 How toxic are your Asian parents because this TikToker is going viral for having a bone to pick with her dear mother. Yeah, this one sparked a heated debate within the Asian-American community. Let's play the video from TikToker, handi nut Cheerios right now. I originally thought I had to get a husband in order to experience the true extent of weaponizing competence. But then I moved back home and I realized that I've actually been subjected to it my entire life because I have immigrant parents. Because now that I move back home, it's like my parents forgot how to do any basic tasks and problem solving. Oh, and their excuse? My English is better and I was born in the States. But the thing is their English isn't bad. So how are they doing things like reading the mail for the last five years before I moved back home? And I get it right. Technology these days is really advanced compared to dial up internet. But why do I have to book their online appointments when they both have smartphones and computers? And I understand that I'm very lucky and my parents sacrifice a lot for me to be here. But I'm just so tired of hearing my name being echoed throughout the house at least 20 times a day just because they refuse to spend more than 30 seconds trying to figure something out for themselves. Whoa. Hey, honestly, that's new vocabulary to me. I had never heard the terms weaponized incompetence. And of course, Andrew, there was a lot of people going against her, but some people going forward too. I want to say maybe it was a generational split. Yeah, I do think it's generational and I think it also depends on a few factors. Anyways, we are going to break it down. We're going to have this discussion here. So please do us a favor, hit that like button right now. If you guys like our videos and how we break things down. Are her parents more toxic or she more ungrateful or possibly Andrew, let's be honest in the court of law, like Judge Judy always says, the truth sometimes is somewhere in the middle. Maybe her parents are toxic and she's ungrateful. And maybe it's a commentary on Gen Z, but some Asian parents are not the best Asian parents. I mean, I think what she's saying is not unbelievable. I think it definitely does happen honestly in some families. But I think the way she said it, she said it in kind of an annoying way. And I think that really like rubbed people the wrong way. Although I think a lot of people understood what she was trying to say. So I think to me weaponizing incompetence, meaning like your parents are when you move home, they just, they just nag you to do a bunch of things or they shut their brain off for tasks that they were able to execute prior to you coming back home, right? Exactly. Like they can actually weaponizing incompetence to me is when your parents can actually accomplish it. It won't break their back to do it, but they choose not to. And then use you for your like, I guess, I don't want to say free labor, but you know, as your chore, but also, I mean, I'm sure there's different levels of weaponizing competence. Let's just assume under this guys that this concept is very real. Andrew, couldn't you be at a zero to three, three out of six, six to nine? Listen, every parent has asked their younger child for help on their iPhone, on their Android, on the computer to some extent. Oh my gosh, how do I work Facebook? How do I like we've, I've helped mom with that stuff too. But yeah, different parents. It really depends because it depends on the harsh situation that your parents come from, I think, which is also going to build empathy and sympathy from your side. Also, it's times the incapability they have of navigating new sides, like let's say they're really bad at English and they're trying to navigate something in English. So of course, they're going to need help, right? And then also another factor is how often they exercise this request from you, right? Right. How often are they like hitting that button? Yeah. How often are they bothering you about it? Basically, um, how much of it is that kids just need to suck it up because obviously in the comments section, especially from some of the older people, they're like, shut up. We all went through it. What you think you're the only person with Asian parents. But obviously it's tough to say, right? Because everybody, a nine out of 10 weaponizing competence is way different than a three out of 10. Like I said, man, I think she just sounded kind of whiny, but she's trying to make a point here. Anyways, guys, David, uh, essentially the comment section is split into two main groups against the TikToker and agreeing with the TikToker. A lot of the people who came out strongly against handing out cheers were older, right? Because probably what they've been through it themselves. They felt like I never complained. I never even complained to my friends, let alone social media. I hate Gen Z. So it's interesting because a lot of the older comments came from the Instagram post off of Nex Shark. And I know that they're older because I actually know some of the people who have upped comments on here. So I know that is a older audience. And then a lot of the comments that we're agreeing with her were actually off of her TikTalk page, which I do believe is a younger demographic and also maybe not even Asian. I think some non-Asian kids from Latin backgrounds, from Latino backgrounds, they relate to this. Yeah. So anyway, let's just get into the comment section real quick. These are the ones against her. They said, clue one is the Taylor Swift shirt. Oof. The incompetence is crippling. Andrew, this is kind of a referendum on Gen Z, right? People saying, look at you. You're so silly. You're like, this is what Gen Z. They just complain about everything that the previous generations would just accept as life. Right. Right. Right. Somebody said, that's the price you pay for living in your parents house. Somebody said, what a bozo. Someone said, man, I know we got our own battles, but strong dislike of this sentiment. Somebody said, am I actually watching something real right now? And somebody said, there's no difference than a lazy person doing chores bad so they don't get asked to do it. But I guess that comment could have applied to the parents or the kids to be honest. Would you consider those things chores like the ones that she used in her TikTalk, like do those count under the, well, you live in my household, so you have to do some chores. And this is part of the chores. I think the way she described it, she definitely didn't build the strongest case against her parents. Right. Like it didn't, I don't know. I'm not saying that maybe there was some example she forgot and she like left out or she didn't want to say because they're like too condemning or whatever like that. But you would have to say Andrew, in the video that she made, she did not make a compelling case for herself. Her parents did not sound toxic enough. I know that there are toxic Asian parents out there. There are toxic all types. Right. There's a whole Reddit form based around it. Of course. But, but it just didn't sound that toxic when she explained it. All right, Andrew. How much is it that people went through her TikTalk and we're going to air some of them right now? She has a lot of rants complaining about a lot of things. Yeah, I think she was also kind of, she also kind of went viral for being the person who complained about doing work at her job for the next two weeks just because she put her two weeks in and she was complaining like, wait, are you supposed to do just as much work in your last two weeks even after you let them know you're about to quit? Right. It seems like she as a TikTalker is no stranger to set in the comments section on fire. Right. Maybe she likes it, right? It's the gravity, it's the magnetism. Yeah, I think and then here's a lot of people who are siding with her and I actually think that they're of a younger demographic, meaning that their parents are also younger. Maybe their parents are more around the 45 to 65 year old range. And I think a lot of people who are in their 30s who have parents well into their 60s and 70s, they don't feel for the TikTalker. Okay, okay. Do they not feel for the TikTalker because the older generation of Asian parents that are more old, old school are less toxic? Or is it because we're processing it differently and we're more just accepting like, hey man, this is just the immigrant kid life. It ain't going to be smooth like we just have to accept it. I think if your parents come from a really rough background, they built themselves up from nothing. Maybe they're refugees. I think you're going to have so much more sympathy for them. So of that generation and a lot of those who came over during that time and in that situation, a lot of them are probably 70 plus right now. They didn't even party at all. Do you think it's true though that her parents maybe partied a little bit? Maybe went to a few raves? Yeah. I heard of younger Viet parents going to raves, like 50 year olds. So I don't know. We don't know. Hey, listen, I'm not discounting it. I'm sure the blame is on both sides. Also, she did note that she is a single child. So I think that also changes the dynamic a little bit because they're all relying on her. Right, right. Totally. Like we said, I think everybody's like judging it off a TikTalk and making assumptions about how somebody's life is due to the shirts they're wearing and stuff like that. I mean that's human nature, but it's not fully right either. Somebody said, I feel this in my bones. I don't have immigrant parents, but my dad does the same thing. It kills me and it makes me hate him a little bit more every single time he does it. I'll hate him a little bit more. Yeah, what is he asking you to do? Hey man, we don't know. Like we said, somebody's saying it has to do with parentification and codependence. I've been there done that still going through it as the children of immigrants. We got to break the cycle for our own happiness. So do you think, I mean, it's so variable, right? Person to person, case to case. I would never tell somebody in a blanket way to, oh, you're so ungrateful, but I would, you know what I mean? Like it could just vary family to family. It doesn't matter a lot about what the kid wants to do with their life because let's say the kid wants to stay around that hometown and live life with their friends. You mean they live at home too? Yeah, and they live at home or they live around nearby in the vicinity that they grew up in because they enjoy that local life, then they are going to be asked to do more favors for their parents. But if you're a child who is like seeking something else in life and you're like, yo, I got to leave town to pursue this in this career, like I'll crash on somebody's couch. I don't care. Then you're outside of the environment. You literally cannot help them except by via phone. So I'm saying the expectation changes depending on what you want to do with their life. And that's why a lot of people are saying, hey, if you move back home and you don't know what to do with your life, you are kind of leaving it up to your parents to ask you to do a bunch of stuff. Right. Like how are you going to go to college, become so modern and learn all these like modern progressive things? I'm sure you're around a lot of high income white people in college, you know, that you see their life and you see their interpersonal relationships or inter familial relationships. And then come back to your home that you know was like that and then expect that they're going to be modernized too. Like your parents just went through undergrad in the US. I'm not saying that her mom isn't kind of crazy because I have to be thankful. Our mom's not like that, but we know some that are. I know. Sure. Man, I saw some parents. I was like, yo, I'm so glad that is not my mom. Like, you know what she said? She said, and it just feels like my mom is trying to own my life. You know what I mean? Like over my life. That would be more understandable. Yeah. No, for sure. I mean, like I said, it could be her particular instance that is true for that. Andrew, long story short, man. What's the takeaway? You see people arguing. You see people judging her. You see people defending her. This is tick tock. It's a multi variable equation, man. I know that sounds very smart. I'm trying to sound smart right now. It's a multi variable equation because like I said, man, it depends on where your parents come from, how much you respect where they took your family. Right. If they're refugees and they came up, built a great business, built a great family, you kind of owe them maybe a little bit more. That's that's a fair feeling to have. Also, it depends on how capable your parents are. If they are fluent in English or you know, they're mentally all there and they have worked professional jobs and theoretically they probably need less of your help. Right. And then it also depends on what you want to do with your life. If you have if you are unimpitious and you're lazy and I'm not saying she is, I'm just saying if she is this girl that she all she wants to do is make tick tocks at home and live with her parents, then you are subject to under being under your parents. You're saying except the pros and the cons packaged combo like that you can't parse out. We don't live with our parents. I don't get to benefit from the free food all the coming home to like doing our laundry. We didn't live at home really since we were like 18. Yeah, we haven't lived at home for a long time. So I'm saying I'm not, you know, I don't get our parents to do our laundry all the time, cook for us all the time, clean the house all the time, you know, do little errands for us all the time. Right. And they don't like so we just have to do everything on our own. But also with that, I have freedom from them. Right. Right. Hey, like we said, guys, there's always pros and cons and maybe it's a referendum on Gen Z because people are saying, yeah, Gen Z, look at them. They just want all the pros without the cons thinking they can have the perfect best life, best of everything. That's not how my life was. With that said, David, could her mom and parents actually be kind of crazy? Yeah, absolutely. Totally totally possible guys. Like we said, a lot of things when you chat plot chart, like 10,000 100,000 reps, you're going to see like a whole distribution. Yes, like it could be anywhere disclaimer. If you have a crazy toxic parent, it is possible entirely possible. Yeah. And look up the words in that case, look up parentification and codependence, but don't necessarily over apply it to your life. Some of it's just going to be chalked up to it is what it is. I mean, I don't think growing up in a second generation immigrant family. I'm not saying all the time, but like it's not easier than being a multi-generational American. For sure. For sure. That's smoother. For sure. Yeah. Also, I think a lot of people just don't like the fact that she's just on TikTok, like calling her mom crazy, calling her mom out for like no reason. You know what I mean? Like she's just like, Hey, handy nut cheer is likes to mix things up. Yeah. She's definitely so cowgirl. Anyways, guys, thank you so much for watching. Please let us know in the comments down below what you think about this. Are your parents toxic like this? What are the factors that depend on it? If you live under their house, are you just subject to this? Or can they actually be abusive? Some parents are. So I'm sorry to hear that, but let me know in the comments down below what you think. Hit that like button until next time. We out. Peace.