 I got myself a Taylor Swift cardigan. I'm having the best time of my life. I'm trying to add a little Christmas tree for some festive energy. Hello! So I am back in the U.S. I am back in good old Maryland and I came home like probably a week ago, no not a week ago. I came home on Saturday and so there is a five-hour time difference between Edinburgh and like D.C. For the first like four days I was home, I was waking up every day like three in the morning. So that was a very, that was an interesting experience. But yeah, this is not going to be like a very structured video. It's just going to be like four like my like long-time subscribers like and new ones. Welcome if you are here because we hit a thousand. I mean, yeah, I don't even know. That's like a cringey way to put it because like the channel hit a thousand, but like, you know, because of people. That's thank you. And I like started making money, which like that's just kind of crazy. And I like want to address this because like obviously it's not much. But like God, it feels good. Like it feels so good to like have that like to celebrate like and I know that that's like literally absolutely nothing. And for the amount of work that I have actually put into this channel like that's like if I was getting paid like based on like hourly work. Like like it's just kind of funny, but that's just like very cool. And like I did that. Yes, you know. Yes. So I have been doing less of like chitchatty videos, which I like doing chitchatty videos. But I also have been liking like doing the vlogs and like showing you guys like my life in Edinburgh and like my travels and those kinds of things. But while I'm home for the month of December, like I want to pre-film a bunch of stuff because like I have a bunch of like advice and I don't like tip like tips videos. If you are going to study abroad or like you are moving to a new place by yourself. I have knowledge now that I'd like to share. That is probably what I'll be doing sometime in the next month. And I also want to do like some fun like old videos. Like I know that I've been getting some really terrible ideas from my brother. I'm going to be doing one of those classic videos. So if you don't know, if you don't know what that is. Last year I would take my dad's like terrible video suggestions and like make it into one video. And it's like fun stuff like that too. Yeah, that is what's what's going on. And I'm really glad to be home and like having a little break before I go back. Yeah. So I studied abroad and I got really got back to like my life again after the pandemic like weird. And actually over the last like month or two, I've been getting a lot of comments. Not okay, not a lot like two. I got two comments. Okay. I got two. I got two comments. The video where I, it's basically called I've been having an existential crisis for a year. I'll link the video down below. It's really the ramblings of like a girl trapped in her room for a year too long. And people are asking for an update. Two people were asking for an update. And I thought that that would be like kind of an interesting way. Because if you have been on my channel since the beginning, like that's why I started my channel is because I wanted to talk about like my experience taking a gap year during a pandemic. I don't know. I thought like in my head, I thought like that could maybe be helpful to somebody out there or what. And I'd always wanted to make videos and it just seemed like a good, a good time. I had free time to do this now. So you know, it worked out. And I knew that I always wanted to do it when I went on my year abroad. I was sort of prepping and maybe you guys, I don't know if I've mentioned this before, like I had a YouTube channel before this one that will never see the light of day. I forgot where I was going, but I always wanted to start this YouTube channel and like and do it. And now that like I've hit like that first milestone, like I'm like, yeah, I can do it. And but yeah, I want to talk about this video that I made a year ago called I've been having an existential crisis for a year. I did get two comments asking me about like how I'm doing after that. And I just went back and I rewatched the video because I don't really, I don't often rewatch my videos. Wow. Like I was not doing okay. I really, I vividly remember this day because I went and I had a social distancing picnic with my friend in the park. And it was March and it was like right around the year mark of the pandemic. And we were both like not okay. And yeah, that was, that's a really kind of funny. So people are wondering how I'm doing. I'm doing really good. Like in all honesty, I think as well as you know, we can all be doing right now. And I think it was like a weird thing to go from a year of not talking to literally another human being my age to having to throw myself into a new city halfway across the globe like meeting new people. And I literally like I chucked myself into it. I was saying, and I'm gonna like talk about this later, but like the first like two weeks I was in Edinburgh were absolutely crazy. Like I just, I talked to so many different people and it was so overwhelming, fun. And the whole time I was like nervous about COVID, but like I haven't vaccinated. Most people in Edinburgh have been vaccinated students, you know. So okay, I'm back. Sorry, they're, they're like leaf blowing outside. Yeah. Okay. How am I doing? I am doing good. I think that it would be a complete lie to say like my life is perfect now. Like I have everything that I want and like I have all the answers and I know exactly what I'm doing with my future because that is literally the opposite of the truth. Yeah, no, like my life has not been perfect. Like I moved to a brand new city on my own again, which is a really hard thing to do, especially after a pandemic. I had a really nice time and I learned a lot and it felt so good to like have goals and meet them again and try new things, challenge myself. I think looking back and like watching this video again, like I just, I basically, I went to work. I came home, I did YouTube, which are, it was all very like solitary assignments. And like I literally, I was thinking about this too. Like I literally didn't make a new friend or talk to somebody else or like make a memory almost like a memory. But like, no, I think that that's like a proper term because it just, time just kind of like blended together. Like nothing, nothing happened. And like obviously life doesn't just like happen to you. Like you have to make life happen. But like during the pandemic, like there was just absolutely no way to do that safely. Like you just, I tried to put myself out there like in this way. Like I did do that and I'm really proud of myself for doing that. But it's completely different than like putting yourself out there with like people. Cause like this is just, this is again like an isolated like experience. Like obviously it goes, it goes to people, but like I've never really met anybody in person who's like seeing my videos. I don't know, I don't know how to explain it. But it was so cool to like see the world again. And honestly like moments where I could like talk to my peers, like new people, not just people who experienced like the same pandemic as I did was really good just to like, just to talk about it. So I know one girl or one, I know one person commented on the video just sort of like asking, asking how I'm doing because they're sort of in it right now. And I talked a lot of that video about like having an existential crisis and like not knowing the point of like, I think that everybody just questioned so much in their lives, like their relationships, the direction they were headed in, like what they wanted out of life. And I, those things don't go away. Like I think that the, I think that the pandemic just like made it so we didn't really have anything else to focus on. What I have learned the most from it is like, I don't, I don't need to know those things. I just need to keep finding little things to look forward to. And obviously I don't have little things this year. Like this is probably like one of the most like exciting years of my life. Like I get to like live in a new country and have all these great experiences and travel. Like I'm so lucky this year that that is my life. Even when I do go back to like my real life next year, when I go back to school and when I go back to, I don't know more like my normal like day-to-day life, which I don't even know what that is anymore because next year I get to go to college and kind of like restart my life in Charleston because pretty much everyone I knew there will have graduated or moved on and I'll be living with new people or I don't, I have no idea. I still have to figure all that out and that's going to be really weird. And then after that one year, like I move on and I'm going to do something completely different and I don't know what that is yet. And I think that sometimes it's really frightening because when you do move to a new place by yourself, like being in your 20s is just, it is very like isolating sometimes. But I'm really trying to see like the joy in that because like I don't really have, I don't really have roots anywhere right now. And besides like home, like obviously, and that's why it's been like very nice to come home because like to be constantly in a place where you're being pushed out of your comfort zone, like it does get tiring and I'm going to talk all about that in another video. But meeting new people and pushing myself outside of my comfort zone, trying new things, those are the things that really made me feel like I was like living my life again and living my like my own independence. But yeah, that's really what I have been thinking about. And I'm really grateful for everybody for sticking around if you've been here for a while. And it's been really cool to like see other people do stuff because of this channel. Like I got DMs that like some of you like became friends because of like my channel, which like that's just kind of crazy to me. Yeah, comment down below. Maybe you'll make a friend. I will be getting back on my normal posting schedule, which is on Fridays. But we're going to see if I don't know if this video is going to get up today. Yeah, it's Christmas, so happy holidays, whatever you celebrate. And subscribe if you're not already. Give this video a like and yeah, comment down below. And I don't know, just be introduced yourself because then I don't know, we can all be friends. Yeah.