 Don't fast forward this part. There's an important message that we're about to tell you while we're giving away some shit Well, so check this out. There's two things that are happening right now. Number one When this airs you're gonna have a few hours left of our 50% off maps anabolic Super sale so maps anabolic our foundational program and we revamped it by the way new video demos CRISPR cleaner squeaky clean handsomer. Yeah It's maps anabolic better this time 2.0 and it's half off 50% off This will be ending within a few hours of this initially airing here. Here's part two This is exciting now to believe it or not two of our most more popular programs That we offer at mind pump media comm number one is the no BS six pack formula We don't talk about it a ton on the show, which is kind of shocking as to why it's so popular It's one of those word-of-mouth Programs, I think a lot of people like have an awesome abs I mean, let's be honest and it really tackles that particular area with sound science and exercise programming It's not it dispels all the myths So you got to do high reps for your abs all the time and it's a completely different muscle and train it Different yeah, we will teach you how to train your abs in a way that'll actually help develop your abs Now why would you want to develop your abs? Because when your abs are more muscular they stick out more you see them more at higher body fat percentages I've had people Tons of people who've done the program who were lean who struggled to really have a visible six pack at 10% body fat Not get any leaner just follow the no BS six pack formula and then they had more visible abs I've also gotten comments with people who said that they've got a six pack when they flex But they didn't have a six pack when they didn't flex Well now that they've developed their abs with the no BS six pack formula it actually it actually shows when the relax stays there And the second program that's getting a lot of that's been popular that we don't talk about much as our occlusion guide occlusion training It's an advanced technique, but it's one of those things that if you're if you've been working out for a little while And you want to add one small new technique to your repertoire This one will give you visible results in a very short period of time, especially in your weak body parts It's great for calves. It's great for arms It's a good tool to always just kind of have and go towards it is and we teach you how to do it properly with the occlusion guide So here's what's gonna happen No BS six pack formula and occlusion guide you get them for free if you enroll in our super maps bundle The super maps bundle has maps in a ball like mass performance maps aesthetic maps anywhere and maps prime It is absolutely by far most complete Bundle it will set you up It'll set you up forever basically where you have all the programs you need to Exercise and train. They all got tons of exercise demos. They all come with blueprints and gotten in sample guides and basically it's all you need the super maps bundles got everything and now it has The no BS six pack formula and the occlusion guide which we're gonna throw in for absolutely Now we have the YouTube channel that we have that's complimenting all those exercise So we go to our YouTube channel mind pump TV and you'll find a huge library of exercises Where we've actually started to put the logo of whatever program you're currently going through so you can interchange Different exercises with that program so it complements whatever program you're doing So if you've already gone through the program once or twice, that's why Sal said it's all you'll ever need it is and really our goal is to Get as close to be able to being able to personal train people as possible And I think we're we're further than most people and we're gonna continue to go further So again super maps bundle it's got all the maps programs every maps You know who has more maps in this probably who Magellan? That's probably it. That's hilarious. Yeah, you can find all these programs at mind pump media comm If you want to pump your body and expand your mind There's only one place to go mind With your hosts Sal DeStefano Adam Schaefer and Justin Andrews Have you guys ever been outside in the situation and been presented with accidental porn? What what? Yeah, that doesn't make sense. Oh, yes it does from somebody else No, no, no, no, no, it makes when I tell you the story then you'll understand what somebody has presented Accidental porn well here. I named it that because here's what's happening I better get you because I'm pretty sure at some point your lives. You've seen accidental porn. Hmm. So I was at the store and There was a young lady. Mm-hmm quite attractive Walking to her car and she had like a kind of a like a dress on because it's been it's been it's been warm rather warm recently And she's walking by and here in the music and there's a car There's a dude a car with two dudes driving by and both and they had to kind of stop to get out of it out of the parking lot Yeah, and both of them are just like watching her right? So I'm cracking up because they're watching this girl Yeah, they're watching this girl walk by it. It's just hilarious Because you know, you know, of course guys are like, oh, what do they call his dogs because we act like dogs so yeah, they're watching her walk and It's it it was just like it's almost like, you know, I know I don't talk about or I don't I'm not necessarily like I don't believe in like the things you guys believe in like oh, there's God Okay, but it's sometimes we're separate here. Sometimes I think to myself like this wasn't this was definitely an act of a Higher power like something. This is not one of those. This is not by chance. So now you bring Why are you bringing Jesus into this? I don't know. I don't know. Jesus. I don't know Well, because let me tell you what happened like I'm looking at these dudes are looking I'm cracking up because the car now in front of them is gone. They're still sitting there like stuck and the perfect gust of wind Came and bro it blew her fucking dress over her head Like it didn't just like flutter it like when poor girl over her head Okay, but this is the best part this recent this avenue. This is crazy. How are we just getting this story? Oh, it's just a blue over her head. It was like a Marilyn Monroe No, dude because situation that what movie was that where she walks over the vent and it blows the dress, right? So let me ask you guys this you guys are you guys are you guys have some expertise in physics or at least a basic understanding of physics Yeah, we're all scientists it would require for a dress to flip over your fucking head It would require wind from the ground coming up, right? Mm-hmm. She didn't walk over a vent or anything Wind is coming sideways at the best. I don't understand the physics at the wind machine I don't that's what I'm saying. It feels like an angel Went underneath and in in lift is just breezed. Yeah underneath because it went over her head, bro It made it happen like over her fucking head poor girl and she had No wonder we're on what there was nothing there lie. I'm not lying lie through your face right I'm G. I'm gonna do this one of these things right here where you clap and talk. I am not lying You know yeah, people argue like that. So anyway, but the wind blew it over her head Nothing was on and because it's over her head and she had the car the poor girl. It took her at Least two seconds to figure this out like oh shit and she grabbed and pulled it down and I immediately look at these guys and the looks on the crash the looks on their faces was like Like did like what like they just saw Like a they just saw like a paralyzed man start to walk or some kind of yeah Yeah, well Lazarus came back from the day something like did that just and then they look at me And we all make eye contact and you guys know guide code right when something like that I don't know who these fuckers. Oh, this is like a this is like a silent fist bump in the air Let's be honest your mouth was probably this big. I was just like what's just go what just happened here, right? Yeah, I look at the guys and we all look at your eyes like Everybody's looking at each other and every and they give me the nod like we've like we've all just bonded over this very We don't need to say anything. Yeah right now. It's like you all saw a UFO together. It's just like I saw that We don't need to tell anybody. Yeah, let's just keep this to ourselves Yeah, no one's gonna believe and they drove off like I don't believe you right now But she and I felt attractive She was attractive enough to where the guys the guys The guys were staring at her before yeah, this miracle happened. They were already watching her I had a miracle. Yeah, how was I knew it? I knew it sparks something because you never forget a moment like that I'm playing pool and you know this girl was like You know she was she was going for a shot and everything and then she see here's a thing though Like she wasn't wearing underwear and she was wearing a skirt. I feel like this was pre Planned, you know, like it was one of those things like eventually like enough guy like we're all sitting in the corner And we're doing our thing playing pool mind our own business and then just out of the corner You have this like sensor that goes off. Yeah, you know, yeah, it's just like this strange thing in the air It's like it's just yeah scientists are actually studying this at the moment. Yeah, or at least they should be it's like an extra It's like the seventh sense. Yeah, you know, yeah, and like so It's been over and like, you know, just out of corner. We all just like looked over like wait It had to register first. So she's just bent over the table playing pool There was nothing and you could see the entire situation. Yeah, it was very like we had to take a big breath after that like You know, and then we kept playing so let me ask you this Because the power the women have it's crazy. Well, so when this happened It's amazing how they get the fact that we even sit here and we talk about all this stuff that we get There's no women aren't sitting around. Oh my god. Did you see that time? Did you see the guy? Yeah, right? He was bulging. Yeah, they do talk about that. I do. I will I will get confirmation Because there's like, you know, there's some dude that's you know, he's got the pants that are just like just smothering it Yeah, I mean Why'd you grab down your leg? That's a big hog Yeah, like, you know trouser trout like they're it's pronounced stops. They're stuff sock stuffers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I mean, they tell me they don't talk about that Oh, yeah, I don't think they really do not like guys do They would this is how a girl would talk to you say that a girl would be like, oh my god No, this guy was like walking and his pants came nice dick hang out. Oh, it's so gross. You see totally different No, they have another code, but it's code nonetheless But when I'm so here's the thing like it's accidental porn because I've seen a naked butt probably a Crudrillion times. I just made that number up, but it's a lot. There's a lot of times. I've seen it It's nothing I've never seen before but because it was on accident and in public Well, you're not trying to be a creep or anything and be like, no, no, it just shove your head It just happened. I was like what the fuck Why have I been present? Well, it's like the difference of being a holiday your birthday and when someone gets you a gift out of the blue There's nothing cooler than like, you know, July July 17th You know, could you imagine like you come to the studio July 17th? And I got you a laptop and just said hey, bro. This is for you Wow, just because I like you cuz it's July that right there would be so much more powerful than if I bought it God did that when I saw that well, I believe that I know I know you think God was like, hey, yeah, buddy This is for you want to cheer you up a little bit. Yeah Especially when he likes you he likes you that's kind of like Got you bro now you ever have a sneak peek you ever have a situation like this where you're you're almost like you're Conflicted on what's gonna happen like you're seeing a woman like this is horrible by the way Which she's gonna like breastfeed and she pulls out a boob, but you're not expecting it So you're like yeah, like it's a very conflicting like Like it's an invite for you. Well, no, it's just you feel like She pull your nipple out for me right? It's just it's just very like hold back cuz nobody does that here. It's only weird when she makes eye contact with you when she does back She's she's pulling it out to feed her baby, but she's looking at you across That's different. It happened to me not that long ago because in this country women don't necessarily do that in public You don't see it now you go to Europe that shit happens everywhere It's not a big deal and I'm the oldest of four my mom You know she breastfed my siblings in front of me all the time wasn't a big deal But it happened here recently where this woman was sitting down and she picked up her baby to hold it And she just pulled it out and whip that city. Yeah, you're just not expecting it I immediately like turned around like I thought oh, you know very uncomfortable, but then it's like it's what you know It's normal you're feeding your baby who gives a shit. Yeah, it's totally normal like God bless you do your thing Yeah, so but just it's just you know this is there's a there's a what is that called double standard? Yeah, I mean. Oh, absolutely. You can't just pull my yeah, I can't I can't get this on Yeah, why can't we piss behind buildings anymore? I don't know man. I feel like sex crime now I feel like yeah, we got away with it for for quite a quite a long time there if you do it now, or maybe I did I don't know This is how fucked up our laws are if you do it now. You're gonna get on the list Yeah, definitely don't do it near school. That is it is kind of weird how they don't separate that on Megan's law Right, it's Megan's law, right? Oh, yeah, that's no down not all joking aside. No, that's true. Yeah, yeah Yeah, if you're hammered and you take a piss with your you know Oh, that's real stuff. Well caught it go you go on a sex offender list Well, and what's crazy if you ever go if you've ever been on Megan's law before because we used this we found this Interesting, I mean every night if you work at a gym actually just just checking. I'm just like oh All the time we used to pull up and see how many were around there's actually way more than you would think But what they don't do is they don't they don't tell you the offense So you don't know if it was some poor dude who actually made the mistake of peeing outside And it was half a mile from a park and so he's on there, you know, so or it was some real serious Yeah, they don't they don't like categorize no I would like to know if my neighbor is like just a drunk outside pier or he's really like chasing children Is it like that's a big deal do we actually know somebody that was on there? Yeah, that's what I was awkward. I was wait. I had it. Yeah, I had a trainer who worked for me and his dad was on there Okay, you're gonna go there. Well, I won't say no Jesus Christ, I've had hundreds hundreds of trainers work for me. So go ahead take a guess, okay But I I did and it was like I was like allure. No, I never yeah, this is the most I ever spoke about it so now millions know so Good luck trying to figure out who it was but he worked for me for years and we're Buddies and I don't even remember how it came up. In fact, I think actually I do know one of my trainers Was pointing out somebody who was walking the gym like hey, do you know that guy? It was you know gotten trouble for this and I was like no way. He's like yeah, yeah Get on Megan's law watch and we pulled him up Yeah, we were on there looking at that guy who had just came in and up pops my fucking trainers dad Yeah, wow and I'm like, oh shit and that was when I like started like diving in a trap You don't know what you didn't I think they tell you when the offense happened like I can't remember I remember was quite a while before that like maybe Five seven years or something with that, but you don't know like you don't know what the offense exactly is and I do know That you can get on there for some pretty, you know, mr. Meener type bullshit. Yeah, I think there was this one kid I read about I'm not a hundred percent accurate or sure on the details, but He him and his girlfriend were dating she was 16. He was 17. He turned 18 and I guess the parents of the girl didn't like him or whatever and went after him for statutory rate because she was under 18 And then he had to register So now it was something like that like it was a one or two year difference Which isn't that big when you're that young, you know, yeah, like she was 16 gonna turn 17 he had just turned 18 something like that and Because of the law now he's a sex offender because he slept with a minor, but they were like dating That's brutal fucked up. Yeah, that's that's fucked up, but for the most part It's a good thing. I mean, it's yeah, it's good to know. Yeah, where all the freaks are Where's the bird? Today's quads being brought to you by Chimera coffee is the only coffee that is infused with all natural Pics for a cleaner calmer and more focused buzz without the crash Put the Chimera link at mine pump media comm and input the discount code Mind pump a check out for ten percent off First up is big man James recommended exercises for the quadratus lumborum and I don't know how you say of course. That's why I call it QL You guys let me put the question in the lower back by the SI joint All lower back related so okay, so quadratus lumborum Otherwise referred to as the QL is a muscle that is involved with kind of side extension inflection It's it's attached to the back, but it's on the side There's two of them right on each sides of your body and they attach at the the top of your pelvis Yeah, and a lot of times people's low back pain can be rooted in this particular muscle Now they're talking about having pain in their lower back by their SI joint SI joints is sacroiliac joint So I want to explain to the people who don't know where this is if you go to your lower back at the bottom kind of Near towards the bottom part of your spine where it meets your pelvis right along the sides You'll feel two kind of nodules or two kind of you know, bony protrusions. Those both are where the SI joint are It's where the pelvis and the spine meet on either side and people will have oftentimes have Low back pain there and a lot of times you'll see imbalances on these these both sides in particular Believe it or not people who deadlift a lot with a mixed grip Can many times create an imbalance between Right and left because that slight, you know change a change of recruitment pattern That's gonna create that much of a difference on it'll it's a slight enough difference to where over time a perfect example was the the video I did of deadlifting just recently if you look real closely you see a slight asymmetrical shift and I felt it I could see it, you know, and it was but that's a I mean Because you'll favor especially one one grip versus the other and so yeah, I could see that happening There's other there's to me. There's there's a lot more factors that come into play though with that I think that's a that's a bold statement to say it's from that because well. Yeah, I mean you can come from a lot Yeah, there's a lot of things that could be well not addressing, you know issues that are Looming as far as like, okay, like I have I have to compensate Just by you know picking things up with lightweight like I if you don't notice The fact that you already have an asymmetrical shift to begin with when you squat or all these kinds of things like this Is where it really exaggerates it when you start doing deadlifts and well load, you know And also after spending as much time as we've spent with break now I'd I'd be willing to argue that a lot of stuff like this is actually stemming from the foot and the Working its way all the way up and it's now caused this Yeah, if you want if you if you took a video of yourself like squatting or deadlifting From the back you want to pay attention to your hips like the top of your hips and Really look closely if it if one is just slightly higher than the other then you have an imbalance and one muscle one side one Ql muscle or you know Multifidus muscle is slightly shortened on that one side and you've created a right to left and balance and that Will cause pain right and what will happen? What's the way you can kind of tell is if your low back pain is kind of on one side Like all my back my low back hurts and it's more on the left and on the right or more on the right on the left That's a it's a pretty good indication that it might be one of these muscles You know, that's causing this particular problem. So number one if you're deadlifting Make sure you and you use an alternate grip switch sides alternate on both grips or you learn how to use a hook grip Yeah, but one of the best exercises I have ever ever done that really does a great fucking job of Working the ql Unilaterally and helping it extending contract so working it in kind of this full range of motion during Rotation is the windmill. I can't think of a better exercise Yeah, then doing the windmill and if you do a windmill on one side and film yourself into the other and you notice a big difference Something you can work on this was highlighted when I I mentioned I had like injured it like Always back and just going through the whole rehab you heard it deadlifting. Mm-hmm. What happened exactly a shift in the weight and so Yeah, like my body tried to overcompensate and then I I'd felt like an immediate burn and like like searing pain So dropped it. But yeah, so just working my way back up That was the one move that took me forever to get reestablished No windmill and so it was just a very gradual progression and just like dr. Brink kind of talks about Going into that movement, so I didn't shy away from the movement, but I Definitely went very gradually into increasing my ability as far as range of motion and Reconnecting with that. So it took me. I mean months months to reestablish Range of motion again and not feel pain. So I didn't I didn't try and press through the pain I got to the pain backed off a little bit. So well something else. This could be too that we didn't address is it could be hyperlordosis, too Somebody like this and this is actually kind of cool because I'm gonna do some stuff I I have this so I have this which is like an excessive arch in your low back. So sticks your butt out Yeah, so and this is more common if very common with women. I have this condition myself We kept dominoes from it. My pelvis is tilted excessively and so you're already putting extra strain So I was actually gonna do like a little series of videos where I'm gonna start doing some Corrective type exercises and movements. I've already been doing little things To intrinsically work and balance this out And you know if if you have that and then you're trying to do all these other moves that the guys are talking about Right now this can be an issue like you need to address Getting yourself back into a more neutral position Before we're doing these road rotating. No, that's a great point and like yeah rotating I remember to even I just intuitively like like straight away a little bit from the rotation of it because I mean That puts a lot more additional stress that you don't really need You just need to kind of strengthen the recruitment pattern and even it out more so doing like the bridging and a Lot of stuff like that where you know, I can control it a bit more before really putting torsion on that So yeah, that's I mean that's important that you bring that up You can regress you can regress a windmill quite a bit like instead of doing a windmill with a kettlebell or dumbbell Or even with no weight an easy way to do this would just take a wide stance get a stick put a stick, you know kind of in front of you in between your legs and One hand supinated at the bottom one hand pronated at the top or at least facing neutral and slide that bottom hand down So then you're reaching up towards the top of the stick with one arm and touching or reaching down with the other arm So you're getting into that windmill position and and work with your range of motion if you're in pain Like Justin was saying you go to that edge and then come out of it Go to that edge and come out of it and then switch sides And that's a real nice guide that'll help you kind of get that that bend Rotation that I have found to be so beneficial for Quadratus lumborum as far as the multifidus is concerned. That's one of those deep erector spinae muscles and In my experience when people tend to injure and pull that muscle. It's because they're Hip flexor dominant and they're they're core muscles. They're deep core muscles are not activating So they got to learn how to disengage hip flexors and activate more of the core Abdominals yeah, we actually have a YouTube video on our YouTube channel mind pump TV And I think you can find it by just putting in hip flexor deactivator Mm-hmm, and there's an exercise that I demo That's really good because it it kind of it helps change the recruitment pattern so that the deep muscles your core Activate a little bit more effectively and kind of help with that hip flexor dominance So that you don't you don't place yourself in a position where you may injure your back or at least be higher risk of injuring your back then there's some stretches you could do like I could stand on a Block or something with one foot so one leg kind of hangs off keep both legs straight And then I let that leg that's off the block come down While reaching over my head in the opposite direction So I'm kind of stretching the side of my body if you will maybe do a video of this Maybe we can record a video later Doug. So yeah, it's good. It's hard to explain. That's a good very easy basic releasing QL stretch so next question live to train for ever how to manage to conflicting sports For example, I power lift and do taekwondo You know Similar this is a good question though. It's a very good question. I think you have to consider the following if you plan on Excelling at a competitive level in a particular sport You're gonna have to under you're gonna have to relegate yourself to the fact that you're not gonna be able to be really good at Other sports unless you're an anomaly. I mean some of them exist. Yeah, Jackson or jujimufu He's a perfect example of an anomaly. He's a perfect example of somebody who has this unbelievable unbelievably flexible dexterity Coordination and then he's got huge muscles like a bodybuilder that is so rare To find somebody who can live in both those worlds Somebody who normally is that big and muscular is definitely lost of a lot of their mobility and flexibility So well, you know, they're very conflicting. Yeah, but we even when we asked him He said how you know, he does what he calls tricking where he does is like flips and kicks and something He even said if we wanted to get much better at that. He was wait his way. It's already hindered it Yeah, I mean what I mean that he's proven you can do it so you can be somebody who you know does Taekwondo and is a powerlifter, but you know, there is gonna be a give and take That's exactly no matter what and I think Depending on your genetics would depend on Which is probably going to Hinder you more right so like maybe he's somebody who is pretty flexible and mobile and has in quick reaction So tight Taekwondo, he's gonna be pretty good at naturally Powerlifting he's weaker and so he's had to work on that more or vice versa Which one do you want to be better at right? Yeah, that's the question You have to ask yourself and then after you figure that out like I mean one's gonna take more precedence than the other Until then it's like, you know, you can kind of pull it off. I mean, it's You can get the great like CNS response from powerlifting I mean, that's great for like Recruitment and power but at the same time, you know, it's good like all those Movements eventually they're gonna restrict a lot of you know that that that flexible freedom that you're gonna have it working on If I was programming for someone like this, I would incorporate like our fortification session So what I would do is I would train like my powerlifting and then afterwards I would be doing like my Taekwondo side power lift first So that's gonna be the most demand on your central nervous system and strength and then post I would do things that would complement my Taekwondo So whether that be flexibility training or you know, whatever that or particular moves that I'm working on I would follow that up right after I'm done powerlifting. I would incorporate that in between Emphasis on mobility. I mean you just it's just to maintain That type of a movement that you need for Taekwondo because it's so I mean Taekwondo is extreme as far as like movement is concerned like a lot of people can't pick their leg up They can't you know, do these types of moves that I mean Head kicks and all these types of things like you can't get that kind of range of motion unless you are always working Yeah, in Taekwondo it it's very beneficial to be light Because of the the moves and the positions. It's very aerial. It's a very aerial martial art You want to be very nimble on your feet and powerlifting there are weight classes But you're just trying to lift as much weight as possible off the floor And so some size and muscles gonna benefit you. I'll tell you what I mean Your best bet really is if you don't care if you're not like hey I want to be excellent, you know and competitive at both and you just like I just enjoy doing both and just go ahead and do both And yeah, if you like one of them more than the other and that's the one you do more if you want to be competitive in One of them then that becomes the central focus of your routine and then utilize the other one in Beneficial ways or in ways that are gonna contribute. So like if I'm a Taekwondo if you decide hey I'm gonna do Taekwondo. That's what I want to compete in but I love powerlifting But really my focus is Taekwondo. Well now you can program your powerlifting to benefit your Taekwondo So you're not going in there to become like to be the best it in and out You phase it in a way to where you can use it to benefit your Taekwondo and then and then and then flip right if it's the way around and Powerlifting is like your number one focus You can take your Taekwondo mobility and agility and Program it will benefit you it'll benefit you if you program it in that particular way if both of them are important Then do both of them, you know, that's it reminds me of when I went through this transition of You know getting into bodybuilding From playing basketball. I mean I fucking love basketball play basketball We tell us 30 years old and didn't want to give it up because I enjoyed it so much But there became a time where and you know all the way through my 20s I played basketball and I lifted weights But then there came a time where it's like, okay, if I'm gonna be competitive at this bodybuilding thing Or I'm actually gonna build a physique to compete with the best This is really conflicting with what I'm trying to do It's just very very hard for me to manage the calories very very hard for me to train hard Then go play basketball like so what happened was basketball got kind of pushed to the waist side a little bit But I still incorporated it to like ramp up calorie expenditure or take some days off of lifting So I would interject some ball playing like that, you know, so for sure my ball playing I don't know how many times I've said that, you know, my ball got got hindered While while I was progressing in in bodybuilding so you most certainly can do both I think that's great advice with Sal said though as far as you know Deciding that one of them becomes a prize if you want to excel in it, right? If you just want to be pretty good at both You can definitely be pretty good at both with by having good balance of training in both Well, I tried when I played, you know, three sports basketball football baseball and Going from football to basketball was such a stark Contrast like it took me the entire season to finally get my shot back Because the training was so rigorous and You know, I was like literally building a shell to produce a certain type of Power and movement that I was seeking With football and so like for me now I have to go to more of a skill To where I'm running and I'm sprinting like constantly So even just the conditioning of it was a hard transition But then, you know, just that skill and that constant repetitive move movement that I needed To improve my shot like that takes a lot of time and patterns So just consider that like if you want to be really good at taekwondo, you need a lot of time and patterning To be awesome at that and then, you know, the more time you spend in powerlifting skin and diminish so Trev Goble, how do you handle clients with low motivation? It's a good question. It is and I used to have I used to struggle with this in the early years of my, you know Personal training because I was under the impression Like most trainers are when they first get started that my job is To get this person in shape whether they like it or not get your ass in here motivate you Make you become what you say you want to become And I'm the I'm the guy to do it So I'm gonna I'm gonna you know, I'm gonna motivate you you got to just do it It's you know, you got a grind show up. It's hard work. If you really want this. This is what you have to do And I didn't truly understand or appreciate the psyche of Normal people and what I mean by that is I'm a trainer. I am a fitness professional I love fitness and so for me It's like when someone says to me like I can't oh, it's so hard for me to get motivated to make it the gym Two or three days a week. It didn't fucking make sense to me It's like just do it just wake up in the morning and just fucking do it You got to make the time like there's no excuses and you hear that a lot You hear a lot of these rants of these trainers saying that to people like no excuses It's your fault get up off your eyes, but there's a completely different Psyche that's involved and it really hit me when I had a client who Just she was unmotivated she would come in she'd show up a little late You know, this was during my early years where I would train people hard because that's what I thought everybody needed and She'd miss a workout here and there and I one day I had a come to Jesus talk with her So I used to call these and I sat her down and I said look How bad do you want this because you told me you want to lose? I don't remember what it was 20 pounds or whatever and Now you're you're coming in you're half-assing it you're not pushing yourself You're not doing all the things that I'm telling you to do and I need to know if you're serious or not Because if you're not serious, then I don't want you to waste my time and she left she never came back and I ran into her a few years later and She didn't she was in worse shape than before And and exactly that was my thought like There's two things I could have thought I could have either seen her be out of shape and said Ah, see fucking lazy not gonna or I could have looked and said wow I really didn't help anything like there was no my if my if my if the outcome that I wanted was to get her to add fitness into her life and Change some things I failed miserably But at the time I thought I was being awesome right like you better, you know do this or not or I'm not gonna help you Yeah, and so I made them exactly and so I learned That you know if I have a client that shows up once a week and in that once a week we do a lot of hanging out and talking and I do some things that they enjoy and then sometimes I throw in things that I know that are really gonna benefit them But they've been coming for five years once a week whereas before they did nothing That's better than nothing. It's a lot better than nothing. I'm making a positive impact in that person's fitness And I'm creating I'm helping them create a relationship with exercise to where it's not this dreadful horrible shitty thing that they have to do so yeah, that's totally what you create exactly when you come in and you're just a hard-ass about like these These arbitrary numbers and all these things like you have to make it at least three times a week or You're sucking at life. You know, it's like what what is that? What good does that do somebody who's not even there once and so I realize like part of my job is to create a situation and environment and a relationship with this person to where They love to show up Okay, that they enjoy so much Showing up that that'll override their previous notions of hating exercise And eventually that'll create a good relationship with exercise when I made that final transition, which was probably a Few years into my personal training. It took me a while to figure this out my member and client retention rate skyrocketed and My ability to impact their long-term success to where even if I didn't work with them I found them continue it, you know, they continued on with fitness skyrocketed now I became Extremely effective with with my clients because they'd show up like I would have clients show up Especially in the beginning when you first start training someone who fucking hates exercise and just hit, you know They just have a negative You know relationship with exercise and just can't stand the whole thing. They have a negative body image You know bad body image issues with themselves I'd have sometimes I'd have clients come in and I could just see it on their face They don't want to be there had a tough day at work and I'll ask them I'll say how you feeling today like I feel crappy. I really don't want to be here I'll say you know what you want to just go for a walk outside. Let's just go for a walk outside and talk a little bit and They One of two things would happen either a they'd be like well am I gonna be wasting my time and say no we're moving and If you feel like halfway through our walk like you're feeling better then we'll do some exercises, but you're still here you're still moving and that's the first step and Or number two, they're super right off the bat like wow I can do that. That's great And people stop canceling people started becoming more motivated to show up It was this phenomenal thing so that for me was one of the most effective things I ever did Well, I think too With this question, you know, how do you handle clients with low motivation? Well, the first thing is like you really have to have a deeper conversation with them And you need to you need to dig a little bit deeper and find out, you know, what's going on at home You know, what's going on at work like like what what are the barriers that are sort of like that? They're already putting in place of like why the gym is this like You know enemy to them or like why you know, this feels like like something that like they're not like fully bought into the concept of it yet or just you know really just like ask them more questions and then You know see see what things that like they they respond to the best like my I'm always just constantly trying to read them their body language Where I see sparks and where I don't see sparks And so I'm trying to play and move off of all those kind of cues and just get more in tune with that Well, I really like this question because this this reminds me a lot of like Leadership and the same type of rules that I would apply with my staff and this took me Something Sal says a couple years took me quite a while in my career before I really put this together and And I'd noticed it not only in my my clients, but even my staff and in in that leadership role because motivating people to do something that you ultimately want them to do can be challenging and One of the things that you know when you were when I'd be leading a staff that you know I talked about this before in the podcast about finding out what people are good at and making them great and That was some of the single best advice for business and when I realized that there were a lot of parallels with that with Training clients like it was like this light bulb went off. I was like, oh shit. Okay. Well, I forgot that You know for a trainer for people that are into health and fitness like we love this shit Like we love learning and get in like being not so good at it and getting better and that we're already intrinsically motivated and You know, that's not your client very few clients come in like that where they're like super motivated and a big part of your job Is to motivate them and so one of the things I think about is like, okay Well, what is it like for me when I'm learning a sport or learning something? Maybe I'm not as excited about and I'll use golf as an example because I didn't want to fucking learn how to golf I was golfing because my best friends did it and I remember like trying to learn how to golf and listening to them teach me I was so fucking frustrated because of all the information that they were giving me and telling me to do and I was just like And then I feel like I'd figure one thing out and then regress and think like your clients are the same way too Like you're you're feeding them all this nutrition information all these all this muscle information all this workout information All this cardio information all this supplement information, you know And then you're on top of that trying to hold them accountable to do all this stuff and change habits that they've been doing in their lives for 40 years That's a lot of fucking information. Yeah for them to absorb and then to be motivated to do it So something that helped me was to really regress all of that and and to find little wins find little things that I could focus on because Just like I'm sure anybody in here has ever ever dealt with is like when you start to like Win at something or do well at it that in itself is very motivating and sometimes as trainers We we take for granted some of the most simplest things that we do out of habit or that we found really easy for us to pick up And we just expect that of our clients and in reality a client just making the habits of getting up and fucking walking every day For an hour is a huge feat for them, you know, like they were they just before they hired you They were walking, you know, maybe a total of 4,000 steps in the day and Now all of a sudden you're telling me to do all this training You want them to diet all perfectly you want them to do all this shit and they can't that's a lot And and then they keep failing and then they get demotivated. So I and this is why when I first take somebody on I don't give them instruction at first. All I want to do is I want to assess and I want to see what they do I want to see how much they move. I want to see how they eat I want to see how many times they would get to the gym if they would even get to the gym without me telling them to get to The gym and then from there, I'm gonna make these little micro adjustments so they can win So they can come back to me at the end of the week and be like, hey, guess what Adam? I went for a walk for 30 minutes and I made sure to do those three stretches that you taught me and this and that I'm like fuck. Yeah, great job, you know, so they you start give you start adding up these wins and you start Increasing increasing what you're challenging them by small increments and you'll see that you'll get much further with your clients Then laying out all the plans in front of them It's like when I my buddies were teaching me golf and it was like your hips your wrist your head your your arms your forearms The way you follow through your eyes. It's just like, holy fuck. This is just one step at a time We're so much for me to absorb and and some clients they'll get it, right? You'll give them nutrition you'll give them the exercise you'll give them all stuff and they'll go do it But that's not most clients most clients are gonna fight you are gonna whine are gonna complain are gonna struggle are not gonna be Motivated and so you got to find these little victories for them And the only way that you can do that is to really assess and figure out where they were or where they're currently at before they hired you and then when you give them stuff you give them small Achievable goals to help build some momentum for this isn't it interesting to how like the wording changes too. So like I used to Break somebody down like with their assessment and then like afterwards We kind of talk about it and then I would always highlight the negative like what they were incapable of and Then I caught myself, you know one day. I'm just like, yeah, you know that that's valuable information But I mean that's who who benefits from that more, you know me me me coaching them And and like learning that about that person whereas they learn it But they learned that there's an answer to it, you know, and like I'm highlighting the fact of the positive elements of like How their body will feel? How all these things are gonna line up, you know, how this is gonna build strength overall like, you know More of those points versus like, you know, you can't do this, you know, you suck at this You know, I'm gonna help you and fix you. Yeah Person's gonna show up the average client is gonna hire you and show up to the gym And they're gonna hate they're hate. They already hate exercise. They already started that way like I don't like this I don't know how to do this. That's why I'm hiring someone. I can't be motivated to do this on my own That's why I'm hiring someone. These are by the way the top things that someone will will say if you ask them Why'd you hire a trainer? These are the top things won't do it on my own. I don't know what I'm doing. I hate exercise I don't enjoy it So you gotta ask you ask them. Why don't they like the exercise number one probably didn't work for them It's hard work It's not enjoyable they show up. It's painful. It sucks. It's something. They're not good at so you get your job Then is to make it enjoyable make it something that they enjoy doing make it You know make them realize when they show up they say to themselves like oh, I could do this Mm-hmm, and they can do this But but they can't do it if the first fucking, you know workouts are Like if you're throwing everything in the kitchen seat get them All you're gonna do is reinforce to them that this sucks and I can't do this This is something I can't do you got to go like Adam was saying one small step at a time But you know, I have a client who now has been consistent. I don't I haven't worked with her For a year now right since I since we left our previous jobs But when she came to hire me first off I was a last resort she had done everything everything else she had pain and The reason why she came to hire me is because she hurt her chiropractor referred her to me But she came to me and she literally said to me I'm only gonna meet with you once a week, and I don't want to do this. Those are exact words I don't want to do this. This is my last resort, and I'm not coming more than once a week And so I said no problem. We'll work with we'll work with once a week party. I don't need more than once a week and Right for right now because you're doing nothing once a week is more than that once I explain that to her She was like okay that sounds good because I could have said oh well once a week's nothing You might as well not do anything which which is what the previous yeah physical therapists and trainers have told her which totally Crapped her out, and I said no once week's fine. That's better than it's more than zero times a week And there's a lot we can do with that because you're in a very decondition state. Mm-hmm number two when she'd show up I made sure that she enjoyed it and one of the things that she this is just this was her personally She liked to have good conversation. So we'd have really good stimulating conversation and After about five months of being consistent, you know, she told me she says you know what's how she goes I still don't like exercise She was but I show up here because I like to hang out with you and I knew I knew it was a matter of time It's a matter of fucking time before she enjoys exercise because that Connection is naturally made she's showing up hanging out with me and joys hanging out with me She just as a side effect is exercising because that's what I'm doing with her Before she's gonna realize it those two connections are gonna happen and sure enough they did Now her pain started getting better. She could move more and I didn't say shit I didn't tell her you need to come in more than once a week. I left it once a week We'll do this forever if that's all you ever want to do she came to me It was about six or seven months later Hey, do you think do you think if I worked out an extra day a week that I would progress a little faster? I said well, absolutely. I said I know you you initially said you only wanted to come once a week But definitely you definitely Accelerate your progress. You've already been with me for six months once a week. Your body's ready for an extra day a week why don't we try it out and just add an extra day here and there and see if you like it and She became very consistent. Can she enjoyed it now? She's connecting her progress how she's feeling to the fact that she likes coming to the gym And we did this over the course of a couple years. She started exercising on her own This is a woman that never in a million fucking years would do any form of exercise on her own ever She couldn't stand it now. She's asking me for exercise to do on her own. She's doing stretches on her own She's working with nutrition, which she told me in the very beginning was off limits I'm not I'm not doing nutrition don't even bother talking with me about it now. She's doing nutrition now She's noticing the benefits of that Fast forward. I don't know two and a half years later. I sell that facility, right? We're doing mine pump full time so now I'm I'm I'm referring her to another very very good trainer and She's still consistent. She's still doing this. She's still working on her own This is like, you know three years later and this is a woman again who was very open like I ain't doing this and I Can't stand this that's a huge victory had I tackled that with my previous Methods of look that's a waste of time. You got to commit yourself. You got to come in you got to work out That's what this is all about. Don't waste your time. She would have never done it It would have never worked. She'd be in much worse Worse shape in terms of her pain and you know, you know her fitness it would have been a huge loss So this is actually one of my favorite parts about being a trainer. I love this challenge I find this is also what got me into Leadership roles is just I loved Figuring out the little things that make everybody tick because everyone is so unique, you know, there is no like One exact answer for this person like how do you motivate an unmotivated person? Well, fuck everybody is motivated different I know for sure in general One of the biggest mistakes I made as a trainer was giving too much too fast to somebody Assuming that everybody could handle all that at once, you know, because it didn't seem like a lot to me But it is it's a lot for some people like Sal saying like, you know some people one workout a week is like this this whole new thing and honestly like That that's your job man This is your job as a trainer if everybody came in motivated and easy and we all talked as trainer like oh, yeah I love training athletes, you know nothing like training somebody who shows up like I got a fucking goal in six months I gotta be easy. Yeah, I mean those those people are like tell me what to do Okay, I'm gonna do it in fact the thing that you got to do with those people's actually rain them back in right because they're More than likely gonna overdo things and you're more worried about them overtraining or overdoing it So you're constantly raining back. They're annoying. Yeah, right. So that's a that's an easy client to train But in reality most people are busy high stress family kids overweight emotional issues you know all kinds of stuff going on inside them and You know, I I really enjoyed this process of trying to learn like how do I become this great coach that could get this person? Who's got all these issues going on to win? How do that? How would I get them to win? And you know starting with small incremental goals that you give them and you know and celebrating those celebrating those small victories and Getting them motivated. I mean I really I take that on as a challenge I used to love get I mean my when it before I was in leadership and I was just a trainer My bosses always gave me the hardest client like if someone signed up and they were the pain in the ass client that Complained or had all you know There's always that person who signs up and they have like all these I don't want to do this I won't do this. I don't know and I want it and I want that allergic to late Also, I get I'd get a call over the loudspeaker Adam to the front desk Please Adam to the loud of Adam to the front desk, please and then I come up and be like hey We got this client for you. She don't want to do this. She doesn't like this You know, I'm like, oh awesome, you know, but I like that I like that challenge of this isn't gonna be easy I'm gonna have to figure out how to get this person going and what makes them tick and you know You just got it you got to take it on as a trainer as a challenge instead of writing them off like oh, they're a bad client Oh, they're never gonna see results. No, just because they're not motivated like you're motivated It's not it's not that at all. It's just that you got to figure it out to to try and that's the fun part is Taking somebody who probably thought they would never be someone who loved to work out and like doing this shit and Six months after being with you they now have found a new love and passion for health and fitness And it's our jobs as fitness leaders to to be able to do it Which is also why mine pump is so hard on the fitness community in the fitness industry because there's a lot of bad motherfuckers out There's a lot of bad people out there that are giving bad Information that they think they're inspiring because they do all these cool photos of their shirts off and you know Beast mode this and talk of all about this and hype all this. It's like no like that ain't real That ain't real people real people don't see that get motivated workout change their life Now get the fuck out of here, you know real people are dealing with all kinds of real stress Is real shit going on are not motivated to go to the gym They're paying you because they can't do it themselves and because a video online doesn't hype them up enough to get on there And get to the gym. So that's your job as a trainer is to figure that shit out Healthy happy and free. What are your worst habits and how do you tackle them? Yeah? That's a good one. God Tell you what So I used to have I don't know if you call it a habit But I mean I guess you could I am Notoriously, I don't know call me ADD or You know, I'm I hyper focus on what's in front of me and everything else I forget But this was a big problem for me when I first got into management In in fitness, you know, I became a manager at a very young age. I was 19 Or had just turned 20 I think when I managed my first gym and the reason why I was promoted so early was because I was a Big top producer but there's a big difference between being a top producer And then having to manage a a massive staff and I could have just been the top producer My clubs would have always done well, but it would have been A lot of it on my shoulders Which uh, initially was was how you know it worked But you know, once you got to bigger and bigger and more difficult situations, you know I quickly realized like I need to be be able to really develop a team around me and That required me to have You know a higher level of organizational skills at least or you know being able to think An act You know more than just what's in front of me instead of putting out fires, you know all the time I had to kind of prevent them And so the way I tackled this was because I was notorious, right I'd get some paperwork or or I'd get instruction from my district manager Sal I need these statistics or whatever. Okay. No problem. Those will happen They'll never happen because I'm focused on what's happening in front of me that, you know Particular paperwork or whatever gets buried and I just didn't do it and I got away with it because I would produce But like I said, I got in these bigger clubs and I had to figure it out And so Someone taught me one of my my early mentors taught me The second it touches your hands take care of it as soon as you get it do it that second because that's how you operate And so rather than trying to change How I operated, you know really change fundamentally how my brain worked Which is a big that's a very tough thing to tackle like I have to completely change how I operate What I did was I just used that That way I operated and just kind of managed around it or at least used it to my advantage so The second someone handed something to me sal we need these statistics. Boom. I do them that second Sal you need to call this member because boom. I do it this second And when I started doing this, I never had a backlog I became far more organized because I was able to handle shit right that second and I extended this to Other parts of my life because this particular bad habit It showed up another way is like I would lose shit all the time like I put my keys down where the fuck are my keys? I don't know where they are anymore. I lose my wallet. Oh god Where is it and take me 30 minutes to find it and it was very frustrating I want to kill everybody around me and so I started to Tell myself that there's a special place that I put my shit down There's only one place I put my stuff. I still do that to this day You guys will notice in the studio when we record My bag is in the same fucking place every single time The reason why I do that is I developed that that strategy because I lose shit So I always have a designated place where my keys my wallet my shit goes That's where it always goes and that's where it's always going to be so that's that's how I tackled One of the worst habits that I that I've had And you know my entire life that just plagued me Wow This is a little Self-reflection for us here, huh? Yeah Let's see here. My worst habits Being present sharing my feelings and die coke Those are my three so wrapping them off. I gotta yeah being present your feelings. Yep being present. Oh, you don't show your feeling Yeah, okay being present. I don't I'm not present a lot sharing my bad thing sharing my feelings And yeah, and then the diet coke so Being present is is a tough one for me. I'm definitely a a cerebral person I'm a major thinker. I can't send I can't tend to I can't seem to like can't even fucking talk because I'm my head Somewhere else right now. I can't seem to focus on one thing at a time. I'm always If I'm doing something and I'm also thinking about something else that needs to get done So that's a major issue that I have and it's uh, it hinders a lot of stuff projects that I need to complete or get done so um, and part of what I've done to tackle that is you know, kind of where I'm at currently right now with You know meditation and breathing techniques and Shutting off my electronics by seven o'clock. So these are all habits that I'm trying to create for myself That are is definitely helping. I mean, I've seen a lot of progress in the last few months that I've been implementing those things And uh, it does take Practice for me though. I really have to you know, try and focus on uh being mindful and being present to what's going on right now So that is something do you organize it? What do you mean? Like do you say to yourself like, okay? This is something new for me Being present. Do you say okay at night? This is my routine to be present or like are you scheduling it to try and get it into Well, I'm scheduling it like this seven o'clock thing. So I've verbalized it so like Katrina knows this So like let's say I come home like like this happened last night And uh, I got home from work to come home and work some more and it was like 6 30 And she's like, you know, well, what are you gonna do? I'm gonna go to my mom's or I'm gonna shower You know, what's your plan tonight? Like are you gonna work all night? I'm like, no I got 30 minutes 30 more minutes and then I disconnect like I promise that sometimes I'm trying to disconnect earlier But at seven I will actually take my phone go upstairs Set my alarm for the morning for my next the morning You know alarm plug it in and then I'm away from it. I'm done. I'm done. No more responses to texts No more getting online seeing where the business is at none of that bullshit. So I'm done So that's what I've done for You know my home life and and becoming more present and my relationship and things like that And which is kind of neat because that also carries over into the sharing my feelings thing So I'm really bad at that. I'm really I'm like the guy who doesn't like writing cards and And doing shit like that. So and that's taken practice for me like I have to And I and I think this is okay. I have an awesome partner who You know, we have great communication. I've been she knows that I fucking suck at this So she totally appreciates when I do these things because she knows that it wasn't like natural for me You know, I'm gonna be honest. It's a shocking one to me that you said that Sharing your feelings that I wouldn't to guess that Because I'm because I'm a communicator and I'm open Well, because I've seen you I've seen you share your feelings. You've said things, you know And it must be certain situations where you feel like you you More so with like women right and in family family and women Like, you know, like my my my love like I'll share like this like be like I have no problem with humbling myself and humanizing myself and making fun of myself And being open and sharing like that But sharing my feelings of of love and and compassion and like my my family and my relationship with Katrina This is just something that Love was shared with me differently as a child. And so I've been trained up a certain way, which is also why anybody who's known me for a long time that The best way or the habit that I've created for a long time is Financially, I mean and you guys have experienced this already, you know, the time that we've been together You know, I'm the one who randomly buys things for each for us and does stuff like that With with money that's my way of showing you that I love you, right? That's but instead of expressing it, which would be a lot cheaper and smarter, right? So I'm trying to maybe we don't fix that Can use some diamonds, you know, when you're in a when you're in a relationship These are things that you uh, you have to be aware of and you have to to learn to do that Otherwise, you're gonna have a miserable partner I happen to have a partner that understands this and knows my my upbringing is patient with me and and And it goes a long ways when I do those little things So a lot of that's just out of habit I actually I know when the last time that I bought a card and flowers and I brought it to her And I had to for quite some time there like make it like a scheduled thing like you're saying like it's like, okay Hey, don't ever let you know two months go by where you haven't bought flowers or got a card And so, you know, when I first started it was like I had to put reminders to do that Where now it's just a hat like now I've created a good habit now I know like so long has gone by I haven't done something like that Make sure I swing by pick up flowers grab a card Sit down write something, you know what I'm saying and just and once I do it, I'm okay Like once I start writing it's not like I'm like writer's block. Oh my god I don't know what to say like it's just that act like I just it's not a natural thing for me to like do these type of things so Um the the the scheduling or the reminders this really this reminds me too even like I I brought up One of the best things I ever did with my staff which was Setting these alarms to go and praise them like I had to do that Like I needed the reminder to create that habit now once I done that for a long enough time That became part of my leadership like I just do that now now if you ever work for me I know how powerful that is because I've seen the benefits from it I know that man when I walk over and I touch someone on the shoulder and I tell them You know, what a great job they're doing. It's fucking unreal The what that does for loyalty with your your staff. Well, you know different with your partner, right? So these this is something that I'm consistently working on I'm far from good at it But I I'm definitely recognize it and I'm those are the habits that I'm trying to create to to better that And then the Diet Coke thing is Jesus, you know, that's just an addiction problem. That's just flat out You know when I competed Diet Cokes were something that I used as my Uh, like my sweet tooth because I was eating such a fucking plain plain diet for so long that like a Diet Coke Seemed like I was having the biggest treat in the world And so because I would allow that in through the first six out of the eight to ten weeks that I'd be cutting for a show Because I cut it out eventually but it would be a part of it. Um, you know, my body craves it And so now like I switched over to the green coax a long time ago where I'm getting at least cane sugar and stevia Instead of all that fucking aspartame But still it's not something that it's fucking worthless calories to me and I know that my body's addicted to it So like, you know, what I do to handle that like Katrina and I will buy like we'll buy a six pack, you know And that's gotta last me, you know, I won't go out of my way to go buy it somewhere else or go get it It's like, you know, I'll let myself have it and then eventually what I do is if I know that it's been like You know four or five times that we've grocery shopped in a row where I've been allowing that Then I go it's all tea from here. Okay. I'm switching over to tea and I'm going to get that out of my system completely One thing I've always been really good about is recognizing if I have Some sort of an addiction or a habit that's not good for me that I've created I I do a pretty good job of not letting it take control of my life And that's probably because I've been around a lot of addiction I've dealt with a lot of clients that have addiction So I right away notice it in myself if I see myself heading down that path And then I also don't try and freak out and demonize it and make it a big ordeal It's just that hey, this is not the most ideal thing. It could be putting in my body It's worthless calories. You know, uh, I just got on the kick with the ronja patrick shakes where I was making those That was a great replacement to that So it gave me something else to be drinking and focusing on then Drinking the diet coke. So these are the three main ones that I can think of Yeah, that better been enough time for you to come up with some. No, I've had I've had it here for a while Then I lost it Then it came back and then I lost it. Now. I got it. No, it's um Procrastination is one of them. Okay. This is one that's sort of Been part of the way that I get through any sort of deadline any sort of school Project any project in general like it I tend to wait till it gets super intense and then to tackle it So, uh, you know, that's one of them Procrastination the other one like it's very similar to like a lot of what you guys bring up I think that's why we're all kind of alike like being present and You know being of more mentally available, you know at home or for my friends or for my family or whatever anything besides work Like I tend to have to actually consciously Switch gears and then and then live in that gear for that moment and And then the other one was just like caring about things I need to care about that a lot of times I don't and what I mean about that is like Basically, like there's there's things like I know that I could be doing like whether it's at home or You know with my body or or, you know, if I'm eating a certain way or just like You know, like a lot lots of things that like are keeping up keeping my car and you know And like handling all these these like very uh task oriented Types of things I know I should be tackling every single day and just notching off my list and just being really organized and I've I've I've learned and I don't know if this is just you know, my I've adapted to this to where There's a certain totem pole of things that you know are on my priority list for the day And you know, and then I just I tend to stay within like three things and I smash those things And the everything else underneath that just just gets washed away. Like I just I can't seem to like Take on more of those those items to to keep everything else in balance and in check. So Uh, one thing that I've done is is to sort of reorganize the structure of that And I've realized that like wow, I am just so consumed with these two three things in my day And that is all I've thought about all day And so I've I've started to sort of mentally check myself and then Um, kind of go down the list and I've even written it down sometimes and that's helped as far as like things that I should be Concerned about and things that like I can like visually look at it or just mentally think about Um, you know, have I have I done something for my wife? You know and helped her out in some way like right as I step in the door and not been like Oh my god, I'm so tired and then sit down. So I was like, I'm not sitting down when I get home That's that's the first thing. Yeah, I you know, I there's a saying what you resist persists And uh, it's funny like, you know, like Adam, you said, you know, I don't make a big deal about it And I don't say oh god, I need to cut this out Like I just may I acknowledge it and I slowly, you know reduce or whatever It's it's very very true like that like, you know, because I tend to procrastinate too And there's definite things that I don't I just put off because I I fucking hate them and that's that's the mentality that I get Like I hate it. I hate it so bad. And so I end up resisting it More which only makes it persist. It only makes it a bigger deal When I can just kind of be like, well, I don't like to do it and you don't have to do it all at once Yeah, I had to teach and so having kids like that really like I mean that cut out like a huge amount of like Uh, like any selfish time where I was like I was just lazy to where I would like I'm gonna get to it in this sort of time period of my day. Well, now I don't have that time period of my day I have to really like step up my game. And so I started just Okay, I'm looking at this itemizing it one thing very much one thing at a time And I'm notching something off if I accomplished one little thing of that I feel like You know that that that's way more successful for me because then it'll snowball and then one day I may have a lot of time, but I've already put in, you know steps Leading up to that where it goes a lot faster. This I also think that like Yeah, and talk about what people This is kind of my definition too of of what like love is like when you find a partner That you know really complements These areas that you you struggle in that you are weak at and then and they enhance it They don't make you feel worse because of it. They don't you know constantly bash you because all of it It's they learn to help you grow in this area or develop good habits Or they carry some of the load an example that just literally this valentine's day You know one of being present being mindful. We've been so caught up in mine pump I have two of my best friends moms that literally were played an intricate role of raising me along with my own mother Because I spent a lot of time at their houses and holidays for them And you know, I've been so busy and disconnected that I haven't I haven't had a chance to go see them and visit them And you know, she makes an effort to and she knows how important they are to me And they know I know that when I get pressure from them because I haven't been seeing them or doing that It affects me it affects my mood and instead of like bashing me because I'm I'm failing there Or that's a struggle for me right now She picks up the load and you know, she gets online and she has You know flowers and strawberries and chocolates and stuff like shipped to everybody and you know sits down while I'm in the middle of doing something else and say hey We got to write a card real quick for so-and-so's mom you got to write a car for so-and-so's mom quick And does that for me and like then the response that I got was just amazing And it was like I wouldn't been able to do that without that partner and I feel like These are the things that as you get older you start to to realize like that's important Like this is what's important because this is this is who I am I know the 35 years old although we all continue to evolve and grow and change Not much of me is going to change those will be forever probably my weak points I've already created that as a person that I'm not going to all of a sudden be this like super organized Can I get better? Can I do better about yeah? Absolutely, but I am who I am and finding somebody who complements Those areas I think is just man talk about that helps me a lot I feel like I wouldn't be who I am right now if it wasn't for my partner I mean she does so much for me to Accomplish what I accomplished so I find that if you're in a relationship that isn't taking you somewhere reminds me that quote that I put up a long time ago Uh, I'll try and find it. Maybe I'll repost that it's been a long time About relationships and if it's not taking you anywhere It's a time to abandon ship because you know you want a partner that's that's helping you in in in these areas that Recognizes that and doesn't make you feel worse for it, but makes you makes you better So I think that's an important thing to note too. That was very touching. Thank you Listen if you like mine pump leave us a five star rating review on itunes If we like your review and we pick it you'll get a free mind pump t-shirt also Go on instagram right now Find us at mine pump radio. Don't forget you can ask us questions there on our q&a sections and we'll answer them on these episodes Also youtube mind pump tv. We're going to post some videos in fact I think we should film Some uh, some of those exercises we talked about today in regards to the uh quadrasslin borum Yeah So you can go to youtube look up mind pump tv and you'll see all of our all of our videos We post one video a day up on there So it's always gotten new content one of the best channels you can subscribe to Uh, and that's pretty much it. Thanks for listening. 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