 My name is Anish Gill-Fulbright and I want to be president of these United States Now it seems that every candidate's got some kind of gimmick these days. So here's mine. I Will be 100% honest with you about everything Face it. I am a puppet for special interests and lobbyists and I will break any campaign promises that rub my donors the wrong way I guarantee it But I will do it straight to your face Now friends as a lifelong Republican or Democrat whoever's picking up the tab I Have traveled all over this great country of ours and pretended to listen to people I listen to them as they talk about our broken political system or the liberals They like to complain about evil corporations buying politicians putting profits ahead of what is best for our country Conservatives are upset about high taxes and wasteful spending and a government that's out of touch with the people But the truth is Our government is working and I know regular people say it's not working for me Well to the special interest to bankroll my campaign. It's working up a treat my friends Now I know this crowd they want a small government that doesn't interfere with their lives But friends big moneyed interest. They love a big expensive government. It pays for example the last few years 200 big companies have invested more than five billion dollars in lobbying and campaign contributions and for that they get 4.4 trillion dollars in Taxpayer money and this is going to be spent on subsidies pork projects private contracts union handouts alike Now these companies are donating right now to most of the Republican candidates Promising to reduce the size of government and cut wasteful spending But they're also donating right now to most of the Democratic candidates promising to stand up to the power of big corporations Now it's this kind of bipartisan leadership that we need Members of both parties coming together to compromise their most heartfelt beliefs in exchange for some money Now this is the part of the speech where I vaguely mentioned policy ideas that later you can't hold me accountable for I have solutions Solutions like repealing Obamacare and replacing it with bigger handouts for insurance providers and drug companies My friends I have a plan to fix immigration But I don't know what it is yet because I cannot find a donor who specializes in building big walls or retractable domes But soon as I do trust me. I'll make that work. I Think it's time that we shore up our military's defense contractors Now if the Navy in the army, they don't want aircraft carriers filled with exciting laser tanks Well, that's just what they're going to get And friends it is this kind of cronyism that our government excels at as some president said once I I'm paraphrasing here. Ask not what your country can do for you Pay a lobbyist to ask your country what it can do for you Now there are some naysayers out there to say that I can't win Some claim that I'm fake Some say that I'm making a mockery of the entire political process Well friends, these are just strong traits that I share with many of my fellow candidates Now others have pointed out that I'm not actually on the ballot anywhere, but despite this obstacle I'm still in a dead heat with Lindsey Graham But the truth of the matter is the competition are stiffs. I'm the competition is stiff Excuse me Take Jeb Bush Now there's a guy who's raised hundreds millions of dollars without saying anything of any appreciable substance His donors actually call him a straw man stuffed with cash And then there's Hillary now she's smart. She's full of good ideas. I'm just not sure what they are They probably got erased with her email history My hat's off to both of them because they can fundraise. Oh man, can they fundraise and that's what it's all about In fact, this is true the same lobbying firm that raises money for Hillary Clinton is also raising money for Jeb Bush John Kasich and Marco Marco Margot Rubio My point is and I do have one. In fact, I will say anything to get your money There it is Liberty Eagle while Reagan Thank you the flag. Yeah, American flag even All of us establishment politicians. Well, we're all the same we give lip service to this money issue But behind closed doors in the back rooms We're making some deals. Yeah, now the difference the Gil Fulbright difference is I promise to make those backroom deals in the front room outdoors Whatever well now obviously I need that normal people to think that I care about them because the donors love that they love that And you know, we always have some sort of five-point plan to do something good. So here is my five-point plan Number one first. I propose that all Americans be independently wealthy Trust me. That's a great way to get hurt It's a great way because you can donate tons of money to campaigns and super PACs and trust me people will listen Second be a lobbyist Lobbyist they get to get cozy with politicians They actually get to write laws and they generally they just have a fistful of our legislators Right by the bills Third Don't not be a lobbyist. This is very important Because if you are not a lobbyist in the first place, you know, you can't be one if you're not a lobbyist in the first place It makes you think don't it And and fourth For goodness sake have a skybox seat to some red-skinned. Yes, would you you know and fill that sucker up with cocktail weenies? Well, I love cocktail weenies really I would hand over the nuclear codes for a plate full of cocktail Now that is my five-point plan And it takes concrete steps to make sure that we can foster even more lucrative political corruption Now, of course, there are those who want to stop this corruption corruption. Can you believe that they want to end the party in Washington? This would be a disaster for politicians like me if legislators can't be bought then we would have some sort of Constitutional Republic where any Joe six-pack or Susie boxed wine has a voice in government Do you really think that our founding fathers? wanted a government of Four by four the people, you know, no no one would put that many propositions in a sentence Don't make sense bad writing so I'm here today to challenge My fellow candidates both sides of the aisle. I want them to pledge to do nothing do nothing sign my Pledge do nothing keep taking money from special interests and lobbyists keep that sweet sweet cash flowing Keep paying lip service to the issue of corruption, but don't do anything about it for goodness sake Let's keep the party going in Washington. I'm having a grand time And I'm proud to announce almost all the candidates have implicitly signed this pledge And I want to thank them for their continued support. I mean the blank stare I take is a yes And finally my friends The American people they're speaking loud and clear. They're sick of politicians Who say one thing and then do another the sick cronies who sell them out behind their back? And they're sick of fake politicians who make a mockery of our government. It's time to do something real about it So I want you to remember that straw poll we get the chance again tomorrow vote for Guilfaube, right? Right, my name in the ballot listen to measures loud and clear We do not want another spineless mouthpiece for special interest and lobbyists We would like a spineless mouthpiece for special interest and lobbyists My name is honest Guilfaube right and I want to be your next spineless president. Thank you. God bless you It's honest Guilfaube right and this is what I like If you want to throw some money at me go to our Indiegogo page so we can make more of these videos. Thanks