 Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to Skip Dictation Live. My name is Sherman and in case you're new to the channel, this live stream is for hanging out with me while I record whatever SCP story we're doing today. I will chat with you guys in the live chat room whenever I get opportunity between takes. Let's see, any fun channel news? Nothing new today, so let's get right to it. Today we are going to be doing not an actual SCP article, but instead we are going to be doing what is a group of interest tale for Prometheus Labs. The title of today's piece is, in all caps, grant request for a replacement keyboard because the caps lock on this one is broken. And this is probably going to be really funny. So let us hit from the top and beware there's going to be a lot of screaming. A lot of screaming because we're going to be in caps locks for a while. Now thankfully you can't scream into a microphone in caps lock because it blows the whole recording out. So I'm going to be like fake screaming. So we're going to pretend to scream a whole bunch. So welcome to the scream, welcome to the streams, welcome to the stream scream, the scream stream. Let's do it. Mike's tested, video's running, chat rooms up, and grant request for a replacement keyboard because the caps lock on this one is broken. Problem. All right, let's see how that goes voice wise. All right, so that's clipping out of control. We're going to try and take the microphone volume down a little bit and see if that will allow us to scream without blowing up. Take it down a bit. Let's test, test, test, test, test, screaming, screaming into the microphone. All right, that's actually not bad. Let's take it down just a pinch more. Grant request for replacement keyboard because the caps lock on this one is broken. Awesome. That is the volume for the screaming section, which is the first half of this story. So from the top. Grant request for replacement keyboard because the caps lock on this one is broken. Problem. Until such time as advances in neuroscience can make it possible for me to transmit digital data directly from my brain, employees of Prometheus Labs such as myself are shackled to the physical keyboard. It is a mainstay of modern technology for good reason, but prone to mundane technological failures. In this case, a critical component of sent keyboard has ceased to function and levels of anger stemming from this malfunction are projected to increase by 200% in this quarter alone. All right, paragraph one. Let's see how that sounded. So thing you'll learn about me today is I have a soft spot in my heart for yelling skips. If you go back into my archives, I think it's season one, like one of my first videos is SCP-1333-J, The Screaming Man. And Dr. Clef asked me to do that one while I was starting out and it is gosh darn hilarious. I loved it. The screaming man is hilarious and I would do it again with better equipment. I should remaster it sometime. Great idea me, cell five. Let's keep going. Such a breakdown in the fabric of society cannot be allowed to go on. While Prometheus Labs prides itself on embracing innovation, its employees suffer from inferior and overpriced technology. A further complication arises from the fact that humans are, for now, emotional creatures who often override logic in stressful situations. In this case, said stress can be directly traced to an inability to complete essential functions due to the limitations and failures of the technology provided. All I want is a keyboard that works, damn it. Solution. While yes, Richard is leading a team working on fixing the human-raged state problem over in neuroengineering, yes, I finally remembered his name. Sorry, Richard, you're doing good work. Such advances will not be available for a decade at least. A far simpler solution, analogous to cutting the knot, has been found, removing the source of the emotional instability and raging outbursts at its cause rather than at its mechanism. We, Carlos's and Laura's combi boards. Combi boards? They're combi boards. Oh my god, I wrecked their combi boards. No, not Laura and Carlos's combi-borbs. Technology provided. All I want is a keyboard that works, damn it. We, Carlos and Laura's keyboards have now exhibited similar malfunctions, proposed ordering a new model of keyboard from another, more reliable manufacturer. Preliminary analysis of Amazon reviews. Amazon reviews. Oh man, my yelling voice gets really confused about how words sound. Gosh darn it. Oh, I got some bad clicks in that take. I wonder what happened. Seeing how paranoid, I have to start from the beginning. Drat, I was doing so good. Let's start here and I'll speed it up a little bit so I don't have to do this for too long. Runnin'. So basically everything I did that last take messed up, but nothing beforehand. So we're good. All right, let's keep it going. Gosh darn it, I wish that worked. Carlos and Laura's, gotta get back in my yelling voice. Carlos and Laura's keyboards have now exhibited similar malfunctions. Carlos and Laura's keyboards have now exhibited similar malfunctions, proposed ordering a new model of keyboard from another, more reliable manufacturer. Preliminary analysis of Amazon reviews has suggested the model 1190X from Superior Computer Products as a suitable candidate due to its ergonomic design and lifetime warranty. Upon confirmation of a successful elimination of the malfunction, said product will be added to the Prometheus Labs. Drat. I was doing so good. Had a string going. Kaka combo broken. Type that in here. Cut that down to the right place and let's see if that takes stock of the malfunction. Let's continue. Said product will be added to the Prometheus Labs regular requisition forms replacing the flawed one. Said keyboards will be ordered through our usual channels. What's dug in logistics is bribed with a sufficiently large quantity of donuts. They will of course be sent to this office first, except Gilberto. He doesn't deserve one. Strictly for quality assurance before being sent to other offices in this region. Business case. The projected benefits of Prometheus Labs will be astronomy with all keyboards replaced. We will see a big increase in productivity. All right, we've made it to the end of the screaming. Congratulations. That's part one. So at the end of the screaming match, oh no, don't delete everything. Business case. So now that we're done yelling, we can turn the microphone back up and it won't clip everything I say ever. So now we're going to mic test again. The projected benefits, benefits. The projected benefits. There's a lot of misspelling in this thing for hilarious effect. So I've got to say everything wrong on purpose. The projected benefits to Prometheus Labs will be astronomy. With all keyboards replaced, we will see a big increase in productivity and effectiveness. Kevin has emailed a fancy table since his phone can run Excel. We will see a big increase in productivity and effectiveness. Kevin has emailed a fancy table since his phone can run Excel. Prometheus Labs will be astronomy. With all keyboards replaced, we will see a big increase in productivity and effectiveness. Kevin has emailed a fancy table since his phone can run Excel. Excellent. We're doing great. This is excellent. We're working it. We're working it. Noted are the issue followed by the projected change. Employee morale, plus 23%, stress-related incidents, minus 29%, hand-related injuries, carpal tunnel, etc., minus 8%, destruction of office supplies, minus 42%, typos and documentation, minus 35%, sent from my iPhone. Use of funding. Use of funding. I made a weird click after my voice did that. Oh, got the burps. Drinking water through a straw in a mason jar. All right, use of funding. Use of funding. All right, excellent. Run Excel. Noted are the issue followed by the projected change. Employee morale, plus 23%, stress-related incidents, minus 29%. Excellent. Sound quality's all good. Sent from my iPhone. Use of funding. Awesome. Use of funding. A total of $1,500,000 is sought for this project. However, this cost would be mostly offset by the aforementioned savings and discontinuing of the purchase of those crappy old keyboards. Crap, I said a word wrong. I hate when I say a word wrong. Just one little word. Let's save a little more space in there. However, this cost would mostly be offset by the aforementioned savings and discontinuing of the purchase of the crappy old keyboards we've been stuck with for years now. Those things are overpriced. So the total difference in cost comes out to less than $400,000. Saving and discontinuing of the purchase of the crappy old keyboard we've been stuck with for years now. Those things are overpriced. So the total difference in cost. Okay, I got to go back. Apparently, I've been using way too fancy a voice. So I'm going to say this one's done by another person. So everything I've done from use of funding is going to change. And that's fine. That's only two sentences. Two long sentences. But I want to denote that it's another person. All right, so let's go back. Let's give this guy a little bit of a different voice. Use of funding. A total of $1,500,000. $1,500,000. All right. Use of funding. A total of $1,500,000. I did it again. I did it again. Why did I do that? Use of funding. A total of $1,500,000 is sought for this project. However, this cost would be mostly offset by the aforementioned savings and discontinuing of the purchase of the crappy keyboards we've been using. I forgot the word old crappy old keyboards. Use of funding. A total of $1,500,000. $1,500,000. $1,500,000. $1,500,000. Not daughters. Dollars. Dollars. Use of funding. A total of $1,000,000. A total use of funding. A total of $1,500,000 is sought for this project. However, this cost would mostly be offset by the aforementioned savings and discontinuing of the purchase of the crappy old keyboards we've been stuck with for years now. Those things are overpriced. So the total difference in cost comes out to less than $100,000. Understandably, some people, specifically those cheesecakes, those cheesecakes, those cheesecakes. All right. We got everything we needed there. I just got to put a boop in there later. But we at least got that. This cost would mostly be offset by the aforementioned savings and discontinuing of the purchase of the crappy old keyboards we've been stuck with for years now. Those things are overpriced. So the total difference in cost comes out to less than $100,000. Excellent. We're getting there. We're getting there. Yeehaw. All right. So at this point in the skip, I don't know if you've seen this yet, but it starts like freaking out. So I'm going to have to do a lot of weird tech things here and the voices are going to change and mix around and pull things from other places. So every word of this is going to be said differently. I'm going to end up recording this a couple times and getting different voices. So let's do round. All right. So let me make this a master track. Master track flex. Track master flex. All right. So here's try number one. Understandably, some people, specifically those cheesecakes up in corporate, just don't want to actually put any effort whatsoever into supplying employees with functional tech. Cool. That's number one. Let's do it again. New voice. Understandably, some people, specifically those cheesecakes up in corporate, just don't want to actually put any effort whatsoever into supplying employees with functional tech. That's voice number two. Understandably, some people, specifically those cheesecakes up in corporate, just don't want to actually put any effort whatsoever into supplying employees with functional tech. All right. That's three voices. Understandably, some people, specifically those cheesecakes up in corporate, just don't want to actually put any effort whatsoever into supplying employees with functional tech. Understandably, some people, specifically those cheesecakes up in corporate, just don't want to actually put any effort whatsoever into supplying employees with functional tech. And for our last one, tech. Cool. Okay. So we got some really, really rando things going on there. And that'll all mix and match eventually. Let's get past that point and start again with, they're all muted, right? Nothing's going to record over. Good. All right. So now that we got that, let's get to the big finale. My keyboard just froze. Mine too. My phone just locked up. All right. I'm going to order the new keyboards myself if I have to. Wait, something weird is going on. All right, fine. You got me. But what did you expect would happen when you linked up so many in your own F base keyboards? Would you're a sucker for overpaying for by the way, cried? Oh man. Okay. Let me go back and see how that all felt. Not sure if I liked all that. Let's see what happened. All right. So let's start from the hive mind. Doing good. Doing good. Let's take this to the top, plug it in. And down. Here we go again on my own. Living on the only road I've ever known. Here we go. All right, fine. You got me. But what did you expect would happen when you linked up so many in your own F based keyboards? Would you're a sucker for overpaying for BTW? And had them process so much data on a daily basis? I mean, computer hive minds have come from weirder places. Anyway, sorry for the trouble, everyone. Anyway, sorry for the trouble, everyone. The cap slot key is kind of located where I guess your closest analog would be the motor control center. I came down with something last quarter. Someone checked Tott's internet history. Geez. And it's been bugging me for a while now. What the fuck? Known issues. The proposed solution purchase of new keyboards has been reevaluated and found to be unnecessary. Recently, a new solution has been proposed and implemented using synergistic logistical management reshuffling to eliminate. Oh, I was so close to getting through that. Oh, I almost nailed that weird sentence. Dang it. Imeliminate. I almost got through it. Drat. Okay, so from using, we're going to try that sentence again. Cut that, put it to the top, move it forward. Using. Let's get rid of that last one that's not muted. And here we go. Using. Using said. Oh God, I don't remember what tone I was using. Crap. What voice was I using? Excellent. Using synergistic logistical management reshuffling to eliminate any conflicts with employees as a side effect of this solution, expenditures on healthcare, insurance, wages, and vacation days have dropped by 99% and employee satisfaction levels have reached and employee satisfaction levels have reached divide by zero error. Nice. We made it. Awesome. We made it to the end. So that is the grant request for a replacement keyboard because the caps lock on this one is broken. I'm going to go into the editing booth and put this together with a little bit of a weird special effects and we have today's reading. It is early enough that I will probably be able to get this up in the next few hours. So hopefully this will be up tonight. If it's not up tonight, it'll upload tomorrow. But thanks for tuning in guys. In case you made it all the way through, my name is Sherman. This has been Skip Dictation Live, live from Site 42. Hope to see you guys in the next stream. And if you really like what's going on, do all that like, share, subscribe, YouTube stuff. And if you're really on board with Site 42, help us out with the Patreon. That way we can keep doing videos like this. Thanks a lot. See you guys later. Hit the stop button.