 All-Survivee starring Mr. and Mrs. Ronald Coleman. This is Ronald Coleman. Anita Coleman. Inviting you to join us again on the campus of Ivy College. The loose ends of any normal week. But Dr. William taught us the action of having every which he's celebrating with his wife, Victoria, as he tops off his luncheon with, of all things, some apple pie. The apple pie order, because there's something so neat and finished looking about one. And when it's neat until you see it, then it's soon finished. Well, well, Vicki, I'm afraid you and apple pie are my two great weaknesses. I have a failing for sweetness and neatness. However, the, the origin of apple pie order seems to be obscure. Even Mitford Matthews in his monumental Dictionary of Americanisms has passed it by. He mentions the apple pandoudi. Oh, I love that apple pandoudi. But you know, references to the apple are not confined to us or our times. Take the classics. Hercules sought the golden apples of the Hesperides for their immortality giving qualities. And the apple of discord led to the Homeric Trojan War. And Isaac Newton was quite struck with one too, conked on the bean. I doubt if Mr. Newton thought it funny. He was too involved with the, with the gravity of the situation before. The references to the apple are too frequent to mention. The tomato was once called the love apple. You are the apple of my eye. And, oh, please credit me with enough restraint to avoid the cliche about an apple a day keeps the, et cetera. Particularly since the green ones will bring him running. However, it is true that the potassium in the apple is a highly essential mineral in the human body. So the saying may have more than a car of truth in it. Anyway, Vicky, that was excellent pie. Oh, Louisa, beg your pardon in another piece of pie. Oh, I'm sorry, but there isn't any more pie. The young man phoned while you were out, Dr. Hall, said he'd like to see you this afternoon. Glad you liked it, Mrs. Hall. Oh, the pie, yes, yes. Did he give you his name, Louisa? Yes, he did. Mm-hmm. Is that all, Dr. Hall? Well, I, um, there's some reason why. Mr. Bichatti, what was his name? Harry Carter. Oh, he must be Nelson Carter's son. Didn't say who his father was, Mrs. Hall. It didn't seem to come up. Try to clear the table now. You do it and the doctor likes more coffee. William? Yes, thank you. I will, just a little more, please. Yes, too, Louisa, please. I had a nice voice. I told him to call about three. Who? Oh, I, uh, thank you. Louisa, this is wonderful pie. I hope you'll get another one soon. Yes, Mrs. Hall. Apricot's good, too. Not too sweet. After all, my sister's husband hasn't worked a day in the last 15 years. Not as good as the apple, though. Patient, my sweet. Louisa will drop another clue when we're least expecting one, but I wonder what young Carter wants to see me about. What a freshman usually comes to see you about. Big problems. And I wouldn't be surprised if this one's about money. Oh, surely not with Jerry Carter, Vicki, why his father's one of Ivy's wealthiest graduates. Well, maybe he'd run through his allowance. But a week or so ago, he borrowed 30 cents from me. Oh. He gave me a lift home in his car and I used the word car out of pure courtesy. It's what I would call a lukewarm rod. Because it promptly ran out of gas and he didn't have enough money to buy one gallon. Excuse me, but here's your coffee. Oh, thank you, Louisa. Now, I don't want you to misunderstand. They've always been very happy together. It's just his rheumatism. Go ahead, Todd, you take it. My turn. Um, your sister's husband, Louisa? Yes, Charlie. Uh-huh. Brilliant. Well, we've now identified him by name. Well, that's a great help. But, uh, let's table Charlie for the moment and come back to Jerry Carter. Uh, he's a pleasant, unassuming young man, Todd. He is, yes, and a reputation of the popular notion that young people with his background must necessarily be arrogant and presumptuous. He hasn't asked a favor of us since he's been here. Oh, I think that's because he's self-conscious about his father's money. Even if it's a big dramatic point about only borrowing enough money from me for one gallon. So I'll bet you 30 cents he's coming over here to pay me back my 30 cents. Well, Shakespeare and I both approve of his attitude. Neither a borrower nor a lender be for loan off loses both itself and friend, and borrowing dulls the edge of husband trade. Well, he must have heard about that. He borrowed from the wife, and I want to see the husband. Well, I, uh, maybe you've forgotten, but I haven't. I owe you for that gallon of gas. Have you got changed for 50 cents? Well, uh, you're not with me, but I'm sure Dr. Hall has. Oh, hello, Jerry. Good afternoon, Dr. Hall. Oh, William, have you got 50 cents and change? Well, yes, I think so. Um, well, there we are. Oh, good. Thank you. Now, Jerry, you give me your 50 cents, and I'll give you 20 cents back because I only owe you 30 cents. And William, you lost 30 cents, and now I owe you 20 cents. See? If you'll write down the details of this transaction, darling, I'll submit the problem to Professor Carlson of the mathematics department. And Jerry, thank you for your thoughtfulness in driving Mrs. Hall home the other day. After what happened, Dr. Vole, I not only ran out of gas, I didn't even have the price of a gallon. I felt like crawling under the hood. Oh, it wasn't that dire a situation, was it? I thought I'd never live it down, but instead of that, I've suddenly become top man in my fraternity. When I went out to get my car the next day, there was a sign on the front seat reading, Mrs. Hall sat here. Oh, wow. Very flattered, you know. You know, confidentially, Jerry, I've only thought of placing similar placards all around the house and garden. Yeah, we could charge 25 cents admission and then show people where I fell down the cellar stairs. And the closet I locked myself in to try to hide your Christmas present. Excuse me, Mrs. Hall, I've got Charlie on the phone. Did you say apricots? No, Louisa, I just chose it. Oh, no, I mean, I'm sorry, Louisa, no, make it apple. We'll try to apricot some other time. Well, it seems we've gotten rather away from the subject, whatever the subject was. At the moment, all I can think of is an apricot locked in a closet. Is that all, Dr. Hall? Yes, I think that's quite enough, Louisa. By all means, make it apple. Oh, Vicky, I'm afraid my discourse at luncheon on the subject of apples started off a chain reaction. Yes, you have to excuse us, Jerry. It's much too involved to try and explain to you. Well, unless you happen to know who Charlie is, in which case you could be of great help. No, Mrs. Hall, I'm still back in the closet with the apricot. You see, our housekeeper is a verbal economist suffering from a slight case of ellipsis. Fortunately, she drops words instead of dishes. I'm glad you finally decided to pay us a visit, Jerry. Tell me, how's your father? Fine, and he wanted me to give you both his best regards, which is one of the reasons I came to see you. But Dr. Hall, I've been wondering, could you tell me, as long as I'm here, would it cause a lot of trouble if I change my English one from 1030 to 930, my economics one from 930 to 1030? Well, I hardly think it would upset the university's schedule, but that would mean you'd have to change instructors. I know, and I'd be sorry to lose Professor Huntley in English. Yeah, then I gather you wouldn't miss Professor Hamlin in economics. Frankly, Mrs. Hall, I wouldn't. And I'm sure he wouldn't miss me either. I don't think I'm getting very much out of the course. Oh, well, I've always considered Hamlin a first-rate instructor. Well, it's not very interesting stuff to begin with, and sometimes I don't think Professor Hamlin is any more interested in it than I am. Well, I have known professors who have apparently been bored but the sound of their own voices. In fact, there is a famous legend of the undergraduate who, when his professor yawned during his own lecture, said, the professor confirms our judgment, but usurps our prerogative. I don't... I think this would apply to Professor Hamlin, Jerry. Oh, no, no, I'm sure you're mistaken. He's profoundly interested in his subject. He may be, but he certainly doesn't sell it to me. Well, last week he talked for an hour about the physiocratic theory, and it was as dry as baked swordfish. That wasn't Professor Hamlin's fault. It was the physiocrats who were arid. Carl Isle once called economics the dismal science. Whether it is or not, I don't believe Professor Hamlin could spice up the subject even if he wanted to attempt it. Well, I guess the real truth is I don't think Professor Hamlin likes me. No. Every time he calls on me to recite it, he seems to delight in getting me rattling. I end up by making a fool of myself. And then the other day, he really went out of his way to embarrass me when I was with my girl. Well, I don't know why I should bother you with all this, because this is my province, Jerry. The failure of a student to interest himself in a subject or the failure of a professor to communicate his knowledge. These are the primary concerns of a college president. After all, a student who is not being stimulated, interested, challenged is not being educated. You said Professor Hamlin embarrassed you, Jerry. How? Well, I was walking across the quad with Marge, my girl, when we met him. I'd cut his class, and he could see I wasn't ill, so I tried to brush it off. I said, I'm sorry, I wasn't in class this morning, Professor. Did I miss anything? Hardly the language of diplomacy. What is he saying? He said, you didn't miss anything you would have understood. I thought it was kind of a nasty crack, but Marge thought it was funny. Maybe I'm just being juvenile, but it's got me. I really want to make a change. Have you spoken to your faculty advisor about this? Yes, sir. But both he and Dean Smith rejected my petition for a transfer, so that's why I came to you with it. I'm not often inclined to overrule faculty decisions, Jerry, but before I give you an answer, I'd like to make a suggestion. Go to the college library and ask for a copy of the 1932 annual. Read the dedication and tell me what you think about it. I will, sir. I'll be busy for the rest of the afternoon, but perhaps you can come by this evening. All right, Dr. Hall, thanks for listening to me. I hate to ask favors. Well, goodbye, sir. Goodbye, Jerry. Goodbye, Mrs. Hall. Goodbye. And thanks again for the 30 cents. Oh, that's all right. Now, Toddy, you're almost as cryptic as Louisa. What's in the 1932 annual? The entire edition was dedicated to Professor Hamlin, and the dedication was written by Jerry's father. Nelson Carter gave his economic professor credit for his economic success and said that he was the one man who had taught him to think. Oh, you are cunning and crafty. Do you think that would make Jerry feel differently? I mean about Professor Hamlin, not about his father. Oh, I'm not sure. I'm not sure we can change Jerry's mind for him. That easily. He regards Professor Hamlin as an obstacle, and he's looking for an easy detour. Now, we've got to find a way of changing the obstacle into a challenge. As my father used to say, a man is on his way to an education when he can tell the difference between a stumbling block and a stepping stone. In this re-broadcast presentation of the Halls of Ivy, starring Mr. and Mrs. Ronald Cullen. It's early evening, and Dr. Hall has placed a long distance telephone call to Nelson Cotter, Jerry's father. And while waiting for the operator to call him back is improvising at the piano. See you early, Debussy. No. As a matter of fact, very late Hall. I just thought of it this moment. What are you going to call it? Variations. Variations on the theme of Victoria while waiting for the phone to ring. Oh. I told Louisa to answer the phone. And thank you, darling. That's lovely. Now do a variation. Variations are infinite. Even when I listen to Bach, Beethoven and Mozart, it's either the... Oh, the Pasacaglia and Fugue in C, Vicky Major. Or the Victorian symphony. Or the William Todd Hunter Televature. Or the Sinfonia Victoria concertante. Oh, the Lever study. Just as long as I'm in your musical library, darling. The loveliest album I... Don't worry, darling. Louisa will get it. The loveliest album I ever acquired. You know, I have a theory that music started with the first man who ever said to the woman he loved. There are no words to tell you how much I love you. And so he hollowed out a read. Or fashioned a loop. Or perhaps simply pounded on a drum to tell how he felt. Then they go. Excuse me, Dr. Hall. But the long-distance operator still can't raise Mr. Nelson Carter. I see. Well, thank you, Louisa. And Charlie wanted me to tell you how much he appreciated it. Charlie? Oh, oh. Charlie, yes. Well, what did I do? He used you for a reference because you liked it. And he signed up two fraternities already. Uh, Vicky. Apple pie? You want apricot? I assembled the necessary elements. At the risk of being, uh, tautological, I... Oh, I always thought you were taut at Ivy. Oh, no, Vicky. I gather that Charlie, your sister's husband, has contracted for the delivery of apricot pies to two fraternity houses on the strength of my enthusiasm at the lunch table. That's what I said. Oh. My sister does all the baking. Now, if you'll excuse me. Operator says she'll keep on crying that number. Charlie just makes the contacts. I've only made contact with Louisa. Well, at the moment, I prefer to have made contact with Nelson Carter. I don't usually like to shift responsibility, Vicky, but in the case of his son, I think it advisable. Jerry has expressed a common complaint of the student who would like to change instructors when the going gets hard. I can't make an exception of him. But, darling, do you think that it is just an ordinary complaint? If it were, wouldn't Jerry have come to you a long time ago? And if he were one of the clever campus politicians, you can be sure he'd have found ways and means of changing instructors without you even knowing anything about it. Well, that's why I would rather not make this decision in my official capacity. I wonder if... What if I were to assume the role of a father in absentia, in local parentis? You've been in more places. Well, after all, knowing Nelson Carter as well as I do, I don't think he would object if I... That's probably your foster son right now. Now, don't bother, Louisa. I'll get it. Good evening, Mrs. Hall. Hello, Jerry. Come right in. Good evening, Dr. Hall. Hello, Jerry. Well, what did you think of the 1932 annual? It was very interesting, Dr. Hall. I'm sure Dad meant what he said about Professor Hamlin. But to be honest with you, it doesn't solve my problem. Even though your father admitted that he had had a similar difficulty when he first studied with Professor Hamlin? I guess I have a mental block. I hate to quit, but he's got me on the run. I'm just a student, so there's no point in my trying to fight back. Yeah, but perhaps that's exactly what Professor Hamlin would like you to do. Why, Mrs. Hall, so we can end up my flunking me? Jerry, I didn't want to mention this to you before, but what if I were to tell you that your father has been partially responsible for Professor Hamlin's attitude? Well, how could he be Dad's... Say, wait a minute. Do you mean that he put Professor Hamlin up to this, that he asked him to give me the works? Jerry, I know your father well, and you're very much like him. He grasped things so quickly as a student that he didn't have to sink very hard, and that can lead to mental laziness. Now, suppose your father, remembering his own experience, told the professor to make it a bit difficult for you to prod you, to make you think. Did you say suppose? Well, you know your father. What do you think? Yes, yes, that must be it. You know, Dr. Hall Dad is quite a guy. Really tough. I remember the first time I ever asked him for a bicycle. Brother, how I had to sweat to get that bike. And brother, I'll bet you appreciated it when you got it. And I appreciate my father, too. I should have guessed. This is all part of Dad's toughening up process. You all right then? I'm taking on Professor Hamlin starting right now. No holds barred. I don't promise to like him, but he can't crowd me out of a class if I decide not to be crowded. Now, that's splendid, Jerry, but don't be too hard on the professor. Now, he wouldn't want to see you up for assault and battering. Professor Hamlin may never win any student popularity polls, but he's a fine teacher. And you will never forget him. I promise you this, Dr. Hall. I'll keep an open mind. I get it. Oh, no. That's your call, William. You better take it. Hello, Dr. Hall speaking. Just a moment. Hold on, please. Yes, Jerry. Now, what were we... You're busy, so I'll be on my way, Dr. Hall. Yes, yes. Come again soon. Bill, what's the matter? Just a moment, please. Jerry, if you'll excuse me. Oh, of course. Goodbye. Goodbye. And Mrs. Hall, if you ever need a taxi, just give me a rail. I promise to have the tank full. After all, the least I could... Yes, yes, yes. That would be just wonderful. I'll ask you to the door. Hello, Nelson. How are you? Fine, but I'm not so sure about you. Well, Nelson, the truth is that I was just about to be caught red-handed in the middle of a big, well, small misrepresentation with your boy. Hey, Jerry there. Let me speak to him. No, no, no, Nelson. He's gone now, fortunately. Because I didn't want him to hear me tell you what I told him you had done. Are you keeping something for me? Is Jerry in a jam? No, no, no. He's been having Professor Hamlin trouble, just as you once did. Really? And I was hoping that you and I could get together on this, but he came here this evening before I was able to reach you. You weren't presuming you were... Thank you. You've just made me an honest man again. Tell me. Well, I'd rather put it this way. It's working. He's a fine boy, Nelson, and I believe that when... Thanks for all you've done. Goodbye. Goodbye. Vicki, that was Nelson. Yeah, I know, I know. Nelson Carter, Jerry's father, who really did what you told Jerry he probably did without knowing he's really done it. But he seems to have done before you even said he did it. And when you get time, darling, you might extract the subject and predicate from that sentence and mail them to me in a plain envelope. Well-intentioned prevarication is a risk I would not often recommend. One's intuition can be wrong, you know. Not yours, darling. Your virtue is so flawless that even when you attempt to tell a lie, it turns out to be the truth. Based on a story idea by Clyde W. Park, professor of English, emeritus, University of Cincinnati. Music was composed and conducted by Henry Russell.