention, wasn't it? It certainly was. I accomplished a great deal. And you did it all without your lucky hat, didn't you? Margaret, I never said it was a lucky hat. I merely said, well, the man's entitled to a few little idiosyncrasies. That's all it was, so let's just forget it. All right, dear. Daddy. Yes, Kathy? Is everything all right now? I mean, you aren't going away on any more trips or anything, are you? No, Kathy. I'm staying right here, and everything's just as fine as ever. Good. Now, can I please have my rabbit's foot back? Did you know? Now there's an instant coffee with roaster-fresh, pure coffee flavor. It's Instant Maxwell House, the instant coffee with a famous flavor, the happiest combination in coffee. Wonderful good to the last drop flavor, combined with the convenience and thrift of coffee made instantly in the cup. Unlike most instant coffees, it's all rich, pure coffee. It's all instant coffee. It's all rich, pure coffee. Nothing added. Tomorrow, try the instant coffee with a famous flavor, Instant Maxwell House, instantly good to the last drop. Join us again next week when we'll be back with Father Knows Best, starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson, with Roy Bargy on the Maxwell House Orchestra, and yours truly, Bill Foreman. Don't forget, membership cards for the Robert Young Good Drivers Club are waiting for you at your local NBC station. Get a man-to-man or dad-to-daughter pledge and sign up today. Be a good driver. Get your membership card in the Robert Young Good Drivers Club today. Now until next Thursday, good night and good luck from the makers of Maxwell House, America's favorite brand of coffee. Always good to the last drop. Father Knows Best was transcribed in Hollywood and written by Ed James. Now stay tuned for Green Guild Theater, which follows immediately over most of these stations. Stay tuned for Green Guild and the seventh fail on NBC.