 Guys always think that I have to be the funny one. I have to I have to get her to like me I have to say the thing that's gonna make her Fall for me. No One of our female assistants actually said it best one day because I was talking about a similar thing and she said it's Far more sexy far more attractive far more important to be interested Than it is to be interesting Guys always think that in order to get a girl to like them they have to be the funny one They have to be the charming one. They have to be the star The vast majority of women out there They want to be the funny one they want to feel as though they're the charming one They want a guy to make them feel like they're the sexy one It's your job to provide the framework for the conversation. It's your job to lead the conversation It's your job to give her the opportunity to fill the conversation With the beauty with the things that women are great at filling her lives with with the the funny stories and the giggling and The laughter that you're just sitting back Poking fun at really tell me more about that. Are you serious? Oh my god Fucking hilarious. It's the same thing When it's a girl you don't care about you're like no, that's really cool and she just won't shut up It's a girl you like all of a sudden you won't shut up because you're trying to impress her so much What's changed the girl or you? Why has the reaction changed from the girl? Simple we over complicated in our heads because we've got something to prove not to them, but we don't feel like we have enough ourselves We don't feel like we're good enough. So we feel like we have to do something extra All you got to do is put yourself out there. That's essentially you put yourself in a woman's path and give her the chance to impress you I'm not trying to to reach any hook point with girls. I'm giving girls the opportunity to hook me sometimes they will Sometimes they won't the sooner I stopped taking those wones personally and start laughing at them The sooner I'm gonna start having a lot more amazingly enjoyable Experiences with the girls that do respond positively because there's a shit ton of them out there There's four billion women and I know when you lock yourself in your house for a month because you just got out of a break Up and you're just eating like Ben and Jerry's and you're playing video games And you're on the computer all night and your zits are popping out You're like putting on a couple extra pounds and you're not sleeping and you're just like feeling like the biggest piece of shit in The world. I know you're sitting there like man. What girl's gonna want me? Oh, man. I do need some tricks. Absolutely I am at a low point But then we get out there and maybe start working out a little bit We maybe start taking care of our cell we get good night's sleep We start being productive in our professionals get on a good streak. We've all been there How many people have had a hot run where they've been in a really good place and people have found them attractive charming and valuable show Of hands, please. I'm right and how many people have had runs where they've been cold Where nothing's going right where shit's just in the gutter, right? Yeah. Yeah, absolutely Abs a fucking Lutley. I wave my hand all day at that What's the difference the outside world? We all have it inside of us Right sometimes we we get into ruts and you know what the biggest thing we need in ruts when we're in the ruts That's when the most desperate guys call me guys want coaching when they're at that that pitfall bottom of their of their You know, they're their ruts guys are never calling me when they're sitting me and they're they're happy like full circles They call me in their ruts because that's when it's like I can't take this shit anymore You know what the first thing I usually give those guys when they're at the end of their rope when they're just so Frustrated maybe and it usually is at those those really harsh moments Maybe after a divorce maybe after some traumatic point in one's life That's when I that's when the guys really are just like what the fuck at the end of their rope frustrated first bit of advice I give them patience Patience I know it feels like it's never going to get better right now and I know today feels like forever But you know You've been here before You're going to get out of it and yes, there are certain actions you can take to increase that speed Yes, there are certain things you can do to to jolt your learning curve. I'm lucky when I'm in those spots I have things that I can immediately make myself do that. I didn't have the option to do my first breakup or my first heart acre when I was Much younger. I now have strategies that I can take to to get myself out of that place a little bit faster But we've all been there and we all obviously have been in the opposite We've all made we have dropped hooks We all have just shut up and let girls talk talk talk talk and we've all escalated just fine The only problem is sometimes even though we know how to do it intellectually and even though we've done it in the past We forget right here And so yeah, it sometimes takes a little memory jogging sometimes it's like I'll be sitting there I'll fall into old patterns. I'll do old things any day of the week Son of a bitch what happened? It's constant. This is actually guess what it's never gonna be over You're gonna have to go back and forth with that shit with the with the that other side of you That just wants to drag you down. You're gonna go back and forth with that for the rest of your life It's not going anywhere and there's gonna be days when it gets the best of you There's gonna be days when you just are so frustrated with yourself and what you weren't able to accomplish that you just Want to give up and wonder why you started on this in the first place Oh, but man is is is is it impossible? No is is the greatest power those ruts and that negative you have just that that Persuasiveness to actually make us feel that it really is so bleak That's really their only power is making you feel that it is hopeless that there isn't a tomorrow that it's not gonna get better but man It's all about reminding yourself of that simple shit that gets clouded that gets thrown off and the more you hear it Then the more you not only hear it But the more you go out and experience it and feel the more hooks you drop and see Exactly what I'm talking about in your experience said back to you hearing me talk about dropping hooks and how girls react Yeah, it sounds cute and you like it But after you go out and you practice it hardcore for a weekend where I'm pushing you into every single one of them like this Is changed it's all about giving yourself the experience in your life to constantly fight against it constantly build yourself up to constantly Get better. There's never perfection. You're never gonna win All you can do is take that next step forward and improve yourself that much more What I can promise you is that it always does get better as long as you're you're always moving forward You're better today than you were a year ago today, weren't you? Anybody disagree with that unless you were just in a harsh breakup or a harsh traumatic experience is anyone worse off now than they Were a year ago No, I mean, it's right there man stop making it so complicated start doing what you know how to do and yeah It's okay to remind yourself every once in a while when you need to Cheers I still have time to So I want to open up to questions. I love questions Ask me anything you could possibly ask me and I'll be excited to ask them answer them Any questions? Yes When you're dropping hooks to you So I'm trying to figure out how you end up getting the girls that you want and how you Figure out the girls that you want you drop the hooks and then then you know the girls that Respond you you figure out which of those you like or how do you do that? Really good question? Really good question. I drop I try to drop as many hooks as I possibly can old ladies at the bus stop You know dude at the gas station anywhere like oh, yeah, having a good day today. Great I'm gonna try to like oh, that's a that's a lovely book. You're reading ma'am. Whatever it happens to be Why because the principle behind this is that? Approaching is especially vexing for us because we've got two things coming together We've got a perfect storm of anxiety hitting us not only do we have the she's a pretty girl And she makes me wet myself when I see her anxiety that pops up, right? We also have another anxiety going on and that anxiety is just a general fear of talking to strangers that we have that We've been raised with Most parts of this world you've been raised to know that strangers are the devil and that you should avoid them at all cost Or they will poison you with candy with razor blades and apples like this We all know this right has anyone not been taught this from the time they're little so for approaching We've got those two different points of anxiety. We've got yes girls are gorgeous And they make my heart beat faster and they make blood rush other parts of my body I know that but then we've also got this other thing. I drop hooks everywhere because I want to this is still gonna happen and The more positive reactions you get from girls the less this is anxiety and fear and the more this is just excitement to Get more physical and get to know them better like this is the power that drives you forward that that gives you an extra snap on Your punches when you compliment her and look her in the eye This is how she believes you when you look her in the eye and tells you she's sexy and show She knows you're not just full of shit But this thing I try to minimize this as much as possible in my life Because I know that approaching this girl dealing with this is gonna be a hell of a lot easier If I don't also have to deal with this fear of strangers that we all have as well So I'm looking to and in terms of who I like. Yeah, sometimes I'm attracted to people that I talked to sometimes. I'm not The ones I'm not we might be friends or we might not the ones I am So we should hang out sometime. She's like, yeah, she already agreed to give me her phone number So when you agree to hang out with me that thereby concludes that we have to exchange numbers Another question You you were talking a second ago about that the idea that you know You shouldn't believe that a woman is up here and you're down here I guess what I wouldn't what I wanted to know is do you do you believe in the idea then of Qualification that you need to qualify yourself to a woman or is that?