 Okay, everyone come back. We had started our focus on the abused today as part of our topic was Counseling the Abused. In the last one hour we looked at working with those who are in physical abuse and what we may encounter, what are some of the symptoms you'd see, how is it that you can deal and work with those who are emotionally, sorry, who are physically abused. We'll go on to the next one, which we look at sexual abuse. Now to just a quick understanding of sexual abuse, this again definitely does have, the focus is specifically only on any kind of abuse that's happening between an adult and a child who is younger than 18 years. So the understanding here is, if there's a significantly older person and a younger child, those below 18 years is what we will call as any form of an abuse as a result that's coming from sexual contact is what we call a sexual abuse. So even if it's a family member, even if it's someone from the outside, a known person, it's classified as sexual abuse. Now when you look at sexual abuse, there's a lot of psychological trauma that can come as a result of sexual abuse. Again, I think some of the things that we just may need to focus on is especially when a child is being abused, it isn't very easy for a child one to understand or label and know what is actually happening or what is going on. And that sometimes increases the fear, increases the trauma, increases the psychological burden that comes in as a result. So much so because of the confusion of what is going on in the child's body and in the child's mind, the question to reach out for help in itself becomes a confusion, whether they should be reaching out for help, whether it's even right to reach out for help, would they be seen as the problem or the perpetrator themselves. And it complicates matters, especially when the abuser is one that the child knows or the family knows or if it's a closer relative or if it's a close member of the family, it becomes even more difficult and burdened for the child. Then the frequency of abuse, the intensity of the abuse, all of that again causes a lot of trauma as well as confusion about what to do and how this can move forward. Generally, I think it's probably not very common that especially if you're not working within a child's ministry, that a child may come up and share this, unless of course the child has true confidence. But nevertheless, I'm looking at it as an aspect of it. Either how would you be presented with something like that? Either one, it's a child who comes up and shares the details or a parent may come up and share the details or someone known to the child comes and shares the details. So one of the very important things, especially when we're looking at section abuse is the first point of the need to believe the story of the abused who's coming in and sharing something with you. This is often a case where the people come in, especially those who have been sexually abused, come in and share saying that I was never believed. Nobody believed me when I told them that it was why because it had been an uncle or it must have been a brother or it must have been a cousin or somebody across the relative that who's a really fit into the family or is like a person of authority there or a person of respect in the family. And as a result, it's either not believed or it's looked with skepticism or it's been or it's asked to be hushed up. Okay. So the first and foremost thing as those who may be people who are helping, it is to be able to listen and to believe and to confirm that what to confirm means to them that you are there to help. You have come there with a mind that's open to hear and to understand where they are at. Okay. Because the minute an abused child feels that they are not heard, they would, one, it actually causes a lot more of psychological trauma because there are sense that they probably misread it. They have they have caused it or they have been in a place of you know doubt themselves about whether it really happened. Now, all of that can happen, which can completely lead to a significant trauma. Okay. Then it's important next once you have believed their story, it is to ensure once again safety. It's to ensure safety so that they are not put back into the same environment as before. Okay. So when you are dealing with an abused, it is one to believe their story. Second is to assure and let them know that they are to come to the right place, them the right thing, they will be supported. Ensuring that they do not get back to that same environment. Now, we will come later know what if it is the environment of the home in itself that this is happening. So for that one of the ways to deal with it is to help them write down or come up with key people that they can get enlist help from and this is what you do with a child. So like in case it happens again, what are who are the two three people you will go and share this with. Right. It may not be in the same environment, it could be in another environment in case it happens. So you are actually equipping the child to know in case something like this happens. It's first of all, it's not right. It's not it's not permissible. And thirdly, it is something that they need to reach out for help. So that's what you would do with the with the child per se also definitely require help depending on So, you know, as per the POSCO law, the child sexual abuse law, you are supposed to be reporting any case of sexual abuse to legally you are liable to report cases of sexual abuse. It is it's part of the Indian law that you have. So if you do have it, you know, you get if there's a parent that's a parent, you can enlist support from get them to file a case. Okay, because that's something that is needed by law. Now, what are the additional things that you need to to ensure is not to confront the abuser. It is not yours to confront the abuser. It is important to to ensure that because here again, remember, the child is not in a place to protect themselves. So you wouldn't contact the abuser or or in any way ask the child to contact the abuser. Okay, so you're not you have to be extremely careful because a lot of this has been spoken in confidentiality to you, right. And you protect that confidentiality by not getting to the perpetrator because there could be a retaliation that can happen in some way. But to be able to deal with it by working with immediate caretakers caregivers, so that number one protections given second, the abuser is is not in the midst in the presence of the child and thirdly, there is some legal action taken towards the perpetrator. Alright, so that's something that you would you would once again look to. Now, the fact is that to open conversations with a sexually abused individual, so that they can keep relating any other incidents back with you, either you doing that on your own or being able to establish a better network system within the family or within the trusted adults in the family to be able to do that is extremely important. Okay, the trauma that the child goes through is significant. Like I said, it mean you may notice sometimes you may notice behavioral problems, emotional problems that arise as a result of the abuse, depending on the extent depending on the frequency. It depends on a lot of things what the child has been exposed to. There can be fallouts as a result of certain emotional behavioral issues that come in. So they do definitely require professional help, either in meeting with the psychiatrist, as well as with counselors as well as with biblical counselors to help to nurture and bring them to a place of wholeness. Now, it's not a one or two three step process. It's not a one or two three step process, but it's something that can take time. And even as survivors of sexual abuse, adults who are survivors of sexual abuse may need to come back for help and support over a period of time. Now, even as we're talking about sexual abuse, one of the things, especially with sexual abuse, that you are also going to be needing to do is prevention of sexual abuse. And this just doesn't belong to the outside world. It belongs to us as ministers or as parents. I think a lot more as parents than maybe as ministers is being able to groom and help the children identify and ways of how they need to protect themselves from any form of sexual abuse. So something that you would do right from the beginning, right from a time when a child is quite young, let's say one and a half, two years is first and foremost. So that is, and I'm sure some of you must have heard of the Good Touch, Bad Touch programs. And I think it's a very strong good program to help educate young children about protecting their bodies. So the initial steps that you would take in doing that is to first and foremost help them identify the names of their body parts. Now, I've seen so often that young children do not know the names of their body parts that even if they want to make a reference to it, to let's say a stranger, or when I mean by stranger, like let's say a teacher or a Sunday school teacher or a you know, somebody else who's not within the family, they may use language that is not what's the word, that's not legible to others. So they may be asking for help, but when they don't, when they're not able to use a language that is that is understandable by other people, then for example, if the abuse is happening in school and the child reaches out to a teacher and is trying to attempt a communication saying that I was abused or I was touched at such part of this, there needs to be a proper communication. So I think one of the first things that you do in that program is to help children learn the names of their body parts, right, the actual biological names that have been given to them. And by helping them know that, so when you're doing that, you're doing many other things, you're also helping them see the justice as much as a hand or a foot or a head or a shoulder has a name. So also do the other private body parts have a name. And it is, if you notice, it's only the adult who has shame while labeling a body part. When you tell a child the actual name of a body part, they see it as a description, they see it as a name. There isn't anything that they see is odd. It is the mind, the grown mind that associates negativities to certain parts of the body. And what you're also doing, as you are teaching young children names of body parts, you're also helping them see that there are some parts of your body, like as it says in Corinthians, have greater honor. And that's why we keep them covered. That's why we keep them unexposed, because they have to be taken greater care of it, care of, they are of greater honor. Right. So it's twofold, this kind of an education or program is twofold. So that's why you teach them the body parts. The second is to help them see that there are some parts that are private to them, which would be the mouth, the area of the chest, the private parts. So generally what we look at is anything that's covered in a swimsuit, as well as the mouth is something that is personal to you, that you do not permit anyone to touch or to hold, except in conditions of when you need to go to the bathroom or when you need to have a bath or sorry, when you need to go to a bathroom or when you need to go to a washroom, or if you need to be checked by a doctor. And this usually in the presence of a parent and these conditions are in the bathroom or the washroom happens only for the purpose of cleansing, purpose of cleaning. Right. And nothing else. Like when they go to the toilet to get washed, maybe a young child doesn't know how to wash, they need the help of a maid or will need the help of a parent. So this is something that you help the child learn that these are personal parts, except in these two three conditions and the third and yeah, and that they that any time there is any action that is done towards them that causes discomfort, that causes a sense of dislike, they should be, they should say a no, you know, it said call out a no, that's what it says cry out a no. So there you are helping the child build up a system of mechanism, a system of mechanism, where they associate discomfort with some physical action. Like for example, there are I know of children who've told their parents, especially, you know, sometimes parents could tickle so much, someone says it brings discomfort and they say no. Right. I think that's a good agency that the child is saying, you know, that's a boundary that I'm placing. And as a parent being able to respect that. So helping the child build in that kind of a mechanism. And the third thing is to enlist a number of a certain number of people that they could go in and share if at any point of time these this is violated if someone has violated their personal body or their personal space. So this is what you'd be you would call a program. And this is something, you know, as parents or as caretakers of young children, we should be doing to be able to protect them from forms of sexual abuse. Okay. Before I go to the next one of emotional abuse, any questions? Is it also possible that somebody who has gone through child abuse or maybe very early in their childhood, refuses to get married or maybe something wrong has happened from the close family. And they don't find a point in getting married. They don't want to at all. Is it also possible? Yeah, that's possible. A lot of things depending on, especially, you know, when abuse happens from a trusted adult, like, like a parent, or a, or a significant member in the family that's incest, right? It's a, it's a, it's another adult, like, like a father or a brother or a grandparent. It's just not the act in itself, right? It's the psychological trauma that kind of builds up. They, what happens is they construct a certain story in their mind about even a relationship or about a trusting relationship. So that can happen. And that's what you do in counseling. You read, you help to reconstruct that trauma story. So a council actually helps the abused to revisit, reconstruct the story in the confines of a safe place that's, that's established between the council and them and they explore and feel the different emotions that took place during that abuse. So then it's not uncommon for, for those abused to learn new insights, even as they're exploring it, they're learning new insights about the attack and what they're feeling. So these things make up, you know, issues of trust or issues of hate towards maybe people of the opposite sex or those in authority or those who appear a certain way. So once that is out, these fears and emotions, once these have been addressed, the process is to restore the heart, restore it to recovery and bring them freedom from those bonds of that abuse. So the hurt, the pain, all of that, that actually crushed the abuse, become, tend to become part of the, of a past, of a painful past, but a past from which they have actually fully recovered. So you, what you're doing, you're helping the victim reconnect the pieces of the puzzle of their abuse. So once that picture is complete, they look back at the past and bring to light how that past affects the present and recognize the symptoms of that abuse. So one of the biggest gifts about Christian counseling is what we offer, you know, is to help them build, one is, you know, as a, as a, as a believing counselor to build that trust that affirms that they are going to be protected, as well as to bring them to a place of understanding that there's hope, there's redemption through their pain. So yes, what you said is possible, which, which they, they make a choice of not wanting to do so. Maybe sometimes there are people who also go through counseling and decide that they would want to stay away from intimate relationship. And that's a choice that they make, you know, informed choice that they make that they wouldn't want to. And, and they would like to probably do something else. So that's, that's fine. If they've been able to process it, they are free to make that decision and that choice. If they feel it's a lot that's led them to understand that. Yeah. So just add to what the questioners are. So if that person gets into another relationship, as we discussed in the beginning of our course, would that person also bring hurt to the next relationship? Like as we said, helpful people hurt. So would it be possible that the, if the person is not emotionally hate, would it be carried forward to the next relation? Yes, yes. Every kind of personal trauma, home situation, any of that that happens has a bearing on relationships going forward has a bearing on the marriage going forward. Because all of this are not just acts of its own. They have deeper emotional, psychological meaning that gets constructed. Right. So, so it is with this construct that they, that they grow, they get into marriage, it gets firmer as they relate to other people now getting into marriage, they begin to play out your emotions, your attitudes are what actually plays out in marriage. Your soul is what becomes alive in a relationship. Right. And yes, so that, that this effect. So that's why through pre marriage counseling, that's one of the things that we recommend that, that if someone is abused, that they address, that they are able to address that before they get into a relationship, because it can manifest itself. Yeah. So it's just, I'm sorry, nothing too many questions, but one more thing, just a little bit. Yeah. So, okay, let's, we spoke about the abuse, child abuse or anything, but would also, that's because we spoke about marriage in the previous session, but it would also loss of a loved one, like a brother who just went off for a lady, her brother passed away very tragically, very recently. And this woman, this lady has been very upset about it and asking so many questions, why should this happen in my family? So, would that also be a trauma emotionally or is it quite okay? Because this is one scenario which we recently encountered. So, should that need to have a proper counseling before they get into marriage is one thing I wanted to know. Okay. So, there are a couple of things. Now, we're going to be doing grief counseling maybe next week. And that you will know, you will understand that there is a process of grief, especially the death of loved ones. A process of grief usually takes around six to nine months, which is actually quite a normal phase where there are questions, where there are bargaining, where there's anger, all of that is there. It is a normal process and that is part of grieving and people should be going through a grieving process. If there is anything that spills up after that, let's say nine months, 12 months, a year, year and a half, then that's when we look and say that the trauma has been that deep that it's affected, even normal functioning and normal relationships. So, if it's something that's fresh, I think it's too early to say whether it will affect a marriage or not. But I think it's worthwhile to know what the kind of relationship has been. Like for example, I have a person who had a brother who was going, who had a developmental who was autistic. Okay. And this sister was the main caretaker of this autistic brother because the parents were at work and so something traumatic happened to the brother. The brother passed away and there was a lot of pain and grieving in this person's life because she was the kind of support for this. Now, without having enough time, not that enough time to breathe, but without really being able to share what was going on in her life to her now husband at that point of time, there were certain dynamics in that relationship which was not sorted out at that point of time, which has created an issue at this point. Okay. So, we may say, we can't say that all everyone will go through that, but I think it's a case-to-case basis again, depending on the kind of issues that these people may be a caretaker in or the kind of trauma with which the person died, the kind of effects that best relationship had, that has not been resolved. Anyway, whatever you see is if there are deep relationships that have been cut off as a result of death, it can cause certain aftermath issues. It can cause. But I suppose they are a lot more simpler to deal with because these are things that you can actually talk about and work through. You know, getting counseling for that sense of a grief is something that you can work through. But yes, any trauma or any significant event of your earlier past can definitely affect your current, especially if your mind is not renewed to think differently, it can affect. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. We'll move into the last one, which is someone else. Yes, Divya. Go ahead. Thank you, ma'am. I just wanted to ask you for children, as you said, who are not able to really communicate what happened to them or if at all an abuse happened for a child. So as an adult, what are some ways that you can help the child or you can understand something is not right with the child? Is there something that will indicate that? Okay. So some of the things, and now there are very good, very conventional interventions that are there, which is like play therapy, art therapy, where children are given opportunities to play with toys in a confined, in an environment where there is observation that's done, where they create their own stories through play. Right? So it's almost like now a child generally is not thinking, okay, if I say this, then you are, then it may appear as if I'm telling my story, right? Children are much more trusting, right? So then they actually, when the focus is not put on them, when it's either on play or when it's on art, it's somebody else's story. So those are few ways that they can be helped to communicate what is going on, okay? So those are two things. The third thing is looking out for certain signs and symptoms. You may see children who are abused. Now again, please, please don't take what I'm saying in isolation, okay? And I'm telling you why is that it is normal for a two-year-old or a three-year-old to explore their own private parts, okay? They would put their hand on private parts, they would explore, they would explore their own private parts. It's a normal phenomena for them to do that. That does not mean that they are over sexual, okay? It is a phase of discovery that they are trying to see what is part of their body parts and what it feels like, right? So don't take what I'm saying in isolation. But there are certain signs and symptoms you can notice, especially when there are children who are abused. First of all, you will notice it in their emotions. They could be withdrawn, they could be very volatile, aggressive, quite brash, quite rude, right? You could see it in their regular functioning, maybe their studies or whatever they are involved in, all of that kind of, probably there's a decline in that. There could be some sense of adult kind of behavior that you may see, right? Now this again depends on the abuse. You may notice that they are speaking certain words or using certain language or talking about certain things that they may not even understand. But you may notice that it's probably something that has been used during their abusive interactions with the perpetrator. There can be some kind of sexual behavior that you may see, depending on the age of the child, maybe forms of masturbation, forms of voyeurism, voyeurism meaning exhibiting private parts. These are in cases where abuse has been long-standing, has been extremely intense. These are all some of the cases. But there are certain symptoms that you may have. Again, we don't look at it in isolation. We look at it in respect with a whole lot of symptoms, so one way to get them to really know what they're expressing is through these ways, play art, even depending on the age of the child, the writing stories, all of that. And there are certain tests also to really determine whether there has been a traumatic event that's taken place. And the second thing is there can be certain symptoms that you may notice as a result of sexual abuse. There could be depression, there can be sudden anxiety, decline of academic issues. And with addition to these kinds of sexualized behavior, talk, language, forms of dressing, any kind of an exposure to earlier sexual experiences could be displayed, could be manifested in their lives. Sure, thank you. All right, we'll go to the last one, which is emotional abuse. Now, emotional abuse as is probably the most difficult ones to identify because unlike the other forms of abuse, there is no signs, there's no outward signs, you can't see a scar, you can't see a mark, or you can't see, there's nothing, not a scan, none of that will actually show you that emotional abuse has happened. But emotional abuse can be pervasive and can be easily missed out by those caught up in that entire cycle of that relationship. So it can occur between spouses, between parents and children, it can occur between the younger and the elderly, the really elderly, elderly 60 plus, 70 plus. So knowing the types of emotional abuse and their signs can also help identify that there's a problem. So some of the common abuse that we see that's happening is the milder ones are the yelling in the screaming, the name calling, then it is the constant criticism, threatening, the suppression of the emotions, dismissal of emotions, beating at a person's self-esteem, beating at a person's worth. It's basically damaging the internal value or worth of a person. And this is emotional abuse is often referred to as psychological abuse. So unlike physical abuse, the here in emotional abuse, the abuser works to control and manipulate another person generally with threats or humiliation, name calling, sometimes even isolation. And this can happen and some of you must have heard this word called as emotional blackmail where the abuser threatens to harm themselves so that they can get what they want. They threaten to harm themselves or they threaten to harm the person or other family members such as their own children in order sometimes to get what they want. So the emotional abuser can use this as a weapon in order to get what they want or may use isolation as a weapon to cut the person off from other people who actually could help them. Like for example, an emotionally abusive husband may demand that his wife, you know, unfriends other people in her social media. So in that way, they're trying to cut them off. So the abuser can use different tactics to control the person such as gaslighting. And this is probably a word that you all must be very commonly hearing. It's what does gaslighting mean is to deny that they have actually said or done something and that they're just imagining it. So actually denying that what they deny is that their past abusive behavior was even there. So these forms of abuse can actually leave a very lasting imprint on the abused. So an emotional abuser again tends to behave in a pattern. They may act out of control and reckless for a period of time because of their emotional volatility. And then when they're confronted, the abuser will use psychological abuse to intimidate and control their spouse or the other person. So it's true that they could offer an apology for what they have done. And they say, okay, from here on, I won't do it. And they will kind of keep a line until they feel that they got the support and they won over the victim. But then the cycle begins once again. So some of the types that you see that an emotional abuser can bring up is again, emotional abuse is all about, just like in physical abuse, it's all about control. And they can use either control that is through emotions. If you don't do this to me, then I'm going to do this, I'm going to leave. Or if you don't do this for me, I'm going to go kill myself or I'm going to cut myself. So that keeps the other person in control not able to separate. There could be accusations and denial. So that's another method that's used. There could be a way that you're accusing the other person of the issue or of the fault and denying your contribution in it at all, that you've been the problem. I've been okay in this. Or there could be humiliation. Humiliation is where you bring down the esteem of another person or isolation where there is complete emotional blocking or blame that's always put or codependency. So some of the examples that we could probably think about this is like an emotional abuser can make threats towards those they love. And to control that, they may always keep the person on edge with their behavior. One minute they may show love, the other minute they may be getting upset with you, then they show love again. So it becomes an extremely confusing cycle. They may bring flowers or they may do so much to make the person feel that they were sorry, but then they get back into that same route again. Like for example, an emotional abuser could often check on you over and over again, like maybe wanting to call you or text you. They expect an immediate response. Okay. And suddenly when that doesn't happen, they will just come up unexpectedly at the workplace or unexpectedly at an event. And then they may go through history or they make a huge issue that almost makes it look as if the other person was at fault for not picking up the call. Okay. So then, or other examples like when, let's say, when it comes to matters of finance, the abuser could treat the person as if they're ignorant in that area. They may withhold cash. They may keep away cards from them or lecture them about basic needs. So that there again, there's a specific sense of control that happens. Okay. Or what you would notice is that the emotional abusers in securities are quite loud and they project them on to other people they are supposed to care about actually or they're supposed to be in love. So those in an emotionally abusive relationship are accused sometimes even of cheating of their mate. Okay. Although maybe their affair isn't true. The abuser, it could also happen that the emotional abuser themselves could be in an extra marital affair in itself. Okay. So the point over here is to remember that emotional abusers create a pattern of behaviour. And the abuser may repeat this behaviour over time and seek guidance also from people to be able to portray that they are they're getting help. Okay. But it's important to understand these patterns of behaviour. So for someone who's abused to begin that process of healing, one of the important things is that they may need to step away from the abuser and from that environment. And you may notice this a lot more among dating relationships and yes in marriage also it can happen but a lot more in dating relationships where they feel stuck in that kind of a relationship. Right. And a lot of times I've seen young Christian youth coming and say, I know this is God's will for me but nevertheless this is his weakness or this is her weakness and they're extremely protective of me. It feels good but they're protective of me. Sometimes they get knowingly angry but once they're angry they douse me with a lot of love and a lot of flowers and all of that and then we're good again and this goes back again. Right. So it's important to help them see to step back from that. Okay. And to help them build back the worth that has been lost through that. So because emotional abuse, the problem is it can lead to other mental health concerns or issues like depression, like anxiety, like post-traumatic stress disorder, sleep issues. It can also lead to a sense of codependency, not being able to work through and get support through those things. So here again when people like this come it's important first and foremost to just be supportive and not tell them what to do. Right. It's to be able to hear them out. Okay. And help them come to a place of moving away from the environment, from that abuse so that they are able to think about what it didn't need to do and also help them see that they're not responsible for the actions or for the anger or for the impulsive nature of the abuser. Right. To come to bring them to a place of understanding that they have been tricked to believe that it is because of them that such a response has come about. So that in itself takes time for them to just talk and relive and speak about all of this to get to an understanding. Okay. Then it is to bring them to a place of really living in that understanding of who they are in Christ. And this I'm specifically talking about believers. Right. Those who the freedom that they have in Christ, the fact that in a relationship God desires that you bring about your roles just as much as the other person does. And then you don't have to be in a place where you are held responsible for somebody else's thoughts and feelings. So once getting over there is to bring them to a place of working through those deep emotional wounds that have come about through the word of God, through prayer, through renewing their mind, through coming to a place of challenging all of those thoughts or all of those statements that's been told to them, those wrong ideas and belief systems that's come over them, that's kind of been cemented in to be able to work through that to come to a place of freedom. So just helping them to work through the word of God through those different practical ways. And then to really help them reconsider about the relationship or getting help for that, for the person who is an abuser. So in marriage, of course, here there's a lot more of work to do, right? It's just not helping the one who's emotionally wounded, but also to help the one who is wounded. And usually you will find that those with these kind of emotional problems, we classify some of them having a personality disorder, you know, so to get that kind of support and help so that the relationship can be mended and worked through that. Okay, all right. Okay, so this was, I tried the best that I can to bring this all in a nutshell. Quickly, we are at on time, any questions or maybe one or two minutes, we just spend on questions and then we could stop. Yes, Devya, go ahead. Yeah, my question is, if a couple doesn't understand that they are going through something like this, maybe they understand in a sense, they understand it, but they don't consider it seriously or to get help. But on the outside, if you understand that this is what is going on, how can you help such such a couple who who really don't think that they need help, but from the outside we understand that this is a cycle that is going on. I mean, that's a good question. I myself don't know how do you get people help when they don't think they need help. What I do is, I mean, I just pray, I say, Claude, you don't, they need help. They need to come out of this cyclical pattern that they've built themselves in. And I think sometimes I've seen the answer as things get worse for them till and then they come for help. So things may need, they need to be pushed to the corner till the time that they will finally land up with for help. And it is important to, I think when they come in for help, it is important to tell them the truth, show them that this is not about A or B, but it is about what's happening in the system here. It's the kind of characteristic traits that they bring in to this relationship that's causing this and to be able to come to it. So yeah, there may be times that maybe the emotional abuser may agree or say that, yeah, I am in a pattern like this or they may not. Usually generally a lot of people with personality traits don't firsthand agree. It's only after they've gone through multiple relationships, multiple issues. They go in from pillar to post, from mentors to coaches to counselors and psychiatrists and then they figure that, okay, there is probably something that's wrong. So personality issues are definitely harder to deal with rather than just behavioral issues. Okay, okay. Yeah, even if like do, at least to cope up in the relationship, at least one partner goes, it will be helpful, right? To just cope up. Absolutely, yes, to be able. So in this case, let's say it's the victim that comes. So what you're helping the victim do is to de-associate all that emotional baggage that's been coming, the breakdown that's coming from the partner. It's to de-associate that and help them restructure a new understanding about what God thinks of them. They may know it, but then because of this constant barrage of emotional trauma that keeps coming in, it kind of takes over what is really within. So to build them up in that state and to build them up in that truth is definitely important. So even if it's just that one person, the victim comes in, I think there can be a lot done. You can build them up in the right frame of who they should be seeing themselves, not in the light of what the abuser is saying, but in the light of who God calls them to be. Yeah, yeah. Thank you. Thank you so much. Okay. All right. Okay. I think we'll close. Let's just pray and I think even as we pray, I'm sure each of us have come, do know of people who've either been physically abused, sexually abused or even emotionally abused. I think let's just keep them just before God, before the throne of grace and ask that the Lord gives them the help from the Holy Spirit to heal them, to bring them to a place of help or support. Whatever their need is at this point of time that they will find that God would minister his presence, his healing, his opportunities, his dose of help from others to them. So if you know anybody among what we spoke about today or if you are one yourself, let's just take time to display. Okay. Heavenly Father Lord, we thank you for your grace. Thank you God that even as we see and hear that there is so much of evil and wickedness and righteousness all around and God, there are many people, God who are victims of difficult abuses and situations. Mighty God, we bring them in your presence and Lord, name by name, even as each of us are thinking of people who we've come across who've gone through these abuses. Lord, I pray that you will minister to them according to their needs. Some who need to open up, have the courage to talk and to get help. Some Lord who may need to get away from an abusive relationship, the courage they need. For some who may be needing solace and comfort and strength through the abuse. Some who may be beaten down because of what's been told to them over and over again. Lord, for some God who's been sexually violated, who've lost trust, who have no faith, who've lost their direction and purpose of life. Lord, for those who have been in places of being the perpetrators, God, we bring all of them to your throne of grace. Lord, we see God that in your mighty power and presence, everyone is invited and Lord, you minister to each one as according to their need. Father, we pray Lord that you will restore. Lord, that you will bind up those deep wounds. Every behavior, every emotion that has come as a consequence to these abusive situations. Lord, we pray that you give them an understanding of making sense of this and have purpose, Lord, on going ahead. Lord, we most of all we pray, Lord, that the gospel will be real to them. Lord, that there will be people in their lives who will bring about the good news of Jesus Christ, who comes to heal the broken hearted, bind up homes and bring back restoration and wholeness. Lord, we pray that you will minister to them. If you need to use us Lord to minister to these people, Father, Holy Spirit, we pray that you will encourage us, you will give us Lord what we need to do to bring the love of Jesus over their lives. Lord, we pray for a protection over our families, over our children especially, even in the world that we live. That's wicked and evil. We pray, God, for your blood covering over them. But Lord, no form of abuse as children, as young adults, as adults in any of their relationships, Lord. Lord, we come against it. We protect their lives in Jesus name. Thank you for hearing our prayer in Jesus name, we pray. Amen. All right, thank you all. God bless. We'll meet you next week. God bless.