 This is the SF Productions Podcast Network We missed a good chance! All the fun and excitement you see here in front of us and around us. I'll tell you that we're on Tuesdays at 6, Wednesdays at 10, and Thursdays at 3 here on ACTV Cable 21. And if you wish to write us, which in fact two people, not just one, but two people did this time, we're at Bass Wasteland Post Office Box 151411, Columbus, Ohio 43215. Right early and often. We'd love to hear from you. So we're going to go right into these letter things here. Yes, let's go into the letter things here. Well the first one I have is from Kimberly Pepple, who writes extremely neatly. Isn't that nice? Yes, he looks like he uses a ruler to get the line straight. It doesn't matter, it's incredibly nice. So to whom it may concern, which is us today, I saw your show about dolls of the 1960s and 1970s. I had one of the tippy-toes dolls and will be interested in buying one. Any ideas on who I might contact, any help would be appreciated, thanks. And she gives a name and an address and she finds it in a real nice cursive. Well I have mine, but that's mine that I've had forever and ever. And I'll give you a call and I can think of a couple of places that may be able to locate it. If anybody out there knows of some place where you can locate tippy-toes, which is a little doll that does have a rider bike across the table. I'm going to have the bike with her. Well she rode a bike, rode a horse, if you held a little hand she walked. If anybody's got any ideas, write us because you can't call us. No you can't. So I know some of you have. You can call us but we just won't hear you. And then I also know there's a toy show that they have, well I guess it would be a buy annual toy show here in the city that's usually like in May and then when it's September where they have all sorts of old toys so it's possible they could have one there as well. So you've got a letter to read. I've got a letter to read. Addressed to the Vast Wasteland crew. Dear Vast Wasteland, a friend of mine and I were talking recently and we were trying to remember that gorgeous babe who played Wonder Woman the original. Well you don't mean the original Wonder Woman because that was Kathy Lee Crosby and nobody wanted to know about her. No, we're talking about the nicer looking one, the one with the dark hair, the one with the suit that matched the comic books. We're talking Linda Carter. Thank you. That's who it was. Thanks Dave. Boy we just couldn't think of that last name at all. But it's Linda Carter. And it's signed I want to marry a woman like her. I don't believe that. Well if you could find a woman like her then more power to you. And this letter is not written very neatly. Oh well. But in the meantime it's Toys. Ooh, ooh, ooh. Last time we were talking about Barbie and Ken as part of the thing here, Barbie and Ken. This is like the original Barbie, the first Barbie and the first Ken. But anyway in the news there is a Barbie slasher. That's just been going to toy stores and slashing Barbie's knotty bits. Well not that Barbies actually have any but well anyway still they've been going and slashing them. And the newspaper reports that this may be the work of a sexual deviant. Just maybe, just maybe. Well. Well maybe not. Yeah. It might not be. It could just be an outraged somebody that was just mad that they never developed that way or something. Send your theories here. Yes. Well that's your theories on who the Barbie slasher is. And if you are the Barbie slasher send us a line. We want to know why. Tell us why. So that we can check our theories. We're just curious and nosy and such. And it makes darn good reading. Yeah. So let's talk about toys. Let's make the time-life books. Serial killers. You get the next issue. Barbie slasher. I wouldn't hold my breath. I can't really say anything about them. I'm on sexual deviates or anything but it's not impossible. So I can barely pronounce it. Okay well there we are. So toys. Yes we got them. Ken we've had them. Uh oh. Okay so let's talk about toys here. We've um brought in mostly games this time. I think that's the topic. Well it was toys and games you know. But some toys were like games. Other toys um other games were like toys. So we've got some toys that are game like and games that are toy like. Yes I'll just rattle out of here and then run and on and on. Oh like games like this. This was the flea circus. You could never figure out how to play this game. But it was sure fun to play with. Yes. Now was this actually a game or was it a toy? This was actually a game. There were cards you drew so that you had to do the little stunts that the cards said. Okay. And the fleas aren't real. I think that was the biggest disappointment in my life. They're actually magnets. And so it was like I don't know some of the science lessons too. Real cleverly hidden in there. So you could learn how magnets attracted and stuff. They come out and say it but later on I caught on. And I quit playing with it. I'll see my tail was really big on magnetic things. Because I had a it was like a pool table kind of thing except it was awful. I didn't really have legs. It just was the surface. The pool table surface. And um you could just play all sorts of different games with them. Had these spring loaded cues. And you could. Well they have to do magnets. There were some of the things were magnetic. And you had to hit them so that they would land on the little magnetic part and stick there. And that was part of the game. One of the games. They were stocking like a magnet company. Something. Mattel was always delving into these interesting little different things. And magnets were definitely quite a part of their whole raison d'etre. At least in the beginning. Oh was that French? Oh stop that. We're talking toys here. Oh we just spoke French. Okay now some of the toys were um based on other things. Like well we've got the Adams Family Card Game. No I can beat that. Which had absolutely nothing to do with the Adams Family. Except it was more it was more like an old maid game. And I think you had to try to end up with something faster. I can beat that. Okay. If you like the TV show you'll love the game. Beverly Hillbillies. Hey wouldn't you like to be granny for a day? Well not necessarily. This one actually someone gave me. So I really have no idea how to play it. But I imagine you've got to go to Beverly. Oh you get a beautiful layout of the home. Do they include the cement pile? Um negative. Oh it's just inside the house okay. Yes. So oh this looks like fun. I can barely contain myself. Ooh ooh. Ooh ooh what's that one based on? TV show or movie? Well these were basically movies but I just... Ah but I got another TV one. And I can get mine a lot faster when you get yours. I bet you can. Mary Hartman Mary Hartman. This is a fun game for those of you who love to watch the show. Because basically every episode is is uh re-counted in this game. You be a character and you've got to get the characters in the plot all together at one time. Which I think they hardly have got to do on the show. This is fun. I don't know why they made it but it's fun. Well I know exactly why they made it. Sell it to geeks like me. They could sell it to people. And out here wherever there's need there is Sons of Hercules. Yes the Sons of Hercules game where you have different... There's like four different Sons of Hercules and they have to perform mighty tasks to obtain gold rings. And I think this one was probably the first um well it seems to be very similar to the Dungeons and Dragons type games because you had to roll the die in order for them to accomplish their tasks and whatever you rolled that was um whether or not you accomplished the task or not. And if you did then you would receive gold and rings to put on the arms of these little Hercules figures. I have a question. That's incredible, yes. It says for ages to seven to fifteen when you were fifteen did you stop playing? Did you cry? Was it traumatic? What happened? Well I was fifteen. I'm sure this was already stuffed up under the bed and I didn't even... This is the first time I pulled this thing out of here in like twenty years or so. At least that long so now don't do that. I won't get anything else done. But you've got a lot done anyway. Well we're talking and boy we're having a great time. Oh I guess we've got... What did you call this one here in the front? Oh well. I mean it's kind of like we've got opposite ends here. It's like we've got like... Parcheesy the mother of all games because there were just several games that were based on this Parcheesy and it says here that Parcheesy is a backgammon game of India and I could have brought a backgammon set but I just couldn't really find mine but Parcheesy the way it's played and the way that the board is made and everything it's set up several games are based on this sorry it was based on Parcheesy aggravation was based on headache was based on Parcheesy they're just so darn many games that were based on this thing it's incredible. Oh you mentioned aggravation which was a lot of fun but if you really thought you were special you played split level aggravation Kind of like the 3D chess on Star Trek Part of the aggravation was figuring out how to play split level aggravation Very much like the 3D chess on Star Trek Well which came first? I think the 3D chess on Star Trek But I noticed that this was made by Lakeside and Lakeside was a wonderful toy company there for a long time they're the people that brought us Gumby originally most of the bendable things and then were they responsible for barrel of monkeys? Yes Okay barrel of monkeys Remember the head of jingle Lakeside game, it's easy to play You know shake up the barrel pour out the monkeys put them together one by one And the spinner call the shots Twister size you up in a knot Twister Yeah Twister Well Twister was an ice breaker for parties I've had more than ice cap broken Right hand blue, left hand red red, white, yellow, blue, green I was an only child so I guess games were kind of wasted on me I was an only child for a long time Twister is not fun when you're playing with your cousins No You had to play with people you don't know or people you want to get to know and I think you've got to be older than 7 Easily Even more everybody will say well this is just a kid game but hey it's more fun if you're older and you don't know who you're playing with or maybe you do Anyway Maybe you want to Exactly, that's just a whole bunch of Twisters Well I thought it was new on some show What's it called with Matt Fruer Oh whatever that thing is it's the new wacky Matt Fruer show from Sunday evenings on Fox He whipped out the Twister and made a big thing of it to get his daughter's party going And it really broke the ice his daughter was embarrassed but yet it really helped out and all the kids thought he was swell Yes Get Twisters, I'll think you're swell Be swell, play Twisters Other other Okay now Milton Bradley did a lot of quite a few games too They were, that's the game people In fact, maybe some of those that we had up here were Milton Bradley games Yeah, your sons of Sons of Hercules is the Milton Bradley Adam's Family card game is the Milton Bradley Racco Here's our great Milton Bradley game Did I replay this? No, not at all I just remember the commercial that was just so neat and everything Did you buy it because the commercial was so neat? I got it as a Christmas present I know, I've had some I'm sorry, I never played this game I played it a lot I played it a whole lot Geez, thanks for this present Yeah, write that thank you note now Because I know there was things like this police service had such an impressive commercial I bought it Well, I didn't buy it, I begged for it or something You didn't buy it? The green ghost down there Well, how did we get things when we were kids? Are parents didn't buy us stuff? No, you had to wait for Santa And you had to wait for that birthday? Or your grandparents Grandparents, yeah, and then you had to be really good But like green ghost down there Looks spectacular Glows in the dark, really does glow To this day, this game will glow in the dark It's probably the dumbest game It takes four hours to set it up Because it keeps falling down It is just, oh, it looks good on TV It looks great And you know this You know, green ghost just brought us in mind Of a lot of those great occult games That they had out there There was the Ouija Board There was Kabbalah There was the Barnabas Collins game And then there was this haunted house That I know they used to have But yet I have, I don't Somewhere out there, there's this haunted house It's not the Walt Disney haunted house game It's not the haunted house games that are out now No, this is an old one that was out when I was a kid And it was like this big haunted house And there were ghosts in the closet And there were just all kinds of things And I'm almost sure it was a game But it was great And I never got to get one Because it was just so darn big But it was a neat toy And I remember it I just don't know what it was called So if you know what that one was called Write and let us know Because I sure don't And if it's not the one that it was I'll say no, it's not that one Because I'll know that it's not Because I remember all the other ones that came out But yet I don't remember what that one was called You know games where there were scary things Behind the door beside Mystery Date I guess you didn't play Mystery Date Well, do you remember the commercials? My sister used to play Open the door to your Mystery Date Basically like there's like four guys That just are it And then there's like this one guy That looks like a pig farmer On a bad day Like he spent the day In the mud with the pigs And if you got him Oh my goodness, your life was doomed Because you know Mystery Date Was really, this told you Who you would really be able to marry Or something like that Your whole future was decided on Mystery Date Which white boy would you date today? Did they have a black version of Mystery Date? Or was it all white boys behind a white door? Well, we could get into the whole Racial, stereotypical thing of games But that's not what we're here for We're here to talk about games And by golly there were There were some ideal games That were just incredible There was Mouse Trap Mouse Trap Did I deal with the one that blew up? Kaboom? Kaboom? I believe they did Terrifying games Well see, ideal just kind of got into this thing It was like they had Mouse Trap Which basically you had this Contraption to Go through all these All these different things Just so you could catch this mouse And then there was Crazy Clock Which was, well all of them were Rube Goldberg-esque And Crazy Clock was truly Probably the most Rube Goldberg Esks of the Three that I'm going to mention here Because it starts off doing You turn a crank Mouse Trap actually started off turning a crank But this one you do something and it ends up This candlestick comes over and hits the guys Putting these springs out of the bed And it's just all this stuff they go through And then there's this one Fish bait Not to be confused with jail bait Let's see, I don't know if we can see the fish here Well it's that green thing So we can see the fish Okay, there's the fish right there Gotta keep this level This appears to be a game that Not so much to play the game But to play with Yeah, well that's all three of them Were pretty much like that But let's see if we can Get this thing to work Who actually knows the rules to Mouse Trap Oh my sister does because she got it Hey, that marble's not moving off of there Marble Jam, marble jam Okay, marble jam Let's get them all down here And so that means the last one Didn't get down from here Okay, come on, come on Marbles you, I think it's not level Okay, that's what it is It's not level anymore All the marbles get into the boat Oh, and the man flies off The boat into the fish's mouth Of course this type of fish just spit him right back out Because he tasted nasty Tasted like a person or something No That's kind of like that Jaws game Shark, you throw all the junk in and Getcha, and that's it for you And here's this one, skillet The frying pan maze Or you've got this lovely This lovely skillet shaped thing And it's um It's a maze, it's amazing It's amazing, you got a marble in there And you got to try to twist it To get that marble Start marble here, twist the cover And pull the marble out Here Here and here Oh no, and if you don't That marble just gets washed in there Ha ha ha ha Oh, what fun And you didn't need people around to play it with No, you could just play this one all by yourself And this one I think was one of the First of the puzzle games As far as puzzle games go Because then they started having all the puzzles That you could put together Different things and everything The Soma puzzle Which had a charming little commercial with Henry Gibson Soma do and Soma don't And I'm convinced that because I played Soma, I could now play Tetris Like, all night There's the same basic shapes There, and such Like Ha ha ha ha ha ha And there's Drive Your Nuts Which was a circle thing And it had um Numbers on these Plastic nuts And you had to turn them You had to arrange them just so that all the numbers Were matching Every time that Touched another one, the numbers had to match So it was Just an interesting thing It's in many pieces now So what did I do? Well I went to the store and looked at one It was put together and I wrote them down And memorized it Of course I've forgotten it now I enslaved over that thing To get it right He cheated I had the solution there And I put it away, I mean I never did get the game though Nobody ever bought me the game Well because you cheated I did get the books out of Rubik's Cube To figure out how to do it Although I knew some kids And they just sickened me to no end They could just take the thing You'd mix it up anyway you want And have that thing back together in no time I had just gotten to the point Of being able to figure out slidey puzzles I mean I know the solution to those But these kids could do a Rubik's Cube So that's like three dimensional slidey puzzle And well I got like I was just Obsolete me for my time Was that planned obsolescence? No it's not planned obsolescence It's just working on something For so long and finally getting it right And then realizing That the world has gone on without you That's what that was Then Well we were talking about Ideal in their noisy games Well this is an Ohio art The maker of Etch-a-sketch and all that There was a thing out called time bomb Where you had these little Borson Natasha black bombs With a red fuse thing on the top And you twisted it and it would click And you'd throw it back and forth A circle of people and you'd throw it all around And then when it boomed Or actually it clicked On the last person That person was out and you kept going like that Well Ohio art came out with Another thing that was along the same line Spudsy Spudsy is a hot potato Well Spudsy is a hot potato but He worked the same way you had to wind him up And he was ticked and you'd toss him back and forth You'd toss him back and forth He rented people that don't want to hold him at all Like you're stuck with him And you'd toss that guy around Whoa And The thing is You'd have to be caught with it When the time went out Whoa And if it did Well you're out Spudsy is now A soft thing He's like a pillow or something It might even be an electronic ticker In there or something But Spudsy for everybody Spudsy And that face always Just reminds me of Nipsey Russell too That's totally Nipsey you got a lot from here buddy I had the point but anyway Because you ain't got a career Okay now Down front here we've got A few other games Let's see over here I've got A movie trap You can't say that on TV I can say bra I can say movie trap But not in the same sentence Oh that was a fun one And basically here you had these Circular discs That you had to pull out Of the spring loaded thing And then it blew all up at a certain point Got all over the floor and you had to pick it up You tried not to move While you were taking the pieces out It was the next person's turn But then you tried to get them Without making the whole thing go crazy And all of them fly out And that was just a whole fun A movie trap They kind of mechanized it now And they call it perfection But it's the same kind of idea Except for perfection you don't have so many pieces To pick up off the floor Well perfection too You're trying to get them all into the thing And then stop the thing Because otherwise they'll all just spring out It's like 52 pickups Except there's only 20 pieces Oh then there's the game of life Which I basically begged for Because they had such a cool song You can learn about life If you play the game of life You sure can, you learn that life sucks That's what you learn And the game of life I always kind of equate the game of life with monopoly Because they both had little houses No there's little cars in that Well there's houses on the board But you don't win them or own them They're just there for decoration Well then there's another game that had houses too Which was there's Monopoly Which had little red houses And no green houses And red hotels Monopoly taught me that I would be Poor all my life There was another game too that had these little Two story houses which was neat And I can't remember what that game was Two story Monopoly It was like a rich bitch Monopoly I don't know Whatever it was but this when you had little cars You could put up to like six little pegs of people And they're stay alive the survival game Stay in alive No no different Different I'm the sole survivor That was a little Hook in that commercial that Gets you to buy it And there were things like And we're getting weird Signs to us Those base people There was that ice game where you'd knock the ice out I think that's on scene And there was Kerplunk with the Bango Bango Cootie I never thought of Cootie as a game Anyway we gotta shut up I reckon it's time for us to just stop Talking about toys and get the heck out of here But next time It'll be all of us again It'll be a TV show TV Something like that I forget I was at the meeting But there was live music Oh I hear it'll be Dick Van Dyke A voice of Mark comes from somewhere Dick Van Dyke Can we say that on TV? Sure they said it for years So I guess we can We'll probably say it a little bit On the next show Life and life and life That'll be next time So this is Wilbert Yeah not somebody And we'll see you then