 Well, hello and welcome to understand men now. I'm Jonathan as I have Jonathan as a comment I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today our topic why men have a hard time receiving your love receiving receiving receiving All right, if you've ever experienced this, please post a comment Let me know really quickly if you're new to my youtube channel Please hit the subscribe button that hit the bell to get notified of new content I shoot about three or four videos per week if this resonates with you hit the bell All right our topic I'm doing a topic on receiving because today is Thanksgiving and for those here in the United States Most of us aren't allowed to go out and spend time with our families because we've been restricted here Most of us are dealing with the pandemic and this is a really challenging time So I chose to talk about receiving because Thanksgiving is about the idea of giving Right is giving thanks, but it's also being able to receive thanks And this is a challenge for many men is to receive your gratitude to receive your love So I want to lean into that. I want to lean into that today Um really quickly. Oh by the way before I get started you might notice this is my uh balcony shot for today I want to give you a quick view sense of the view I have here Um, so that's the view from my place if you've ever been curious All right, I'm going to put this back now. It's probably looks like a tacky youtube video Really quickly. Oh my t-shirt says kindness is so gangster and my cup today is love yourself Love yourself so apropos for this conversation Because one of the challenges men have is that capacity to love themselves This is oftentimes the result of childhood wounds and traumas that have been unhealed Or adult traumas that have been unhealed the reason why I know this is because I did something fantastic Called the Hoffman process the Hoffman process that helped me understand my childhood wounds and traumas Which makes it very difficult for someone to be able to receive love The more traumatic our childhood and our life experience is the harder it is to receive love And I know many of you condition. Well, if I just keep giving him love if I keep giving him love if I keep giving him love He will eventually be able to receive and it doesn't work that way It's it Look at I mean it doesn't work that way for men who are capable of it But so many Significant number of men fear love or incapable of receiving. This is why I'm a big proponent Of doing inner work first to be prepared So that if you have gotten attached or if you've given your love to someone else, it doesn't work out You're in your sovereignty. You're in your self-worth. You're in your self-reliance In fact, this is why I promote my book every video What the heck is self-love anyway see by jonathan asley because when we lean into our sovereignty We're not attached to the outcome with another human being and yet when we invest in another human being We want to be with someone who's both a giver and a receiver A giver and receiver I know ladies you've been so conditioned that men are leading the process and they must be the giver And you just sit in your feminine energy and receive receive receive You you know how I feel about that ah I call that bullshit Um because a healthy relationship is a two lane street. It's two people giving and receiving together I share this story frequently Um on my podcast and in my videos, but it's so important to illustrate this point I was on a first date with a woman years ago. He went to a dive bar And uh, we uh, I bought the first round of drinks And I brought her the round of drinks and we chatted a little bit And I went to go get another round and she walked with me and I'm giving my credit card and she says I have it And I go no, no, I've got it. She goes. I have it. I go. No, I've got it. She goes. I have it Now some of you might be going well She was in her masculine being in control But what happened next floored me and illustrates this point about receiving She put her hand on my arm and said jonathan I'm really grateful that you treated the last round Will you allow me to show my appreciation and treat this round? Can you receive? And that was like in that moment. I was kind of like in my mask I was in my masculine control because we all associate masculine with control and feminine with receiving I know i'm being rhetorical here. I just like to play with this whole thing But she literally put her hand on my arm. Can you receive? Ladies if a man is incapable of receiving in the early stage of the dating, how is he ever going to receive later on down the road? You might invest years hoping that something will change This is why I'm a big proponent of this book Called making love all the or how to make love all the time by barba de angeles. Look how thick that book is This is a great book for understanding how to shift a relationship to one that's a two-lane street You're both givers and receivers in relationship And if you need help with the languaging if you have a hard time with your words Then you have to check out the book nonviolent communication by marshal rozenberg. Oh my god This is a great book For understanding how to communicate your needs wants and desires with a guy. Look it I could sell you some five thousand dollar program You know, that's a online course To teach you all this that you can get for literally 15 bucks you can buy a dozen of the books. I recommend. So what's that 180 dollars you can invest in the books I recommend by the way, there's a link to the jonathan recommends books To help support you on this My private coaching practice though is more specific for you which is a little bit different We specific we take all the information I've gathered and specifically work with you By the way, if you're interested check out the link to a free discovering call It's in the comments and in the description as well To see if working with the coach is right for you because here's the bottom line you can invest Weeks months and years with a man who's incapable of receiving This is why we have to shift this paradigm of men are the leaders of the relationship and he will claim you And you just have to sit back and receive I haven't said the f word. Fuck. That's how I feel about that Because I see it as a two lane street. Do you see it as a two lane street? Is that what you want? Do you want a relationships a two lane street? Because the guys who are incapable of receiving They're not going to make good partners and it's better to learn this early on than later on down the road I hope this resonates with you. I hope you're giving thanks to your own Sovereignty. I hope you're giving thanks for Thanksgiving. I hope you're learning to receive and also learning to shift from an old egoic way of operating in relationships and a co-creative way And that's my invitation for you today All right, I'm going to wrap up this a podcast as I always do Remember kindness is so gangster. First off, I'm going to give myself a big gigantic Jonathan bear hug of self love I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm going to ask you to turn to someone and give them a hug of love Because hugs are a great source of love and we can all use a lot more love in our lives Happy Thanksgiving. Wishing you a fabulous day. Bye. Bye now