 Zelo vidim, da je policija vse nekaj, tako da je tako, da mi vse pošli. Vsi nekaj, da se vse poznalo, da sem nekaj nezaj, da sem nekaj, da sem nekaj nezaj. Zelo da se vse nekaj nezaj. Posnimo se na to, da se tudi zelo. Prvisno, bomo še začal, da si izgleda na vrštine inelnosti, da sem vse inočila, da se zgodilo. Tudi, da tega je vrština, da vrštine imaš vrština, da se izgleda na vrštine inelnosti. Zataj, da se izgleda na vrštine, da se izgleda na vrština, da se izgleda na vrština. Ko je z vrština, da se izgleda na vrština, Vespoživam 11 hroče, kaj je tukaj, kaj je plen, kaj je kar. In je bil vse. Vspoživam ljubnje zelo, ljubnje zelo. Čekaj, pač. Čekaj, pač. In imam tudi profesor v sekoložiji v South and Federal University in Vostov-Oldon in Rostov. V South and Federal University in Vostov-Oldon in Rostov. CESTE MAREVO, FORMAT DE NITRATORA. De beste psikologi bili vžde dostojevski. Cejna grvi sem vlodnje tudi, kdo je grecko. Če greti da se cestiti vzpat. Ere o srpiv'kaame derjou. V drugoj vzbate kgd. A to, ato z baterem maželjom v prvzile v naste, je tudi čekaj, da je reakcija na trauma, tudi v prvzile v prvzile, je tudi reakcija na trauma, kaj je nefinite, kaj fi in do reakcija da traume kompleks. Jel su si ideja, kaj otupuroja rekuzionalitati na cizista je de facto otupuroja postraumanica in otupuroja rekuzionalitati. Kaj je se priprosil na Armada, in tudi sa akistemem de postraumati, postraumetik, cipitijski. In je se priprosila, da se priprosil na cipitijski. V mojej presunetej te sendefapt v formu reakcije tudi u konek, s tega travnja. Neliske, refremi tudi pravno seko, ki je kama se stranuje. Zelo sem imeljno izboril. V srečnih lektju v Viziji, vse je tudi o konceptu vsev. Vse je tudi občasno, o klasičnjih personalitaj, v odolesnih. Mojne vojago nakeljet despre tuburiljate personalitate v deti tih, na odliščenci. Ko putem diagruzika tuburiljate personalitate v bordeljaini, da je izgleda odliščenci? Kaj pa stavimo z drugu vzpočenče? Protoče se vzpočenče vzpočenče? Kaj pa stavimo vzpočenče? Po te, da. Ko je to zelo? In prvi inči. Ko putem inči vzpočenče? To je druga vzpočenča, da pa. A sava fija doa, al doa temade milo. Ila trej, al trej ilateljet, pa fin despre, čine este normalno. Če se nas fi normalno. I am convinced that all of you are convinced that nobody is normal. Everybody, everyone is a little crazy. Where is the line, where is the thin line separating normal and healthy from this ordered and ill? So this is the third lecture. Today is a much more theoretical lecture. The next two lectures are much more practical, much more hands on. This lecture is highly theoretical. How do you know that I exist? Not physically. I exist physically, I assure you. But how do you know that there is somebody inside? How do you know that I have a mind? How do you know that I feel that I am? How do you know that I feel that, what's your name? Marina. How do you know that I feel that I am Sam and not Marina? How do you know that? The answer is simple, no? Because I tell you so. It is self-reporting. Self-reporting. I report about myself. Self-reporting, I am telling you. The concept of self, the concept of self relies 100% on self-reporting. Theoretically, I could be a robot from the future. Chinese robot. I could be a Chinese robot from the future, and I could be programmed to tell you that I have a mind. Or a self. You have no way to make sure whether this is true or false. We have no access to other people's mind. We make assumptions. We say, they look like our mind. They tell us that they have a self, so they must have a self. If I asked you for a loan, over 100,000 dollars, those of you who have this kind of money. If I asked you for this loan, you would say, you have this kind of money. If I asked you for this loan, and you had the money, would you give it to me? I report to you that I will give you the money back. I am giving you a self-report that I will give you the money back. I am telling you, I will give you the money back. Not one will give me the money, right? You are not lies. I really need the money. You don't want to give me, no problem. The only case, the only case we accept what people tell us, 100%, without thinking, without doubt, without questioning. The only case is when people tell us, I exist. If I tell you anything else, you will have doubts. And I mean anything else. You will have doubts. You will question. You will go on the internet. You will do something. But when I tell you, I exist, I have a mind, I have a self, you accept immediately. There are three concepts in psychology, which are, and I am trying to be very gentle, questionable. Which are, at least, self, individual, and personality. These are three concepts that are invented out of thin air, invented from air. They are not validated by any research or study on the very contrary. They are invalidated by almost all the studies we have in psychology. The concept of self dates back to the 1920s and 30s. And continues well into the 1970s, called self psychology. The concept of individual is much older. And the concept of personality is a bit newer. And all three are complete nonsense. Anyone who has experience with other people, anyone who works with other people, anyone who works with clients as psychologists, anyone who has a family, anyone would tell you that people are not fixed entities over the lifetime. The self is stable across the lifespan. In the theory. But there is not a single human being who is stable across the lifespan. Individual means divided from people. Individual means differing from other people. But there is not one human being who is divided from other people. And the personality is a stable pattern of traits, behaviors, cognitions and emotions over the lifetime. There is no such thing. There is absolutely no such thing. There is no human being whose emotions, cognitions, traits are stable from baby to the grave. If the self, the individual, personality and nonsense of which they are if the individual, personality and self are the same and they are. In the sense that they are counterfactual in the reality that does not exist. What do we have instead? What can we have instead? And this is the topic of today's article. Today's lecture. People are not lakes. People are not lakes. People are rivers. People are like human beings are like rivers. Human beings are dynamic. They flow. The landscape changes like the valley like Heraclitus said, pantavim everything flows. You cannot step inside the same river twice because it's on the same river. The water has changed, moved on. So human beings are rivers, not lakes. And using this simile, using this metaphor we can begin to discuss an alternative to the concept of self. First of all I recommend that you somehow get access to this book Dissociation and Dissociative Disorders. Editors are Dell and Omen. It was published, I think, in 2009 but it is still the best book ever written on dissociation. We'll come to the issue of dissociation later. 3 3 scholars that I recommend that you start your journey with these people. Philip Bromberg who is the author of the book Dissociation and Dissociation and Dissociative Disorders and Dissociation and Dissociation and Dissociation and Dissociation Philip Bromberg Dante Cicchetti Sometimes I think that people become psychologists because they are traumatized by their own names. I mean imagine, you are a child and you are called Dante. Of course you become a psychologist. So Dante Cicchetti and Michael Rotten. Before we go, before we come to the alternative we must know what are we throwing into the garbage. What is it that we are discarding and replacing? The self The self is formed according to old theories. Now I am talking about the old theories of the self. The theories of the self that we are still teaching in universities in some places, not everywhere. So the self forms is created via a process called integration. Young called it constellation. Young called it constellation. So the self either constellates or integrates depending which school of psychology you are. This is not my work and it is not the modern view. It is not historical background. There are two pathways two ways to constellate and to integrate. Two ways to develop a self. One is called introversion and involves narcissism healthy narcissism primary narcissism not the kind of narcissism that is pathological later in life. Not Donald Trump, for example. So introversion and narcissism it is one pathway and we come to it in a minute. And the second one is separation individuation. Let's start with introversion and narcissism. According to Jung and Jungians in general the child creates a picture of himself and of the world. He creates a theory of mind about how other people work how the minds of other people work. The clinical term is mentalization and he creates a theory of the world how the world works and then he sees himself in the world because he is the observer and he begins to pay attention to himself suddenly he realizes he didn't know it before he thought maybe that he is part of mother but suddenly he realizes oh, I exist and then he says oh, I exist and he falls in love with himself basically Freud called it autoeroticism. So he falls in love with himself and he starts to study himself it's like he has a new toy me me and he forgets everything he is inside himself introversion and this is done via narcissism it's a narcissistic reaction self-referential this is one thing even much more important is separation individuation important separation individuation is a concept in object relations theories melanic line there are two phases of separation individuation in life 18 months to 24 months and when you are an adolescent in both cases you separate from the parental figures and you become an individual but for the self for the formation of the self only the first separation individuation is important you will say in a minute that separation individuation is the mirror image of introversion narcissism when the child is 18 months old those of you who are mothers can confirm about 18 months old between 18 months and 24 months the child begins to explore the world the mother is a safe base it's called a safe base in clinical theory so the child is holding mommy's leg and then he lets go of mommy's leg and he walks three stairs and then he looks back is mommy still there is mommy still there the child has object constancy as we know the child is moving object constancy and then the child turns around runs back to mommy and it's moving If you are 18 months old, then you need to leave money behind and go and explore the world. You need to be very brave, very courageous. Imagine, 18 months old that the only safety in the world is your mommy and you let go of it. And you run away from mommy and you explore the huge world. To do that, you need to be grandiose. For a baby to do that, the baby needs to be grandiose. He needs to feel that he is godlike. For the baby to separate from mommy and to explore the world, the baby needs to become a narcissist. And some of them become politicians. So these are the two processes that create the self. Because when you walk away from mommy, you create a boundary. Separation. You begin to realize that you are not one with mommy, but you are two objects. And you create a boundary. Now, if the mother is selfish, immature, narcissistic, absent, impressed... Selfish, immature, narcissistic, etc. This is called, in clinical terms, dead mother. Andre Green invented the phrase dead mother. So if the mother is dead, emotionally dead, the child cannot separate. The mother is blackmailing the child not to separate. And this sabotages the formation of the self. The child has one very big need. The safety to become. You think food is important? It's not. We have experiments where children were not given food, but they were given a lot of love and tactile skin-to-skin contact. And they were perfectly happy. Children don't need food. What? Children don't need food. Children don't need food. What? They need food. But that's not the main issue. The main issue is for the mother to allow them to become. If the mother doesn't allow them to become, they never have a life as adults. And so they remain stuck with infantile regression. If you are not allowed as a baby to separate, then you remain part of money. And there is infantile regression. And you remain baby, you remain infant. With infantile defenses, like splitting, splitting, the psychologist, splitting, when you see everything, bad, good, right wrong, dichotomous thinking. In termics, psychology discourages the behavior of thoughts, discourages the emotions of behavior. And this is a behavior of infantile, discourages infantile. Yes, not only comportment, but there are defenses. In the sense that you, for example, you would not be able to see the world as integrated, but you will see the world as bad and good. Everyone would be bad or good, right or wrong, evil, always you divide everything to two categories. Never gray, never in the middle, never nuance, no nuances. This is not splitting. This is very interesting. Why? Why babies who are not allowed to separate from mommy, develop splitting? Dissociation is dissociation. No, splitting. Splitting is like dividing. We call it dichotomous thinking. Thinking in dichotomy. Much better. Thinking in dichotomy. Why? Because if mommy, if I'm a baby, and mommy doesn't let me separate. I become very angry. I want to separate. But mommy doesn't let me. I become very aggressive. But I cannot think that mommy is bad. She is frustrating me. She is making me aggressive. But I cannot say that mommy is bad. Because I need mommy. I need mommy for food, for shelter. I need mommy. I cannot say that she is bad. She is very frightened to say that she is bad. I am bad. So, I say, as a baby, I say, I am bad. It's my fault. And this is called bad object internalization. I internalize bad object. But if I am bad, mommy is good. I accept. This convention means that mommy is good. Splitting. And this is dichotomy. Mommy is all good. The baby is all bad. And for the entire life, that person believes himself or herself to be bad. And for the entire life, that person believes that he is bad. Unworthy. Unlovable. This is the classical theory. This is historical theory. Now we come to the latest developments in psychology. It is the idea of dissociation. The new thinking is that when the child is frustrated, when the needs of the child are not met, they are not fulfilled. The child is so traumatized that he will try to forget, cut off and forget the frustration and the hurt and the pain. In this new school. But it's not so new. Everyone in psychology likes to think that they are big revolutionaries. Because many psychologists are narcissists. Don't tell anyone. But revolutionaries are not narcissists. But revolutionaries are not narcissists. But revolutionaries are not narcissists. But revolutions are rare. Evolution is much more common. Actually, long before this new school, this is the school of dissociation. This new school is the school of dissociation. Long before this school, already there were scholars who were thinking in terms of dissociation. And they were known as British object relations. So long before the dissociative school, there were already scholars who said that the baby, when he is frustrated, breaks apart. Breaks apart. Breaks apart, literally. So for example Winnicott, Donald Winnicott, who was a pediatrician. Winnicott came up with the concept of false self. When the baby is confronted with a dead mother, when the baby is traumatized, abused, instrumentalized, used, instrumentalized, arentified, forced to act as a parent, not a child. When all this happens, the baby breaks up simply. And Winnicott said that the baby invents another self. And that other self is the false self. And in narcissists, in adult narcissists, the false self is the only self. So adult narcissists don't exist. Adult narcissism is not about presence, it's about absence. There is not one thing that is covered. Canber suggested that borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder are forms of absence. He called it emptiness. He said these people are empty. There's nobody home, there's nobody there. Instead there is a false self. A piece of fiction, a theater play, a movie. But there's nobody there, except the movie, except the theater. Kjer, bojarki, sprenala, kaj tuburara na acististe de personalitate še tuburara borderline de personalitate sem majnud despre absenza, v sensu, kaj nu je nimik, kaj nu je ekstam zsine, je ekstam, je on zsine faz, na kaj se raportazil personali, kaj avče se tuburara. When the baby is confronted with such massive frustration, when the baby is not allowed to become individual, the baby dissociates. But the baby dissociates in highly specific way, not in everywhere, but in highly specific way. Okay, before I go to the baby, to the dissociating baby, I will give you the definition, the modern definition of dissociation. Dissociation is a destruction in all internal processes. Discontinuity, destruction in all internal processes. Emotions, cognitions, self-perception, everything is destruction. And it is experienced in three ways. Amnesia amnesia is a form of dissociation. Depersonalizare, the feeling that you are not there, you are not you, that you are an observer, and derealization, the feeling that you are an observer and derealization, the feeling that reality is not real, that you are in a nightmare or some surrealistic landscape. This is classic dissociation. There is a fourth way, and the fourth way is the baby's way. Babies forget, they dissociate, they forget, they have amnesia. We don't know if babies depersonalize and derealize because we cannot talk to them. But we know that they forget. However, there is a fourth mechanism and this fourth mechanism is unique to infancy and adult noses. A strong proof that adult noses are actually babies. Anyone who had a narcissistic partner knows that it is absolutely true, they are babies. So, this fourth mechanism is what Freud called at the time fantasy defense mechanism. Fantasy is a form of dissociation. Why? Because we escape reality by by reality we escape reality and we create an alternative reality a virtual reality, a metaverse another reality that the clinical term is paracosma. So the child creates a very powerful fantasy and because mother does not allow the child to become an individual in reality the child becomes an individual in the fantasy. We call this compensatory fantasy. Everything the child is not in reality he is in fantasy. The false self of the narcissist is a fantasy defense. It's a fantasy, it's a paracosma. In reality, the baby is helpless. The false self is omnipotent. In reality the baby cannot guess, cannot predict how the adults will behave. The false self is omniscient, all-knowing. Fantasy is the major form possibly the exclusive form dissociation in children who have dead mothers. So the false self is a special case of an imaginary friend. You know that children have imaginary friends. You have it in horror movies like with Stephen King the child has an imaginary friend which is actually a demon. But most imaginary friends are more benign so children have imaginary friends. As long as the mother allows the child to separate the imaginary friend is what we call a transitional object. You know the babies who hold the teddy bear? Or favorite pillow? Or favorite blanket? These are transitional objects. It's transition from merger, fusion with mommy to separation from mommy and the world. So the imaginary friend is a transitional object. It makes the child feel safe to take on the world. If the mother does not allow the child to separate the imaginary friend becomes permanent fixation imaginary friend becomes fixated and in narcissism it's called the false self. And in the end the child makes self false. Everyone is frustrated by mommy. There is no such thing to not be frustrated by mommy. When you are 12 months old mommy you cry and mommy doesn't give you to eat you are frustrated. You are crying and mommy leaves the room. You are frustrated. Mommy sleeps you are frustrated. Mommy has a life. And this life is dynamic and not under the control of the baby. So frustration is inevitable. All babies are frustrated. Those who become healthy and normal, and those who become mentally ill, they are all frustrated to begin. And you remember that I said that frustration, hurt, pain, trauma, they cause dissociation. Frustration of all children generates frustration. Here is what happens. The baby starts off as a unity with mommy. Unitary entity baby mommy mommy baby it's one thing that is well established with experiments. That's not a psychoanalytic dream. So he starts as mommy baby then he wants to separate he is frustrated. He cannot control mommy for you. Object constancy is threatened all the time. So he dissociates. If the frustration is minor the dissociation will be healthy. That's healthy dissociation. And it will disappear and the baby grows up and becomes adult. The dissociation will disappear. However if the mother is what Andrei Green calls dead ones that's assisting selfish insecure selfish and secure demanding let me leave if she is this kind of mother if she is this kind of mother the dissociation will rigidify, will become rigid. And you will have this kind of human being totally broken inside a thousand times a thousand dissociations this is what the inside of analysis looks like this is what the inside of a borderline looks like and so we will have severe dissociation this leads to the next innovation in psychology which is now what I'm telling you right now is the main the new school that is emerging in the West so this is the latest you're getting breaking news from CNN it's the latest each one each segment each one of these lets make it a little more let's assume that there were four massive dissociations each of these dissociations each of these dissociated states each of these dissociated parts comes with emotions effects comes with affect emotions comes with cognition comes with memory comes with beliefs about the world et cetera so each of these powers is a scheme so these are schemas those of you who know or heard of schema therapy schema therapy is based on schema theory the belief that people have organized units of emotions, omniscience, memories, beliefs, values, etc. ce kar ato zide sve terapia prins schema este ača terapia kaj te zepunem to v sve kaj avem scheme separati de emocii amitie še prati meni te deske ljud so a broken dissociated person will have multiple schemas but these are not schemas like in schema theory these are self states in schema theory each of these has emotions, cognitions, beliefs, values, theories, memories the self state has also aggression the self state has also aggression and coping strategies why because the baby is angry you remember the baby is frustrated is very angry and so the aggression remains there attached to the schema so each scheme has aggression and a way to cope some strategy some attempt to cope adaptive scheme scheme that is built is called a self state the first function of the self state is to protect the child because the child is protecting the child I want to emphasize again we are talking about pathological development in healthy development the child will have self states but of a different nature I am right now dealing with pathological development the first job is to protect the child the child is under attack the child is not allowed to become an individual he is not allowed to put boundaries if he puts boundaries he is punished if he refuses to play the role that the mother gives or the father give him he is punished and he is not he doesn't receive unconditional love he receives conditional love he receives this kind of child receives the message I will love you only if you perform in a certain way if you do not perform this way I will not love you you are lovable only when you perform you are lovable only when you perform your performance is lovable not you so the child needs to protect his child and we see this in pathologies like narcissistic personality disorder borderline personality disorder we see the protective function of the cell state so the narcissist is afraid of narcissistic injury or narcissistic modification narcissist or narcissist or narcissist modification narcissist modification modification narcissist narcissistic injury is when you challenge the narcissist narcissist thinks he is God he thinks he knows everything he thinks he is all powerful he never makes mistakes he is perfect in narcissist it refers to when you propose to the narcissist when he doesn't believe he is God he doesn't believe he is the best the most beautiful so if you disagree with the narcissist if you criticize the narcissist if you correct the narcissist if you offer help if you offer help for the narcissist if you give the narcissist advice that's narcissistic injury narcissistic injury narcissistic modification is even more severe it is when you shame the narcissist in public in front of people that are important to the narcissist the self states of the narcissist protect him from injury and modification the self states of the narcissist protect him from injury and modification we will see how a bit later similarly in borderline the borderline is a friend of two things borderline borderline is a friend of two she has anxiety she has two types of anxiety and she has two types of anxiety abandonment anxiety she is afraid to be abandoned and rejected anxiety of abandon she is afraid to be respite or abandoned and engulfment anxiety she is afraid to disappear she is afraid the department will take over her and she will vanish engulfment this is why borderline borderline typical borderline until recently we thought that most borderlines are real which was very convenient for male psychologists Mi je to saves. Tavaj si je, da mi je to kot, dobro. Here is no trouble. Don't have to anything. In, for convenience sake and because I am a man I will use a woman as an example. Ok. Zato je to, da je bobe linja, izgledaš ti. Že je intimacija, izgledaš ljud, izgledaš fekšen, izgledaš regulacije možnosti in možnosti izgledaš partnera, izgledaš partnera in zelo je tudi skupnjena. Oh, sorry. I did that. Iga vrsta o tom, o persojeni, o persojeni tudi gostovati, daj tudi se teabondazil, s apropi dne v dragoste in then. Intimitate pre-intimitate and then. And then she approaches and then she stirrfaj, because she feels that her partner is too important. Apoj se sprije, preimportan, kontrolzna. If he goes away, she will fall apart. So she rejects him. She approaches and avoids This is called approach, avoidance, repetition, compulsion. This is called compulsion of approach and repetition. When the borderline is threatened with abandonment or rejection or engulfment she uses her self-states in self-defence, in protekcija. No, we will come to it. By the way, the clinical term is not abandonment anxiety. Everywhere you will see abandonment anxiety. Online, books. That is not the clinical term. Klinik, oficijalist, aksetata z separane insekrati. So, abandonment anxiety, separation anxiety, these are popular terms. They are not clinical terms. We have many such situations. For example, the word codependent is not a clinical term. It's not a clinical term. It's a media term. The clinical term is dependent personality, so. The first function of the self-states. So let me summarize in two sentences and we continue. Baby, mother, frustration. Mother refuses to allow the baby to separate and become individual. Baby has aggression. Cannot externalize the aggression, cannot attack mommy. Attacks himself, internalizes the aggression. Melanie Klein calls it the depressive schizoid stage. Depressive schizoid. Why? Because when you internalize aggression, it's a good definition of depression. Depression is a form of internalized aggression, but we put it aside. So, internalized aggression, the baby breaks out. Dissociation. And creates self-states. Every baby creates self-states. In the new theory. In the new theory. Every baby creates self-states. We don't have a self. There's no such thing as a self. We have a collection of self-states. Like a library. Videotec. Bibliotec. Bibliotec. We have a collection of self-states, like a library. And then whenever we need, we go to the shelf and we take the relevant book. And this is the new model. In pathology. In pathology. The self-states have a special character. Have a special? Character. In pathology. In pathology. In pathology. In pathology. In pathology. In pathology. In pathology. In pathology. Another one. They are protected. Not in healthy. In healthy people, the self-states are adaptive. You need. There is a new environment. You need a self-state. You go to the shelf. And you are in a new environment. You go to the shelf. And you need a self-state. In pathology. The self-states are protective. In pathology. In pathology. In pathology. In pathology. In pathology. In pathology. In a healthy individual. The self-states. Never compete. And so. There are differences between healthy self-states and pathology. So. In pathology. In pathology. In pathology. In pathology. In pathology. The self-states are disregulat. In pathology. In pathology. In pathology. They are disregulated. The self-states are not regulated from inside. They are not regulated from inside. House. It's in house. That's why we call this low organization or disorganized personality. We say, other lines have low organization in nekako ne zelo. Protektiv, kompetitiv, dysregulativ. V nekako nečo nečalizirajske prišlične vrste. V nekako nečalizirajske prišlične vrste. V nekako nečalizirajske prišlične vrste. Velikoj se zelo, da je zelo vrste vrste vrste, in kao zavskega turita, veka nisem in ozdea koralej s teori. This is a very new theory, but the beauty of this theory is that it has all the elements of Freud, of Jung, of all previous knowledge is included in this theory completely, totally. So, in essence of this theory is that all the concepts of Jung, which are in Freud, of Jung, are integrated in this theory. My contribution is that I took this theory to another level, I will explain at the end in a few words. But let's first understand the field. The contribution is that I took this theory with a more important level, so I will explain it to you at the end. In a healthy person, healthy person looks like this. Search day, search day, search day, search day. There are also several theories. We don't have a single set, that's nonsense. We change dramatically in reaction to environment. We surprise ourselves. How many times did you say, it's not like me? It's not like me, I don't recognize myself. I can't believe I did this. You didn't do it, another search day did it. Remember that the search, this is healthy. Remember that the search states were created via dissociation. So they are dissociated. Because they are dissociated, they do not share all the memories. They do not share all the experiences. Even in healthy people. In one environment you use search state number one. You remember what is search state? Emotions, omissions. Agression, coping, shelter, sub-state. So it's like almost total personality. It takes over. You are in some environment, this is best, this is optimal solution. So number one takes over. And search state number one has the experience. Not search state two, not search state three, not search state four, only one has the experience. And because the dissociation is partial, is not full, there is some sharing of memories and experiences. Some common database, but never 100%, never even 60%. We know this when we study memory. Starting with Elizabeth Moftus and others, we know that we don't remember that we don't remember. Within 24 hours you forget 50% of all data. Within one year you forget 90% of all data. When you are asked to remember, you confabulate, you create stories. In 9 out of 10 cases, 9 out of 10 cases, these stories are not true, they are wrong. 9 out of 10 memories you think you have, 9 out of 10 believe that they are wrong. They are not true. You say why people disagree on the fact about what happened. Now we know the number, we know that it's 9 out of 10, mainly because of experiments by Loftus and others, starting with Loftus, Loftus was a pioneer and others. Where we followed, she and others followed people over periods of one year up to five years and administered questionnaires. There is a famous experiment which demonstrates the connection between trauma, dissociation, search states and memory. 9-11. When the terrorists attack the Twin Towers in New York, when the terrorists attack, teams of psychologists interview people on the street and they ask them, where were you? When the towers collapsed, what were you doing? Who were you with? Where were you going? A year later, the same people were given the same question. Less than 10% of the memories a year later were the same in the event. Less than 10% of the memories were the same a year later. This is 9-11. Even such a mega massive trauma is not enough to overcome dissociation. You must accept that you are not one person. There is no such thing as you. There is no self. It's nonsensical. It's against all the studies we have. You must accept that you are much more than you are. You must accept that you are much more like a network. More like the internet. With copies of copies of copies, redundancies. So, this is a health occasion. And in between, there is partial, permanent association and defense mechanism. Why do you need defense mechanism? Because reality, if you allow reality without filtering, without reframing the self-states will not be able to function. The self-states are organizing organizational principle and hermeneutic principle. The self-states are organizational principle and hermeneutic principle. The self-states are organize the world for you and they make sense of the world. We call this hermeneutic principle. It's a principle of explanation. So, they are not only organizational, but they are hermeneutic. They give you meaning. But here is some unpleasant news for you. The world is totally meaningless. And you are totally meaningless. Meaningless. It's not exactly not important. Meaningless. There's no meaning. And even I... It hurts me to admit that I'm meaningless. There's no such thing as meaning. No such thing as sense. No such thing as goals or directions. These are all narratives. Stories. We are storytelling species. We are made of dreams. If a reality is allowed to penetrate it, we will lose our essence. Our essence is inventing meaning. Viktor Franta. Inventing meaning. We need to invent meaning, but to invent meaning, we need to falsify reality. And we falsify reality through defense mechanisms. We refrain it. We refrain it. By defense mechanisms. Defense mechanisms are dissociative because they take us out of reality, away from reality. All defense mechanisms are dissociative because they suppress reality. And they are the glue that holds the search takes together in a meaningful way. In a way that gives us a narrative. Story. What's the difference between healthiness and sickness? This is the healthiness. In a healthy system we are able to falsify reality because we recognize it. We get a correct signal, a correct reading of reality and then we process it. In pathological system we get a wrong signal. We get the wrong reading of reality. This process is called cognitive distortion. We are getting reality in. Reality is coming in to the system but it is filtered. It is filtered as a membrane and it comes in wrong data. So what? What's the problem? There are two problems. Because the reality comes in in a wrong way you are not self-efficacious. You can't act when in reality. Self-efficacity is the ability to act in reality and to act on reality to obtain beneficial outcomes, good outcomes for you. Is the ability to act in reality and on reality in order to obtain good results, good outcome. But if your input is wrong you cannot get, you cannot secure good outcomes. You learn gradually to not trust yourself. If you don't as a mentally ill person you learn to not trust yourself. In the second problem you have impaired in impaired reality testing. Your perception of reality is wrong. In impaired reality testing. In impaired reality testing. In impaired testing of reality. In effective testing of reality. Ok, I will test that as a deficit. So the system looks the same. Which explains why narcissists can deceive you. Many victims of narcissists say he looked totally normal. He was so good, so nice, so kind, so caring, so... Because from the outside the system looks identical. Serve states, defense mechanisms, everything looks identical. But the input is wrong. You take two televisions. If you put too much electricity one of them will explode. So the input is wrong. And so through the cognitive distortion there is a situation where someone like the narcissists for example is operating in reality in wrong way. Many mentally ill people make a decision and say, I cannot trust myself I don't understand reality properly. I don't act in reality self-efficatiously. So I will ask other people to do it for me. The borderline wants her intimate partner to perform all these functions for her. The narcissist wants people to give him input about himself. In order to regulate his sense of self-worth. These mentally ill people they outsource their ego functions. They use other people as their ego. They actually don't have a functioning ego. They use other people as ego. And this leads us to the understanding that self-states are not self-contained. They are relational. In fact they are internal and they are related to other people. The self-states interact with other people and with the self-states of other people. In healthy people your self-states and my self-states will interact to generate good outcomes, mutually beneficial outcomes. But if an anesthesist my self-states will become parasitic on your self-states. Because narcissists are stuck in infancy. They are symbiotic. It's a phase in childhood called symbiosis. Narcists are symbiotic, borderline is the same. They are symbiotic, they are like parasites. They need you to regulate their internal environment. And because they take over you they cannot accept you as external. I want you to understand this. This is totally science fiction horror movie. I want you to understand this because it seems to be science fiction. Two healthy people the self-states of the healthy people resonate collaborate interact and then they go narcissists, borderline are not like this. They take your self-states they expropriate they steal your self-states because they are parasitic. They have no existence without other people. And then they use your self-states as their self-states. So they cannot accept you as separate. Because if I took your self-states and they are mine now you don't exist you don't have a self-state anymore. They are mine. They cannot accept you as separate because they were not allowed to separate as babies. They cannot accept that you are separate because they were not allowed to separate as children. Narcists and borderlines have no experience of separateness. They don't know how it is to be separate. They don't know what it is to be separate. So the minute they see you they want to merge with you to become one, to fuse. Now we know for sure that self-states don't exist and don't operate on other people. And we know this because we studied pathology. It's a Freud. Freud studied only sick people. But he created the theory of healthy people. And he studied the pathologies of self-state. Hoping that the opposite is healthy. You remember what I told you that the narcissists and the borderline they come to you and they steal your essence. They steal your self-state. There is a clinical name for this. Everything I'm describing sounds like Hollywood but it's clinical psychology. So it's a clinical name for this. Internalization, introjection. The narcissist internalizes you and then he converts you, he changes you into an internal object in introjection. This is seriously creepy. So the borderline does the same. They create an internal object of you like a photo, snapshot, avatar like a photo of you and then they say this is the real, you're not real your photo is real. So there is confusion in external and internal objects. The narcissist let's assume that narcissist is interested in you is an intimate partner. The narcissist is interested in you as an intimate partner. He is interested in you as intimate partner. So the first thing he does it takes a photo of you. Mental. Mental. I call it snapshot. It takes a photo of you. Then he puts it in his mind he makes it an internal object. He is confused. He thinks the internal object is real and you are not real. And he continues to interact exclusively with the internal object, not with you. This is internalization introduction. Now, you are all psychologists I hope you can give me an example of confusion between external and internal objects not in narcissism. Don't be afraid. Can you think of a situation where someone, a patient confuses internal object with external object? Remember, the narcissist thinks that external is internal. He makes mistake. He thinks external is internal. Can you think of a similar confusion between external and internal but it's not narcissism. You are only in state of shock. Psychosis. Psychosis is psychotic disorder. The clinical term today is psychotic disorder. Psychotic disorder. In psychotic disorder there is the reverse process. The narcissist confuses external object. He thinks it's internal. The psychotic is exactly the opposite. He confuses internal object with external. He thinks his internal objects are external. So how is all this connected to self states? Self states are objects, internal objects. Self states are internal objects and we see in pathologies we see that internal objects are intimately linked with external objects. This is the mind. This is the mind. These self states are internal objects. And we see in narcissism in borderline, in psychosis we see that internal objects somehow are connected to external objects to the point that they are confused. The pathologies are showing us. The pathologies are teaching us. That self states are connected to external objects. They are relational. Take away everyone around you. You will not feel that you exist. You will not feel that you exist. The emergence of you depends on object relations. Depends on other view. If we isolate a baby which is a bit unethical lately If you isolate a baby completely there will be no baby. There will be no under. The interaction with other people is what makes you. You are not this. You are not this. You, me not such a thing. That is not true. You are this. This is you. This is a vent diagram. This is called a vent diagram. So, this is you. The relationship makes you. Other people make you. Take away all the other people in the world. There will be no you if you are a baby. There will be no you. We have cases, of course, of children who grew up in forests. They are called feral children. Children who grew up with wolves and tigers. We know that they didn't have anything resembling of themselves remotely. Not even remotely. Nothing. It's well documented. So, we know that other people are critical for the formation of self states. So, we know that they are critical for the formation of self states. So, we know that they are critical for the formation of self states. So, we know that the others are critical. They are very important for the formation of self states. I'm shortly coming to the end of the lecture. OK. In pathologies you remember that in pathologies the self states are receiving the right food. They are not receiving correct data, correct information about reality. So, the defense mechanisms cannot operate properly or they give crazy results. So, these are the self states in pathology. These are the self states there is dissociation here. These are the defense mechanisms in reality is coming here but there is a filter. For example, grandiosity. Grandiosity of the masses is a filter. OK. These are the self states in pathology, in reality, but they do not go through the filter. For example, in anesthesis grandiosita, grandoara grandoara grandoara, OK, grandoara. Grandoara. The narcissist is not receiving the narcissist is not receiving correct information about reality. Because there is a filter here grandiosity and the filter distorts reality changes it. So, the defense mechanisms are not working properly at some point the defense mechanism receives so much garbage that they stop function, they don't work. Because the defense mechanism are receiving garbage wrong information from the environment from reality this is called confirmation bias this mechanism is called from that because of that they stop working and we call this decompensation at some point the mechanism stop working because the mechanisms are not working reality is not filtered is not changed there is no processing of reality and the self states get in direct touch with reality this is how borderlines describe their feeling the borderline says I don't have a skin I'm skinless I feel everything immediately on me yes the defense mechanisms are shut down and so she experiences reality directly the self states are not built to cope with reality without defense mechanisms they don't have to do that so they borderline or the narcissist apologize people they act out there is a process called acting out acting out is simply switching from one self state to another self state and then rewriting an imaginary reality for the other self state so I'll give you an example that's a borderline with four eyes this is a borderline part of no no no that's a borderline with four self states she has filter yes, she is not receiving correct information she is not receiving correct information from reality for example she thinks the partner is about to abandon her but he's not going to abandon her it's wrong but she believes she receives wrong information from reality her defenses are so overloaded with junk wrong information is junk the defenses are so overloaded they stop working decompensation at that point the self states get in touch with reality and the borderline has no defenses she is defenseless 11% of borderlines in this condition commits suicide this is how badly we need defense mechanisms 11% commits suicide for huge number the others create a new reality they create a fantasy remember dissociation fantasy defenses dissociation they can't tolerate reality so they cut off reality they dissociate actually in the diagnostic and statistical manual dissociation is a criterion diagnostic criterion of borderline they dissociate reality they immediately create a fantasy compensatory fantasy and they select they select another self state so they were here and they switch it's a process called switching they switch to another self state this self state why? because this self state is better adapted for the fantasy now in 90% vast majority of cases borderline borderline would switch to another self state that is clinically not the borderline but a secondary cycle which is borderline and is characteristic of other cycle secondary cycle to become psychotic not psychotic, psychopath psychopath that is another type of borderline so borderline compensates would create a compensatory fantasy and would choose a psychopathic self state not a clinical psychopath but a secondary psychopath it's another type, it's called fact or two psychopath but it's a psychopath it's a psychopathic psychopathic and this is what we call acting out in acting out borderline would become violent aggressive borderline aggressive promiscuous reckless take risks she would be she would become totally different a second self state would have nothing to do with the first self state it's an example of the self state system in action I haven't mentioned in 5 minutes my contribution to this emerging theory in 5 minutes I will tell you my contribution to this emerging theory and then those of you who survived if you feel like asking questions I'm here there is of course like every theory in this psychology the self state the self state theory has problems every theory has problems I mentioned that the self states don't share everything they don't share all the memories they don't share all the experience so, how come you feel that you are the same how come you feel continuous you don't get up in the morning and say today I'm not me some of you may wish it rarely happens and it does happen and it's definitely apatology so there's a problem of identity disturbance that's a clinical term if the self state theory was 100% correct everyone would have identity disturbance you would not feel fully integrated you would not feel one you would feel many you would feel many there's problem number one and the second problem is what we call trade constancy some trades, not many by the way a lot fewer than you think but some trades exist in all the self states lifeline very few people think that they have trades and these trades are in every situation for life that's completely untrue most of your trades are unstable and very few of them if any survive life but some do for example I like to talk and I like to talk since I was 9 so probably it's a concentrate of trade how do you explain this if you have self states and they don't share everything how do you explain trade constancy so I came up with a new theoretical a new theoretical idea and I am now making the rounds in all the important universities in the world promoting these ideas so you can watch for example my symposium my colloquium at McGill University which is one of the leading universities in the west for psychology you can watch my colloquium there it's available on my youtube channel so I give a colloquium there about to go to Cambridge in two colloquium so I am promoting this idea and this idea is next stage of self states and this idea is pseudo identities again nothing is totally new nothing is totally new we have theories in psychology for example family system theory where they have sub personalities for example but pseudo identities is new to get to the idea to get to a new theory of pseudo identities which is probably the latest theory I think again I all my predecessors I studied pathology when you study pathology hopefully you get some insight into healthcare so I studied people with dissociative identity disorder and dissociative identity disorder is a new main for what used to be called multiple personality disorder don't ask me why every two years we come up with a new new term or new word for something that existed six years it's a hobby a hobby of psychologists they like to rename all the time so I studied dissociative identities in multiple personality disorder there is a central entity central core it's called the host personality host and you have many many pseudo personalities they look like personalities and they are called alters alters so some alters can be small children some alters can be big some alters can be different gender you could have a man who has multiple personality and one of the alters of two or three will be women the host the host personality decides which alter will be used in which circumstance so the host has a co-ordinative function and of course it's also protective like in all pathologies protective protective, relational competitive but in TIT in multiple personality disorder there is a coordination center there is a coordination center and there is no such thing with healthy people there is even no such thing with noses and there is no such thing with borderline only in the most extreme dissociation multiple personality we have a coordination center so how healthy people how do healthy people decide which self state will function your healthy you have four self states seven nineteen who decides, how do you decide who decides which self state will go out and take over I have never seen more criticism than this in my work I suggest that the self states the self states are organized in templates not my idea I am afraid young young suggested that in early childhood there is what he called the self care the self care template the self care template self care so I borrowed the idea of a template from young I didn't ask his permission the difficult but I borrowed it from you and I organized all the self states in a template what is the template meaning narrative the template is a narrative story so the narrative decides which self state will become dominant in multiple personality disorder it's not the outside that decides it's the inside in multiple personality disorder there is an internal structure that decides which self state will be used in multiple personality disorder there is an internal structure that decides which self state will be used in multiple personality disorder there is an internal structure that decides which self state will be used in all other people healthy and not healthy it's a cue it's an environmental cue it's a signal from the environment in all other cases in all other personality disorder it's an environmental cue it's a signal from the environment in all other cases information comes from outside organized in a narrative in a story it's a template and then a self state naturally reacts to react to a specific narrative so look at a long story my contribution is to say that self states alone is nothing but in my contribution is because of the fact that the self state is not enough but we need some states with context but we need some states with context so this together is called pseudo identity it includes the self states ego functions and probes, simulations extracting information from the environment and framing it inside another so it refers to information from the outside and it integrates in a story in this interior all the schools all the schools ever which deal with psychology with the personality and with the self the psychology schools that have solved the problem of personality fit perfectly here fit perfectly here everything you can imagine from Freud to defense mechanism to Jungian shadow to complexes, to cohort to dissociation school to self state everything fits perfectly into this this is like theory of everything in a way when it comes to Sonata so it also provides us with some therapeutic tools Frankel was very close Frankel was very close Victor my good friend Victor Frankel he was very close essentially what Victor Frankel said essentially was that we need a narrative a narrative that endows us with meaning so he was very close but he was not a structuralist he was like a more descriptive second tomorrow for those of you who are not too frightened by today's lecture tomorrow I am going to discuss the 10 or 12 aspects of mental illness in children and adolescents especially personalities there is a common misconception that adults are mentally ill children and adolescents are not or if they are it can be easily reversed regrettably that is exactly the opposite of the truth most mental illness is diagnosable already in early adolescents most of it some of it even in children and our ability to reverse or to intervene is already strongly impaired strongly handled at age I would say 13-14 there is nothing we can do with psychopathy by age 9 there is a disorder called contact disorder contact not contact disorder behavior contact disorder contact contact disorder is psychopathy for children there is very little we can do with borderline personality disorder after age 12 and actually it is diagnosable at age 11-12 but tomorrow I will try to go through the warning signs the red alerts many of them counterintuitive many of them would sound strange because early intervention is still critical but we need to catch these problems extremely early on Freud was a boyer and after that Freud and after that you they understood that therapists stand in for parents their parental figures transfer and if we catch the patient in adolescence we are faced with a very serious problem because adolescence is the second phase of separation individuation there is negative identity formation I am not going to be like my mother I am not going to be like my father negative identity formation and there is what we call reactance or defiance so a challenge to authority and there is what we call reactance or defiance so a challenge to authority if we catch the patient too late in adolescence too late is already 13-14 our ability to intervene is very limited so the early warning signs are critical and again many of them would surprise I have taught you enough thank you for listening