 So one of the questions that's come in from participants in our training courses actually is around this idea of how do we mitigate the risk of developing PTSD or anxiety or depression for people living in these kind of conflict zones or around them, people that are aware of it. I would have to say I mean it's complex to give one single answer to very complex problems and sometimes can be foolish. But you know if you want a protective factor that we have found around the world that is a huge protective factor. I'll give you a story. When researchers went into war zones looking at you know thinking you know these people are so distraught about bombs around them and they were, they were. But what they found is the conversations of little girls were still about whether that boy likes me or not. It wasn't about the bomb that had just exploded two blocks away but does he like me? Does he not like me? So that highlights the importance of close relationships where you feel supported, where you feel that you can be yourself, that you can talk to someone. Not about your problems but just connect the human beings. You don't want to be talking to someone about your problems all the freaking time. That's true. That would make you really annoying by the way. So what you want to do is you be having close relationships where you can feel connected, you feel like you matter as a human being. Like if you if you were missing somebody would miss you. There's something about that sense of like normality that despite what's going on around us life continues and there's an importance to being present in the moment of the everyday life that's continuing because otherwise it's so easy to get sucked into all the negatives that's going on in the world. Whereas for most of us right here right now we're still healthy, we're still safe, we've still got our family, we've still you know we've got our day to day things that we can appreciate and enjoy and participate in so make the most of it you know. Be present in your life. Start with your closest relationships. Some people say oh I need to get more friends. Well are you part of a couple? Are you married? Are you have a partner? How about shoring that relationship? How much time do you spend together? With parents and children. To make it really really tight, really really solid. What about your kids? Make that relationship with them. They know that they can count on you. Show that up. Spend more time with them and then look at your relatives, look at your family members who is willing to to shore up that relationship with you. Not all of them would like it. Not all our girls and aunties and cousins are the same. You know but some of them do will appreciate that. So shore up those relationships. Make sure your community, your neighbors whoever you meet, you yourself, whoever your people are, but also become the kind of person that leads with kindness. Don't wait for other people to come to you. They say that everybody has a story that they don't talk about their causes and problems. I don't think so. You know most people are not that concerned about their negativity in story but there are some individuals that that is true. But what I have noticed is how little we connect in our communities these days because we're so self-sufficient. So we don't have to go next door for a cup of sugar anymore. I remember the days when that happened. You don't have to do that anymore. You can just go and buy two or three kilos of sugar anytime you want. It's cheap and people have that those means. But that's besides the point. What do you do when you go to the shops? How many people do you connect with? Do you give a smile? Do you say talk to the cashier to the girl behind the counter or the boy behind the counter? Do you ask them how their day is going? Do you give them a smile? You know what? It sounds so simple but it is it's so powerful. I mean I can't tell you the number of people we had calling us up over the last 12 months saying we need to support our frontline staff who are dealing with the public who are working in retail with customers or in other public facing roles on the phones perhaps. Because the levels of stress seem to be so high. People are on edge. People are anxious. Just one little thing goes wrong and they're ready to attack and we need to support our team members to deal with that because they're bearing the brunt of it every day. So we know that that's happening and yet last weekend I actually managed to get away for a very quick trip to the snow and had a great time. It was wonderful. But one of the things that I observed as a new skier completely amateur was just how many people were actually willing to help. Like you know funny story we made an accident went down the red slope. Apparently that's the expert's only slope. So for my third hour of skiing got stuck on the side of the mountain. But you know took it slow and managed to come down alive. But thanks to a lot of people stopping and saying oh can I help with this. Can I do you need a hand with that. Here I come this way or I'll carry this for you. You know there were so many people and I hadn't experienced that in a while because we have had so many people on edge out there and so what you're talking about those simple you know camaraderie things from complete strangers. Loving is simple. To be loving is simple. The reality is to be loving is hard. It takes experience. It takes maturity. It's a choice. To be loving is a choice. You know because at the end of the end if you decide that everybody's an asshole everyone is an asshole. That's true. But if you decide that everybody's worthy of your consideration and a little bit of your love that's also true. And it takes effort to make that decision. I'm gonna go out there in the world today and you know instead of just you know in zombie mode as a robot go about my grocery shopping or whatever and just getting what I need if you actually make the decision to go out and connect with the people around you and be in that moment I think it can make such a difference if collectively we do that. And now I'm going to make it proviso. Of course this is at the social level this is something that we can do that is very very practical for our mental health and for other people's mental health. However if you need more serious help to deal with an issue of course access therapy. Access therapy or coaching whatever with a qualified coach of course whatever is needed to get some clarity to get some stuff out of the way. Okay so we're not saying mental health is trivial and it can be easily fixed. What we're saying is that there are things we can do in a very practical way that are hard to do because the choice to be loving it's a hard choice. Yeah it's not a simple choice. But we come we can do it. Everybody's capable of that. And then there are certain things that we need extra help. We need to talk to somebody that has been trained as a psychologist, a therapist or a coach or a pastor or a priest whatever it is and or a respected friend that have got their shit together. Yes. Not that it's exactly like us. And sometimes a friend who's going to tell you something that may not be so comfortable to hear but you know they come from a loving place. Yes but you may need to work on those things that that might be additional. Okay but don't think that if you feel bad it's always because something that happened to you. We can feel bad because of the things that are happening today. It's okay. Look well I mean just a little bit of research when you look at trauma and PTSD in particular what they've found is particularly there was a study around Australia and New Zealand with thousands of people found that up to 75% of people will experience a traumatic event in their lifetime. I mean it's not that uncommon for people to go through stuff. Having said that only 5 to 10% of people would actually go on to develop PTSD as a disorder where therapeutic help is needed. So the big question then is why some people completely find the majority of people are fine even with a traumatic event like a war an earthquake or something and yet there's this small percentage. What's the difference? What is it? And so far it's not like you can pin it on one thing there's a number of different factors. It can be age, age plays a role, gender plays a role, personality plays a role. Not much we can do about those. This is what I was going to say. The things we do have control over are coping skills, belief systems and our resilience. So that's what we can be doing. If we want to fortify ourselves for whatever may come is about build our coping skills, build our resilience, look at our belief systems. We can all do that no matter where we are on that mental health continuum. We can all do that and that's some of the skills that we teach in training. So there is hope. We don't know where the world is going but we do know that if we stick together as much as possible we can make our part of the world a little bit better. And that's what we encourage you to do. Make the choice to be loving. Nicely said. Yeah. Hi, I'm Amy Golding, Director of Psychology for the Workplace Mental Health Institute. We hope you liked the video. If you did, make sure to give it a thumbs up. 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