 Now thanks for saying that according to Deloitte's Women at Work report, women now make up almost half that's 43% of global workforce and 10-tilt outperform men when it comes to some key performance indicators such as work-life balance and job satisfaction. And this is why we're seeing more and more women take on leadership roles as well as reinvent the ways they handle projects especially when they have to work from home or any other remote location. Now fairness aside, empowering women for top performance is an investment in the brighter future for everyone. So women are empowered, women that are empowered, they become agents of advancement in the society, economic growth and constructive change agents as well. We unlock a wealth of talent that drives towards a more just and affluent society by recognizing their potential, encouraging their confidence and giving them fair chances. So today we're asking how can we empower our women to become peak performers, right? Just do great at every level, every cater and every, what's it called, whatever department or whatever it is that they find themselves, right? So please let's hear what you have to say, remember you can join the conversations and there's an SMS or what's up to 08183-84663 and also treat others at WESU Africa 1 with the hashtag WESHELL. So tell me, what would help you become the best at your job, be the top accountant in your field? What would help you? What would support look like for you? First, the people that are around me, in their supportive, morally believing in what I'm doing, encouraging, could also be financial, especially when you want to afford that, have the PhD and all of that. Yeah, that will definitely go along with, but it's also that support from the home system or maybe my partner, you know, giving me that go, go on, go on. Because sometimes those are the things that if you're doing it alone and pushing yourself, sometimes you might be down and if you don't have those sort of support, you get discouraged and you just want to let go. So yeah. Mary, what would support look like for you? I think I always have to be home every time. But I don't know how to explain it, but maybe more on emotional management, like we spoke about like homeowner imbalance. The truth is some people do not know how to manage it when it comes, you know, and there's outburst of emotions and you're tagged in moody person or something, but you know, sometimes you might just have, it might be homeowner, which that you're experiencing. Second of all would be, I think more sensitization to men in terms of, because I'm in sales and I think men can be really nasty and it makes the experience, you know, horrific, you know, you wouldn't want to know what your top prestigious, you know, people or HNAs are, you know, how they act, you know, it's very disappointing, you know, because it's not even the young ones, you know, it's the old ones. So I don't know what can be done in terms of, because a lot of females who are into sales and are on the field out there experience all sorts, you know, and I think it's a very interesting, very interesting experience. Very, very interesting. Wow. Yeah. Let me bring in our guest. Abuela Salami is a world-class performance strategist committed to raising world-class leaders and improving the productive capacity and brand perception of organizations and governments. Now he's an alumnus of Harvard University, Lagos Business School, an American government international visitor leadership program. Now he is committed to workforce productivity for youth and women empowerment as well as leadership development led, led him rather into publish books, audio, visual content, as well as designing and implementing capacity and development programs towards achieving relevant sustainable development goals. Now other awards include Africa Most Influential Coaching Leadership Leaders by the Duel of Africa Leadership Award and World HRD Congress and Global Coaching Champions 2021 by World Coaching Congress. And he's a friend of the house, right? And he's joined us live in studio. He's many things. Because I saw you nodding. Thank you so much, Abuela. Dr. Abuela Chams. Let me add the doctor, please, with respect. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Abuela Salami. Good name. It's great to be here. Honestly. And I'm loving the set. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. It's been a while, but hey, we're happy to have you. I mean, I saw you nodding your head when Mary was talking about, what's it called, emotional balance. And I know that you are the king of emotional intelligence, right? You know, every time you always talk about it. But really, today we want to discuss something really powerful because I believe that, like the research rightly said, women are not just, how do I put it? So even in the means of all our emotions, there lies in our power. If you empower one woman, literally, she can change a whole community. Just feeling that power within her, she can make a lot of things happen for the society and make it a lot better, right? I mean, you are someone that advocates, you know, that people perform at their peak when it comes to productivity and all of that. So what would that mean if you look at it based on your years of experience and all of that, working with different organizations and government and all of that? If we say we truly want to empower women to become a peak performer, what would that mean? What would, what would be your indicators for that? Okay, great, great question. And once again, thank you for having me this evening. And I'm loving all I'm hearing from the ladies before I came into the studio, everyone while in the studio. So what would it mean to empower a woman to be a peak performer? I think the beginning of it is for us to know that a peak performing woman is a catalyst for social economic development. The beginning of that thought will now let us to start to ask questions that if this is the goal we want to achieve, you know, to grow our economy, to take the community out of poverty, to reduce crime rates, right? That's the goal. So one of the things we need to do to engage our women, the place of supporters and credit is really great, you know, whether it's from the family, you know, from the partner, from colleagues, you know, organizations themselves, that place is really great. And in addition to that, women also, to some extent, need to start to also take personal responsibility for their growth. The conversation about the sustainable development goal, goal five, about gender equality, that inclusion conversation has a, if we really want to achieve that, there are two basic things that we should do. One is help women where they can't help themselves, you know, run, have an advocacy program for women, put some projects in place to help women where they can't help themselves. And the other part is empower women, you know, to help themselves. It's the place of coaching, the place of training, the place of understanding that yes, I have a potential, but my potential is to be great. My potential is to be a super, super chartered accountant, you know, is to be a super salesperson, you know, for example, is to be the number one lawyer in the country. So while my technical skills would require, where I need to be proficient technically, I also need to know that there are other skills beyond the technical skills. So skills. Yes, that I need to acquire. And for me, it begins with the individual, you know, in my work with women, I have observed some self-limiting beliefs, you know, that could actually prevent a woman from becoming that kind of woman she hopes and dreams to be. I mean, she can see it in her mind's eye that this is who she wants to be. She has heard, she has listened to stories, she has probably read books, she's been inspired by other people, and she wants to move from where she is right now. And there's a place she's seen herself to be on the top of the food chain, you know, in her career, to be the very best in her business if she's an entrepreneur. But there are some self-limiting beliefs that could cripple that. Number one on the list is when a woman thinks that she's too old or too young to attempt something great, you know, when she thinks she's too old, too young. So that's about age. And when you think to, and the truth is, no matter your age, you actually died too young or too old, you know, to attempt greatness. Yes, I understand that based on age, there are some physiological things that you may not be able to change. I mean, when you were 20, you know how you looked, your fatties, you know how you look, you're in your fifties, you know how you look, you may not be able to change that, although you can, but you may not be able to change that. With technology. Yeah, with technology you can change, you may not be able to change the physiology, you're right. But in terms of capacity, in terms of your drive to attempt things, in terms of knowing that even when you fail, you have learned something and that you are not overthinking failure, you know, you dare to attempt it, you try, you know, last, last, you've learned something, you know. So some of the self-limiting beliefs are real, you know, I've talked about the one, you know, the one about age, there's also the one about capacity, you know, when you think you're not smart enough, there's also the other side where you think you are too smart, you know, where you think you're too smart for that, you know. Some people, some women think they're too smart because they've consumed a lot of motivation from those that we see. From you people now aspire to aspire. I'm not in that industry, you know, once you consume a lot of motivation, you know, to aspire to desire and to aspire, you're maguire so that you will not expire until you're refier, you know. And so motivational quotes and thoughts that is not founded on reality are not founded on character development, you know, that yes, it inspires you, you are excited about it and then it disappears when you face reality, you know. So some of these self-limiting beliefs are the things that more women need to pay attention to and remember, self-limiting beliefs. So it's actually not what another person is doing to me, it's what I'm doing to myself that I am not aware of, you know. Let it take place in four stages. There is the unconscious incompetence which is I'm not aware that I don't know. There is the conscious incompetence which is oh, now I know that I don't know. Now that's unconscious incompetence when a woman doesn't, is not even aware that the reason I am not getting ahead the way I would love to is because of something in me that is holding me back. I mean, for example, some lady would like to, she has a potential to be a fantastic, amazing presenter that if she stands in front of 500 people, 1,000 people, 5,000 people, she will blow them away. I mean, everybody will be applauded in her. That is what she can do. But when she is right now, she has state fright, you know. She can't, she can have a great conversation amongst her friends. But the moment you say, okay, can you stand in front and tell us the same thing you just shared with us. If she would get there, start shaking, start shivering. You know, she can't put her words together to make sense out of it. Now, while that fear is real, it is important that you get into training, into coaching, into studying, into learning. And that learning doesn't necessarily have to happen within the four walls of a classroom. It can't even be just a book that you are reading. And by the way, you can just keep trying it till you get it right. I mean, there are some of us. In fact, these days, there are just so many things available. I mean, you go on YouTube, you go on different platforms. There are educational materials that, you know, it is at your beck and call. I think what you said that is really, you know, very key is, is the belief that you are inflicted, that, you know, it's self-inflicted. The limitations are self-inflicted. But you know, let's quickly run off on a very short break. I know ladies have questions. We'll come back from the break. Stay with us. Why is the expression okay? Well, don't start again. Now, if you just tuned in, we're discussing empowering women, you know, for peak performance. And we have with us Dr. Biola Salami. Now, please, let's hear what you have to say. Remember, you can join the conversation. Send us an SMS or WhatsApp to 081-803-84663. You can also tweet at us at Weissho, after one for the hashtag Weissho. Gloria, let me come to you. Okay, I would like to... What advice will you give to women that are in environment that are not encouraging? I'll give an example. So, after my university, I was advised. So, I was approached by this potential soto who was interested in settling down with me. I one of the things like, during the course of our conversation, he said this, I want you to hope you know when we eventually get married, I wanted to drop this because I wear heels a lot. Okay. Don't wear heels, wear these four color shoes. So, he was just painting a picture of, oh, I want you to be this homely, half-kid, take care of my kids, something dressed this way because this is his idea of how he wants his woman to be. So, that was not resonating with me because I know where I wanted to be and I knew that if I admit that decision of going down that path, that will be the end of me in terms of what I want to achieve. So, I'm imagining women that are in sort of those sort of marriages, relationship, and they have dreams, they want to be the best of themselves. What sort of advice would you give them? So, the advice, it should have been great, it came early before the marriage. Because they already did. And when you said that the guy didn't want you to wear high heels, I was wondering, is he short and dead? So, I'm thinking. No, he's not exactly high, he does these four color shoes. No, they block heels, he wants to block them. No, but he's trying to protect your knees so I try to actually. So, it's important for us to know that, or rather not just know, for us to appreciate that every individual, they have their expectation of how they want their future to be, male or female. And that has nothing to do with who they are with or who they want to be with. First, as an individual, they have expectations of how they want their future to be. That also includes whoever they will want to be married to, male or female. That's even before the person shows up. You know, we all have some. A picture that you think in your mind. You know, oh, he should be like this, or she should be like this, he should do this. Now, the challenge is when people now get into relationships, we don't immediately start to think about those things that we have in our minds, the expectations we have of how the person should be, what the person should do or what the person shouldn't do. Maybe there are one or two things that swept us off our feet when we met this lady or met this guy. Now, I'm talking in both ways now. When we met this lady or when we met this guy and it made us to forget all of those other things. And then we also did not have conversations that, okay, let me even get to know this person more. You know, will this person actually like it if I do things this way or the other way? We don't necessarily pay attention to that, especially now I'm coming for the lady. Now, when the lady is getting older around here and then there's pressure, there's prayer. You know, and then there's pressure, which is unnecessary, but unfortunately it happens. It exists. You know, and there's pressure from the parents, from friends, you know, there are friends that will make some side remarks that what they are trying to say is that, yeah, we were classmates, but now we are no more mates, you know. So, all of that, so it's easy for the ladies to just forget about those other things as I say, I beg, nah, kukuma getting married. So, but if you're already in it, what should you do? Again, I wish we had this conversation before you got into it. What you can do is to know that every one of us, we have people that can influence us. So, part of what you can do as a lady if you are in that is, what are the people that can influence your spouse? To know that you don't mean harm. In fact, what you are thinking of is what will help the family, you know, to be, to prove you're started off living, what will help the family to continue to grow. So, who are the people that can influence this man that you have found yourself with, who's perhaps not listening to your perspective of things? And then, that can be a way to get into, to really listen. You know, as much as we all behave like we are strong and we are, we are, we are adamant, you know, with whatever opinion that we have, there are people that can influence us. People who have what I call our moobotting, you know, who will get us to listen to them. So, that's one way to, you know, to look at that. I wouldn't even think you should also, you know, before you even get to that stage. What I would also say is, you know, I think he had mentioned it before, there are tools available to upgrade yourself so that by the time you're having that conversation you're already ready for whatever growth that the next level would be for you. Let's say, let's assume that the person that had this moobotting is able to press it well, you know. But I just, I wanted to now go back to the business world. So, I was in a not in a conference, in a small community of women CEOs, amazing women, you know, I met very beautiful women with businesses that are doing well, but, you know, with good turnovers and all of that. And again, when it was time for you to sit down or stand in front of the ventures, venture capitalists, you know, to pitch your ideas and say, okay, this is how much I want. Women were afraid to, you know, a man can actually work in with all boldness and saying, you know what, I need $10 billion for my business. But you see, when it comes to women, we're a bit laid back, when it comes to demands, like, so for instance, I have an idea to build a world-class company, you know, with this, with that and all of that. You know, not many women are bold enough to go out to say, you know what, I want to demand, you know, they're afraid. So what brings that fear? Because again, I believe that if we start to have more top female CEOs, what Mary had complained subtly about, which is, you know, you know, harassment and all of that, you hardly find those things anymore, because now women are the top level and all of that. So how do we get women to start to become a lot more courageous when it comes to their business and more daring? Okay, great question. My first comment is, we give men too much credit. Really? We give men a lot of credit. You guys, you don't, and if you want it in the morning, you can do anything. You go go there and you collect the money. So we give men a lot of credit. While there are men who are courageous to engage, they are a lot of teammates. And this is from my work, right? There are loads of men who won't even show up at all because they won't come for that program at all because of validity, right? So what can women start to do? It's to one understand that courage is not the absence of fear, but the willingness to persist even while you are feeling the fear. Most people who appear courageous did not receive an injection called courage before they left the house. And either they take a pill and it's called courage. In fact, I've been in the presentation before that the gentleman was doing it and was shaking well too. And he said, I know I'm shaking, but I'm still doing it. And because of that, the people who were preaching to were quite compassionate that for your courage, for sure, you know. So what women should continue to do is show up. Show up. Was it a bad presentation? Well, you've learned one thing, you shouldn't do the next time. But growth does not happen while you are just sleeping. Yes, physical growth could happen while you are sleeping, but growth in skill doesn't happen while you are sleeping. It doesn't happen while you are just behind the scenes if you need to be in front. It happens with you being on set. Yes, you are on set. You did the first time. It did not work. I remember you talked about thinking. What did you do? So you did the first one. It did not turn out well. Rather than overthinking it and not attempting it again, just okay. What have I learned from this one? Ah, it was bad. People made fun of me. Yes, that's the reality. All that came with your first attempt. But when you attempt again and you do it again and again and again, you continue to improve. Practice makes perfection. So it's that courage to even step out. That courage that you're afraid. Will they throw to the toes at me? Will they make fun of me? How will it go? Is to begin to start. I mean, to step out. Now, while you are stepping out, it's not just that. Well, I listened to Dr. Beolas Salami on Waze. He said that should step out. So tomorrow is Saturday. Let me just go out there now. Before you go out there, plan how you want your presentation to go. Now, you plan and then also imagine how you want the presentation to go. I mean, for me, coming on this show today. Oh, Waze. Oh, yes. Oh, and I'll with the ladies. Okay. I'll have fun. Yes, this is the topic we are discussing. I don't necessarily know how exactly to pan out. But we'll have a great time or we'll get there. Because when people actually failed before they get on set, right? So when you have condemned yourself before you show up well, you have told yourself, I cannot do this tonight. I'm bad at this. Oh, the last time was terrible. I don't know how this one will be with that worry. You cripple yourself. They are unable to perform when you get to the stage. So just a few things. And you attract what is on your inside. Let me really come to you. Okay. So I'm going to come from the point of view or you spoke about beliefs and limiting beliefs. And they're setting conditioning, you know, that women go through, you know, from a young age, and which is the whole marriage stigma. So I've seen people who want to do better. But at the same time, there's also not that much transparency from women who have made it there. No, okay. You know, so there's that mindset of maybe I should just get married and then get married to a rich man. You know, it now seems like that's an escape because you're not able to actually believe in yourself, you know, to achieve such sustainable heights, you know, and probably over time, you know, you've just been assisted. You've been assisted by by men, you know, rather by father figure is still fine. You know, you, you've had relationships at certain points. There has been a bit of cushion, which is not a bad thing. But how do we get past the conditioning? You know, because I know that a lot of young people right now see marriage as an escape. It's like, okay, I'm not really doing so well. Well, that's us. And there's pressure from society as well to say, oh, you know, Mario, you know, it's almost like there's going to be, even at least you don't achieve anything. You're a married woman is a bit of an accomplishment. You know, so it's such a mind conditioning that I think has really limited a lot of women. Not that they don't have the potential, but it's like you can't even think that big. I'm really happy for how things are now, like with the use of internet, YouTube, and even the whole influencing that seems very cliche, you know, when you say, but it has taken what women call fun, you know, like you see a food blogger, you know, she's able to make something out of what was mundane before. And when they're transparent enough to tell you, oh, this is how much I'm making, it encourages, you know, people to say, oh, okay, if she can make that much from this, you know, so it's possible. I was hearing about the rate cards from this lady Kiki, the, I think she's a comedian stroke, and I was actually chatting 2 million. And literally, I sat there and I told myself, I was like, wow, I know I've said that jokingly, oh, I want to be an influencer. And it sounds like a joke, like, it's not what you want to do with your life, want to be an influencer, like, it sounds very cliche. But hearing that and, you know, seeing a female, I mean, if you're any 2 million per you know, post or whatever, it means you're going to be able to, at some point, purchase a house for yourself, you know, do certain things that we're seeing as it has to be a man. Yes. But I even want to add a bit to what Mary is saying, because it's very important. I know a lot of business women, me, I will talk from the business, a lot of business women that are married to billionaires. So they have everything. But you can't see any growth. Because why? Somewhere at the back of their mind. They just believe that when it's salary time, there's a billionaire somewhere, when it's this, there's a bill. So they do not really push to milk the potential that the business can grow to. Do you understand? So what she's saying is, is even it's deeper. So how do we really, you know, that mindset? Yes, we will do it. And we have 5 minutes, a bit, 3 minutes. We're having fun at the time as leftos. Okay. So it's important that each person, each woman knows what is important to them. Not what is important to us. That is great. But what is important to me? Now, when I know what is important to me, and I see you ahead of me, in that line, you can inspire me. Especially when I truly know how the steps that you've taken to get there. Not just all these motivational expressions, all around. I started with an egg, now I have education. No, not those things. That I really truly know the steps that led you there. Because I think that a woman has decided that, you know what, I'm done with corporate. Let me just marry a rich man and calm down. If that is what she chooses to do, not because of pressure, not because she has no other choice. It's just, she said that, you know what, this is what I want to do now. Fine and good. Now, if the reason she's doing it is because she thinks there's no future, there's nothing else she can do, then we can have a conversation. Right. So, and even for those that, yes, they are married, they run a business, and then they, as far as they are concerned, there's a billionaire somewhere that is doing that. If that is what they are comfortable with as well. But for the woman that is with the billionaire, that knows that she wants to do more. But she knows that it's this money that is keeping her from doing more. Then we can have a conversation. So, for that woman, what's the first thing you should do? The first thing you should do is don't even ask again for money. Give yourself, say nine months. A target. Give yourself a target of nine months, saying that, oh, that billionaire, I still love you. There's nothing wrong with us. It's just that for now, I think I have the potential to grow this business a little bit more. Now, for nine months to 12 months, set the target for yourself. Multiply whatever it is that you have earned in the previous year by 10, and say that this is what you want to deliver. Recruit the right people that will help you to deliver this. Train them so that they have the capacity to deliver this. Yes, if you need help, ask. But make sure that help is not that you are going back to how you used to run your business, getting handouts from this guy. Now, when you do that, you would see how much potential that your business has. And then the following year, you can even add another zero to it. Multiply by another 10, and another 10, and another 10. Because when we're having these conversations, there are people that are comfortable with just baby girl life. Yeah, with where they are. And if you ask me, I mean. There's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with that. It's your choice. If that's your goal. But if you know that that is not your goal, that's just a stopgap, that there's a fire burning inside of you, that you're supposed to be more than this. These are things that you can do. Absolutely. I love it. You have one final question? Because we are not happy. Okay. Quickly. So you have a book. I was going through your profile. You have a book called The Title of the book is something about not being, it's not the month's words, they're about. Okay. So can you just let us know? So I think it's something related to women empowerment. So who says the month's word? Who says it's the month's word? Yeah, that's the title of the book. There's another one coming out in two weeks. It's called The Pick Performing Woman's Companion, right? Which is some of the thoughts that I'm sharing that we've been talking about. We have that in the book. That book was challenging that thinking that has crippled the potential of many women that, oh, it's a month's world. I mean, there's a high chance that you've probably said it to someone or someone has said it to you. Oh, that you believe. Thank you very much. You deserve a book called something, you know. All that you believe it, challenging it. Because the truth is it is actually our world, every one of us. There are women that are doing amazing things. And I'm talking about women that can truly share their stories. They can tell you their journey. Yeah, they can tell you their journey. Women that, it's in the public space, how they move from point A to point B. And even based on where they are now, you see that as they've grown over the years, delivering massive results, you see the humility that is following them the way they're delivering it. You know, yes, I know there are people that don't have anything but they're arrogant. You know, I don't have to explain that one, you know. But there are some that have a little they're arrogant, but you see some women at the top of the chain. I know a number of them, right? On the top of the chain, the humility follows it, right? So these women are there. They've shattered, overshattered, mega-super shattered, glassy, you know, that we talk about. In fact, they were not asking for anybody to give them sit at the table, at the table. They just clear road, carry their table, and drunk it, and sat there and said, which one of you wants to sit on my table? Are you qualified? You know. Women like that, because it's important for women, especially young and middle-aged women, not to allow that phrase, that thing to sink into their minds. When it sinks into your mind, it will start to grow roots. It will disempower you to think, to dream, and achieve greatness. Wow. That's why the logo is written. Wow, wow, wow. On that note, thank you so much, Dr. Abdullah Champ. We are going to become peak performing women by the grace of God. Thank you so much. We had a fantastic time. Thank you, Mary. Thank you, Glory. Now, before we go, I show you follow us. Of course, okay, Dr. Salami actually has three tickets to give to, how many women now? Ten women. Ten women. I think we'll start with the three women on this. So he has three tickets to give to ten women. There's an event for peak performing women, right? If you're interested, just send us a WhatsApp. If you have a woman that you think should be celebrated, send us a WhatsApp. We'll send the tickets across. Is that the 20th of June, right? Is that the 20th of June? Is that the 20th of June? Is that the 20th of June that we saw me to the morning? Okay. We'll send you all the tickets. We'll send you all the tickets. Well, thank you so much, so much. Now, before we go and show you follow us across all our social media handles at Weshaw Africa One with the hashtag Weshaw, right? Send us, follow us across everywhere. Like, share, invite your families and friends to watch and follow. Now, if you missed our quotes for today, here it is again. It says women don't need to find a voice. They have a voice and they need to feel empowered to use it. And people need to be encouraged to listen. And I think that's what Abiola Champ is all about with the peak performing woman, right? You need to just express yourself. We'll see you guys on Monday as we bring another great conversation to your screen. Enjoy.