 producing artistic director of the One Minute Plays Festival. And tonight, you are going to see 52 brand new One Minute Plays written by approximately 30 Baltimore playwrights, staged by six of the most amazing local directors, performed by a company of over 30 actors, artists, and community members who all come together to keep their time for this event. I would like to introduce Carly Burmeen. Hi, guys. This face here. It's a media arts collective, which means we do theater. We have rotated in the middle art gallery exhibitions. We do film screenings. We do music shows. You do it all. I just want to thank you all for being here. There are so many bodies here and bodies over there, and we all are great bodies. If you're interested and you love what you see, look us up. Put your email on our email list, because we do stuff all the time. So we'd love to see you out again. Thank you. Um, yeah, there's some part of the minus exhibition. Thank you. There's something you forget, right? So we also, because we're a multimedia arts collective, we decided I would have specially commissioned an artist to read all the plays and create a few oversized reactions of some of the plays that you will see tonight. So you can kind of, like, kick out as you go along, which corresponds with which. I mean, her name is Tyne Lowe, and also Neuro-Burkhard Capture. And I don't know, do you have anything else to say, Dominic? Yes, two more things. The One Minute Play Festival, we... The One Minute Play Festival, we are a New York-based organization where I personally grew up here in Baltimore, so it's nice to see a house filled with friends and family and a lot of my people and those of you who haven't met yet. We partner with playwright and community-specific theaters all around the country. We source local playwrights and we invite them to make these moments. We do not tell them what to write about, but whether we are looking at what sort of emerges, what themes and ideas kind of emerge across the spectrum of their collective conscious. So any themes or ideas that emerge tonight are totally organic. They were not prompted. And this is our way of saying, here is 50 little pulses of storytelling to speak to where your community is right now. It's also important to note that what you're being here with us is giving directly back to your community the One Minute Play Festival proceeds are supporting VMP's vision as well as covering the costs of the festival and I'm happy to say that we have raised a substantial amount of money to help these guys out and it's really important. This is the camera behind us. Hello to everybody watching us on New Play TV. Hi, guys. Hi, guys. The broadcast tonight will live online forever so you can access it tonight and email it, google it, tweet it, whatever. Hello guys, thank you and now... Enjoy the show. W-I-R-E W-I-R-E W-I-R-E W-I-R-E W-I-R-E W-I-R-E W-I-R-E W-I-R-E W-I-R-E W-I-R-E W-I-R-E W-I-R-E W-I-R-E W-I-R-E W-I-R-E W-I-R-E W-I-R-E W-I-R-E W-I-R-E W-I-R-E I became a man, I put such childish things away. You recognize that? This is from a little piece of grown-up literature. Well, maybe I became a man since yesterday. Everything of that? Whatever. Human being. I mean, conversations don't work that way. They're more than just, uh... It's weird. Yeah, it's because you and I I'm so relieved to meet someone who thinks this way. Which is why no one will ever design a machine that can have a call. That's a really smart point. Welcome, uh, table two. I'm using somebody else to jerk off. I'm an animal, I'm ready to do it. It's okay, I'm not stupid. I'm just not what you want to be. Why is this wind... Your turn. I told you. The entire girl is giving me shit. Is this what you want? Something is better than nothing. You should wear it down more. Are you forgetting something? Going crazy in my own house. Jessica? Kim? You have such great hair. Your hair looks so pretty. You look beautiful. I mean, pretty is fixed up with you or me. Pretty, not beautiful. There's nothing to stop saying I'm pretty. It's weird. Okay, okay. I won't say it. Thank you. But come on, you're cute. I'm so cute. You know you are, right? Come on, you know you are. And you have such a nice build and such cute eyes and a really nice smile. Plus, you have good taste. When you look at you, men look at you, everybody looks at you. Because you're so cute. Face up. Do you think I'm pretty? Before steroids, all these dogs chained to the walls were just computers. You know what I love about the internet? You just look stuff up and there it is. I think it's worse to be never beautiful or rarely beautiful. Did you know a group of ravens is called an unkindness? I think rarely. An unkindness of ravens. Doesn't that beat all? What's wrong with you? I mean, I knew you looked different, like more vibrant or something. No, that's not it. I can't articulate it. Sheerful, careless, tense, angry, tense, angry, I haven't been a little tired. You're probably depressed. Have you felt agitation, restlessness, feelings of hopelessness, self-hate, are you having trouble sleeping or is it too much sleeping? Have you had thoughts of death or suicide or have all sorts of pleasure and activities you once enjoyed? That's not it. You're trying to simplify. Who the fuck is it then? How do you expect anybody to help you if you can't even help yourself? Oh, I guess you love it all. Everything is so fucking ironic and meaningless, and you can't even take one second to be responsible, to be appreciative of what you have. Instead, you have to get a selfish little cut that just... Excuse me. Here is only one way to come to terms with our debt. We shall no longer have any debt. I shall become you. Completely. Plastic fucking surgery. You think you might get out? Wait till you get a load of me when I... You. Do it. You need to take off your shoes. Listen for you. Yo, yo, yo! That one went so good. That one went so good. Can we just all of them? I don't bother to look at them. Is that a round of the deal? Well, I'm just worried. Is that a round of the deal? Well... I've been warned about this thing. I'm not going far. You should. No tricks outside. You get a proper hug now. We'll do it on camera. Hi! Beautiful pieces. You have wonderful people. Let me tell you, I was like, you know... I saw... I saw that they wanted to do this and I was like, no, I've got rehearsals and then we canceled two weeks ago. And I was like, Yeah, right. So I said, yeah, let's see if we'll have it commercially. But I was going to make them. Yeah, we would have done that. Cheers. Well, no. It'll come home. It'll come home. He grows. He grows so fast. A baseball game or barbecue is love. Joseph Stalin. Sadam. Four or five cups of coffee for dinner. Keeping you hopeful for your future, Valerie, has started to... It starts from here. Dress... Dress for it to be repopulated while Baltimore turns a dry shoulder. And it just makes you want to hoist the entire city and even out of its... I should have grabbed a bite before I left or stopped by 7-Eleven, one of those day old dogs. Did I remember to lock the back door? I remember I got the key out but I don't remember putting the key in the lock. I must have locked it. If I got the key out, I would have gone ahead and locked it. I can't believe I continued to let him get away with spouting that crap in front of me. Why do I put up with it? Maybe it froze in yogurt. Spiritual experience. That's how I feel about pizza. I really like pizza, but for me it's not quite a near spiritual experience. I understand where you're coming from. You do? About pizza? Well, yeah. That's how I feel about sushi. This is right. You see what you're doing. No, I didn't understand what you're doing. How many people you just... Toss away. Yeah! Oh, yeah. I mean, you see them, right? Yeah. I don't... I don't get out of it. Tearing away the foundations of our community so sucking the sweet, salty husks of our collective identity? Yes. It doesn't bother you? Absolutely. We're being bad. I feel like we're being so bad. Hi for dinner last night. Hi, chocolate ganache. My husband found out. Men just do not get yogurt. Get yogurt. Do you want another? Cherry cheesecake? The recipe said that would ruin it. What is this place? Why is it so hot here? All right, did you make sure to preheat the oven? Nothing is missing. She'll be ready in a couple of minutes. Gratitude. Stick with gratitude. Once ago, this thing's not gonna melt up until I'm sobbing, naked on the floor with a half bottle of bourbon in me. It should be yours. What kind is it? Just a 22. I have a few. Well, you're a hunter. People are awful. Well, I thought I made it in season early on. If you want, the offer's always there. Thanks, but I'm gonna leave you eating. And you know, honey's everything my thing, little friends. Nothing, and that's okay. Well, you got a daughter, right? Yeah, I'm Kayla. Beautiful. Yeah, she's four. Locked up, though. Are you much longer now? It dawns on me now that I need that two ways. The floods receded almost 12 years ago. It's been just as long, but now I think everything's gonna be okay. It can't be that we, too, are all that's left. Me, a pallbear of my species, and him, that's been sneaking the last of the gender rail at night. Maybe I'm nearly exhausted. The microphone's... Professor, maybe mine are dead. They're just sitting there. Short sales and a good eye for girl. Right? Jaws to you. Look again. Insatiable. Good. Great. And I got an eviction notice. What? I was gonna ask you a question. I'm totally broke. So what's climbing? I'm tired of just scraping by. I think next month's gotta get better and just what it looks like tonight. Bam. Why don't we get out of here? Head west. Oh, I'm not glad to see you know anybody anywhere. Do we know anybody here? After a while, people start acting like, well, like you're a loser or something. What's it to remember? In the Milky Way, stars dying, stars being born, the history of the universe. Perspective. Little self-blood. Vampire bats. Hello. They just make it. How do you envision the animal skin? Then they laugh the blood out. What does that mean? That's not true. That's naturally anesthetic. So most of the time the animal doesn't even know. They only need about a table spoon a day. I mean, what's that in the life and death of stars? Life and death? We'll turn that back a bit more. It's like you're almost done. Now I'm trying to make a point about it. Regardless, it's not something I want to do about it. I worked in a rock class, I already took it. Stupid fucking job, Scarlett. And everything was just totally fucked up. Like fucked up how? I don't know, everything's different. The stop signs are all ripped off or they're on any newspapers in any of the newspaper boxes or they're all filled up with blood. Or like the whole fucking USS constellation is just gone. Fuck those ropes, so we can throw whatever those holes are with the cans. Yes, shit, I love that. Sails. Ah, Jesus, not. Now that shit is wrong. That bullshit like that is supposed to be able to. I fucking hate this city. My night lights blew, thousands of homeless, thousands of empty homes. Put them together. The houses are broke out, crumbly. Fix. No money education. No money. Police. No money. The tax base. Their parents. Our kids themselves. No money. Sirens, broken glass, cement. Strangers who stare. Don't. They know you're there. I don't even know what victory looks like anymore. I never make this light. Never. This goddamn light, the whole goddamn city. I hate this light, I hate this light, I hate this fucking light. Oh yeah. Here's why they make MLK a fucking obstacle course. Here's why they make me make every single red light to make you a target. No way. Just keep walking. Just keep walking, asshole. I don't see you. I don't have any spare change. I wish I had some spare money, but if I did, I sure as hell wouldn't give it to you. I don't see you. I don't see you. I don't see you. Get away from me. Get away from my car. Don't fucking touch my car. Just leave me alone. That was great. Your mouth is your heels. Your eyes surrounding me in you. Every morning I wake up. You're on to taking your beauty to experience your magnificence. My breath of life.