 What's shakin'? My name's Cam. Welcome back to another video. If I time this video correctly, if I've done it right, it should look like I have, since the last video, magically grown my mustache back. Yeah, that's right. It's back. Come on. Don't pretend like you don't like it. Anyway, super handsome facial hair aside, I'm stoked to be doing another r slash writing video today. These are super fun to do. You guys might remember the meanest critiques one. That was both hilarious and kind of sad, let's be honest. And today will probably be much of the same because today we are talking about the worst experiences meeting authors. Have you ever met an author? How'd it go? Let me know. Now, I personally, I have met two really famous authors in my life and both were wildly different experiences. Most recently, I hung out with Veronica Roth and her husband for an afternoon. That was about two years ago. It was really fun. Long story short, I was invited to interview Veronica Roth at the Writers Festival where I live. It was her first time in Australia and it was my first time doing an interview, especially for someone so prolific. It was a huge haul. There were hundreds of kids from different schools like primary schools, high schools, that kind of stuff. I was supposed to keep Veronica Roth talking for 14 minutes about her divergent books and specifically how we thought that it engaged younger readers, etc. I must have been sweating like a nun at a strip club because in the green room it was actually Veronica trying to relax me, trying to chill me out. The thing is, I had like 500 pages of questions for her to do during the interview but I was still terrified that I would fly through them way too quick and then I wouldn't know what to do. I thought it would just be like me and her on stage in front of hundreds of kids, everyone staring at me waiting for me to ask the next question and me flipping through my notes like an idiot. I was really scared but she's a pro. Obviously she's done plenty of interviews in her life so she took her time and she was really, to be honest, she was really the one holding the reins on that whole thing. If I'm being honest. But yeah, the interview actually went really, really well except it was meant to be filmed. Of course, me being the lucky person I am, my interview was the one interview that didn't actually end up getting filmed due to technicalities. Hanging out with Veronica and her husband for the afternoon, I just sat there and chatted with them while she was signing books and honestly it was one of the best experiences of my life. What I can say for Veronica is that she is an incredibly down-to-earth woman. The other time I was meeting George R. R. Mutton and I was dressed as a clown. Unfortunately, that is not a joke. I was doing a bit of cosplay at the time. The first and last time I ever did cosplay, I was dressed as the Joker from The Killing Joke like a very iconic comic book. And funny thing, true story, 100% true. I actually managed to give George a bit of a scare. The poor guy, he was like, you know, signing, he had a long queue of people to sign shit for and he was signing the stuff. As I was walking up, he just, you know, pulled across the next thing for him to sign and started signing it for me. Didn't see me until he looked up and then he actually like, he jumped. I get to officially say that I scared the guy who wrote Game of Thrones. So pretty cool. Those are my stories. The only two stories I have of meeting or at least meeting really famous authors. But let's see what Reddit has to say. When I was in high school, I met Essie Hinton, author of The Outsiders. She told us to call her Susie. She was pretty fine and normal during the presentation she was giving. But during the meet and greet, she got a bit awkward. You can tell she's kind of socially introverted. In my teenage enthusiasm, I ran forward and told her that I really loved her book and that her writing inspired me to be an author. She took several steps away from me and just said, Oh, yikes. Not gonna lie. I would probably be thinking the exact same thing if someone came up and told me that my writing inspired them to make a career out of writing. I'd be tremendously flattered, but you know, yikes. Absolutely true story. When I was 21 in 1980, I went into a bar in Sayacaba, New York. The people that I work with told me that John Knowles, the author of one of my favorite books, A Separate Peace, was sitting at the bar. None of my friends actually cared, but I thought it would be cool to approach one of my favorite authors and let him know how much I loved his book. Soon after introducing myself to him, it became apparent that he was interested more in me and specifically having sex with me. I'm not homosexual and I wasn't really interested in having my first homosexual experience with John Knowles. As I was about to walk away, he cut to the chase. Let's go back to my place and fuck. I said no thanks and walked back to my friends. Nevertheless, it was an interesting run-in with one of my favorite authors. God damn. Can you imagine going to reread one of your favorite books and the entire time in the back of your head, there's a voice saying, Hey, hey, hey, what? Remember that time? The author of that book? Oh my God, the replies. He wanted to take you to a separate place. Come on now. I went to see Oscar Wilde, dude just laid there. But seriously, his grave is surrounded by glass that is covered in lipstick and love notes. Damn dude. I guess you could say that's pretty wild. Okay, oh jesus, the comments on this one as well. The grass is also slick with semen. Desgaustang. My fiancee and I met Andrei Sapkowski, author of the Witcher novels not long ago. He paused midway through the audience questions to go to the toilet, and when my fiancee asked him for a second handshake for a photo he said, once is enough, we're not fucking. The funny thing about that one is that I can imagine Geralt from the Witcher saying that, once is enough, we're not fucking yaskere. I have heard that Andrei is a bit of an arse, apparently he's a bit salty about the success of the Witcher games because he asked for like a lump payment rather than the royalties, because he thought that the games would fail. How about recently? You know, where he said that the video game is stealing book readers from him? God, if that's true, what a dumb arse. I know for a fact that his book sales would have exploded since the games and especially since the show. As I approached Amy Tan at a book signing, I decided to smile big and make eye contact. She didn't like that. I got my book signed after a rather hostile glare, felt like a dummy and yet I kind of understood. Tons of fans probably do this, hoping for a tiny connection and it's gotta be annoying. Used to work in publishing, she is a bitch. I can understand how draining it would be to be a celebrity having to interact with so many people one after the other. It genuinely would be tough. I can sympathize with that. But if it is a planned event like a book signing, suck it up dude. You have a responsibility to show your fans how grateful you are for their support. RL Stein once told me I asked a dumb question. I was a kid asking about Goosebumps. Oh well that's… damn it, that's disappointing the hair. David Cedaris called my wife a whore in the signing of my book. Oh well that might be a good place to leave it. I think. Have you ever met an author? Did it go well? Did they call your partner a whore? Let me know. Or how about this actually, if there was one activity that you could do with any author of your choosing, alive or dead, who would it be and what would you do? And don't say anything naughty, don't be horny. Personally I think it would be pretty cool to like have a beer and play a game of pool with Joe Hill, I think that'd be pretty sick. I have plenty more r slash writing videos in the barrel so if you like this, think about subscribing. Or don't. I'm not your daddy, I'm Lance. Thanks for watching, I do hope you have a nice day, or else, catch ya.