 Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim. Aum Dallilah, yirum pila lamin. La huma de soleilase. Y dinam Muhammadin wa al-ihiwa. Wa al-ihiwa. Salam. Salam al-ihim. How are you? Al-ihim. Salam. How are you? Very good. Thank you very much for giving me the opportunity and giving me your time to interview you today for the MCC, the Ramadan for Converts. Thank you very much. It's so nice to see you. So nice to see you again. Thank you very much for the invitation to the interview. My pleasure. Most of the interview will be in Spanish because we are Latin. You are from Mexico. You are Mexican. Your mom and your dad. I am Mexican apart from my mom and Salvadoran apart from my dad. So both of us are Latin. So we want to do the interview in Spanish. But there is no limitation. So if we want to speak part in English, it's totally fine. So to give you a little context, I know you since 2019. I think we met in Mexico. Yes. And then you got to know each other when you got to know each other. And by God's will you could spend more time with each other after you got to know each other. I'm very glad that you are part of my life. You are very involved in each other's lives. And God's will keep it that way for many, many, many years until we have our kids. And they have their kids, God's will. So we started with the first question. Okay, thank you. So you are our guest of honor. So I'm going to ask the questions. I think you can take over the show. First question is Tell us a little bit about you. Like the importance of you, who you are and how long you've been a Muslim. This Ramadan that we are right now, it's to be 23 or 24 Ramadan that is the first thing the second or third thing and whatever you want to agree to. Okay, well, as you said, I took my shahada in July 2019, and well, we have been Muslims since then, in the name of Allah. So I have been Muslim for three and a half years, so this is my third Ramadan. Yes, because I took my shahada, I think, shortly after that Ramadan had ended. So, well, that's why I didn't get it, and it should be like the fourth, but well, it's just my third Ramadan. And what else can I add? Well, I was born and grew up in Mexico all my life. Well, really, I am the only Muslim in my family, in my environment, in Mexico, in school. Well, there was no space where I could learn Islam before until I found it in my house. It was from a family that had passed away, and it was the most unpredictable way that I could. Because my environment really had nothing to do with Islam, and I had a way of finding it. It's beautiful when you don't look at that opportunity that Allah has planted in your life to be able to learn Islam. It's so beautiful. Because when I think about it, as you said, there would have been no other way to learn Islam. It's like, that's for you. It's so beautiful. It's really nice to see that. And your parents now, what is your third Ramadan? They recognize you more or less and act as if they were with you, knowing that it's your third time being a Muslim, even though you're the only Muslim. I've met your parents. Your mom is very, very pretty. She's very sweet. Is that kind of with you? My mom always tried to be with me as her dinner for my time to have breakfast. I mean, having breakfast to accompany me in some way. And they tried to do as much as possible. Even though they weren't always as romantic as they were always going to be, they also had moments of reflection or challenge, because it's not always easy for the family to understand what's going on. So when my sister saw me decorate, she didn't understand why you decorate. I mean, it's not Christmas or anything like that. So it's like breaking the illusion that everything is going to be alright, or how we think about it in our minds, but Allah has different ways of reaching people's hearts. And maybe we have to put our part to explain a little more to our family. We would like to say that they're going to accept it on the first day, and everything is going to be happy, but it's a little harder for them to understand what's going on from one day to the next. So sometimes it's hard for them to understand how you're having breakfast, and you're not going to eat with us, or especially because I was in charge of the food at home. It was like, oh, well, it's like they took a little bit out of you. But it's part of the process, isn't it? I prefer that little by little they can absorb things and that I, in fact, have the patience to explain to them. And now, as you said, little by little you're creating traditions. And this would be my first Ramadan out of my house with my mother, now already married, where she is. So now I'm Latino, immigrant, in the United States, Muslim, all these categories. Well, my tradition was, I don't want to spend all my celebrations without my family, even if they don't celebrate it. And even if I don't celebrate their traditions or their parties, even if I could have the space of your family nearby, then I decided to invite my mother for the last few days so that she can be in Shawda. And I can see, okay, not only the part that she already knows about Ramadan, but that she also sees Eid with all the color, not only when I was at home trying to celebrate it alone, but here I can see all the colors, all the flavors that Eid has, that I can really experience the other side of Ramadan. Okay, once it's over, what happens? How do you celebrate it? So that they don't have the idea that, oh, poor things, they don't celebrate Christmas with their little tree. And it's so sad for them, there's just one. So I can see, okay, not only do we celebrate it, we celebrate this party and what do we do? You should be a part of both sides. And not only do you see it as very harsh, right? Yes, exactly, as you say, especially being ... I think, as you don't know very much about Islam, many times when you ask people about Ramadan, specifically, they just know that we are celebrating, right? Then, as you said, It's like it's very gloom and doom, like, oh, no puedes comer o, pero este es muy, este en poder enseñarles esta parte como tú dices, it's beautiful, y es genial lo que vas a hacer, para dar a tu mamá aquí, que mire las fiestas, que mire cómo celebramos, it's beautiful, they'll reward you for that, es algo que es muy lindo, y este, it's really nice, para, me imagino tu mamá siendo tan linda como es que te van a cantar, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, y, erel para aquí and your mom will see many Muslims having fun, families, food, everything, very festive and it's going to be very nice. Because yes, definitely I understand what you're saying. For example, here, now, Hamdrela, this is going to be my seventh Ramadan, I think. Or maybe my eighth. And now we have the tradition of decorating every year and being, for example, this year, my children told me, let's put the calendar to put the sweets and every time we open the breakfast, we can grab a candy. So we've done that tradition, right? But at first it was more difficult, as you say. That's a reality, I think that when I think about it, sometimes I can feel it like yesterday, right? Being the only one celebrating, feeling like sometimes you're this little light and you're trying to keep it bright, but sometimes it's difficult, right? But one keeps trying, keeps trying, and then the years go by and you develop what it is right now. For example, we're making our own traditions of how to do this to a witness, being a Latina, being a Comber, being a Muslim. And for example, I'm thinking of you and your husband as, I imagine, and if God wills, I hope to be there all the years from now, I think that your family is developing, looking at the traditions that you make between your husband and also how each year is developing differently. And talking about that, one of the questions I wanted to ask you, how are we doing on this topic right now, we, for example, don't have so many traditions in Ramadan as someone who has been born into a Muslim family, for example, a friend of ours, for example, your husband, who was born into a Muslim family from a young age, his mother said his traditional things and then when he grew up, he said, oh, my mom used to do this, I'm going to do this, right? And also like this, with several people the same, we have to do our own things. So what are some of the traditions of Ramadan that you want to start for yourself? For example, your mother, you plan to do it every year, or what things do you want to do for Ramadan? Well, as you said, I also had my calendar that I did myself because in Mexico I couldn't find any type of decoration. Chans in Amazon, you can, I don't know, but every night after obviously breaking breakfast, I had my list of the 99 attributes of Allah and then I would go through every night three and I mean, I would add the previous ones, right? So as to be able to go through and even not having done that and not having made sure to have prayed a bit of Tarawih, obviously alone because it was very far away from the mosque, but if not alone, I would have made sure that at least I prayed extra after going there and once I had done that, I would have put the little star in every night, right? So it's like part of what traditions I started doing alone in those two Ramadan that I had, what food I liked to prepare, right? So it's retaking that and it's like a challenge, too, to be able to maintain those little traditions that you have as a conversation. After that, being in a family or getting married, right? So they combine two traditions, but make sure that you have yours, you have your own identity as a Muslim, as a Reaver, and do your thing, because I feel that if you just absorb the traditions of others without feeling yours or without forming yours, you can feel a bit like a stranger, like a stranger. So making sure to have the kind of food that I made, so it was something very simple, right? Or I always liked to make a bread velvet cake, so I made it, I decorated it. So these are very small traditions, now I'm going to have my mom, but like you start building your identity as a Muslim, right? I mean, we weren't born Muslims, we didn't grow up Muslims, I, lately, I relate it a lot with a new childhood, right? I mean, I, being a Muslim, would be a 3-year-old girl. So that 3-year-old girl, what is she absorbing? What is she living? What is she learning? And she compares with the other adult person, who already had experience in another religion, in another belief. So these two girls and adults combine in one, what happens, right? That's like the result of our new identity, our new identity, like built. So it's important that we have our own, traditions, whether it's like Latin, we say, okay, where is our food? Not everything is Samosas, or I don't know what other traditional food is always in Ramadan. I really liked that in the mosque in Mexico, I imagined that lifting was going to be the typical thing, right? I mean, I didn't, and I liked it a lot to see, well, in the new lifestyle that I had, that it was Mexican food, and I said, yes, there's no, there's no specific type of food to Ramadan, right? So, doing it with our recipes, our food, is totally valid, right? Ramadan doesn't have specific recipes. It's all in the recipe, right? Exactly, right, I agree. That's what you said perfectly. I tried to explain that vision, like a little girl being a Muslim young woman, and you did it perfectly, Hamdorella, that you feel like you're a Muslim, depending on when the shahara was taken, and in that, yes, I believe in the memories, I believe in the years that follow, it's set it beautifully, and I think it's like starting again. I mean, it is, right, when you take your shahara, you start again with your statement of faith, but being able to do new things in your life, how are you going to change things and your own traditions, speaking of Mexican food, today a few friends came to my house for F-Tar, and I was thinking, what am I going to cook? I said, I'm going to make chicken wings, I'm going to put them in the air fryer, and then suddenly, I don't know why my mind is full of soups. And I was like, oh my gosh, I'm going to make soups. So my mom, as I live here with me, she's going to make this tortilla, she's going to make the soup, and we're going to make soups. So the sisters who are going to come, one is Latin, the others are not Latin. So, yes, to say that, and they also know why none is what is considered, this, how do you say, typical of a Muslim, right? None are what people who do not understand Islam, in their minds what they think is typical of a Muslim, none are of these ethnicities or countries. So they're going to recognize that, oh, you're making them your flavor, it's beautiful, right? And I'm still looking forward to eating soups when the time comes to finish the meal. Yes, exactly, that's like the beauty of Islam, that there are all kinds of colors of nationalities, and it's like our task for us and for the others, to form those new traditions, and to be able to share it with them, I think it's very important, before learning about other cultures, or especially sharing, right? That's right, I agree, I agree. And so, now I want to, if you can, with your permission, to share with us your first Ramadan. How did you feel? I know that, as you said, when you took your shahara, it was very close to the time of Ramadan, it wasn't officially your first Ramadan. So, the first Ramadan where you observed it, and you said, how did you feel? How did you feel before starting Ramadan? For example, some anxieties, some kind of fears that you had, possibly, and also, what do you remember more about that first Ramadan? Before I took my shahara, for some reason, I wanted to try to have breakfast, and I remember that it was so easy, like by the will of Allah, that I said, okay, then I can do this. I mean, I don't know if it's like my last fears, or last worries before taking the shahara, and it was so easy that I said, then I can do it. And, Alhamdulillah, that took away from me that bad expectation of fear, of not being able to do it, insecurity. So, the other situation was that COVID arrived, and at the beginning I said, well, now I'm not going to be able to take the shahara, I'm going to feel alone, but Alhamdulillah, the plan of Allah is always better, because thanks to that I was able to meet so many people online, especially in the area. Every Wednesday, Talif had a prayer circle, and there I was connected from day one. I found that company that Allah had destined for me, and now that I look back and say, it's nothing, because that COVID was for everyone, but for each one, it was planned in a very special way, the same time that it was planned for everyone, like Allah is the best of planners. And that's why my Ramadan was so special, because I could share with all these new people, and these new people welcomed me so warmly. I also found another group of Embrace, so Saturdays I was connected in the morning, just like I knew more, Reverts. I had the whole company I needed, that I wouldn't even have had in Mexico, if there hadn't been COVID. So I had more company with COVID than if there hadn't been COVID. Wow. So, really, I had that kind of expectation every night, okay, I'm going to connect, or even if it had only been once a week, well, I had the opportunity to clear myself from school, because I was at the university, also online, and that was another blessing, because Allah made it easy for me, instead of sending me every morning at 5 in the morning, having breakfast at school, I kept myself at home, it was easier to pray, to have breakfast, to study, for everything, it made it easier for me. Hamdolah. Hamdolah, so, I was able to be in the perfect conditions in my first Ramadan, and then, physically, it was easy for me, what we usually do, I found out what recipes worked best for me for my Suhur, for the Iftar, to know that, okay, if, obviously, the first times in Iftar, I wanted all the desserts, and then I realized, okay, the sugar makes me feel worse the next day, so, like, to know your body as well, Hamdolah, I mean, not only, I mean, obviously, we seek the spiritual part, but it even helps you to know your body, it makes me feel good, it makes me feel bad, to listen, or to be able to understand more how our body works, and then that Ramadan was very beautiful, even though I was at home all the time, I didn't go out for anything, and, well, even there, it was my first day at home, and even so, I felt good, I mean, I felt that emotion of, okay, somehow, like, Allah sent me that, like, happiness, and even though I was the only person there, well, I mean, there is when you understand how you're never alone, Allah, like, India is always near, so, no matter if you're alone, no matter if the situation that is COVID or not, worked in the perfect way for me, and, well, yes, now it's like, just the, now that I'm not alone, like, how do I share it, because that's also another challenge, right? I mean, we, many things we want, nothing more for us, and above all, something spiritual, which is new for us as reverts, and then having what to share costs, because it's like, no, this is mine, I didn't share it with my family, and now I have to share it, sometimes it's a little difficult, but... I agree, I agree, because my husband, too, when we both got married around the same time, for the work of God, being very good friends, I think it was beautiful, that we had this opportunity, and I remember that the other time we were praying, my husband told me, he wants to pray, and I said, no, I want to pray, I'm alone, not the prayer that touches us almost five times a day, but rather, doing a du'a, because, as you say, there are some things that we are used to more than ourselves, and yes, it's a while to share and make that connection, right? I have to connect with God, with my husband, but it's also something good to have that, I feel like they have that, and I think you feel the same, in having that relationship with God, just us, you know, I hear God, just like give me some time, just me and God. I don't know if it's for the camera, but let me do it. Okay, perfect. And something else, hey, when you mentioned that, that, look, every week, you went to the meeting with Tatlif, who is here in Fremont, that they had, it was like, perfect, what they did during Ramadan, to do everything online, and the community that was together was so beautiful, and he said something that is, let me pack up, I don't remember if it's an adit, or if it's something that is in the Quran, but the verse says, if you do something regularly, you have more blessings in that, right? And it's like, you're proof of it, every week you went to the meeting, and you got a lot of benefits, and it's something that our Islamic traditions give us, and we see the fruit of that, we see the blessings of that. It's very, very beautiful, and I think it's so interesting, as you said, that that time in Mexico, obviously there was the mosque, but it wasn't very close, right? But part of the mosque, obviously it doesn't look like many Muslims in all of Mexico, and Allah put us in a situation, He put you in a situation that you surrounded yourself with a lot of Muslims internationally, instead of in your own city, and I think it's beautiful, like, yeah, it's just, when you think about it, the bigger picture is like, oh, that's so beautiful, it's mashallah, it's a blessing. I was able to get to those Muslims who weren't close to me, thanks to that situation, I'm sorry. And from what you said a little bit, there wasn't such a difficult time for activity, because it wasn't a challenge that much, because you had practiced before, so I'm thinking that that, if it wasn't a challenge, then tell me if there was a challenge, there was a challenge that you had during Ramadan, or something that you were facing in Ramadan during that time, or if there was something that was common. Well, yes, I had like all of them, well, like many of them could also be afraid that I'm going to have the same concentration in work or school, and I do remember like, well, I don't know, having online exams or doing my homework, sometimes, obviously, like our brains need sugar, right? Or whatever, but after being able to focus on me, the state of Ayuno really helped me, because I'm usually multitasking, so if I'm doing a task, I'm not concentrating on anything else, but when I was doing it, well, at that time, my brain only had energy for one activity, it allowed me to finish my tasks or my exams before, instead of being disconcentrating, so it worked as a challenge, but at the same time it was an advantage that by having less energy, I could concentrate more on one thing instead of being in a thousand different activities, right? So, that and, well, I mean, at least for me, cooking made me a special moment for me, because, really, well, yes, you're with the food in front of you, but I didn't feel that torture, that I couldn't eat it, but it was like my connection with the food, that I had never been so grateful to be able to cook, to be able to have that food to eat, to break Ayuno with that, so it's like my way of connecting with those blessings of the food, and not just seeing it as, well, I got to my plate, right? It was my way of really connecting with that part, and since then, my relationship with the food has improved a lot, right? Because before, it was very... How to say it? Well, we always have these influences of... of what is the ideal body, and since I started to eat, I started to understand the different concepts of how to eat like a Muslim, a third of the water part, a third of the food part, a third of the air part, and that's where my relationship with the food improved a lot, my relationship with my image, and the truth that transforms into many areas of your life. I agree. You know, Tupano, that's been a challenge for me in trying to follow that journey, right? The Prophet Muhammad SAW, that, as you say, it's a third of water, a third of food, a third of air, because being coming from a family, we're used to eating a lot, because we're going to... There are many other traditions of different countries, but it takes discipline, right? So I think that, I don't want you to come for many years, because you're just your third Ramadan, and you're already applying that more, and I feel that this is my first Ramadan, where I honestly feel that I'm coming... I'm thinking about that, about reducing the amount of food and not getting tired, as it's said, right? And how long? How many years for me to be able to think like, oh, you know, honestly I have to think about, you know, that Hadid, and think about the food I'm eating, and it feels better, it feels like you don't have that desire, or sometimes it feels like a slave, oh, I have to eat, I have to eat, and applying that Hadid, you feel like a relief, you know, like I don't have to feel like I have to continue eating, to continue eating, it feels very good. And another thing that you've said earlier about the sugar, this Ramadan is one of the first Ramadan where I noticed that my energy level is extremely higher than when I'm eating, and from what I've been reading, and from many sisters who I know, who tell me that they cut a lot of carbohydrates, not like a lot of carbohydrates, but that they cut sugar, I feel like that really is helping me with my health, as you say, and I come by the means of eating, to be able to know these things, to eliminate food, because there are people like me who don't have much discipline with food, that say hello, help me and forgive me, but now that I have to eat, I'm forced to be in a situation where I have to have that discipline, because I have to do it for God, and there are benefits, right? As you say, and I love it, because now, Insha'Allah, if God gives me the power and the ability, I want to reduce the amount of sugar I consume, and also the amount of carbohydrates, because I recognize that this is affecting me, and my energy level is greatly affected, and with three children I have all the energy that I can have, so these are things that I'm looking at right now, but Insha'Allah, I hope to carry it over after Ramadan, with the help of God, of course. Insha'Allah, yes. Yes, that's what happened to me when, because it's like a cycle, right? You can say that I'm going to take the intention or the decision to improve this aspect of my life, but it's like a process, so when I noticed that I'm not filling myself, I'm not filling myself, I'm eating, eating, eating, and even so, I'm still hungry, I said, I have to eat, and I was already eating, and it was like a reset, my body began to understand again, okay, I already ate, I already feel full, and it was like I was breaking that cycle of I need more, I need more, I need more. So Insha'Allah, it's like that reset that our body, our physical body needs, I don't even need to talk about how the spiritual part is. Yes, it's exactly another benefit that comes from having breakfast. So, I think this is going to be the last question, or the last question to be able to finish the interview, so that we can also do what we have to do to prepare for the Leftar, because you already have less hours before the Leftar comes here, I still have more hours left. So, tell us about a memory or a moment in some Ramadan, or a memory of some Ramadan that is very special to you, because as we had said, not only making traditions, but also memories, because for example, I think something very important is the memories that we can think of. Oh, I remember this Ramadan, it's very important for us, it's being converted, so for you at the moment, what did you tell us about a memory that was very special to you? Okay, so I think my second Ramadan, and COVID was a little more accessible, so I had the opportunity to travel and stay at your house, so that was my second Ramadan, and then I was able to meet all the people who only saw online, from the Zoom calls and from Tali, so I remember that night that night I was in Ought Night, so I think it was the 27th or something like that, and we went to Tali to Leftar, so I remember that I said, okay, I'm allowed to not have breakfast, but I said, I want to have breakfast, I want to keep my breakfast, even if it's about two hours extra from my usual time, to be able to break the breakfast with everyone in Tali, so I kept the breakfast, I never felt, I mean, of the easiest breakfasts I had, I mean, I felt so calm, so good, I had breakfast, and well, we went to Tali, and on that same trip, I made the decision to finally tell my dad that I had converted to Islam, because I had not told him, I was just trying to wait for him to never ask me why he covered me with a turban, every time I saw him outside, so I made the decision to send him a letter just before going to take the flight, so that day and that night I had a lot of blessings, because I obviously took that leap of faith to send that letter to my dad, to be able to meet everyone, all those who had met me in Tali, so that, that Iftar, that Qiyam, that odd night, Insha'Allah, I hope it has been one of those Laylatul Qadr, because it is one of the blessings I have had the most. So, we were in that Iftar, I was enjoying it a lot, because I was meeting everyone, finally in person, I was already with Muslims, with me, after being alone in my first Ramadan, and in one moment of pause between the Tarawee and the other, I got the answer from my dad, because obviously I was very afraid of what he was going to tell me, and I had made a lot of prayers, because he would answer me well and take it well, and that was one of the blessings that answered me well, and I was proud, and Alhamdulillah, I can't explain the happiness I felt that night, of being a whole peace, and that's what Islam always brings us, like the peace of being with Muslims, the peace of being content with everyone, with our family, like it was a weight that took away from me, or that my dad finally knows that I'm Muslim, I don't have to hide anymore, so that's like one of the blessings, and it's my most special memory of all of Ramadan. My God, so beautiful. I remember that I was with you, and I remember that you told me about your dad, but you hadn't told me that it was that night, like it's so many blessings. Yes, and inshallah looking forward for more, like beautiful memories. Alhamdulillah, I look forward to seeing you in one of the Ramadan, I know that you live here in the United States, you're in Jersey, but you're not very far from me, and I hope to see you, inshallah, in a year, or that the family is together, the family is together with my family, and that we spend a few days of Ramadan together, inshallah, and that we can make more memories, and as I said, your house here, also your second house here in the area of the Bahia, and we'll wait for you to come back. Yeah, I can't wait, inshallah. Thank you. Thank you so much for this interview with me, and give me your time, because I know that time has a lot of value, especially during Ramadan, all these blessings that God gives us, and all the good things that we do are multiplied, because they are very blessed months, so I'm so glad that I have the opportunity to talk to you, and to relive these memories, and that God bless you and your family, and may Allah allow us to know each other, inshallah, forever, and that we can't meet again, in Yenah, inshallah. Thank you so much for everything. Any words before we start? What would you like to say? No, as we said, that they build their own memories, that they treasure in those new memories that they are going to create, and that Allah doesn't forget how difficult or easy it is for us, especially when it comes to conversing, Allah doesn't take for granted our efforts, especially when it comes to reversing. I feel, and I hope, and I know that we have so much more rewards for our resilience and patience, inshallah. Inshallah. And with that, thank you so much. Very beautiful words with what to say. You can't talk to anything else. So from here, I guess we will say, I will say, As-salamu alaykum, thank you first of all for everything, and I hope to see you around, and inshallah, we'll talk soon. Alaykum As-salam, inshallah. Alaykum As-salam, adios.