 Hey friends, this is Dan and Stephanie Burke behind the scenes divine intimacy radio a third part in the series with Father Altier If you missed the previous They'll be they're either there now or they'll be published eventually Out at spiritual direction calm We'll be talking about his book. God's plan for your marriage So I think we should just jump in ready Mark said go This is Dan Stephanie Burke welcome to divine intimacy radio your radio Haven of rest Your hermitage of the heart your monastery of the mind where we lift our hearts and minds to heaven to draw upon the wisdom of The saints the teaching of the church To help us to navigate this challenging life and what we're talking about today is a great and beautiful reality of marriage And how it is that God has designed us In terms of coming together in marriage and I I really want you to Listen closely to this this broadcast And I want you to send this out to your friends because you every one of us knows broken marriages every one of us knows People who are in marriages, but they don't have hope and they just don't see any way out of The mess they're in and they're thinking about divorce Or even couples who are doing very well, but have never really tapped into the The deep wisdom that can be found in this book God's plan for your marriage about what The glorious and highest order of reality Marriage is which I think for the first time in the church and this is a bold claim But father but Cardinal Burke has reviewed the book and I think would back up this claim I think father dr. Bob shoots The same is for the first time. God's giving us a new perspective and tools Really as a grace to deal with the challenges the unique Challenges of our time and the devastation of marriage in modern culture. Absolutely So we're gonna start to move forward into the to our next chapters But I want to go back just and touch on on one thing in the new creation And that was chapter four of these two souls coming together You know for those who have been following along with us these two souls coming together who then became a new creation in them This is the they're being joined the soul is being joined the two souls in the sacrament of matrimony and I'm about to say something that I've only spoken to my husband, but I I'm super passionate about this because I've lived a broken marriage and having a healed Vibrant marriage in Christ is is just Transformational my life who I am as a person is is not the same person. I was 20 years ago 30 years ago. I'm a different person You know, it's Christ is transformative, you know, he he changes us he brings us into union with him to become who we're called to be and I just had this reflection, you know for those who know our ministry who know all this, you know When Dan and I got married, we were both broken individuals. We were trying to get Christ at the center We've begun spiritual direction, you know All the things that we talk and teach about is what we did at the very beginnings what we continue to do To get right with God right to go through the the purgative and And just move along the path and the journey that the Lord was doing for us And I said to Dan not too long ago as we were getting ready for this I said, let me just ask you something I said if we had never been married Do you Would would the ministry have been possible? If we had never been married if you had just stayed a single guy, you know broken divorced You know trying to raise your boys Would the ministry have have been birds and flourish, you know, God can do all things But he said no it wouldn't have been possible, you know us coming together and this is not about me I'll just make that clear But us coming together in the sacrament of holy matrimony created something new We became a new creation and through our Desire that the Lord had placed in our heart our cooperation the graces many beautiful holy priests and and spiritual directors The ministry is now touching Thousands and thousands millions of people all over the world And I believe it's through the grace and the power of marriage And and that's what I want to get forth to people That they don't understand the reason the enemy hates your marriage And wants it destroyed is because how powerful The Lord what he can do in a holy In a holy marriage what he desires to do Well and marriage it is the foundation of society It's the foundation of the church the devil wants to destroy both of those But also you recognize In a marriage what happens in that new creation that Not only did the two start out as two totally separate unique individuals, but you go back to the Garden of Eden Adam started with a certain fullness within himself And then eve was made from adam He lost part of what he was And and so it's in marriage that the fullness of humanity is united And so we are obviously we're both human male and female. There's a fullness that's there But the differences between males and females Bring come together in marriage. And so there is a true fullness of humanity That is there when the two are united to become one And and so again, that's part of that that new creation That's there and but it is the foundation For what you're doing. It's uh the nature, you know when we even talked about God is love You know love by its nature overflows whatever boundaries we can put upon it and that love in a marriage You know becomes life giving it must be life giving you can't just be in love with one another and stare at each other and just You know be enamored with one another it has to go beyond the two Normally, of course, that's going to be life giving for children But it also becomes life giving for others and that's exactly what you're doing In this ministry it is it is overflowing And so as as you pray together and as you build not only your own individual spiritual life But spiritual life together as a couple Then it begins to overflow that that and and so The the more that God is going to to bless this ministry with The more the prayer has to be at the foundation and the spiritual union that is yours Has to be so well rooted so that the devil can't push it over or dig it up so amen amen and that leads us obviously in the consummodum est The the next chapter and it's interesting You know, I've had a theory and I wonder what you think about it. I mean, of course as an exorcist. Do you understand? The devil's work very well I I have always thought that the reason that The enemy works so hard on sexual corruption is to ruin The the most important image That you can have of what is divine union because of course all of the spiritual doctors of the church to sales and and John of the cross trees of avila at list goes on and on Used the The pure and holy marital embrace as the highest analogy to describe Union with God union of the wills Perfect and holy self-giving and all of that so in consummodum est you talk about prayer And and I think you're talking about mental prayer fundamentally, which is Which is a prayer that unites us with the one for whom we were made and in whom we we live and breathe and have our being Um as essential for marriage. So do you agree with the idea that that's why satan corrupt sexuality As much as he does and and then talk with us about consummodum est And and it is and of course the corruption of sexuality Sexuality is supposed to be the expression of marriage. So therefore within marriage It is the expression of the love of the union of the two. So the physical Union expresses the spiritual union And and so so what the devil does then in corrupting sexuality is he makes it selfish And and so again it then is the opposite of what it's supposed to be rather than the expression of love It becomes self-seeking. It becomes pleasure seeking And so rather than a gift that's given So obviously there's going to be a lot of pleasure that's involved in this but If you're taking from the other you're not loving the other If you receive the gift the other is giving to you Then that receiving is actually part of the gift that you're giving to the other person Because to to look at and say no, no, no, I don't want what you want to give to me Well, that that's a rejection of that person's gift And so the the the receiving of the gift is part of the gift that you give But if you're taking from the other I want what you have for me. I want my pleasure Number one, it's never going to fulfill And number two, it's a selfish thing. You're using the other person And rather than truly loving the other person And and so so you're you're exactly right on target with that and in a sexualized society like ours That has become a huge problem. It's it's all about self-seeking It's looking at others as objects. So you look at the pornographic issue that we've got in our society I mean, it's just Women have been particularly presented as objects for men to ogle and lust after and so on And and so this has affected the way women look at at themselves as just objects And obviously and and that the dignity that women Are so Low in their dignity because they've been treated this way And then for men to think that women are just objects And so this is part of what what has to be turned around and this is again what marriage Does what a true marriage will do it will get that turned around it will it Both treat one another with respect with dignity And and then that physical expression of the marriage is truly an act of love So that's the beauty of what god created. Yeah, it's it's it's the core of theology of the body, right? It's the essence of it And you know as as we move into our break When dan and i started talking, you know, because we were truly courting we were in different states Which helped a lot right from from our brokenness to to kind of mitigate any kind of temptation there But we studied theology of the body together and I had never heard of it I was 38 years old. I had no idea it existed st. John paul II He died on my birthday You know, i'm watching these pictures of this amazing beautiful pope listening to all these things that that he Taught and and and shared with the world and i'm just weeping because i'm thinking That was my pope and i didn't know him And how is it that i missed all this because this was in my brokenness, you know, and so then two years later i'm i'm Or a year later i'm i'm talking to dan. We're studying theology of the body and i just wept through it all I thought where was this when i was 10 12 15 18, you know on into my adult Female years of not understanding The beauty and the dignity of who i was as a woman the beauty and dignity of man You know of the male Of of what it meant to be in in a sexual union with somebody the importance of it All of those things and the enemy has just done all he can to destroy that which just flows right into the marriage and really Wrecks that union that is so life giving so as we move into the break. We'll come back and Talk about kansumatum est and you are the temple Okay, 12 and a half on the final You hear that I know 12 and a half on the final. That's what i was telling me Okay, market set go This is dan stepney burk. Welcome back to divine intimacy radio. We're here with father robert altair talking about what we believe and are very confident in is a Divinely inspired text and we've never said that before and probably will never say it again About any author or any book and it's not hyperbole God's plan for your marriage and exploration of holy matrimony from genesis to the wedding feast of the lamb Published by that great publishing house of course opiants to press And we're walking through the chapters if you missed any of the shows Uh, you can find them out on spiritual direction dot com and then Let's go ahead and go ahead and jump in so we were talking about kansumatum est and I think it's Fitting to move into you are the temple What is the mystery That reflects the union of christ and his bride the church as it plays out in marriage How are those two things connected? Well, first of all it follows from the point of the kansumatum est We have to understand those are the words jesus spoke from the cross So we we were looking at first the the fact that there's a new creation You go back to genesis when god is is creating It says that when god finished his creation and then when when god finished so it uses that term twice St. John does the exact same thing In the in in the 19th chapter of his gospel when jesus is on the cross talks about being finished Consumated and and so so that's that's the foundation then so this is where jesus then enters into the marriage With his bride the church. So there's this new creation. It is finished So in in you have in the book explains this but in st. John's gospel how you've got The overturning of what happened on the first day of creation with the angels rejecting god And then the overturning of what happened after the the man and woman Had had sinned against god and so now jesus has recreated things in this censor and and so so now within the marriage We had mentioned in one of the earlier shows that that a marriage is the domestic church The family is the domestic church and so jesus with his bride the church Born from his side just as eve was born from the side of adam and and so so all the The giving and the receiving and and all of that that that we can look at with within within those that that union with with jesus and the church That then is to be reflected against st. Paul talks about this and is lettered to the Ephesians about You know how not only that the two are one But that this is a great mystery and he says I speak of christ and the church So he's talking about husband and wife, but he's talking about how it's a mystery of christ and the church So now we had talked in an earlier show about how When the two become one there is a new reality that's there a new creation that's there But now look at it a little bit differently When st. John retells us jesus spoke about destroy this temple in three days I will raise it up. He said he was speaking of the temple of his body Okay, st. Paul says of each one of us Do you not know that your body is a temple of the holy spirit? So you are the temple of the lord But now there's this new creation. There's a new reality the two become one There is a spiritual union that's there which means within the marriage There is a temple So you have the two temples That come together to make one new temple So each one still is is individually each one is still a temple But now in this new reality of marriage, there is a new temple that is made And so that is to reflect the church and so when we look at Going back to to you know our baptism And we're just looking at the church. You can say okay the three most important places in the church You've got the the tabernacle where our lord is and that should be in the most prominent spot in the church We have the baptismal font and we have the altar and and so all of us Spend only a few minutes at the baptismal font. We are baptized once We can renew our baptismal vows thousands of times if we want, but we're only baptized once so we only spend a few minutes there So the point that I make here is that okay? Jesus should be at the foundation the center the most important point in your marriage just like the the tabernacle the marriage vows The marriage itself only happens once you can renew the vows again hundreds of times if you want But the marriage only happens once just like baptism And then at the center of the church and where the point the point for most people is at the altar And so we have a priest and we have an altar And so that's the point of marriage then if the two become this temple And jesus is at the center and the two are one in this marriage And just like what happens in baptism there is a covenant that takes place and and so on And so too with the eucharist there's a covenant. So these are the three sacraments most closely related So now in marriage you have a priest and an altar The husband is the priest And the wife is the altar and and I don't mean that in the sense that she's a piece of stone or wood or whatever But but rather that this is the place where the sacrifice takes place And the sacrifice is that dying to self the total self giving and self receiving And so just as jesus pours out his life for the church the church receives that life and then in the eucharist Because now this is her own life given to her by jesus. She gives that back in the eucharist And so so the two are dying to one another to themselves and living for the other And the two give that life back to the other and that's what happens in the temple of the marriage And and so it is Just it's mind boggling to me. It just it's so beautiful. It's I mean if you could spend A lifetime meditating on just that thought Exactly. Yeah, it's it's that profound. It is so beautiful I mean, I'm thinking about the lord pouring himself out on the altar and the altar receiving The lord receiving the gift that he's offering, you know for the sake of the other and for the sake of the whole and You know all of humanity It's just incredibly beautiful and and it also Then brings to mind that if it's an if it's a temple An altar a sacrifice that can also be desecrated Exactly, right So so the ways that we desecrate marriage, you know turning away from our spouse Hating one another that the the self withholding The selfishness the bitterness The you know, you're not doing what I want. Therefore, I'm not going to do what you want kind of thing and the breakdown of marriage and how Incredibly important it is that we maintain the sag the sanctity The dignity of our marriages and and be those self-giving spouses So that that sacrifice can flourish and give life Exactly. Wow and and The point of the desecration is so important and and we need to make this point very clear that probably the most Most common point of desecration is contraception You know, it is you know as human beings God made us with a soul Which is the principle of life. He made us with a mind to know the truth. He made us with a will for love So he made us for life for love and for truth Well, when you look at contraception It violates all three It's it's a lie You're trying to express something But it but it's going through the motions, but not carrying it out. It's not true. It's not an act of love It's two people being selfish. So now it's selfish, which is the opposite of love It is no longer giving life And that doesn't mean that a baby has to be conceived, but it's not a total gift of self It's not a complete dying to self and a reception of the gift of the other Because it's two people using each other rather than loving each other Consequently, it is the desecration of the altar and and consequently of the sacrifice It becomes a sacrifice that is unacceptable And just just for the jewish people the the victim had to be perfect Any imperfection they couldn't offer that lamb the same is true within a marriage If it's the the sacrifice of the two the dying to self and receiving the gift of the other Has to be complete. It has to be perfect in that way. Otherwise. It's not a sacrifice It's just going through the motions but offering A blemished sacrifice You know Contraception also another reason we've heard you know people give for pursuing contraception Among faithful couples, whether that's withholding Or actually, you know committing the the mortal sin of contraception is fear lack of trust You know, god won't take care of me and i won't be able to provide and you know, whatever But all of the contrary to what we've been talking about in this series, which has been a beautiful series Is is really about the devil's deception, right? That it's all lies that try to keep us from the beauty of marriage I I will say, you know both stephanie and i have been through divorce and painfully so in both cases Not desired in both cases It's harmed our children, you know, it it's it's had immense consequences But the hope that I have is the same hope that I see in this book for newly married couples or couples working to restore is I could not imagine A better marriage than the marriage I have now And in foundationally even though we hadn't of course, this book is new and the principles are And some of the revelations are new and and more beautiful and clear than anything we've thought about before But fundamentally The underlying truths have been at play in our marriage And god is calling us because he designed us in a way to understand these things and live these things out to To come to a true restoration Which what we talked about in previous shows And even greater than the restoration. It's not it's not it's actually something much greater than the restoration So there's hope for everyone no matter how wrecked you are How bad your marriage is if you're alone and divorced, you know And wondering if you could ever do this again Or the right time real, you know, the right the real thing if you will Because of maybe the the marriage wasn't sacramentally valid And so you still have that opportunity to to live again the beautiful call Taking it good and going going great. Stephanie said This book really is is going to be the best place for you divine intimacy and marriage retreats Spiritual or what is it discernment of spirits and marriage by father timothy gallagher in this book? I think the combination of these things will totally turn everything upside down for the good And bring restoration healing or Greater heights than you could ever imagine So we're grateful to you father all to your for being with us To talk about god's plan for your marriage and exploration of holy matrimony from genesis To the wedding feast of the lamb, which is available out on sophia institute press And uh, we hope that um, this book will be a huge success So we ask everyone to go out and buy two And then go give it a great amazon review So that other people will buy it as well buy one for yourself and buy buy one for another couple who needs it and with that Until next time may the god of peace make you perfect in holiness May you preserve you whole and entire Spirit soul and body Irreproachable at the coming of our lord jesus christ amen and for our listeners. I want to mention I'm going to put a I'm going to let a cat out of the bag. I was wondering if I'm not great Well, we didn't talk that much we talked for 22 seconds if you will Well, maybe we should do it and and do a final wrap-up because we haven't spoken about the banquet of the lamb We did bleed into that. So I think I think it's the essence of it was there. Okay. Okay. Okay Well, so I'm going to let the cat out of the bag and that uh coming this fall and we don't have the settled dates But we are going to do divine intimacy in marriage In megagory We're going to do the divine intimacy and marriage retreat in megagory So it was the brainchild of one of the beautiful couples that's walked with us for a long time and She thought of this and so we're going to make it happen And so we're excited to do that So keep an eye out on our events page on spiritualdirection.com And if you've always wanted to go to megagory and you want to do a divine intimacy and marriage And you want to come with your spouse? this would be a very very cool combination to Let our lady kind of pour out graces on your marriage. So anyway, it's been a wonderful gift to have you with us Thank you so much. Well, thank you a great blessing to be here. Thank you