 Thank you so much Sayyed Haida for that recitation of the duwa that our holy prophets recited in the morning. It's just such a beautiful duwa. As-salam alaikum dear viewers, and welcome once again to Hijab and etiquette. Now today we're going to be discussing the topic of does the hijab put the Muslim woman in danger? Unfortunately every other day we're hearing of sisters going out for their daily lives, going to work, going to school, going to university, and being attacked, having people throw insulting comments at them, and even having people try to tear the scar from their head. And of course because of this it has created a feeling of fear and tension within our communities towards the hijab. Now once again I am joined by sister Masul Majafa. As-salam alaikum. How are you doing today? Alhamdulillah thank you. Alhamdulillah. Would you say that by us observing the hijab do you think that we're not integrating within the British society or the Western society? I don't think it's the hijab that's not allowing us to integrate. I think it's the values. I think there are certain values within the Western society which I as a Muslim choose not to take on. And that is because there are certain things that I don't agree with and that's my right. But I think integration is not about the clothes that I wear but about my attitude and my behaviour and the way that I talk to people. So I can integrate and I choose to integrate at the level that I want to integrate. So for example I can sit there and talk to my work colleagues but when they decide to go out for a meal I can choose to join them as long as there's no alcohol there. I will then say to them if they're going to a bar I'll say I'm sorry I will not come and join you there because it's against my values. And if they're not comfortable with that I don't think it's fair for them to put me in a position where I'm not comfortable with doing something that you know is being enforced on me. Yeah a good friend wouldn't do that to you if you're uncomfortable with something they're not going to force you or you know be at strangely with you because you're not happy with that. No exactly and I think you know integration has to be done I think we need to integrate but to the level that I want to and and why do I have to take on your values why can't you take on some of my values who says which values are more important to me. Or just agree to disagree. Exactly yeah so you know I'm not telling you what to do so don't tell me what to do that sort of principle it's you know it's like I'm not telling you not to go to the pub if that's what you choose to do but don't expect me to come there. You know and it and it's I think it's sort of compromising and sort of if I if I'm not going to eat because it's a non-halal restaurant then and you want me to come out with you then why not go to a halal restaurant what difference does it make whether you have halal food or not halal food. So you know it's sort of I think integration has to happen from both ends so I think you know both of us have to sort of come together rather than me having to give up to take on the western values. I honestly I think that we as muslims we put too much pressure on ourselves to kind of fit in as such it's like you know a good example of this was just last month we had the Tesco Christmas advert and which featured muslims you know buying food ready for Christmas and there were individuals who turned around and said like oh what right of day you know appearing in this Christmas advert they're muslims they don't even celebrate and it's like hang on a minute you want us to integrate within society and respect you know the traditional christian festivals yet when we do that you complain what can we do what can we do with such mentality but I think as as a population I think we are moving forward so just like we are respecting Christmas because that's that's the christian festival there are adverts that to do with my Ramzan and I think that's beautiful I think it's really nice that you know that things that we hold dear to us are being respected and I know again I know people will say oh it's a money-making you know it's for money that they're doing it fine that may be their reason but you know what at least I'm being acknowledged as a muslim I'm part of the community now that you're actually taking into consideration that you know what I do I do give to the community whether it's my money my time or whatever it is and then you're acknowledging that and I think that's beautiful it is beautiful and like it helps us out doesn't it because you know when we go shopping Tesco's Morrison's Waitrose if you're a bit more upmarket you know like you can go there and just like yeah I can get my halal me and like I can get decorations for Ramadan and Eids and not just for muslims but also like for Jews and Hindus like we're just I just love the fact particularly in this country that we're being more helpful and more understanding of the diversity of the people that live here I think I think that's really really important and I think you know it it takes away that intolerance because now you're actually trying you know understanding where I'm coming from you may not agree with it and that's your right not to agree with it but at least your understanding where I'm coming from and I think that's really nice and I think you know you're I mean you started off at the beginning talking about the fact that you know there are muslim women who are being attacked and and abused and so forth you know verbally physically um you're always going to have a handful of people who are going to do things like that I know when I was growing up I was not only the the only muslim but the only Asian person in my school and um I was constantly picked on because of my color um I couldn't do anything about that you know it's like I couldn't change my color um so I learned how to deal with it and again if I see my hijab as part of who I am then I won't take it off because some silly person is you know is put it making me uncomfortable this is who I am and I'm going to learn to be able to handle you and your and your pettiness you know it's it's it's and I find that usually other people will actually stand up and help you if someone is being silly and then throwing abuse at you um I think most people are are quite tolerant and and are nice people yeah yeah it's this idea that like if you were being attached you would want someone to stand up for you so if you see someone who's in trouble like you would you can't help but like want to get involved as such when you see that injustice taking place um so basically like the sisters in our community you know many of us we're afraid you know we're afraid of going out and doing our daily routines because we're afraid of getting attacked now do you have any practical advice for sisters who um to stay safe and make them feel a bit more secure I think like any sister I don't think it's to do with just being a hijabi I think as a woman you do feel a little bit more afraid in the world that we're living in at the moment so I think you know knowing um how to take care of yourself um just just even little things like walking with confidence being aware of you know the environment around you being aware who's with you who you know who's who's around you um uh you know self-defense again it's you know knowing self-defense is really really important because it gives me confidence then I know how to react when something horrible happens to me um and also I think as a muslim woman I think um I feel a little bit more confident because I feel like God is by my side I know he's by everyone's side but I feel that connection more um and I think realizing that gives me that confidence as well and to ensure you know and and we have such again powerful duwas um which we can recite um you know verses of the Holy Quran I will of course see the four calls and things like which we can use you know taking out saddaka things like that which again will help us you know help protect us um and you know so we have lots of things which we can do in order to ensure that you know we're protecting ourselves as much as possible but to use this as a reason to take off our hijab doesn't make sense to me at all because what you're doing is you're allowing those handful of silly people to win yeah you're allowing them to dictate to you how you should live your life um and you have where's that trust that Allah will help and take care of you yes and at the end of the day we have our graves those idiotic people they're not going to be there in the graves with us when we're being questioned about our lives so why do we give them that weight as such because at the end of the day you know we all have our own individual graves and these idiotic people that you know are trying to bring us down they're not going to be with us in the grave when we're being questioned about our lives so why do we give them such weight and precedence in our lives and it's just I I myself I swear by Ayatul Qureshi I I swear to god like I think that those few verses I think they impact on my daily life so much and as well knowing that Allah SWT is at your side you know when we um when we commemorate the martyrdom of your mum and Hussain alayhi salam when we think about how brave he was in Qadab-e-La when he was standing in front of that enemy army you know Ali al-Aqbar was gone Abbas was gone Habib was gone all his friends his nephews his companions they were all gone and he was all alone and we asked ourselves how did he have the courage to go out there and give up his life it was because he knew Allah SWT was to be beside him and he knew that it didn't matter what would happen to us in this dunia Allah SWT he sees everything and he will act on everything and no injustice will be spared on the day of judgment I know for sure and I don't think again you know you can't control what other people say and do but you can choose how you behave and what you say and do and again a lot of the times I think knowing that you know there are certain people that there's no point trying to explain the hijab to just ignore them just walk away from it it doesn't make you a coward it doesn't make you less of a person it doesn't mean that you can't answer them it's just you choose not to because they're not going to listen you know they're coming at you from a perspective of they've made up their minds they're not going to listen to what you're going to say yeah so what's the point and actually just you know if they're yelling at you just just just walk away just move away just go make sure you're you know you're in places where there are other people around so again you don't feel that you know you're on your own yes and and it's realising you know when people want to come and talk to me about my hijab I'm open to that but when you're going to sit there and start the conversation by shouting at me and shouting abuse at me I'm not going to be okay with that I'm not going to sit there and listen to that I'm going to you know I'm just going to walk away and and you're the one who looks silly not me yeah you know it doesn't it doesn't mean I don't you know no one looking at that would think oh she doesn't know how to answer that's why she's walking away they're going to be looking at that person and thinking you know how why is he having a go at her for her choosing to dress the way she wants to dress yeah there's absolutely nothing productive about it and no one deserves to be yelled at for such a stupid thing you're not hurting anybody by the way that you dress in the same way you know I don't know like a a girl walking down the street in a little summer dress like you know she's not hurting anybody by doing that that's her personal choice and it's interesting your statement reminded me of what Imam Ali alai salam said when he told us that there's no point in arguing with a fool because when you start arguing with a foolish person you've brought down to that level and also you've already lost because like they're so set in their mentality they're not going to listen to anything that you have to say unfortunately exactly exactly I think you need to choose your battles oh god yeah absolutely absolutely um I guess the the final thing that I would like to address is you know in the circumstance where a sister you know might feel like she is in danger or or all the below like she has been attacked like what what should she do in that situation I think again like any other any other sister you know whether she's wearing hijab or not the way that she would react so ensuring that this does not dictate how she's going to behave from now on and like she's going to you know not go out anywhere she's going to become very self-conscious you know you need to ensure that this person doesn't dictate the rest of your life so what it should do is make you um maybe take self-defense lessons um you know build your confidence um ensure you go out with a group of people rather than on your own make sure you don't go into places where you know um which seem a bit um dangerous to some extent so again being aware of where you are and you know who's around you is really really important um and and talking it through I think a lot of um when something bad has happened to us we internalize it and I think by talking it through it does help us move past it um and again the best thing to do is talk it through with God actually tell him how you feel tell him what's happened to you use him as your councillor he's the best councillor there like isn't it doesn't cost you anything either absolutely that's the best thing so you know and and ask him to give you the confidence to be able to continue with your life in the way that he would want you to continue with your life that's really lovely sister and um your advice is so useful inshallah I think I'll be using some of the things that we've talked about today but thank you so much for appearing on hijab and etiquette with me today um next up my dear viewers um your fit questions will be answered inshallah