 Before I get started, I got two disclaimers. This is actually what I think about at night. And this is an attack talk. And I wrote the Vegas CFP I could to get $200. So be gentle. Some of this stuff is definitely not what we usually do at DEF CON here. So first off, my first .22 thing that keeps me up at night, late at night, is national or national events. Stuff way, way, way, way, way, way, way above my pay grade. I'm a network engineer. This stuff is way out there. And not stuff that I can deal with. That's why it's on the list. I read a bunch of briefs from security. I'm an infra-guard member. So I get these things saying, got to watch out for terrorists blowing up Chicago with a nuke. Going to destroy American democracy, blah, blah, blah. This will destroy American democracy a lot sooner. You all know this. Who here is on their voting board? Decides when this machine gets installed in your district. Anybody? You? OK. You need to be on that board. You're a citizen of this country. Get on that board. Make sure this doesn't happen. This is a bad idea, bad implementation, bad, bad, bad. And you know what? It's not going to be something huge. It's not going to be some giant system perturbation, like 9-11 was. It's going to be slow. You're not going to notice it. And then you're going to end up fucked. So, e-voting, evil. Thomas Barnett is a global geo strategist. He's got this book out called The Pentagon's New Map. He's talking about shrinking the gap. This slide is a lot smaller than I thought it was going to be. See this part? That's the gap. See this part? That's the core. We live in the core, and it's where most of our stuff happens. The gap is where all the bad stuff happens. We fought Soviets. Killed the Nazis, killed the Soviets. Now we've got globalization. Can't kill anybody. We've got to connect to the gap. You're going to find a lot more of the money and security stuff that you're dealing with is going to start happening in the gap. Thomas Barnett's a really smart guy. He gave a 20-minute hour-long talk at TED. It's online. Check it out. TED, Thomas Barnett. It's going to rock your world. It's messed with mine. Low-cost pervasive bandwidth is directly connected to shrinking the gap. You'll notice that all the big trunks don't go to the places where it sucks to live. And I care about this because I build networks in rural environments in the US where it's just like living in Angola. There's nothing out there. So I think about low-cost pervasive bandwidth. It takes lots of money in giant corporations or companies to do this, generally meaning that if there's no money there already, there's no bandwidth. So something I think about. I think about Iraq. Who here thinks about Iraq? Late at night. What are we doing? What the fuck is going on? What are we going to do about it? We represent an active, intelligent group of people. What are we going to do about it? Generally, we don't talk about these things, but this is something that ties back to that book by Barnett. Please read his book. It sounds like I'm plugging him. In Iraq, you're seeing open-source warfare for the first time. They call this 4G. It's very exciting. Michael Shearer is giving a talk today on the IED problem. It's a technical problem. It's fun. It involves circuitry and explosives. We seem to enjoy those types of things. They've open-sourced the making of weapons. We should open-source the countermeasures for that. Also, the other big revolution I think you're going to see in a lot of stuff is open-source intelligence. If you look at the way the DOD operates, it reminds me a lot of Microsoft. It's all closed. We don't talk. We were never here. We never had this discussion. Counterinsurgencies, terrorists, they talk. They share. Don't they have bulletin boards? You've all seen them, I'm sure. So something to think about there. Remember these guys? Remember September 11th? Whatever happened to them? It's kind of like they totally dropped off the map. Very conveniently, I might add. Oh, this is good. If it plays. If it plays. I literally just ran this. The price of gold has changed. Now you can get extra cash. Recycle old gold scraps, gathering dust. Call 1-800-GOLDKIT for quick cash. The gold kit is absolutely free. Send old rings, charms, dental scrap, and more. I got $600 for my scrap gold. It's easy. Call 1-800-GOLDKIT. We'll mail you the kit and payment information with a check to follow promptly. Gold kit and postage are free. Your satisfaction guaranteed. Call 1-800-GOLDKIT now or visit goldkip.com. Everyone with gold scraps, please stand up. Who has scraps of gold? Who the fuck has scraps of gold? Yes, I have scraps of gold pressed Latinum at home too. Scrap gold, not the same sentence. And by the way, grandma got a really shitty deal on grandpa's teeth. OK, so this is the stuff you might be more interested in. Hacker community, this is stuff I think about a lot. How do we remain relevant? I've noticed that we are increasingly getting very stayed, very comfortable. How do we remain relevant? How do we not become a broken social scene, which I think we've managed to make our way through? There's no giant, giant red hats giving interviews about how they're owning the pentagon anymore, or as much. And ultimately, how do we grow and increase our influence? You'll notice I don't have a lot of answers to these. That's why they keep me up at night. Could all the people who don't have penises and aren't white please stand up? I know there's more in the audience. OK, all the white guys stand up. Oh, my god. Jesus, it's a big white guy convention. This is very dangerous, but it's getting better. It's gotten a lot better this year, actually. I was very impressed. For a while there, I was freaking out that it was just going to become white nerds getting older together talking about their jobs, which is bad. It's not how you grow. It's not how you evolve. It's not how you become better. We need to get more different people in here, different from other. So that's all I got to say about that. Just keep it in mind. Eisenhower, a very smart man, said, watch out for the security for the military industrial complex. Hackers, watch out for the security industrial complex. Being a hacker doesn't mean you necessarily work in security in infosec. It also doesn't mean that your job makes you a hacker. Two different things there. I've noticed that DEF CON has gotten very corporate. We talk about our jobs a lot. We should talk about other things, things that are not relevant to our work, but are equally fun. We've all been well compensated for. We make our money doing this stuff. But are we making a progress? I've noticed that the infosec wars as of late are we get paid to make vulnerabilities and then patch them. Sure, it's rewarding, but it's fucking boring. And in the end, is it better to be the player or the dungeon master? You can play the same game over and over again, or you can rewrite the rule set. That's a lot more fun, I think. OK, Rising Hacker Nations. This was great. I do speaker registration, so I got to meet all these people from all over the country and go, where the fuck are you from? If you looked at this last slot talk you were in here, you'll notice that most of the stuff seems to be going on elsewhere. This is interesting. Is there anyone here from China? China, anyone from China? China, nobody? Oh, you have to stand up. I can't see hands. Is there lots of hacking going on in China? You know, and there's one guy here. We need more. We'd like to see more of you here. India, we outsourced our IT thing there. But hey, guess what? They're still awesome. I'd like to see them. Russia, the big silent bear. Any Russians here? You got to stand up. You in the back, too. I saw your hand. There you go. It's great that you're here. We'd like to see more of you. We'd like to make this an international convention, so we can talk about this. Because I've noticed this thing that goes on sometimes, which is, oh, Chinese hacker, our enemy. Immediately, that's the discussion. And I said, you know what? Hacker nations. We compose an invisible country, all of the world, made up of hackers. So think about that instead of thinking about your national interests first. Brazil. Yeah, my boys. There's a scene going on down there, and it is crazy. I'd like to see more of that, too. We have seen more. And Iran, the new DoD, Luka. Ooh, we're going to go to war with them. Yay, no. Iran. There's a huge population of youth in Iran. They're nerdy, too, apparently. So that means that there's probably some hackers there. I'd rather talk to hackers in Iran now than shoot them tomorrow. Hacker spaces. I'm part of the Hacker Foundation. I'm a director, former president. We've got this hacker space initiative going on. It's called HACK now. Hacker. Hacker. Action space community. Woo, hack. It's all got to be HA something. I'm wondering who the first person is, or the first group that's going to throw this down is, and make it happen. Because this is going to be exciting. This is how we build our relevance and become much, much more permanent. And here's our hotspot, where we think it might happen. My new job, we just merged. We got a bunch of new boys, new people. And I was trying to find a slide for quality. I know we're hackers and we hack shit together. I see a lot of, oh, we'll get to it next week. Oh, this is good enough for now. This is unacceptable. And if you're not doing your very, very best, please get out of my fucking way. OK, hint of lime and chipotle. I like the restaurant, but it's not hint of lime. It's hint of ass. It always tastes awful, and they're putting it in everything. It's like lime Doritos, lime Twinkies. It's just gross. And Chipotle, give it up. If any of you work in the restaurant industry, you're securing some like Arby's server or something. You know, you can influence this stuff from your powerful positions. Oh, fucking make. Is Brie here? Brie Pettis? I told him to be here. OK. Yay. OK, Brie. I saw Brie Schmuckan, and I said, Brie, you're wonderful. The first time I saw you, I wanted to punch you out. And the reason I hate make and love make at the same time is that it took all the most fun stuff that wasn't related to my job and called it make instead of hack and made it totally awesome. And they're making a crap load of money at it, and they're stealing all our awesome hacker thunder and mass marketing it and making themselves rich and getting 25,000 people to come to their very first convention, OK? Let's look at our paper of record. Let's talk about owning entire kingdom again. Let's talk about owning seers again. Let's talk about taking every single article written by everyone that can't spell or speak, and it is their given language, and publishing it. Is there anyone here who works with 2600? Is there anyone here that has ever published for 2600? OK, I have published for 2600. Don't find the article. Don't look it up. The point being, they can do a better job, and we should help make them do a better job. If you don't like the way 2600 is written, you don't like the quality articles. Write quality articles to them. They will publish them. They won't even tell you they're going to publish them. But suddenly, you're really, really good paper that you have on whatever is now in every borders in America. Please help them, because they can't help themselves. OK, then and now. More video, let's see if I can do this. Whoop. Have a good one. Yo, I'm blowing up. It's Kate, Grand Central. Let's hit it. Oh, yeah. Hacking the fucking Gibson, the prodigy, yeah. You've all seen this, you know what I'm talking about, you have it in your home collection, you have it on your iPhone. It's your favorite movie, I'm sure. I'm doing the world a favor. I'm a fucking hacker. Is the country willing to pay for it? FAA just issued a critical alert. The entire network went down. Transportation system is crashing, and they just hit the entire financial sector. You have no idea who you're dealing with. Oh my god, FUD. FUD and loathing, fire sale. Oh, shit. OK, those movies were made fairly far apart, right? Hackers play central roles in those films. You know what? That's how far we've come in 10 years. Hollywood's infiltrated us, but we haven't infiltrated them. I don't think that's fair. Sure, we're taking all their movies and watching them, but we've got to do something to deal with this little problem. Any of you work in LA? Any of you work in California because I was there, and everyone wanted to sell me a script? OK, you've got to do something about this. Really, really. Because I want to see a hacker movie that portrays us as proactive, intelligent, ethical, as opposed to reluctant heroes who are misunderstood teenagers with too much power. Because I'm sorry. I'm definitely not a teenager anymore. And I'm definitely, well, actually, I'm probably still misunderstood. Bruce. So Bruce gave me a beer at Shmukan. And we were talking about stuff. And he says, we've got to get our edge back. We've got to get dangerous again. And I said, woo-hoo. And what he was talking about was, back in the day, we all cut on each other. The Laud-Mod Wars gangs of cyberspace. Scary. FBI was following us around because we could whistle nuclear launch codes into pay phones. You laugh, but they thought it was true. At least they were scared. Now they're here. Not that I don't have Jim Christie's challenge going in my pocket. Love you, Jim. Don't arrest me after the show. Point being that we all know we got some box out there that's totally open. He told me about one when he was telling me the speech. It should be owned. It hasn't been. I'm getting back to the quality thing there. You've got to be hard. And if you've got a box out there that should be owned, you know it should be owned. You're not doing your job. And you're not daring anyone but yourself. So keep it edged. Talk to Bruce about this. I can't really articulate his crazy-ass message. He's a hippie. Hackers equal criminal bad guy villain. That's how the reporters see it. That's apparently how it is. This is our word. African-Americans took back the N word. They control it. I can't say it. We should own this word. This is our word. This is a hacker convention. Press uses the word hacker for everything that involves a criminal and a computer. Guy hacks into NORAD. Guy hacks into whatever. He's a hacker. No, he's not. He's a cracker. Don't give me any stuff about that. I was really tempted. I know. The point being that every time this word is misused in your office, at your home, you're reinforcing a bad image. We need to reverse this to anything other than this. Not a criminal. Not a bad guy. Not a villain. And so I don't know how we're going to do this, but we've got to do something about it. I do talk fast. OK. What does it all mean? This is the big creeper, Awaker. When did it all come? That's one of the things I think about. When does it all about corporate infosack? How can I make this pay my bills? Man, my work is not my life. This guy, crazy handyman, made 100 mile per hour car. Added two Vespas in Maine, learned to weld. Overcame engineering problems. Ford couldn't figure out. It's impossible to make 100 mile per hour car, or 100 mile per hour gallon car, whatever. You know, there's other stuff out there that we should be fucking around with, and that's about it. Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. So we actually caught the NSA red-handed reading our email. Who here is encrypting everything they send that's important? The rest of you, tisk, tisk. They may have been doing it, they are doing it. We have the tools, we have the rights, please use them. So now I'm going to throw this out. Now it's open mic time, because I know stuff keeps you up at night, you wouldn't have come here if it didn't. And I know there are some people in this audience who I've already planted to make sure that something keeps them up at night, and hopefully they're actually here. So, anybody want to take the mic and talk about what keeps them up at night? Bruce, you're not a plant, but I was hoping you'd talk about your cutting thing. Oh, yeah, oh, fuck, I'm missing a slide. So, I'm a director of the Hacker Foundation. We're doing some big stuff. One of the big things is hackers on a plane. Hackers on a plane is really fucking hard. Not just a little hard, but like a lot hard, because you know what, 38 people flying to Europe, charter aircraft included, isn't cheap, and it involves things like taxes. European taxes, I'm not a European. I do not understand this VAT stuff. It's value added tax, what the fuck? That's dumb. So, we need your support, we need your money, and one of the things that I've noticed this weekend is that we all know what the EFF does, and the EFF isn't us. Remember, they made the famous statement, we do not offend hackers. Oh, well. Anyway, the point being that it would be very kind of you to donate to us, and people ask me what the Hacker Foundation does. That's what you want it to do. It's run by you, it's mostly managed by DEF CON staff, or people that work around DEF CON. So, if you want to do a project, come talk to Nick, and he'll hook you up, because Nick knows all about that kind of stuff. Anybody else got anything they wanna talk about? Keep them up at night, before you all leave. Okay, see ya. Oh, and you can crucify me in the Q and A room.