 Thank you for joining me as I sit down with Pastor David and Marie Rosales from Calvary Chapel, Chino Valley as we discuss marriage Raising children and managing difficulties that arise in the family. We're ready to begin. So let's talk marriage Well, you know as being a pastor's wife there's a lot of Assumed roles that people may think that you have Because you're the wife of a senior pastor. What would you say are there any roles that stick out to you? That people assume that you are because you're pastor David's wife. I Think that sometimes people think that if they can get to his wife they can get to the pastor and sometimes they want to be friends with you And and because you're the pastor's wife But but I think just coming alongside my husband has been very fruitful And I love the women that we have here in our women's ministry and I have wonderful women who who are servants serving as Other women in our church with a lot of Bible studies going on and and We've been I've been blessed beyond measure and it's been like I said, it's been very sweet time for us To see what the Lord has done and and who would ever thought I would have never thought John to come to this building I'm very grateful to the Lord and how he's used my husband Because I know my husband is a man of God and he loves the Lord with all his heart and he wants His church to be taught well to know the word of God and Is that amazing oh, it's It really is and it's gone by very quickly and Marie, you know, you think about our women's ministry It's a strong ministry. It's very fruitful. There's a lot of women that have That have lives have been transformed in our women's ministry. Yes, that's a testament to your leadership You know and the women love you they they're very precious and sweet and I love them and Our women are very very sweet John very very sweet and They are they love the Lord they really do and and they've sat under this pastor And That's amazing, you know, I could be replaced quicker than Marie and that's a fact, you know because It's not that hard to teach a Bible study. It really isn't you know prepare and hopefully you're anointed You know and and people will put up with people like me who like my wife just said I'm direct sometimes and I'll they'll put up with with me for the word but Marie Marie doesn't like to receive this because She's a humble woman, but I've told her I'm easier to replace than she is she has she has a tremendous Spirit of a loving spirit. I Think in all the years that I've known her and and I say this to her personally so this isn't hard to say now She's unique. I was just telling my sisters Madeline and Rebecca just last week. I said to to them. There's nobody like her, you know, I I married for me The perfect person the perfect person. I really did. I mean, that's not that she's perfect. She knows she's not Close right Marie. No, not even that. I am the perfect person You know, I don't want to give the impression that I've got some My head in the clouds and I don't know what reality is. Of course I know what it is. We've been together for enough years to know that neither one of us is perfect in that sense But for me as a man, there's no other person That I would like I would want nobody she is the perfect She fit in you know, she fit into my life as I fit into her It's she needed me and I needed her and that made us and so this church You know, you get a good teacher in here and the church will continue But if you don't have a good woman's minister to love and care for and minister to those women Women will make a choice. I'm not going to be in that church and the husband's because husbands often just follow mom because Mama matters and I don't need I don't need to you know Be there. I'll go wherever she goes. There are a lot of men are that way a lot of men have left our church Not to be negative because it sounds negative as I'm saying it, but it's true A lot of men have left our church not because they wanted to But because their wife decided they wanted to be somewhere else You know and I'm aware of that. I mean a lot of men come to church. The wife wants to go to In our fellowship I have a very unique woman who Never has felt and she'd say this for herself, but I'll say it right now Marie doesn't have the call to be up there teaching verse by verse. That's not her call Her calling is hospitality Her calling is she she ministers the gifts of the needs that people have she has a gift that that that a gift of helps and And and this loving spirit that she has john After all of these years that I've been around her and my brother told me if you're jealous don't be around Marie because she's a very loving person Um, it was true and thank god. I wasn't possessive and I'm not like that but She is and she Has taken the rough edges from me And she smoothed them with her kindness And so what I am now Isn't her work because my mom told her when we got together My mom told Marie your job is to make him into a good man My mom and Marie told me that I said that in your job and don't try it because it ain't gonna work You know and she knew better from the beginning It's not her job to make me into anything But in terms of our relationship her influence has been of such nature that She has helped me to become the man I am And that's what I think a good marriage does it helps you to be the best that god intended you to be So in my case with Marie As her husband I'm her pastor You know I'm her pastor. I've been her bible teacher Long before I was her boyfriend and pastor I was her bible study teacher first I became her boyfriend became her fiance became her husband became The father of our children the grandfather of our grandchildren all those are stages but We've been the word centered Not that we've been perfect and at god knows I've made my share of sinful errors god knows that Marie knows them all But the bottom line is is She has seen a consistency in me And I have seen a goodness in her that has made us who we are and so If there's anything I think we together add to this church is stability Because people can leave and go where they have to go Maybe they move to another state and they come back and they tell me on occasion when they do that You haven't changed a lot. I came home and and Came back to our church and you're still up there doing what you've done in the past and And uh this that gives me a sense of stability and um If there's anything we can add and Marie adds that to this church is It's that whenever this girl gets up there to share And and she does uh, she doesn't need the limelight. She doesn't need to be the center of attention She doesn't have that craving She just wants the lord to be glorified and the people to be loved That's a fact and that's what the women find here. She doesn't have to stand up there. She hands a lot of of Of mic time to other people You know that she hands it to here give a book report here or or introduce our guests there She hands her authority to others. She's not the kind of person who's got to be the center Everybody all you chicks follow this lead chick, you know, she's not that woman now We've known women like that. We we were talking yesterday without using names. It would be unfair to But I we were just talking about a very dear friend of ours Who the way we Marie met her was she was carrying in the pulpit That the guest speaker a woman the guest speaker had to speak from her own pulpit And she brought her own pulpit to one of our women's things many years ago And her assistant was carrying in her pulpit Picture and this girl was five two picture her carrying a Pulpit in putting it down. That's how we met this girl, you know, who became one of our dear friends for a long time um And and Marie came home and said, you know, it was odd today what happened and she shares that with me How that this woman had to have not only her own pulpit, but she had to have someone carrying it in for her And she hurt herself when she was carrying it as I recall and Marie told me, you know, she she heard herself and see Why am I telling you I'm telling you that because That's Marie's Marie style of leadership. John is making you build up not making you feel like she's special You know, and do you know there was a time John? Um Years ago now things have changed over the years, but we had over 700 women over 700 going to women's retreats Women's retreats we had to restrict the amount of women over 700, you know And uh for a church of our size at that time was almost a third of the church Was out at a retreat Because of what god was doing through my wife Because they knew that they would get great teaching great fellowship great worship And so no god god gave to To this church a special gift when they gave this church my wife because they know that they're gonna feel loved They are loved. They're loved, you know, Marie. Uh, I can I can say this for my wife You have and I can and you've in for pastor's sake pastors made me a better man You have made my wife a better woman and she tells me that and and that's just a small sample size of the many women here and so, uh I mean you're I'm blessed to to know you in a way that Uh, you know, I know you in a certain way and it's I'm blessed and you have Both of you guys have made our our marriage better. And you know, when you think of pastor david and Marie you always think that Pastor david wouldn't be pastor david without Marie and Marie wouldn't be Marie without pastor david You know, we're talking about this yesterday the matter of seconds, right? Uh, and it's just amazed how god has Made you both compliment to this ministry here. And that's amazing That's uh, one of the women asked Marie is how can the other women of our church Best support you in prayer. What were some of the things that? Oh, they can support you practically or and or support you in prayer Oh, how can they separate? Just continue to pray for us keep lifting up our our minute the ministry and continue to pray for the ministry and and continue to that Also that our fellowship will continue to love and pour out on other people Um, you know, I I do feel like we're in the last days john and um, and we and and there are a lot of people that Know the lord and we have wonderful wonderful servants that Are here and we need to go out and we need to be able to to share with people to bring them to the lord Because I I just really see that that's so important and um So that would be one thing I would think it's very very very important as um sharing god's word and and um With with people that we see just on the street Yeah, and um Being allowing goddess to use you and um and The result of them of my husband's ministry is is definitely that And Many many people do that here Many of them are love the lord and do share their ministry, but we we just I think it's times running short Yes, yeah times running short and sometimes we get um Involved with our own lives And uh, we need to look to the to what's outside Yes You know when I think of you guys of both you guys in your ministries that you guys are the women's ministry You lead in our church pastor, you know right now currently and this is a plug-in for our our uh sunday morning teachings Come join us for the book of revelation and uh, but as you're going through as you're gone through emphasis and you've gone through um smirna and Pergamos is pergamos is coming up I think each of those churches represent a period I think of our church I think we would be considered the loving church Because of the people who are watching or loving it, but again, it's a reflection of both of your Ministries and how you've loved the lord first Loved one another and have loved our church So by default we're gonna love, but marie. It's important as you're mentioning that we do The people gonna pray for Uh Pastor david and marie pray that our eyes open that we may continue to love You know, and so I that is uh, there's a lot of hurting people So many the lord so many Even who are watching so many in our congregation so many people that are hurting And uh, but you know another thing is that in and you guys may not recognize this you may There's a lot of love that pours out even when you're teaching pastor the conviction. Yes, but the love Uh and marie the love that you give the women again It's we're considered a loving church brother perkins was just here and he was telling david and I Your church is a loving church Again a testament to Our leadership and you know jesus said by this shall all men know that you're my disciple right if you have love for one another And um for for both marie and for me The idea of a church that's cold That's not a church You know I Francis schaefer once made it clear. He said that if there was such a thing as a birthmark For uh for a church before a believer That birthmark would be love and um In in the early history of the church one of the things that was said by pagans concerning Christians was behold how they love one another and so That to us is The most important thing I think that part of Part of when jesus said blessed are the peacemakers um The lord the lord put that on my heart Because I i'm a person Who seeks peace and unity I I am I I think that truth needs to be spoken and truth is what unites You know errors are the things that really divide truth unites when it's embraced, right? And so that's why I preach the way I do because I don't want I don't want to stand before the lord and and have the The condemnation if you will using that word in in this context that You didn't tell him the truth. You didn't tell him the whole truth Because in first Corinthians 3 when paul speaking concerning wood hay and stubble and precious stones That's really the teacher's reward. He's speaking about and and james told us that there are teachers that He said they that they teach with a with a wisdom that isn't really from above and he said therefore he said do not Desire to be teachers you'll receive stricter judgment. So for me, it's it's been an important a very important element of of Standing behind a pulpit. It's is to do my best to divide the word Do my best to present it properly and and yeah, I'm I you know There are some fantastic teachers and i'm not one of them john, but I I do want I do want people to know that there's a pastor up here who tries who wants to I do the best I can with the the The gifting and and and all that I have and and all But when they walk out I want them to be able to say You know, if there's one thing we get at that church. It's a bible study Uh, that's what I want, you know, and and if you if you love the lord God set us free if you love the one who set you free And then he's giving me so much like you see me on occasion You know people I think sometimes and I don't say this with weirdness. I hope it doesn't come out that way but I really am a thankful man for what God gave me. I really am Uh and and was I originally no I had to grow into this You know when marie met me. I was a confident arrogant young man, you know, I was you know Very but I think she was attracted To that strong young man who said this is what we're gonna do and this is how we're gonna do it And I know she was you know that that she said finally a man who's willing to be a man who's who's saying what he thinks and And and what we together should do. I know she's always admired that about me But at the same time Her gentleness and her gentle spirit and her tenderness of heart Has has taught me to be kind To be kind when I speak the truth to speak the truth with love and because that's important That's what you see after 47 years of teaching Is is is that that when I speak To this church it's because I love them and I know That that may be the only time I am able to to share You know with these people they may not come back. They may die during the week They may find another church to go to You know a story of D. L. Moody that has really directed me Was the night that he gave a A message with an intent to bring people to faith in christ But instead of closing with an invitation D. L. Moody closed by simply saying I want you to consider the things I shared And next week come back Ready to make your decision for christ. That's basically how he closed his message But that was the night of the great chicago fire And he never saw those people again and D. L. Moody said I I determined at that time To never close a message without giving an opportunity Well for me I have the same spirit Where I want people to know What is true I used to say if you don't like me, let me give you reasons why I don't want you to be a person to say I don't like that rosalas guy, but i'm not sure why no Let me make it clear why you don't like me and um because you know Jesus said you know beware of the ones who always speak well of you He said they're the ones to be aware of Because you know a man who wants to have other people like him is going to be willing to do anything to make them Like him for me as a teacher My responsibility is to speak the truth But to do it with love You know and so I I do love I do love my people now like I tell him john you know this you've heard me say this I I can't know every single person here. I it's just not possible that I could I won't know everybody's name. I won't know their occupation I don't always remember their name once they give it to me It's I I'm unable to do that But that doesn't mean that I can't make the best effort and my wife doesn't make the best effort To to to really care or to train people who can help them in their time of need I can't do all the counseling in this ministry. I can't do everything We have to work together to do it and that that's why I think the woman's ministry Is a backbone ministry in this church. It really is and that's why the pulpit ministry is to me a very The most important ministry is the teaching of the word of god But how you teach it and how you how you approach the people and I would never want someone to walk out saying He doesn't love me because I don't think they could really say that I may not do what they want me to do which makes them say oh, he doesn't love me Well, that's just that's just narcissism on their part to be honest with you Or maybe ignorance on mine But nobody can really leave our church john and say That that man didn't teach the word they can't they can't walk out saying well, that wasn't true worship They can't say that our worship team is anointed but god has anointed our worship team And as we sing to jesus you sense his presence, you know, they can't say the woman's ministry is A click filled with women who that's just not true I I really believe that god has blessed this church and and And one of these days when I Say bye, which I will do every pastor does Um, I will leave this church in good hands knowing I did our best And that's all you really need to know at the end of the day is I pour it out. I you know Like paul said when he closed 2nd timothy in chapter 4 ran, you know, I fought In and hence forces laid up for me a crowd That's what I want And that's how I work And then at these days How do I even respond to that with an offering laid at your feet right Give me a bucket. He's ready Now's the time to give right finally after all these years You know, these are Both what you guys can both answer What piece of advice would you pass on In marie, this could be geared towards you. What piece of advice would you give? To a new pastor's wife Oh, I Well, I would say um You need to have thick skin As a um You need to have thick skin because people will come up and say some things and sometimes there's stupid little things and and um But at the same time you need gracious and you need to be gracious And um, don't Don't let that bother you just continue to to to be gracious and I think that's really important for a pastor's wife Is to be to be gracious to to the individuals And um To love the people women that you that you minister to to be loving to encourage to Seek those that are new in the in the fellowship or just to be friendly Then there's something that I think That we all need to be is to be friendly but as pastor's wife you need to be friendly and and encourage the women and Be among them and would you ever imagine marie that you would be A senior pastor's wife. No, no, I was probably the furthest from my mind john I I know and I just knew that When we married I I knew that where he went I would go And that I would never leave aside and so It's been wonderful. I've met wonderful people I can't say enough john it's been a it's it's It's been a gift from god because I wasn't headed In that direction john when I went to that bible study I just I just went because I was invited and so I wasn't headed in that direction toward the lord at all And yet he met me there, you know, it was like I sat down and I for the first time in my life Heard a message a gospel message Because in the church that I was attending it wasn't I just sat and looked around at all the beautiful icons and So marie if if pastor were to be a truck driver Or an athletic coach, what career would you say if you wouldn't If you weren't into what you're the ministry you're now. Oh, I can tell you a nurse a nurse A nurse for babies or well, you know what john I think it would have been for the for babies or adults I did candy striping when I was younger when I was in college Um and um And yeah, and I was headed I would have been headed in that direction. I would I would have been a nurse And the trajectory for both your lives changed so drastically, right? Yes, I mean pastor, you're already down that road going already, but marie coming in And hearing the gospel isn't amazing that gospel that transformed your life In 74 is the same gospel that transforms lives today, huh? The lives that's amazing Well, you guys thank you so much for answering these practical questions I mean again, these are questions that people had answered a little different from what we're typically what we typically talk about But I thought it was fruitful to hear both your hearts and Hear what the lord has done in your lives and you know The the earmark and you guys will know the song better than I do They will know that we are christians the old song By our love And you guys have both demonstrated christ's love to our church To my wife To me So I want to thank you guys for where the lord has brought you both and thank you for spending the time today to Answer some of these questions that people had asked there We're so thankful church that we have an amazing pastor and an amazing marie Especially you're in chaladas. They're the best But you haven't eaten her chillerie I'm waiting and you know my birthday's march first Now those chillerie ranos take a little bit longer to I'm not gonna get not qualified. I will come through some but I will settle for your cookies. Oh those because those So thank you. Thank you guys so much and we love you. God bless you guys. Thank you Thanks again for tuning in Let's talk marriage is a ministry of calvary chapel chino valley If you've enjoyed this video, then please like and share it We will see you again next week on another episode of let's talk marriage