 It is a sacred a secular sacred obligation When you are co-coaching especially You're you're working to Change a person's life to help the other person to help the person change their life. It's high stakes. It's important Real focus really listen really listen put your ego away really fucking listen We all want to be agreed with But but part of putting your ego aside is when you are in the role of the coach really encouraging disagreement Honesty is critical and if you are the coachee The more honest you can be the more your coach can help you so I simply want you to turn to the person next to you and I want you we're gonna do a We're gonna take a total of 10 minutes in which You simply follow this model agree that it that who's gonna who's gonna be the coach who's gonna be the coachee? I would like one pair of you to volunteer to come and kind of Do what you did in front of all of us So why don't you tell me what the problem that you're having is in your in your search the Challenge I'm looking to overcome is that I am looking for a person that I can shadow with who is Addressing more corporate people as their clients versus only schools and teachers who is Putting offer out in the world to be helping those corporations that are their clients to be socially emotionally intelligent literate so far in a couple of years. I've met people who Do this but it's been more like on a schools and Teacher schools and student situation, which is great because I have an avenue that way. I'd appreciate getting up to but it's that Specific Letting me work with them as a service arm not to be competition with them but maybe an extension of what it is that they already do until There would be that competent confidence of me stepping out on my own and doing such a Avenue of work for myself not to compete with them, but maybe part of them as a corporation themselves Can I ask in in that concern these contacts that you've talked to? Have you explained what you've explained to me kind of your idea for how you'd like to expand on the counseling or if they have Advice for you There've been a couple of people where upon my approaching them. I think they Felt intimidated or that I'm part of a competition instead of a possible comrade There was literally a lady that I met this past Tuesday that Is about 85% of what it is that I'm looking for since with her and I've written her a long Message for asking for the exact same things that I'm mentioning here on Facebook and thus far I have not heard back from her, but I hope with a lot of Wonderful energy and lightning. She will get back to me even if it's no I can still get a possible Direction from her I Guess you say that some of the people you've come in contact feel you as competition Do you have any ideas how maybe there's a larger group or corporation or company? Where they have multiple people doing a similar position where someone could give advice Instead of feeling your competition and being resistant Yeah, there's a handful of people Any specific names I Haven't put in I haven't put very many action steps In how to connect with these people. I know that they're out there. They form forum on LinkedIn by a couple of Directions that can go under the same umbrella of social emotional intelligence But a lot of those folks themselves are coaches themselves And I guess they're looking for a possible bite so to speak amongst the ocean of that somebody would be a client And I could be a client, but in the end up mostly I'm looking to be at the same level if not better than what it is that they do so What's fuzzy in your mind from what where are you stuck right now? I guess yeah, we're to go on from here Sorry Yeah, I'm not sure what what more to ask to help to to lead her to come up with ideas. I guess I feel Maybe in terms of the the knowledge I don't know if I have any knowledge in terms of leads or directions to take so I was trying to lead her Out because I know she has she's been working in this And exploring this so I think she has the knowledge That she she the knowledge that she needs to find what she's looking for she already has or the she has the pathways to get in I'm trying to Draw that out if you were listening if you were one of these organizations That she was pitching How would you honestly would you say? Oh, yeah, yes, we'd like to bring you on board Would you say you're unclear what she was trying to do? Would you not buy what you what would you really internally be feeling? I guess some some clarity in in the position that she's looking for Would it would have helped on my end precisely So is it not your job right now to get her to do a better job of explaining what she's trying to do? Because it was a little vague and over the map so therefore even if she found some leads That wouldn't be as persuasive as it needs to be so the lesson in this is To really be its integrity is listening so honestly is she doing a good job of pitching? You know, and I'm not gonna say, you know, so I'm not gonna destroy her But I'll certainly ask clarifying question Do you feel you've stated it as clearly as you want you want to try it again? So why don't you try some of that? Okay, um So could you? Do you feel that you've clearly stated the the job goal or the job position? Or function that you're looking for Yeah, I would I Guess what I would have to do is brainstorm on and find out if person who would let me come on board as a service arm and Shadow with them I'd have to write out what it is that I would I'd have to write out some basics on what I understand social emotional intelligence is and Watch their technique and what kind of skills and tools they use as well as the informations and See if After looking at them and being around them first I can start to then craft on how I can be a service arm With either the same person Thankfully or with someone else it would give me a template on how to move next at least I guess then Could I ask is Are you looking for more information on the position a position? That you're trying to gain more knowledge about or do you have that position in mind and you're just looking to see someone Doing it actively some it's real-world experience of what they're doing Because I'm getting the sense and in your description that you're also searching You have an idea for position but you want to see it in concrete Yeah, that would be it. I Would need to indeed find out What it is of a match that I could put together with what it is that they could make for an offer That's it. We're my comment here As I am while I am Not supposed to be judgmental externally We all it's important that we do make judgments to Ask the right questions to help the person now. I had this intuition That her knowledge of social and emotional intelligence is thin And that before she went and pitched anything she needed to learn much more about it On whether it be through reading watching YouTube videos or whatever so in that coaching role I'm going to use my judge mentalness in a way to tactfully ask a question say To what extent if you trusted the goddess within you What percentage of the way there are you in terms of your knowledge about social and emotional intelligence? Zero means, you know, nothing a hundred means you're a rock star. Where would you say you are? Okay, she's on the 60. Well, let's do it. What what where are you on a zero to a hundred scale? Yeah, 60 is about it. Okay, and what would the goddess with and what would the goddess within you? Tell you you need to do to get to 80. I don't want to create too big a bar What would the goddess within you tell you is your way to go about getting to an 80? I do need to have more concrete information as opposed to a pick up game kind of mentality or Action step to it. I have to get some real concrete. Yeah, it's not something you could just pick So which is your way to read articles watch YouTube videos take a course in emotional intelligence. What's your way? I think a very fast-paced way to get from zero to 80 is if I took some courses Start with a course and where you're not you already are 60. We're not at zero Right. So if you if I said that you're what you're telling me you want to do is perhaps look at Local community colleges or four-year colleges or whatever Extension programs and look for a course in emotional intelligence. Are you saying that that's really the preliminary skeptic you want to take? Yeah, yeah, but the hesitancy suggests that that wasn't quite right Sincerely the hesitancy is Monetary So with the goddess within you tell you need to You can't go for a job when you don't feel you're if you really feel it a 60 It's premature to get the job. So you need do you need a survival job for money in the meantime? And that will then give you the luxury to then take the course and gain the level of Competence that you need to be able to go forth and pitch yourself as an Emotionals Intelligence counselor, is that right? Yeah, and with what would the goddess within you tell you would be the way to get that survival job? There's the rub. You have to work on that happily on understanding how much it is that I can work with survival and put myself then into Not understanding that what's what's the kind of survival? Should you be a waitress? Should you be a driver Uber driver? Should you be what would the goddess within you tell you should be your survival to way to make survival money? So you're not scared of money so much and so that you can enjoy taking that course in emotional intelligence Yeah, it does happen to be and it would give me the best time to Go ahead and pursue Looking up those courses and that is that I already am a T and C your Uber lift shuttle Delive couple of that ways Applications driver so let's see how you really feel it would be silent for 15 seconds Get in touch with the idea that you're going to do some more Uber driving You're going to for fun Maybe do a little reading a couple of articles or whatever on emotional intelligence When you've got making a little more money Then you're going to go and take a course and then you're going to go look for a job That's going to pay you or at least do some job-shattering leading to a job That's somehow related to emotional intelligence either for a nonprofit or government agency how let's be silent for 15 seconds That's the plan that you've kind of come up with with my facilitation, but you're come up with and with his facilitation 15 seconds of silence then I'm going to ask you what's feeling good What's feeling yucky and what's feeling fuzzy 15 seconds of silence starts now I need to Help myself learn how to have more Time in feeling well that I'm I'm doing this and it's it's the better path Using that pronoun I guess or subscription To help myself walk into Instead of drive and force like I have in previous and that's why it hasn't worked but I've also been unclear to of Getting those courses in my life While there's been enough room to even look going towards those per my in a survival job that I can do well and not feel like I Have to tolerate a difficult culture and so forth because those days are gone Okay, now of course if we really had time she's open to all kinds of other issues She's had a lot of past. She's having to get past For today we can't do it, but I'm listening even though I was trying to get closure She's just opened a lot of doors. There's a lot of shit's happened to her Then there'll be lessons to be learned from that really good material to talk about in the rest of a co-coaching session or subsequent Let's for now. Let's hear it for