 Hey hey, welcome to Half the Battle, and welcome to a relaxing summer schedule where we take a look at smaller vehicles and play sets, and we're starting off with a mash. Hold it right there, Steve! How did you know it was me? Put that mask back on, you idiot! Don't you know there's a plague going around? Right. Sorry. Why are you interrupting my review of the swamp masher? Your review? You're dressed like me, you called your show Half the Battle, and I reviewed this thing a few weeks ago. This is my review of the swamp masher. I'm calling dibs. Reviewer dibs isn't a thing. Besides, I put the swamp masher up on a Patreon poll, and it won. It finally won. Is that so, huh? Did it really win? Well, not really. The poll was a tie, so I picked the winner. Aha! You picked, and yet you said you wouldn't review it until it won. Plus, you know, you're dressed like me, and you're copying my video word for word. Cease and assist this copyright infringement at once! I don't see how you're gonna stop me. I've been waiting for years to review this thing, and I'm finally going to do it. Oh, I can stop you. I have a secret weapon. I hate to use it, but you leave me no choice. Say hello to my little friend, my lawyer. Hello, Mr. 788, if that is your real name. I am Race Judicata Esquire of the law firm Sui Sponte. You are in direct violation of my client's copyright. If you do not cease and assist this unauthorized use of his intellectual property, immediately I will be forced to sue you for eight million dollars, and to have the SWAT team sent to your house for a full body cavity search. Uh, it is true the swamp masher didn't really win the poll, and I said I wouldn't review it until it won, so I'll review the cobra ferret instead. Good! Now tell the good people the real reason we're doing this bit. Oh right, shameless self-promotion. Half the battle is going for 2,020 subscribers in 2020. Timmer is at about 1,800 subscribers now, so let's make this happen. Subscribe to Half the Battle today. Link is in the description below. If that's your thing. Commander788 here. This is the show where we review every vintage G.I. Joe toy from 1982 to 1994. Before we get started, I need to give a code name to a new patron. Drew Walker has added his support on Patreon. Drew is a unique and powerful person. In fact, he's the last of his kind. Drew's code name is Drew Space Walker the Last Drew Die. Thank you for your support. For the last couple years, I've put the swamp masher up in Patreon polls and it always loses. I swore I wouldn't review it until it won. And this time, it still didn't win. It tied with the cobra ferret. So welcome to my review of the cobra ferret. The ferret is a classic vehicle from the golden age of vintage G.I. Joe. It is well known and popular and spoiler, I really like it. I am not sorry to be reviewing this toy. Since this is a cobra toy and cobra convergence is set to start at the first of August, you can consider this a cobra convergence prologue. HCC788 presents the Cobra Ferret. This is the 1985 Cobra Ferret ATV. This small vehicle was first introduced in 1985 and was also available in 1986. It was discontinued for 1987. It did not include an action figure. It was later available by mail order from 1989 to 1993. The last couple years of mail away ferrets were made in a lighter blue plastic. The later ferrets were available in catalogs such as this one. If you open it up, you can find the ferret right there. This ferret in the photograph is in the dark blue plastic, but this is a later catalog. So the one you would have received probably would have been the light blue one. According to the order form, the ferret was three flag points and $8.50. Besides the dark blue and light blue variants, this mold was used one other time in the vintage era for the 1988 Tiger Force Tiger Claw. This iteration was a G.I. Joe vehicle, not Cobra. The ferret is a four-wheel all-terrain vehicle. Large vehicles exist in the real world and are mostly used for sport and recreation. It's a dangerous machine with thousands of deaths attributed to four-wheel ATV accidents. But considering how little regard Cobra has for the safety of its troops, it's the perfect vehicle for them. There's an entry for the ferret in Dan Klingensmith's book 3.75 Joe Volume 4. It was designed for Hasbro by Wayne Luther, the same person who designed the Sky Striker. It was originally envisioned as a three-wheel vehicle called the Cobra Bat, standing for ballistic attack trike. Later in the design process, it was beefed up to a four-wheel vehicle called the Cobra Python ATV. The name ferret comes from a small furry burrowing animal. Ferrets were traditionally used to hunt rabbits and moles, and that's where we get the term ferretting out. There's a British pub sport called ferretlegging, which involves putting a ferret in your trousers. I don't see the appeal. This isn't the only time the name ferret was used in the vintage GI Joe toy line. In 1988, the driver of Destro's demon tank was also called a ferret. That means you can have a ferret on a ferret. I think ferret is a good name for this vehicle. It's a small vehicle that can go anywhere and hunt down the Joes. There is something peculiar about the box art for the ferret. The artwork is mostly accurate to the toy, except for one thing. This large red cannon in the box art is on the wrong side. GI Joe had two motorcycles by the time the ferret was released. The 1982 Ram and the 1985 Silver Mirage. Cobra didn't have any motorcycles by that point. This is despite the fact that Cobra had a motorcycle gang that worked with them. The Dreadnox in 1985. The ferret is not a motorcycle, but it could be used for the Dreadnox and sometimes it was used that way in media. In 1986, the Dreadnox got a true motorcycle with the Sears Exclusive Dreadnock Ground Assault set, but it was just a recolored reissue of the GI Joe Ram. Also because it was a Sears Exclusive, it is very rare. In 1987, the Dreadnox got the Dreadnox Cycle, which was a three-wheeled vehicle and still not quite a traditional motorcycle. For most fans, the ferret was the closest we would get to a motorcycle for the Dreadnox. The closest GI Joe counterpart to the ferret in 1985 was the Silver Mirage, which was an actual motorcycle. Though they are in the same class, these two vehicles are very different, both in style and features. And I would say in quality too. I have the instruction sheet and the blueprints for the Cobra ferret. It's a surprisingly large sheet for a vehicle this size. I will be referring to these blueprints when I talk about some of the features. Let's look at the parts and the features of the Cobra ferret. This is a popular vehicle with some peculiar design choices. We will look at all of them. The overall color scheme is dark blue with red and some dark gray and black details. Although the lighter blue mail away version is more sought after, I like the dark blue better. In front we have red machine guns. This is a small double barrel machine gun turret. It will tilt up and down with a good range of motion and that machine gun is linked to the red handlebars, so when you turn the handlebars, the machine gun will turn as well. The blueprints call these driver controlled synchronized 50 caliber machine guns. There is no way these rinky dink guns are 50 caliber machine guns. Behind the machine gun we have the handlebars. They are red. They will turn left and right and they will control the machine gun. It is possible to fit an action figure's hands on these handlebars. I've seen other collectors do it, but they are kind of thick and I would worry about breaking the action figure's thumbs, so I will not try that. Behind the handlebars there is the seat. It is black. It is possible to fit two action figures on that seat, but they have to get up close and personal. The ferret is often depicted as carrying two people. For instance, when it appeared in the comic book and in TV commercials, it was written by Tomax and Zemot, the Crimson Guard commanders. The main body of the ferret is dark blue with some good details, nice curves on these splash guards over the wheels. It gives it a sporty look. The mounts for the missiles stick out pretty far so the missiles can clear the wheels and that broadens the footprint of the ferret quite a bit. It's a surprisingly substantial vehicle for its size. The back end of the ferret sits higher than the front end and I think that looks cool. That makes it look fierce. These splash guards around the back wheels have black extensions on the sides. There's a cutaway on the body of the vehicle that reveals a dark gray engine and you can see that engine detail on both sides. It's good engine detail and those details continue to the underside of the vehicle. There are wide missile mounts on each side and they can hold these two red missiles and we need to talk about these missiles. These missiles are red. They have two slots that run all the way through the shaft of the missile and this is what mounts on the ferret. It will go either way. You can turn the missiles around and mount them the other direction but it doesn't really matter. They don't make any sense either way. The problem with these missiles is obvious. I probably don't even need to mention it but I will anyway. They are pointed at both ends. How are these missiles supposed to fire? Is one end supposed to be the rocket or does it shoot in both directions at the same time? Is it supposed to split in half? The blueprints call these laser seeking combat rockets. That doesn't help at all. As unique as these missiles seem, they are not original. They consist of two other missiles spliced together. One end of the two way missile comes from 1984 scrap iron. Just slightly remolded. The other end of the two way missile comes from the 1984 vamp mark 2. Moving on we have this large cannon mounted on the port side. It is red. It is very big. It runs almost the full length of the vehicle. It has a mounting post on the front fender and on the back fender. The blueprints call this a side slug electronic CMF 10 round launcher. Launcher of what exactly? I don't think this really is a big cannon. That would be way too big for a vehicle this size. I think this is something more along the lines of a rocket propelled grenade launcher. There's a black flexible plastic hose that connects the side of the cannon to the body of the vehicle. That's a frequently missing piece. The ferret has four wheels, of course. They each roll independently. Each wheel has a blue rim and an exposed mushroom clip that connects the wheel to the axle. That's not a great look, especially since the front and back axles are different colors. But the wheels are still pretty cool, so that's easy to overlook. The tires on those wheels are black, soft, rubber like plastic. They are wide, thick wheels with deep grooves for treads. On each wheel is stamped PNR-16 and Cobra ATV. As if that isn't enough, the front two wheels will steer left and right. The steering is not linked to the handlebars. The handlebars control the gun instead. But even so, nice to get some steering up in front. On the underside, you can see the axles are connected with a dark gray cross frame, and that sort of works like a suspension for them. These wheels are great. These fat tires really make this vehicle for me. In the back, we have two big dark gray hot rod looking exhaust pipes. They run straight from that engine, and these add to the look of power. Directly behind the seat is a removable panel. This is a storage compartment cover. The storage compartment itself is very small. You won't be able to fit very much in there. Not many weapons. In fact, maybe just a pistol. But you can keep some small items hidden back there, so the rider can maybe have an extra weapon. On the starboard side fender, there is a refueling port. This could be used with a few play sets that had refueling hoses, such as the 1986 Terror Drone. These fueling ports started showing up on 1985 vehicles. It was a nice feature that never really caught on. Who should ride on the ferret? The box art shows storm shadow and firefly. They're fine, but there are other options. Tomax and Xamot have red and blue uniforms that somewhat match the ferret's colors, and their silver details add another dimension. My favorite, though, is scrap iron. His uniform has blue and red. It also has black, which further matches the ferret, and the ferret has half of his missiles. Looking at how the ferret was used in G.I. Joe Media, it had numerous appearances in the animated series, but it was never very prominent. It first appeared in the miniseries Pyramid of Darkness, and it was used by the Dreadnoughts. The Dreadnoughts were a motorcycle gang without motorcycles, so the ferret was an easy way to solve that problem, other than just giving them motorcycles. Looking at the comic book series published by Marvel Comics, the ferret first appeared in issue number 37. It was used by Tomax and Xamot in an attack on the Joes in a circus. The twins did some acrobatic riding on the ferret. It made another significant appearance in issue number 43, where it was written by Firefly and Scrap Iron. They were patrolling the streets of Springfield. This led to the death of some significant side characters. The ferret wasn't often used by the Dreadnoughts because in the comic book, the Dreadnoughts actually had motorcycles. It was sometimes used by the Dreadnoughts, though. They can be seen using the ferret in issue number 79. In issue number 81, the Dreadnoughts are again riding ferrets. In the later years, the Dreadnoughts seem to have taken more advantage of their access to Cobra's fleet of vehicles. Looking at the ferret overall, it's awesome. It's a small vehicle loaded with features. The handlebars linked to the machine gun is cool. The fat tires are cool. The dark blue color with the red accessories looks cool. The details on the body and the engine are cool. Almost everything on this vehicle is cool. Even though it isn't a motorcycle, it still works for the Dreadnoughts. It outshines GI Joe's motorcycle from the same year, the Silver Mirage. The ferret is solid, sturdy, and rugged. The Silver Mirage is sleek and sporty, but flimsy and easily broken. There's no question which one I would take into that. Are there downsides to the ferret? A few, most definitely. The front guns are a little too small. The storage compartment is too small to hold anything larger than a pistol. The two-way missiles make no sense. Honestly, how did those get approved? How many drinks did the designer have when he glued those two missile tips together and decided, that looks good? The good points far outweigh the bad points. This was a small vehicle that could go anywhere. It was an inexpensive vehicle, retailing for less than $4. Any kid could have one of these and send his Dreadnoughts on a mission of destruction at GI Joe headquarters. That was my review of the Cobra ferret. Thank you Timmer for not suing me. If you haven't seen Timmer on Half the Battle, he's one of the most experienced GI Joe reviewers on YouTube. Let's help him get to 2,020 subscribers in 2020. Thank you Drew Space Walker, the last Drew die for your support. I will be taking next week off to work on Cobra Convergence 5. Yes, I know that's two weeks off in one month, but it can't be helped. Cobra Convergence 5 starts on August 1st, and we've got a lot of great updates coming for you, so make sure you keep your eyes out for that. Thanks for watching, and I will see you all for Cobra Convergence 5. Shameless self-promotion. Half the Battle is going for 2,020 subscribers in 2020. Damn it.