 You must have guidance. If you're doing something that is near impossible, you must have guidance. How many of us know a single NBA player that got to the NBA without guidance? Without a coach, without a dad that's a coach, without a dad that's an NBA player? How many of those NBA players got to that level, to that apex of superiority of excellence without guidance? How many Olympic athletes do you know? One Olympic medal without an Olympic coach? We just had the Olympics, right? How many people do you know? How many just even one? How many athletes didn't have a coach? Even if it wasn't even an Olympic coach, even if just how many people just didn't have any coach? I don't know a single coach in this industry, in my industry, and this is the weird thing. I don't know a single coach that came from where I came from that got good without his own coach. That's the weird thing. And my coaches have actually been on the stage. And my coaches have been the guy speaking here when I was in your spot and I was looking at them saying, wow, I could never be there. I could never get to where that guy's going. I could never achieve that. Everyone has their own coach when they're successful. I have my own coaches. Today, I have my own coaches. Robbie has his own coaches. Your coaches have their own coaches. So what that tells you is if you're the guy who doesn't have your own coach, what does that tell you about your shot at getting good at this? What does that tell you about the 95-5? If the rest of the people in that 5% have their own coaches, what does that tell you? Where does that place you? For most of the people, it places them in at 95%. The reason I bring this up is because I didn't always know this. The reason I bring this up is because for a long time, I thought I was too good for that. Not just in dating, but in general. For the longest time, I avoided hiring a business coach because I thought I'll just make it in hard work. I'll make it because I have loyal students. I'll make it because I'll figure it out. I did the same thing. I did the same thing in a lot of different areas in my life. A lot of areas I didn't invest in myself and as a result, I paid the price for it. So when I finally came to my senses and I realized what was happening, the first thing I did is everything that I wanted to be successful in, I got guidance. Whether it was a coach, whether it was a friend or a family friend that really knew what they were doing, I got a coach. I got some sort of guidance to help me through that on anything that I wanted to excel in. And that's why today I have coaches. I probably have more personal coaches than anyone else in this room today right now on everything that I want to get good at. I don't even want to be a pro photographer, yet I have a photography coach. Because you know why? My entire career in the Marine Corps, I have zero pictures. I have no pictures because I didn't want to buy a camera or hire a coach. So I didn't know what to take pictures. So I look back and it's like I didn't even exist in the Marine Corps. I have no pictures aside from a few that friends took. I can't go back and change that. I can't go back and turn back time and say, well now I'm smarter than that and I want to go create those memories again so I have them. So I can show my kids those things. So I can show my grandkids about my time in the Marine Corps. I can't do that. And so I made a choice that from that point on, if I want to get good at something, I'm going to have guidance. I'm going to go out and get guidance or get a coach to do that. You're trying to do the impossible, gentlemen, a lot of you. I know that because I was trying to do the impossible. And if you're trying to do the impossible, you better stack the deck in your favor. Because even with the deck stacked in your favor, you get a 95% shot that you ain't going to make it. And against those odds, you better do everything in your power to make sure that you're as close as you can get to being in that 5%. And you know what? It still might not work. You still might be in that 94%. You still might be there, but at least you've got a fighting chance. Because if you look around and you look at everyone around you and you say, I am not working harder than everyone else here. There's a couple of people that are working harder than me. In this room, in this city, in this layer, in this group, in this organization, there's a few people that are working harder than me. Then guess what? Then that guy's going to be in that 5% and you're not. You're going to be in the 95%. Finally, lesson seven. You must be willing to change, grow, and adapt. Most people in this world are not willing to change. Our most basic, fundamental human emotion, the thing that we want the most, the thing, our most basic human instinct is to do what's not easy, familiar. A lot of people think that our basic instinct is to survive or to replicate or to do something to achieve some goal. It's not. It's to do what's familiar. Everything else being equal, we will always do what is familiar. Why do you think Columbia was scary? Would Columbia be scarier if I lived in Columbia? Absolutely not. Why? Does it make the country any less dangerous? No? Not really. I mean, maybe okay, maybe I can speak the language now. But aside from that, let's say I lived in Brazil where I spoke Portuguese. Would that make Columbia any less dangerous? Not really. So why is it? Because of familiarity. Because I wasn't familiar with that country, with that location. And therefore, I was uncomfortable with it. Most people, gentlemen, as much as we all want to believe that yes, I want to change, I want to grow, I want to adapt, most of us don't. Most of us don't. By raw human instinct, we actually don't want to change. We don't want to grow. And you have to fight that instinct every waking moment. Because if you don't, it'll take over. And when it takes over, you are right back in that 95%. That's why everyone's there. Because most people aren't willing to wake up every day and fight that instinct. That fight that instinct to not want to change, to not want to grow, to not want to adapt. Because it's hard. It's hard. It's scary. There's a lot of anxiety about it. The whole nine yards. That's why in this industry, we hear things like, oh, that's not me. I don't want to do that, that's not me. If I told any of you guys, hey, I want you to dress like, say, kiss. The rock group. Just go out like kiss from that one. Or go out like a hipster. Go out like a gay hipster. I don't care what it is. Go out like something you're extremely not doing right now. You're extremely uncomfortable. The opposite of what you're doing. Go out with a giant mohawk on your head. Go out with something that you're completely unfamiliar with. The vast majority of the responses I'm gonna get is gonna sound something like, it isn't me. Oh, that's not me. That's not me. What that means is a resistance to change to growth, to adaptation. Most people don't want to experiment. The whole concept of that isn't me. Are you defined by the mohawk? I'm obviously not. Are you defined by the clothes you wear, by the makeup that kiss wears? Are you defined by the music you listen to? Are you defined by the shoes you wear? To paraphrase Fight Club, you are not your fucking khakis. You're not defined by the things that you wear. You're not even defined by the hobbies that you have. You're not even defined by what you look like. You're defined by something that doesn't change. And that has nothing to do with what you wear, what you look like, what you like to do on the weekends, or what music you listen to. Therefore, when someone says that isn't me, that's not actually true. Because what really is you can't be changed. It is the intrinsic you. That can't be changed. Everything else on top of that is merely superficiality. Things that you wear, you can change that. The most common thing I get is when a guy says, oh, I wanna be myself, or I wanna just be me. Why can't people like me for me? Why do I have to change? Why can't people just like me for me? And I ask, well, when you go to a job interview, do you wear shorts and a t-shirt? Because I'm a pretty casual guy. I like wearing shorts and a t-shirt. Should I go to a job interview? Wearing shorts and a t-shirt. That's me, right? No, it's not me. I am not defined by my clothes. I am not defined by those external things. That isn't him, and that isn't you.