 Hey, hey section four believe what they consistently show you now This is something that I have to teach you because being a man I would consistently show things that women would consistently ignore So you cannot go off of the one good day a week the one good week a month The three good months a year You have to look at consistency What do they consistently show you? That's who they are That's what they do So who are they the most who are they most? Consistently and pay attention to that. So what happens is I see so many people They are hurting hurting hurting you're crying you're broken you're down, but then Your partner makes you laugh You go to the theme park and you ride roller coasters and you have an amazing day You let that amazing day so where you had this amazing day then you went home that night You made amazing love you let that day wipe out the last four weeks of pain in Agony and stress and frustration and anger and resentment you let it wipe it out And you have this amazing day you may have two or three strung together in a row, but then Boom it comes back the same nagging You know anger Frustration arguing is right back and now you're like whoa You're back arguing screaming stuff being thrown or maybe it's not being thrown But you're crying and somebody has to leave somebody has to sleep on the couch You know or you're on the phone and somebody hangs up and now you're right back in this cycle and you go through this again and then once again They pick you back up Stitch you back together Put your eyes back on so your arm back on put you back together, and then you say okay Well, you know, maybe it's cool. Maybe it's cool. You together six months Then you break up for a month together a year you break up for two three months you own again off again break up to make up But you are ignoring what they show you consistently Understand this this what I need you to get from this is that an adult has the ability to grow to learn and to change I remember working in the group home system and I was working with these men and I was talking to the behavior specialist and she said to me she said Tony these men are labeled You know mildly retarded and I was like hmm. Well, you know, what does retarded mean? And she said retarded means that they don't have the ability to adapt so what we do is We test them and we push them to the edge and if you are not retarded You can adapt but if your brain is not fully developed and you are what we label them as mildly retarded Then you lose it you go off So what what happened is these individuals if if I say hey, you know, don't forget to clean your room So a person who whose mind is fully developed may get upset may not like that But may understand like okay. I got to clean my room. You know, this is what I have to do and this is even a child But this would be adult men Who would just go off? F you you in you this you that Yeah, I mean call me the n-word curse me out Go off fly off a handle some of me pick up a chair and throw it all because I said hey Don't forget to clean your room. And so that is what the behavior specialist meant by They are mildly retarded. So this is what I need you to understand if you're dealing with somebody who brain is fully developed and they can Comprehend and they can adapt then they can learn how to treat you in a relationship It does not it is not rocket science It is not that hard like the first time I tried to yell at my wife. I was 21 years old. She was 1920 Um, she shut me down. She shut me down and told me don't talk to me like that She put her hand up. She said don't talk to me like that. And I was like whoa, guess what I Never yelled at her again In that moment. She taught me that if I want to talk to her I gotta have a room tone and I gotta come correct. I gotta be respectful. I Came home five o'clock in the morning one time. I'm knocking on the door knocking on the door She didn't ask her didn't ask her didn't let me in when I finally talked to her. She said you said you would be back by midnight You came back 5 a.m. You're never Coming to see me past the time that you told me you would be there. I was like whoa Wow Whereas most women would have opened the door Fusting cuffs and then got in the bed and made love My wife did not reinforce that so guess what from that day forward. I kept my word If I say I'm gonna be here at this time or I'm gonna call you at this time I kept my word because My mind is able to adapt So if you're dealing with somebody unless you are dealing with a person who is really literally mildly retarded or You know slow learning or learning disability in that area to where they can't comprehend or Adapts unless you literally are dealing with a person like that The adult or the person you're dealing with can change Can grow and if they don't it's because they don't want you and they don't respect you Believe what they consistently show you. Hey, we'll talk soon