 We invite you to enjoy life, life with Luigi, a new comedy show created by Cy Howard and starring that celebrated actor, Mr. J Carol Nash, with Alan Lee as the star. Luigi Vasco left Italy to start his new life in America. He promised his mother that he would write and tell her about his adventures. So now let's read Luigi's letter as he writes to Mama Vasco in Italy. Mama Mia, I'm a just to read your letter, which is a comment today and I'm glad to know you're feeling fine. You write to how much you miss me and how you want a picture of me to see how I'm a look. Well, Mama Mia, you know Luigi is a face that's never changed. You know that picture of me as a little baby laying on a rug? Well, I'm a looking exactly the same, just to put on a pair of pants. Yes, Mama Mia, I still got the brown eyes I'ma get from you. The curly hair I'ma get from a papa. And the happy smile I'ma get from Uncle Pietro Zagotti. Of course, I got my passport a picture that was taken of me when I'm a go to America. But do you know what a passport a picture is a lookalike? Remember that time when we have a flood in our town? Well, on my passport a picture, I'ma lookalike of that sign that's to say, if this is a happened to you called the Red Cross. About a year ago, I'm almost to take a picture of myself. I'ma see a little boot that's to say, take you on a picture for 15 cents. So I'ma walk in a side and a pool of the curtain. Sign is to say, turn the little chair around so it's a go higher. Then sit down and put in the 15 cents. I think I'ma turn the chair too much, Mama Mia. The picture is to come out and all you're gonna see is in my shoes. What is the time I should go on out to my night to school or class? I'ma want to very much to send you a picture of a me here in America. So I'ma ask my teacher Miss Spalding, and maybe she's a help for me out there. America, I love you. You like a puffer to me. Promotion to ocean. All right class, quiet, quiet. Better, better. I'll call the roll. Mr. Baskill? Here. Mr. Howitz? Here. Mr. Olsen? There. Mr. Schultz? Yeah, P.I.A. Mr. Schultz? Yeah, P.I.O. Mr. Schultz, what's the big idea? I couldn't help it, Miss Spalding. I was sitting on my seat, side saddle. Thank you fellow Goobers. Who would I be a sensation in a jukebox? Mr. Schultz, fun is fun, but I won't have you disrupting the class. All right, now we'll get on with our work. I'ma Spalding. Yes, Mr. Baskill? I'ma Spalding. I'ma like a very much to take a picture of a myself. What? Luigi, you don't have to take the picture of your life. If you say you're present, the Spalding takes your world for it. Mr. Schultz, what am I going to do with you? Ooh, have I got a suggestion? Mr. Schultz? No, it's no use to beg. I'm already married. Mr. Schultz, one more interruption and I'll ask you to leave the room. The Miss Spalding, yes, you don't mind. I would like to inject my sentiment to Mr. Schultz. We have come here to this night school class to learn something, and not to fool around. Thank you. Keep the change. Luigi, what were you saying before about wanting to take a picture? Well, you see, it's a long time when my mom will not see me. I'ma come to America and she'll never see it since that time. And I want to take a picture in America and send it to her. Mr. Baskill, I know that you write to her every week. Why don't you send her a picture in your next letter? That's right, Luigi. No matter how old you are, a mother is a mother and a child is a child. And she always wants a picture. You have a jump in Yemeni that was the truth. Then I come here to Sweden. The first thing I did was to send my mother a picture of me standing at the foot of the Statue of Liberty. Ooh, that statue could only kick. Mr. Schultz, that does it. You may leave this room at once. Miss Spalding, would you believe me if I told you I was sorry? Well... From the bottom of my heart, with all my feelings, with all my thought, I tell you I am sorry. Tell me, Miss Spalding, would you believe me if I said that? Well, yes. Ooh, are you gullible? Mr. Schultz, and close the door behind you. What got into me today? I must have got a little for shimmel. Class, maybe you can help me out. Well, I can take a nice picture of myself. Something my mom and me are going to like. Well, Mr. Basker, why don't you go to a good photographer? There must be a couple in the neighborhood. Photographer? Is it cost a lot of money? Luigi, I got just a photographer for you. Last year, he took pictures of my boy, Steffens, by Mitzvah. Let's see. He took six pictures in the temple and six in the house. Oh, wait, I forgot something. What the hell do it say? Well, he wasn't doing so good in the photography business, so he sold the camera. And the pony, he uses for children ten cents a ride. That's so nice. We'll attack you anywhere, Horowitz. Miss Spalding, I got the apple for you. Could I please come in? No. Do office. No. All right, you drive a hard bargain. I'll give you the whole push-start. Mr. Schultz. Luigi, why don't you just take a picture of yourself with a little camera? Well, I'm a no-got-the-camera. Well, then buy one. That's only five or six dollars. They're real simple to operate. Maybe your friend Pasquale has one. Yeah, maybe. I'm a Oscar Pasquale. Thank you, class. You're always helping me out. Miss Spalding. Yeah? You've got to let me come in. Why must I let you in, you big baby? Because, baby, it's toward our garden. Thank you, my friend. Hello, Luigi. Hello, hello. Hello, Pasquale. Hey, Pasquale, maybe you'll do a big favor for me. I'm going to like to take a picture of myself. That's the matter. Don't you know what you look like? Yes, Pasquale. I don't know. You've got to cabbage your purse. Eyes are like a two-water melon of seeds. And in the middle is a hanging of your nose like a banana. Oh, please. Please, Pasquale, you're making me blush. I'm going to want you to shoot a snap of picture of me. Is it for my mama and me? Oh, is it for your mama? Luigi, you know I'm just playing a little snapper shot. For your mama, you want to send the knife to the fancy like a bigger portrait. I'm going to Pasquale. I'm going to get money for that. Luigi, go no further. I'm going to send the knife to all of Mr. Moneybugs himself. I'm going to see, too, that you're going to have a big, beautiful picture from the finest photographers that are going to cost you nothing. Not a one-lead send. Oh, sorry. You do this for me. Sure. Now, Luigi, I'm going to do you a favor. You do me a favor. Sure, Pasquale. What's the favor you want me to do? When do you stand in front of the photographer just to let another party stand next to you? Well, all right, Pasquale. Who's at the other party? My daughter, Rosa. Pasquale, I'm going to understand that. Why do you want your daughter, Rosa, to be standing next to me? Luigi, you're talking a foolish shit. In every wedding, the picture, the bride is standing next to the groom. Well, what do you say, my son? No, nothing to do on a papa. Besides, if I never take a picture with a Rosa, she's just so fat that you're never going to see me. Don't worry. I make it enlarge when I blow it up. Pasquale, you blow up a Rosa and you push the United States into Canada. Pasquale, believe me, Rosa isn't after for me. No, then who's she for? I don't know. I don't know either, so you stop. Luigi, you could have making your mama the happiest woman in Italy. If you mama was to get a wedding picture, you'd stand next to Rosa. What do you think it's you to think of? Jonah and a Dwell. Yes. Oh, Luigi, you're always making fun about a Rosa's of fat. Let me tell you something. When you marry a girl, you should take all you can get for those leany years. You know how they're talking about bad times? Comes a depression. You marry a skinny girl. You've got to work like a dog to feed her. My Rosa, she could go ten years without eating. Pasquale, no matter what you say, Rosa's is still away 250 pounds. Luigi, come here. I'm never told you this before. It's something of my interest to you. Rosa's away 250 pounds is a truth. Over here in America is not a much, but in England, the pound is a worth of five dollars. So what? So what? So what? Do you take a Rosa to England? You cash her in or you come back a millionaire? Me a millionaire? You lucky puppy. No, no, Pasquale, please. You've got to be all mixed up. If you don't want to take a picture of me, I'm going out to now buy my own camera and take my own picture. All right, go, go, go. I've got a good mind to... Sit down, little pumpkin ahead. What's the use of wishing to have a hard of feeling? I'm a glad to hear you talk like that, Pasquale. So, Luigi, I was just to have an idea. I've got a friend of mine. He's the runner of one of the biggest picture studios in the country. You ever hear of Bruno or Hollywood? Huh? I've survived. Well, if Tony Bruno is the countryman of mine, so happens that he's a passionate true town. And I think that for me, he's going to give you special rates. Eighty for a quarter. Eighty for a quarter? Well, don't forget, those are frames that cost money. Pasquale, that would be wonderful. And I'm a no-haver to marry, Rosa. Oh, Rosa, Rosa, Rosa. Luigi, you're making me angry all the time talking about a rose. Now go, go, take a walk. By the time you come back, I'm going to have the address and everything for you. Go, go, go. Oh, thank you, Pasquale. He always is so sweet to me. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. I'm a sweet alright. But when somebody's across from me, I'm a smell worse than a five-set cigar. Hello? Is it Tony there? Hello, Tony. I see a friend at Pasquale. And Tony telling me, what are you charging for a picture? $25, yes? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, look at Tony. I'm a standing in the fall of Don, the name of Luigi Bosco. Give him the best. Take about eight pictures and charge him four or five hundred dollars. Can he pay? Listen, Tony, this fellow Bosco has owned so much oil wells out to west. When he's a walk into the California bank, everybody's gonna say, here comes the Bosco, the Gusher. Life of Luigi continues in just a moment. But first, one of your favorite young ladies returns to CBS tonight, and we say young lady advisedly, because although she's only a teenager, her wisdom is that of a raffish matriarch. You remember Corless Archer? Enough. All we need to add is that she'll be here again just a little later tonight, filling your hearts with laughter as she confuses everyone within earshot. And you'll find as well, Hollywood comedian Eve Arden cutting another of her comic capers as our Miss Brooks, America's favorite school teacher. Corless Archer and our Miss Brooks are Sunday night features on most of these same CBS stations. And now for the second act of Luigi Bosco's adventures in Chicago, we turn to page two of his letter to his mother in Italy. And if so, Mamma Mia, I'ma never thought that I'd get in the picture for you were to make me so much the trouble. I'ma go to this Bruno Fella Pasquale who's ascending me through and he's asking me how many proofs I'm a one. I'ma tell him I'ma know I have to have a proof. If he says he's taking my picture, I'ma believe him. Then he's asking me what kind of pictures I want, a four by five, a five by seven, or eight to by ten. I'ma tell him it would be all right if he's ready, Tuesday by nine. Then I'ma give him a quarter. He's to say he's a too smaller deposit. I'ma say what the deposit? That's it to perforate the pictures. Next thing I know I'm out in the street. Anywhere I'ma sit in here worrying what to do, thinking maybe I should go out and buy a four by five dollar camera when I suddenly open up the door and a bigger wind doesn't come in. Luigi! Well, Luigi, you got a super nice picture? No. What? Pasquale, you fixed me good. You told me pictures was a cost to me only eight to four and a quarter. Your friend is to throw me out because he's to charge you most your money. I'ma never listen to you again. I wait a minute to Luigi. What time you went to Bruno? Oh, it was about a few minutes before six or after six. Well, no wonder you went there after the prices had changed. Pasquale, I don't care what's to happen. I'ma go out to write an owner buy a little camera. Wait, do you walk out of this a store that's a 20 years in a jailer for you? Huh? What's a four to Pasquale? Immigrant to buy in a camera without a license. License? No, don't even know in this country everything is a runner by a license. Man can't write the poetry unless he's to take out a poet's license. Fellow's a fighter for a living. He's a lick of people. He's got to have a lick of license. Even a dog can't be a dog in America unless he's got a dog license. Mamma mia, there's so much you to learn. Pasquale, where I can get a license to buy a camera? FBI, photo bureau of investigation. But Luigi, even if I'ma use a pole with a FBI and get you a license, a camera would still be no good for you. Where, Pasquale? Well, I'm gonna explain to you. There's all kinds of cameras. You see, for instance, there's a box of camera. You take a picture with this camera, you come out in the box and your mamma's are thinking you're in jail. Ligit the cameras you can't use. That's only for people who's less than two feet at all. Then there's a fold in the camera. That's the worst of all. Worst of all? Take a picture with a fold in the camera your faces are come out to push it in like an accordion. Pasquale, I never knew you knew so much. I never knew before you knew so much about the camera. Oh, sure. Luigi, worst thing about these little cameras is that they all have got to shutters. When you take a picture, you've got to press to the shutter. Shutter is a bad thing? Terrible! How much of your mamma's are you going to see you with your face behind the Venetian blind? But Pasquale, I'm going to have a picture for my mamma and me. What's the time we're going to do? Well, it so happens, Luigi. I'm happy to notice it in newspaper advertisement for photographer. Very cheap, but just for you. Read it for yourself. All right, then. Why worry? Be sure. Have a picture taken only $2. Acme X-ray Company. Hey, Pasquale, that's the sound of wonderful. I'm going to go right there. But hey, you think I'm going to get a good picture for $2? Sure. Go, go, Luigi. Don't worry. You go there right now. I'm going to guarantee you you're going to get a picture like you've never got it before. Excuse me. I'm Luigi Pasquale, and I'm coming here for a picture. Oh, certainly, certainly. We'll fill out your form later. My nurse is out to lunch. That's a funny kind of photography for the nurse. Now, tell me, how do you feel? I'm going to feel a fine. How do you feel? I feel fine, too. Now, Mr. Basquale, I realize that some people don't like to talk, but I must know. Where do you have your pain? I'm a guttonal pain. Well, what are you suffering from? Not the suffering. You must be. Otherwise, you wouldn't have come to me for a picture. Remember me? Every other photographer doesn't say smile. This one doesn't say something. Mr. Pasquale, it seems we don't understand each other. After all, you've come to me. There must be some emergency about the picture. That's right. Well, now we're getting at it. Tell me, have you had a break? Well, like you say in America, I'm going to never have a break. A business is a terrible. No. Now, how about a dislocation? Who knows? Maybe if I'm going to have a dislocation, a business would be better. Mr. Basquale, who sent you here? Pasquale. Oh, Dr. Pasquale from the medical building. No, plainer Pasquale from the spaghetti palace. He wants your picture? Oh, no, no. Is it for my mama? You see how I'm dressed up especially for this picture? Look at the tie, huh? You think it would come out nice in a picture? Only if it has bones. Well, Mr. Pasquale, enough questions. If you want a picture taken, I'll take it. For good. Take off your clothes. What? Take off your clothes. Please. And my mama's already got a baby picture of him. I've been doing this work for 33 years. Now, take off your shirt. No. Be sensible. Do as I say, we'll get a perfect picture of your insides. In the side of who wants to see the inside and my mama's only want to see the outside. Take off your shirt. Now, you're one of those patients who's afraid to find out what's wrong with him. Now, swallow this. Look, what is it? It's a milkshake. Please adjust to take it a picture. I don't want to lunch. Now, stand over here. Don't move. Hold your breath. I want to get that liquid perfectly. I'm going to spend the money. Go to photography. Take off my clothes. It's spending me behind a machine. It's a go-bus. And only you're going to be able to see the outside. Take off your shirt. It's a go-bus. And only you're going to be able to see the picture of a milkshake. Hey, G. Mike. Hey, look at you. Face the white, the hair stand with the tiptoe. Nose is looking at you ear. That's smart. You had to fight toward a cement mixer. Mr. Clary is the worst of them that. That a photographer, I went until he must be clueless. Liquid's a liquid's a liquid. That's all he's a know. He must think I'm an automobile because he's a pudding at least a five-gallon. That's too bad. Oh, that's nothing, Mr. Clary. Then he's a take-off from my clothes. He's a lay-me-down. Under my back, under my front. He's a take-off picture of my feet, of my hands, of my arms, of my legs, of my chest, of my back, and of my stomach. Mr. Clary, you don't believe this. But he's a take-off picture of me everywhere about to my face. That's too bad, Luigi. And that ain't enough. He's a try to sell me a set of dishes. What do you mean? He's a try to sell you a set of dishes. He's asking me how many plates I want. Luigi, all of this for $2? No, first of all, look. Look at this ability he's giving me. Let me see. Complete the X-ray examination, $100. Hey, Luigi, how you gonna pay all this money? I don't know, first of all. Looks like I'm gonna never have a picture for my mom. Oh, yes, you are, Luigi. You know pay this a bill. Man is sending you to jail. You finally gonna have a picture for your mama. Or is it gonna be little numbers dancing on the bottom? No, no, no, first of all, please help me. Sure, Luigi. I'm helping you. But there's only one little if. First of all, if you're thinking of what I'm thinking, is a bigger if. Big or little is no difference. I'm gonna call her now. Rosa. Rosa. Rosa. My little buddy boy. Rosa, say hello to Luigi. Hello, nice to meet you. Hello, Luigi, gonna be taking a wedding to pictures and a preacher's gonna make you run. What do you say to that? Beep. My two children. Now that everything is all a cat. Mr. Basko. Come on with me. The milk will shake a man. Mr. Basko, I've made a terrible mistake. If you remember, my nurse was out to lunch. She usually loads the x-ray machine. And I thought she did. And, well, we'll just have to take those pictures over again. Come on with me. Well, don't worry, Dr. Luigi. She's gonna be happy to go back with you. No, no, no, thanks. I'm gonna change my mind about those pictures. I'm gonna don't want them. Don't let them get away, Dr. Sue them for $100. No, indeed. The whole thing is due to my negligence. And if Mr. Basko was willing to forget the whole thing, so am I. I'm willing. Then I'm willing. Luigi, I'm willing, too. Oh, shut up, you faggot! And so, Mamma Mia, was a plenty of trouble to get a picture for you. But, like you can see by looking inside this letter, I'm finally got the one. I'm gonna want to trouble anybody. So I went back to this little boat to take my own picture for $0.15. This time I'm gonna make sure there's not gonna come out a picture of a just of my shoes. So I'm gonna turn the little chair down and down and down as far as it's a go. Still, I'm gonna got the nothing for you. Because all that's to come out is a picture of my hat. Nice hat, Mamma Mia. So then it shoots, it's a lend to me. Here's the camera. We got the photo which is a friend, the photographer with a little horse. He's a snap-it. And it was a spend almost a whole day for this picture. Mamma Mia, you don't believe in this. It'll take almost four hours to make about a horse smile. The Eleventh Son of Luigi Basco, the little immigrant. Life with Luigi is a Cy Howard production and is written by Mack Benhoff and Lou Derman and directed by Mack Benhoff. J. Carol Mash is starred as Luigi Basco with Alan Reed as Pasquale, Hans Connery to Schultz, Maryship is Miss Paulding, and Jody Gilbert as Rosa. Music is under the direction of Lynn Murray. Bob Stephenson speaking. For Front on the Campus, 1949 style, be sure to hear Young Love on most of the same CBS stations tomorrow night and every Monday. Young Love brings you the hilarious adventures of a young married couple trying to get an education in a college that forbids student marriages. Now stay tuned for the first of this summer's madcap adventures with Coralus Archer. Coralus Archer follows immediately on most of the same CBS stations. This is CBS Columbia, Rob Gatsby System.