 Boom welcome back to the 21 convention 2022 of Orlando, Florida being held for the 16 year anniversary at 21 summit Our next speaker is a returning speaker to the 21 convention for speaking way back in 2019 a couple years ago time goes fast Oh, he also spoke in 2020 and at other events as well like for women at the 22 convention He is the world's most controversial dating coach. He's the world's most wanted dating coach He'll be here about that at some point and he's the world's leading expert on hypergamy number one by far champion hypergamy You want to know about hypergamy Google hypergamy? You find Pat Steadman all day long now without further ado Please let me welcome back to the 21 convention stage Pat Steadman Hello gentlemen, my name is Pat Steadman and as Anthony said I'm a dating and relationship coach for men I've been doing this since 2015 and over that time period I've worked with hundreds of men on the full life cycle of their relationships with women Going all the way from approaching attracting keeping and then once guys are in relationships dealing with issues like high conflict Dead bedroom, etc. I like the variety of this some guys like to specialize, but for me It's really interesting to solve all these distinct problems. It's fun to be on the call with one guy Who's a virgin and has pretty much never dated a woman in his life And then to be on the phone with another guy who's been married for ten years and Him and his wife are just kind of out of sync and having all this conflict and then another guy Who is maybe very good at getting women sleeps with women pretty easily, but feels empty and unfulfilled And doesn't know how to get a woman who's gonna make him feel Special make him feel a little bit woman fuzzy inside. Let's put it that way but While all these guys have different surface issues When you get back down to it at the core level, there's emotional issues that are causing all of these surface problems So the question is what is going on here exactly? What are these emotional issues doing? What are they impacting and when you get right down to it? What they're impacting for every single guy is their frame and Ultimately their state of consciousness. We're gonna get in the consciousness in a bit, but let's first talk about frame Frame is one of those topics that's Really popular to discuss in the manosphere everyone's like you got a whole frame whole frame, bro You know, it's just it's it's a meme almost, but what is frame exactly? frame is a set of assumptions that are agreed upon by people Okay, it's a mouthful. We're gonna go into it and Is this big enough guys in the back because I've been told that Sometimes it's It's hard to see yeah, I see that okay Somebody yeah, thank you So it's a set of agreed upon assumptions so when you in a woman are on a date and You know she doesn't know yet whether or not she's attracted to you She's there's going to be this maybe this challenge of your frame And we're gonna get in the shit test in a moment because that's how women will tend to challenge your frame But you have these two different Perceptions of reality so when you're trying to make a woman attracted to you when you want her to be attracted to you the key point to making that happen is to have her come into your frame and So long as that hasn't occurred the woman is not sort of fully invested in you and Frame is used all over well beyond even just the dating space the media for instance It's primary purpose is to frame So what the media will do is it will control the conversation because if you control the conversation You control the bounds in which people can think and if you control the bounds in which people can think you control people and So one of the reasons that governments have focused much more on what we will call Psychological operations Over the years is because it's much easier to control a population if you can get them to Simply agree with you rather than having to use physical force If you can convince somebody who's maybe got a lot more power like the population at large has a lot more Implicit power based on numbers if you can convince them through control of the frame to Maybe feel disempowered Then you're able to control the conversation. So you can see how Frame is really everything. This is why they say that proverbially the the pen is mightier than the sword so when this comes to Men in their interactions with women. It's obviously important because the same thing applies and One of the main ways that You're gonna see the man is fear we'll talk about how to control the frame is going to be very tactical It's very technical and it has to deal mostly with shit tests Shit tests are really frame tests and while this isn't gonna be like an encyclopedic Exploration of shit tests because there's a there's a lot of different ones and there's a lot of different responses the shit tests you can do Just for basic housekeeping There's shit tests that are more about whether or not you're attractive guys So we'll call that desire and then there's shit tests that are about whether or not you care about her to more comfort We're not gonna go into the details of that but suffice to say You have Shit tests and you have we're gonna explore three primary ways that maybe you'll respond to a shit test So let's give like a very simple example here you Cold approach a girl in a mall and she says to you How many other women do you approach like this? So the first way that maybe you'll respond to this Well first we'll give the example of a guy who would respond poorly So the sort of standard guy who's not initiated into this stuff will answer her directly and What he'll say is something like oh, no, I don't usually do this I just you know really thought you were cute and I wanted to talk to you and That would be considered on a tactical level at least failing the shit tests because what the guy's done is he's acknowledged Her framing of him as doing something that maybe he shouldn't be doing and So when that's occurred now that may not be the end of the interaction for the guy because the guy may say that With a very genuine authenticity. It might not blow him out of the water but the but the woman's gonna be then like sniffing around and The guy can expect more shit tests and if certainly if he keeps failing this she's eventually gonna lose interest because He's accepted her frame of the interaction. Therefore. He's no longer leading. He was qualifying himself to her so one of the most classic ways that you would respond to this instead is with an assumption so it's Assumption so amplification And there's two ways you can amplify you can either agree and amplify Or you can disagree and amplify So an example of that would be So she says how many other women have you approached like this and you can say oh, you're number 50 today So it's like you make it kind of like an absurd number and you're not showing any shame around it And so that throws her off right you're basically Saying that her challenge to your frame is silly so I'm gonna respond in a silly way You can also do disagree and amplify and you could say actually you're the first woman who I've talked to besides from my mother And that'll also throw her off because it's another absurd statement That can work really well another way that you can do it is you can deflect and Deflect is basically you are Going to ignore What she's saying to you So she asks you how many other women have you approached like this today and you say you know the thing about you the reason I wanted to go and talk to you it's like I noticed that you were carrying these two big bags of shoes And I was wondering are you a shoe hoarder like you one of those girls has got like Closets full of shoes in there like whatever, you know the point is that you just ignore her statement And you continue you make more assumptions about her you continue with your With your approach gambit and very often this works And the reason it works is because what you're basically saying is that her frame challenge is not relevant It's it's it's not worth even responding to it's not worth legitimizing And this will work well with most women and with most shit tests because They jump on to the next shiny object, right? They don't necessarily come back to that. They're not fixated on it, but some women are and so if a woman is going to really push on this Shit test and she's like no really wanted how many other women do you approach? Then you might move to number three, which is reversal and Reversal is probably the most powerful of the three although Most guys don't necessarily use it immediately. So she says how many other women do you approach like this? You would respond and say are you one of those women who's always comparing herself to other girls? And so what you do is you make her put going a little bit on the defensive that she's Associating herself that she has to be like no no no, I don't I'm not thinking about other women I'm just so she's now qualifying herself That she has to be like no no no, I don't I'm not thinking about other women I'm just so she's now qualifying herself to you and in certain situations that can actually be really Really powerful, especially if she's been Been testing you a good amount and so the key thing here is that You don't want to be qualifying yourself to her and so this is one of the things that Guys when they first start off in game is they make a lot of mistakes about Because they're out trying to impress girls and you know be attractive and and while it's very important to understand what is and Isn't attractive at the end of the day If you're just focused on being attractive to a woman then you are completely in her frame You're you're like a dancing monkey. You're a clown Because you're constantly trying to show her hey look at me. I'm attractive. Look at me. I'm attractive and After 15 minutes or so 30 minutes certainly she's not going to be interested anymore when you start to qualify her and look at her and say You know try to figure her out. Is she good enough for you that attitude that mindset is much more effective So a lot of conversations around frame in the man a sphere revolve around this area Which is very tactical area But there's a catch here and the reality is that when we go to that initial example of The guy who didn't do the shit tests correctly didn't pass it correctly and When he said to her in response to how many other women do you approach like this and he says I Just I don't usually do this, but you were really beautiful and I really wanted to approach you Based on how that guy is anchored into that truth It may actually be very attractive to the woman So it's not maybe technically tactically correct But it doesn't mean that he's conceded the frame because his intention in that statement is Not to get her to view him in a certain way It's not to qualify himself to her. He's just being really honest and really genuine and Then you have other guys So that that guy may be very successful with the woman. It may actually have a really good relationship It might be very romantic to her Whereas another guy you could have puas who are out there maybe sleep with thousands of girls Absolute masters at all this word play knowing how to pass shit tests But one of the things with these guys is that and I'm not generalizing all of them Because Pete guys have different reasons for being single But for a good number of these guys a proportion of these guys One of the reasons that they stay in that sort of single zone is because they actually don't want to get found out They have a good tactical mastery of game They have a good tactical mastery of shit tests, but when it comes to their core frame they can appear on The surface like there may be some alpha guy and they keep her at arm's length So the woman who's like trying to investigate is this guy really alpha. He's like he won't let her get that close to him So she's always that which is good for the seduction process. She's trying to get closer figure it out But if she ever were to get closer to him She'd find out this guy is really insecure this guy's really anxious and She'd start to pick him apart And which is why? It is a truism that if you want to have a healthy relationship a Relationship that has a lot of passion and intimacy You need to have ten times the frame of your average single guy who's Decent at getting women because women can sniff out all these weaknesses and if you've got them and you're not Trying to hide them. You're not gonna be able to do that in a relationship so We can see here that frame actually has more of a strategic component to it and While the tactics are important to understand and learn there is this macro element of what makes a guy actually have Strong frame and for that we're gonna take a look at the concept of consciousness so Consciousness is a little bit of a woo-woo thing. I had a crystal I was gonna wear on here But it interfered with the mic. So I can't look like a hippie but Consciousness is this it's this idea of of basically where your general perception is how you interact with reality and We have these terms higher consciousness and lower consciousness which kind of give us a bit of a understanding of discrepancies so as an example, let's say Your you and your co-worker were both trying to get a promotion Both vine for the same promotion and your co-worker got it. So if you were like a lower conscious individual You'd be like fuck that guy. I gotta I gotta find a way to screw him up I'm gonna destroy his career and so maybe you spread rumors about him Maybe, you know, you're you're nasty try to build alliances to take him down It's very much based on vices like greed control There's a very serious sense of lack with low consciousness people And they tend to always be Trying to tear other people down basically and then you have a high consciousness person would be like hey I'm really happy for you like really magnanimous Maybe would you know get himself in through a party for them even? You know you don't have to go that far, but the point is that they would be Okay with the situation they'd be happy for the other person's success rather than Feeling like it somehow diminished them so Consciousness as this concept. I think was really Brought about by dr. David Hawkins and it's down here at the bottom. You can see he was the first person to describe it in His book power versus force a very good book. I recommend you read it. It's not a complicated read It'll give you a better understanding of all this stuff another author who is Worth exploring is Frederick Dodson who I think goes a little bit more into detail about the subtleties of this love of these different levels but the point here is that you have Consciousness and you have these different levels and you have different numbers assigned to them Not going to get into how these numbers were derived how they were measured, but the basic point here is That the higher consciousness you are the stronger your vibe is the more energy You put out there. So maybe you've heard various people in the game world There's always been like a bit of a disagreement between people who are very very much on the tactical technical side and then guys who are very much like it's about your vibe and There and you know, they're both right depending on where you look on the scale But vibe is very important because the vibe you give off impacts Like if you're at a higher level of consciousness your vibe is going to be more Attractive to more women because you're gonna have more energy to you guys who have more energy are more noticed By other people so and it's a logarithmic thing So when we see the difference between excuse me difference between apathy at 50 in anger at 150 We say oh, it's what well angers three times is more powerful. That's it's not it's a lot more powerful It's logarithmic. It's 10 to the 50th power versus 10 to the 150th power So it's a very very profound difference in the energy and vibe you give off so When we look at shame, which is the very bottom Shame is the closest thing to death When you are ashamed You basically believe like you are a problem your existence is a problem And so people who have deep deep sense of shame Tend to not do things to even sustain their life They might not eat They you know Historically if you were ostracized from your tribe and you had the leave you were shamed out of your tribe It was considered a death sentence. It's not a coincidence. It's literally right above death a lot of people who are on the streets are Down at this level and by the way when we talk about being at a level It's not that if you're at 200 that you don't experience emotions down here. It's just that this is maybe your aggregate number You move up in some ways you're down and others, but this is sort of your base state Okay, so it's important to understand that because it's relevant to how you raise your consciousness so with women if you have tons of shame then you're you're not even going to try to improve because you're like No women's ever gonna want me these are guys who Maybe drop a comment in the comment section, but are mostly not saying anything They're not even engaging in the dating world because they hate themselves so much Then you have guilt which is right above shame also super destructive This is the sense of really deeply internalized like sinfulness like I'm a terrible person I do terrible things all the time, you know my ex left me because I'm bad. I got you know it's very self-critical and So these guys tend to blame themselves for things and not been not women, right? They feel like they've messed up their lives and they have to constantly atone for messing up making mistakes Then you get the apathy And apathy is actually a more it how do I put this? Apathy is an improvement because apath but it's still obviously fairly low consciousness. It's You don't feel like there's it's really worth doing anything It's kind of like some really hard-core black pill guys hard-core Meg towels might be in that direction where they're like what's even the point of dealing with women all women are like that women suck Like you're never gonna be able to be successful with them. So why even bother? So that's it's kind of this cynical Position and then you get to grief and grief is a big jump forward because when you get to grief Now you're like I just really wish I could have someone I really wish that I was able To get someone and and then there's like processing that occurs You're starting to deal with some of the emotions and that can springboard you to the next level which is fear Which is well am I not going to be able to like what do I have to do to get someone? Fear is like where action starts to occur, but it's like gun to the back of the head action Like these are a lot of marketing campaigns are based around fear Like you're a beta bitch if you don't buy my course, you know You're you're never gonna get laid unless you work with me immediately, you know, it's like this kind of stuff and for a guy Who's you know here? That's like they're gonna laugh at that, but for a guy who's down here at fear they're gonna buy Because it's gonna trigger all their anxiety and they're gonna feel like I have to do something So these are guys who will decide to go out there and do things with women, but You know, it's like they have to have someone push them into it They maybe will go out to the bar to meet girls, but they won't talk to any girl They'll just stay there at the bar and they'll freeze That's some of the fear coming in there And then you get to desire and this is where guys are more driven by what we would call like lust or greed Like they really want they want to sleep with women They want to but they have a lot of need for the validation of that So they'll go and talk to women, but they're usually not super effective They have send it like kind of distorted energy. Maybe it comes across as creepy nice guys tend to do this stuff and Essentially, it's mixed responses and these guys will tend to get angry An anger is a great thing Anger gets a really big rap in society, but out of everything down here Anger is the big springboard Can be at least because when you get angry. That's when a guy starts to say Why does this woman have so much power over me? What makes her better than me and that can Become an outburst that then leads to rejection that then maybe leads him to drop down again or It can lead him to start changing his behavior And say, you know what I'm gonna go talk to more girls. I don't care And I'm going to interact with them differently. I don't care about their approval anymore and then you start to get the pride and Pride is where a lot of a lot of you know red pill gurus end up in pride Because they are now able to get women who are in these lower levels fear desire etc and They have control pride is is I deserve this stuff. You should be giving this stuff to me and It becomes this sort of it's like a the whole thing is a power dynamic. It's a war but When you're at pride you're on top and so these guys Feel pretty good about themselves, but they might not put themselves in situations where that ego could be challenged There's that famous expression pride goes before the fall because pride is a very brittle confidence Because it's fundamentally based on the other person being beneath you everything down here all of these are Fundamentally parasitic energies doesn't mean that if you're there, I mean we all have pockets of this stuff None of us are saints in this room So it's not I'm not saying that to shame you but These are all energies that are fundamentally based on lack In our based on I have it. They lose it I only get it if they lose it once you get to courage You start to have positive energy where you start to radiate energy and give more than you're taking and so courage is When you say well, you know what? I'm afraid, but I'm gonna go out there. Anyway, I'm gonna take the risk. I'm gonna put myself out there I'm gonna have you know, I'm gonna come maybe I'll compete against some other people But it's all good if I fail. It's okay Like I'll just get get back up there and then you get the neutrality, which is that well if she didn't want to be with me That's okay. There's other girls out there It's more accepting you're not even necessarily focused on competing against other people And then you get the willingness and this is very honest self honest where you're where something happens And you're like well, what did I do to cause that? How can I learn? How can I grow? This is where you get into like really positive self improvement Everything up here is very it's expanding to the world when when you're in one of these levels of consciousness You're you're making the world a better place Acceptance now you're just focused on mastery What a woman does or doesn't do is not really of concern to you because you're now internally motivated You're looking at yourself and how you can grow You're not looking at what the women can can do with this and then you have reason and now you're just interested in learning So when something bad happens, you know, you can understand you're trying to understand what's going on and and put things together There's way less personalization and then you get to these very very high levels up here and Love is it's a batter app in the Manisphere. That's for sure But when you get to this point If a woman were to do something You wouldn't be affected by it at all like up here. You might say like I understand why she's doing this Like I'm not gonna take it personally Like this is like you might explain it. Yeah, well women do this because when a woman's insecure, this is how she You know presents herself But when you're up here, you'll look at it and you'll be like She's such a beautiful person You know this, you know, she's okay. Yeah, she's insecure about this, but that's cute. It's a very powerful thing I mean it sounds beta because most Most guys are trying to mimic that down here They don't actually feel it They're just hoping like if I tolerate her bad behavior. Maybe she'll You know, let me hit it Whereas up here. It's like a real unconditional love and acceptance and then you have up here It's like literally everything is amazing and beautiful and this this shit doesn't matter for us because there's there's really nobody Not too many people like this when you're up at peace. I mean you are now like the dude who's Sitting on like the in Tibet like meditating because at this point you're no longer even associating Subject and object. You're like well, we're all connected. We're all one. So, you know kind of difficult to be in a relationship with a person like that And this is like Jesus or Buddha or something like that. So From a population standpoint This is the vast majority of the population and then this is maybe Let's say 20 percent everything in here and then 5% would be everything above of which Four and a half percent is pretty much here at love like you're just not gonna meet people up there So what is the implications of this stuff and about consciousness and how it affects you and your frame? So, let's use an example car accident you get into a car accident What happens when you're down here? This is your base level of consciousness. Oh my god I can't believe this happened to me my life's over. I cannot we barely afford that car How am I gonna get by I can't do anything just gonna be mass panic up here Fuck that guy. I'm gonna get his money. I'm gonna sue him in court. I'm gonna get what's mine because he took it from me And then you get up here Man, that was a really that was a shitty day. It was a really shitty day But I you know, I'm just you just have to go through it like it is what it is You get up here What did I do to cause that I should have been paying more attention next time I'm gonna learn from that I'm not gonna let that happen again and then you get up to here. It's like Wow, who's so exciting? You see what happened to me? I you know, I got into a car accident. It's like crazy, right? Oh, well, everyone's everyone's safe. Ha ha. It's all good. No problems And so the point here though is That notice the distinction between up here where You're like, I hope that other person's okay. I'm glad nobody's hurt Everything's great. It's just money. Who cares? Life is good. Just another story with down here Which is that my life is over Some people are like this about little things Because this is the only thing that they know and so when we talk about having a strong frame I Think that the conversation gets a little bit too narrow. We talk about it down here And we talk about it from a from a relative basis a positionality That I lost frame they gain frame and what this really is ultimately is it's it's kind of brittle Whereas when you start to get in higher levels of consciousness You're a lot stronger and the reason you're stronger is because Down here. It's like you can't take anything Here it's like well I'm really tough. I can take a lot But up here. It's like what am I even taking and this is really powerful. You have to really understand this That the reason that some people are so much more resilient than others is Because they do not Perceive their challenges as Being challenges You can only take a certain amount your system will get overloaded if you perceive yourself as being attacked You're gonna start drinking heavily. You're gonna start doing things to try to deal with all the stress But if you can change your perception and comprehension of the stress in the situation all together then You're not going to be stressed You might drop down briefly, but then you'll be able to anchor yourself and pull back up It's natural to drop down at moments I'm not saying that if you ever feel one of these emotions that you're somehow You know this low consciousness individual the point here is that this provides us an idea of a different way of living and It's very very relevant also with our game Because if your frame is up here Then if a woman throws a shit test at you, it's just not gonna rattle you You're not going to be affected by it because you're not looking outside of yourself At what she's doing as being relevant her chat. You're internally motivated Why would anything that she's doing even affect you? And so your frame is so much more automatically stronger up here and The game that you use to attract women correspondingly changes So this is one of the things and I Get a lot of heat for it But I think you know we build our argument up to the point which is that The red pill is correct It's correct Women are hypergamous as Anthony noted. I'm the expert on hypergamy. Nobody can tell me about hypergamy. I get it Okay, but it's not all that women are Women who are down here? That's their motivation Women down here are motivated by power games and so if you are going to date a woman who's down here Then you are going to have to play that game and you're also going to have to understand it for women up here Because they still have points of that anchor them down at this level but if you try to act Like you would with a girl who's maybe down here at desire Where you're do running some very very aggressive dread game that's gonna work on a girl in desire She's gonna see those those girls are those girls want him. I want him And they're gonna go right after you it'll work, but a girl up here. It's not gonna work very well It might trigger some things in her But then it might also be like I don't Why is he treating me this way? It's gonna start to because she's starting to develop a sense of self some self-esteem And she's like why should I allow myself to be disrespected like this? And so you have to also decide what kind of relationship you want to have Because you can Dominate in a relationship down here But you're gonna be constantly with these sort of power games You're gonna have to keep a hard fist at all times because if you ever Let up if you ever show any weakness Then you're gonna get some serious shit test. Maybe she's gonna try to get back at you go to some other guy And you just playing in this game Whereas up here, there's much more of an authentic connection that can occur again you have to understand this because a Woman Maybe mostly up here, but she has some pocket down here. You have to be able to deal with the spectrum of consciousness but if you Want to grow if you want to have a different relationship you do not have to have a zero-sum relationship You don't have to have one Because the more you're up here you can deconstruct things down here even with her You can understand it and you can tap into higher levels of connection How do you move yourself up in levels of consciousness? If you look at this like this is your base layer right here You're gonna have some things that allow you to access up here Maybe but you'll have other ones down here. So maybe you have a porn addiction So you're stuck at there's this there's this pocket. That's very very filled with lusts down at the sire That brings down your consciousness And that anchors you further down the shame because then you feel like a piece of shit Because of your lust and so in order to deal with this you have to deal with the shame at the bottom If you want to improve your frame, you have to improve your shame. You have to get rid of your shame You have to eliminate it Your shame is what keeps you down here because it's the very bottom anchor And so what that looks like in practice can be a little scary because shame thrives in darkness It's the stuff that you keep hidden that festers and builds a shame So An example that a lot of guys have faced is that They try to you know, they they go with a girl and they have a performance issue can't get it up And so sometimes they may just try to avoid the situation, but other times they're there and they'll They'll really try to They might say oh, this doesn't usually happen. They'll try to cover their shame And then what that does is it makes the woman feel shame because women Don't feel you know if a guy can't get it up the guys always thinking about himself Like she's gonna think I'm a beta. She thinks I can't you know perform It's possible. She might think some of that depending on where she's at here But if she has shame about her own self-worth and self-image and a lot of women do Then what happens is that then you trigger her shame and Shame shuts down her own Desire to connect and have sex It becomes this this sort of thing where you're protecting yourself and So then she goes and protects herself And so it's a risk. It's a risk to be open. It's a risk to say Yeah, this happens sometimes this is something I'm working through It's a risk to say that because she might be like well you are well. I don't want to be with you And you have to deal with that but If you're with a girl who maybe for the most part is up here, but she has some shame pockets Then what happens is that the two of you start to actually Clear out what's down here and you're able to move Yourselves much much more up here Because that shame was festering on the fact that nobody could find out about it, but then you're authentic and you're open and You're allowing yourself to be rejected. You're stepping in the courage And so you gradually become more self-accepting and Your relationship with everything changes because then when other people down here try to interact with you in a certain way They try to bring you down. You're not even gonna play those games And that's the one thing I want you guys to understand here is You have a choice at what kind of game you want to play There's a reason why there are so many fucking opinions about what girls like It's because women at different levels of consciousness want different things You need to decide for yourself What kind of games you want to play there's a whole set of games and ways to operate that you have to engage in if you Want to get girls down here? You cannot act like mr. Love and light with girls down here They will be like what the fuck is wrong with this guy? No idea what he's talking about. They might feel a little bit weird though because you're not acting like a guy normally would But they're probably gonna feel too uncomfortable by the whole thing and go back to someone, you know a lot of a lot of guys Who have who are mostly up here? I work with a lot of these guys by the way who are mostly up here, but they have these shame pockets Will get them involved with a woman who's down here and that woman screws them up That woman betrays them that woman hurts them and they don't understand why she could do it It's because they couldn't read at what level of consciousness that woman was at They played a stupid game and they won a stupid prize You can do the same. It's your choice. There's no right answers here but if you start to Proceed in life through this mindset about consciousness where people at Who am I dating? What kind of girls do I want to draw in? Everything in your life will change and it will change for the better. Thank you very much Now I know this is a complicated topic So I'm really happy to take some questions if any of you guys want to want to grill me Just head up to the microphone test Fantastic speech. Thank you very informative. So I look at that chart there that power force chart And I see myself all over it in different aspects, right? I'm very antagonistic. I do have some Bouts of despair and hopelessness, but at the same time I also see myself ratcheting it up when the occasional calls for to be very courageous, etc So how do you kind of rectify? Hey on on there's one part of me that is very clearly Above the line and then another part that is very clearly below the line You almost have like a schizophrenic like why do I react so differently depending on the context? So I guess the question is how do you reconcile those pockets of shame as you say? How do you go ahead and bridge the gap to be more of a homogenous level than all over the board? Great question. So when we have Trauma various things in our on our backstory it It creates pockets down here that and then we'll have certain triggers that will bring us down here Because that's how in a certain situation. Maybe that's how we responded to it We might be mostly up here, but these pockets pull us down And so in order to actually stabilize your field so to speak You need to deal with the pockets. That's where a lot of the deep work comes from I do think people also Choose at a certain point. I mean When you're trying to to when you're Overcoming something down here. There's a level of There's a level of resistance at first to it That really forces you to deal with it You get triggered over and over and over again because it it doesn't want to let go So you really have to like, okay, why am I getting angry? Why am I ashamed of this thing? Why is this like what is what is happening here? And that's why when you get to let's say willingness Which is a very you're very self it becomes more self-correcting because that's when people start to really decide Okay. Yeah, I'm gonna do more inner work. I'm gonna clear this stuff out and gradually You do move forward. I mean one of the things I'll say is that I found Relationships to be really profoundly impactful with that because When you're close to somebody you can't hide from yourself because they have to deal with that dark side of you And they throw it in your face and so you end up having to make decisions about whether to deal with these Problems, which you may not yourself understand exactly why it's happening At first, but once you start to understand it You start to deconstruct it and you can yeah, you'll start to stabilize your field. You'll find yourself less In less down here. Thank you for the question This question is kind of personal so you don't need to answer it if you don't want to and if i'm out of line for asking it Please let me know Are you gonna ask about what you're gonna ask about you're the personal pocket of shame from which you hatched Oh Well, which one The one the first one that comes to mind The first one that comes to mind. I would say that I've had a pocket of shame Around my sexual self-worth That was something I had to really work through. I mean I got into coaching because I Sucked with women at first because I had a lot of shame Around whether or not women would even want to be with me and so there is this sort of like Validate me like I need to be Cared about like women women don't care about me. They don't they would never care about me And so I I fought with that pocket for a long period of time And I'm not going to get into where that came from but but yeah, that was the that was the big pocket of shame I would say that um, but you know There's another good point with this which is that This stuff is alchemy. So when you deal with stuff down here, you actually like it does allow you to to springboard up Further because you understand yourself more like I wouldn't When I was in my early 20s There was just I mean especially teens. I was so much more down here Like I'd have panic attacks and all sorts of stuff like Dealing with all that stuff It launched me further and further up so so yeah, so um, you you mentioned um pornography addiction and um, so We're seeing now in society just it's becoming more mainstream with like movies and things like that. Um Could you discuss maybe some techniques that you could recommend? men in general to to like Work work on that aspect of shame and um, because I mean it can lead to um, just very Like being at the very like like you were saying at very low conscious levels. Yeah, so The first thing I want to mention is that the reason There's so much of this stuff in society today is because there's an orchestrated campaign to bring people down to this level It's very important to understand that modern culture is designed to lower your consciousness Because people who are in lower consciousness Are easier to control Anybody up here you can't control them You build walls around them. You say you can't do this, you know, you have to Wear three masks in your car And they're like go fuck yourself, but this person they're still wearing them so I just want people to know because There's a lot of judgment in the manasphere about Like the state of modern men and I totally get it. I mean because the state of modern men is, you know, pusification but There's this comparison like well You know 100 years ago like men were willing to go get blown up and you know, they were they were brave and now guys are pussies Nobody's ever sustained this kind of psychological warfare against them ever if you're a man in this room and you're dealing with this stuff like You really got to give yourself credit because it is an enormous Spiritual psychological war just because it hasn't gotten kinetic yet yet Don't think that you haven't that you don't deserve some level of of recognition For working through this stuff. It's really profound how awful it is so Things that you can do well. I think when it comes to porn in particular The most important thing to understand about it is it's not really about The woman It's not really about Getting laid or anything like that. Um, it's about anxiety release So there's a lot of tension and then it's a way to try to like how do I get out that tension out of my body So it usually comes from a guy who doesn't know how to properly relax or deal with anxiety and um One of the reasons that I think porn is really insidious is that On a psychological level when you're like 12 years old sometimes kids even these days are seen at younger It's kind of like sexual abuse if you see it at that age It creates imprints and so it creates shame in prints like one of the things if you if a guy has ever um ended up with a woman who had been Like sexually abused when she was younger You're gonna see that she's either like completely shut down sexually or she's like Hype yeah hyper sexual Because she's constantly acting out this loop down here And and porn does a similar it's obviously less than physical abuse But it's a similar thing So I think one of the big things is is to understand what the impulse actually is it's an anxiety release impulse Like hyper sexual women are not horny They're They have anxiety and that's how they're dealing with the anxiety So thanks for the question Hello There is a beautiful talk. Thank you very much A lot of questions, but I love to distill them into two one of them is If I am staying in the realms of peace and joy But sometimes to function in society. I do have to dive down into anger for being effective What is your viewpoint on that because you know, obviously it's a lower state of consciousness And I know it's kind of like a necessary question And the second one is hold on say the second one Let me because this is a really good question and it actually brings up something. I forgot to mention in the speech so There are some people who are like I don't want to pay attention to what's going on in the world. I just want to like, you know Go to the sierra nevada mountains and like meditate all day long. It's like fine. If you want to do that You can do that. They want to stay up here But what they're really doing is they're bypassing reality Um Integration Is not about just being here. It's about Dealing with everything down here. And so like I'm Manisphere don't get me wrong, but I find a lot of the sort of spirituality communities interesting because just it's a very feminine space But you can learn some interesting things from it And there's a lot of of women Over there and men too not a lot of men in general there, but that are trying to like Ignore all this stuff and the reality is that They're fine up here until somebody you know Okay, she's like all love and light and then Her boyfriend goes for some other girl And then she's like You know it's like trying to keep it in like it's okay, you know conscious non monogamy You know, it's like this like you can feel all the anxiety and everything that's still down here She doesn't dealt with it. She's trying to ignore it. It's an avoidance so to really get to a point of say Spiritual life mastery you have to integrate all this stuff And so you're able to tap into these emotions It's not a bad thing to experience these emotions Like you can be up here But then somebody is trying to force you to do something you have to be firm in your boundaries right You can't like at that moment It's not maybe constructive for you to Be just trying to like oh, yeah, you know, we're all together and everything Like you have to be firm and you have to say no you might have to drop down here a bit you have to do it A lot of navigating what we would call 3d reality right now. I mean People who don't understand what's going on in the world who don't want to understand what's going on in the world Are not doing themselves any favor so Thank you. It was a lovely answer The second question is very relevant to what you just talked about So you mentioned that there's a certain segment of population In the lower in the, you know lower quadrant there What is the energetic cost of somebody who is in a higher state of consciousness to interact with somebody like that? And why would you even do that? Right good question. So If you want to get a little bit esoteric here Dr. Hawking said he's passed away now but he said that the overall consciousness of society was Beneath the level of integrity up until I think at some point in the 80s And it's jumped up since then and actually it's continuing to go up. You might be surprised to know that Consciousness of society is going up because it doesn't certainly seem like it But because what's going on right now is a lot of alchemy all out of the stuff is being dredged up That's been suppressed There is a you know, maybe you've heard the term the great awakening I mean, there's a lot of people who are waking up to what's going on. They're waking up to the nature of reality And so they're moving up here More and more and more and they're becoming harder to control Remember that the people up here emanate a lot more energy Than the people down here. So even though there's more of these people and there's less and less of them Up here these people can do so much more the american revolution I think it was like three percent of the population Were responsible for the american revolution three percent, but they were up here And so Their impact Was way more profound than all the people down here. I mean, this is really like cheap land people who stay down here They they just go where the wind blows essentially, so Why would you interact with someone down here? well In certain contexts you won't want to I mean i'll tell you something that's really really difficult for people and is one of the reasons for the massive increase in entrepreneurship Is because people are tired of working in 3d corporations Low consciousness corporate structures where you are You know, you're there to do what you're told And there's not a lot of respect for agency and creativity So if you're somebody up here and you have to work under a boss who's at pride you are going to be really miserable Because they're going to be constantly trying to keep you down So you wouldn't want to be in that situation. You would want to get out of it And that's what a lot of people have been doing. That's why the structure is collapsing because that people are just saying We're tired of these control structures. I don't want to be in this anymore So There is some degree of having to interact with it day to day. You may have some family members You know be polite as you can but There is also something to be said about like do you want to form close relationships with people who are down here? If you're up here, you absolutely do not It's a parasitic dynamic so you know, you can try to bring people up but Getting really close to people who are who are in this whole area. I mean I give credit to it like I do a good job coaching and But you know, I work with people who are like here and up Like I work with people who are jumping out of here And they have a lot of pockets down here But they've they've finally hit the level of integrity because working with people down here is so draining And if you've ever dated a woman who's like a therapist or a social worker Or like maybe even a nurse. I mean they're constantly dealing with these negative emotions and They often are really miserable to be with Because they've taken on all this negative emotion themselves So Yeah, I would keep some degree of a distance, but it's not completely avoidable All right, thanks so much guys