Daddy's Girl - What happens to too many homeschooled daughters in the US...





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Uploaded on May 14, 2010

Please read this before commenting.

This video is a caricature. This means that while the relationships in this clip are disturbingly close to real life in some families, they are exaggerated. Since some people have trouble with this concept, let me spell it out plainly:

The father in this video has bought the patriocentric lie popularized by Vision Forum and others that he is the prophet, priest, and king of his family. (BTW, the Prophet, Priest, and King is Jesus.) He has a 30-something daughter at home, and he has raised her to believe that her only "Godly" role in life is to get married and bear children, but that she can only marry with his blessing. Meanwhile, she must "learn to serve her father at home." She occupies her time pampering her father and building her trousseau. Not surprisingly, dad is not eager to find a young man to break up his wonderful little world, and all suitors are rejected: they are not rich enough, not "mature" enough, not good enough looking, not doctrinally in agreement with the family, etc. The poor girl gets older and older, less and less nubile, and there is no hope for her to live the life that her own parents convinced her that she must live in order to be a "good Christian."

While I said this was a caricature, it is disturbingly close to real life. An ATI father of 5 that I knew once said that he would never let his 27 year old daughter marry - because that would break up his family. The point of this video is to make people think and make people like Mr. Urban (the very real jerk I just told you about) realize that they are being selfish assholes and not Godly Christians. The amazing thing is the number of people who see this video as an attack on Christianity or on homeschooling. IF (emphasis of IF) this video represents Christianity or homeschooling, then I am against it!

I am not against Christianity (the real thing) or against homeschooling (the real thing). I am not against parents instilling their values into their children - in fact I understand that this is the reason to BE a parent. What I am against is the current patriocentric paradigm where A) a girl is taught that her only calling is to marry whatever young man her father either approves or finds for her and bears his children, while B) the father either passively or actively ensures that this never happens. It is normal for parents to think that no one is good enough for their child, but these patriarchal families take it to the extreme, and the girls are trapped between a rock and a hard place. God is not the author of this confused paradigm.

Also before you write, know that I am a second generation successful homeschooler (meaning I have been homeschooled myself, that my older kids were homeschooled through to college, and my younger kids are still homeschooled). I *probably* have been involved with homeschooling a LOT longer than you have. I resent that whackos have hijacked what was once a reasonable movement and claim to speak for all homeschoolers. They do not.

In summary, if you meet someone that reminds you of the abusive "dad" in this video, RUN - particularly if he tries to assert spiritual authority over you in any way.

Now you read it. You can hate on me, call me effeminate, and do all those other things you wanted to do. It will give you five bonus points at your next homeschool convention. (You get bonus points for posting imprecatory prayers about me!)


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