 Well, here's this game. Initially, I was gonna be sick for this video, too But I did that joke three times already and y'all seem pretty sick of it the last time, so I'm fine. When I walked in the GameStop and I saw this on the shelf I knew it was going home with me, but I didn't know what to expect from the actual game I mean look at this cover art. It looks like they had a photo shoot where they took one photo and just went with that one The full title for this game is my riding stables life with horses between the title and the cover I really don't know what to expect here, so let's just boot it up and find out well Immediately this icon on the home screen looks nothing like the cover of the game It doesn't even have the name of the game on it like most icons do alright alright. I'm still gonna give it a chance Let's go ahead and Did I say I wasn't sick I'm feeling it building back up the music looping on this title screen sounds like it was downloaded illegally from limewire in 2007 what is the bit rate quality of this music like for Okay, so we have story mode and we have instant mode and you guys know me I love a good story. You know last of us God of war my riding stables life with horses Let's go with story mode. Okay, so we'll create a new profile I got a choice between a boy and a girl so I'm gonna do my best to recreate this broad right here That way it feels like I was a little less lied to also for some reason it's letting me use symbols in her name So I'm gonna put a question mark at the end Making her name Susan. All right time to pick my horse the best part of the game my life with horses So you would think naturally there's a ton of different breeds to choose from you know Yeah, yeah No, that's not it says there is but all it does is make the same horses character model Bigger or smaller if you ask me it's pretty poor effort for a game. That's all about horses. All right fine Whatever it really doesn't matter. I suppose I'll just make my horse look as nice as I can and then I'll call him Kevin With like seven exclamation marks so specifically Kevin from that one scene in home alone So from what I'm gathering here this stable is run down Then it's your job to build it back up as the whole point of the story mode and to do that You're presented with this list of tasks, which looks like it was made in Microsoft Word 2005 edition, but I mean what else do you expect at this point? Also that uh that terrible music from the title screen Yeah, that doesn't end that just keeps on looping throughout the entire game as you play. Oh Oh this hurts Next next next next come on nothing's happening the more I press next the more it loops I want to move on. I want to play the game. Oh, I had to press back I had to back out of this to play so next meant nothing next was an arbitrary word They decided to put the bottom at the screen. It didn't actually go next on to anything It just looped the same menu over and over and you had to go back to go next We're making sense My life with horses Okay, I felt like I was splitting hairs on that one I'm gonna take a step back and I'm just gonna enjoy the ride from here. See what I did there Never mind feel it. It's coming back. I'm not trying to get sick again, but this game controls So bad like I'm having flashbacks to Resident Evil 1's tank controls Well, you kind of have to look where you're going before you go forward Otherwise, you really have no idea where you're gonna end up Is anyone else like honestly, am I the only one getting motion sickness from this camera? Like the controls are so wacky that even the camera doesn't know what to do It's like it's constantly trying to focus on where you should be going But you don't go that way because of course you can't your controls are so bad It's like controlling a shopping cart with a broken wheel So the camera is just wibbly wobbling all over the place and it's honestly making me feel motion sick Maybe it's just me. It's like the start of every walking animation starts with a little slide before she takes that first step What is she wearing Heely's? All right, fine. This is probably the one nice thing I'll say about this game. This area is at least charming like it doesn't look terrible. It's not offensive to me It's kind of cute. Yeah, I mean, it's fine. That's pretty much the only nice thing I have to say about this game so far. So I guess I'll start by checking this house. Oh Geez man, come on get into that room on the right just turn into that freaking room Come on, man. I just can't with these controls. Okay. Finally. I'm in the room. Hope it was worth the trouble I have a bed. I can sleep in and I have a wardrobe. I can change my clothes. Well, I'll be I guess move over Red Dad Redemption I have a new camp to stay in and by stay in I probably mean literally since I had so much trouble getting in the room What are my chances of getting back out of it? Actually, I figured out that walking backwards in this game is a lot easier than walking forwards Like it might look like I'm trying to get up these stairs, but in reality I'm just trying to turn around and leave this house. Okay So in this area I can do mini games with the horses like this one I have to stop the horse when it gets to a checkpoint. It's the closest thing to a game I've played so far, but it's hideously boring. All I have to do is press a direction and then you guessed it Let go when I'm in the checkpoint. This first one I nailed because I mean how hard can it be? When you turn the horse left and right in this area, there's no animation for the horse actually turning around It just flips the JPEG image of the stupid horse. It looks ridiculous It reminds me of the way that old YouTube series Charlie the unicorn was animated Shun the non-believer Shun Weirdly now this mini game has become impossible Whereas before the horse stopped on a dime now when I let it go It walked half the circle before it finally decides to slow down and come to a halt for the life of me I could not hit this checkpoint a second time and I do not care enough to try anymore I spent way too long trying to find my horse, but finally finally here He is tucked behind this corner now the excitement can begin now the riding side of it comes in the place surely if I can Just get up on the back of the horse here if I can just if you can just stay still for a second there Kevin I'd appreciate it if you just want to stop moving every single time I try and Kevin Kevin Kevin end of the day What is this on my screen? I have a new oh, I guess this game's on a day and night cycle And it just restarted the day on me putting me back inside my room It's fine try this one more time Apparently I couldn't ride Kevin here because he's a dirty boy literally look at his hygiene bar. That's a dirty boy. I Guess the next part of this game that you can actually call a game is cleaning up old Kevin here If you thought the mini games from before were boring It gets better in this part of the game you just use that a long stick in your drag a brush over horse parts This takes Way too long, and then you have to clean each one of his hooves individually. This is the most fun I've ever had in a video game Considering how long it takes to clean up your horse They could have worked on a longer idle animation for the thing it resets every few seconds And it's so painfully noticeable when you're stuck here doing this for an hour Oh It's fine my horse is clean and the saddle is on he's got flowers in his hair, and he just doesn't care It's finally time finally time to go ride Oh, it's getting better already. We have a brand new music track to listen to I mean It's pretty much the same crap, but it sounds just as bad, but it's different Don't mind me. I'm just looking for gold or a different game just something that was worth my 30 bucks So the riding part of the game which for some reason I thought would maybe be a free roam I just get to ride my horse around no It's actually on rails and all you have to do is time your jumps over these hurdles That's the game, but it gets even worse. So you span the a button to go faster, which is fine I'm good with that But you're also supposed to hit it left trigger and right trigger at the same time to jump these hurdles But no matter what I do I cannot jump one of these freaking hurdles I've tried everything in my skill set waiting until what feels like the appropriate time before pressing and then I try pressing it a Little bit earlier than that and then I tried pressing it at the wire to see if it's a split second thing I didn't do anything. So I tried riding a little slower. I tried riding a little faster And I just can't I keep missing jump off the jump off the jump off the jump. This is a children's game Why can I do this? What am I missing am I pressing the wrong buttons? I've tried everything. I've tried motion controls Nothing seems to work What makes this even worse is when you fail three times in a row It doesn't just put you back to the start of the race No, it kicks you out of this entire part of the minigame It throws you into a loading screen and puts you back in the stables You have to awkwardly try and turn the take controls around or walk backwards into the icon to start it again Sit through another loading screen only to fail three more times because the damn thing isn't registering any jump I try and make I can't take it anymore. I just gotta pause the game. I gotta walk away. I should say Wait a second, did I just see What So when you pause the game It doesn't actually pause the game as a whole the games ecosystem doesn't come to a grinding whole instead I guess it just freezes the horse in place the horse stops moving But everything else does like you can see off to the left here. The grass is still moving But what's freaking hilarious is they didn't freeze the animation of your character riding the horse So every time you pause the game while riding the horse. She's just there bouncing up and down Never have a look at her riding animation It's like one second long because they actually only animated her going up They couldn't even be bothered to animate her going back down They just reset that animation and had it started again from the bottom so you can see her teleport back down and jump back up again really How hard would it have been to have finished the animation you started? I feel like every single aspect of this game was half baked and undercooked No, no no no no no no no I'm not gonna let this game beat me I am going to at least figure out how to jump a hurdle because to say that this is the worst switch game That's a huge claim. There are some terrible games out there WWE 2k 18 trollin I and of course Oh, there's a lot of competition so to truly claim that this is the worst game. I At least have to finish this all right last attempt I'm gonna give this everything I've got to try and clear a hurdle don't mess up Don't mess up. Don't mess up. Don't mess up. Oh, no, it's like myself out I I pressed it when the actual icons came up on the screen way too well wait a second wait Wait a minute. Okay, so it turns out you're supposed to press it as soon as it shows you the icon depressor on the screen Even though it's way sooner than the actual job. I'm not kidding I can press this put the controller down and still have it jump Did anyone play this while it was in development and did anyone care? This is supposed to be a game in the one part that's supposed to be enjoyable where the only game mechanic is jumping over these hurdles You have me lock in my jump beforehand so it auto registers when I get to the fence. Are you serious? Okay, well wait, can we just stop the video for a second and rewind the take? Oh Man, I hate to break the fourth wall But I'm editing the video right now and I'm seeing this for the first time Looks like there's a split second during some of these jumps where her legs snaps upwards towards the sky I'm sorry. I don't know if it's because it's 2 a.m. Or because I've been editing this thing for way too long I'm losing my mind over this is All right, whatever back with the video. Oh, I can't believe this next part Oh now that I know how to do these jumps as soon as I passed that last hurdle That would always get me and I couldn't make my way past it because of the three failing system as soon as I passed that hurdle The game starts to chug big time and I don't know why because there isn't much happening on this screen right now It's not that intense of a game Especially when all your animations loop every two seconds the game doesn't have to process much and yet it still Manages to slow down to a crawl Look how slow the horse jumps over these hurdles and I am not kidding They have actually removed my ability to go faster at this point You know how earlier on that first stretch I could spam a to go faster Well, even on long stretches of path in this part of the game I can't go faster anymore because the game knows if I was able to go any faster than this It would probably just crash and burn my switch would blow up and my house would melt down This game can't handle going any faster because it can't even handle going at a trot Can you imagine if it tried going at a gallop? Oh, no, that's it. That's it I finished and I don't and I don't just mean this race. I know I mean I am finished with this I I don't never want to see this again. I never want to touch this again I never want to even think about this again. I'm hesitant to even say it's the worst game on the switch because it's not a game I don't care what anyone says I know there's bad games on every system and I know that switch has its fair share of bad games Heck I reviewed a few of them, but this is the worst I can't even say it. This is the worst thing on the switch and whatever anyone says they're wrong This is the worst thing on the switch and I'll let you know when that changes I feel dirty. I feel like I have to shower I'm all sweaty if you thought kevin's hygiene levels were bad Just count yourself as lucky that you can't see mine right now If you enjoyed this video, make sure you have the lip all over that subscribe button Click the top on this video right here because I'd appreciate it