 The narcissist is terrified of you leaving them, but just to make it clear, they don't really value you or care about you as a person. You're not special to them, they only care about themselves. And you're just their toy, you're just something they play with when they're bored. You're just an object, you're not significant to the narcissist. You're just something they like to use, but they see you as their property and they don't want to lose something that belongs to them. They fear that someone else might take you away because they're very insecure, which is why they try to compensate for that by acting like they're special and important, as though they're better than everyone else. Because deep down they feel inadequate, they feel like no one cares about them, like they don't even matter in this world. So they have to make up for that by acting as though they're the best and as though everyone wants them. So if they lose you, it's like an attack on what they think they are because they're telling themselves they're the best. They're telling themselves there's nothing better than them. But if you leave and you find a better situation without them, that means they're lying to themselves and then they have to face reality. They have to feel inadequate because if they were really the best, how could you move on and do better without them? Which is why they don't want that to happen. They would rather you stay with them and have no energy or money and with no help or support from them. Instead of you moving on and living your best life with someone else, that's how they're thinking in their minds. That's all that matters to them and it's what makes them want to make you stay. Even though they know you may not be happy with them because they don't want you to be happy without them. It would make them feel insignificant to see you moving on without them. To see you not even thinking about them because they have to tell themselves that they're the best so that they can feel significant. They don't really want you or care about you but they will still keep you around. Otherwise that means you'd have to move on and forget about them before they got the chance to do it to you and they don't want that to happen. Which is why if they know it's about to end, they will go out and try to find someone else in a determined and energetic pursuit of their needs. They will keep you around long enough just so they can find someone and then they can go because they've got someone else so they won't care. As long as they've got someone who has given them attention, as long as someone thinks they're special so that they don't have to go through the pain and suffering of you moving on from them, they have to be able to control the situation. They have to say that they didn't want you. They were already done with you so that they can feel good. They have to change the story. It can't be that they messed up and lost you. It has to be that you weren't what they wanted so they had to leave you. Everything they do is about themselves and their emotions. The only thing they really care about is how they feel about themselves. They don't care about anything else and they're very sensitive. Their feelings can change very quickly. They can change from one moment to the next. They're easily hurt and offended. Which is why they try to put themselves in the best situations where they won't have to deal with things that normal people have to deal with such as disappointment or feeling and losing. Which is why they can never be loyal to anyone. They can never be with just one person because if the ship is about to go down, they've got to have a backup option. They were never loyal to you. They always had someone else on the side. You just may not have known about it. But narcissists cannot put all of their eggs on one basket. They need to have other people just in case something goes wrong. Because things always go wrong with them. They've seen it happen before with other people they were with so they expected it to happen again. They're expecting you to get fed up and leave them or they're expecting something to go wrong for you. But they don't want you to leave. So they will pretend to be nice. But once you've let them know that something is wrong with them, that something is not perfect, it's all over for you after that. Because they don't want to feel like anything is wrong with them. So once you've told them that something is wrong, from that point on they're going to see it as though something is wrong with you and they need to get rid of you. Because if you can't see how special they are, you have no use to them. They have no purpose for you. But the crazy thing is once they do get rid of you or once you leave, they will beg for you to come back. They will apologize. They will cry. They will buy you gifts. Just so they can do the same thing all over again, it never changes. Because no matter what, they just can't do the right thing. Because if they did that, it would mean that something was wrong with them all along. It would mean that they were the cause of everything. It would mean that they messed up. Which is something they're never going to accept. Because they're telling themselves they're the best thing since life's bread. They're telling themselves everyone wants them. But you want to leave them. So now they have to act like you're the problem. So that they can feel good. Because the only thing that matters to them is how they feel. Rather than accepting the truth and reality of the situation. Which is that they did mess up. They did make mistakes. And they are the problem. They are the ones who need to be fixing things. Or they are the ones who need to be left. Not you. They're never going to accept that. But it's why they don't want you to leave them. Because they don't want to accept the truth that they messed up. They don't want to accept that maybe they're not so great after all. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonates with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. If you would like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching inquiries. You can email me at coaching at NARC Survivor at AccruUK. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.