 Books from publishers and I received them and then some of the time, well a lot of the time, I struggle to read them. My disappointment is immeasurable. Because I think the pressure of like it's an arc so I need to read it quickly, I should read that straight away. Means I then like don't read it. So I have a lot of arcs from, well I have a lot from this year which I need to read, but I have a lot from last year which I still haven't read. So in this video we're gonna be reading some of the oldest arcs that I still own and I haven't got to. But before we actually get into the vlog I want to say such a big thank you to our sponsor for this video which is Book of the Month! So you guys know how much I love Book of the Month, it's a super popular online book service for readers. Their mission is promote new and emerging authors and like get you to read the best books that are coming out that month. Every month their team scours the books that are coming out recently and picks five to seven books that are like the most exciting, they're gonna be super popular or they're from new and emerging authors and they're giving them that spotlight and it takes the pressure for you out of trying to find new releases because they give you the selection and you can pick them and it like takes that kind of like pressure of you know searching all the new releases and figuring out which ones you want and they give you the selection and you can pick what excites you most. Now it's no risk, you can skip any month if nothing interests you that month but they definitely have the best price for new release, hardcore fiction, you can get your first book for only $9.99 using the code made with books, it's currently only for the US, not internationally. I just love Book of the Month, I think they constantly come out with the books that somehow end up being some of the biggest of the year but you could never have predicted that before they became Book of the Month selections, I think they do so much great things for new and emerging authors, I absolutely love them and the selection this month was really good, I want to tell you about my two most exciting ones. We have Like a Sister which is where this reality TV star is found dead and the police determine that it's an overdose but her sister does not believe that, she believes something more sinister has happened and so it's kind of like a thriller with her trying to uncover what has happened to her sister and then a nonfiction actually which I'm really really excited by is Bitter Sweet by Susan Kane, so this is about how bittersweet how that feeling of sorrow or you know bittersweet moments, the moments that aren't full of joy are actually very very important for us mentally and for our lives, being comfortable with sadness or blue moments, you know moments aren't perfect there's something I'm very interested in so I hadn't heard of this previously, this is the Beauty Book of Month, I had never heard of this previously, I probably wouldn't have read it if not for Book of the Month but when I heard about it I'm just so interested, I'm really hoping I'm gonna read this soon, so yeah make sure you check out Book of the Month, link down below, use my code, make the books get your first book for only $9.99 and thank you again to Book of the Month for sponsoring this video. This is like my shame, I'm trying to read, I really want to read like all the arcs that I own that I haven't read because I feel so much shame and like disgust and anger at myself, so the oldest arc that I still own that I have not read is The Burden Girls by CJ Tudor, I was so excited for this, I remember I got the arc like the day before it came out so this one I didn't have time to read before it came out but like I've had a year over a year and a half pretty much after to read it which I haven't done. Are you not ashamed of yourself? Are you not in Mara's? And I've read The Chalkman by CJ Tudor, this is a story of this like quaint English town where weird horrible things have been happening for years, there's been a lot of death and we have like new characters moving into the area. It's a weird arc though it's like a paperback but it's like massive choices but anyway I'm very excited and I feel like I'm very ill at the moment so I feel like I'm gonna start off with this and it will be a nice like fast paste thriller that I can read. Then this is the third oldest arc that I still own is The Disassembly of Doreen Gerand by Ryan Collett, a book I have heard virtually nothing about since it came out. I got offers from publishers a lot back in the day that I accepted it if I heard nothing about the book. Now I try to be a lot more selective with the books I do accept but this is about a woman who witnesses a horrific accident, a police officer wants her to tell him about it and she's like nope let me just run away it's like this cat and mouse game between the two. I think it's quite strange but I am very excited to read it and then not one of the oldest I do have quite a few older than this but one of the arcs that I was most excited to receive and like I really really wanted this and I didn't didn't read it is Under the Whispering Door by TJ Klune. So House of the Cerudian Sea was probably I think my like fifth favorite book last year and so I was so excited to read Under the Whispering Door but I think I've got mixed reviews. A lot of people were saying like it's really not as good in the House of the Cerudian Sea which like really can't anything be like it's a high like a hard task to achieve. This is about a man who I think dies and then he's like I haven't lived enough so I think he's given one week before he has to cross over to the other side until he tries to live as much life in seven days. I think it's gonna be a bit heart-breaking and a little bit emotional but I'm still very excited to read it. So those are the three books we're gonna be reading in this vlog. This vlog is pretty much for me to like try and rid myself of some of the guilt and shame that I carry with me everywhere. So yes we're gonna start with The Burning Girls and I'll update you in a little bit of the way through it. Okay if you have watched any of my videos this week you know you've heard me speaking about how ill I am. So we don't need to talk about it again. It doesn't need to be discussed but just let it be known it's meant that I haven't read so it's now Thursday night I want this video up on Sunday. How's that gonna happen? No I'm not alright everything's just stressing me out at the moment. I am halfway through The Burning Girls I'm gonna try and finish it tonight. I am enjoying it so far so basically we're following a vicar who I whenever given the synopsis I've always said he him and his daughter go to this new town in this new church. I was showing my inner sexism there it's a woman. She her name's Jack. So I think it lures you with like the first 30 pages into thinking Jack is a he but Jack is a she. Yeah into this mysterious town um where 500 years ago eight listen people were banned 30 years ago two teenage girls went missing and recently the old vicar hung himself and that's why Jack has been moved well partially there's some kind of like mysterious shit that happened in Nottingham where Jack was before that meant that she had to be moved and I am enjoying it. Now CJTJ always does like that close-knit claustrophobic small English town vibe very very well I feel like she does like towns stuck in the past with a lot of history very well the chalk man was like that as well now here's my predicament halfway in I think I know what's going on right I'm pretty sure I've called a lot of the links between things that are happening it's difficult because if I am correct am I like happy about that or am I like oh it was predictable so I'm disappointed I don't really know I think the more I read I think you are by now you're pretty much supposed to have guessed at something which if it's true I won't be mad like I'll be like okay this is fun this is a fun element I'm pretty sure I know what's happening and who certain people are and what the truth is so yeah I don't think this is going to be a case where if if what I'm predicting is true I'm disappointed I'm like oh it's predictable oh I saw it coming do you know what I mean I think it's the kind of thing where you've been lured into that at least that's what I'm hoping I actually am hoping it's going to turn out to be that there is a lot of secrets both in the town and with Jack there's a lot of different mysteries to unravel there's mysteries happening in the present day with people kind of targeting Jack and like leaving threatening messages and gifts for her and then there's also the mysteries of the past like what happened to the girls that disappeared and stuff like that so yeah I'm actually really enjoying it I feel like the writing's good it's a very fast-paced thriller it's a very easy easy to read book and also I like that it has humor in it Jack's quite a funny dry character and I like that I just think I don't like I don't read funny books I never read humor humor like that as a genre baffles me humor as a book like but I do like it if my books have sometimes a level of funniness to them and I think in thrillers it often works really well if you kind of have a character who's like dryly sarcastic funny in amongst all of the scary shenanigans so I'm actually really enjoying it I think it's like a solid fun easy thriller hey morning there hasn't been any b-roll yet in this vlog let me just apologize for that that is a step too far for me right now building myself up to film these clips is enough it's not having a job working 24-7 for two days on the trot anyway I finished the burning girls and I enjoyed it I'm gonna give it four stars it was like a very solid thriller I'm really glad that I finished it it is so atmospheric CJ Tudor just like has a special touch when it comes to atmosphere the small town but also like the chapel and the small cottage that they live in and just like the atmosphere of it I feel like this book actually verges on a mix of thriller and horror or suspense like there's some moments in this you're like you're gripping your seat here's the thing sometimes you read thrillers nowadays and they're not they're not especially thrilling let's talk about that let's I think we should have that conversation I think we should have that conversation actually if you're calling yourself a thriller thrill me bitch thrill me like you gotta give me something and I really feel like this did now now is there a lot of like there's a lot of elements this plot there's a lot of different mysteries and things going on do I think it's all wrapped up neatly at the end no the resolution is quite long and drawn out but at the same time there's a few aspects I'm like oh did we figure out what that was like did I still don't really understand what was happening there did we get like an explanation are we meant to know I don't know like there's some aspects of it I'm like okay well that made for a thrilling book but have you explained how that was happening not really not really the thing that I said at halfway I called yeah absolutely obvious here the thing if you're gonna do that you have to make it obvious to me that it was supposed to be obvious because it's kind of treated as like a big reveal at the end and I'm like hang on are we just confirming it I feel like we were just confirming it I feel like it wasn't a twist but there wasn't really many twists in this if you're looking for a twisty thriller this isn't what you're looking for if you're looking for a thrilling thriller it is what you're looking for but I will say being so focused on that aspect of the story meant that I kind of missed clues for other things that were happening in the background elsewhere I thought that was really done well I feel like I need to get into CDHU just backlist I know she's written The Other People I'm pretty sure is one but yeah I am definitely interested in reading CDHU just other books because I did really really enjoy this and that's two now solid four stars that I've had from this author her books remind me a lot of like Shari Lupina where like going into them I know I'm probably not going to get a five star because to get a five star for me you have to have a little bit something different these are kind of like your classic thrillers and they do it really well like solid I don't think there's anything wrong with an author who I give four stars to pretty solidly so yeah I would recommend this if you've been intrigued by it at any point I do enjoy it but I do feel like at the ending not everything is tied up a hundred percent but I had a good reading experience now let's get into the dissembly of Doreen Durand I really don't know what to expect with this because you know I think it's only got about 60 reviews ratings on good reads I've actually read some of the reviews because I've been intrigued I think this is going to be a weird book like a hell of a weird book and I think perhaps it hasn't had a big readership because it seems to me they're all saying oh I don't know how to explain this book so I think it's a bit of a difficult story to pitch and to reach its target market but anyway let's go start reading it hopefully I can read this all today I need to read this all today so hopefully I can make some good progress through it and I'll speak to you in a bit so it's like super late at night it's like quite late but I have just reached part one which is pretty much just halfway end of part one I mean don't understand what is going on I don't have a clue I don't have a clue I have no idea what's going on I love it the weirdest one of the weirdest things I've read in a long time because I like weird shit right but weird okay when I read weird shit the thing I need from you is a concept you're a bit low down hang on hike you up a bit um oh it's crooked it's late you can tell the level of unprofessionalism far too much I need a concept right I think of Catherine House I think of dig I think of like you know magic colors realism stuff I read right you need to give me a concept you need to have a vibe like I need to know what we're going for even if I don't understand what is going on I can get a vibe for like the theatrics of it all right this I just I just don't get it I don't get what we're reaching for I don't get like philosophically what we're trying to hit so basically Doreen is this woman she's a young kind of like 20-something woman I think when I heard about it I think she was an old woman because of the name Doreen she is going through somewhat of like a mental break she's going through a depressive episode she's like reached this crossroads in her life and she's like not coping she witnesses essentially two boys from her apartment complex get killed in a hit and run in the car park and she decides not to say anything I mean she doesn't really see anything that the police don't know like they know she saw what kind of car it was that's all she pretty much saw they know that they just don't know any like registration or anything so like she doesn't know anything that's particularly groundbreaking but still she's like I'm not speaking nope and she basically meets this very rich mysterious woman called Violet Cascade and she Violet convinces Doreen to like run away together Doreen when the police just want to ask her a few simple questions and Violet's weird there's something weird going on there these characters that are being built up we're also focusing a lot on one of the police officers these characters that are being built up the author obviously I feel like trying to say something about like human nature or like the world but I don't know what I don't know what I feel like in this second part we're gonna get a bit magical realism me I feel like it's gonna get even stranger but I am just I'm bored I'm really I'm bored I'm so sorry I'm really bored and I don't understand what we're trying to talk about and what we're trying to say like there's something to be gleaned here and I'm not cleaning it it doesn't feel like a book to me I think this has a target market somewhere I don't know who it is it's like if you want weird stuff that gets a bit philosophical about life like when I was reading reviews some people like oh this is the best like genre branding book I've ever read and I'm like what are we all reading I'm listening to the audiobook fast so I'm hoping I can almost finish it tonight although it's quite late but I hope I can make a good dent in it yeah it's it's weird and not in a good way because it's not giving me a bit of a boom it's just giving me like oh I will say though I want to like this because it says in the author bio he runs a popular youtube channel devoted to knitting oh my god link me I want to I want to like your book now because I want to watch your youtube video anyway let's let's go read some more I'll check in with you once we're finished in the morning no absolutely not absolutely not no this is not for me no no no I hate it I well I'm gonna give it two stars I'm giving it two stars by the way I've given out so many two stars so far this year truly truly horrific anyway because there were elements of the ending that were interesting that was the only moment there was like one scene in the ending that was like okay like okay but that was it I don't understand how a book can be so strange and yet so boring and here's the thing none of you will understand what I'm talking about because none of you will have read this but like no not only is the whole Doreen like running away from the police thing strange but the whole like basically the whole thing of this policeman chasing after him like becoming obsessed over her is weird as well and like I I for that to make any kind of sense to me we're saying something about human nature about we're making some commentary here but I don't understand what that is I don't understand what that is it was just so boring I think this would have worked better as a short story there was an elements of it like magical realism the elements within the second half that were interesting but I genuinely don't understand how I read 270 pages because I don't I didn't like nothing it was bad I didn't enjoy it I was so bored thank god I had the audiobook to like push me through it I'm glad I read it because now I know do you know what I mean now I know I was right to be hesitant for many months at this point about reading this book I should have probably just donated this arc to someone else the past couple months I haven't been super interested in reading it but I've been like forcing myself to like Megan you signed up for this and like you should do it give it a go trust your intuition Megan from now on I'm trusting my intuition I feel like today the future starts so it's a good day I understand because like weird books they always at least give me something this gave me nothing go go sis give us nothing give us nothing anyway I am now gonna start under the whisper I'm like putting my hand on the wall I'm gonna start under the whispering door by TJ Klune but I'm going out for dinner now but I need to read this book fast so hopefully it will lend itself to that but yeah I'll speak to you in a bit I just tried to film downstairs but then my mum woke up so I have to come upstairs but downstairs I looked a lot healthier than I do right now this lighting is making me look very dead downstairs I looked quite like oh morning glow whatever up here no so I'm quite upset about that anyway I am halfway through under the whispering door by TJ Klune I woke up super early today we didn't get to bed last night we were out last night didn't get to bed until like 1 a.m. I had to wake up really early to try and finish this book for this vlog so I'm tired but anyway I am really really enjoying this so basically we're following this guy called Wallace who lived a very like you know work is my life hustle culture kind of life and he dies and then he goes to this tea shop where there's people there to kind of it's supposed to be the place you go before you like fully pass on where you kind of come to terms with the fact that you have died and I just love being back with TJ Klune's writing like there's something about his writing that's just like a hug like it's so comforting to read it's so enjoyable to read and I think this is a really like interesting and important topic to like write about and touch upon the idea of death and of mourning those we lose and eventually coming to terms with our own death I think is something very interesting to explore through fiction and yeah I'm really enjoying it I really like the characters I love their interactions with one another it's a bit of a difficult book to like talk about because it's like TJ Klune's writing is just like gorgeous but like what else do I say I don't know it's like it's very it's like a hot chocolate of a book because you know what I mean you're perfect you're beautiful you look like Linda and then Jelisa you're a model I really am enjoying like the character dynamics I think there's not many characters in this there's like four main characters that we have in the tea shop and I think all of them bring something different to the table I feel like they're like perfectly fit against one another do you know what I mean they all bring different dynamics and something I love about TJ Klune's books there's scenes that like aren't integral to the plot but do so much like character building which I think sometimes books can shy away from sometimes books are like plot plot plot plot plot plot plot plot try to move the story along and I think TJ Klune's books aren't afraid to like pause hit pause and take a little bit longer to spend with the characters and learning about them and I'm just really enjoying it it's a really fun read I'm I'm so glad I'm finally reading it I don't think it's going to be a five star though I don't quite get that feeling maybe like a 4.5 maybe a 4 I think it's going to be something in that vicinity so I'm going to just go finish it now I'm I'll go put makeup on in the seconds into the audiobook whilst I do that but I'm just basically going to finish this book for the rest of this morning not to cry because I haven't taken the thumbs up um but five stars this is perhaps like a 4.5 but the ending take the thumb now it's not allowed we're not allowing it to happen you know oh my my neighbours are playing music by the way I apologise if you can hear them much I want to share but like the idea of death has always been very scary to me and um in some ways pretty foreign um and I feel like I've just felt it even more this year and um you know I think if you if you have oh oh no I actually can't cry no absolutely not absolutely not um I think if you have that fear of you know your loved ones or whatever people in your life or just a fear of that unknown um I think this is such a beautiful book I'm actually crying um I think this is such a beautiful book to um examine that and it and it gives such a beautiful um it gives such a beautiful um outlook and and story around us passing and what comes next and so much hope around it and um I think this is just a really helpful book for me to read and um I just loved it I love TJ Queen's writing but more than that in this book there is just such a beautiful message and and hope and you can tell it's such a personal book and I just love you know the idea of what comes next that this book gives and I think it was absolutely gorgeous so I loved it I loved the characters I loved the found family in this book do I think oh I don't know I don't objectively I don't think the whole story is necessarily as good as house and serenity for me but they're towards the end just like it enough for me and I feel like um this could be a book that I come back to at many points in my life yeah I just I loved it I don't think I could say much more without crying but um I loved it I loved it and I think it was beautiful and yeah I would say that I've never read a fiction book before then really deals with death in this way and that fear of death like that innate fear of it um and I really appreciated what it was saying essentially so yeah uh that's the end of this video listen I'm really glad that I read some of these books I feel like especially this I'm glad I didn't read it when I was faced to I'm glad I read it now um but you know I'm glad I read The Burning Girls just some of the drawings around listen I just should have unhauled that a long time ago but I hope you enjoyed this video I I feel a great relief of guilt just falling off of me because I no longer feel the guilt of not reading these books um but yeah I hope you enjoyed this video let me know down below which of these you would most like to read and also comment if you got to end what emoji should we do or comment like a tea emoji because this is the tea shop in this book and tea plays a big role in this so comment a cup of tea seen as a cup of tea emoji there must be comment that down below if you got into the end thank you guys so much for watching I love you so so much and I will see you very soon in another video bye