 Hello, my friends, welcome to the depression to expression podcast Expression takes all types of forms depending on how we feel and our moods and thoughts Geez how we slept the day before a million factors who we interacted with what went on today last night last week Maybe I'd like to start it a little softer a little slower take you through a little journey in this episode So if you're looking for a quick fix, that's what tiktok's for that's what quick YouTube clips are for Instagram if you want some quick inspiration and 30-second clips, you know, I I'm practicing patience in my life right now You know, maybe that's part of the problem That's part of the challenge of living today is we're always looking for distraction, but we're always looking for the quick fix We're always looking for the magic bullet and once we find it because we're always on the search and we're always on the go Constantly looking how can I solve this negative thinking thing? How can I solve this intrusive thought thing? How can I solve this depression thing? How can I solve this anxiety thing? If I just watch one more video if I just watch one more inspirational clip. I just want that 30-second clip I just want that magic supplement And you're looking and you're looking and you're searching and you're searching One thing to the next to the next do you think people's impatience sometimes holds them back? Do you think maybe just the reality of people not being able to sit and listen today is any indication of rising anxiety rates? Do they think anxiety is causing people not to be able to sit for long periods of time or the inability to sit for long periods Of time and listen and become aware is causing anxiety I'm not just challenging you to listen to this slower podcast go listen to something else sit and listen to a long classical Song some kind of classical music Sit in silence do nothing for 10 minutes That's a bigger challenge than doing a 10-minute workout sometimes having a 10-minute conversation going for a 10-minute walk 10 minutes do nothing You might be intimidated by your imagination. Let's start there Let's start there. You know what pure imagination is. Don't you you've watched Willy Wonka just like me No, the original Come with me And you'll be oh come on. Let's sing it together In a world of pure imagination. Yeah, you sang it with me. I know you did hmm But what happened? We used to have such pure imaginations we used to be an awe of the world we used to Be excited for our futures. We used to not think about our pasts as children Just the thought of what you could get for Christmas was so exciting Just the thought of recess while you were Sitting down at your desk. It got you through the boring lessons because you just could imagine what you were gonna Do with other people Snowball fights playing basketball will play tag and you let your mind float and wander with no direction No purpose But you weren't intimidated by the thoughts they just came We didn't overanalyze our minds We didn't know how to They were still developing but now we're intimidated now. It's like we're fighting ourselves We want our minds to be silent and our minds are part of us The thoughts that come in we can't control them when we feel like we can't control something We feel intimidated. We feel scared. There's a lot of fear there I'm not preaching because I've solved the negative thinking things sure I have my tricks that I'll I'll share with you in a bit But I'm working through this everyone I'm telling you if you hear someone on a podcast or maybe you're seeing a therapist or a coach and they say yeah I got it all figured out and give them the finger and and shut the call off Because that's a that's a snake oil salesman We're all going through this together. We're all figuring out our brains. What do we do with these things? Hanging off our necks. What do we do with this thing? Because sometimes it seems like it's working against us rather than for us doesn't it? You feel me sometimes you're just up against it all the time Now of course it likes to do things automatically for us. Thank you very much brain for Sending signals to my heart to bump or to bump. Yes, my heart bumps to beat Thanks for keeping those lungs inflated subconsciously. I can just breathe. That's a very good thing. That's pretty useful Thank you for allowing me to think But why are you thinking so much brain? Why are you going through so much every single day? Why are you ruminating? Why are you going over the same thing over and over again? What are you looking for? There's nothing there Why are you going through the same thing that happened five years ago over and over and over we've been through it There's nothing there. What are you looking for? I love podcasts Because I just discovered maybe a new trick just by spitting words. What are you looking for? If you're ruminating, you know, there's all types of things you can do with the body Different breathing techniques and stretches and things like that to ground you That's what I talk about in the Concrete anxiety course. If you're interested just go to Concrete anxiety course calm. Okay No pressure. There's no ads on the podcast. So I got to squeeze a few things in so I can make a dollar What are you looking for ask yourself that when you ruminate when you're thinking about the past, right? That's what I'm gonna do if we begin to go back there and Create that cyclical process and thinking in our mind say hey Scott What are you looking for? What what haven't you noticed before that you're noticing now? You know as we rework these memories We're just adding things to it and most of what we think about from years before They've studied this it's like you have about the 50% capacity to what you remember now What you remember back then maybe painful memories trauma bullying getting fired getting embarrassed someone caught you with your pants down You know It's it's 50% correct. We've made a lot up. It's not accurate. So what are you looking for ask yourself that question? All right, that's tip number like one of ten in this podcast. All right Ask yourself. What are you looking for and write that down on a pad and pen? Because usually you're gonna respond what what are you gonna respond with? It's cool. You can have conversations with yourself being alone alone isn't so bad when you're when you're on your team What are you looking for Scott? I don't know Nothing I've thought about this before. All right. Well, let's move on then next thought Cool. That's it Simple. That's tip number one All right. Now let's talk about specifically Thinking coming into the mind. All right. So we're all on the same level. I've told you that before I'm no better than you I'm no worse man So I've been Very scared very fearful of thoughts at times Have you they can come in quick Existential thoughts thoughts that are just so in your face So real so vivid, but it's not that You're in your imagination anymore. We'll get back to that But it's about it manifests in the body again and it's changed your reality So it doesn't stay in the imagination it seems to change who we are in that particular moment and Then we get to thinking well. I thought I knew who I was and I'm having this thought and since I've changed Who the hell am I? Okay first thing When you're having this type of negative thought and remember I'm working on all this to with you. We're in this together When you're having this kind of negative thought intrusive thought intense thought The last thing we should do is suppress it and try to run away As Alan Watt says if you're trying to Get rid of negative thinking it's like trying to iron water It's like trying to flatten water with an iron Anything that's gonna work, of course now you're just gonna stir it up You're gonna muddy it up and you're just gonna make more waves So what do you do with that? the whole point of mindfulness and meditation and what I teach in the course is to Move yourself away from the identification of thought Remember that cool line you are not your thoughts. You are what you do Damn this podcast is full of goody goody goody goodies. All right, you are not your thoughts You are what you do. So how do you respond not react, but how do you respond? To a negative thought coming in And we're saying negative thought for simplicity folks You know just using labels like that. I know thoughts can be fucking horrifying You want to keep it real? Let's keep it real But the thought isn't you So one thing that so there's a few steps here the one for rumination. What are you looking for? Two is we don't want to suppress it. It's like you're gonna muddy up the waters So you want to notice The thoughts come in See it as an observer Pretend, I don't know what video games you play. I remember this game tower defense You know pretend you're in just a watch tower and your thoughts are maybe running below Picture it like that. It's running below and then a next thought will come and it's running below and you're just watching them They're not harmful thoughts. They're not with guns and bow and arrows. You don't need to do anything Watch them come in and watch them leave All right, and this can be done with breathing techniques. There's lots of things on my youtube channel and meditations But I want to invite you to try something too when the existential comes in or Or difficult thoughts to deal with and you're like who the hell am I because these thoughts are new Ground yourself in value No matter what thought you have No matter what comes into your mind It doesn't change who you are But scott, who am I? Well, let me tell you who I am If a thought comes into my mind of man, I want to punch this dude in the face I want to punch this dude in the face. He cut me off. He's driving slow I want to pull over. I want to open his door and I want to smack him in the mouth All right, and then I have this cool scenario in my mind of just beating the shit out of someone, right? Welcome to my mind sometimes. Okay, there's anger. I got a punching bag here So you have these thoughts of like of maybe you hurting someone maybe you getting embarrassed Maybe you're not feeling confident in certain situations Okay, but What I actually Do that to someone would I actually harm someone No, that's not who I am. So when these thoughts come in ask yourself What do I value? So I ask myself, what do I value? Well, I value honesty I value kindness I value integrity I value love and non-violence and I have these five things in my mind So I replace those thoughts with thinking about my values and say well, even if I have that thought Again and even if it stays a bit, I know that's not who I am because I'm someone of integrity and value and honesty Does that make sense Because we get swept away with thinking we're like a leaf on the ground that gets swept away with a strong wind And we lose our footing And sometimes we can't control the wind but eventually we'll come back down softly think about a leaf just coming down softly Softly to the ground we ground ourselves that ground is our values. That's what we stand on So who are you as a person? What do you value in your life over everything else? That's why it's so easy for me to talk about mental health anxiety depression suicide because I value honesty I value human emotion. I value connection I value vulnerability I value struggle I value self-improvement getting to know myself and others more than anything That's why I can do what I do And that's why you can too Okay, so let's review these things and I just want to go over the suppression part too Okay, and I'll give you a little three-word tip at the end All right, so What am I looking for when it's rumination? All right, and then suppression. Let's go over this a little bit. All right When you compress and suppress And push down a spring think about a spring and you're just pushing it down with more force and more force and really pushing and really pushing Eventually that's gonna boom Pop back and hit you in the face Like i'm talking right in the face It's gonna hurt It's gonna come back 10 times as strong as if you just maybe left the spring alone If you just looked at it, why'd you have to fuck around with it? It's just a spring. It was minded its own business And that's the same with thoughts Sometimes we don't have to mess around with them and take them so seriously That's a big point. Sometimes I take myself too seriously Sometimes you might take yourself so seriously and we take ourselves seriously. We take our thoughts too seriously Oh, man They come and they go just like your moods came and went All right, let me let me hit you up with another example. You've held in farts before I know you have if there's a human being listening to this. We've all had to do it It's not pleasant I've had to do that at work so many times and you know you know that sometimes There's days where you can't You just can't So hopefully at work or at home you got a soft chair that can absorb the smell Absorb the vibration and sound so no one sees it. No one smells it either It's gotta be absorbed sit on a towel if you have to But we know what happens when we hold in these things If you hold it in long enough Man that causes some serious discomfort and then that's all we can think about You're trying to work you're trying to send an email. It's like geez. When can I fart? When am I allowed to let this baby go? So you keep typing you keep doing your work you still can't people are walking by there's no safe space You cause some harm And then the gas mixes with everything and your colon and the next thing you know when you try to fart you shart and you shit yourself We know what's happened to many We know what's happened so that one fart that you held in turned into you shitting yourself And that is what happens When you hold and suppress A thought and when you try to run away you try to distract yourself now seriously There are times for distraction There are times when you're holding it in there are times you don't want to face the thought right now cool Watch some netflix watch the office for the eighth time. I get it play some video games go for a walk Call a friend listen to music Listen to a podcast. I get it But if you can just notice it for a little bit Just a little bit just notice it real quick say all right. I see you you're there cool If you can stay there for a bit all right, whatever, but I'm gonna go on with my day. I'm gonna continue But I notice the thought You're not running away from it. You're not shaking your head being like what the hell is that go away? Go away. I don't want to think about you. I don't care. I don't I don't want to think this way Why am I thinking this way? It shouldn't be this way. It could have been different. It should have been different fighting reality against the thought the thought in itself is What's happening in the moment? You're having a weird-ass negative intrusive thought Let it come Let it blossom if it needs to And then let it fade away in the sunset. That's what thoughts do Let a thought do what a thought does. How about that for a little thing? Something to tell yourself. Hey thought I'm gonna let you do what you do I know you come and eventually you go So I'll let you do what you do How about that one and the other thing you can say when these thoughts come into yourself I've shared this on a youtube video a long time ago and I use it all the time You ask yourself is this useful When a negative thought comes in when a thought really that's putting you down Let's say like I'm a screw-up. Why'd I do that? Nobody likes me ask yourself those three words Is this useful? Is that way of thinking really useful? Is that serving me in the best way possible? Is that making me a better person? Is that in accordance to my values me putting myself down? Me hating myself me thinking I'm not as good as others Is this useful? So there you have it my friends a whole bunch of tools for you things to think about remember Thoughts they're just like waves. They come and go they fade and sink into the sand when they hit the shore When they hit your mind let it sink into the sand and then they'll go back Into the ocean they'll go back into the world They'll spread like memes as Richard Dawkins says So listen Don't try to rough it up with an iron you're doing a great job. Trust me Thoughts are weird this kind of stuff is weird and people seem to think that There's just quick fix after quick fix and you take this supplement and you get to Exercise and if you have a great family and great social network and a great job Then negative thoughts won't occur bullshit Someone's listening to this podcast right now has more money in the world that they know what to do with and they're still Struggling with negative thinking. I got a word. I got a message for you. First of all, I'd love some of your money But second of all that's okay It's all right that you're having these thoughts because that's what reality intended That's what nature demands. That's we're letting thoughts do what thoughts do Thanks so much for listening. If you're interested, please go to depression to expression calm All my information is there if you ever want to get in touch Uh, if you ever want to join the conquer anxiety program, that's over eight hours of video 40 lessons You get to keep everything forever Audio meditations my voice guiding you through these types of scenarios if you're interested just go to conquer anxiety course dot com And you'll be on the list and get some emails from me right into your inbox. Don't forget to check your spam and stuff but Thanks a lot for listening. I had fun with this one this was good and i'm practicing my patience and awareness and I'm practicing the The art of doing nothing and not moving towards distraction So i'm practicing all that with you Because we got time. We got time Stay strong. Keep being you. Don't forget to express yourself Bye. Bye