 If you started dating somebody who had a lot of tattoos who decided to give Ryu's name tattooed on him, I would not fuck with him. It would be an issue between me and him. And it wouldn't affect how I showed up for Ryu, but I think that me not being getting along with him for that decision because it's frivolous, because it's like, it doesn't need to go that far, it's another sign for me of you trying to replace me. What's going on everybody? Popping in to give a shout out to the sponsor of this video that you're watching right now, Squarespace. Now, it's still early in the year, a little bit, you know, pre-summer, so it's time for you to get started on that next big idea. And if you're gonna do a big, do it with Squarespace. Build a website, launch an online store, use their mailing list and other marketing tools to get that big idea started. Squarespace is an all-in-one platform to build a beautiful online presence. So go to squarespace.com slash Shambutti to get 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Again, that's squarespace.com slash Shambutti to get 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. What's up, lovers and friends? Welcome to my panel of lovers and friends. Hey. On the far left, we got Sam, never seen this motherfucker before, brand new. You caught it, everyone. Yeah, I did. I think so. We could beep it out though. Okay. All right. See here. Sam is new to the shared entertainment team. He is our newest editor and we're happy to have you here today. Happy to be here. What a new TV land. This is Jared Brady, my love. Yes. My life, my life partner. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I'm Shambutti. This is Los, my love, my life, my late partner. Hey. Thank you. Yes. All right. So the reason why I gather you guys here today is because something very fascinating happened in the land of the Kardashians, which I'm not sure why I am very plugged into their existence. So you obviously assembled the right panel for Kardashian's hot takes. You do. I do. I was like, okay. Because we were very plugged into the Kardashian. I mean, they're like Coke at this point. They're just like everywhere. What an L.A. statement. I've actually never been offered Coke in my life. Did you mean Coke? Coke. Coke or Coke? I was talking about Coke and Coke. That's what I thought he was talking about. I'll be honest. I knew what you were talking about. I thought he was talking about drugs. You were talking about drugs, Sam. I mean. I was on the same page with you. Thank you. I knew what you meant. We swear we talk about drugs. Welcome to my channel. All right. The reason why I don't watch the show, I'm not necessarily a fan of any of theirs, but their stuff is always in my zeitgeist. And I thought this was interesting that Pete Davidson got a tattoo with the initials of all of Kim Kardashian's four kids. Too far. Yeah. Too far. That's weird. Too far. Can I just contextually explain why I gathered everybody here? Los, you have a stepdad who you refer to as dad. Yep. Jared, you have a stepdad who tattooed your name on his arm. So you have personal experience with this. Yes. I have been a stepmom before and now that we have kids, I think about what that would look like. And Sam. Why? Why do you think of that? I don't. Okay. Okay. Okay, Sam. Sam, Sam, Sam, what were you saying? Sam, you have a kid. I have a kid and I have a stepfather in all the nine yards, yes. Oh, interesting. And you and your baby mama, sorry for the term, are split up so potentially, did your kid have a stepdad? Not yet. So this is something you have to think about. It is something I have been thinking about and I try really hard not to think about because one of those things where if you haven't kind of fully moved on yet, it spirals into all sorts of crazy things you definitely don't want to think about. Yeah. Like it's new. And so it's one of those things where you'll think about it when it gets there sort of thing. Interesting because I would think that it would be a positive thing to look forward to. Yes, but there is a level of insecurity that comes with like having a stepfather in his life where it's like, you know, there are pros and cons like yes, there's another father figure that kind of helps out when you're not there, but also, you know, is this guy going to replace me? Is he gonna be called dad? Like, am I the secondary of my kid on his neck? Yeah. It's even gonna be a good stepdad. It might be a piece of shit. Yeah. There's so many elements that come into saying there's a bonus dad in the world, in your world. And it's like, how do you navigate all the weird? Cause it's already hard enough to navigate co-parenting and whatever else you're doing. But then you have this other guy who's been not in your life at all and now he's in your life potentially for the rest of your and his life. And so now it's a really big like, how does this work? Yes. That's very fascinating. I understand the sentiment, you know what I mean? Like as far as like where my stepdad got the tattoo, I think it was a display of love and affection and a display that saying that like, hey, I'm here for you for life type of thing. But at the same time, just tell me that, you know? Just tell me, hey, I love you and I'm here for your life. I think the tattoo, it crosses a boundary for the actual father that I don't think that person is thinking about. I think Pete Davidson was definitely thinking about that. He was doing it just to spite Kanye. Not just to spite, but there's no way you don't consider how the other parent might feel. He had to know that that was gonna set Kanye off in some way, whether it was publicly or privately. I guarantee Kanye doesn't fuck with that. I mean, I don't, I mean, he's been dating for what? 10 minutes and you already got the kid's name on? Like, that's some creep ass behavior. It's definitely weird behavior, but also Pete Davidson's this kind of person who pushes the envelope wherever he can. That's just like his brand. Well, to be fair to the entire thing, he does also have Kim, he has my girl, there's a lawyer tattooed on him as well. And he had Ariana Grande tattooed. And then he removes tattoos all willy-nilly. So they're not as permanent as they seem, but I think the sentiment in general, as a parent, the thing you fear the most is the evil step parent. The one who undermines your kid, who does a lot of the work that you put in to tell your kid that you are lovable, you are worthy, you are enough. And then in reverse actually says like, you're nothing, you're nobody tries to diminish them in order to get more power in the relationship. So I would be- Were you making a case that the tattoo is actually a benefit to the kids? In regard to the fact that Pete Davidson gets tattoos, it's not as if he only has, if I got a tattoo, it'd be weird. I don't have any. That's the one I chose. He has many and he is saying like, you guys are an important part of my life. I don't understand the tattoo culture, but I think it's Eric on the side of positive rather than negative. I agree with you, but we gotta talk about intent and impact. And so I know how I felt when, I think my stepdad got the tattoo pretty early on in dating my mom. And it was a setback. It kind of drove a wedge between our relationship. Only because I was like, that's- You weren't fully comfortable with it. Yeah, I was like, that's kind of tough for me. As somebody who again, was a stepparent for a period of time, that relationship is very difficult to build. I think the first thing you have to do is establish obviously respect for the person that you're dating and show that you care for them. That's most importantly, like I'm actually a good contributor to your parents' life. Secondly, you do have to establish good communication with the real parental, with the biological parent on the other side. So that should be established. And then it is about establishing a relationship with the kids. Once you've done those other things, that relationship actually is the most important. We focus so much on the egos of the parents, rather than the well-being of the children. Yeah, but let's think about it this way. Don't you think that the well-being of Pete being okay and friends with Kanye is more beneficial to the kids seeing that this is an actual beneficial to my life? Rather than being like Kanye, my dad doesn't actually like Pete Davidson. And part of that reason is because he has my initials tattooed on his neck. And I think a lot of step parents don't understand that they're here to help rather than being the parent. So do you think it's performative then? I don't know if it's performative. I don't even think it's performative. I think that it probably is, he probably did it with reasonable intentions. I don't want to say the best intentions because I do agree with you. I think that part of it probably was like, this is cool, but also I get to stick at the Kanye a little bit. But if he's doing those things already, this becomes an addition. So we don't have the subcontext of that. That's true, we don't have that subcontext. If he's not actually a present step parent. And I think in the case of your Jared, the tattoo came before an example of how he would be a father, your life came. Yeah. And that's why the wedge came. The only difference was is that I was 19. I was like probably 20 at the time. I was already in a grown adult. I was on my own. I wasn't living at home. So it was hard for him to establish father figure with me regardless. I think the tattoo just kind of put it in the perspective of like, I don't really know how to feel about this because I know that those are permanent and I know that those mean a lot. I didn't feel like our relationship warranted a tattoo. I can imagine Kanye not being cool with Pete Davis and having- Can't see Kanye be like, man, it's an awesome tattoo dog. Let's go get matching ones. All those egos, of course, there's still emotions wrapped up in the divorce and then the way things are playing out. We're all again hypothesizing here. But if as a parent you see someone step into that father figure role and they do an incredible job and your kids adore them, despite how you personally feel about that person, wouldn't everything else melt away? No, no, I'm not gonna lie. If some dude got a tattoo of my son somewhere, these hands are about to be ready for everyone. Like I'm just saying, I would not be happy. As much as I wanna be like the bigger adult in the case, I am still a Neanderthal human being type. I will still be not very happy about this. At the end of the day, my desire is to be here for Ryu. And if you started dating someone who was incredible, let's say you started dating Jesus Christ. I would be like, that's the only way I can level up. I'm gonna share it. Apparently so. Apparently Jesus. Man, they totally have them share. No, but really, I just want Jesus Christ to understand that you're helping. You're not the parent. And as long as you respect that boundary and allow me to still be a parent, I'm okay with you being involved. And that's always been like a big problem where it's like how involved can this person be? And that's not just between those two. It's literally between like every single person involved with the relationship because it affects so many people. And everyone has to come to a level of compromise to understand that. And when it's new, yeah, that's really hard. When things start dying down, you start talking about these things, then yes, we get to decide, okay, how involved is he? Is he doing baseball games? Is he talking to men? Is he getting tattoos on him? Like these matter and the fact that Kanye West, it doesn't sound like he was part of this discussion. That's a big issue, not necessarily for Pete Davidson. He's gonna do what he does, but like for that whole dynamic. Cause he ain't going away. He's gonna be there for the rest of everyone's life. I don't know. I think that you guys are focusing again on like the egos of the adults involved. And we used to live in a world where villages and communities raised children. And yes, you had a biological parent, but you had many different fathers and many different mothers or people. But they didn't get mad. And they didn't get any tattooed on their neck either. We're thinking of that as a symbolic way. But all in all, I wouldn't care. I think maybe I'm coming from the standpoint that we don't have anybody who feels that invested in Ryu's life. So I would be so honored if someone came in and took on the level of responsibility or care as a parent. But the egos matter. Because you don't know when it's a supporting or someone who's attempting to replace you. Because that's a very real thing. The thing is being replaced. But I don't live in a scarcity model world. I don't live in a world where there's only one mom or one dad or one this. But I believe in this world because it happened to my dad. Yeah. My dad was getting a temp to be replaced. It took him about three years to actually get to visit me because of my mom. That fear doesn't land on me. Yeah, but you're not in that space. But I can put myself mentally there as a mom. Like, you know, if you were to date someone else, I can't put myself in that mind frame where I'd be like, I'm afraid of being replaced. But again, I get that. I'm coming from the other spectrum of things where I'm like, God damn it, I wish that there was. 90% of the time when things split between parents. It's never 15. The woman gets custody of the kid. So there is no way that you are never going to not be mom. Did that replacing happen for you? Well, to an extent, yeah, because my father wasn't around. I feel like it's more rare to have a step parent step in and really truly encompass and want to encompass that role than to have somebody the opposite where it's like, I don't actually want to have much to do with your kids. So when you're going back to your ego point, I think that is a very true point because the ego of the parents matter because that dictates how the love is getting transferred to the kids. So like if Kanye's ego is hit, that directly affects the kids. If Kim's ego is hit, that directly affects the kids. And I think that that has to be considered when you're making a decision like a tattoo, it only does something for you and your connection with Kanye. If you started dating somebody who had a lot of tattoos who decided to give Ryu's name tattooed on him, I would not fuck with him. It would be an issue between me and him. And it wouldn't affect how I showed up for Ryu, but I think that me not being getting along with him for that decision because it's frivolous, because it's like, it doesn't need to go that far. It's another sign for me of you trying to replace me. For me. As a dad, what would make you comfortable with that guy getting Ryu's name on him? I don't think I would ever be comfortable with that. There's no level of time served or anything that would be comfortable with that, no. I mean, I would take that into consideration. That was your feelings. You started dating a woman who like Amherst Gromberg, Cleo. A lot of tattoos and then they developed a relationship and a bond and like their story was explained to me in that way that she really enjoyed them and that's why I did this for her. I would be like, okay. And I would definitely hold her to a higher standard. I would definitely hold her more accountable of like if this can't be an act, like you said, that's basically, what's the word you used? Performative. If I feel it's performative, I'm gonna hold you to that. But if you're actually following through with that and you're living your life every day, that's a point of a tattoo. That is something that represents my everyday value system. And I see that reflected. What can I say to them? Thanks. But even though you're not like celebrating it, it's just like, okay, it's like, I guess. It's not about me. I mean, it's not why I celebrate. My celebration, of course, I'm not happy with a tattoo. There's plenty of step-parents who get to have a great relationship with the step-child that doesn't need to get the tattoo. All the tattoo's gonna do is make it uncomfortable for the father or the mother. It doesn't need to be there. You don't have to get the tattoo. And just as personal as that tattoo can be, it's also weaponized. Like, look how round up he's getting, just by talking about it, it hasn't even happened. It's a huge weapon against the person that you used to be with. It is a, not as a, I don't wanna say like a form of violence, but it is a form of- It's an aggression. It's basically getting punched in the face. I mean, I guess- You're just very evolved. I'm not very evolved. And that's great. I'm not saying that. I'm happy for you. I know I could date women and get Ry's name tattoo on it. We know the opposite end of the spectrum is, hey, we bought Christmas gifts for everyone, but your kid. We did and got special snacks for everybody, but you, because there is so much fear of the biological parent that they don't- But they're not mutually exclusive to me. So on one end of the spectrum, you've got the person who's so afraid of disrespecting or violating the other parent that they don't contribute or they don't get so involved in the kid's life, which is to their detriment. On the other end of the spectrum, which I'm admitting is the other end of the spectrum is getting that kid's name tattooed on your neck, which again, arguably- Arguably- Yeah, but don't sit there and don't sit there. Sit in the middle. Sit in the middle. It's about the respect and the compromise that three or more parties, because you might also have someone you're dating who's also now a part of this, everyone has to come to the table. Everyone has to come to the table and respect whatever boundaries that need to exist. Pete's body, Pete's choice. You're not wrong, but- We're not saying you're wrong. It's okay. I'm just saying, it's just weird, all right? It's just- I think, yeah. Listen, I learned, I learned, I see the perspective. Please go ahead and finish your point, Los. I will say, I agree with Jared. I don't, is it inherently wrong or right? To your point, it's Pete's body. He can tattoo it. If he wants to tattoo miracle whip on his chest tomorrow, he can do so. But that doesn't make it not weird. Just because it's your body and your choice doesn't take away the fact that I'm gonna feel some type of way about it. And it's just, it's kind of weird, bud. I'm gonna add on to that too. It might be his body, might be his choice, but that doesn't save him from the consequences that are rendered of the action. Yeah, sir. Like, it doesn't protect you just because it's yours, you know? Yeah. My stepdad, my dad, paid his dues with me. I love that man and I look at him just as much as my dad as I do my biological father because of the way he showed up to me consistently throughout my life. But that's consistently throughout my life. My stepdad didn't show up. My dad, again, I don't even wanna say step, I feel awkward saying stepdad. My dad didn't show up 10 days after we started dating my mom. And I was like, hey, look what I got, junior. Like, no. And even after they got married, they didn't instantly ask about changing my name. My dad put in work. So he's earned the right to if he wants to get my name tattooed on him. I wouldn't have, I'd be like, oh, shit. Okay, he doesn't have tattoos. So that would be weird. But had he had tattoos, I wouldn't trip off of it. Yeah. Yes. Someone's on my side. I'm not on your side. I think we can end. I'm not on your side. I'm completely not on your side. I'm saying that you have to earn the right to do that. You don't get, and not only that, my father was not around. My birth father wasn't there. So Kanye's still trying to be there. Whereas my dad was doing his thing. Well, this is a good conversation. We got two on one side, two on the other. No, we don't. We don't have two on one side. Pete Davidson, you're a nutcase. What do you think in the comment section below? Absolutely not. Is it too far? Is it a punch in the face? Or is it a high five in the right direction? He said no one ever. It might be a high five for Pete. Thank you so much for watching that video. I gotta remind you guys again, how much we love Squarespace. I mean, our whole family loves Squarespace. I mean, we use it all across the board. Shan, Lauren, me, and I'm sure Ry you will when she gets old enough. Listen, Squarespace is the most user-friendly, even for me who has no idea how to code. I find that I can customize the websites to my liking however I want, and they have amazing templates. I mean, beautiful templates, stunning templates. I mean, modern templates, things that if I were to go to a website, I would think a super-duper high-tech coder made this website. And if you have a mailing list, look over to Switching Over to Squarespace because it is the most cost-efficient one that I've found so far, and I've used a lot of them, and they can get pricey. Head over to Squarespace.com and start playing around for free, and when you're ready to launch, go over to Squarespace.com slash Shan Booty to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or a domain. Again, that is Squarespace.com slash Shan Booty. Save 10% off. Let's go. Let's get it. Let's go. Let's get it. Let's get it. Let's get it. Let's get it. Let's get it. Let's get it. Let's go. Here for that, Ziggy wet Pull out a stack, flippin' and gettin' it Let's get future down, we so tipsy now It's a wearin' chinchilla Put that in show mama I'ma snap