 What is the right time to introduce your other child to your spouse or to the person you intend to get married to? Be it a woman, you had another child with someone else, but now you're sitting down with someone else or be it a man, maybe you had another child, you have a baby mama. What is the right time? You are watching Friends Vibe. All feelings are represented. And welcome to another episode of Friends Vibe right here on XPM Buzz. If you love our content, please make sure you subscribe so that you don't miss out on anything we post. But as usual, I have your favorite people on the panel. Introduce yourself guys. If you don't have breakfast with me, please come and join us. Join, come and join us. Thank you so much mama. Thank you so much for watching. Please don't miss out on anything. Anyway guys, my good name is Miski Finji and today's topic of discussion is What is the right time to introduce your other child to your spouse or to the person you intend to get married to? Be it a woman, you had another child with someone else, but now you're sitting down with someone else or be it a man, maybe you had another child, you have a baby mama. What is the right time? What is the right time to introduce your other child to your spouse or to the person you intend to get married to? As soon as possible actually, I don't know, the surprises seem to be gone. Mama, I want my own child. Mama, I wanted us to have maybe our own child, you know, not children from outside. And then to me pick up, to kwa marriage, to kwa marriage, to kwa ribu 10 years and go to meza, or children no longer kunia mia. That's not okay. Tell me as soon as possible, as soon as you see that this is going somewhere, before you even get married. I feel like at the first date you should be saying these things. I have a child on the first day, so that me mwenye nichiagwe kama chute hendelea, ama chute hendelea. Mama, goni ampe ni surprise ni ni? Not that kind of surprise. Because I don't like surprises. Yes. It's very simple. Mimi kama nome, already niki kwa na family, ama nisi kwa na family, when you get into this family, mimi kama nome ni maimua. Mimi kwa na provide, na kupia mapenzi. Nuna takani na kupia upkeep. Na kutia kwa musyaara na kukia 1.2 monthly. Ya kwa upkeep. Nuna takani ngingi na. Nisi na yutlain. Ya kutia kwa mene isa. Nikodam tumingi na pwana. Niko noloya. It's literally just a conversation. But hey. So sir, then I have to decide if I want to stay here. So sir, kikwa pwanda wa? No, but why don't you tell me earlier? Let me ask you. What if you are to get married to someone mwenya kukwambia kwa nami tuto mingi na mimi kama nami tuto ushago meka, mede, tuwanya, mewana alafu skumodja na mbe, ah, medewia na wangam tuto angu. Hey. How would you feel? So, we are going to Tongu. Hey. How would you feel? Aina shida. Amu kwa honi sube bea. Takama mimi nuchkotari bina besawo. Akini ya saman. Just stay per site. No. Mwenya nto eka komishaara. Nto eka kwa upkeep. Lafi na dela. No. Bintruthful does not necessarily mean bana ni mwade wampeli ukweli. Listen. Atupeli ukweli? Wampeli kama ukweli. Listen. Bintruthful sometimes does not necessarily mean you same something, you know, just saying it in real life ati. Mi minu kona umtoto. Sometimes lying na samanini. Sometimes lying is you not saying. You can't wangawo. Ya ni wango. Ya ni wango. Not saying is also lying. That's lying by a mission. Uta kwa unikali se chini. Ukotari kumiski aniku kwa mi apeti. Yes please. Kwa gana family. Yes please. Also to you as a person that means your family or the child that you're not telling me is not important to you. It means a lot. Ya it means a lot. Also when you don't love me I feel like there are things you might be hiding from me that I need to know. Ya. Because I feel like I need to take you as a person knowing you're someone's father. Exactly. You're not just a bachala who has no one in this world. Ya. I need to know are you someone's father? How have you been taking care of your child? Is your child taken care of? Ya. Have you been providing support? Ya. Because also that will show the kind of person you are. Ya. You are. But if you left your child somewhere we've been dating. Mama we've been married. I never knew about your child. You've left your child somewhere for like all these years. Ya. And then out of the blue you come and tell me that. Bro that means you don't care about that family. Naisa. But you don't even care about your child. Ya. Waika feelings. Uu ni ma no nambaya akona pesa a nali pop bills a na support wa tu wein mo beti. and we have And we have Wena, we have no problem with that. No. We have no problem with that. You see, that's why I want to know what happened between you two in your baby mama. Bonaam kusetu. Labdani mu totoa likuze in that picture Mkawa channel. So paa mi mi labdum Si mulaq, bakapuya maqafuji nada tiazhi Tiko ni, zo ko kwa maqafuji Lami kwa gafuji Yep, tanya maqafuji Siko maqafuji Kwa maqafuji Nos, tafuji Nandito Nandito Nandito Kwa maqafuji Kiazhi wajya So that we know how we are moving forward because we are adults there's no need of lying and I mean things happen you can have a child it's okay Waka ka kama nga waka Mape mape mape mape manda Manya maya wakama ka mape mape mape mape mape manda Hay yu quembu kua lini, nstiputukula sabadu It'll change So many things will change Uta kubani kula yon tuwata Ya I mean I would even like Lemi tell you If I would agree Lemi say, if I am for that I would agree and I'll even say bring you a child Let's stay as in And die kwae karibuna baba ke Awhat wana sema hindi Iki kuwa main tikuwa Kusun mamia tu gunna saik tikuwa Am ea furanda, kua Nikuwa na saik tikuwa Mola sik kubani wana saik tikuwa Iki kuwa main tikuwa Ika chik kuba ni wana saik tikuwa I have a question Kido so you want to marry someone then they tell you oh by the way I have three kids with someone else so I was married before Will you still go ahead and marry that person? Mind you she comes with a baggage with three kids so you have to help out Let me ask you a question Imagine now let me ask you a question Now imagine this girl has you've gotten married to her you didn't know what to talk about kusha go You've gotten married for like two three years down the line and a kwaambia by the way I have three kids wakusha go kumamangu Would that change anything for you? No it cannot change anything because already nisham chikotisha ingia kwa system What we don't have support we don't have ways and I say same same What ways kubali chikotisha wakusha wakusha wakusha wakusha wakusha wakusha wakusha wakusha wakusha wakusha wakusha wakusha No, honestly just tell me earlier What is the kwaambia kwaambia? It can't change anything It can't change how I live you It can't change my life because you can't tell me you have a kid I'm here now that is more responsibility on my side I don't know how I'm supposed to start taking care of this Psychologically prepared Because this is a this is a whole human being This is a responsibility you are giving me by force Let me ask you guys a question Let me ask you a question In that position When you say na hadwa ki wuna fana bidi Me kua na wani mbrembo By chance whatever happened behind Umepatam toi liya Sao Mimi na daka kusetu liya nawewe Mame kuna mtui For real to be honest Mtui waka tenzi ni kukupenda kukana wei kweni That's not what we are saying That's not what we are saying That's not the issue nawewe Issu nawewe the same thing Sume ni ambiya Umekuza kwangu naisa Ima kumbia ni kuna wa toi wawili Bibi na man liya na kani wacha Uta ni kubali nawewe strong Ya, then that's what I need That's what I need No, you know Kido What I'm saying is I need to be asked I need to be told So that when I miki kwanbi I ain't kubali I'm going forward Fully knowing that Yes, this guy has two kids And maybe I'll have to take care of these kids But say ati Tu kukatikati Una puja out of nowhere Nae na kwangala Nae na kwangala Nae na kwangala So that's you forcing me To take care Like I had not even prepared myself Or I don't know how to do it That's you forcing me Onto responsibilities that I don't want to Maybe I don't want to For me when you tell me such information I'll be oh okay You have two kids alright So aha And you take care of them Yes So that I know your character too So I know Your character Yes Coz if you don't take care of your kids It's not too long Maybe I was Long time what I used to do Trust me whenever you have a child They influence every little thing That you do Your love life Your life Like anything about your life It will be influence Your time Which will be influenced by your kids So even the person you're choosing Should be ready to take care of your kids And should be ready to take that responsibility And not just You just told me right now Coz you see kiddo I need to know All this weekend You're going to hang out With your other kids Yes You're not able to hang out With our kids Okay It is out of respect You just telling me No today I'm hanging out with the other kids Uta kun na niyambu na nda wapika So you see That is just You adding more lives To more lives So na huma ituna Your time ya kwa bia tiza So you see You just telling me Let's agree that daughter is not atlanta So I would have thought Thatinizi lobeka kwa kukupenda How don't you have that time Decleave Allah I don't know No time In that I think So let's say When it comes to marriage Is st Madam Her in Wagisu We have discussed This scenario Is similar to Simon Kabu Sa Ra Kabu We don't even know How that It But anyway We saw it on social media But darkness Anna kuleimh That Simon Kabu Introduced They 24-year-old 24-year-old Juzia kama wa Jiri Kazipale Kwa Kampuni Sara did not know We don't know how that story is We just saw it on social media Imagine how it would feel Being introduced to a 24-year-old At this is your This is your husband's daughter That's crazy And also Let me tell you Also just Not for me as your spouse But also to your kids So how are they feeling When you are not Like... how do I say... You are not having a baby You are not a proud of them It's like you're not proud of them We have been together for 40 years Samalkabu I've been in Tudizum 24 years We had a relationship We were in a relationship We had connections We even got into cotton I went to a shop I was planning on I asked her if she was a kid Will she be available for 10 years? urati me duke hua Kabul kia nihijiki nii muli trouha bunyu kwa na yun nii kwa naaa l$a!! you kewa sasana nanii mili tamatia li Sisyna So it's your ultimate goal? No, nkwa tata wawekwa wenezapia na inje Una jo kutu saimuwa mehapeni ya saimoni saimoni manome ako na tere sa Mweli pata kitu mehapeni tu ni of course ali kwa na chemistry pali inje na kapa tami toto na ame la na toto mbaka akampati ya kazi That has nothing to do with money It has everything to do with your character No, it has everything to do with happiness No, that was not the... It has everything to do with being truthful Bro, there are people who are to be in macho And they are not happy What are you here for? Are you happy Betty? Bro, I am happy if someone is truthful with me So any information on Takat, when you put it Because it's best Let me tell you It is just better to know these things earlier That's how I know I am making my... Nice I am happy if someone is to be in macho Bro, I am happy I am happy if someone is to be in macho Yes It is important to know Ladies, we ask it nowadays In this dead edge Please be asking these questions On their past debt So that you know if you are going for the second one Or you are not cut out for that kind of life It is important to ask these questions I totally understand There are two perspectives to look at it The reason as to where I would not tell My person that I have a child Is because you are afraid of them to go So you hide information from them Because you probably think they might not stay But you see it is wrong They would rather stay knowing the truth Instead of them saying Or live early knowing the truth And you find someone who is ready to Stay with you the way you are And what you have in your bag Instead of mumeka kwa marriage All these years Because you are afraid of them living And then immediately you tell them They live too It is all about getting afraid of them living It is all about their feelings and emotions Exactly So tell them this That is why Don't protect it Please Don't say don't speak for women Do not speak for anyone We have sisters, we know how they behave No, you don't Please Don't speak for anyone We have a responsibility We have a wife We have a girlfriend As long as the family is happy And we provide them We have a family We have a family So you are alive Your life is alive Your life is alive Just asking No, and also If you have a child Tell people before Don't wait until It's a long time And then that's when you're telling someone It's not okay for the person you're telling It's not going to be okay I don't think they will feel Even that your relationship has been alive It hasn't been truthful So how many things have you been lying It's just a matter of trust Just tell them So for me my last words are If you think You're protecting my feelings By not revealing the truth You're not doing it And you know the problem with men Is they don't look at the future They look at tomorrow The consequences for tomorrow They don't look at the future ten years from today If she finds out how Is she going to react So just know By not revealing the truth You are not protecting my feelings Because eventually when I find out It is going to be a problem So please Ask about these things On the first second date Find out Is this someone you want to live with for the rest of your life Because there are things Like kids might be a big factor On how that spouse spends time with you And spends time with your family So make sure What you're writing What you're writing Unless you ultimate Unless you ultimate We will drop you We will drop you That was Friends 5 Make sure you subscribe And leave a comment down below Tell us what you think Do you want the truth Or not Goodbye