 Hello everyone welcome to the Narc Survival YouTube channel. Before I begin please hit that thumbs up button down below. Very important as it will help the YouTube algorithm to get this message out there to other survivors. This is why you feel crazy around a narcissist. How you feel when you're dealing with a narcissist is typically how they want you to feel. Narcissists do not value authenticity or genuine emotion or self-expression. They are emotional manipulators. They use your emotions to get what they want, steer your behavior and influence your ideals so that it facilitates their personal objectives. They're manipulating you. They're positioning you to their aim and purpose just as an artist manipulates a lump of clay with their hands into a piece of pottery. The narcissist is gradually turning you into someone you're not, someone who you weren't before dealing with them because they want to control your journey through life. But it may be difficult for them to physically position you where they want you to be. So instead they resort to emotional manipulation where they seek to influence and control your emotions so that it affects your actions and behaviors. They will manipulate you into thinking that they are the perfect partner for you. Even though they may never have even considered your needs or even asked you what exactly you're looking for in a partner. They will jump the gun without even thinking about it and assume that they are everything you need even though their lives may be in shambles and they have very poor mental health because it's just all about them. It's all about what they can get from you. They're disconnected from themselves. They don't even know who they are so they're not concerned about who you are or what you want. That doesn't even cross their minds because they assume that their manipulation will be enough to deceive you. They will bait and entice you until they finally have you hooked and then they will withdraw their attention from you to make you feel needy and dependent on them because that's ultimately what they want. They want to turn you into the opposite of who you naturally are. Before you met them you were independent self-sustaining and self-assured but the more time you spend around them you begin to feel underprivileged and disadvantaged. You become insecure to make your need and emotional support. When you were never like that before it didn't even cross your minds. You're only feeling this way now after dealing with the narcissist because that's exactly what they want. They want you to want and need them. Even though they're not even worthy of being wanted or needed because they have no inner sense of value so they have nothing to bring to you anyway if they can get you to lose confidence in yourself and make you believe that they have what you're missing or what you need to feel complete then they can control you and get you to do what they want which makes them feel like they're the partner master. They're the ones who is pulling the strings. It makes them feel powerful which is the opposite of how they would normally feel when they're around you because normally they would feel insecure but they managed to find a way to turn the tables on you because you're the one who is powerful, dynamic and successful. You've done the work to become the person that you are today. You've been through the trials and tribulations. You've built yourself up. You've actually achieved things for real while they haven't got anything of value to bring to you and they've never even done the work and yet you're the one who is submitting and placating to them which is crazy. It makes no sense because no matter how enthusiastic you are you're never going to get what you want because they've lied about their qualities and skills. They're not even the person that they've presented themselves to be. So if it ever came down to it and they actually had to deliver on their promises you would be dissatisfied and disappointed because they're not even that. They're not the right person for you to be expecting it from. It's just never going to work that way. You can't expect positive qualities and attributes such as love, loyalty, devotion, kindness, commitment, attentiveness, empathy, compassion and understanding from a narcissist. That's like trying to get blood from a stone. They don't have the right character so it's never going to be obtained. It will only ever exist as a fantasy in your mind because they just don't have the means or the mental capacity to make it a reality and if you closely examine your wants and needs you will realize you never really wanted or needed that anyway. You had something else in mind before the narcissist came along and projected these alternate ideas and desires onto you. So when you look at it it seems that they were wrong and you were right all along because their very ideas and fantasies fell short. They didn't amount to anything. It never played out in the way that they imagined or intended and it's because narcissists are just not good role models or leaders. They're better off as followers and subordinates because they tend to let their desires and opposites get the better of them which means that they spend most of their time in a fantasy imagining what could, should or would be instead of actually going out and making it happen because they're not really concerned about actually manifesting it in reality. All they care about is the feeling they get from it and the reactions they're getting from you because that is their narcissistic supply. Everything else is not important to them. All they're really looking for is that release of dopamine in their brains. That feeling of euphoria where their false self is validated and they feel powerful, important, desirable and attractive or whatever emotion they might want to feel and you're essentially nothing more than a tool or a device which they use to dial up whatever emotion they want to feel in that moment and other than that you're not anything significant to the narcissist. We are all just objects that they use to make themselves feel whatever they want to feel which is why the longer you're around them the more out of control you will feel because they will destabilize you mentally so that they can gain control of your emotions to where you may act out of character and out of your mind. You may become very eager and enthusiastic or wild and aggressive and to an outside observer it may seem as though you're under a spell or as though you've taken a drug but it's just because the narcissist has injected you with this poison. They've contaminated you, they've made you impure so now you're not behaving sensibly or logically and you may feel like you're going insane because it's emotional abuse they're deliberately controlling and manipulating you with emotionally abusive tactics to frighten control and isolate you. It's a pattern of behavior in which they're insulting, humiliating and instilling fear in you so of course you're not going to be thinking or acting normally because you're being abused, you're being used for a bad purpose, something that you're not meant to be used for so of course it's going to have a harmful effect on you and you might react to it in a way that is out of character but because narcissists are so delusional and arranged they will take it as though that's actually who you are and as though that's how you would normally behave and they will ignore everything that happened up until that point as though they never said or did anything to you and you just became that way on your own which is really insane and it just shows how disconnected from themselves and reality they really are they're living in a fantasy where you're someone else and they're someone else rather than you being who you actually are and it's because they can't deal with reality they can't deal with the fact that you're greater than them and you don't need them and in fact they're the ones who need you but they're also no good for you because of course that does not put them in a favorable mindset or position but that's the reality of it and that is why they have to manipulate your emotions and try to drive you insane so that they can create a situation that is the furthest thing from reality because otherwise they would be at a huge disadvantage and you would see them as they actually are and you would be laughing at them you would be wondering what you're even doing with them because they're not bringing anything to you they have no value of their own and you're the one who is hardworking and successful you've gone through the trials and tribulations you've built yourself up to become the person that you are today or the person that you were before you met the narcissist and they haven't accomplished anything in their lives they only come around you to take value away because what else can they do they have nothing to bring to you nothing that a normal adult is going to be satisfied with so of course they have to entertain these delusions where they're so much greater than they actually are and you need them because reality is too painful for them to accept it's traumatizing them so they have to hide themselves in this fantasy world where they have this exaggerated sense of their own abilities and importance when the reality is that they are an important insignificant and irrelevant they bring nothing to the table and in fact their liability they put you at a disadvantage they pull you out of reality and into their fantasy world where you're not even a fraction of the person who you actually are so how is that any good for you if you've done the work to achieve something in your life you should at least be celebrated as a person that you are but they can't even acknowledge it because their value and importance is so insignificant and inadequate that it would equate next to nothing in comparison to you and they know it that's the whole point of the emotional manipulation and the false character that is why they have to break you down mentally and emotionally it's why they can't even acknowledge who you actually are because they already know that in comparison to you they are nothing they're worthless so they can only ever be a hindrance to your life they can't build you up they can't even be near you for a moment without depreciating your value and yet we wonder why we feel crazy around them when it's because they've managed to manipulate and gaslight us to the point where we can't even see ourselves and we can't see who they actually are everything is distorted it has to be otherwise it would be very unfavorable for them and we would just have to come to the obvious conclusion that they need us and we don't need them and in fact they always needed us and we never needed them they were a hindrance to our lives they prevented us from doing better and being better well we were keeping them afloat we were sustain sustaining their false reality and their feelings of grandiosity and euphoria and that's all that it was that was the only purpose of it it was never meant to be anything more than that your sole purpose is to make them feel how they want to feel it is a shared fantasy and a shared delusion it has no basis in reality it's not even real and the only thing that is real is the work you've done and the things that you've accomplished everything else on their end is just manipulation and delusion it's all fake they just managed to trick you into believing that it was real and yet we try to line things up with reality to make it make sense and that is when we start to feel like we're losing our minds because it's not real so it's not meant to make sense and trying to make sense of it will only poison your mind thank you all for watching if you found this video helpful please give it a thumbs up down below let me know your thoughts in the comment section and hit that subscribe button to receive the notifications if you would like to support the channel you can donate at paypal.me you can book it a one-on-one with me on my website it's narksafiver.co.uk thank you all for watching and I'll talk to you soon