 The Jake Mene program presented by Lucky Strike. You'll find there's never a rough puff at a Lucky Strike. Just real deep down smoking enjoyment because L.S.M.FT. Yes, L.S.M.FT. Lucky Strike means fine tobacco and fine tobacco and smooth smoking go hand in hand. Now, fine tobacco like this costs more, and at the tobacco auction, Lucky Strike pays more. Millions of dollars more than official parity prices for truly fine, light leaf. This mellow, ripe Lucky Strike tobacco gives you a milder, more enjoyable smoke, from first puff to last, with never a rough puff. And veteran tobacco men can see Lucky Strike consistently selected by fine, light, naturally mild tobacco. Just listen to the words of an independent tobacco auctioneer, Mr. Al Rogers of Robersonville, North Carolina. Recently, he said, experienced buyers know what to look for when they're buying tobacco. And year after year, I've seen the buyers for Lucky Strike by fine, prime, ripe tobacco that's just right for mild, good smoking. I've smoked Lucky's for 10 years. So friends, smoke-to-smoke, tobacco expert smoke, Lucky Strike, you'll get more, far more, real deep down smoking enjoyment with never a rough puff. Yes, make your next carton, Lucky Strike. The Lucky Strike program starring Jack Benny, with Mary Livingston, Phil Amherst, Rochester, Dennis Day, and the sportsman for Ken and yours truly, Don Wilson. Ladies and gentlemen, this may come as a surprise to some of our listeners, but before this program goes on the air, it is rehearsed. Let us turn back the clock a couple of hours and sit in on today's rehearsal in Studio B. Okay kids, let's start. Mary? Here. Phil? Here. Don? Here. Dennis? Dennis? Hmm, Don, that kid always late. Well, now have to do it again. You know, Jacks and I think you've got a lot of nerve finding us a half a buck each time we're late for rehearsal. Phil, you have no complaints. Not only does it teach most of us promptness, but the fines I collect go to a worthy cause. That's right, Phil. Jack donates all the money to the SFAATTA. What's that? Society for Aged and Tongue Tied Tobaccoctioneers. It's my favorite charity. We have our country home at Goldsboro, North Carolina. The kid's still not here. Maybe my watch is slow. What time you got, Mary? Well, I left my watch in my dressing room. Has anyone here got a watch? I have, Jackson. Well, what time is it, Phil? The little hand is on the two and the big hand's on the four. Oh, for... Phil, can't you tell time? Oh, I'm sorry, Jackson. I answered that way from force of habit. I always tell my kids where the big hand is and the little hand is. Oh, why do you tell them that way? So they can tell me what time it is. Well, Mary, you asked him and told him. Next time we'll... Hello, everybody. Hello, Dennis. Dennis, you're late. I know. Here. Speedy'll certainly appreciate this. Now, Dennis, why weren't you on time? Well, I was out very late last night. I went to a drive-in movie. Oh, drive-in? What picture did you see, Dennis? I didn't see the picture. Oh. Ha-ha. You went... you went with a girl, eh, kid? No, I parked my car the wrong way. All the stupid... say, that reminds me, Dennis, two weeks ago, when you went east to play that benefit, you sent Mary a letter in which you said that you were in Philadelphia the birthplace of Benjamin Franklin. Yeah. Well, since then, I've had hundreds of letters from people telling me that Benjamin Franklin was not born in Philadelphia. He was born in Boston. Oh, no, no, Mr. Benny. He was born in Philadelphia. Look, for your information, kid, Benjamin Franklin was born in Boston, Massachusetts. He flew his kite in Philadelphia. Now, what do you got to say to that? Gee, what a long string. Dennis, the next time you go away, don't write letters, will you? Now, come on, kid, I'd like to finish rehearsing because Rochester is waiting for me in my dressing room. I want to relax before the show, so everybody can attend. The boss sure has been rehearsing a long time. He may want to take a nap before the program. I got his couch ready. I got his new General Electric blanket plugged in, too. I didn't think they'd send him one. Now, let's see. I think I'd better... Boy, am I tired. Hello, boss, tough rehearsal today. Yeah, everybody complaining. Phil is sensitive if you mention his drinking. Mary doesn't want me to joke about her sister, Babe, and our Dennis doesn't like me to joke about his being dumb. Gee, it'll be tough for you to get laughs at all. No, it's not that bad. There are other topics, you know. We can still talk about how cheap I am, you know. That's... that's always funny. Not to me. Rochester, you can stop with that. That's only something we kid about on the radio. I pay you a nice weekly salary. I don't know. I'm the only man in the world who can cash his paycheck on a street car. Look, Rochester... When I walk to my seat, I don't jingle a bit. Rochester, I'm in no mood for discussions. Now, I'd like to relax a while. Well, if you're thrilled with me, can I leave now? I've got a big evening planned with my girlfriend, Susie. Susie, eh? Babe, you've been going steady with her for a long time. You must really like her. I do, I do. She must be very pretty. Yes, yes. Are you going to marry her? What? Why? Well, you can take the night off. What's the big evening you've got planned, Rochester? Well, first I'm going to take her to dinner and then to the movies and then to a club for a little dancing and then about midnight we're going to her apartment to watch some television programs. Well, that sounds like a good time with Susie there. Wait a minute, Rochester. There are no television programs on after midnight. Yes. Okay, okay, go ahead. I'm going to lie down the rest of the while. All right. Here's the paper if you want to read. Thanks. So long, Rochester. Goodbye. Let's see. I wonder what's on the theatrical page. Hmm. Get that picture of... Oh, brother. Is that a plunging neckline? Where are my glasses? Hmm. It's Alan Ladd with his shirt off. Here's a New York review of Bob Hope's latest picture, The Great Lover. See, I played a part in that. Let's see what it says. Bob Hope's flip humor bubbles along through this bright comedy, which features beautiful Rhonda Fleming as his leading lady. This Fleming makes a suitable foil for Hope's side-splitting comedy. Jack Benny also makes a brief appearance in The Great Lover, and his performance is... continued on page 11, column 3, one of the worst catastrophes that ever hit this country. Oh, oh, oh, that's column 5. That's 5. Here's column 3. Hmm. It says, refer to column 5. For this, I had to put on my glasses. Come in. Jack, it's nothing important. I just want to tell you that I was going across the street for a package of Lucky's. I'll be back soon. Okay, Mary. And my sweet little Alice flew down. See, it was nice of Alice to send it to me. I'm glad it didn't fit Phil. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. CBS is so busy on Sundays that... Cardars are... Hello, Mary. Huh? Why, Tarone Power here! I just came down to rehearse a show. You know, one of those dramatic things. Gosh, I haven't seen you since Jack and I ran into you in Europe. That's right, Mary. And say, wasn't it thrilling the way Jack went over at the London Palladium? How the people applauded and laughed at his jokes? The way they cheered and clamored for encore after encore. Uh, but, Ty, you didn't arrive in London till the gauge was over. How did you know Jack was such a big hit? Oh, he told me. Well, that's Jack all right. He always gets around to it. Gets around to it? Well, when he bumped into me on Trafalgar Square, the first words out of his mouth were what a sensation he was. The first words? Didn't he even say, hello, Ty? No, he didn't know it was me. He was stopping people at random. I know what you mean. One day he ran into Danny's tent and they both talked so fast, they bit each other. I'm second thought. I don't blame Jack for being proud. After all, when the king and queen come to your opening night, you know, it's a... King and queen? Jack told you the king and queen came to his opening? Boy, was he lying? Was he lying? Well, that's the... Wait a minute. It could have been the king and queen. There weren't two people in the audience. You know, I don't care what you say about Jack. I like him. Well, I guess I do, too. Say, Ty, Jack is in his dressing room. Would you like to... Oh, Mary! Yeah, what is it, Don? I decided to go out for a sandwich. Would you like to... Well, to Rome! Ty, I didn't know you were back from Europe. I got back two weeks ago, Don. In fact, we were just talking about it. You know, when I was in Europe, I ran into Mary and Jack. I know, they told me. Oh, say, Don, did Jack tell you about the time I met him in London? Oh, no, he didn't. Well, Don, this I've got to tell you. But, Ty... Mary, it's too good to keep. Now, Don, the first time I met Jack was at the Savoy Hotel. I came downstairs one morning, stepped into the lobby, and there was Jack talking to the man behind the desk. Yes, sir, I'll be very happy to exchange your American money into pounds. Are you a guest at this hotel, sir? Yes, yes, I am. The name is Benny, Jack Benny. Which suite do you occupy? Well, I, uh... I don't have a suite. Oh, well, what's your room number? Well, see, my room doesn't have one. You see... Can you tell me what floor it's on? Well, that's kind of hard to say. You see... Oh, you're the eccentric chap who lives in the elevator. That's just for today. You see, they promised me a room. It's so crowded, you know. Anyway, all I want to do is exchange some American money for English pounds. Very good, sir. How much money would you like to exchange? Well, let me see. I may be here two more weeks. I've been here eleven days, and I spent six dollars. I mean, I've been here six days, and I spent eleven dollars. See, for a minute, I bet you thought I was cheap. And I wouldn't blame you. Really? You know, sir, it's hard to believe that you and the Marshall Pan come from the same country. Yes, yes. Anyway, I think I'll just change enough money to last me until... Jack! Jack! Why, Tarone! Tarone Power! Say, you should have caught me at the Palladium. I was the greatest sensation that ever appeared at that theater. The audience, children, clamor for encore after encore. You keep out of it! Ty? Ty, were you one of the people I talked to? Talked to. The tailor's still trying to get the wrinkles out of my lapels. Well, I was enthusiastic, but excuse me, I want to exchange some money. Oh, go right ahead, Jack. I'm... I'm tired anyway. I'll sit down. Tired? Yes, you see, I live on the ninth floor. So what's that got to do with it? Well, your room was out of order and I had to walk down. Oh, John, I must have hung my pajamas on the lever again. Have you made up your mind, sir, how much money would you like to exchange? Well... Jack, I've been looking all over for you. It's not... Well, Ty! Hello, Mary. Tarone, what are you doing here? I thought you were in Italy making your picture. Prince of Foxes. Oh, I finished that last week. Oh, well, Ty, tell me something about it. Is it a costume picture or...? Oh, now wait a minute, Mary. I've been on the Prince of Foxes for six months. It was hard work and now that I've finally finished the picture, I'd like to get a little relaxation. But no. Whenever I meet people, that's all they want me to talk about. Oh, Mary, I hope you don't think I'm rude. Well, Ty, you're not rude, you're modest. I wish more stars for like you and Jack. Jack? Yes, when he finished his last picture, he didn't want to talk about it either. Say, Ty, Ty, will you step over here a minute and help me out? Oh, sure, Jack. Now, Ty, I gave the man $150 in American money and look what he gave me. Is this right? That's quite right, sir. I gave you 36 pounds, 20 shillings, four half crowns, three shillings, a tuppence, a tuppence, and a hay penne. But look, I figured it up and I should have got 42 pounds, 20 shillings, four half crowns, three sixpence, a tuppence, and a hay penne. I mean, I... Isn't that right, Ty? Well, it would have been a few days ago, Jack, but the currency is fluctuating so that by waiting until the day to make your exchange, you've lost six pounds. Eight pounds. He lost two worrying about it. Yeah. Well, Jack, I've got to run upstairs and pack. I'm going to Paris tonight. But, well, say, why don't you two come along with me? Oh, that'd be wonderful. Let's go, Jack. Wait a minute, Mary. We can't leave London until we see the Arch of Crayon. Jack, that's in Paris. Oh! Oh, oh! Well then, what are we waiting for? Come on, let's go. Excuse me, Monsieur. I have an excellent tableau for you. Oh, thank you very much. When my friends arrive, bring me my table, please. Yes, Monsieur. You know, Mary, this is one of the finest nightclubs in Paris. I know, and I love the atmosphere. Say, this is wonderful champagne, you know, and you haven't touched a drop. Mm, Ty, I'm still worried about Jack. How he could have missed the plane is beyond me. Oh, he'll probably take the next one. Anyway, I left a note at the hotel, so he'll know where we are. He's totally beat on my case, please, it ain't no power. Well, Michel, je suis enchanté de vous rencontrer ici. Comment allez-vous? Oh, je suis magnifique, mon ami, mais en guéparé, comment d'autrement? Oh, je suis enchanté de vous rencontrer. Oh, I'm sorry, Mary. Michel, permettez-moi à présenter Miss Livingston. Mary, this is the girl I met the last time I was here. Her name is Michel. How do you do? Oh, it is a pleasure. Oh, you speak English. Have you been to America? Only for two weeks. I have won it on a French quiz program. Let me tell you this. Oh, Tyrone, pardonne-moi, mais je n'avais pas l'intention de derranger votre soirée. Je partirai. Oh, no, Michel, you're not intruding. In fact, we'd like you to stay. When Miss Livingston's escort arrives, we'll have a foursome. Will you join us? Oh, oui, oui. Je suis seul. Good, good. Oh, Mary, Mary, Tyrone. Ty, it's Jack. I told you he'd get here. I got your note at the hotel. Ty came right over. Jesus, the beautiful nightclub. This is really gay paris. Oh, Jack, I want you to meet a friend of Tyrone. Oh, yes, Jack. Michel, this is Jack Benny. Oh, enchanté de faire votre connaissance. Well, woo-woo. I mean, woo-woo. I'm glad to meet me. You. You. Well, sit down, Jack, and have a glass of champagne. Thank you. You know, Jack, Mary was worried about you. It only takes 40 minutes to fly across the channel. Did you miss the other plane, too? No, I, uh, I decided not to take a plane. Oh, then the boat was delayed. Well, I, uh, you see, I didn't take the, the boat either. All right, Jack, wipe off the grease and sit down. Stop making things up. Uh, pardon me, sure. Yes? If you're not sure, it's about to commence. Perhaps you would like to order another bottle of champagne. Oh, yes, yes, please. Uh, just a minute, waiter. Is this champagne imported? Jack, you never ask a question like that in France. It's insulting. Well, I want to know what we're getting. Waiter, what kind of champagne have you got? Chardon, 28. Uh-huh. Pepperite, c'est 20. Notre Dame, 27. They won again. Any champagne they have here is good, so order one. Okay, okay. Well, waiter, how much is Chardon? 1200 francs a bottle. We'll take it. Mary. What? It's too late. That waiter shook the bottle when he opened it. So what? So what? That bottle is costing 1200 francs. When you shake champagne, it makes bubbles. Bubbles are air. If you want air, I can open it. Jack, quiet. They're getting ready to start the floor show. Oh, yeah. And now, ladies and gentlemen, for the floor show, there's the most senior proudly presents a new act between the country and has been held over by popular demand. Allons! We're always from the first from the first from the first lesson from Hildegard. It's nice to meet you. Jack, I'm a little hungry. So am I, Mary. Michelle, are you hungry? Yes. What would you like to eat? I don't know. I think I should have smoked salmon on a little bread. What's that? Bagels and lox. I know they sell that in Hollywood too, at Zebron's Chapot. How do we eat someplace else? I'd like to see all the nightclubs in Paris. I really would, huh? Hey, where about a tie? Where should we go? Oh, there are lots of places. Oh, Jack, before we leave there, let's at least have one dance. Why not, Montchery? Michelle, what did you know about Notre-Cabaret? Oh, Tiron, speak to me in English. That is the way I learn. Oh, sure. Sure, Michelle, it's still early and Mr. Benny would like to go to some other nightclub. Now, where would you suggest? Tiron, I would enjoy very much going to another nightclub with you, and I would enjoy very much taking with us the young lady Miss Livingstone. Mais cet homme, Benny, rendre-moi un petit service et lui, Benny, un coup de pied au pantalon. Oh, but, Michelle, I've known him for a long time. I, I can't kick him in the pants. Je le ferai. Oh, no, no, no, no. You, he would kick back. Oh, oui, il est ici. Well, Mitchell, where do we go from here? Jack, that's Michelle. Oh, yes. Yes, I'm sorry. Well, there are a lot of good clubs in town, Jack. Let's get the check. Okay. Oh, waiter, that's home. Hey, Bob! Give me the check, please. Here you are, Michelle. It's 3,675 francs. Frank, how much is that in English pounds? Oh, Michelle, I cannot accept English pounds, but you can exchange them with your manager. There he is by the desk. Thank you. I'll be right back here. See that, Michelle, it's pretty. She makes tarot look like nothing. Oh, pardon me. Are you the manager? Oui, monsieur. I'd like to change this English money into francs. Oui, monsieur. How much English money have you got? Well, in England, I got 36 pounds, 20 shillings, 4 half crowns, 3 sixpends, a tuppence, a truppence, and a haypenning. But I spent... It does not matter what you spent. What have you got now? No. 35 pounds, 25 shillings, 4 half crowns, 3 sixpends, a tuppence, and a haypenning. Will you change it, please? Oui, monsieur. Now, for each shillings, we give 45 francs, 30 francs for each sixpends, and 5 francs for the tuppence, the tuppence, and the haypenning. Which means you are getting the equivalent of 900 francs a pound. Here you are. Not so fast. Oh, Ty! Coming, mother. Trouble again, Jack? Yes. He wants to give me only 900 francs a pound. But you know how to speak French, Ty. Talk to him. Okay, Jack. Monsieur, n'abusez pas cet homme. Ah, monsieur, j'en suis peur qu'un pauvre cassier, je ne sais pas le prix d'échange. Jack, you better take the 900 francs. No, no, Ty, keep arguing with him. Monsieur, je n'impose pas que vous êtes malhonnêtes. Ah, mais ici, c'est un établissement honnête. Oh, on ne faut pas être anxieux, monsieur. Jack, take the 900 francs. No, no, Ty, I do some more. Oh, yeah. Je suis fâché, monsieur. Mais mon ami croit qu'il recevra plus ailleurs. Il est trop tard, monsieur. Mais non le plus que nous ferons lui donner est 700 francs. Jack, keep talking, Ty. You're doing fine. But Jack, this isn't helping any. Take my advice and accept the 700 francs. 700? Why are we arguing? The rate went down. Jack! All right, mister, I'll take the franc. Here you are. Jack, here's the waiter. Pay him. Okay. Here you are, waiter, 3675 francs. And here's a tip for you. Merci beaucoup, Michel. Thank you. Come on here. But Jack, Jack, you gave him 500 francs. That's a very generous tip. You want to know something, Ty? I was really only going to give him five. But since we're here in France, I didn't have de Gaulle. Oh, boy, what a joke! Ooh! America's religious institutions have strengthened the American life and helped to keep it free. Attendants of churches and synagogues build the moral and spiritual character of the individual and the community. Find yourself through faith. Come to church this week. Thank you. Thank you. Sixty-five... It's all American. LSMFT. Lucky strike means fine tobacco. Tobacco that smokes smooth and mild. That's why there's never a rough puff in a lucky. Yes, friends, each and every lucky strike contains tobacco that's life, ripe and mellow. Now, fine tobacco like this costs more. And at the tobacco auctions, luckies pay millions of dollars more than official parity prices for the kind of tobacco they know will give you a smoother, finer smoke with never a rough puff. So why not smoke the cigarette that gives you more enjoyment with every puff, every pack? Lucky strike. Yes, next time you buy cigarettes, remember, lucky strike gives you more smoothness, more mildness with never a rough puff to spoil your smoking enjoyment. So make your next carton lucky strike, so round, so firm, so fully packed, so free and easy on the draw. Kissing room, Jack. Sure, come on in, Mary. What took you so long? You were just going out for a pack of lucky. Well, I ran into Jerome Power in the hall, and we had a nice talk. Oh, Mary, why didn't you tell me Tyrone was here? I would have asked him to be a guest on my program, you know, and then we could, nah, he'd probably want too much money. You remember how cheap he was over in France. Oh, well, excuse me a minute, ladies and gentlemen, I want to thank Jerome Power for meeting me out in the halls with the courtesy of 20th Century Fox. Producers of Ty's latest picture, Prince of Foxes. Good night, folks. Tune for the Amazon show, which follows immediately. This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.