 Hey there, lovers and friends! I'm sitting here with Tim DeLaGhetto. I'm always shocking when people turn that shit on. So I wanted Tim here today to give the kind of advice and sometimes I feel I don't really get to give people. You know when you have those thoughts that like, I know what the issue is, but saying what the issue is. You don't want to hurt their feelings. Right. But sometimes it's what they need to hear. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Have you ever had someone give you that kind of advice before? Um, I mean, yes. Yes. Rick. Women love to say things like, I'm not that type of girl. If you know damn well, your vagina is on the top of the fridge next to the chips and anybody with a step ladder can get it. Stop acting like it's on the highest pedestal in the world. You know what I'm saying? Like, if you know that, just follow it. Okay, so this is a video that I'm doing as Tim because I really feel, to be honest with you, I remember I called you on my full screen show. Remember the word, confidence, that you made up? I do feel like you are a really great role model for men in terms of sex-loving relationships. And on top of that, you just got engaged. I did. See you're doing something right? Thanks. I mean, you know, I was able to convince her that she won't do any better than me, so. Without further ado, yesterday on my Instagram and my Twitter, I asked you guys for questions, and then I asked you for your phone number. What's your phone number? Is that a song? No. Okay, I met a guy on a dating app and we met. The chemistry was undeniable. He came over, we had sex. We've been having sex ever since, sexting, flirting. He blurts nonstop, but hasn't asked me out on an actual date. This one? Sure. Hey, this is Shannon. I'm recording you and I'm with Tim. Are you okay with those two factors? That is totally fine. Hi. What if she said yes to recording, but no to you? She's like, no to Tim. I'd be like, all right, ends call. If we haven't gone on an actual date, we'll go to Hangout, we'll hangout, and then we'll end up just in bed together. But I actually want an actual date. Well, here's an important question. Does he ever go out or is he just hella cheap? I mean, I feel like it's either he just doesn't feel like paying for dates or he's just trying to smash, that's it. I've had a homegirl that I hit her up and just to smash, you know what I'm saying? Like we smashed that day. And then it was like, and the thing about it is when you say homegirl means you guys were friends first. We're friends. Well, I mean, we weren't even friends. You know what I'm saying? It was just somebody who I got the contact and like what it was is like we talked about fucking and then we fucked and then after that it was like that's what it was for me. You know what I'm saying? It was like after we hooked up that first time, it was like, okay, I know I get hit this person up to just smash and like and now and now is it. You know what I'm saying? Like, I feel like some time. Did you have other people that you went on dates with? No. Did you have compartmentalized where it was like, oh, I have one girl for phone conversations, one girl for sex? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, I definitely like, yeah, yeah. This was like when I was just kind of doing my thing and I did have people that I would like hang out with and then her it was just I would hit up when I just wanted some sex. You know what I'm saying? Like that's just what it was and and yeah, we never hung out ever. It was like, I would just hit her up when I was like late at night and would you and just have and you wanted to see her because he does that like constantly. He said late at night though, that kind of sounds like a booty call girl. Does he call you at three in the morning and tell you that he's got an itch in his pants and only you can scratch? If so, do you have compartmentalized relationships right now where like he's your sex partner, but you have people for different things or are you putting all your eggs in this basket? No, no, no, no, no, no, I have compartmentalized, yeah, I go out with like someone and I'll talk to someone and it's just. Is the sex amazing with this dude? Yeah, girl, yeah. I mean, what's what's the problem? It sounds like you guys are not compatible for like a long term partnership. And I think that's a pretty important part. If you are somebody who does get energy from going out and that means something to you and they're not willing to conform to it because you're not even asking to go to high priced restaurants, but you're saying on the flip side, you have people who you do go out with. So I mean, why do you care if this relationship that's based on sex and is successful around sex doesn't compliment other areas of your life? Do you do you even want a relationship with this dude or are you just curious? What happens to the relationship with him because I know he gets a lot of attention from females and I'm very, you know, able to, you know, relationship with someone like that. It drives me crazy. It's a really honest thing to say. And I repeat appreciate that, but like, you would never say that at a job. You know what I mean? You never tell your boss, like, to be honest with you, I like working with like low quality employees because I have low self esteem and I get very insecure when you like other people above me. You just wouldn't because like we recognize the fact that is not that is not like an attribute that helps you anywhere else in life. But in relationships, I'm just attacking you. But in relationships, people think it's so okay to say, I'm just really jealous or I'm really territorial. That's not cool. Yeah, that's I would say territorial. I've always dated super hot girls and and I know dudes are going to want to holler and they do, but but I feel like I'm dope too. So I don't really care. You've got to be down for the competition. Yeah, exactly. You got to believe in yourself. But I also don't do a mirror. I always tell people this. I'm like, yo, a good relationship is is not about who somebody is, how somebody makes you feel. And what I love that you did now is you were honest because people could say they want someone who's tall, dark and handsome. But if you know somebody who's tall makes you feel short and dumpy and somebody who's handsome makes you feel very territorial and insecure than like, yeah, tall, dark and handsome wouldn't work for you. But on the flip side, I do want you to like strive for better because I don't think anyone should say like I only like to be around people where I feel the competition is low because I don't think that I can compete if they have more options than just me. You like you said you don't really want a relationship with him. But she said the dick is great. And like she knows he gets a lot of pussy, right? Or a lot of female attention. So she's kind of like, man, OK, this is fucking super hot dude, super dope dick, maybe he's interested. Like that that feels good. You know what I'm saying? So like, of course, that might be something you're curious about. But I mean, I feel like if you're already happy with getting the dick and his dude is hot and like and you not really looking for nothing. I mean, why even make it complicated? You know what I'm saying? Just be happy getting the dick. You got to be clear just because somebody is a bomb-ass janitor and they're really good and you like them doesn't mean you promote them to CEO. And so you've got to be really clear in the position that he is you want this individual in and not overthrow that because you're like, but I really like him or because that janitor is making you second guess yourself a little bit, which that sense of I'm not good enough can do really crazy things to people. So all in all, I don't know. I feel like you should keep your options open. You keep dating and make it clear to him. You should make it so clear to him. That's like, I'm going out on dates with other people because you were unwilling to step up. And then yeah. And if he's not stepping up, despite the fact that you said that, he's not going to step up. And that's his prerogative because maybe he is just a hermit cheap dude, which I'm not criticizing because I'm a cheap person as well to just be happy with the day. That's Tim's very happy. Very happy. Ain't no need to make it complicated. Thank you so much. All right, take care. Love you guys. Love you too. Love you. Do you really feel like that she just wants to do? No, she likes him. Yeah. Why did you say that? That's to keep it real. No, because I mean, I was I was saying, regardless, her liking him isn't going to help because he don't want it. Yeah. So I was like, if you're happy with the dick, don't complicate things. But I think that's probably the biggest issue because naturally when you have sex with somebody, you get more attached to them. Yeah. You have the dopamine, oxytocin, vasopressin cocktail. And so if you're aware of the fact that, like, look, I'm starting to develop meaningful feelings for somebody who I know can't satisfy them, I will say the dick is not enough. That's why I was telling her to keep it to establish for herself that this is just a booty call, you know what I'm saying? Because, like, there's no point in her getting her feelings wrapped up in this, like, because that's that's definitely what it was. Yeah. It was just a booty call. And, like, and this dude is obviously someone she finds super attractive. The dick is dope. And it's like, don't let yourself get caught up in. And she was talking about how all we bonded so much, the chemistry was undeniable. Right, right, right. I mean, it's like the thing about it is, man, look, you can have a good conversation with somebody and have it be a booty call. But I mean, that's where it gets dangerous. You know what I'm saying? Because it's like, I've always said, friends with benefits situation can only work if A, that's the only benefit. Yeah, exactly. And it'll start to get fucked up if the person is like, if you're super attractive. I feel like they have to be kind of ugly. If the friends with benefits have like. Beauties in the beholder. I know. And if you you need to behold this person as not super hot or else you will catch villains or they need to be somewhat annoying or else their personality and their sex, sex plus the personality is gonna make you catch villains. Yeah. So a benefit situation needs to be someone who's like, kind of funny looking or kind of annoying. You know what I'm saying? So you don't get completely wrapped up in it, you know? It's very difficult not to. My current relationship started out with friends and benefits and I identified at the time that intellectually we weren't firing at the same trajectory which made it like, OK, cool. Like, I know what I would want this person for. They started to read books, watched head talks, sex thing, you know, we live together. There you go. Shit. Whew. OK. All right. Yes, chat-a-runga. Now we can do the outro. Chant the wrong suit. OK. What's chat-a-runga? Is that a thing? It's like a, I don't know, it's like a yoga pose or some shit. Thank you so much to Tim for being my guest in this one. You didn't disappoint. That was great. Other than that, you held back on the last one. You held back the real. Oh, we got it in there, she'll watch it. Yeah. If you guys want more dating advice, I strongly suggest that you do two things. Well, one thing, actually, really, you go to fullscreen.com and I can download the app. You can watch three episodes of my show for, like, absolute free, no obligation. You can watch the whole season. You get a one week free trial. But yes, you do have to input your information because if you do want to stay, they do want to charge you. But this part right here is, like, really, really important. Like, it's, this kind of support means the world to me. Get a little choked up right now. OK, hold on. I'm talking too much about my shit. After you do that, you have to go and watch Tim's show, which is also on fullscreen. Also on fullscreen, I feel like there's, if there's a handful of your episodes up for free, there's a handful of my episodes up for free. And you know, we're always, I don't know which episodes give what advice, but we definitely got something about friend zones and something about booty calls in there somewhere. And you do the same thing. You have, like, videos, too. Yeah, people submit little video questions. I love the video that I watch where the dude actually walked out. Oh, yeah. That was so awkward. But I think that's important sometimes, because the advice people give behind your back is the advice you need to hear to your face. Facts. And so today, we gave that to you guys. If you liked it, I hope you did. That's all. I don't like to do that whole, like, like, subscribe, share thing. I don't think it matters. Y'all know what to do. Click the notification bell. I mean, if I'm going to pick one thing, do that. Due to popular demand, I am now podcasting daily on Anchor FM. Now that is a place you guys can go to ask questions. You actually leave voice notes. And then I answer your questions. So go to anchor dot FM slash Shambhuma to sign up and to have your daily questions answered. I get a girl. Yeah. Yeah, I get a girl. Yeah, I get a girl. Oh, yeah, the girl. Get a girl.