 I've never played a video game, but I don't even know what this game is. King of Hearts? It's good. Alright class, settle down. Professor Oliver's had a long day. We just want to get through this shit. Welcome to Guilty Gear Timeline, Baby's first Guilty Gear Timeline. That's the point of this lecture today. Munchy. What is Guilty Gear? We're going to get to that. I just, let me, let me, let me, believe it or not, by the time we get from here to here, you will know. Oh cool. Me? You. I made this class specifically for you. So we're on, alright, I've already one person sated. Okay, so the point of this is we're going to break down the bare essentials of the Guilty Gear Timeline, which is known to be a very dense, difficult to digest lore in video games. And after beating the shit out of my brain with it for three weeks, I can confirm the rumors are true. So despite that this is a baby timeline, this is an advanced course, so I expect everyone to be taking notes. And if you have any questions, feel free to raise your hand, because I'm sure you'll probably have questions like I do, still do. Okay, so just for anybody who isn't, yes Munchy? Bitnate's taking notes and passing them. Check me out, dude. I don't know if you can see this shit right now. But it's literature. Good job. Okay, so Guilty Gear is a series of fighting games that started all the way back on the PS1, and they're still coming out to this day. They're mostly fighting games. There are a few notable exceptions that we will get into. But for the most part is a series of fighting games. The only one name that you really need to know about Guilty Gear is this guy right here, Daisuke Ishiwatari. He's our boy, and he's our god. This is like his brainchild through and through. From what I've been able to understand, he is the director, lead writer, lead art designer, and the composer for the entire series. Holy shit. He does the music. Yeah. So basically, almost. So basically everything that requires creativity and talent and isn't an automaton like skill, he does. So everything that's weird about this shit, it's his fault. Nate. Should we put the mattress in front of the thing? Maybe. That just got really loud. I just noticed it. Sorry to interrupt. No, we need to make a complaint to the custodian to fucking fix that shit. We need to soundproof it. This is what happens when you get these really niche classes. Don't cut our school education budget. Okay. All right. So yeah, Daisuke is our boy and our god. He's responsible for pretty much all of the creative decisions, like all the big head honcho decisions. I'm sure there's other people involved too. But this has been his baby forever. I think the first game, Guilty Gear 1 came out in 90... I want to say either 97 or 98. It was a good year, as we discussed earlier. And they've just been going for a while ever since. And Star on the PS1 stayed mostly on PlayStation. There was one exception. Guilty Gear 2 came out only on the 360 initially, which is kind of weird. That was a weird game in general. But yeah, the game centers around two main protagonists, Soul Bad Guy, that is not his real name, but everyone calls him that. And Kai Kisk. And they're kind of like the Ken and Ryu of Guilty Gear. Nate. What's Soul's real name? We will get to that. It's Lore, important. Monchi. Tetsuya Nomura. No spoilers. Is his name is Bad Guy? Yes, his name is Bad Guy. I didn't put it in the lecture, but the reason his name is Soul Bad Guy is he was going around killing gears during the Crusades and nobody knew who he was. So his code name, they just called him the Bad Guy. Because he went around fucking shit up. And then there is a vampire that he meets eventually in the game. There are vampires in this. He meets a vampire, hangs around with him for a while. And he just feels like this guy is full of energy and intensity and is like the light of the world. So he gives him a name, Soul, which means son. Because that's his name. So he combines them and he becomes Soul Bad Guy. Yes. He's a real bad dude. He's definitely a bad dude. He could save the president for sure. In fact, he actually does do that multiple times. So, on point. But he is kind of a good guy too. I didn't want to be a brown-noser or anything, but I heard that he was heavily inspired, Bad Guy and whatnot by Freddie Mercury. Yes. This game is laden with metal and rock references up the ass. Every attack, every city, everything. The wiki is full of just all this shit. Yeah, it's insane. Soul Bad Guy is actually also a self-insert essentially. It's basically Daisuke's what he wants himself to be. So this is one of those kind of projects. Hippo. Is that a JoJo reference? Sure. The music things? I don't know anything about JoJo. Is it a reference to JoJo? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, good. This is all just part of the JoJo canon, for sure. Okay, so Guilty Gear starts with Guilty Gear 1 over here, but if you notice there's a fuck ton of shit here. The entire story of Guilty Gear is dependent. It takes place in the late 22nd century. So it starts in 2180. However, everything that happens in the story is entirely dependent on shit that happened 200 years ago. So if you don't know any of this shit by reading up on stuff and wikis and stuff, nothing in here will make any sense at all. So before we can get to Guilty Gear 1, we have to go all the way back to the far off future of 1999, the dawn of revival. This is the first big shit that happens in Guilty Gear. So up until 1999, as far as I can tell, the world was pretty much exactly the same as our world. So there were no big differences. Ben? A question. The first game was in 97? I believe it came out in 97, in that time zone. At this point, setting it in 1999 was like saying it was in the near future. Correct. This game, at the time, took place in the near future. But by this shit, we're past this. So unfortunately, my dream of becoming like a gear or something will never happen. My dreams have been dashed unless some crazy shit happens eventually. But yeah, actually this was all taking place kind of questionably in secret. So we might still be on track, not sure. But yeah, so the dawn of revival is the first thing that happens. So until this point, everything's pretty much the same. This doesn't take place in an alternate world. This is like the Earth. There's like the United States and France and Russia and all the crazy shit. Daisuke was banking on this stuff happening to further his career. He was looking forward to these things. I really don't know. A man's a mystery. But he looks like an 80s heavy metal Japanese kind of guy. Like today. It's fucking sick. 20 years later. I would love to meet him. There's like a photo of him from like 2014 at a convention. And he just looks like he walked out of the 80s and I love him. So the dawn of revival happens. And so this is the first big thing that kind of like forks this timeline away from our world. And in the dawn of revival, we're going to start off at a 10, my friends. All the technology in the world goes ape shit at the same time for several hours. And somehow they figure out that there's a life form trying to manifest itself through the circuitry of technology for several hours. And this freaks everyone the fuck out. Munchy. Pacemakers. What about my pacemaker? Would my pacemaker work when the technology revolves? No. Okay. You're fucked. So as opposed to like an EMP blast which would have like turned everything off so it doesn't work. They specifically go like crazy. They start doing stuff. This is like two sentences in a library of XRD. So maybe. I'm not exactly sure the specifics of this because this actually ties into stuff later and it raises a lot of questions like how the fuck did they deal with this? If all this stuff wasn't in place, we'll get there. But basically long story short, a life form manifests in all technology around the world simultaneously and tries to come into our reality and somehow it's prevented or it's just like fuck it and decides not to do that. So everybody freaks the fuck out because their iPhones are revolting or they're Nokia 3310s because it's 1999. And so the UN in response is like all technology is banned. All of it. So no one is allowed to use technology. We don't want to see a single wheel rolling down this road. No. It's literally, it's all referred to as black tech. You can't touch it. It's illegal. Ben. Guy's talking out of turn. He should get demerits. I'm keeping silent track. He's already staying after class. Yeah. I suck it. All technology is banned, right? Yes. My pacemaker. What about my pacemaker? Sacrifice is half being made for the greater good, dude. We don't want this mysterious organism to spawn in the real world again. Okay. It already killed you. Do you want it getting away with it? I guess so. No, it's not really clear like where the break off point of like how high tech is too high tech. You know, like our wheels, fuck. That's kind of technology. You know, like what about the inclined plane? We just, it's really not made clear. I'm assuming it's anything digital, like silicon and circuitry and stuff. That's kind of what it's implied to be. So, banned. And everyone's just like, shit, but okay, like we don't want this happening. So all technology is banned around the entire globe. And predictably, everyone's like, fuck. What do we do without my space? So now everyone's miserable. Society's on the decline. Shit is bad. Humanity's grinding through a halt. Tom can't be your friend anymore. You're fucked. So fuck your iPhone. So this is bad. Then a couple months later, we're all saved because these guys arrive. The arrival of the apostles. And they are five super powerful mages who come out of literally nowhere. And they're just like, hey guys, you know what's cool? Magic. We're going to teach you how to use magic to replace technology. So they come in and everyone's just like, okay cool, I guess we can use magic now. So magic has always existed in the lore of Guilty Gear. We can actually go all the way back to the year like 1100 where some crazy shit happens with magic. So magic's always existed. This is the first time it kind of comes into the mainstream. Digi. Are the apostles like playable characters at all? No. The Guilty Gear games? They are not. They show up. They're pretty cool dudes. They don't want to do anything bad. They just want to save humanity from its own lack of social media. So they're like, let's do magic instead. So they teach everybody how to use magic. So from 1999 to 2008, they kind of like established themselves. They become like big cool dudes. Hippo. Did the apostles make the rumination of technology so that they could appear and give magic to people? They did not actually. They had nothing to do with it. I thought it was being clever. You know what? That's kind of what I thought too when I was at this point. I was like, I see what you're doing. Not true. Very, very interesting. So they come. They teach everybody magic. In 2008, they established the Sanctus Maximus Populi, which is kind of like a governmental organization to help spread magic across the entire world. Nate. So this was in 2008 that the apostles appeared? They appeared in 1999. A couple months after the dawn of revival, because there's no way we would have made it without Facebook for eight years, let's be real. So the same year, a couple months later, they come out of nowhere and they're like, we got you. And then they just kind of like rise to fame. People are like, you guys are fucking cool. And they kind of slowly kind of do things naturally, but eventually we need to get this shit. We need to get some bureaucracy in here to make this shit really good. So that's what happens. And they start the Sanctus Maximus Populi. And that's like their group. And that was in 2008? That was in 2008. Same year Obama got elected. Oh, is he Guilty Gear? Is Obama Guilty Gear? I didn't want to say it. Yes, yes he is. Okay, so this is a good point to break into what exactly is magic in Guilty Gear, because it's kind of weird. So it's kind of like this blend of natural and supernatural phenomenon. So there's a bunch of crazy shit that no one really understands, but also there is something called the theory of magical science. So it can be studied as a science and you can base technology on magic instead of regular technology. So there's like magitech replacements for most of the common things that would exist pre-dawn of revival. And we've kind of learned how to break down like the basic building blocks of how magic works to use it as a basis for like, you know, cars and buildings and machines and all that kind of stuff. Like instead of iPhones, they have these little like holograms that kind of hold up their heads and they can talk and they can take photos and stuff. They have like the coolest smartphones, 10 out of 10. Which is obviously the most important thing to develop. So magic, let me trip my notes because this is going to be, it's basically, until like around here all we knew about it really was that it was unlimited power source. So like one of the biggest problems was like no technology, there's no nuclear power, there's no electricity, there's none of that shit. So we're all fucked. Magic is an unlimited power source. It doesn't, it's totally green, 100% clean that is. There's a big environmental movement that happens around here too with the introduction of magic. So it's unlimited power source. But like how do you use it? Do you have to like study rituals or like open an old book or something? Maybe. They don't really go into that part. It's more, it's treated more as a science than as like fantasy magic. Like it's basically like, it's basically a power source you can tap into. Like every time they talk about the like how magic works they go into like Star Trek-esque techno babble instead of just like casting circles and shit. So it's not like wizards casting spells. You can do that, but you're a really smart guy if you can do that. You have hope in this future, Ben. Okay, so yeah, it writes a line between natural and supernatural phenomenon is the source of all the power and abilities and guilty gear. So when like soul like shoots fire, that's fire magic. And yeah, it's able to be specifically studied scientifically the magical theory of science. That's what it's called. It's a whole like scientific thing that's replaced old gay science up here. We have this new cool magical science that we're using now. So there are five main branches of magic. There's fire magic, lightning magic, wind magic, water magic, and key. So key is like spiritual energy magic. So it's not just limited to elemental expression, though. Magic can do pretty much anything. Time travel, summoning, you name it, it can do it. Daisuke is just like magic is this cool shit. Whatever he wants it to do, it can do and he can be like, it's magic, motherfucker. And you can't argue with it anymore. This is like his ultimate MacGuffin and just like, whatever I want to happen, I got my excuse. So yeah, that's what magic can do. Elemental magic is the most common and most understood. People can usually use one kind of magic. It's kind of like avatar in that respect. It can be like a pyromancer or like a lightning man, whatever the fuck you want to call it. However, key is the most powerful magic and it's the most misunderstood or the most mysterious because it breaks all the laws of the theory of magical science. And for some... Well, that didn't take long again. For some, it gets weird. For some reason, only Japanese people can use key. No one else can. You're kidding. I am not. Is it possible that that's because Japan is the only place that has a word for key? I don't know. Maybe. But it's... Is everyone in Guilty Gear Japanese or most of them? No. Okay. We will get to that shortly, my friend. Okay. Yeah, trust me. I got everything here. Isn't it at least one of the games like Japanese people are generally being hunted? Aren't they heavily persecuted for this reason? Yes. We will get to why in a second. We're actually getting pretty close to that. Okay. So we do all that. That's what magic is. It's pretty cool. Everybody likes it. 2010, two years later, magic is fucking everywhere now. We've successfully transitioned. You know how like in 2007, the iPhone came out and when you had a smartphone, everyone was like, holy shit! It's fucking rad. And then like now it's just like, who cares? Like it's not cool anymore. That's what magic is at this point. It's everywhere. You're not cool anymore. Of course you're a mage. Everybody is. I don't care. So that's where magic is by 2010. Yeah. So there's also huge environmental movement going on at this point too. So everyone is actively deconstructing and destroying all the old technology, like all the remnants of old tech that's been banned. It's like specifically called black tech. You're not allowed to use it. They're getting rid of it. Did you have a question? Okay. I'm assuming that everything I say is going to prompt questions at this point. All right. I need some fucking water. We barely even scratched the surface. Okay. 2014. The gear project begins. This is the single most important event of the entire timeline of guilds gear and it affects everything going forward. That's why it's called guilds of gear. Sort of. But we'll get to exactly why. So this is implied to have been started by the United States of America, but it's never specifically said. So it was maybe probably the U.S. who's like, let's make gears. So the gear project is originally designed to use magic, the science of magical theory, to genetically alter human beings on a cellular level to artificially influence human evolution. We're going really hand with magic. Like we're just like, okay, we're bored with fire. What else can we do? So that's the idea behind the gear project. But eventually they're like, fuck it. Let's just make bio weapons. It sounds so much cooler and it's way easier. So yeah, originally designed to do that, blah, blah, blah. Only a handful of people are known about this project. It's super secret. There's only like two entries in the codex. There's not a lot about it. Nate. So originally gears were just going to be humans, but just like better and like going down a great path was like transhumanism, magic. Yes. That was the original idea. And so, but it changed to be, okay, we're kind of going to spin off from that and make them like a guy who's got a nuke inside him or like something crazy. Yeah. They just say, oh, they're crazier than that, my friend. But yes. That's the idea. So there's only a handful of people known who are involved in the Guilds of Gear project. I have 10 nukes inside of me. Kind of. Oh, yeah. I know that guy. Kind of. We'll get to that. Kind of. It's funny you say nukes specifically for a reason we made clear in a few seconds. So the most important people in the entire Guilds of Gear canon were involved in the Gear project. They were Frederick Bogara, Aria Hale, and that man. He's only referred to as that man. He's like the Voldemort of Guilds of Gear. Munchy. Have you seen this man in your dreams? Thousands of people worldwide dream about this man. This man.org. He's actually Florida man. What happened to the apostles? Are they still around? They kind of just disappeared and everyone forgot about them. Canon. We'll get back to them, but for now, everyone was just like, they're so mesmerized by their magic iPhones. They don't remember who gave it to them anymore. They just don't care. So they just kind of fade into the background and shit just keeps going on. So the Gear project starts. Aria, Frederick, that man. They're super important. They influence all this shit. So they're all super smart, intelligent, science-y guys working on this Gear project. Now that man is kind of like, he's not the head guy, but he's one of the big, high level guys. And then there's Aria and Frederick. They're all friends. They're like that Trinity, that Shonen anime Trinity kind of friend guys. They're all buddies. And Frederick and Aria, they eventually hook up and they're just like, yeah, we're dating. We're lovers. We're cool. Nate. You said they're high up guys. High up guys in what institution? In the United States? Assumedly the United States and whatever scientific division of the US, maybe probably US, was involved in doing the Gear project. They're smart dudes doing smart dude shit is what we really need to understand about them. So the only problem is that they're doing this shit. Everything's cool. Frederick and Aria, they fall in love. That man is their buddy. They're all having a good time. Then they find out that Aria is terminally ill and she refuses to accept treatment because they don't actually have a treatment for this. But of course, that man and Frederick are super smart science guys. So like, let's stop working on this gear gay shit and let's make you not die. And she's like, no, I don't want to not die because they're just like, well, we can cryogenically freeze you and we can work on trying to figure it out. She's like, no, Frederick, I love you. I've been with you for the last few years with you because you're the coolest guy ever. And he's like, fuck that shit. I'm smart. I'm going to figure this out. So he rejects that. But she ends up apparently dying anyways. They don't find the cure in time. And he's really sad. And so they kind of just keep working on shit. And so he's just a sad boy because he can't bang his hot group GF anymore, which understandable. OK. First documented MGTOW. Kind of. I was doing that. I was raising my hand. First documented MGTOW. Sad about his wife's death. The ultimate MGTOW pastime. You know, it's funny. But I can't say anything right now because it will spoil things. But I have a good zinger for that. Let it be known. OK. So two years later in 2016, the gear project is going good and they successfully create the first prototype functioning humanoid gear. So how a gear works is that it's not specifically like an artificially created life form. You take an existing life form. You modify it on a genetic level and infuse it with what are essentially referred to as gear cells. And it becomes a gear and you weaponize it. So most of the time you can make and do really whatever you want. But they basically turn into big giant monster rapey guys who just kind of get big claws and look scary. And they have no brains anymore. They just smash it. Because again, we're trying to make weapons that fuck shit up. And what's a more effective weapon than big monsters? So you have to somehow transport and you can't like turn off. It's brilliant. But they first they make a humanoid gear. So they experiment on a human to try and turn a human being into a gear. Just like, what would happen? Let's find out. And the first humanoid gear is Frederick. He's transformed into a gear. We don't know if it was willingly or not but considering the first thing he does after he becomes a gear is trash the facility and run the fuck away. Probably not a thing he volunteered for. Nate. So he was one of the people running this operation. Yes. And yet they chose him to be the right test subject. Yes they did. It seems strange. Seems like an odd choice. Very true. Exactly. Okay. There actually is a story reason way the fuck later. No. But it is weird. Okay. So Frederick is now a gear. But some humanoid gears can retain their sense of self especially human figures because they have brains. Like if you take a dog you make a dog gear. It's a dog. But sometimes human can retain their sense of self and he does. So he just kind of runs away and they're like shit our facilities blowed up. Our boy is gone. The bosses aren't going to be happy about this and they're not. They're going to be happy about this. So we have a project down in 2014 and everybody who was involved in the project so Batman's the only ones left that we know about disappear. They're gone. Nate. So he was the only humanoid gear made. Not clear. Okay. Not sure. He's the only one that we know about. There are implications further in the canon that there were other prototypes made. But as far as we know at this point he's the only one that matters. And he's the only one that's been specifically named so I had a question and it was something about guilty gear. It's a lot to digest. Did you? Who would win in a fight? A guilty gear or a metal gear? A guilty gear for sure. A guilty gear could probably take like 200 metal gears. No problem. God damn. This is like some Dragon Ball Z shit. We're going to get to it. What happened to our boy Fred? What happened to him? Frederick? Yeah. Where'd he go? He's a gear now. Well I know. And then what happened? Yeah. Yeah. He's going to pop back up in here a little bit. We'll get to him. But he's kind of, he's not referenced a super bunch. Okay. But he is still around. He's cool. Because once you're a gear you're immortal. You can't age. Oh, okay. So he's just like, shit. You know. Okay. So for the next 60 years shit just starts brewing. So this is like shut down. Stuff isn't happening. Frederick, because he's still a super smart sciencey man, he creates an inhibitor device that he puts on his body and he can pass this human. Because once you turn to a gear you don't look human anymore. You look like a scary, raw, raw monster. So he makes an inhibitor device that makes him significantly weaker than he would be as an actual full-fledged gear. But he looks for the most part human. So he kind of just hides in society. He's like, fuck guys, my girlfriend's dead and now the monster just sucks. So he's just kind of a sad boy doing, doing sad boy things. So, and despite like being off the books, that man I guess is still kind of tooling around playing with gear stuff because he likes to. In 2042 the gear project officially restarts again. Because this is like 30 or something years later, magic is a big thing. So the United States is just like not big in the political stage anymore. So they're like, well if we can't be cool guys making like toys and shit, let's just fucking start killing people and just like make an empire. So they decided to make gears again to try and like take over everybody. Ben. Question about that man. Is his name like less awkward in Japanese? No. I have no idea. I don't know Japanese. Nate is the phrase that man. I am going to just let you know that like, as he said everything's a reference to a song or something. So like all the names are awkward and strange and guilty gear because they are all like strained music references. But that's also why it's awesome. Yeah. I mean the character's name is Soul Bad Guy. Yeah. If you're a big metal buff, there's tons of things like Kai Kisks, his ultimate attack is called Rising Force and Soul's is napalm death. So it just, there's tons, it's littered everywhere. You can't go like three seconds without finding a metal reference in guilty gear. Yeah. So the gear project restarts in 2042 because the US is like shit guys, we're not cool, we can't sell stuff to people anymore. Let's kill them instead. Nate. I'm sorry, I just wanted to illustrate the point of that man. I just looked it up and in Japanese, that man's name is Anno Otoko as in the Japanese phrase for, you know, the Japanese term, that man over there. So it's not like Zatoman or anything. It is literally, they're saying like that man, like that man. Just saying. No, it's not like a word play or anything that we're literally translating. They literally just call him like that man. That appears to not be a reference. They're simply saying that man. No, I don't believe that's a reference. From what I can tell, it's just, they're just, you know, he's like Voldemort. You can't say his name. He's a bad boy. Monchi. Oh, so he is a bad boy. There's a reason why he can't say his name. Um, yeah, he's going to just... He hasn't done anything yet. Yeah. What will you do, things? Okay, okay. They call him that man. He always did something. Yeah. Okay. So at this point, from what I can tell, that man is now helming the entire project. He's like the head honcho, or he's like up there. He's like even more up there than before, because like the other two guys are gone. So he's like working on this shit, making gears happen. Okay. In 2065, the first combat-ready gear is completed. So they're making progress doing shit. Then we get to 2074. And this is when the bad things start. Everything was going great until 2074. So in 2074, the first perfect gear is completed. Justice. She's fucking dope as shit. Super powerful. Well, fuck your shit up. She's like the ultimate fucking gear. And that man made her, and she wrecks Nate. I'm just curious. What defines a perfect gear? Did they have a sense of self? Are they like intelligent soldiers? Are they just like really good killing machines? A perfect gear. Well, technically, we're going to get into it in a second, but what makes Justice special is that she's like, basically she's the culmination of that man's research into gear cellular kind of manipulation and stuff. So she's like the end result of all of his research. She's also special because she's what's called a commander gear. So she can command other gears. She's kind of like a general, which is going to be very important. Does that mean she has some sort of like psychic connection that allows her to like manipulate them? She can basically inject her programming into other gears, regardless of there if they have a sense of will or not. So even if you're a gear who has a sense of self, Justin can be like, fuck your brain. It's mine now. And now you just do whatever she says. So she's kind of cool like that, but kind of scary. So Justice is created. That man's like, I fucking did it, guys. I'm a good dude. But somehow Frederick, still tooling around, minding his own business, becomes aware that that man made Justice. It's not sure if like this is some secret dark black project that nobody knows about, or America's just like, hey guys, today in like fucking New York Times, we fucking finished Justice. Yeah, not really clear. But somehow Frederick does find out that Justice was completed and because he's a gear himself, and knows how fucking bad gears can be, he creates a counterweapon called the Outrage. We don't know much about it, but it's pretty cool and it can fuck gears up pretty bad. But it itself is not a gear? It is not a gear. It is not a biological weapon. It's like a sword gun kind of thingy. We're not going to really get into it, but I can explain it. It's actually eight separate weapons that combine together to form an ultimate weapon. So some of the characters in the games use Outrage, one of the Outrages as their weapon. Just like the famous sword used by Cloud Strife and Advent Children. There you go. You just made that so much gay. I'm sorry. And it was already pretty gay. Okay, so 2074, they got Justice. They got the shit on lock. They got combat-ready gears ready to go. They start mass producing these motherfuckers and they're set to invade everybody and be like, America's colonizing motherfucker, white power. Not really, but probably. So that's their plan. And so Justice, who still has a sense of self because she's like, the super power figure is like, you're not using my people for your shit and I can command them. Fuck you! And Command takes control of all the gears that have been created and is like, let's just kill you guys instead. And so this starts on a 100-year award called the Crusades where America fucked everything up again thanks Drumpf and now there's fucking all these gears everywhere. I thought Justice was the first gear. She's the first perfect gear. Yes, she's the first perfect gear but there are a fuck ton of other ones made. So this is probably a good time to get into what is a gear. I was going to do that up here but this is a better place for it. What is a gear? This is where the series gets named. Gears are not like a gear turny thing. They're a biological weapon. They're not a species in and of itself. You modify existing species. Most gears are mindless monsters. They just go around and smash shit. But you can have certain gears that retain a sense of self, mostly ones derived from human beings. Digi. Are any of or how many of the player characters are gears? Spoilers to get into it but not many. Is Dizzy a gear? She is. We'll get to Dizzy. She's technically half gear but I don't know why she's only half gear. Munchy. So they're like gross weird monsters, right? Yeah. Or something like Godzilla or like little rat. They actually run the gamut. So there's a bunch of different kinds of gears. There's like regular foot shoulder gears that are just like a really ugly looking zombie kind of dude. There's commander gears which can look like really anything. They're mostly humanoid just because you want to be smart so they can think and how to do stuff. There's only a couple of those that we know about but there are ones called mega death gears. Another metal reference. That can be as big as entire cities. And they're not fucking around. And they will fuck your shit up. Okay, so if a gear is made from something what did they use to make a gear the size of a city? Magic. Remember this is important up here. Gotcha. So they just shot a lot of lightning at it and it became really big. I don't fucking know dude. This guilty gear is you're going to learn is designed in reverse. Like this is a cool idea. How can I shove my bullshit back into it to kind of make it make sense as opposed to thinking from the bottom up? So that's a recurring theme throughout all of this. So there's big fucking gears. They're fucking shit up. Everyone's pretty pissed off. The first thing that Justice does that kind of starts the crusades is she's like, I hate anime and blows up the entire island of Japan. The landmass destroyed. Fucking obliterated. Finally. Yeah, so no more anime. No more ki. Yeah. It's one of the reasons why we think that she did it. She wanted to get rid of all those ki users. They're fucking, there's a huge crater on the bottom of the ocean. She has a gamma ray that just, bloop, gone. Okay. So she wanted to get rid of Japan because they have ki, but why was ki a problem for her? Why was that something that she felt a new to get rid of? Well, because magic. Did you feel they were going to try to stop them? Yes. Magic, but even though, if you're just a regular dude, if you know how to use magic, you can kick some serious ass. If you're a really good magic user, you can fight a gear and keep up. So this isn't like, oh my God, humanity's fucked. All we have are like M16s and planes. No, we can shoot fireballs for fun. Like we're fucked, but we're not super fucked is kind of where we're at right now. But ki is like this, they don't explain a lot about ki. Like I'm assuming probably somewhere down here we might learn more about it, but we haven't gotten there yet. Gears can also use magic, right? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, they can. They're basically made with magic. So, yeah. Right. Yeah, so some shit's going down. So the crusade starts, it's some bad shit. We're kind of fucked. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. So Japan, gone. Shit. No more anime. That's bad. And clearly the world is pissed. We're not having this shit. We declare war on the gears. The UN's like fuck you and they form a new series of fighting people called The Sacred Order of Holy Nights. And that's why it's called the crusades because it's like a holy war. And we're like, fuck them. And we go after them. Nate. So is that in 2074 when the bomb drops on Japan? Yes. That's like when it's like, okay, now it's time. Yeah, it's go time. Okay. So we nuke to Japan again, finish the job this time. And now we're going for the throw. So yeah, there's a big... Justice is an American creation. Correct. That blew up Japan. Yeah, we finished the job. It took us a while. But we got there. It took like a hundred and change years, but you know, hashtag finished the job. So... Justice does what drumf don't. Hell yeah. So we're like fuck dude, these gears are kicking our ass. We need to fuck them up so they create the Sacred Order of Holy Nights. They're like the premier fighting force of the world. All the world kind of bombs together. And we're like we got to, we have a common enemy now. We got to kill these robot fucks. And so we start, we start growing ham on them. Not a whole lot is known about this hundred year period in the Crusades. But like the one thing we really know comes from one dude named Cliff, motherfucking Anderson. That's not his actual middle name, but it might as well be because he's the coolest dude. He fucks everything up. He's the only non-Japanese who can use key. So he doesn't fuck around. There's this big fucking monster, this big fucking monster gear, Megadeth class gear that is destroying all of London. And like the entire Sacred Order of Holy Nights is just holding it back and barely fucking winning. Cliff bombs in by himself and fights it for seven days straight alone. And is able to cut off three of its heads and a bunch of its limbs before the rest of the fucking knights come in and steal it away. We can't kill gears very easily because we're just little people. So a lot of the times what's done is we kind of seal them like an alternate dimension or kind of keep them in stasis or something like that. That's kind of how we deal with like the bigger like fuck you gears. What was his name again? Cliff Underson. Cliff Underson. So he's the ultimate weave. He's the only man who has the understanding of Japanese culture. He watched so much fucking anime and got so pissed when fucking the last rebuild movie is never going to come out or something. He just went ham on him. Is he a playable character? He is. Oh cool. Yeah. His appearances and later in the series aren't technically canon because he's an old guy by the end of this. But he is playable in Guilty Gear 1 and he's pretty cool. By then he's an old guy kind of like squats down like this. He's got a big giant fucking knife that's like huge just as big as he is. I think it's called the Dragon Slayer or the Dragon's Tooth or something like that. Probably a Berserk reference. But yeah, he's fucking cool and his key power lets him become young again. So when you use his key power it becomes a big fucking buff young dude and wrecks your shit. So he's fucking cool. So he just kind of carries the crusades for a while. He becomes the leader of the Sacred Order of Holy Nights. He fights justice, I think like 17 times, mono e mono. They just fucking go to town but neither of them can kill each other. And another big important thing that happens during the crusades is that our two main characters come into the story. So Kai Kisk is born near the tail end of the crusades and he's an orphan from the war and he's like a good boy. He's a very religious chaste, not that justice but like actual justice like stands for that shit and very black and white kind of mentality like you're good or bad. He's like a really, he's a shovers dude. You know, he definitely is like a beta orbiter probably. But he's just a nice boy and Cliff... Did you put his, he's a good boy, did you raise his hand? He's a beta orbiter or did you put his hand down? The question answered. And of course, he's my main so... I couldn't choose anyone else. Ben. Kai Kisk, yeah. He's my main too. Fuck yeah. Digi. This is a terrible system by the way. Is it really pronounced Kai Kisk in that Kisuke? It's Kisk. Okay. Is it a reference to you? No idea. Japanese or something. He's actually French. French. I will say just to get it out of the way Guilty Gear Double X has not the first best soundtrack but the second best soundtrack as well because Guilty Gear Double X the international version has the soundtrack from Daisuke himself which is fucking amazing. Then for some reason the Korean release had a totally different soundtrack from a band that Daisuke was involved with totally separate soundtrack just as fucking dope as shit so Guilty Gear Double X has the first best and second best soundtracks of all time. Which of those two is better? I would say probably... I have so much nostalgia for the OG but the second one's really fucking good too. Fuck. Ben. Why is Daisuke such a hero? Because we needed him. That's like if Kojima were in a metal band on the side and he just put his band's music into his band and it rules. The good thing about Guilty Gear is it's never hit critical mass. So it's never been ruined. I was thinking about Sonic Adventure 2 because all that music that Crush 44 band is like some friend of the developer and him made a band together. Your heart. Fucking sick. I love it. Yeah, so definitely check those out. If you play Guilty Gear Double X you've never heard the Korean version just search it on YouTube. So good. Okay, but we're still over here. We're not even close to that shit yet. So Kai, born, joins us the Sacred Order really young. He actually becomes the new head of the Sacred Order of Holy Knights at 16 after Cliff retires. He was a young little boy but he fucked shit up. He's a super good lightning magic user. And you can just fuck gears up bad. So the Holy Order entrusts him with the Thunder Seal Sword which is like one of their super powerful like treasured weapons. And it just enhances lightning magic makes him even more of a badass. He takes control of the Holy Order and fucks shit up. Also around the same time, I think a few years earlier Soul enters the scene. He's just this dude. He fucks up gear. He's a bounty hunter. I don't know how you can be a bounty hunter like the entire world is like collapsing around you. But I guess people still need gears taken care of and he's the man for the job. So he's just going around killing gears and he's becoming like he's the bad guy. Everyone's like the gears are just being destroyed. He's the bad guy. I thought the gears were bad. I thought we wanted to kill the gears. So I see a bad guy killing the gears. He's a bad guy. He's a badass. Does the gears call him bad guy? I don't know who calls him bad guy. This is all probably retconned after the fact. This is just a Freddie Mercury reference to being the first engineer. Freddie Mercury's nickname was Mr. Bad Guy, IRL. So in the same way he's a bad guy. So, Sol is just bombing around, fucking shit up. He was born, I don't even remember. But he's in the Crusades, he's fucking shit up. Cliff recruits him into the Holy Order even though he's kind of like this loner. He's basically the exact opposite of Kai Kis. If you even look at them graphically, Kai's like bright whites and blues and Sol's like dirty kind of browns and reds so they complement and like reach other color wise and also personality wise. He doesn't give a fuck about anybody. He'll fuck your shit up. He doesn't give a crap. He's really brass and abrasive. But he joins up the Holy Order anyway because he's like, I want to kill gears. Let's do it. And he only stays for a little while but he's like, you guys are all fucking bitches with your holy like religious crap. I don't like it. So he leaves but he steals the fire seal sword on his way out because he's like, this is cool. I'm a fire guy. So he just steals their sword. And Cliff knows what's going to happen here but he still keeps fucking up gears by himself. He just, they were cramping in style. So that's where the two main characters kind of come into the story at this point. So blah blah blah blah more shit happens. There's a big conclusive battle in 2175 called the battle of Rome. Yes. I notice it's 101 years between the Crusades and 2175 when the war ends. So like is like are those characters like very old? Are they there the whole time? Or is they born 20 years into the war? I believe in 2093. Kai is born way the fuck later. So by the time Kai's recruited Cliff's in like his like mid 60s. He's an old boy. That's why he retires and Kai takes over. I wasn't sure if like this is implying that people live way longer. They don't. You get killed by gears pretty quick. So, okay. Yeah. So in 2175 the battle of Rome happens. I believe that's a final battle of the Crusades. So it's just a fight justice by himself. He puts up a good fight but weakens her but doesn't beat her. Then all the Holy Order guys come in and they're able to seal justice away in an alternate dimension. How? Magic. Fuck it. This is how. So they do that and luckily for humanity all the gears that justice was controlling immediately sees functioning and collapse on the spot and the war instantly ends and the war is over and everyone's happy. And so during this time basically all of the fucking world is just destroyed. Like all of Europe is gone except for England and France so the only countries that survived, White Power, Ben. Who won? The humans did. We did it. Yay! USA! USA! USA! USA! The United States is completely destroyed and doesn't exist anymore. Because Mexico! Mexico! Mexico! Mexico! Yeah. So it's weird. Later in the series it kind of comes back but for a while it's just a lawless area where America used to be that's literally referred to as a country. A? A country. Like you're just in a country. What's a country? The United States. The remnants of the United States are referred to for a while in the canon as just a country. So because it's bad over there. Because all the gear plants were there making gears were there so when justice was like hey guys they got fucked pretty hard. So China's a huge big power now. Japan is fucking gone. So they kind of round up all the Japanese and put them in like internment camps like colonies and stuff and they're kind of like because they're like kind of powerful I guess question mark but they're also like a hell me a handful of them left so they don't want them to all get wiped out and shit so you're like obligated to stay in these kind of Japanese internment camps. So once again America had it right the first time. You said it's the Japanese who get rounded up. They do. Oh I thought you meant the gears. No no no. All the gears are just corpses now. None of them. Okay. They're all pretty fucked. As an Asian American I have a deep aversion to internment. Yeah. Yeah so We're just referencing what happened again. World War II happened again. Like I said we finished the job on both counts. We did that whole panel. Okay. So we did that we killed some shit we fucked up some robots good times were had by all except for all the death. Another thing to mention that kind of happened during the Crusades is that there were other anti-gear weapons developed besides just like the Thunder Seal and the Fire Seal Swords all that kind of stuff like those cool kind of weapons there was things called the Forbidden Beasts. Cool. Yeah they sound pretty cool right? They're because no one is allowed. No one is allowed. The Forbidden Beasts are parasites that are implanted inside a human being. Sounds like my cat. Oh for fuck's sake. No. That eventually killed the host. Sorry. Just get it out of your system now. Yeah the reason I even bring that up is because two of the characters in the Guild of Gear series Zato 1 and Milio Rage they both have Forbidden Beasts and you have to give up something in order to use a Forbidden Beast so Zato we don't know what Milio gave up but Zato had to cut out his own eyes in order to accept the Forbidden Beast Eddie into him. That's why he wears a belt over his head. What does it like do? Does he gain powers? Yeah like if you've played the video Abilities he has like this like summon that like basically comes off of his shadow and he can like turn his arms into like crazy shit and fuck things up and he can like teleport and things like that. That's the Forbidden Beast. Like I've played the games but I have no clue why anyone can do anything. Yeah that's Zato's Forbidden Beast named Eddie which again is another iron maiden reference and then Milio's Forbidden Beast is in her hair. That's why her hair can like turn into knives and fucking fly around and shit. In order to get her Forbidden Beast but it's kind of implied that it was her actual hair because she's scared of going bald. That's like one of her canon fears which is weird. So I'm assuming her hair is probably just the Forbidden Beast. But yeah that's a little aside but I'll use Zato mains out there now you know. So yeah Crusades done the world fucked up but we're kind of on the upswing now because we don't have to worry about these fucking robot monsters full attempt skill just fails blah blah blah. Kai retires from the Holy Order because they're disbanded and now the war's over and he becomes a high-ranking officer in the International Police Force. Soul just kind of goes off and becomes a bounty hunter again. Cliff retires and just kind of goes and beats an old man Nate. Just on the subject of justice and the Crusades. So I'm just a little confused. Why was justice wanting to like was their goal to like wipe out humanity? Correct. But I know that like the government that did so as a weapon Yes. and she chose to go back against them. Correct. Did they decide that like all humans were evil as a result of this? I guess so. Okay. It's not exactly made explicit. Okay. She's just big and scary. Is justice still around when the war ends? She's banished in another dimension. So as far as we know she's bye-bye. For now. Wink. I know she's a secret character. Yeah, she is a secret character. It's interesting actually I was totally fucking confused. Actually I can't get into that now. It'll be spoilers. But I'll get into that later. Okay. So war ends 2080. We're finally at the first fucking video game of this goddamn series. Video games. Video games. Video games. Video games. Video games. Guilty Gear 1. All right. I want one. So there's a rumor floating around on whatever magic Twitter is in the Guilty Gear world that justice is coming back. That shit's bad and it's only been five years since the other crusades. Everyone flips their shit because they don't want justice to come back because fuck dude that was bad enough the first time. Like almost all the world's destroyed. So in order to like quash the rumor make sure it's not true or to prepare themselves in case justice actually does come back the United Nations forms the second holy order and holds the holy order fighting tournament. Because what's a fighting game without a fighting tournament. So they all have to go beat the fuck out of each other to prove who's the best guys so they can go fight justice to who may or may not actually even exist yet. Weird premise but this there you go it's a fighting game. That's just like when real nations declare war they just they get all their armies together so the armies can fight each other for a while before the real war starts. But if you have guys who can make fireballs who needs armies anymore. So Guilty Gear 1 that's the basic premise of the game and shit happens and you find it at the end of the game like this is like where the story you're paying on who you play. There's non-canon endings and stuff so kind of kind of this is where we get to start piecing shit together and figure out like the little strands of actual did happen versus what didn't. So as far as I'm able to put together in Guilty Gear 1 is that the entire thing was a lie. The tournament was not to to find people to fight justice. It was done to revive justice by a guy actually I forgot to mention it in here in the Crusades Cliff had an adopted son named Testament and he was a little bitch and he wanted to help fight in the Crusades so he volunteered to get himself turned into a gear which was a really stupid idea I don't know why he did that but he was immediately taken over by Justin started killing people and Cliff had to kill his own son. Bad day. He took him over by justice. He volunteered because there was there's an organization called the post-war administration bureau which was around during the war so I don't know why they're the post-war administration bureau but they were trying to experiment with gear technology. They also created the forbidden beasts but they also turned Testament into a gear to try and see if they could make their own gears to fight gears. It didn't work out so well for him. Immediately brainwashed and he had to be killed by Cliff but he's not actually dead. He was the one who started the tournament because he's trying to sacrifice strong fighters to break the seal and bring justice back because justice is guy now. So Cliff is Cliff's in the tournament Sol's in the tournament Kai's in the tournament all the other guys from the first game had them matter only these three matter. So I guess Cliff finds a son and can't fight him or something so somebody fights it depends on who you play as somebody fights Testament and beats him and he's like fuck what if I'm the final sacrifice to break the seal for justice instead why did I waste all my time doing a fucking tournament so he sacrifices himself and revives justice. Justice is back only five years later that's bad. So Cliff shows up on the scene and is like fuck I gotta fight justice again so he tries but he's so fucking old now that he can't even keep up even with his key power so he gets fucking killed by justice this time and Kai is pissed because that was his mentor he brought him into the order so he gets pissed he fights justice and he loses too but he doesn't die because he's important so then Sol bombs in and is like fuck your shit I'm gonna take you down now so they fucking throw down Sol is able to beat justice but during the fight Sol has this like headband thing and it gets broken and during the fight he has a marking on his forehead that is the same symbol that is on justice and it revealed that Sol is a gear himself and justice like what the fuck dude like if you're a gear I should control you why don't you start killing those guys instead he's like I can't because you are the first gear and you can control all gears made after you but I'm the prototype gear Sol bad guy is Frederick from all the way fucking back here and that's why again that yes that's the whole thing Freddie Mercury oh fuck yeah it's totally telegraphed and you missed it shit so Sol bad guy is Frederick so he's been bombing around doing shit this whole time wrecking Batman shit and he comes over to here and he's finally ready to finish the job and kill justice dead as fuck I'm losing my mind dude it's fucking dope and he and he does it so in the first video game in the series there is a comeback for a character that you have no idea who he is correct all of this is not in here except for what I'm saying right now so I guess in the context of Guilty Gear 1 what we would see is there's just a character named Sol who you know is like a rough and tumble guy and then he just is revealed to like have a connection he's even a cooler guy right right so he fucking he's like I so he is he is the prototype gear and he's also the guy who fucking like is partially responsible for this entire fucking thing because his research with that man is what caused this entire catastrophe to happen in the first place and his inability to kill justice back in the day resulted in all this shit happening now so Sol bad guy is the Guilty Gear and that is where because he's the main guy who comes from now you know he's the Guilty Gear and justices justices dying words to Sol is I'm really sad I wish the three of us could have spoken together one last time implying that justice is aria so he just fucking merked his girlfriend who was responsible for all this shit and he swears vengeance on that man that motherfucker and that's the end of Guilty Gear 1 wait wait wait why is he motherfucker because that man turned his girlfriend his dying girlfriend into this monster gear oh justice himself later later on after she died oh like was it like corpse again yeah it's not clear it's not exactly there's a couple retcons that change how exactly it was done what a man what a man you could say he's that man he's that kind of man so you can kind of see he's not exactly not exactly the best guy and that's the end of Guilty Gear 1 Sol's pissed and fucking cliff is dead sad sad times how does my man Kai feel about all this he's kind of pissed because they were rivals during the crusades and stuff and he kept trying to beat Sol just like in duels he's like a sugar he's like a knight it's like Sol I challenge you to do a duel I don't want to kill you but I just want to beat you as a better swordsman he can never do it and I was like fucking that's why Kai must feel like a real asshole losing to justice he's kind of perpetually cocked for most of the series until about here when shit starts getting pretty weird but we'll get to that yeah so that's the end of Guilty Gear 1 anybody are we good we can move on I think I got it Ben why didn't they end it right here while they were at it because actually this is probably the least fun Guilty Gear fighting game they just get better until here and then they kind of just balance out because this is ostensibly the greatest fighting game of all time that's totally my nostalgia talking but I'm going to stand by it anyway I agree it's so it's so good I should never play I only played X X is good this makes everything better everything even the X all of the music it's the same score between X and XX but this one was all done with synthesized instruments they re-record everything with live instruments and it sounds so much juicier to make I hate that fucking soundtrack it sucks dick everyone's like oh Marvel's so good this is way better get out of my get out of my lecture hall oh oh you're skipping demerits I want to take I just I grew up around a bunch of Marvel fags and to this day I have a chip on my shoulder those sprites were bullshit in Marvel they were all pulled from different games they were all pixelated and gross and they looked awful you can come back Marvel vs Capcom yeah Marvel's Capcom like all those sprites were like different resolutions and stretched and oh god I'm going to take you for a write-up of class alright oh no I'm not afraid of student-teacher relationships especially when they're non-consensual then I'm extra confident alright if only one person consents only half the crime has been committed you got it where do we go so wrong alright 2181 settle down class this is important I'm going to take you on a ride here this is a ride this is when shit starts getting really weird this was pretty straightforward compared to everything else we're about to tackle Guilty Gear X so this the story of Guilty Gear X starts in like this small village town in a country munchy Guilty Gear X what happened in 2 through 9 yeah good question you know 2 is right down here uh oh sure is that true yes it's Guilty Gear 1 which is just called Guilty Gear Guilty Gear X Guilty Gear XX Guilty Gear 2 then Guilty Gear XRs so the games are ordered in in chronological order not release order both oh this is the release order and the chronological order what alright it's too normal okay the reason we're going to get to the reason Guilty Gear 2 is called some is 2 because this isn't a fighting game this is a totally different kind of game and it's really bad okay it has like a 4 on Metacritic and with good reason but I had to suffer through the whole thing and pay 25 dollars for it is that why they like went back to X's and so people would know like correct this is tied to the fighting games this is this is gone this is still completely plot that mandatory you will not understand anything here unless you play this which is why I play these two and I was like what the fuck is going on Nate does the XR is that like third like 3rd like 3rd yeah because it was Guilty Gear XXX it would never be able to be sold but finally alright this is called Guilty Gear XXX in Japan but in America's release is Guilty Gear X2 because it was a little too a little too hot for that early 2000s sensibilities right gay panic yeah yeah the one that I had was Guilty Gear X2 number sign hashtag reload yes so you know how the Xbox version of the game it was just like the Xbox release of XXX why would they change the name well here's the thing because I think they added some extra shit to it you know how like there's Street Fighter 2 Super Street Fighter 2 Super Street Fighter 2 Turbo they have this with with both of these games like Guilty Gear gets the first one's Guilty Gear there's a lot of releases there's Guilty Gear XX the midnight carnival that's the first one then it's Guilty Gear XXX Sharp Reload because it's all musical themes so it's like a sharp then it's Guilty Gear XX Accent Core then it's Guilty Gear Access Accent Core Plus and Accent Core Plus adds a whole new story mode and we're going to get to that because I hate that fucking shit yeah it's bad okay but we're still up here in Guilty Gear X1 Guilty Gear technically Guilty Gear X the second it's fucking stupid more video again go now okay so Guilty Gear X starts in a small village town in a country America no more I guess they're just doing their shit and this old couple find a abandoned infant somewhere this is all text log this bear with me so they find this small child and they adopt her as their own and they realize very quickly this girl is not normal because within three years she goes from an infant to a fully grown adult and this is the telltale sign of a gear because gears mature insanely quickly monchi how do you tell her her age you can send whether it's in the middle of the years or for how mature she is well there's a lot of porn in this character there is a ton she is she is the waifu of this game series well just like in real life this is dizzy you just look at a body and you ask yourself if she's asking for it or not that's all you guys do let me put it to you this way a gear is mature at three years old thank you Daisuke just a small question of chronology is it in 2181 where this character is fully grown or are they found here and then in like 2183 she's found three years before okay and you know what gears like to do five die gears like to grow age five what are you talking about that looks stupid yeah that looks like an over designed piece of trash she's like my least favorite character well whatever man she's over designed and that's why all the fucking weebs love her yeah I prefer Bridget it's like the most popular and worst design are you serious about Bridget no okay good I was going to say there's a problem with that I like the girl with the hat May no oh Eno Eno Eno's a babe Munchie I like King Dedede I can do his side be really well I can angle them very nicely I think King Dedede could wreck everybody in this series no problem so yeah that's a good choice got a fucking hammer yeah what do these have fucking morals no shit we're done we're going okay alright go go go okay so she starts aging she's a full grown adult then she sprouts these two wings in a tail and they're like fuck it's a gear shit so they hide her in a forest cause it's like they're still their daughter I guess who's daughter this random old couple that has no bearing on the story what sort of other than framing the plot of Guilty Gear X they just found her they just found her she's very loose so they find her they hide her in a forest yeah yeah yeah you disgust me digi loose is 3 year old I ever saw that I would think that shut the fuck up I think her story is probably a reference to like the tale of Princess Kaguya the classic Japanese folktale that's way more interesting than what I would say it is if you're not seen you don't know anything about that you uncultured fucking swine anyway so they hide her away in this grove but eventually word gets out that she's there and she's another commander gear like justice which is bad news so she can not only is she a commander gear she can command other gears but she has the weird ability to be able to revive downed gears so she can resurrect all the corpses they're just kind of hanging around that we haven't taken care of yet because it's only been a couple of years that's a lot of shit to get through was justice the only commander gear before? as far as we know as far as we know, yes don't give it to don't fucking giggling like that give me that fucking microphone don't oh no oh shit god damn it if she can revive downed gears can she care my down syndrome that's not where alright there you go no no one no one can cure that alright, well um I think anyone can get your hands on her at this point the man who wrote I'm gay on his thighs is asking so that he could read it the difference between Nate on like being the professor and being the student is so bad I'm not gay yeah it's bad I apologize demerit just warranted yeah so fucking they find that dizzy is this commander gear who can revive downed gears big fucking problem UN's like $500,000 bounty on her head that'll take care of her right quick and it's pretty low but then again this is probably this is a rebounding economy for sure when you think about it this is $21.81 money $21.81 this is $21.81 money inflation is there really if like all of Europe is gone there had the Dow had to crash like at least 10 points so that's the bounty yep he did it guys yes I don't know how they figure out how she has these abilities she's kind of hiding in a forest somewhere one of those interesting dice-gay logic things so that's what happens all these fucking bounty hunters just dog pile on what used to be America trying to track this bitch down um and so of course Kai member of the international police force he kind of has to go in there and clean shit up and then Sol's like money yes please so he ends up there too and then all the other characters from the game they go there for their own stupid bullshit reasons that don't matter to Canada at all with a couple exceptions that I'm not going to ignore munchy real question not a joke meme so these are like fighting games right correct so like how is this Lord Spence okay so in Guilty Gear X you get little text kind of things at the end of the like you fight eight guys and then it gives you a couple sentences and that's their story and then the rest is all in wikis and like expanded and like well where's the wiki get yeah yeah I was about there's like 20 drama CDs two novels oh an entire comic there's a lot of supplementary material that fleshes a lot of this out I've done a lot of ground work here oh okay so normally like like you have like you know like a main series and you have like supplementary canonical materials that's just like for the fans yeah so basically in the Guilty Gear games there is no real story just kind of a bunch of bullshit not until this point where we start getting story but unfortunately they can't tell stories as we'll find out and the thing about Guilty Gear's story like especially X2 you'll play through story mode and every few matches oh we'll get there whoever you're fighting will have a dialogue with you yeah they speak in strange like almost riddle text and they all just reference this story as though you know what's going on but it is never explained to you so every time you watch a cutscene you're literally just sitting there like what is fucking going on because in Guilty Gear Double X they talk about that man and justice and all this shit all the time all the time and if I didn't tell you you'd be like who the fuck is that man I literally have played like hundreds of hours of Guilty Gear X2 and did not know who that man is I honestly this was the only game I played like basically broke forth my way into understanding this I just played it so much I started putting things together and it was really stupid but yeah so so everyone's trying to kill Dizzy to get their money because that's just how we roll and so I guess you know again depending on which character you play shenanigans happen anybody in the cast can fight Dizzy but canonically it's Sol and Kai you end up there because they're the only boys that matter so Kai gets there first fights her and loses again he's like the Vegeta of this series really he's like a Vegeta was a nice guy and like gayer that's pretty much who Kai is so then Sol bombs in and fights but the thing is is that Dizzy is being guarded by testament the guy who ran the first Guilty Gear tournament who should have been killed there who should have been killed here somehow he's dodged death twice and has not been explained why but he's alive again and he's protecting Dizzy because she's a commander for her because he fucked up up here munchy oh yeah again because these are fine games they're more than two playable characters right there's like a whole roster there's I think there's somewhere around 20 and then there's like 25 here are any of them cool well first of all are they cool second of all do they matter they are all yes and yes yeah they do matter there's a lot of stuff there's a lot of supplementary B stories that I've cut from all this already only a few of them really matter for the main stuff we're talking about here right by the time you get around we do matter a little bit more but no no not for the most part there is a guy named Faust who's pretty cool he's like a nine foot tall super lanky guy who wears a paper bag on his head wields a giant scalpel and his special ability is to shove his fingers up your ass sounds like that's just why I do ever choose him he's pretty he's pretty cool so yeah the big selling point besides like just having the best soundtrack of any game ever made in history characters are fucking insane like Sol and Kai they're normal boys they're just guys with swords like everything there's like vampires there's a guy who controls the shadows a girl who controls his hair there's Faust there's Bridget which is like this like a little nun girl who's actually a boy and you don't know and it's not really told that's interesting Ben I'm just I'm sorry to divert for a second I'm curious like how many of us have played guilty here I was wondering I'm curious like who everyone's Kai and Milia and Faust okay I'm just curious Tom are you going to talk about Chip as a noof at all in this lecture um I might touch on him a tiny bit in Revelator if so then can I just tell him why he's cool yeah go for it it's just okay so here you've got an American boy who is on like the mean street say no more like I don't know he is the best he's fucking great he was I think was adopted by some Japanese couples and as we know the Japanese people are like super gods he is cannot the biggest weave in the world he grows up like all his attacks are based on Japanese shit even though he is not Japanese himself he is pretty much a total poser and later on he goes to run for president of the United States of America which I believe he wins he actually starts his own country he starts his own country and but he still runs for election of his own country alright so he's called it's called like the chip like the eastern chip kingdom and like his like you always like why are you you're elected president it's not a kingdom it's like but it sounds cooler and that's just the end of the discussion he is my favorite he's also he used to be a drug actor and he became a ninja but he's he has a mentor who taught him how to be a ninja and the way his training was that this was in a novel there's a whole novel about chip which I want to read because he's the coolest guy and like his training was just like very stupid fast yeah I feel that he did mention that these games have a strong sense of humor and a lot of the side characters are like their stories are a lot more goofy or just like fun and whimsical there's one girl who may who just carries a gigantic fucking anchor that she fights with she's like this tiny little girl in a pirate hat who carries a giant anchor and she like lives on a pirate ship a flying pirate ship the jellyfish pirates is like with almost all girls as the crew and it's they're all literally is that pirate crew just is like a cute girls yuri bait anime that is just in the background well it's actually it's kind of a harem because johnny's the captain and he's just this 20 year old guy that doesn't wear a shirt and he's a super badass he's also American and he's voiced by Norio Wakamoto who's a 70 something year old Japanese man he's super fucking cool and all there's like all the members of the jellyfish pirates named after a month of the year so there's yeah yeah and the reason he definitely fucks and the reason I think may fucks all those other girls too I think they there's a lot of there's a lot of like yuri goggles going on with may and all those fucking girls may be april may be april and may are fucking johnny is sexy submissive sluts pretty much it's just really like when they show up you feel like some anime about these characters has just landed in guilty gear and a lot of the side characters are like that you have to johnny wears this big long black trench coat he wears like a black hat he has sunglasses on kind of like nates but all black no shirt fucking abs for days and just walk and he's like a fucking like long sword he just fucks people up it's kind of a wooden sword it's like a cane sword he uses it it's a certain he does you can toss coins at people and that like amplifies your sword strikes and it's pretty cool he's fun to play as a lot of cool characters though yeah this is like I could do a whole other lecture just on the characters I play a slayer slayer's dope he's a vampire he's a vampire he's a very charismatic vampire who very classy he always shows up with like some chick on his arm he'll just like drain to nothing yeah the first thing he does every match is he sucks the blood I have his wife he uses away her empty corpse and then starts fucking you up she's immortal so it's good yeah she's fine she survives every match he's the coolest character he just fights with his bare hands he's a vampire doesn't need weapons we're totally getting off the plot but that's fine I'm just curious are we going to talk at all during the vampires by the way oh I was just going to say are we going to talk about that's why are we going to talk about the interconnectivity with blaze blue at all no can I to answer that question as I understand I have a chip I'm not sure about blaze blue as well interesting I could be wrong about this but I believe that vampires in the guilty-gill world are a literal like higher being from a higher plane of existence that's kind of how they're implied to be right and and if you remember Rachel Alucard is the vampire in blaze blue it is implied that she and Slayer are from the same place and that they just have come down to two different worlds one of guilty gear and one of blaze blue yeah there is some like I believe that's the connection implied connections but I don't know I was super mad when blaze blue came out because I thought it was in guilty gear and for like for like the better part of a decade it did so I refused to play it out of just spite and then when they had and it was funny because like XR came out in 2014 and in 2013 the first trailer came out and I was talking to my friend who was like a big fighting game buff and I was just talking about guilty gear I was like I really wish I'd make another guilty gear game and he's like oh they are like I don't care about like accent core double plus fagotry I mean like a real game he's like no they are and then I we were all on a call on Skype and I watched the trailer and started crying on call because it was the greatest thing I'd ever seen in my life how long was the gap between like real releases like ten years or something well double X came out double X came out first I believe in 2002 XR came out in 2014 so there was a bunch of like subsequent releases there's also guilty gear too but fuck that game because it doesn't matter but granted there were like like seven a bajillion re-releases of double X but that doesn't count you know with story alterations yeah okay so what about this gay story we were talking about so did they they were fighting Dizzy I believe yes so testament was there guarding her they have to beat him up first they beat the shit out of testament again then they fight Dizzy and for some reason Dizzy is a commander gear but she's a pacifist she's a little girl she's been raised by nice old people she doesn't want to fuck up humans at all she's a nice girl she's cool she's nice she's cute she's a waifu she doesn't want to do anything she just wants to be left alone and so even she ends up having to fight soul anyway for like self defense and he's just like you know what fine you're not a threat I won't kill you and he's like Kai you deal with her and he just bombs out and so Kai's like fuck I don't want to kill her either cause I'm a nice guy I'm a good just guy so he decides to have her go with johnny and the jellyfish pirates why you would leave a three year old underdeveloped woman with a womanized with a man who fucks yeah it's an interesting choice to say the least but that's who he decides to leave her in the custody of and then he gets hurt dizzy as dead and jam carato berry this random like chinese key user who like wants to open a restaurant she gets she's credited with killing dizzy and she uses the money to open up her new restaurant oh yeah that's the coolest shit this entire fucking series so far she's pretty cool jam is awesome she's also super hot no I want to note that the reasoning why Kai left her you gotta think about it Kai Keisuke probably first of all doesn't know anything about sex no and second of all probably just thought well there's lots of girls there so it must be a great place for girls I mean I wouldn't even put it past him we joke but johnny's a good man no he's he honestly like you can joke about him the fucking but he really sees the crew as his daughters then his sluts especially may but he does cause the sex is submissive sluts those are not mutually exclusive guys you know it's true you gotta repopulate yeah so that's the end of guiltier x that's how it kind of wraps up in a nice pretty bow then we get to 2181 again cause this takes place less than a year after guiltier x it's guiltier double x I don't know this game is fucking confusing as shit and the reason is that up until guiltier 1 guiltier 2 all this shit it's like a straight line right it's just like technology gets fucked we make robots we fight the robots we beat the robots we beat the robots again we beat the robots again we beat the robots again pretty simple this there are between guiltier double x and accent core plus they have a an actual story mode with branching paths for each character and there are over 500 scenarios and only less than a third of those are canon what okay yeah so does second thing what the fuck happens in this game is a titanic undertaking munchy wait so i'm confused on some basic point sure you keep gears are monsters or are they robots they're they're basically they're like they're technologically bioengineered organisms well but the robot sounds funny they're just like genetically modified shit they're not actually robots this is the funny word this is like gmo's gone too far dude okay okay now i can cool okay yeah so a lot of shit happens in double x there's really to even it's kind of i'm gonna get like crucified for saying this cause like somebody out there you who's watching it right now who's already has like a paragraph long comment about all the little things i've left out from here you're gonna like eviscerate me for saying this right now but this game is kind of a nothing burger there's a lot of things that are established and there's a couple little good bits but there's just a lot of fluff in this game there's a lot of things that happen that are that it develops it establishes the post war administration bureau which is like guilty gears of luminati like because this is the first game that has an actual story mode all this was like arcade mode and like subsequent releases and supplemental content this game has a dedicated story mode and in each story mode when you pick a character it's like a dossier on that character from the post war administration bureau which is like the big bad of this game they're spying like again they're the ones who develop the forbidden beasts and turn testament into a gear so they're already pretty hot shit but they just want to control stuff and like that's kind of the theme for the rest of these games is there's another thing that wants to control everything and we keep going up the chain so the post war administration bureau is established here they're the first big bads and they have some weird ideas like the forbidden beasts are already kind of a shitty idea like let's just make a parasite in guilds of gear double x for some reason they say hey kai kisk is a pretty good fighter what if you just made a bunch of robot duplicates of him oh robo kai so robo kai comes in from that's where he comes from he's a he's a creation of the post war administration bureau they're trying to make an army based on kai cause he's pretty strong Ben why not make an army of souls cause soul is demonstrably better I don't know that's a good question I just have less information on him cause kai was like deeply embedded in the system all those yeah I mean he's already been part of the international police force or ever a big part of kai's story it's like why are there robot me's running around and a bunch of other characters are just like hey you just stole from my restaurant man it's like no I'm not a robot yeah worth mentioning that's like some of the character motivations in this game are as simple as like literally like jam jam who is someone trashed my restaurant and therefore I must fight a thousand powerful people in order to find that it was pretty much exclusively my restaurant got fucked and I'm gonna fuck up the person responsible or like some I think in sort of it's like like someone's like flirting with her waitress and being an asshole and that's why she just like starts kicking ass pretty much there's a lot of great like sillys going on outside the main plot which would probably all these others are fucking government that's yeah exactly is an entrepreneur business woman that's why she's I mean jam jam art of the dress art of the dress art of the dress um shit okay so yeah the post war administration bureau does that and then in accent core plus which is the where they add another story mode their motivation there's actually a guy on screen who's actually interacting with the characters now his name's Crow he's kind of a weird ugly looking guy and he just decided to make some weaker robot clones of justice for everybody to fight it's just an excuse to have justice's sprite be part of the story now um and everybody beats him up so they're bad guys they're trying to like do bad things and they're watching you while you fap that's the post war administration bureau the other big thing that happens in double X is that Eno is introduced in the game probably she's also the final boss of all the arcade mode and the story modes for the most part and she's a servant of that man we don't know anything really about her we don't even know if she's human we don't know what she is she apparently has time travel powers which I guess non-canonically she accidentally extended the crusades 10 years in an ultimate timeline and then that man's like fixed that shit she's like okay and goes back and unfx pucks that up then I may have missed something but that man is still alive oh he is I don't know he's very old at least I guess there is a point we'll get to it I guess we never established that gears live that long gears do not die they are undying they can live forever pay attention I mean when you think about soul was already an adult in 2014 and now we're all the way over here and he's still bombing around riveted and he's also like way buffer than he used to be soul is? soul got swole like swole? yeah exactly I just said that well you know so it was yeah they around forever we don't know what the fuck's going on with you know but she just goes around and fucks everyone shit up and like the most like big deals like the most menial shit like bridge it she's just like hey little boy you want to be a bounty hunter here's a list of bounties that are all fake so you can just fuck with all the other characters in the game because I want to Nate well I've got a chance to ask what's the deal with Potemkin oh Potemkin he was a slave in an aerial city called Zep and so Zep maybe whatever the whole all of the everything's a big melting pot now because all the traditional nations kind of got mixed together in this big calamity so everybody's kind of everywhere now it's a liberal cuck's dream at this point but yeah Potemkin he was a slave in this aerial city called Zep and Zep they broke away from the united nations all the way back here when magic started being a thing they were like fuck you fucking them so they made their whole own country that just really advanced regular technology so there's a civilization that actually rejected the entire rejection of technology yes so there's a big floating city that's like fucking massive like a country-size floating city going around called Zep do they have issues with that alien force that was trying to like take over the technology that was the reason they not clear they don't go clear not a lot is known about the crusades in general other than what I said here Digi outside of having caused everything is that does that life form coming through technology ever come up again yes we'll get to it yeah is that all there is to say about Potemkin he just he works for well he's he was a slave it's because Zep was established to reject magic but eventually like their society went into it anyway and it turned into like it's really bad like dystopian like aristocracy and he was raised as a slave in Zep and then eventually this guy named Gabriel is like fuck that this is bullshit magic's bad look what it did to our country so he starts an insurrection against the aristocracy of Zep and Potemkin is like his right hand man he like frees Potemkin like Potemkin you don't for anybody I'm a man yeah and it's canon that he has a genetic disorder that makes him just super swole and like his because he has these little tiny stub legs and just like a hulk top body so he helps Gabriel overthrow the government and they establish a new republic that's based solely on technology and now he's just Gabriel's buddy and they go around and they do their shit that's Potemkin and takes off with a big nose that's Gabriel he gets a whole fight scene in XR and fuck shit up he's like super powerful yeah so that's Potemkin I don't know what we're talking about double X yeah Eno she's a real bitch she's a total con she hates everybody and she just fucks everything up she's the final boss she's super broken but fortunately it was kind of okay with it because every time she turns around and takes her shirt off you can kind of see a side boob that I was getting my ass handed to me constantly that was kind of cool but she's a servant of that man and her kind of motivation is that all of these people are opposing that man so I'm just going to go down here and we're going to fuck them up because if I get rid of them then that man's shit's going to go better and eventually soul beats Eno because she fucks everybody but she specifically hates soul because soul specifically hates that that man is the bad guy yes, he's the gear maker he's the guy who started the Crusades made justice and used to be soul's friend when he was Frederick is he part of the secret Illuminati thing? he is not part of the post-war administration bureau he has his own gang of dudes who are doing their own shit and we still don't know what the fuck they're doing at this point we're going to get to them down here I know it's a lot there's a reason I literally have done nothing for the last three weeks but just go through total cunt fucks shit up soul beats her up and then that man bombs in it's like the first canonical appearance of that man ever is in double X and he just kind of appears he's like this guy in these big fucking robes you can't see his face and he's like Eno you dumb bitch I am controlling everything that's happening right now all of them were doing exactly what I wanted and you fucked it up go in the corner and he gets mad and she's like okay and he's just like yes, Nate you know what I'm sorry okay well so they fight sort of you don't fight that man but they fight in a cutscene and the cutscene is just like literally two pictures standing there and text boxes going around so there's some cool little sound effects like twing twing and like oh they're fighting yes so that happens so remember soul beat dizzy beat justice killed gears for fun for like a hundred years can't even touch so can't even touch him and he's like fuck I hate you he's like yo soul there's something coming there's a really big calamity coming that's going to make the crusade seem like a distant memory in comparison when the time comes I'm going to need your help on this and he's just like get fucked he's like okay bye and that's kind of what happens in double x that's the that man is kind of established here to be a bit more of a round character than just like I'm evil and I made robots there's something going on with that man there's more to him I fuck up shit for fun he has some sort of like greater goal that we don't really understand yet and that's kind of like one of the big things about double x we learn more about that man and what his motivations are just just a little taste enough to kind of say okay there's something going on here gib so you said there was like a lot of endings or like special story there's a ton and that one is like the main one that is the canon one because they reference it later so the way the endings are determined is that there are certain conditions you have to meet in certain matches that it doesn't tell you about you just kind of accidentally stumble into these so like if you kill someone within 30 seconds you unlock the other ending just by happening so you're just going to have to play it like 10 billion times 26 times over because there's 26 characters and just hope you kind of stumble upon the right conditions because there is no wiki I looked it up it's not there if it is it's in Japanese or something because I can't fucking double X empty empty nothing how can this be there are like there are small little character entries there are little character entries for each character what happens to them because that's the easy thing to do you just copy what it says but in terms of like breaking down what happened into the game nothing the wiki gives up around here I had to do a lot of fucking work okay this is serious did you yeah I was just going to say that like generally in fighting games usually like all the characters have their own ending but which one is canon is not really clear until the next game right when they just kind of say like you just see what the story of the next game is and you go oh I guess that was canon to that guy's ending it's just usually the main characters yeah I mean I just I was just looking at Sol and Kai for the most part because they kind of guide the majority of the story yeah so that's kind of really what happens in double X it establishes more about that man and implies that there's some big stuff that he knows about that's he's kind of guiding behind the scenes to make everybody prepared for that Eno's introduced and she's fucking hot and the post-war administration bureau is really dumb and they have bad ideas yeah there you go okay 2186 five years later the baptism of 13 event aka the events of guilty gear 2 overture this is the first non-fighting game in the series and it's really fucking weird it's kind of like if you took something like a dynasty warriors like a third person kind of action game where you have to run around a big map and like accomplish things but also like put a little bit of like Dota in it because you have like summon minions and you have to control like control points on the map it's a horrible system and I hate it it has a little bit of a following but it was kind of also designed to be a multiplayer game so a lot of the stuff was like designed to be played online but there is a story about the actual animated cutscene so I could actually to understand this game I could actually just sit down and play a video game it was fucking amazing so this game has more story but this is also when you realize that dice game writing is not as strong soon this is all really this is some interesting shit that goes down in here and it's very dense and hard to kind of pull this one I'm gonna try and go through this pretty quickly okay so yeah this is the black sheep of the series it takes like 5 years after double x so a lot of shit has happened I don't know why this didn't happen sooner but in double x there is in guilds gear 2 they introduced something called the united kingdom of alleria so I guess from here here all the way to here Europe has just been fucked and nobody bothered to do anything about it it's just like this big melting pot of like crazy shit and the only nations that are still established are France and England everything else is destroyed and fucked up bad so the united nations is like maybe we should get on like fixing this so they create the united kingdom of alleria it's three they divide all of Europe in a bit of asia I think it's a three big nation states and they're each ruled by a king and then the high king rules the rest of them and the whole nation kind of reports the UN so that kind of like solves like oh we have like a government and like a fucking like social structure again like you miss that and like that's nice to have and so there are three kings there's daryl there's leo daryl he's kind of a dick he'll come into play down here we don't know about daryl at this point but I just figured a little bit of this is out of order just to make it make more sense instead of like finding out here so I said fuck it we'll just put it there so daryl is one of the kings leo white fangs the second king and then the number one head honcho king is kai kisk he moves up from the head of the international police force now the king of alleria and yeah he's he's he's he's earned his spot man he's done his homework when did this game come out it was originally for the 360 which makes no fucking sense because this was all sony exclusive up to here except for well the sharp reload on the no that was on the xbox but that also came out on ps2 and arcade it wasn't exclusively I think it was exclusively in the us that it only came out it was it only on 360 or has it been imported anywhere it was ported to windows thank god because I needed to play it and it was the worst $25 I ever spent that's not true but it earned its five let's put it that way kai is now the king he's the king kai but not that king kai pretty pretty cool um so that that's how the that's all you need to know about that so it starts in the kingdom of alleria kai's already king all that's just happened in between here and the corpses of sealed gears start disappearing just like not just like poop they're gone but just like slowly sort of fade out of existence and just go away what the fuck's going on that's kind of weird and so they tell kai about it and they're just like yeah that's kind of weird but like who cares the gears going away sounds like a good plan to me and he's like no that's kind of fucked up I'm sorry to go back but I'm really stuck on how exactly did kai become king from being a police officer what mechanism was used to do that it's did that kingdom exist before oh I'm sorry yeah the question was how the fuck is kai actually king for being it's not a hundred percent clear because if we don't know well I can go into it a little bit there's there's a bunch of things that were referred to in the wiki as the guilty gear overture shorts I'm assuming there's like some sort of supplementary material that takes place between double x and guilty gear 2 that goes into it it's implied I can't go into too much because it's going to get cleared up a little bit later in the story but he was pressured by the UN to take the position even though he did not want it if you don't want this to get publiced you're going to be our bitch so someone with authority correct wanted him to be king yes he's a plant essentially he doesn't really want to be there but he's trying to be a good boy despite it munchy the reason he's king is because he's like a fan favorite and people like him and so him being an important role in this story it would make people like it I don't think that's true kai's not exactly like a huge fan favorite I mean I hate kai he was kind of canonically like at 16 the leader of the biggest organization in the world at the time he is one of the strongest humans it's not as though he hasn't done this before ever he's a he's good kai kind of strikes me as like the ride-in to soul's snake a little bit he is pretty gay he is pretty gay his hobby is collecting tea cups canonically that really that really says all you need to know I like him even more so much more his hobby was collecting tea cups as well that's how he got the hobby do they bond over he taught him I guess so he also taught him how to use swords so I guess like they can't be too gay unless they swords I don't know who knows but yeah so he's he's the king he's like shit the gears are disappearing this is bad he's very concerned about the fact that the gears are disappearing like more so than he probably should be which are my just like what's going on here but he's like no you fucks going on you keep me updated motherfucker he wants that shit soft stat before anyone can even do that though the castle is attacked by an unknown army I'm like oh shit okay let's go fight the army so they go out there and start fighting these guys but for some reason they're immune to their magic so they can't really hurt them so they're getting fucking steam rolled and so Kai's like alright shit we need Sol's help go find Sol he sends one of his dudes off to like do that do you have a question no okay I'm getting paranoid when shit's really gonna start getting dense so okay so we cut to Sol bombing around but he's not alone anymore he has this weird dude with him named Sin not that Jack is Sin yes so not that Sin his name is Sin he's this weird kind of flamboyant looking guy who has a flag for a weapon there's a canonical reason for that but like I guess he's traveling around with Sol he's like a childish kind of stupid doofy kind of guy which is very weird that Sol like the loner dude would be walking around with him but they're traveling together they don't explain why in the beginning we'll get to it and they get attacked by the same army that was attacking Illyria and they're like fuck we gotta fight them so they start fighting but they can't hurt them either Monchi what is the canonical reason for him fighting with a flag I like flags tell me about the flag now okay well okay the canonical reason is that Sol has been raising sin ever since he was a little kid and isn't it like five years since the last game we're gonna get to it this is why I wasn't gonna say it now he's been raising Sol raising him every since he was a little kid he wanted to learn how to use a Sol use a sword and Sol said no like he's like what should I use just a flag or something fuck you and he's like okay so he actually just started fighting with a flag he took it literally and now he fights with a flag that's why yeah that's it so they're traveling together and they get attacked by the the visual army is what they're called and they are immune to magic their normal attacks don't work and all of a sudden they start hearing a voice in their head saying no your magic's not gonna work you need to use this new kind of magic boom and then Sol magically learns a new kind of magic that breaks the laws of magical theory like he does not key it's different than key Monchi so not like as like a new spell new types of magic yes so what this is it's hard because they're establishing gameplay mechanics right using story so he can summon servants which are the little units you use because this is like a strategy game too so you can summon these servants to do your fighting for you on top of you just running around with your sword so but in order to establish this gameplay mechanic he learns a new kind of magic that breaks the laws of magic the science of magical theory is broken but he recognizes the kind of magic even though it's unknown okay yeah this is why dice he can't write we're already off to a bad start Monchi so what is the fucking use of the the science magic place if it keeps getting broken and all the rules don't matter and never make any sense because for the normal average everyday person the rules probably are fine but this is Sol motherfucking bad guy he's the top he's the head honcho that's like asking what use are Newtonian physics when we have this advanced you know relativistic system of physics for fucking chumps like you and me the theory of magical science is fine okay we're solid okay alright so he learns how to summon these things and then for some reason and I don't know if this is actually happening in the game or if it's just a mechanic of the gameplay itself his soul Sol's soul is now in this big thing behind him called a master ghost that's a master ghost he's in the ghost his soul is in the ghost it's kind of the soul body though deep ground master ghost deep ground master ghost deep ground master ghost deep ground master ghost yeah so basically you know how in like League of Legends you have a base you destroy the base you lose that's what a master ghost is okay but your soul is in the master ghost so wait I don't I don't know if that answered my question if if the soul is in the ghost what is if not a soul it's literally just a structure but they call them a master ghost well that's just a master ghost why would you choose to call it that I know but all the little like pillars that spawn your your servants are called just regular ghosts it's called ghosts is his soul's it's wait where is Sol's is Sol Sol's still a robot soul he's he's what is it here is this like a ghost of the machine in the machine of the ghost in the machine yes wait you're right yeah okay why not have a soul you control Sol's body right the reason the reason this is this is just a way to establish that if you I think of the furious why is it just you run around in the game and you fight like a dynasty war is kind of thing if you die in the game you run at your master ghost because the master ghost has your soul your actual life force but if the master ghost destroyed you lose the game and they're doing all the stupid bullshit magic phagotry to justify in canon why all this is happening I just feel like it there were a lot of ways they could have done this story without removing the soul of the main character and putting it somewhere and inventing a new type of magic they actually do need the new type of magic no they don't you're lying to yourself it's very plot important to everything after this unfortunately I really hate to be the bear of bad news okay do you remember when I like disappeared for like three last three days I've been doing this shit been parsing all this okay I trust you so soul's like okay I know this new kind of magic now I have these servants I can fight these guys I can do damage to them they fight, they win and then this literal the guy who's talking their heads teaching you the tutorial about this new kind of magic appears and he is a literal samurai furry named Izuna whoa yes hold my eye though for what purpose okay in-suit or out-of-suit in-suit he's he's he's I guess kind of out-of-suit he's like out-of-suit but he has like like animal Izuna Izuna Izuna yes immediately yeah I've been looking up characters this whole time this is why I wanted the green screen so I could just start throwing all the shit in here as I go along it's crazy oh my god he's a furry he's okay that's fucking gross it's reverse it's reverse in Miyashita it's pretty disgusting I don't like Izuna at all design wise but he's one of the main characters in this game and he says that he himself the magic soul just used and the Visio army are all from a place called the back yard okay okay acceptable the world's back yard sort of actually we are the back yard of the back yard technically what do you mean by that explain yourself this is why I have extensive notes on this I had to stop everything and explain what the back yard is because the back yard is important for literally everything else going forward what is the back yard Jesse what is guilty gear gay shit munchie is their back yard fun is their fun in the back yard well they're gonna have some fun in the back yard for sure okay just to let you know my first bullet point on what is the back yard is this is where shit gets really fucked the back yard no we're not even close the back yard is a superior dimension to art well by whose standard is it where vampires come from no possibly okay not clear it's a superior dimension I will explain why it is a superior dimension in a second it is the source of all magic in our reality or at least it contains a specific ingredient that makes magic work and the reason it is a superior dimension is because we are basically a subset of the back yard our entire world's existence is dependent upon the existence of the back yard if the back yard is destroyed we are instantly wiped out of all existence okay so it is literally like one order of magnitude higher ranking yes it is literally a superior dimension since the back yard what the fuck no no snacks in class I'm paying you for this you got to eat your greens you got to eat your greens like right down the middle of the prep students okay oh god we always have the mic I know I really need to give it back to the good boys for a bit okay so however because the back yard is a higher plane of existence magic can exist there that breaks the science of the magic theory of science because it's no longer bound by the limitations of our lesser world it is not where the apostles come from no why I don't I don't know it would make a lot of sense it would but they're not from there okay so that's the back yard they're all Izuna's from there he's like not from our kind of reality he's a higher plane guy and he can do these crazy magic things and he just taught so how to do it because you can learn how to use the magic of the back yard it just doesn't make any sense based on observable phenomenon in our reality but you can use it in our reality pretty fucked right awesome so that's how he's able to do all this crazy shit and the army he just fought were the servants of somebody else and that's who's attacking Illyria and so Izuna bombs in he's like yo your buddy is getting fucked you might want to go help him out so they're like okay so they go and do that and they go to Illyria castle and once they're there they find this girl named Valentine and she is the master of the fuck out when he sees her and it's not made clear at the beginning why but her appearance takes him aback and he's like this girl is really powerful shit so they fight there's just an excuse to have another level where you just fight this girl and you win but she's like really bored she's like you're not good enough with this magic you fucking like beginner bye and just kind of leaves I need to go find the key the key is more important than you instead and they get they get to the castle and the castle is fucking in ruins there's corpses everywhere everyone's dead and Kai is like frozen like this inside like a ceiling spell and they can't wake him up so they're like fuck we need to save Kai we don't know how to do it but then a dude named Raven shows up and Raven is one of the servants of that man so they immediately think that man is responsible and soul goes apeshit on him and it's just an excuse to have a boss battle it barely matters and Raven is like fuck you know how to use the magic of the backyard now now you're important I want to kill you but I can't and he leaves and then they're like okay shit we can't get Kai out of here what do we do we need to go figure out how to break the seal we need to go kill Valentine because it's her seal if we can kill her her magic will be dispelled and we can solve this and Izuna tells them that her her army shows up wherever there are gears because she's the one who's been making all the gears disappear so somehow they have the ability to track where gears are without having to actually physically see them and that's apparently a problem so they're like shit that's bad I needed water really badly for myself right now oh god so why is any of this happening why are the gears disappearing it's Daisuke apparently this was his original concept for a guilty gear from what I read and I think it was technological limitations that made it become a fighting game and thank god for PS1 is all I have to say I don't know if that's true I remember reading that on the forum years ago like when the gears disappear where do they go and for what purpose we will get to that that is plot specific I would not if there was a point that I was going to say that isn't explained I will explicitly say this is never explained as soon as I'm done with it I will not leave you hanging okay so they go they try and find Valentine to kill her to free Kai they fight her again Sol's already a fucking god using this magic now he's way stronger and is actually able to injure Valentine really bad and she's like shit fuck oh you're strong now I made a mistake and then looks at Sin the guy with the flag that he's traveling he's like we made a mistake Sin I like you and then she disappears and he's just like what the fuck did she like like like is this bitch hitting on me like that's weird that's a weird moment to do that she's kind of a little taken aback by that but she disappears and they're like well we weren't able to kill Valentine we still into free Kai and as soon as like I conveniently know this really smart dude who's a powerful mage let's go find him and maybe he can break the seal so they go to do that and they go to an island called Ganymede and they meet Dr. Paradigm who is this weird lizard dragon kind of dude with big nerdy spectacles and like a graduate hat on and he floats around in a big bubble of water because he lives in water but he wants to be on land and do stuff and he is a gear and he's a peaceful gear and this entire island of Ganymede is where all these non-humanoid gears who kept their sense of self after the war hit away so they wouldn't get fucked with by humanity because they have no ill will towards them they're just like we just want to do our shit and he's like a super smart guy who's the leader of Ganymede Munchie what the fucks with all the furries I feel like something happened to Daisuke between here and here no yeah now what I want I really I hate to be the bearer of bad news but by the time you get here this goes full anime fuck yeah the exact opposite of my quality like here this was like very loosely anime aesthetic and it just keeps getting deeper and deeper and by the time you're here it's just like modern anime aesthetic fuck yeah so okay why didn't they stop with one like they said well then you played X you played the second one that's so I wish I had give up my experience to make for the world a better place so they show up the soul is pissed off at paradigm because he's a gear and he wants to kill all gears it's kind of a shtick and paradigm gets pissed off literally because soul refuses to refer to him as a dragon and calls him a parrot over and over again he thinks he looks like a parrot and he takes deep offense to this and it's a running joke that lasts for the rest of the series everyone calls him a bird or something and he gets really pissed about it retarded I'm just I'm just I don't shoot the messenger man I'm just so they have a fight and it's just it's just an excuse to pad out the game totally unnecessary because they immediately just stop and keep having the conversation after this short exchange totally pointless this game is terrible so paradigm talks about the backyard he's like I've been to the backyard the backyard's real it's fucked up and because the backyard is a superior dimension to ours if you're in the backyard and you can survive in there and you can learn about backyard magic you can literally change anything in reality to whatever you want you become god essentially and he's like there is an artificial construct in there that is made by that man so that man is in the backyard fucking shit up we need to stop him and so they come to the conclusion that Valentine is another servant of that man and they're working together to get all these gears because I guess he says that gear cells contain the key to enter the backyard that's why he was able to go in there because that man knew about the backyard all the way back here and put that into the gear cells to come into play here wait wait wait so at this point we're learning that that man oh yeah right so at this point we're now learning that that man at some point in the timeline figured out that he would need to create gear cells so that he could use them to access the backyard so that he could manipulate causality at this point he knew about all of this he already knew this back at the beginning of everything all of this he is so fucking woke that he knew did he know the future as well that was going to happen I don't think he knew the future but he knew all of the scientific and magical concept in the entirety of Guilds Gear that man has known these things that like he worked with with freddy aka soul back in the day we'll find out well I'm sure I will explain it I'll just ask it we don't we will get there okay and if you still have any questions when we get down to the end there will be a Q&A session and I'll do my best I'll do my best to try and understand the mind of this this mad man Monchi man what's with all this fucking Japanese bullshit fucking anime fucking goes for the like there's another universe and it's so powerful and you can become god and nothing matters it just feels so nihilistic fucking popcorn nihilists yeah Monchi if you were Japanese would you want to think that this world was the only world you have a tiny dick for life there has to be something more it's always like there's always weird after life death bullshit and there's always just like you gotta save the not the entire world all realities it's fucking you're not you're not respecting their culture right now it sucks guilty gear sucks violent fantasy sucks your heart sucks that's my world I wanna watch a slice of life I wanna watch too many pinkie pies put on too many pinkie pies right now that episode sucked ass no I mean no okay okay let's not debate that alright what the fuck's even going on where was I oh the paradigm's like yeah that man knows everything right that man knows everything yeah that's pretty much what you need to know about this I'm sorry I have just one question please please please if he if I slaved over this you have to as well if that man has access to the backyard and can like manipulate things the way he wants them to go there's some sort of construct that is referred to as the cube because this actually is just a cube with really fucking cool sitials all over it and he made it that he made in the backyard with that level of knowledge and control why is it that anyone can do anything to opposites it can literally control like any point in time okay alright is it a game cube is it a Nintendo game cube I mean the game cube was pretty lit maybe that's where it came from oh fuck I'd accept that head cannon accepted done Jesse fuck that was from here to here that was what I was saying every 15 or so seconds Monchi fuck agreed that's my boy oh god here we go okay so they're like the cube it's bad that man he's got this shit we need to stop him and then the Visio army tracked them to Ganymede and attacks Ganymede so this time instead of fighting each other Seoul and Paradigm are like let's burrow up and take this bitch down so they do they win and then Paradigm's like well shit now they know where our hideout is and since they're trying to kidnap gears and they're like making them all disappear and we're all gears we can't stay here anymore so even though I don't really feel like cause I don't think Kai's very important cause he's a fucking cuck I guess I'll go with you and help free him why the fuck not so they all go back to Illyria Castle so Paradigm is able to instantly just like boom Hippo where are we? where are we right now so we left the island of Ganymede which is where we're in that game oh we're in Guilty Gear 2 this is the whole thing gamers were into the baptism of 13 incident shit went down dude so I'm not getting baptism one was bad who's getting about 13 it was you were very dirty this way just wait until you reach circumcision 90 yes that's right that happens to all of us alright okay god damn it this was an exercise in restraint just to make it through this okay so they go back to to Illyria Paradigm is able to free Kai he's free he's back and Kai is super pissed off this entire time he's been like Kai's kind of dumb and I hate him and it's not really clear why but this time he's like Kai you're a fucking shit king you got trapped all your men are dead you fucking suck I hate you and he just leaves and everyone's just like what the fuck just happened and Kai's just like okay well alright moving on so Paradigm figures out okay this army can track gears and they've attacked where's the gear and he's and everyone's like what and he's like there has to be a gear here if they keep attacking the castle where's the gear and Kai's just like mmm mmm and he's like oh I know the gears here Dizzy's here isn't she because she's not actually dead you lied to everybody I know Dizzy's here you've been experimenting on her to use as a weapon he's like no that didn't happen I'm a good boy I'm a good boy I just do good boy things and he's like show me where Dizzy is they go down to the basement and Dizzy is frozen in another seal much like Kai's but better I guess and the reason that Kai was so freaked out about the gears disappearing is because Dizzy started disappearing before this game began and he somehow took the thundercill sword the sword he got from the crusades dismantles it and use the power of the thundercill sword to freeze Dizzy in time so she would not disappear apparently you can do that because because Daisuke said so so that happens Dizzy is frozen in this stasis thing apparently so she won't disappear but because Kai doesn't have the sword anymore he can't undo the seal because he doesn't have enough power to do it so it's like a one way thing and so the army is coming to get Dizzy because they can sense that she's here but they can't really do anything about her because she's frozen in time to prevent her from disappearing and going where all these other gear corpses have been going makes sense sort of it sort of makes sense so Paradigm kind of examines the seal and he's like I can break the seal but it would be pointless to do so because she's just going to immediately disappear and that would prevent the purpose of you fucking up your sword to begin with so I'm not going to do that so he keeps scanning like trying to figure out what the fuck's going on with the seal and he realizes oh gear cells aren't the key specifically it's specifically gear cells of justice and because Dizzy is a commander gear commander gear and is justice's daughter which I don't know if I remember that I mentioned guilds of gear X but yeah Dizzy is justice's daughter so that's why she was also a commander gear who's the father we'll get to that okay so she's isn't that man isn't that man no that would be weird though so she's the daughter of justice so she has the same sound like isn't it so bad guys we'll get to that well trust me we'll get to it I will not leave you hanging I talked to to make Dizzy it's obviously the most interesting part I'm sure there's great dojins all about it so I actually did forget to mention who Dizzy's father was and left everybody hanging and nobody bothered to ask so here I am answering it right now I won't leave you in suspense any longer Sol is supposedly Dizzy's father so I guess when he was still dating Arya way back in the day I guess they kind of got it on or something and I guess they kind of made an illegitimate child it's not explained exactly in canon but there is like a scene in Rev2 where there's a comedic little bit before the final battle where Sol and Kai realized that now that Kai has married Dizzy that they are actually father and son in law so it is implied heavily and basically confirmed in canon that Sol is Arya's lover and he's also that means he's Dizzy's father because I guess somehow that works so there you go Sol is the father and he fucked Arya canonically hooray so so they're like okay she's the key to opening up the backyard is we need specifically these cells of justice and this is not only going to open the backyard this is how we get into the cube that that man made because like I guess it's kind of like like the just because he made justice kind of like his signature on these things or whatever so like you can use that to access the rest of his tag or something I don't fucking know he said so they're like okay justice cells are what you need to get into the cube which is in the backyard and access his shit and we can shut it down but then Paradigm is like wait a minute if we just killed Dizzy the cells are gone nobody can get into the cube and we're done like we win so he's like all right flipping through his book he's about to cast his uber death spell and just fucking nuke the bitch and Kai's like no don't kill her he's like stop being a faggot Kai to fuck over the world you want to keep your weapon project what do you like this girl or something he's like she's my wife his eight year old wife yes so Kai's not only king of alleria he's also the king of having sex with the young because she was with the young with the young with the young nobody no my voice is so gone I would have joined in with you that's a cold meme and also one I regret no so Kai is I guess married sort of too dizzy they are husband and wife and he doesn't want to kill her because she's just been living in the castle with him but like they can't keep it under wraps and the reason he became king under duress because the organization knows that he is married to a gear and they're using that as blackmail to kind of control him as head of the government and that's a thing just a quick question about dizzy isn't dizzy possessed by two different spirits she's not possessed by her but her wings are sentient entities so like when she fucks Kai she's also fucking this angel bitch and this demon guy thought as well yeah yeah there is another kind of sexy angel wing but then there's also some creepy like old dude who's like a grim reaper but like she's she's learned canonically at this point how to control her power when her power is suppressed they're just kind of little wings on her back okay so they're kind of dormant but they're probably they're probably like thinking things in her brain or something I don't know how it works she has like a big old dragon tail too she does yeah that's good for pegging true this is the most important part of the game it actually kind of is plot wise too because so they need the thing enter the cube and they're like so we could kill Dizzy the cube is the artificial construct in the back yard made by that man it's I guess I guess a weapon they never really explain exactly why the cube is so important because if you're just in the back yard doing shit you can fuck with things I guess maybe it's like it makes it easier I guess maybe you got maybe it's like like it's like the word press in the back yard instead of having a hard code your world mending shit you can just kind of use a template I don't know so they're like fuck we just need to kill Dizzy and Kai's like please god no my wife is really hot don't do this but then they're just like he's like please don't kill Dizzy for my and sin's sake and they're just like why you care about sin he's like sin is my son oh so the reason he's been traveling around with soul is Kai and Dizzy's son sin oh is that why he like grew up that's why he grew up in like three years because he's a gear he's a quarter gear because Dizzy's a half gear why so he's still part gear and that's why he grew up in like three years but he was traveling with soul instead of staying with them because the the government that doesn't know that they have a son yet so they sent him away so it doesn't get fucked we're Dizzy's parents again Dizzy's parents are justice and somebody we haven't gotten to that yet yeah it's it's done so but they're like wait fuck and then paradigm completely forgets about killing Dizzy because he's like if sin is Dizzy's son he's the key too and he ran away like an hour ago where the fuck is he so they all have to fucking bomb out and find him but of course Valentine's back they're attacking the castle for the fourth time in the game what's the key again the key is basically it's like something inside cells derived from justice that allow entry into the backyard and specifically the cube which is really important because reasons I'm really sorry I'm putting you all through this so they go chase after them and like they're attacking the city the thing again so Kai and paradigm stay and protect Dizzy well Izuna who is still there but hasn't done anything yet because he's dumb and so go to find sin but it's too late he's been taken and they run away but they're able to track him they go into this other place which I don't really ever say where it is they fight again they take she's able to take control of sin and make him a bad boy but then you fight him as soul and instantly turn him back so it was totally pointless so then they're chasing after Valentine again but she escapes into the backyard somehow I guess because she knows how to do that so she escapes in the backyard and they can't pursue her because they're not able to open up the gate I don't know why because I would assume soul probably has well but maybe because he's a prototype they don't work yeah so it's like you know it's an interesting way of getting around it so they can't get in there but then the gate opens and that man comes out of the gate and he's just like shit and everyone's like oh soul is in the middle like I want to fucking kill you because I hate you and he's like calm down dude I'm like you can't go in the backyard if normal people go in the backyard they fucking die instantly it's like super fucking insane you've got to be super strong to get in there so he fucking like you fight that man you can't hurt him at all but you do enough damage and he's like okay I guess you're strong enough so he like puts like little like protective spells on your entire party and he's like you can go in the backyard now you'll be fine for a little while and then he just kind of leaves so he's helping you he's helping you and that's exactly like I forget who's with you I think sin is with you at this point because there's a bunch of like a bunch of times you kind of break up and go to different places but sin is I think it's no it's a zuna who's like why the fuck is he helping us I'm the bad guy I don't fucking know so it's like it's really weird but like in this game and in XX and all this stuff you're kind of slowly realizing maybe that man isn't as bad as everyone's saying he is even though he made these like super death weapons like that's kind of weird why is this a nice boy doing all these nice boy things if he's a total douchebag and destroyed the entire world this is weird he's a weird guy so you go into the backyard and chase after Valentine you have a big boss fight turns into this giant fucking mega death gear and he like heals himself into the backyard because everyone else escapes the gate closes behind him but Sol's like I'm gonna stay I'm gonna kill Valentine so this threat is over so they fight he kills her and then he's trapped in the backyard because he can't get back out and everyone's like oh no Sol's gone this sucks so then that man appears in the backyard again in front of Sol and Sol's like what the fuck this whole thing is bullshit I hate you why what did you do why is Valentine you look exactly like Arya so this whole time this girl looks exactly like his dead girlfriend who's also justice and that man's like that had nothing to do with me but again there's a big apocalypse coming and I'm gonna need your help on that shit Sol he's like I'm gonna fucking kill you he's like okay bye just opens up a gate and lets him go out and that's the end of Guilty Gear Overture so why were the gears disappearing again they were disappearing because I don't know they kind of forgot about it they were originally they were originally disappearing the first thing in the game they're like they're disappearing so no one else can open the backyard so like if no one else has gear cells no one else can chase after us that was kind of their first thing but then so I think you need gear cells to enter the backyard and then you need justice's cells to get into the cube specifically that man made but it still doesn't explain why Sol couldn't open the backyard by himself so I don't know Daisuke said so that's as far as I know there's an after credit scene where that man is talking with Raven which is one of his servants I can't remember if Eno's there but he's just like there are a bajillion more Valentine's being made every day shit's gonna get bad and that's how the game ends Jesse this dude's eating cereal in class how do you expect me to stop a mountain of a man like that Super Mario's cereal nonetheless that's my boy demerit wait for me no for him drinking during class is fine I'd be drinking too if I didn't have to speak oh god I'm beating the shit up stuff okay we're almost done is this mic gonna die I know this died on fucking we're good alright I'm terrified I don't want to do this again I'm already like I've been living this this nightmare long enough okay dead dead blah blah blah blah guilty gear XR'd signed this is a return to form back to the fighting games this came out in 2007-2008 this is like a huge amount of time later so this is like 12 years since the last guilty gear fighting game but this is a direct continuation from guilty gear to overture it's one year later but everything that happened here is super important this is actually a huge big event this is almost as important as the crusades in terms of affecting the rest of the continuity so far oh sorry quick question what the hell does the baptism 13 mean I don't know what do you mean you don't know how can I ask this question to if not you the baptism of 13 incident is just the name they gave to Valentine and the Visual Army attacking Alleria you know just like why is it called just like you know oh Pearl Harbor the baptism of 13 event I don't know why Pearl Harbor is called Pearl Harbor I have a theory it's like the 13th like a new evolutionary stage of humanity it's the 13th it's the 13th annual and this series has given me trying to figure this out it's the organization 13 but they're all broken and baptized yeah exactly the babies you got it okay so before we get to Guilty Gear X-Arts sign we have to take a little detour and talk about Guilty Gear Vast Edge which is a I got some Vast Edge I've been doing a Vast Edge this whole time I shit you not this is real there is a small little game that happened in here where Sol starts re-collecting the outrage weapons from all the way back here to use Frederick to fight the Valentine's that are coming after the first one what sort of game huh? what sort of game are we talking about? this I shit you not Guilty Gear Vast Edge is a canonical pre-cooled Guilty Gear X-Arts Pachinko machine there is a Pachinko machine that is canon in the lore of Guilty Gear it's important to the lore of Guilty Gear not super not super important but there are a few things in X-Arts you don't really understand where they came from unless you know that Sol already knows about the conclave which we are going to get into now so remember the post-war administration bureau they have bosses they are called the conclave and now they are the new big bad boys and they are fucking shit up in Guilty Gear X-Arts so they want to do what everybody wants to do which is revive justice because justice is the big guns and we like justice okay so Sol is collecting the outrages but that is immediately discarded because I guess nobody cares because this big thing happens in X-Arts also there is Illyria in response to the army that attacked remember normal magic does not affect valentines for whatever reason so they develop a series of automatons like robot sort of things called the opus and the opus are designed specifically to fight valentines and her armies so they have all these like robot guards running around because like a bunch of people died during the baptism of 13 event Nate I know there is a character named Elphelt for valentine Elphelt valentine I assume that is going to be relevant here it is going to be very relevant about 5 minutes okay so okay all that happens everything is fine until another valentine appears over the remnants of what used to be Japan and this her name is Ramlethal valentine she is the second valentine and she is objectively the best girl in the series she is super fucking awesome she is pretty good and she declares war on all of humanity like I am going to fuck her shit up I am here my sister failed but I am not going to I am way cooler so she doesn't look anything like the last valentine but she is still a valentine I guess I guess that is just a thing now you can be a valentine Manchi outside of story and background information have gears as a concept ever mattered at all I mean outside of the story how could they matter at all like have there been like could you play as gears as a soul is a gear and he is playable testament is a gear and he is playable justice is a gear and she is a secret character dizzy is half gear and sin is a quarter gear so those are 5 playable characters with gear heritage I don't know it just kind of feels like why it doesn't deserve to be called out soul is the guilty gear stupid the whole plot have to do with gears it is retarded well yeah you are going to seal I am not going to deny that this is retarded but this is just this is just my kind of tism that is why I am balls deep in it right now alright go back to your cereal we are trying to pay attention gladly okay so so Jesus Christ keep that contained oh no please God I am trying to speak oh fuck okay so I am like watching Monstro like alright calm down class we are approaching the end okay we got maybe we are going to learn all about that man soon aren't you excited alright I am going to plant a seed that is going to make everybody excited by the end of here right here we are going to learn that man's name oh yeah cool so strap in it is even dumber than that okay so guilty gear XR 39 Ramothel Valentine shows up above the remnants of Japan and it is like humans are gay I am taking you guys out and everyone is like shit it has only been a year since the last time but good thing we are prepared we need to go fuck up Valentine all kinds of bad so they soul, kind and sin all go to the remnants of Japan to fight this new Valentine and take her out remember all that shit about like backyard magic and how you have to fight them with different magic gone none of that matters anymore well it was nice and well lasted so that was all just like a thing for the game play you can use regular punches now they are fine so you fight Ramothel you win but you don't kill her because she is super powerful and then all of a sudden you get Kai gets a call and it is like there is a big fucking death weapon above a city called Babylon and it fucking wipes out everybody in Babylon and Ramothel is like lemau I brought all you out here while the cradle it is called the cradle destroyed this entire city I win and everyone is like pissed off like fuck we couldn't save this entire city full of people they are all just wiped out and she is upset about that and so they are fighting Ramothel they are trying to beat her but she is still holding her ground and so Kai is just like we need to call in this other character that apparently he met before the start and that is Elf at Valentine another Valentine who is apparently a good guy who is working with them so they call in Elf and she comes and she is able to cancel out Ramothel's power because they are their sisters because Daisuke said so you can just go you can't do shit anymore and so Elf it prevents Ramothel from killing the soul she was going to self destruct herself and kill soul in the explosion but Elf it turned off her powers it didn't happen and they capture Ramothel Monchi so I know you just said that it is just because Daisuke says so but so does she just like say like you can't use powers anymore and she just can't correct well I'm sure they have some sort of like they've got like negative powers of each other like the same power so it like but she just says I don't know well I don't know literally she just goes like this and she stops blowing up she just uses some magic or something is this still the Pachinko machine? no this is this is the fighting game the only thing you need to open the Pachinko machine is that soul got the outrage and they developed the opus the only reason I wanted to say was because there's a guilty gear Pachinko machine that is canon because I thought was retarded and I needed if I had to suffer with that you all do now yeah so they capture Ramothel and they try to interrogate her to figure out like what the fuck's going on what's your plan where did that cradle thing go because it blows up a city and then disappears alright and at this point soul and everybody I guess sort of knows that there's this new bad guys called the conclave and they're it's not exactly clear what they are like if they're like an official government body or kind of like another sort of Illuminati thing but they are the post war administration bureau's bosses they're one step above them and they control all the shit and they're being bad guys doing bad guys shit and they're trying to figure out what their plan is they're the big enemies of this game it's a cabal of like I think four or five individuals wear these cool like steel masks and they sit around like a little table and discuss about how they're gonna fuck shit up but Ramothel is like just like any Valentine she has like no emotions doesn't give a shit she's like a doll designed by what they call mother they refer to her simply as mother the original Valentine did this too and they don't care about shit munchie stop showing off just use the American title Earthbound come on alright so Earthbound XR okay so yeah what's up doesn't it felt have emotions and stuff she does to get married for example she does so all of the Valentine's apparently according to Elpheth because they what what are we talking about no talking between each other in class demerit demerit get fucked okay yeah you earned it buddy it's my last one thank god okay so yeah so they talk to Elpheth who is the nice one the Valentine that's helping them and she's like the total opposite of the other Valentine instead of being like emotionless she's like super bubbly happy go lucky she's obsessed with getting married because she her original programming where she was supposed to get married to a death metal singer but that but like which was part of her programming I guess but because she was so overwhelmed with like the emotion of like getting married to this guy it like woke up and she realized what she was doing she was no longer an automaton emotionless being she had legitimate emotions and was like fuck I don't want to fuck all this shit up anymore because she knew what the plan was of like fucking everything up with the cradle I know Nate so she was she was she's the Valentine created by mother like the other ones but her purpose was to marry some metal singer I have no fucking idea why that had shit to do with shit I don't understand the relevancy to the plan of wiping out humanity there's a little bit that we can kind of assume happens later okay but for now it's really stupid okay even in Canon she tried to like tell people who she was and everyone thought she was insane like everyone just like you're a fucking psycho getting a little out of myself right now yeah so but she somehow was able to she has the ability to track people kind of like the other Valentine and she found Kai Kisk who is now the king and told him about this and because Kai's a good boy he's like okay they did like scans on her to prove she wasn't human she's like alright I'll listen to what she has to say so apparently oh sorry one last question what's up why didn't she marry that guy what happened to that metal singer I don't know oh what the hell her whole purpose in life is to get married where the fuck is the guy she was supposed to get married right it's fucking weird isn't it I think maybe he died or something I don't remember well something stupid something stupid happened she's a big tell alright okay so where were we yeah so she was supposed to initially help Ramathal with her plan but for Bell's so she knows a little bit of the plan but she's been cut off and doesn't know anything anymore yeah I guess develops emotion somehow question mark that is my notes wants to save everybody instead she believes she has emotions in response to the first Valentine not having and failing but that's just an assumption on her part and confirms that Ramathal is working with the conclave so like Ramathal is a tool of the conclave which are like these big bad guys who are trying to take over for reasons I guess sorry what's the relationship between the conclave and mother are they like working together there's no relation as far as we know there's nothing nothing is explicitly stated as of right now were the Valentine's made by mother they were but why do the conclaves have authority over I did wow okay so I mean I mean just to cut thing short the conclave's being used by mother they think they're in charge of ship but they're not they're being used by mother to further mother's plans at this point but they think they're in charge Munchie what part of any of this am I supposed to like what part am I supposed to think is cool cool fighting the part that the part that most people like is the actual game that has nothing to do with any of this wasting our time if you clicked on this video not expecting the waste your time Munchie you need to understand that this information is not out there like people who play these games don't know this shit Tom is the only one in the history of guilty gear and this is the only thing this is the only source that will ever exist for this and it's the most important video in the world I don't want to toot my own horn but this might be the most like complete like video collection of guilty gear knowledge in English like as sad as that is I will wear that badge with pride okay so so they're they're talking with with outfit and Seoul is just like you're full of shit I don't believe you for a second I want you dead because it's a very stressful believe you they have Ramlethal captured does stuff blah blah blah none of these notes really fucking matter I'm shocked this could be a lot longer I'm shocked going through a lot of stuff right now it's been going for way too long yeah so they threaten to kill Ramlethal and she doesn't care she doesn't even care to die she's already failed in her mission so she feels like she has no value now she's just a tool a tool who's failed she can't do anything so fuck Conclave is doing this bad shit working with Ramlethal and Kai has his suspicions that they're being like watched because the Conclave is like the super secret organization so they decide to go to ZEP which is the nation that Potemkin's from and we talked about earlier because they have nothing to do with the United Nations the Conclave has no authority there so they can like meet up there and talk freely and not worry about being spied on and shit so they decide to go to ZEP while they're going to ZEP Sin becomes friends with Ramlethal and Elphid a really kind of gay anime montage of friendship and shit happens and like he gives her a puppy and gives her this is a hamburger isn't it great she's like whoa I'm experiencing sensation and so Ramlethal slowly kind of starts like awakened emotion in herself as well and Elphid's there too and they're all having a good time there's a big little like montage of them doing silly things and shenanigans of anime proportions happen yeah okay maybe maybe he was finna smash you know what I mean I don't understand it was never mind yeah I'm running out of steam here yeah so this is this is pretty ridiculous we're in a home stretch though we are almost I really hope so we're gonna we're gonna do this quick so that's my boy oh yeah so there's there's another B-plot of like someone who I haven't like people haven't talked of this entire time because they're not important until right now and it's the assassins guild so that Slayer, Melia, Venom and Zato they're all members of the assassins guild they all know each other it's like all the characters I play I didn't know they were really into each other you all play the assassins guild yeah and so they are also where the conclave is fucking up because the assassins are working with the post-administration bureau on shit so they were actually part of the government for a while doing like all the dirty shit that they didn't want to get done and so they know the conclave is up to no good too and they're fucking with them so they also decide to go to Zepp and meet with Kai because every time they're trying to meet with Kai this guy called Bedman his name is Bedman comes in and fucks with them so Bedman is this little boy in a gown who is asleep and strapped to a robot bed and he fights with a robot bed I shit you not this is real he's a playable character he's one of the he's one of the new characters the bed has a little robot head and everything it's crazy so incidentally both valentines are also playable yes yes they are both hot they are pretty hot so they all they all meet up in Zepp and Zato the leader of the assassin guild is like you're right the conclave is doing the shit and so it's everyone is surprised that Zato even shows up because in the end of Guildtiger XX he dies he should be dead which one's Zato? he's the guy with the belt on his head that can control shadows right yes yeah Eddie is the shadow Eddie is the shadow Eddie is the for what the fuck Eddie is the forbidden beast but depending on depending on which game I told you right around this area where she gets really stupid well it's this was all fine it's that depending on which game you play it was not fine what's up isn't he called Zato in one game and Eddie in another game yes because in Guildtiger X he is Zato and he's controlling Eddie the forbidden beast in Guildtiger XX he is dead and Eddie is just controlling a corpse right right but is he back now? yes so by the end of XX Eddie's story in XX is that the corpse is deteriorating and if the corpse gets destroyed Eddie will also die because he's dependent on this corpse and at the end of the story I guess he dies but now he's saying that the conclave was able to revive him from dying and the reason they did that is they're trying to experiment with binding souls to other bodies and their big plan is to bind their leader Cronus's soul to the corpse of justice so they can be the big bad and remake the world in their image and standardized humanity is their little their little thing is justice dead now? or do they have to kill her as part of this plan? justice is dead she's been dead since Guildtiger I what? that was she was trapped between the mentions at the end of the crusades but remember she's testament, revives her and Guildtiger I and soul kills her at the end of that game so from Guildtiger I went on she's dead but her corpse is still hanging around I guess don't really know why interesting thing now in Guildtiger I and all these games justice is like a character so she's kind of like bombs around like your size apparently she's supposed to be the size of a fucking skyscraper because that's how big she is in these games well alright then yeah I don't know if that was just a technological limitation to make her playable but now she's a fucking Gundam essentially like Gundam size really weird so that's their plan is they want to bind their soul to justice and control and become a commander gear and control all the gears and control everything won't you? where do they store this justice corpse? oh we're getting there okay why don't they just take Dizzy instead cause Dizzy's around and she's a commander gear too well Dizzy well Dizzy I don't think Dizzy's as powerful as justice because she is a humanoid commander gear oh and she's half gear too yeah okay justice is ostensibly more powerful than Dizzy which I mean Dizzy's still a fucking god but justice is the big the big thing yeah so that's their plan so they go they go to stop that I'm skipping a bunch of stuff because it's already taking way too long blah blah blah fucking kill me yeah thank you please yeah so Bedman attacks Zep because he wants to fuck these guys up cause he's working like he's working I guess with he's working with mother essentially he's working with the Valentine's so he's like trying to fuck their shit up and this is where Gabriel wrecks train on Bedman who's really powerful is able to beat like slayers out and all those guys all the same time and then fucking Gabriel just comes in as he gets fucked up it's awesome who's Gabriel again? Gabriel is the guy who works with Potemkin he's the leader of Zep so like literally everybody Gabriel's such a badass they're all just sitting around like all these the entire main cast of Guild of Gears talking about this plot and then Bedman attacks the the the the the whole floating continents in trouble and everyone gets up like we gotta stop Bedman he's like I would be remiss if my guest had to take care of my so he's a fucking he's a fucking dope guy but then I guess like somehow Bedman escapes and like appears in front of Ramlethal and like tells her to like he was gonna he's gonna kill her cause she's like a loose end but then he realizes she has emotions and is like oh I guess I can't kill you now because I have a sister complex yeah that's real yeah I I'm really skipping over shit now so yeah they they then bring back they're they're fucked up they don't know what to do about figuring this out apparently the cradle that thing from the beginning that destroyed Babylon has appeared a couple more times and they can't really track it and they find out that the corpse of justice is hidden in the cradle that's where they're hiding it and not only is is it there it's a ship and the conclave is hiding inside there as well and it doesn't disappear it's teleporting into the back yard and that's why they can't find it and the reason it kills everybody is cause again it's the dumb explanation that the game gives but the way the attack worked with the cradle was this big orb that kind of expanded outward and vaporized everybody it touched what they say Dr. Paradigm comes back from the weird parrot guy he comes back and he says that it's expanding the back yard into our reality and then like it swaps the spaces so it can teleport away and because everybody is a a basic bitch and they can't reduce the back yard they used to be vaporizing it and die so that's how the weapon works you can't stay in the back yard forever if you're not from there so basically the metaphor they use is like being in the back yard is like being under water and you have to keep coming up for a breath every now and then or you will fucking die so they keep popping back and just kind of like not dying is kind of their plan but they're kind of in their scheming in the back yard with this corpse of justice trying to fuse himself to it but they need power to do so they need a huge amount of power and something I forgot to talk about but it doesn't matter if you're a tech-off's gun they talk about this thing called a St. Elmo's Fire which is like this big lightning bolt that strikes every 13 years and it saved them from the crusades so they kind of worship it and that's very clearly going to be what the bad guys use to power justice because they've literally the plot just stops like let's talk about St. Elmo's Fire for a second even though it's never been mentioned before and they're just like okay so that's their plan and Illyria Castle is a big lightning rod designed to harness St. Elmo's Fire so it doesn't hurt anybody so the bad guys and everybody has to fight them off and then you find out like they teleport the body of justice to oh god I'm skipping so much there's a whole part where they decide to attack the cradle because they can predict where it's going to show up now because Dr. Paradigm's a genius and can figure everything out so they're like okay we're going to attack the cradle but how we're going to do it is going to launch soul off a giant fucking missile straight at it no reason because they have ships and stuff they can just go there but because it looks really cool we're going to strap soul to a missile and have them punch it really hard that's the main idea that they're going to do but they can't do it effectively because it has what they call the absolute defense feline it's the ultimate defensive spell it can't be countered by anything so their plan is going to get fucked up but then that man shows up again and decides to help them and this is literally the point in the game I understand I have a direct quote from the game this is the quote of the game that broke me let me find it god I want to die um shit okay uh uh uh wow rarity friendship really is magic it's great okay this is the literal dialogue that man says when they break the absolute defense feline understand this is the kind of dialogue basically from the backyard and I'm serving as an intermediary Frederick's fist will carry more energy than anything on this planet is capable of producing I convert that energy into matter and we will contain that in a pocket dimension using the Schwartzfield radial limit we then destroy the physical space occupied by the barrier creating a spontaneous microburst the rest the rest is is simple we only need to ensure the world isn't destroyed in the process actual dialogue from this game I can really end the presentation right here so this was literally this morning too I was still taking notes up until this morning um so they destroy the cradle but they don't destroy justice they teleported away then they find out about the Illyria plot with St. Elmo's fire sole punches the guys a lot they stop it but the opus that they had to protect them are all actually gears so they control all the gears they have to fight them all off okay yeah he's part gear yeah why we don't know still hasn't been explained but like he literally like one of the conclave just mercs him in the chest like seven times with a handgun and he just gets up and has a red gear eye and just kills him he's apparently a gear yeah um so they beat they beat the conclave they're bad and bed man gets away do you think if you fuck a gear you'd become a gear maybe maybe those gear cells are a sexually transmitted disease that makes enough sense I mean that's honestly the most exposure he's had two gears at this point other than killing them and nobody else got turned into gears so I don't know how many guys have fucked gears that's the end of sign yeah my note on Kai turning into gear is literally what the fuck I mean we're never told so yeah I don't I don't get it so the saint almost fire comes down dizzy is free from her seal and she's able to overload the system and fry the corpse of justice then soul pulls him out of it and beats the shit out of them they win and that's that's it I'm sorry who did soul beat the shit out of the the the the the the leader of the conclave we're just a four hour movie so you can just sit down and watch it God I'm gonna try and do Revelator in ten minutes so it can just be done at eight o'clock and it'd be in my three hour window okay Munchie's so done almost almost as done as me this is all just anime shit I told you this is where the shit this is all just anime shit where the fuck is Mickey Mouse right now I just wanna go on record that I think the story is really cool I've been enjoying it a lot and I can't wait to go play Guilty Gear dude all of this shit you can just watch it this is 15 hours of cutscenes you can sit back and enjoy oh and this part's been kind of retarded it's super fucking retarded dude is this exerted sign? yeah XR'd sign this is the first release the second one is Guilty Gear XR'd Revelator this is the second version it has the rest of the story I always wondered what the fuck was going on with the story in Guilty Gear X and I was frustrated like I never found out no matter how much I played the game you just had to spend three weeks on the internet so I like the part in Revelator where there's like this little online lobby with all the little arcade machines and you can walk up to them and get beat up by Japanese people it's cute is that just the online one? I guess it's the lobby where does that factor into the story? into the grand allure Daisuke does what Daisuke does I guess okay so I'm a good boy I'm gonna go through this quick Guilty Gear XR'd Revelator a few days after sign everybody now knows about Mother and they call her the universal will for no reason I guess well that's a bit of a loaded phrase yeah I think there's the weird thing about this is that there's a story mode that's like a five hour movie but then all the arcade openings and closings for each character are prequels to the story so you can't just play the story you have to beat the entire arcade mode with every character first to understand the context for the story mode which is really fucking stupid so I didn't do that and I'm wait you said you have to beat the arcade mode to unlock the story you don't have to unlock it but like everything that happens in the arcade mode of sign and revelator happens before the story mode of the game itself so there's like two stories the arcade mode then the story mode correct why wouldn't they just put all the story in the story mode because God hates me yeah so okay so the universal will I'm sorry Tom I don't mean to be interrupting you it's just it's really getting to me I'm getting imagine being the one who has to parse it all from the source so Guilty Gear sign ends with Ramaphal is a good girl now she's with our boys but Elfit was apparently actually bad the whole time her whole death metal backstory thing was bullshit what she thought it was real wait she thought it was real she thought it was real no no she thought it was real but her programming that she got from mother was to not know that everything you're saying is full of shit and then once justice is revived now you turn on now you're a bad mindless automaton I guess that is like mind control it's basically mind control so so they're like oh fuck we have to kill Elfit our good friend Elfit and then but through the power of friendship and sisterhood Ramaphal turns her back but she can't like escape mother's clutch so like remember the absolute defense fellion that is what we call shitty writing so every time you need something to be stopped that we can't actually stop we put an absolute defense fellion around them now so mother puts an absolute defense fellion around Elfit and transports her back to the back yard along with what's left of justice and that's how Guilds of Gear Direct Road signs ends and so swears that he's not going to let another person he likes to die like he did with Arya he's going to save Elfit because through this entire game there's tons of boys now and have friends again what's up just a quick question which game is it where you can actually fight as I know in one of the games like you can play a soul wearing his outfit from the crusades yes that's Accent Core that's when you can play his Holy Order Soul and he's pretty cool there's actually a story mode that's fake at the end of that one where Soul has to fight Order Soul because he was sent back in time by Hino okay Revelator we go to the Universal Will who is actually the Saint Maximus Populi the leader of the entire world is actually the embodiment of the universal will on earth and is the mother in charge of creating the Valentine's so this entire time everybody's big boss like Kai's boss and all of their bosses she's been the big bad the whole time and she's been slowly manipulating everything to work to her will and now she has taken back the corpse of justice and Elfette is holding both of them prisoner and I guess all of these all the Valentine's are like hat like clones sort of of Arya Hale the girl all the way back from the beginning or like derived from her injustice you came justice yeah so they're all they're all kind of related in that way and she wants to you know I'm just going to skip all this because it doesn't matter blah blah blah the first sage who's like who first entered the backyard and kind of like discovered magic and all of his disciples the disciples of the original sage are that man and the Apostles and the Apostles were also the conclave and that's that so everybody's related yeah you have no idea what I'm talking about do you no the remember I wondered where the Apostles were they were the conclave the Apostles they've been doing shit for like 200 years somehow they just didn't die so the Apostles were in charge of the post war yeah they were their bosses the post war administration bureau are just boys but they report to the conclave who are the Apostles but they're being controlled by mother mother was manipulating them to further her own goals and she's also the universal will she's referred now as the universal will munchie you can just skip all this gay shit and get right to the answers we're all desperately looking for yeah so there's another guy named Axel he's a time traveler who's like soul's best buddy throughout all these games Axel low yeah he's a time traveler he's actually from the year 1998 he was from right before the dawn of revival and he was ripped through time to the time of guilty gear one and he his entire his entire personal stories he wants to get a goomy who has been left back there he shouldn't go there no it's a terrible idea but you know your dick is very powerful so is he relevant in the story somehow? right now he is no way yeah so he's he's not mattered at all but he canonically is like soul's one buddy even though they don't hang out anymore like sin's kind of replaced him as his buddy I guess in the story but before then they were kind of bros so soul wants his help to do something to like beat back the universal will because everyone's mad I think in the arcade mode everybody found out about it I know I'm sorry is there is there a physical manifestation of this universal will? yes so the universal will is it's basically like something in the back yard but the the manifestation on earth right now is is Arielle so the saint maximus populace she's the ruler of the entire planet so she has so people have like seen her in person this whole time she's been around revelator starts with her making a rousing speech about how great humans are but then she immediately teleports where elf it is and say humans are gay and I'm going to kill them all it's going to be great so she's totally full of shit and she has a public facing appearance where she's a great person and even Kai like loves her she's Kai's boss so they're nice but she's actually bad so yeah there's some weird plot I don't understand revelator all I'm just going to throw that Japanese people are turning into gears and then they explode whoa whoa whoa wait wait wait we're dead there's some left in the colonies and apparently like Japanese people are calling like weird gears and then the gears explode or something why are god damn my friend did you hang my pictures of like why would Japanese people turn into gears I don't know okay it's interesting because this is like the thrust of revelator is that like there's these weird earthquakes happening and the earthquakes are like bringing gears up from the ground like these big monster gears but they're happening where Japanese people are for some reason and like are the Japanese people turning into them because again gears are modified organs maybe not clear but halfway through this game completely just doesn't even care about that anymore what's up my head canon is that is Japanese and that is why they can turn into gears because it's special cool I'm for it and also that's all okay Ben I was gonna ask about key because we never really talked about magic like do any of the characters use key and like what does it do well key can simulate can like emulate any of the other elemental magics it's also like basically just like life energy it's like it's like kind of like spiritual kind of martial arts kind of like kind of idea like key and she in general like a real world but it like does cool shit I would assume like Ben and the fan dude I don't know if Anji uses key he might I know Bikin Bikin Killiff uses key and then I know Jam uses key but I don't know about anybody else because none I use this key when I go in my house cool yeah none of those characters were plot relevant through their their lore I kind of just stuck to the main boys yeah okay this fucking guy right here alright yeah yeah that happens this game is really weird oh also the universal will has been around forever so like the dawn of revival that was the universal will fucking with everybody wait what yeah so the dawn of revival the thing that was trying to manifest that was the universal will has been fucking with humanity forever yeah yeah yeah so this is like the big big bad I guess and then remember when justice fucking blew up Japan the universal will was trying to manifest in Japan and the only way that man could save humanity was to destroy all of Japan with justice so he was actually he was he was being a good boy just like we were when we nuked fucking Japan we had to do it it was right cause you did it again okay so wait you've got the universal will correct the alien turned it's technically not an alien but we're about to get to that but yeah sure sure and then and then the apostles who are who who are they the other ones who told us the apostles the apostles are the guys who came here and told us about magic and taught humanity how to use magic they are the disciples of what the game just calls the original or the sage he's the first guy who discovered the backyard and he's the one who's like actually discovered magic I guess we don't know anything about him he's just a dude he actually gives Axel low I guess he's like still floating around he gives Axel low a coded message that only that man can understand and like his stories he goes finds that man and gives him this coded message so that man just bombs in everyone's just like talking about how we find the universal will that's just fucked up so he let me find my notes because there's no way I'm going to remember this if I don't do that done, yeah lecture over yeah the original sage discovered the backyard way long ago he desired for everlasting peace because remember when you go to the backyard if you know how to use it you can change the world however you see fit so the original sage's wish was for humanity to have everlasting prosperity he didn't want anything bad to happen to people he was a good boy he was a good guy and that's what he wanted so in order for that to happen he created a construct like a supernatural construct being that exists in the backyard that was designed to just kind of like influence the world and keep everybody doing good so it's specific instruction to help humans never to harm them the construct just studies humanity and try and learns how to best do this but eventually because humans are like easy and shit it started to ask itself what the fuck even is a human to begin with so it decided the best thing it could use to give a definition to humans are something with soul like a soul freedom like desire and things like that like a soul bad guy yeah more like a soul good guy soul's a pretty good thing but yeah so so it for some retarded reason this construct decides that even though like having a soul and like your free will and stuff is what makes you human the rate we're going we're going to like become so lazy and shitty and awful that we're gonna like not do that anymore I guess like it says that it calculates that humans will inevitably undermine their own happiness and free will as they progress societally and it basically destroys our expression of a soul therefore human beings don't actually exist what wait that's its conclusion that humans has defined humanity as doesn't actually exist yet we are not humans it refers to us specifically as redundancies because we're redundant life forms and it's new mission is to is to destroy all of humanity and usher in an era that real humans can spawn from and that's why it's trying to fuck everybody up the iPhone did this yes Siri Siri is the universal will I was going to say that this sounds like literally metanites revenge where that's the plot of all of Guilty Gear is basically that they're fed up with how lazy and shitty humans aka the inhabitants of Dreamland are and so he goes to Genocidal Crusades to make them actually do work and be cool but this what's this a destruction of the soul of humans do humans change as a result of this or is it just determined that humans were never good enough humans were never good enough because our inevitable end game was going to undermine the entire point of the universal will's programming in the first place okay and the universal will is the construct that was made by the sage when he went to the back yard yes and that manifests as aerials or whatever aerials she is the current manifestation she was also the previous sanctus populace she kind of just possesses them and like becomes them she's been running the show for a while gotcha so yeah it's really weird also like the sanctus populace has been like it's been multiple people over the course of years but they've all remember all the way back in 2008 one of the first things the apostles do is they establish the sanctus populace that's like the leading government body of like magic land because we didn't have like a way to like govern that so all this time she's been bombing fucking shit up because I was going to say because like I said Japan's destruction was actually that man trying to save humanity because he's known about it forever because he's a smart guy why didn't he tell Sol and not exactly sure because I because that man is not really he's like he's like one of he's like the apostles he's like long living like in guilds of gear two Sol specifically says you made yourself way younger like he regressed himself age wise so he's not really a human and at this point Sol was a human so he probably didn't want to like mess up his simple little life but Sol into a gear and we learn why that happened because remember Arya was terminally ill and Sol was very sad but they were already best buds with that man so that man hatches an incredibly convoluted plan to to turn Arya into justice a gear and Sol both of them and so he has there's another Valentine that he introduced here that works with him called Jack O which is one of the characters that comes in in Revelator she has like a cool like Halloween mask and stuff she's really cool looking but she is apparently an incomplete copy of Arya's soul so if Arya fuses with justice it will become purely human you mean Jack O? if Jack O fuses with justice the corpse of justice the corpse of justice they will combine and will create a new Arya so basically resurrect Arya so this entire crazy fucking shit that that man has done he's just been looking up for his two best buds he's trying to save her from death and kept Sol as a gear to be alive long enough for all of it to happen and Sol's pissed because he hates him but now he's being a good guy because they're not a simpler way to accomplish this but how could we have all these games if guys get didn't go ham on this shit so that's that man doing his thing he just wanted but he didn't predict that when they started making all those weaponized that he didn't want to happen but up until that point he just wanted to create two gears that could live long enough so he could fucking fix everything that was his original plan but he fucked up hippo so who is that man's name that man's name is this is going a little forward because it's one of the last lines of X-Arts it's Ouska R. Kreuz oh it all makes sense that is his name that's like a thing right that's a what's that then it was just me and you no it's just it's just his name that man that man's actual name is Ouska R. Kreuz I know I know like I said it was going to be really stupid the ones where he called himself that man yeah yeah so he didn't want anyone to at least long story short they fight what's the name there's a really cool scene where all those gears from before they all pile on alleria and everybody's there so everybody in the game has this huge graph fight scene where they all fight these gears so your favorite guy beats shit up it's fucking cool and then Solkai and Sin go find the universal will which is Ariel's they have a big fight at some point Ramathal they think she's dead but she comes back here too so she's fighting as well and what their plan they have to do is they have to so the the universal will's plan I guess is to is to use Elfit or something with justice super weapon to destroy humanity to reset it and pave the way for a new better human our boys plan is to replace because right now Elfit is like fused with with the body of justice she's trapped she can't get out they want to replace justice with Jack O because if they fuse they will destroy justice permanently there'll be no more body to worry about and we will have a new version of aria so Solkai can get his girl back and they do that there's a lot of other bullshit that happens stuff but I'm not going to go into that Axl does come back and he freezes time that allows all this to happen so he is plot important and he he's the ultimate bros before hose guy because his story mode says he's been time traveling so much you can only do it one more time so we can either go back to his time and be with his girl or save the world and he chooses to help out his bro soul get his girl back instead he's the ultimate wingman he doesn't get enough recognition good boy he is defeated I guess either if it's just that part of it is defeated I don't know if she actually dies or just that form of her dies so that's good but soul gets his girl back he has like the fuse into aria and he's like all kind of happy about that but kind of weird and then he still needs to settle his score with that man and so eventually they're going to have a big final showdown duel to settle when does jack-o jack-o whenever you want dude okay we're done we did it there's a ton of stuff left here but if you want to go watch the movies go for it guilty gear we did it there we yeah holy fuck if there's any lingering questions I'll do my best to answer them now because I did leave a lot on the table I guess that's why the tagline for guilty gear is simple question why that was the dumbest thing ever go why why not so when aria comes back when aria is revived by combining jack-o and uh justice's body correct does that just bring back aria like as she was before and she's just restored we don't know have you seen her yet have we seen her we've seen her body but she's just unconscious and naked and kind of kind of hot is it okay so justice was fused with L justice was was sort of fused she was kind of like trapped sort of fused with justice it's what's her name Elsa Elsa yeah let it go let go of justice so okay and justice was like made of aria like aria was like the base that they created justice out of yes so they just kind of swapped jack-o in there jack-o I guess like there's this interesting jack-o jack-o's first appearance was in Guilty Gear XR second Rev which is like the second thing after this but I just added it because this is just DLC her first canon appearance is in here but all the way back in Guilty Gear XX she appears as like a shadow standing by that man in one of the cut scenes so even all the way back fucking here all of this was apparently planned alright okay so my last point of confusion is just that you're doing better than me then if this is your last point so all of that man's schemes is it true to say that his soul motivation was to like help his friends and protect humanity? yes he's a good boy he's a good boy yeah this game ends with him turning himself into the authorities because what he'd want to do is basically done so he's going to face retribution for all the shit he did he's going to own up to his mistakes that's going to happen who doesn't explain it but he's a good guy he had to do some really hard choices in order for the good of humanity but he is not evil so by the end of sir he's no longer the big bad now it's the universal will and she's still at large at the end right we have not defeated her yet not 100% clear it's assuming that like the Valentine's and the universal will is still something that's going to be a thing because again it's not clear if this revelator was the merciless apocalypse that he kept referring to soul about or if that's still to come but I guess we'll find out eventually Jesse what is guilty gear well it's a fighting game whoa can we play it we can it's upstairs right now oh my god class dismissed everybody video games video games video games video games video games video games video games video games