 Your coca-cola bottler presents Claudia based on the famous play and novels by Rose Franken Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself. Have a coke and now Claudia Hooray you come Roger. Are we late right on time? Come in. Come on. It's so good to see you Roger. Happy New Year's Eve Thank you. Thank you. There's nobody I'd rather spend New Year's Eve with than you Claudia and David and our good friend here Mr. Tucker coming in coming in you needn't corral-ush like hurtin cows You know, I don't think I've ever been in your apartment Roger. Oh, it's the usual sort of apartment hotel in New York City Very depressing and take off your coats. We'll just catch our breasts for a few moments and make our plans sit down Oh, this is exciting is wonderful I don't think I've ever really had a New Year's in New York New Year's Eve before you don't say no Well first I was alone with mama We certainly wouldn't have gone out New Year's Eve together and then all of a sudden I was married to David last year We didn't either didn't what we didn't celebrate was just enough just being married that in itself would be caused to celebrate What's the matter mr. Tucker? You're so silent ain't had nothing to say Shawn. Well, that's a new one I've kind of been chewing and swarming and digesting. Is this here where you live mr. Killian anything wrong? Pardon my saying so but this ain't no fit way for a decent man to live I'll pardon your saying so if you tell me what's the matter with it, mr. Tucker seems pretty obvious to me He ain't got no grounds But that silly little window box setting in the window And you ain't got nothing to look at but them Picky you need paintings on the wall that one happens to be a valuable Picasso To hear what a rod you say. Well, you know I've thought of all this myself often Well, no wonder you got aches and pains in what you have no argument mr. Tucker's wanted to me your life at all It's more of a wonder to me why I don't do something about him I had to go around every day wearing clothes like these what's hitched on my back tonight I ain't sure but what I'd have room attention myself I was just going to say you look very handsome mr. Tucker. Oh, sure. I'm looking handsome, but I'm a hansher man I am yes, you that don't mean I'm comfortable though tight squeaking shoes stiff collar coat and vest and tie heck Man might as well be in his funeral suit dressed up like this when when when Delilah saw me she dangling jumped out of her petticoat Didn't your sister think you were handsome too? Handsome. She downright turned green with jealousy So she saw fit to lecture me as to why I couldn't look like this every day. That's a woman for you. Yep. That's them Well, let's begin the shenanigans. Come on. It's still early early. What it's uh, it's past 10 o'clock Well, that's early for new year's eve. That ain't the silliest thing Why my hog's been sound asleep for pretty near two hours now. You can't tell me it's early new year's eve Unfortunately is not measured by your hog's bedtime, mr. Tucker Well, just because new year's eve don't know better don't mean jerry tucker. Don't either my heels are kicking to get going Nobody's setting around in plavering. Come on. Let's go. Well, it looks as if we'd better get going on our nocturnal rounds First, where are we going? I made reservation at 38 club 38 club. Where's that? 38 east 38th street, of course 38 club. What's the matter the run out of name? Think so, and I'm going to no second string places when they call it by the street, mr. Tucker You can be sure it's very swanky. Well, then let's be on our way. My shoes are starting to pick. I'm ready I'll just go inside and get my hat and coat. Oh, would you like to see the other rooms, mr. Tucker? I wouldn't mind if I do. No matter what it is, even four rooms atop of one of these here's skyscrapers There ain't no place like home, isn't there? There ain't David, what a wonderful pair. Roger and jerry tucker It just proves that oil and water do mix. Telling us you're dying to see mr. Tucker in a nightclub. I can't wait If I just died to see mr. Tucker in a nightclub, I just can't wait It ought to be amusing, isn't it? Sir, you're expressing yourself conservatively tonight One of us has to keep his head Seriously though, David, aren't you aren't you really glad Roger asked us to bring him along? Seriously, Claudia, I am Oh, you idiot It'll be a new year's eve. The old man will never forget. Me neither. I can tell. Oh, you can David, you please start making me giggle. My nose powdered so pretty. What on earth has that got to do with anything? It's nothing Here we are. Oh those two always giggling. Come on young ones pull yourselves together Because I aim to take this town wrap it around my finger and sling it to the vouchers where it belongs Let me get my teeth into that 38 Well, what do you think of it mr. Tucker? So this is it son. This is the club 38 new york new year's eve It's the best we have to offer. Yep Everybody's so excited. Yep. Everybody sure is. It certainly is noisy And mr. Tucker, you haven't said anything much. I mean for you Don't you like it? Yep. I I like it Yep, he is I haven't been in a nightclub like this in years As a matter of fact, I don't think I was in one like this years before either. How about some champagne? It's on me. Not at all I've ordered it already now We really are doing this up brand mr. Tucker. You like champagne? Yeah. Yeah, I like it Hey, look at the paper hats on the table. David put one on what more just to be silly Oh I don't think that our friend mr. Tucker's enjoying himself He set up like a glam the minute we stepped into this place I'd love to know what's going on behind those beetle brows of his. What are you two boys whispering about? Can't a man have a secret with his partner? No man cannot he has to share it with his partner's wife? Don't you think so mr. Tucker? Yep Well, I'll be Okay, what will you be danged about if this ain't a spectacle. Don't you like it here mr. Tucker? Well, it ain't a matter of liking it ma'am. It's a matter of believing first Look at all them females strutting around with their shoulders. So it's mid-winter They ain't got better sense and to walk around looking as if there was about to step into a shower bath They do look sort of chilly, don't they? Chilly ma'am if it was me my goose pimples would be sticking out like a range of the rocky mountains All them dangles and fandangles jingling all over them Strutting around more proud than a cackling hand being sold at the danbury fair Well, I'll be gone Dang certainly make the female race sound like a trooper fools. What else? Oh, come on now, mr. Tucker, certainly you find them more interesting than that with your taste for female beauty I should I should think you'd be quite intrigued so on if I was only 10 years younger There wouldn't be one of them females dancing by without winking at me and dropping their hand You bit my feet and would you bother picking it up? Pick it up your darn toot not pick it up Just to tickle their noses with it though And sure is a loony bunch more shouting gone on at a hot corn contest Oh, there's our champagne looks like we ginger ale to me I agree the mr. Tucker, but don't tell anybody it's not fashionable not to like champagne Who gives a hoot watch fashionable still i'll give it a try not that I ain't had it before mind you know Oh, of course not one of my nephews got married They insisted on being snooty and stirred champagne when he was deader than a macro laying on a beach eight days All right. Well, here we are then all poured Toast David. Mr. Tucker, you're the sage around here. You make the time I ain't got no toast to make save the peace to our health to our happiness to a warm winter and cool summer Rich harvest into our long life even mine. I'll drink to that. I'll join you Oh, this is champagne. This is what all the fussing shootings about a I'll take fresh glass cow's milk anything. Don't tell anybody mr. Tucker, but I'm with you too. I'm that Twix us ma'am this stuff ain't no more than highfalutin gargoyle You address me young filly I sure am addressing you grandpa. Well for this you better not address me grandpa. They fit Now listen to you if you ain't a car now listen lassie I got a good 20 years of rootin tootin shooting for our submit to being called grandpa. Well, I do this land Ask ask any one of my friends around here and they'll tell you it ain't fitting to call me grandpa That's it that dare geezer with the mustache and slack hair setting on your left He ain't got one tenth of pep in him. Jared Tucker's gotten his big toe And I suppose now you're gonna weave me some of those tall stores About how you build these craft scrapers with your own bag. Hey, well if I don't mind too, of course And I suppose you're going to tell me too that you own an empire diamonds, and you're the sable king of this city Senorita sables and diamonds ain't half of my wealth Lord of me now don't tell me that you're a movie star Princess if I the will to have been a movie star of what's that fellow's name Lionel Lionel Lionel, uh, uh, well Lionel something or other. He'd be milking cows instead of me So that's what you are sugar lamb. You're a millionaire cattle ranger Well, that ain't such a bad thing to be Now, let me see your skyscraper builder and a cattle ranger and a diamond king and a movie star Grandpa the folks that gave me to this new york shore Yes, you knew your gackers. You are something hear that you heard what you called me. You knew your character you What a funny old man he is look at him jumping around in his chairs if we were 11 years old I hope I'll live to be an old woman just like him. You darn tootin you will David just and david what we're going to go to time square for midnight out right? We are I certainly think mr. Tucker ought to be in time square when tomorrow comes Being called gang this time. I mean don't tell me we found something that impresses you mr. Tucker I ain't impressed. I'm struck down. Hey, give me your hand. Claudia. You'll be swept off I didn't know there was so many men women and children in the whole world I sure do wish could figure what all the shouting's about everybody shouting because the next person shouting Nobody knows why It's new year's eve darling But the people shouting the old year going out or the new one coming in both. What's the difference? The important thing is is to shout I don't feel like shouting. Yeah, I know what you mean inside. I feel so quiet David I bet everybody else feels like that too, but still they keep on shouting even Roger and mr. Tucker Shouting for the benefit of each other because nobody wants the next person to think that he doesn't feel like I know maybe that's it. Oh darling hold me tight. The middle hand's almost at midnight. It's going to be a good year darling The last one was so good to us. It's almost frightening. A great deal is expected of this year. We better not fail or else There it is It's almost at midnight and all the shouting's going out to me. Yep, Sean. It's teetering on the edge of tomorrow And we have a tomorrow. We're not afraid of we're clothed head and howl But luxuries in this world And what a responsibility Happy new year Roger mr. Tucker And you my darling Your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola Joins the cast of claudia in wishing you and your family a very very happy new year mr. King I've come to wish you a happy new year. Oh, I thank you, mr. Killian And the same to you been quite an event tonight Jared Tucker's first new york new year is eve And I hope not his last what a morbid thought well He is 86 years old and probably lived to be a hundred probably in spite of the way he'll feel on monday Don't tell me this celebration is going to affect him as late as monday. Well, why don't you come around then and see? I'll do that Well, happy new year again As I was about to say every day monday through friday claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola So listen again monday at the same time And now this is joe king saying orif war And remember Whoever you are whatever you do wherever you may be When you think of refreshment Think of coca-cola Or coca-cola makes any pause the pause that refreshes and ice cold coca-cola is everywhere The parts of claudia and david on this program were played by kathryn bard and paul crabtree And the entire production is supervised and directed by william brown maloney And now here's a word from your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola