 makes the narcissist come back? What makes them return to you? Whether or not a narcissist comes back can depend on whether you discarded them or they discarded you. If you discarded the narcissist, it is very likely that they will come back. But if they discarded you, it is less likely. But that doesn't mean that they won't return. If you discarded the narcissist, their ego will be bruised. They will feel unimportant and they will feel as though you attacked them as though you made their lives inconvenient, which is something that they can't let go of so easily. It's something that they will hold on to for a very long time. Narcissists are very bitter and resentful. They hold grudges. They are vengeful and vindictive. So they will come back with their flying monkeys to punish you for rejecting them because they were not ready to let you go. They were still getting in supply. They were still getting money or a place to stay. You brought a lot of conveniences to their lives. Things that they didn't want to let go of because there was no other alternative for them. They didn't have anyone else that was going to provide those things to them. When you discarded them, it caught them off guard. They didn't expect it to happen. These aren't looking at their own actions or the potential consequences of what they're doing to you. So all they see is someone who is abandoned in them without help and support. They lack empathy, so they're not concerned with the effects that their behaviour has had on you. They're only concerned with their own feelings and needs. When you discard the narcissist, they get very envious and jealous. They see you as an object that exists to serve them. In their minds, you belong to them. So when you remove yourself from their lives, they feel like they're being robbed. They feel like you're taking something valuable away from them. So naturally they are going to chase after you. They're going to hunt you down and try to pull you back in. They will stalk and harass you. They will cause all kinds of problems in your life so that you just want to return to them to make it stop. When you discard the narcissist, everything they do after that is either designed to get you back or it's designed to get something from you. If you do let them return, they might return to the love bombing. They might give you a fake apology and act as though they realize what they did wrong because they want you to trust them again. They want you to give them another chance. But they're not coming back to improve your relationship. They're not coming back to support you in any way. When they return, their behaviour will soon be even worse than before. They're coming back to extract what they need from you and they're coming back to punish you for everything you saw wrong with them. They will throw you under the bus. They will screw you over. They will plot to destroy you. They will use other people and things to get to you. To have an effect on your life. If you discard the narcissist, unless they still have a use for you, they're only going to come back to get revenge. If the narcissist discarded you, in some situations they won't return. But there are occasions where they will. If they discarded you, it may be a longer time until they return to you because they're going to be with a new supply. They're not going to be thinking about you. But the narcissist will prefer to never return to you because they know that would be the ultimate punishment. They know that would cause you the most pain. But if they see that you're starting to recover and you become happier and healthier, that is when they will come back. They hate it when your mind is not on them. They want you to be thinking about them at all times. They want you to have a hope that maybe one day they might return because it gives them supply. It makes them feel good to know that someone wants them. But if you move on and forget about them and you build a better life without them, that is when they will want to come back. They will want a slice of the pie. They will come back because they see that there's more that they can get from you. The only reason why a narcissist is ever going to be around you is because they think they can get something from you. And if they've gotten things from you in the past, they're going to think that they can do it again. But they're only going to extract whatever you've got and then do the same thing all over again. They're only going to come back if it puts them in a better position. If it benefits them in some way, they will come back like nothing happened. They will not be thinking about what they did to you. It won't be of any concern to them. Their main focus will be to place themselves back in your life where they are able to extract what they need from you. The narcissist is only going to come back if they think you have something that they want. Even if it's just your happiness and contentment. They will come back to take it from you. They will punish you. They're only going to come back to take something. That's the only reason why a narcissist would want to be around anyone. They feel entitled to whatever you have. They feel like they have a right to be in your life. They come back because they're expecting you to take them back. They're not expecting you to reject them. They're arrogant and entitled. They expect you to see it as a privilege to be around them. Even though they don't do anything for you. Which is why you need to reject their Hoover attempts. Don't let them back in. Because nothing is going to change. They have to see themselves as being superior to you. So they expect you to serve them. They expect you to tolerate the mistreatment and abuse. They're not coming back because they love you. They're not coming back because they care about you. It's only because they want something from you. Which is why you need to focus on healing yourself. To protect yourself in case they do decide to return to you. They only come back to take or destroy. They never come back to build anything with you. They don't have the tools to build anything significant or meaningful. Which is why if you discard them or they discard you. They don't really miss you. All they miss is what they were getting from you. If they could have it without you. They would never come back again. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonates with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. If you would like to donate. My PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching queries. You can email me at coachedatnaxify.co.uk. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.