 I want to talk about rigid realities you see staff in the face of the problems that we all face in the workplace staff can end up becoming malleable and flexible but maybe in the wrong ways they start too early they're finished too late they take on too much they do stuff that's out of their area because it needs doing how can we encourage staff not to be malleable in the wrong ways I think it's about again recognizing diversity in terms of our work preferences and our personality styles as well so we talk about this amongst us you know I tend to be an on or off person whereas Peter's 24-7 the brains going thinking so for some people if they're enjoying what they do then long hours is is not a problem you know because they that's what they throw themselves into for other people work where it is just a small part of their life and so it has its place amongst other things that are important to them in their life as well so I think respecting that diversity that everybody's different and again knowing your people figuring out what works for you how do you monitor yourself and know when all right I've probably bitten off a bit more than I can chew here what am I going to do how do I pull it back who do I need to speak to do I just chew faster for now and mental don't do that next time learn to say no again it's not one size fits all yeah okay what can we do what should we do if we become aware of a team member who is suffering talk to them yeah yeah raise it with them ask ask that question are we okay not are you okay but are we okay is is you want to find out if if and you can tell them have I done something that has upset you or or have I done something annoyingly obviously that has you know caused some problems for you and most cases you will find out that person will come back no no no he's fine he's got nothing to do with you and it's it's like a weight has lifted off them because they know that you're onto something it's and you can continue you can say look the reason why I ask is because you normally are really chatting meetings and and you know the last week I haven't heard you you've been in the corner very quiet and we I feel that we're missing out on your wisdom that you contribute to the team so to be very specific as to what you have seen or what you have heard directly from and what if it's not I'm sorry what if it's not a broken relationship but it's just an observation yes somebody's situation how do you approach it with them what if they're not receiving that yeah look they may not want to talk about it yeah and so do you go to the manager I always think it's best to respect that person's privacy you know if they don't want to talk about it that's fine and they have every right to keep it to themselves but more often than not people will share a little bit of something but even if they don't just the fact that you've raised it that you've asked that you've shown that you notice them that you care that in itself can make a huge difference for the person that could be the thing that spurs them to say all right I'm gonna go and get some external help with this or it's enough to know that there are people around me who do care and I don't want to tell them all the nitty gritty details of what's going on for me but at least I know they're there this could be also a good time to tell them look and remind them what you find special about them because if a person is suffering I can guarantee a hundred percent of the time there's a very bad self-talk happening and somebody coming along and say you know what we appreciate you the way that you bring the warmth that you bring into the team or whatever it is and the expertise on this and that be very specific on it can be very healing for that person it can it can interrupt their their pattern their process in a very positive way