 So, yeah, I just started recording and so what I just want to remind is that Like whatever we are learning in this section that is winning with people is From a from a book by the same title by John C. Maxwell Winning with people. I think I have a PDF of that book. I'll just put it on I'll upload it For you in the resource section So you can read it the only thing is that a lot of examples are all You know very American So, but it's it's still I think it's good the illustrations are American of course You might talk about American football and all those things, but but I think it's it's still good To go through I just thought, you know, while we are going to be looking at the charisma The principle and also the confrontation principle the next The number 10 principle the the three other principles I just thought it'd be good if we can if we can watch the video of John C. Maxwell talking about these right so and then we could maybe take a You know pause that ever to talk about or if you have some questions we can discuss that as well. Yeah, so let's Watch that video Just share that and what they know We'll rub off as Clifton and Nelson Is it clear audio? It's clear, okay, I'm just gonna like switch off my camera so it doesn't buffer anything Yeah, and said Relationships help us define who we are and what we become I have made it a habit in my life to every month have what I call a learning lunch And every month I seek out people most of whom I have never met It may be an author of a book that's going to be in a town where I'm going to go and I've read their book And I'll call and ask if I can have a lunch with them But every month I have a learning lunch at least one sometimes I get two or three But always have one always I always set up one for sure I mean get that one nailed them and in that learning lunch. I have a series of questions I referred to in another lesson of having dinner with Jim Collins and Francis Hessleby I Kid you not I prepared four hours for that lunch When I went to the table you see most people when they go to the table they think they should eat food I Can eat food anywhere. I've got my questions You eat the food. I'll ask the question And I asked the first question to Jim Collins I said would you talk to me about the value of curiosity because in your book especially good to great Your curiosity is evident everywhere. I said what is the value of curiosity? It took him 12 minutes to answer that question He said John no one's ever asked me that question. He said I love that question. He answered it I went through others for him and for Francis. They're once well. They'd ask me a question I give him a real quick simple stupid answer And get right back to asking them questions because I learned like a long time ago if you're doing talking You're not doing any learning We're in the car and we're going back to the hotel Jim Collins turns around looks back at me So let me talk to you a little bit more about curiosity In another five minutes I'm just sitting there taking notes Some of my best thinking has been done by others. It's amazing what will happen if you have those learning lunches number four identify people's uniqueness and strengths Ralph Waldo Emerson remarked I have never met a man who was not my Superior in some particular People grow best in the areas of their strengths You can learn most from another person's area of strength So what you got to do is identify your strengths and ask the questions in their strength zone number five ask questions Just have a learning value The learning principle is huge And I have watched people and realized that if you really want to develop strong relationships Ask questions and learn from people and by the way you create tremendous value when you're asking somebody to teach you something people principle number nine the charisma The charisma principle says People are interested in the person who is interested in them Or Dale Carnegie the classic statement of all I think You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you Question I must ask myself Do I usually focus on others in their interest or on? my own Many years ago a person that I've had the privilege of mentoring Dan Rylan and I were having a discussion And he said to me said John you have charisma and I said well I said people tell me that but I said I think it's just kind of a gift that some people have some people don't and he stopped He said no no no, you're wrong. It's what you mean. I'm wrong He said Christmas not a gift. It's not a talent at all It's a mindset So what do you mean? That day he taught me a very valuable lesson about charisma In your notes people with charisma focus on others That's what makes people like them and People without charisma focus on themselves It's a mindset if you are focusing on others I Promise you you'll develop a charismatic personality if you focus on yourselves. Hello This is classic This is Dale Carnegie six ways to make people like you Carnegie's teachings in the class And then how to win friends and influence people made a profound impression on me as a teenager by the time I graduated I had with my father taken to Dale Carnegie courses In fact, they had such an impact that I've worked To pattern my people skills on much of what he taught and here are six things Carnegie suggests Along with my explanation Number one become genuinely interested in other People people do not care how much you know until they know how much you care number two Smile say John there's got to be more to it than that No really there is Just smile People all the time will come to me and say you know what John you just have this natural smile No, no, no, I don't have a natural smile. You don't have a natural spot. Nobody has a natural smile We we had to work our way out into this world Think about it. And as soon as we got out the doctor looked at us and smacked us No wonder we are negative the rest of our life Should have picked us up and said you're awesome. You're unbelievable But I was in grade school. I looked in the mirror one day and I looked in there and I faced reality She said John you are not a handsome dude What are we gonna do with our face like this And then I smile and as soon as I smile I thought That helps it didn't heal me But it helped me I'm often amazed the people who go through a day Can never smile They're like the mother daughter who are doing the Christmas shopping They've been to too many stores and the feet were pretty sore on mom and she was really grumpy as they made their last stop shop place and They're coming out of that store about a half hour later and her mother is just cheese now She's she's got a real attitude issue and she said to her daughter Did you see the look that that salesperson gave me in that store and her daughter said mom that salesperson Didn't give you that look you had that when you went in number three remember that a person's name is To him or her The sweetest and most important sound major Just understand That if you could remember a person's name number four be a good listener Encourage others to talk about themselves Novelist George Elliot advised try to care about something in this vast world besides the gratification of small selfish desires Try to care for what is best in thought and action something that is good apart from the accidents of your own life Look on other lives besides your own see what their troubles are and how they are bored You know two of the greatest prime ministers in all of England's history Was William Gladstone and Benjamin Disraeli Both of brilliant prime ministers lived real I mean back to back So England had some really good leadership for a period of time and and one lady who knew both of them was asked one time She said that compare William Gladstone to Benjamin Disraeli. Oh, that's very easy She said what I'm with William Gladstone after an evening conversation with him over dinner. I Just look at him and say to myself. He is the most brilliant Man in England. You said when I spent it even with Benjamin Disraeli When I'm leaving him, I always say to myself. I am the most brilliant person in England To total different mindsets number five Talk in terms of the other person's interest There's the golden rule. There's the platinum rule The golden rule treat others the way you want to be treated the platinum rule treat others the way that they Want to be treated start with the golden and advance to the platinum And number six make the other person feel important and do it Sincerely, I was recently having dinner out in San Diego with a friend of mine And we were both talking about a book that we both have enjoyed that is entitled now discover your strengths Marcus Buckingham. It's basically a book that has several Identifies and labels several different strengths a person may have and you read the book and kind of understand them And then you can even take a test on the computer Based on what your number is on your book and it's a it's a wonderful enlightening Exercise and I took it and and he had taken it and he looked at me He said John he said let me ask you a question. He said What were your top five strengths and and I could only remember I think two of them So I said, well, let's check with Linda and I called her and she had pulled out the test and told me But one of my five strengths is what they call the woo factor the woo factor Basically is a is a fact that you're able to woo people to you that it has kind of that again that charismatic kind of feel to it And he said I knew that be one of your five He said I knew that be one of your five and I said, oh if you didn't know me 20 years ago, it wasn't So what do you mean by that? Oh, I said The first few years as I started off in my career. I Wanted to impress people I Wanted to have people like me. I wanted people to think that I was smart I used to do all kind of stupid things. I I used to I used to wear Glasses so the people thought I was intellectual. I came out of college And I thought that if I was intellectual people would think that was wonderful And you know one day my wife said that you look real stupid in those glasses And I took them off. I guess what I'm trying to share with you in this people principle the charisma principle It's it really is a mindset And you don't have to be boring all your life Boring people are into themselves People with charisma are into others People principle number 10 now the 10th people principle just happens to be the number 10 principle In other words believing the best in people usually brings the best out of people I'm talking to now about putting the number 10 on their head Mark Twain said keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions Small people always do that But they're really great make you feel that you too Can become great and the question I must ask myself is do I believe the best of others in other words Do I put a 10? This is the number 10 principle. Do I put a 10 on their heads? Let me share with you five things I know about people probably 20 years ago I was flying up to Spokane to speak at the convention center to a large group of people and While I was on the plane and this happens to me not often, but sometimes I sat down with my legal pad and all of a sudden I found myself beginning to write what I'm going to share Back by the time I got to Spokane. I had my speech. I hadn't planned on using it as my speech I had another one, but but all of a sudden I had I had one that was fresh one that was kind of just from my heart And it's about people in this whole number 10 principle. So there are five things I know about people number one Everybody wants to be somebody I Know that about people everybody wants to be somebody George Adams states There are high spots in all of our lives and most of them have come about through in the encouragement from someone else I don't care how great how famous or successful a man or a woman may be each hungers for applause Well, I lived in San Diego It was just kind of a ritual of mine because it was always on the way to the gate where I would fly out to Go speak somewhere that I would go by the shoe shine place and Melvin the shoe shine guy was always there and I would get my shoes shine whether they needed to be shine or not And I would sit there as Melvin would shine my shoes and I talked to him about Little League Baseball Because that's what he had done all of his life for over 40 years. He was a Little League Baseball coach And I had asked him about his teams and what were his best teams And I think he'd had three or four guys that he taught in Little League that went on into the majors and I talked to him about that But every time I'd leave him I would give him a good tip and I'd say to him Melvin One of my regrets in life is that I wasn't on your Little League Baseball team He'd smile and wave to me and sometimes he'd say, oh you should have been John you should have been Here's what I know. Here's what I know about Melvin. Here's what I know about you Here's what I know about me Everybody wants to be somebody number two Nobody cares how much you know until they know How much you care? You may try to impress people with your knowledge, but you impact people with your compassion Number three everybody needs somebody I Love watching people sometimes who think they don't need anybody Just hang around with them long enough and you and I will get in enough trouble and deep enough We eat that we'll have to have somebody come and help us out and bail bail us out and number four anybody that helps somebody Influences a lot of bodies because influence grows and goes By adding value to others and number five somebody today will rise up and become somebody And I can remember doing that that that little lesson and spoke and and it just kind of became something that I talk about once in a while because it's all about believing in people Now if you have a hard time believing in people think about this number one our Disappointment in a few people should not stop us from believing in people Too often I find that if someone disappoints us It causes us to pull away and stop believing in people It's happened to me before I can still remember My first staff hiring Where I poured myself into a staff member only to have it work out real bad real Finally, I had to let him go And I could still remember saying to myself wow this is not good I gave him a lot of my time gave him a lot of my energy still had to let him go I didn't like this at all in fact and I got close to him I really cared for me that got hurt by him and I can still remember saying to myself, you know what I know what I'm gonna do When I hire people from now on I'm gonna give him a job And I'm gonna have my job and I'm not gonna have a relationship with him at all In fact, I'm gonna I'm gonna tell him you know you do your job. I'll do my job and we'll meet at Christmas Well, what I discovered is obvious to you already The good news is if you don't let people close to you they won't hurt you The bad news is if you don't let people close to you they won't help you either and I began to learn very quickly that just because I had been disappointed in a relationship with someone Doesn't mean that I should be disappointed with everyone number two a trusting heart is emotionally healthy It is booked a trusting heart dr. Williams director of behavioral medicine research Center Duke University Medical Center rights Those who have a trusting heart are more likely to remain healthy throughout most of their lives And to live long He says that such a heart believes in the basic goodness of humankind that most people will be fair and kind in relationships with others A soft heart. He says it's more likely to be a healthy one number three We behave in light of our beliefs In other words, if you don't like people or don't believe in them You really won't be able to fake it. Have you ever had somebody Try to fake belief in you Or they just kind of you know, they just kind of tried to pump you up when you knew that it was a It was purely out of wrong motives and you know, it's just phony. You can just you can see it You can just smell it. You can see it and smell it coming is what you can't You don't want to go there number four a healthy marriage is built on positive expectation Marcus Buckingham, of course, I talked about this book earlier about now discover your strength said the number one sign This is amazing the number one sign of a healthy marriage is that the spouses see each other more positively than other people do And anytime a partner esteems his or her spouse lower than outsiders do it's a sign that there is trouble in the relations So I've previously shared I've done a little bit of counseling. I've done quite a bit of marriage counseling pre marriage counseling And I have come to discover that the only difference between pre marriage counseling And counseling people whose marriage is in trouble is very simple Before they're married. They believe the best in each other I kid you not I mean don't come in there and they'll sit in the office and You know, you can't already get their attention. They're just looking at each other You know And he doesn't have a job and I'll point out. Well, you don't even have financial security before you get He doesn't even have a job. I know but we'll find one We love each other and you only have one car. I know it, but he'll take me to work and then drop me off You know, in fact, I finally quit doing pre marriage counseling because Yeah Nobody's home. You know what I'm talking about It's just nobody's home. You just no matter what you say It's okay to be wonderful and yes, and I believe in him and I she's the most wonderful person Six months later. They're back in the office They're married And we got problems in riverside Just the difference between pre marriage and marriage is very simple Before you get married you believe the best in the person and when you get married and begin to know them You begin to focus on the worst of the person And that is The difference It's focus Before marriage you put a ten on their heads After marriage You have a 1.5 On their heads number five Expressing belief in people's potential Encourages them to reach their potential It's not enough just to believe in people to think that they are tens. You need to express that belief Goatee said Treat a man as he appears to be and you make him worse But treat a man as if he already were what he potentially could be and you make him What he should be I truly believe in this principle Try it I know what you're thinking already. You're saying well, what if I got to put a ten on somebody said I think it's going to be probably not true because I think they're really a two But then don't put a ten on their head Try a four or five Here's what I want you to do Put a higher number on their head than you normally have And watch it how it changes the relationship Because you and I when somebody believes in us we know it And let me tell you about belief in people and having people believe in you Your behavior around the person that believes in you Is much better Than it is around a person who doesn't believe in you You will do everything and I will do everything in my power never to Pull down The expectations that people have in us people principle number 11 Probably of all the people principles. This is the most difficult okay So probably we'll share our thoughts if there are any questions So we looked at two right the charisma principle Which is about being interested in people and caring for people and and really those some of those practical things That that really draws people to us and In our effort to be other focused right And then we looked at the number 10 principle, which means, you know Why we say 10 is 10 is actually Considered to be a perfect score Yeah, that's true John so much of charisma while you're talking also Yeah, you know the 10 is considered to be a you know, perfect score like in gymnastics or diving It's a perfect score right if you notice That each of those three judges who are there will have the score is out of 10 So if somebody scores a 10 means it's you know, they've scored the perfect score The maximum that is possible. So when we say we'll put a 10 on that person we're esteeming that person That so much higher that they are the best so yeah, so You know, what what has been your experience? Maybe you're Any questions on that? Maybe your misgivings on that Anything at all? I just want to share What I learned very blessed through the session and I just felt that We say love people and it's a very easy sentence But there is a lot of work in it to give the importance to them To have the extent principle Big picture There's a lot of principles. There's a lot of work on it. And I also loved when he said A crushing heart is emotionally healthy and and I remembered every verse in the bread and about trust and I felt that yeah, when we trust God, we are also emotionally healthy And that was that that really hit me like oh the testing heart is emotionally healthy Sometimes all that we need to do is have someone to trust so Yeah, I think I'm really working every single day This is what I learned like loving people has some work And this is actually Yeah, true. Thanks Divina. Thank you. Yeah, the whole the whole thing of trust, you know, like Not letting the disappointment of people disappointing us You know, some people disappointing us Let it not stop us from trusting people and we see this in the life of you know, the Lord Jesus And sometimes, you know, we are we really amazed, you know, how can he trust Peter? And how can he trust Peter after he denied them price? And to such an extent how can he even trust him? How can he say, you know, Peter Like feed my lambs and how can you do that? Right. Now, of course, he brought Peter to a place of restoration Like we need to we need to acknowledge that he brought Peter to a place of restoration And of course Peter was empowered by the Holy Spirit Uh, you know, these two things happened But the fact is that the Lord trusted him The Lord cared for him Uh enough To trust to trust him again Well, that's uh, that's a big one Right. So so in in practically work. Yeah. Yeah, Divya I'm sorry pastor didn't want to interrupt you. No, let's go ahead. Yeah, sure. Yeah. Yeah Same here. I was just as I was hearing like how Uh To give a score of at least, you know, uh to another person whom you may think a score of two At least give a higher score, right and how the relationship Is changed and progressing Uh, so I I was just fondly remembering all those people, uh, who even in my life, uh, journey, uh, when I was not able to believe There were people who believed that I you that you could do it or yeah, it's, uh, you have the potential or Those those encouragements. I fondly remember those people and yeah Even that motivates us also to do that to others, right? It's not That we receive that but we can even give that Also, uh, it was very interesting to hear the platinum rule Uh, that uh treat others as they want to be treated Uh, yeah, and also loved how he brought the The concept of you know, the relation marriage relationship into it Um And it's a very good point. Like if we are looking at you know, the the best and the other person Yeah, it's a healthy. Yeah. It's a very good point to actually. Yeah. Yeah, it's that way Yeah, yeah, so true So true. Yeah, because uh, I mean it's a difficult thing again Like jeffina was saying to practically work that out, you know in loving others So believing the best of people especially when they let you down um, and of course About again, uh process of You know, uh, let's say when when we want to entrust responsibilities. I'm just talking about, you know, maybe a leader team leader Maybe a very, uh, you know formal leadership Maybe in a secular setting also like we want to entrust that same responsibility Now we just need to make sure that Uh, you know that they are in that place of Uh, let's say repentance that they they are ready again Right in order to for us to really trust and do that but Uh, if they're in that place and uh, you know, are we are we still viewing them with suspicion? You know, that's the that's the thing. That's the question and um, because Yeah, many times, uh, you know Our life can be full of suspicion and we can wrongly call it as discernment Right, so being suspicious Is not discernment discernment is something else, right? So, um, so we need to make that difference distinction that it's not You know suspicion um, yeah You know, just a quick thing about, you know, he quotes from about Dale Carnegie And like I really do not know where Dale Carnegie's faith is, you know, like most of these sources Um, they are these are people known for their practical wisdom The places where he's quoting from and so on like they So I just wanted us to you know, remind us of that Like some of these sources that he's quoting from may not be necessarily christian And and the fact is that lord is god is using him in a you know, cutting across um across the religious platforms cutting across denominations and so on and in the in a place like, uh, you know, in a Well, if you want to call it that the mountain of business Seven mountains the mountain of business Um and to bring in to usher in these principles, which is which is amazing that a lot of people respect A lot of people to see it a lot of people to practice it and it's it's coming into the In the corporate sector, you know, that is that is amazing that to be a voice of voice of truth In the corporate sector where the lord, you know gives that kind of sphere of influence. So, uh, that's that's really amazing. So Uh, you know, that's something to really admire and to be inspired about that The lord can actually do that with a person with a life that is yielded because Um, then john c max will leave you had a you know, thriving congregation. I think a few thousands If you look at this, uh, you know church ministry and so on but then the lord said, okay, you need to do this and then expanded the scope and and really widened the Sphere of influence to that extent, right? Okay. Okay, let's uh, we have some more time. So let's watch the rest of the video and uh, yeah We'll just take some time to do that and the confrontation principle basically says caring for people should proceed Confronting them conflict is like cancer Early detection increases the possibility of a healthy outcome and the question I must ask myself is do I care enough To confront the right way now. Let me just stop here for a moment. Let's go back to it. What this principle is all about caring for people should proceed confronting In fact, I'm going to go out on the limb here If you don't care for them My guess is that if you do confront them You will do it incorrectly The foundation of confrontation must be a desire to help people Not a desire to hurt people That is the line I always look for When somebody says I've got to go confront somebody at work. I've got to go confront somebody. I gotta I gotta confront somebody in the family If I have a moment I always ask them Do you really care for that person? And do you really desire for them to succeed? If so Go confront But if somehow you're wanting to give them a piece of your mind you're wanting to put them in your place You're wanting to let them know where they stand We have trouble So comments about conflict one it's unavoidable You know, what do they always say death and taxes, you know what I mean? Let me tell you something else conflict when you deal with people you know As long as adam lived alone There was not much conflict. Although most people I know if they lived alone and met no one else they would still have major conflict I have met the enemy and it is me But when Eve appeared Sparks are going to fly Number two, it's it's difficult confrontation is is is difficult In fact, I used to do a conference on how to confront and how to deal with conflict And I would always ask this question. How many of you right now have conflict with somebody and it would be 100% everybody raised their hand If I ask you today everybody has conflict with somebody we all do I do you do we all do okay But interestingly enough, I'd say how many of you have sat down in the correct way privately And dealt with the issue with that person And we would go from a hundred percent to about five percent In other words, the vast majority of the people have really never done or dealt with the situation So number three how we handle conflict determines our success in tough situations For example, let me give you some wrong strategies in dealing with conflict strategies such as when at all cost That's not why you have confrontation. That's not why you deal with conflict Your goal isn't to win at all cost. It's it's it's like a shootout at the okay corral. It's quick brutal and destructive or Here's another wrong strategy pretend it doesn't exist If you hear no evil see no evil and speak no evil evil will not cease to exist Or three well, this one's very hard on me Wine about it I have a heavy dislike for winers Winners aren't winers and winers aren't winners And playing the victim doesn't cure the conflict. It just irritates everybody At least it irritates me Or another wrong strategy is keep score People who keep a record of wrongs Can't ever start over fresh and nobody can ever get even Don't you know some of you they just keep score. They just keep score another one is pull rank Using position never really resolves conflict. It it merely postpones it or Sometimes we white flag it which is pure surrender. We just quit So let me give you what I would call a road map for healthy confrontation Conflict resolution isn't complicated Intellectually it's simple, but emotionally it can be difficult It requires honesty humility and dedication to the relationship. Here's the six-step plan Number one confront a person only if you care for that person We've already talked about that But always check your heart before you confront Number two meet together as soon as possible In other words, if there is conflict to deal with and confrontation It doesn't help in just constantly delaying it. In fact, in your second paragraph in your note Consultant Fred Smith Who has been one of my mentors in leadership Spoke of his experience and here's what he said whenever I'm tempted not to act in a difficult personnel situation I asked myself am I holding back for my personal comfort or am I holding back for the good of the organization? And I thought what a wonderful way to separate emotionally because we all hold back because let me tell you something Let me just do a little survey. How many of you have ever had to confront somebody on something on something? and perhaps procrastinated a little bit before doing Boy that that that that is the common denominator of all of us, isn't it? Huh? We know we should but boy we find 17 reasons why and why we shouldn't couldn't inhabit Fred Smith said when I'm holding back in confrontation Am I doing that because of me personally? Or am I doing that for the good of the organization there because for their example Maybe a leader will have to hold back for a period of time because it's the timing's not right But am I doing it am I doing that doing it because the timing's not right or am I doing because I'm not ready to do it yet By the way, the reason I say confront as soon as possible There is a thing that I see that causes tremendous problems. I call it gunny sacking. I don't that's not the right word But basically it's where somebody has issues with somebody and instead of telling them They just put it in the gunny sack And they just keep putting stuff in there and one day all hell breaks loose And they start talking and they say well, let me tell you this and by the way And then there's this issue and then we got that issue and four years ago that happened and and they just kill him I've always had a very simple principle with anybody I've ever worked with all the presidents of my companies anybody I've ever worked with I'm very simple if there is a problem You will know about it You never need to look at me and say Is he having a problem with me? Does he have an issue with me? Is there something he needs to fix? No, no, no You will know about it immediately I never gunny sack Because I don't want it to happen to me from someone and I would never do it to someone else number three first seek understanding Not necessarily agreement Now this is where conflict many times in confrontation does not succeed We're trying to get agreement instead of understanding now. Let me go on here a significant hindrance to positive conflict Is having too many preconceived notions going into a confrontation There's a saying the person who gives an opinion before he understands is human But the person who gives a judgment before he understands is a fool Abraham Lincoln Was well known for his tremendous people skills He remarked when I'm getting ready to reason with a man I spend one third of my time thinking about myself and what I'm going to say and two thirds of the time thinking about him And what he's going to say What a good rule of thumb kettering said There's a great difference between knowing and understanding. You can know a lot about something and not really understand it number four outline the issue And I have three thoughts about an outline the issue describe your perceptions And let them know when you describe your perceptions that what I see could be totally wrong Please feel free to correct me to tell how it makes you feel Let them know if it makes you angry or if it frustrates you and finally explain Why this is important to you? Here's the reason we're talking about this It's not to make me feel better It's and we're talking about this because we have to fix it so that our relationship can be what it can be and we can Do things successfully together. Okay number five encourage a response One statement out of that long paragraph one of the best ways to persuade others is with your ears by listening to them When confronting people I've discovered the following This is very true 50% of the time People don't realize There is a problem In other words when you sit down and confront people Half the time they didn't realize there was even a problem. So therefore in confronting them. It's just kind of like oh my goodness Thanks for telling me. I didn't I didn't have I didn't have a clue 30% of them realized there was a problem But they didn't know how to solve it. So the very fact that you're sitting down with them Is helping the two of you to solve it and 20% Realized that there was a problem, but they did not want to solve it The bad news is that one out of five people Really does not want to seek positive resolution The good news is that 80% of the time there is great potential to solve the conflict. Okay We've been talking about the connection level in relationship There's the big picture principle the entire population of the world with one minor exception is composed of others The exchange principle instead of putting others in their place. We must put ourselves in their place These all are people principles that help us connect The learning principle each person we meet has the potential to teach us something The charisma principle people are interested in the person who is interested in them The number 10 principle believing the best in people usually brings out the best in people And the confrontation principle Caring for people should precede confronting people Well, that was nice. Wasn't it? confrontation principle And and I think that was an eye opener you know that Like I don't know how far those percentages are Accurate but then really the health give us an idea 50% Don't know there's a problem and you know 30% Know there's a problem, but don't know how to solve it. It's only that 80% Which actually know there's a problem and don't want to solve it right so actually The 80% I mean the 20% so the 80% actually You know is a good number to work with and You know to enable to help and then of course there is that 20% which don't want to solve it, which is why when we need to reason with and and then those three three things right that That you want to understand and also I forget the second one, but the third one is that that This is why it is important that you want to solve it and so To get them also, you know on the same page like Okay, but a lot depends on us Like the whole thing of caring before converting ever confronting, you know where we prepare our hearts you know and so true that we go before the Lord and we We you know prepare our hearts that there is no bitterness and hatred and And bias and you know all that and all the things of the past Is not resident with him. So we just Get all those things sorted And that happens when we are you know when we go before the Lord where he's able to just You know give a clean slate and and remove all that thing and then we go empowered and free right empowered by the Holy Spirit and really free in our spirit to To to love for the person to solve and You know having a clear mind as well to to solve the issue Objectivity and everything flows from that place Okay, so we will we'll stop here And then we'll pick it up next next class. So there will also be an online You know quiz coming up. So we'll we'll just put it on the screen And it'll have a submission date as well So you can be you know, you just prepare for that. So online students. I mean E-learning students also it'll be there You know, it'll be shared sometime this week and you can look out for that Okay, thank you. God bless See you