 J-E-L-L-O! The Jell-O program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Bill Harris, Kenny Baker, and yours truly, Don Wilson. The orchestra opens the program with... If you have any football fans in the family, you know that Saturday afternoon means a rousing game, and Saturday night means a rousing big appetite. Well, here's one swell way to celebrate the victory. Serve a grand dinner and top it off with a grand dessert, Jell-O. Why, everybody likes Jell-O. For that delicious extra-rich fruit flavor is so tempting and good you just can't resist it. All six Jell-O flavors are chuck full of this extra-rich fruit taste. Strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon, and lime. And all six are bright and gay with color to fit the autumn football season. So no matter which flavor of Jell-O you choose, you're sure of a success. A dessert that's delightful to look at, delicious to eat. But be sure to get genuine Jell-O when you buy and don't accept any substitutes. Look for the big red letters on the box. They spell Jell-O, and Jell-O spells a treat. Alpha to Omega played by Phil Harris in his orchestra. And now, ladies and gentlemen, for the first time from the new NBC building in Hollywood with its new studios, its new facilities, and its new equipment, we bring you that old footh, Jack Benny. Hello again, this is Jack Benny talking, and Don, I may be an old footh, but in these luxurious surroundings, I feel ten years younger. What a place this is, have you ever seen such a gorgeous building? No, I haven't, Jack, it certainly is magnificent. Magnificent? Well, Don, I tell you, this building makes that new filling station across the street look like a nickel. Ah, you're right, Jack, this place is absolutely the quintessence and penultimate of architectural symmetry. What was that, Don? I said this place is the nuts. Oh, oh! Well, you didn't have to make a fool out of me to do it. But you're right, Don, it is the nuts. Did you notice all that beautiful woodwork in the front lobby? Did I? Say, that's what I call ritzy. Ritzy? Why, I saw three termites working on it, and they were in evening clothes. No kidding. Oh, you know, Jack, I was just thinking, what a contrast this is to the old studio. It certainly is, Don, the chandeliers are so luxurious, and the drapes are so costly. Yes, sir, and the chairs for the audience are so soft and comfortable. Well, when it comes to those chairs, Don, I think they're a little too comfortable. There's a man sitting in the third row that's got a date with a dream. I don't mind people sleeping through our program, but that guy's wearing a nightgown. I'll take care of that. Pardon me, madam, would you mind shaking your husband? Oh, no, he'll fall apart. Oh, a wiggle fill starts his next number, will he jump? Oh, hello, Phil. Hiya, Jack. Some swell joint, ain't it? Joint. Phil, you never work in a place as swanky as this in your life. Why, this building has improved the whole neighborhood. It sure has. You bet it has. When I walked in here tonight, a panhandler stopped me and gave me 50 cents. Well, I'm glad they're finally declaring dividends. And, Phil, I want to congratulate you on the appearance of your orchestra. They're so neat, and they're even wearing shoes tonight. How'd you get them to do it? I told them it was a publicity stunt. Oh. Well, they look very nice, but I wish you tell your guitar player that the socks go inside the shoes, unless he's trying to sneak up on someone. Anyway, I'm glad the boys did dress up for this occasion, Phil, because these surroundings are simply divine. Come in. Hello, Mary. Hello, Jack. Welcome to our new home. Did you ever in your life see a place so modern and in the latest style? I'll say it's the latest style. You know that darn man that stands at the front entrance? Yeah. Well, he's wearing his hair up. There you are. And you know, Mary, as I was saying to Don just a few minutes ago, I said Don, this building is absolutely the quintessence and penultimate of architectural symmetry. Well, Don was right. Oh, oh. Oh, did you say that, Don? I knew it was one of us, I didn't know. But Jack, I can't understand one thing. What's that, Mary? Why did they open this building so soon? Gee, the elevators aren't even working yet. Well, they must be working. I saw an elevator boy downstairs. What was he for? Well, you press his nose and he takes your piggy back. Oh, well, that's silly. It's fun, too. Yeah. But then it takes time to finish a building like this, where the cement floor and the lobby isn't even dry yet. The man? Yeah. I thought that rug was kind of wet. Well, there was no excuse for that, Mary. There was no reason walking through fresh cement. There was a sign right in front of it. Yeah, that's what I tripped over. Oh. Well, Mary, let me ask you something. If you walk through a corridor of wet cement, how come you haven't got any of it on your shoes or your stockings? I don't know. I don't write this junk. Now you kill the whole illusion. Well, anyway, now that we're all here, that is all but Kenny. He probably went to the old building. How about having a good snappy band number filled, you know, with a lot of stuff. Anyway, folks, follow me, everybody. This is Studio B. A bunch of sightseers right in the middle of a program. Now, folks, let me call your attention to this beautiful auditorium. Hey, buddy, we're in the middle of a broadcast. Quiet, please. This room has a seating capacity of 325. And you will note how the chair is tilt back to allow for shaving. Hey, buddy. Now, are there any questions, please? Yes. Who was that lady I seen you with last night? Why didn't she a Lulu? Any other questions, please? Look, buddy, please. Now, you all follow me, folks, we'll proceed to Studio C. This way, please. Hey, Mamie, there's Jack Benny. Gee, am I disillusioned? You know, folks, a woman that said that is as homely as a mud fence. Yeah, then why did you wink at me? I deny that. It's a fine time to bring visitors through a studio. Oh, well, have you got a good snappy number ready, Phil? Yeah, but you won't like it. Well, play it anyway. Hmm, disillusioned. She's no Miss Pasadena herself. That was the yam played by Phil Harris and his Vine Street 12. And, Phil, I must say you got off to a swell start in our new studio. You kind of liked it, huh? Yes, I did. But say, Phil, who's that Chinaman sitting there in your brass section? Is he a new member in your band? No, he's waiting for our laundry. Oh, your laundry? I didn't know you ever had any. How do you like that, Mary? Phil has to have his laundry man up at the program. Isn't that awful? Well, at least he doesn't do his own, like guess who? Now, wait a minute, Mary. If you're referring to me, you've never seen me do my own laundry, so don't start that. Well, what about last Monday morning when I was over to your house? Well, what about it? Why were you bending over that wash tub? Who, me? Yes, you. I could have been bobbing for apples, you know. I was practicing for Halloween. And now, folks, I would like to... Say, Jack, why don't you ever admit anything when you're caught? Listen, Phil, it so happens that there were apples in that wash tub. Apples? Yes. Well, they were under a lot of BVDs. And now, folks, I'll sue you someday, Mary. And now, folks, we are going to... I bet you look cute with a mouthful of clothes pins. All right, Phil, let's drop it. And now, folks, going from wash day to tonight's program, we are going to present one of the greatest plays that we have ever attempted. Our version of Walter Wanger's famous screen success, the... Right this way, folks. Follow me, everybody. This is Studio B. I'm getting to be awful. Gosh. It's getting to be awful, I said. This room can seat 325 people, or 650 if they know each other well enough. Well, of all the... Now, are there any questions, please? A young man. Is that gentleman standing over there, Don Wilson? Yes, madam. Won't you say something, Mr. Wilson? Gladly, who? Ladies and gentlemen, I bid all of you welcome to our new NBC studio. I think you will agree that it is the eighth wonder of the world. Thank you. Can you name the other seven, Mr. Wilson? Yes. They're strawberry, raspberry, cherry, the hanging gardens of Babylon, orange, lemon, and lime. Don, please. That was Don Wilson, folks. He has six flavors, four chins, and flat feet. Yes, and if you press his nose, he'll say jello. Things are certainly mixed up tonight. Now, right this way, folks. Follow me and please stay in line. Hey, where are we going now? Kenny, what are you doing with that sightseeing? Oh, hello, Jack. I'll be back in a little while. You're going to stay right here. Oh, darn it. All right, folks. This way, please. Tough luck, Kenny. Now, Kenny, what's the idea of walking all around this building with a bunch of sights here? Well, I tried it by myself, and I couldn't get out of the basement. The basement? What are you doing in the basement? I think I fell through a ventilator. Oh, when you find out, let me know. Okay. See you later, Jack. Kenny, you've got to stay right here and sing your song. Well, I want to see the building. But you can't sing while you're roaming all around the studio. What are you, an artist or a tourist? I'm a strolling troubadour, and shut up. What? What did you say? Why, Kenny. Gosh, was that me? Kenny, I'm really amazed. You, of all people. Well, let's forget it. Now, ladies and gentlemen, as I've been trying to announce all evening, tonight, we are going to present our version. Gee, I'm sorry, Jack. Never mind, Kenny. Our version of Walter Wanger's current film success, that emotional drama of blazing passion, love and jealousy, Algiers. This picture starred Charles Boyer and Hedy Lamar. Now, I will play the part of Pepe Lamoco, that notorious Parisian jewel thief, as portrayed on the screen by Mr. Boyer. And Mary Livingston will play the part of Ines, my sweetheart. Jack, are you really going to try and follow Charles Boyer in this part? Why, certainly. You don't think I lived in the French Quarter of Waukegan for nothing. I did try very hard, folks, to get Miss Hedy Lamar for our play tonight, to enact her original role. But unfortunately, she happens to be in Honolulu. Why, Jack, I saw her this afternoon at the Brown Derby. Hedy Lamar? You saw Hedy? Yes, Hedy and Fede. She was all there. Well, anyway, we couldn't get Hedy to play this part, but we did get a young lady who goes to the same beauty parlor that Miss Lamar does. In fact, she works there. Now, this drama will go on immediately after the next number. Go ahead with your song, Kenny. Gee, Jack, I'm sorry I was rude before and hurt your feelings. That's all right, Kenny. I'll take it out of your salary. Thanks. I feel much lighter now. All right, sing. Say, Jack. Yes, Mary. That beauty operator just called up said she wouldn't be able to make the program. She can? No, and she said to forget about the Trocadero, too. Oh, darn it. And I've been rehearsing the Lambeth Walk all afternoon. Well, we've got to get somebody to play Hedy's part. Give me that phone, Mary. Sing, Kenny. Hello? Hello, operator. Yes. Here we are, out of cigarettes Holding hands and yawning Look how late it gets To sleepy people By dawn's early light And too much in love to say goodnight I guess we haven't got a sense of responsibility Our young romance is so intense We're close to invisibility Hands and yawning Look how late it gets By dawn's early light And too much in love to say goodnight Our cozy chair Picking on a wishbone From the frigid air And to say And too much in love to break away Do you remember Father didn't love Remember Just about the same Poggy little fella Good night, dear. Two sleepy people sung by Kenny Baker. Hello, ladies and gentlemen. As our play tonight happens to be very long, we will start... God, Jack, I'm awful sorry. I was so fresh before. Can you ever forgive me? Yes, yes, Kenny. I forgive you. I've forgotten the whole thing. I'll bet you're lying. I'll bet you're right. And now, ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, we bring you our version of Walter Wayne's dramatic spectacle, Al Gears. Al Gears, a gay modern city Teaming with commerce from all the seven seas While above the city, grim, silent, mysterious By the tangled buildings And twisted streets of the native quarter Known as the Casbah. The scene is the hideout of the notorious jewel thief, Pepe Lamoco. As the curtain rises, we find two members of his gang, three-fingered Harris and Bubbles Baker. They are waiting for their leader's return. Hurting. Music. Hey, three-finger. What is it, Bubbles? I'm worried about Pepe. He said he'd be here at seven o'clock, and it's five-thirty already. You still got an hour and a half. What are you starting to worry now for? Well, it takes me a little time to get rolling. Oh. If Pepe's out with that girl he met yesterday, I'll fill him so full of holes he'll sound like a pipe organ in the wind. Don't be jealous, honey. As Pepe loves you, he's crazy about you. Yeah. I work and I slave. And what do I get? A broken-down boy, eh? See you later, fella. Gee, she's plenty burnt up, ain't she? Yeah. What does she see in that old book? Here comes Pepe now. Hmm. Hello, Pepe. Hello, three-finger. Hello, Mr. Lamoco. Oh, it is you, Bubbles. Well, gentlemen, let us get down to business. Gee, I'm sorry. I hollered at you before, Pepe. Oh, forget it. Forget it. Well, gentlemen, I have brought the pearls which we stole last night. Here they are. Oh, boy. But these are not enough, gentlemen. Tomorrow night I am sending you to the Grand Ball at the Beverly Algiers Hotel. The Beverly Algiers? Oh, I know the place right across the street from the Brown Fez. Yes, just a block west of Sheik's Fifth Avenue. There will be beautiful ladies there and even more beautiful jewels. Oh. Oh, remember, three-finger. What is it, Chief? This time, when you bring back the jewels, you will first remove the ladies. Now, here is what you must do. Tomorrow night you will go, both of you. Shh! Maybe the police hide the jewels. Quick! I'll put them in the cookie jar. The cookie jar? Good. They will never suspect. Come in. Ah, it is you, Inspector Wilson. Good evening, Pepe, your bad boy. What brings you to the Casbah? Pepe, I've come to tell you that the police are trying to get in touch with you. They're looking for you, Pepe. They want you. Oh, I am in no mood to play a benefit. Why don't you get had the can talk? This is not a benefit, Pepe. There were some jewels stolen last night. Now, where are they? Jewel? What jewel? See down, my friend. Make yourself at home. Will you have a cookie, Inspector? Move out! Leave the room. Gee, I nearly spilled the beans, didn't I? Hmm. Beans in a cookie jar? He makes jokes. Someday I laugh till he dies. Have some tea, my friend. I must go, Pepe. But I'm warning you. Stay out of the city. You're wanted in six delicious countries. So be careful. Thank you, Inspector. I will look for the big red noses on the gendarme. Goodbye. Are you scared, boss? Do not worry, three-finger. They will never get Pepe Lamoco. I am master of the Casbah. Ah, it is you. Hello, Ines. Hello, Pepe. That's Pepe. I had yeast for breakfast. But you are trembling, Ines. What is the matter, my little dog? Don't dove me, you two-timing crook. Me, Pepe? If the finance company hadn't taken away my camel, I'd go home to mother. Oh, Ines, do not talk like that. I love you. Oh, you do, eh? Well, what about that other girl? Girl? What other girl? The one I saw you drinking tea with yesterday in the cafe, that Hedy Lamar. You did not see us. I did, too. I was watching you from the kitchen. Oh, so that's how I got that meekie fiend. But do not worry, Ines. It was merely a little tainted date. It was just an afternoon's flotation. It was nothing. Believe me. Well, if I see you with her again, I'll take this done and make Paramot happy. My little cobra, you are so excited. Come here. Close your eyes and kiss, Pepe. How else do you think I can do it? Now listen to me, Ines. Hey, Pepe, Pepe. What is it? You know that beautiful girl you had tea with yesterday? You mean Hedy Lamar? Yes. She has come to the cash bar. She wants to see you. Oh, then she did come back like she promised. My Hedy. Aha. I knew you were lying to me, you dog, you puppy. I'm Pepe. You're in love with that other day. But you'll never live to see her again, Pepe, because I'm going to kill you. Ines, you are insane. Put down that gun. I won't, I won't. Put it down, I say. Right this way, folks. Follow me, everybody. This is Studio B. That fellow I gave. This room has a seating capacity of 325 left since I was here last. Hey, Chief, Chief. Look at that dave over there with those big diamonds. Leave her alone. She is a tourist. Quiet, please. Now, folks, you will notice the beautiful decorations on the wall, the new hat on Ms. Livingston, and the lousy acting. Hmm. Now, are there any questions, please? Yes. How does this building differ from Radio City in New York? Well, in the first place, this one is much smaller. I know that. But has this one got the same kind of xenophobicity that you have in the Morse's pit? Or is it just the xenophobicity that you have on the Morse's subreddit? Oh, yes, but ours is the more advanced type. Pepe, I am going to kill you. Wait a minute. Any other questions, please? Any other questions, please? Just one more. Now, that switchboard over there. Is that a band well-conflict blossom? Or is it a Belgian dindididid? I beg your pardon? I said, is that a Belgian dindididid? I still don't get it. He said, is it a Belgian dindididid? No, it isn't. All right, folks, follow me to Studio C. Oh, nothing. Kenny, come back here. Oh, shucks. All right, diners. Oh, you're in love with Adelaide, eh? But you'll never live to see her again, Pepe. Because I'm going to kill you. Inez, put down that gun. You don't know what you are doing. I don't, Adelaide. You are crazy, Inez. Give me that gun. Hey, Chief. Chief. Here comes Hedy Lamar now. Wait, Inez. I will prove my love for you and send her away. Come in. Hedy. Hedy, my darling. Hiya, Pepe. Hedy, you kept your promise and came back to me. Oh, darling, come into my eye. Kiss me, Pepe. Kiss me. My sweet darling, I forgot to put my lipstick on. Oh, so this is the day you threw me over for, eh? Yeah, ain't I hot stuff? Inez. Well, say goodbye to her, Pepe, because you'll never live to see her again. Oh, Inez. Inez, what did you do to me? Oh, Pepe, I'm so sorry I shot you. Don't worry, Inez. It was nothing. Everything is getting black. I feel myself gone. Goodbye, Inez. Goodbye, Pepe. And you. Goodbye, Hedy. So long back! Oh, play field. If you want something swell to eat that's quick and easy and inexpensive, we have the answer. It's the new Jello vanilla pudding, a rich, delicious, creamy, smooth dessert that's a grandest discovery in years. Jello vanilla pudding has a wonderful flavor, tempting and delicate, for it's made from real vanilla, no imitation flavoring, and that's why it tastes so good. It's the easiest can be to make, and with only a few minutes cooking. Simple directions are in every package, and Jello vanilla pudding is just one of three new Jello puddings. There's butterscotch pudding, mellow and smooth and tempting with that real old-fashioned butterscotch flavor. And there's Jello chocolate pudding, an all-time favorite made a new and better way. All three Jello puddings have a beautifully creamy texture, a rich full flavor, and an old-fashioned homemade goodness. So try these swell new pudding desserts. The best way to get acquainted is to buy three packages at a time. Jello vanilla, butterscotch, and chocolate pudding. Ask your grocer for them tomorrow. This is the last number of the fourth program in the new Jello series, and we'll be with you again next Sunday night at the same time. Meanwhile, I hope you all enjoyed our version of Algiers. All right, Mary, let's go. Just a minute. Come in. Mr. Benny? Yes. I'm mad at you. Why did you use me in your play tonight? Why? Who are you? Mr. Ball Hedy Lamar. Goodbye. Mmm. Sunday, I will teal him. Good night, Paul. J.T. Southwell Hall. Tonight's presentation of Algiers was made possible through the cooperation of Walter Ranger and the author, Detective Ashleby. The tune from Alpha to Omega is from You Never Know and Two Sleepy People from Thanks for the Memory. Kenny Baker appears on the Jello program through courtesy of Mervin and Y Productions. This is an actual broadcasting company.